1 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,799 Speaker 1: You're listening to Alive Again, a production of Psycopia Pictures 2 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: and iHeart Podcasts. 3 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,440 Speaker 2: My name is Rodney White. On May third, two thousand 4 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:22,239 Speaker 2: and eight, in a very serious car accident, I almost died. 5 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 2: You do all this work of understanding who you are, 6 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 2: defining who you are, knowing what this means, and then 7 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 2: something like this event happens and art of that gets 8 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 2: thrown out of the window and you're left with a 9 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 2: blank slate. And now you got to rebuild your image 10 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 2: of yourself again. But you gotta go through a new 11 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,159 Speaker 2: trajectory of discovery to do it. 12 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 3: That's scary. 13 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: Welcome to Alive Again, a podcast that showcases miraculous accounts 14 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: of human fragility and resilience from people his lives were 15 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: forever altered after having almost died. These are first hand 16 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 1: accounts of near death experiences and more broadly, brushes with death. 17 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: Our mission is simple, find, explore, and share these stories 18 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: to remind us all of our shared human condition. Please 19 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 1: keep in mind these stories are true and maybe triggering 20 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: for some listener. Discretion is advised. 21 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:30,040 Speaker 2: I would describe myself professionally as I am an artist 22 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 2: and a creative. The way I started expressing myself creatively, 23 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,919 Speaker 2: but do a lot of drawing, and once. 24 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 3: I discovered painting, painting kind of I became. 25 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,959 Speaker 2: The medium that I was using the most to express 26 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 2: my creativity. Where I call home currently is Brooklyn, New York. 27 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 2: I've been here since two thousand and five, and I 28 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 2: moved here from my home state of Georgia. 29 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 3: New York. 30 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 2: For me, honestly, it was a childhood obsession of mine 31 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 2: and even as a kid, I was obsessed. I would 32 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 2: always draw the New York skyline in my name. I 33 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 2: would draw pictures of me on a subway platform. We 34 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 2: didn't have subways in a cause, so we had buses 35 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 2: at best, but I would always draw myself on subway platforms, 36 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:20,640 Speaker 2: and I was just putting myself in this city. Fast 37 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 2: forward a few years. I was doing well. I was 38 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 2: having some decent success in the ad industry. I was 39 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,600 Speaker 2: a great graphic designer, art director. I started painting and 40 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 2: met pretty quickly with some success from the painting, and 41 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 2: I knew I'm like, okay, now I'm ready to go. 42 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 2: And then around like two thousand and four, I made 43 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 2: the decision and I just prepared for a year to come. 44 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:50,239 Speaker 3: On to New York. It was immediate. The doors started 45 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 3: to like open up for me. 46 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 2: My ad career in New York literally walked through my 47 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 2: front door of my apartment, like dude came in to 48 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,680 Speaker 2: buy a pay to bind. He bought the biggest painting 49 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 2: on the wall. He gave me a check, and then 50 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 2: he said, you need any freelance. I said, I'm always 51 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 2: looking for freelance. He said, well, call these people and 52 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 2: tell them I recommended you. I went in for an interview. 53 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 2: They offered me a job. 54 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 3: So literally, the opportunity to get into. 55 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 2: The addy industry in New York City walked through my 56 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 2: front door. 57 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 3: The path is opening up and I can see the 58 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,519 Speaker 3: lanes I need to take and I'm just walking in. 59 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 2: So I started this job and one by accounts supervisors. 60 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 2: Sophia is my now wife. So we meet within six 61 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 2: months of me being in New York City, and there 62 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 2: was obviously something there between us. 63 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 3: Neither one of us really understood what it meant or 64 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 3: what it was. 65 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 2: And there were lots of starts and stops, you know, 66 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 2: hang out, don't hang out, hang out, don't break up. 67 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 3: They didn't don't break. 68 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 2: It was just a lot of stop and starts. And 69 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 2: through that there was a lot of like a relationship building. 70 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:07,119 Speaker 2: We were getting closer, We're becoming really really good friends. 71 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 2: And on one of our most beautiful vacations together, we're 72 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 2: in Costa Rica at the Eco. 73 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 3: Lodge, this big mansion. 74 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 2: It was like up this mountaintop, like, yeah, you're so 75 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:24,359 Speaker 2: high up that clouds are blowing by the window. 76 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 3: And it was in that place we. 77 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 2: Break up, in one of the most beautiful places on 78 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 2: the planet. It seems like we break up. I was 79 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 2: entering a dark space, and even in the paintings that 80 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,280 Speaker 2: I was doing, the colors were starting to get darker. 81 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 3: I knew I was going through something. 82 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 2: The last painting that I was working on when the 83 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 2: car incident occurred, and I still have it in my garage. 84 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,279 Speaker 2: I never finished it, but the words that I did 85 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:58,279 Speaker 2: finish on the painting today in English and then. 86 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 3: El bueno yo in Spanish today, I. 87 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,359 Speaker 2: Am the good meet, I am the good version of 88 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:09,279 Speaker 2: myself that was me through my painting, trying to wheel 89 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 2: myself out of the funk that I was in. The 90 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 2: spiritual funk that I was in. I was yearning for 91 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 2: something to change. I was yearning for some academic about 92 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 2: myself to be different. After the breakup in Costa Rica, 93 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 2: we come back home and we're still hanging out. We're 94 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 2: still friends. I know this is a tenth Ray part 95 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 2: like the last eight times we broke up and got 96 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 2: back together. I'm good, I can hang out. So we 97 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,359 Speaker 2: go to a concert in Greenpoint to go see the 98 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 2: Brazilian Girls, and at the time, the Brazilian Girls was 99 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 2: like one of my favorite bands that I was listening to. 100 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,840 Speaker 2: Us and listen to a lot of Brazilian girls. We're 101 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 2: leieving the concert and it's me, my wife, and two 102 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,280 Speaker 2: other people from work. 103 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 3: So mind you. 104 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 2: Time, we've been on and off at work through almost 105 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 2: three years. No one at worked new so to kind 106 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 2: of like, you know, keep the inference that you know 107 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 2: something's going on between us. 108 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,279 Speaker 3: She rode with. 109 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 2: Them when we were leaving the concert, and they get 110 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 2: in their car and they dropped me off at mine 111 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 2: and they keep going. 112 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,839 Speaker 3: It was a residential neighborhood that we was driving in. 113 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 2: So they go through a stop sign and then I 114 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,840 Speaker 2: put up to the stop sign, and then I go 115 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:28,920 Speaker 2: through the stop sign. 116 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 3: They heard the crash and they turned around and they 117 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 3: were like, where. 118 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,160 Speaker 2: Did Rodney go? They didn't see my car at all. 119 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,039 Speaker 2: They got out of the car to come and look 120 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 2: for me, and they see my car was flipped over 121 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 2: and pushed two carings down the road. The car that 122 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:56,720 Speaker 2: hit me was a Honda City and I'm in a 123 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,599 Speaker 2: Jeep Cherokee, So to hit a jeep Cherokee and flip 124 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 2: it and then push it, those are extreaming speeds. So 125 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 2: Phil lifted up the gate of my of the Cherokee 126 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 2: and she could see that I was lying on the 127 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 2: passenger's side and that my chest was breathing, So she 128 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 2: knew I was alive, but I wasn't responsible because she 129 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:25,880 Speaker 2: kept part of my name and I wasn't responsible. The 130 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 2: ambulance came, the fire trucks came. They used the jaws 131 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:37,360 Speaker 2: of life to cut me out. They wouldn't let her 132 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 2: ride with me in the back of the amulets because 133 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 2: obviously we're not married at the time, so she had 134 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 2: to like ride in the front. They take me to 135 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 2: Balfy Hospital, but on the way they stopped and she 136 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 2: was really questioned like like why we stopped, like like 137 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 2: this this doesn't make any sense, like why are we stopping? 138 00:07:55,000 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 2: And it turns out I had flat line, the heart 139 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 2: started beating, there was no blood pumping, the heart was 140 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 2: no longer functioning. The ambulance can't move while they're resuscitating 141 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 2: the victim. 142 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 3: So we get to the hospital. My entire left side 143 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 3: was broken. 144 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,800 Speaker 2: My clavigal seven ribs, my pelvis, and all of my 145 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 2: organs were pushed up into my lungs. So nothing was 146 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 2: where it should have been. So surgery was needed to 147 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:33,839 Speaker 2: put everything. 148 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 3: Back in place. 149 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 2: She can't authorize it, so she calls my mom and 150 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:41,559 Speaker 2: they tell her, if you don't authorize this surgery, he won't. 151 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 3: Be here when you get here. 152 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,439 Speaker 2: My mom was like, do whatever you gotta do keep 153 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 2: my son alive. In order to do this surgery, they 154 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 2: put me in a medically induced coma. On the operating table, 155 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,679 Speaker 2: I flatlined again. I don't know how long that flat 156 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 2: line occurred for, but I was revived. They were trying 157 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 2: to bring me out of the coma after a week, and. 158 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,319 Speaker 3: My body just wouldn't come out of the coma. 159 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:19,199 Speaker 2: So then they resorted to just removing me from the morphine. 160 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 2: And they told him, like he used to be waking 161 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 2: up screaming and pain right now because he has no 162 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 2: morphine drilled. His body is in so much pain. He 163 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 2: should be screaming right now, and he's not. 164 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 3: He's just in this coma with no more fear. 165 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 2: I woke up about three weeks later, and it wasn't 166 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 2: like the nurses or doctors doing something to bring me out. 167 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,680 Speaker 2: It was literally just with Sophia beside my bed, maybe 168 00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 2: watching TV or on her phone or something, and I 169 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 2: came out. I woke up out of the coma, and 170 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 2: I know where I am, but I have no idea 171 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,320 Speaker 2: why I am here. 172 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 3: The person that I saw next to my bed was 173 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:14,319 Speaker 3: to feel. 174 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 2: It's almost like I didn't necessary see her face, I 175 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 2: saw her spirit. It was just like it was just 176 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 2: pure light next to my bed. She was like, if 177 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,080 Speaker 2: you can understand me, squeeze my hand. So I squeezed 178 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 2: her hand and then she asked me if I could speak, 179 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,319 Speaker 2: and I kind of like muttered out a couple of 180 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 2: words or whatever. 181 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 3: Gat good, and then she said, do you know who 182 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,119 Speaker 3: I am? 183 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 2: I said, yeah, I know who you are, and then 184 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 2: she said who am I and I said Olivia. 185 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 3: And she freaked. She like, who if I doesn't live you. 186 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 2: My explanation for that is that the person that I 187 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 2: saw beside my bed was. 188 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 3: A pure, pure spirit. 189 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 2: And the only person that I've ever really associated that 190 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 2: purreness of light to was Olivia's character from the coffee 191 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 2: show Raven Someone, and she was like a little kid 192 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 2: like that character. Her light just just shines off of 193 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 2: the screen. It's like it just she was such a 194 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 2: cute pure spirit that I just. 195 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 3: Like just stayed with me. 196 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 2: That was who I saw by my bedside when I 197 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 2: woke her from the comb. My memory was truly affected 198 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 2: by my TBI a week before the car ancident is 199 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 2: completely erased, so in my mind, I don't remember breaking 200 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 2: up with Sophia. In my mind, Sofia and I are 201 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 2: still together. So I didn't see my edge girlfriend next 202 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 2: to my bed. I saw my girlfriend next to my bed. 203 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,680 Speaker 2: The recovery process for me, it was tough at first. 204 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 2: I first came out of the coma. Obviously, being three 205 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 2: weeks in a coma, your mouth is gonna. 206 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 3: Be kind of dry. I wanted water so bad. 207 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 2: It was the only thing I was I was obsessed 208 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 2: with just getting water, and no one would give me water. 209 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 3: No one was allowed to give me water. 210 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 2: They didn't know if I could swallow without drowning, so 211 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 2: no one would give me water. It would give me 212 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 2: some ice cubes, and I have to chew on the 213 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 2: ice cubes. And I didn't want the ice cubes. I 214 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 2: wanted a glass of water. And one night I woke 215 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,800 Speaker 2: up and it was late and there was a nurse 216 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 2: in the room with me, and she had fallen asleep, 217 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,079 Speaker 2: and I see a picture of water on the table 218 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 2: next to the bed. So I start trying to get 219 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 2: to the picture of water and I fall out of 220 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 2: the bed and she wakes up and she's like, what 221 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 2: did I tell you? 222 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 3: What? 223 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:41,000 Speaker 2: What did I My body had completely atrophied. I couldn't 224 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 2: even hold a spoon up to my mouth, so I 225 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 2: couldn't feed myself. I had to be fed food. 226 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:46,559 Speaker 3: Obviously. 227 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 2: I couldn't stand in my body. I couldn't hold myself up. 228 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,680 Speaker 2: I had to be held up, propped up. But the 229 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:57,439 Speaker 2: physical therapy that start to happen at the hospital began 230 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 2: to help with that. One of the things that my 231 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,960 Speaker 2: friends and family were most concerned about me when I 232 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 2: was in the hospital was howard his hands. 233 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:14,959 Speaker 3: I was a painter. 234 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 2: I used my hands to create I had a pretty 235 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,640 Speaker 2: successful commercial art career, and that was the concern, is 236 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 2: he gonna be able to paint again. I mentioned earlier 237 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 2: life I had created for myself. 238 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 3: Everything was exactly to my specifications. 239 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,480 Speaker 2: I was obsessed and just so anxious to get back 240 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 2: to that life. It's an easy trap to fall into 241 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 2: because the old self that I had created was so dope. 242 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,320 Speaker 2: I mean, I was making decent money. I had just 243 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 2: bought me a condo, I had a beautiful girlfriend. 244 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:50,199 Speaker 3: I was having a success. 245 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 2: It's easy to say, no, get back to that, go 246 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 2: back to that, that's dope. Because of it happened in 247 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 2: May two thousand and eight, and three years later, Sophie 248 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 2: and I were married. By the time we got married, 249 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 2: I still wasn't back to my old self. 250 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 3: Things didn't fit the way they used to fit. 251 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 2: The physical effects of the accident changed the way I walk, 252 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 2: which sounds review, but the way you move through the 253 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 2: world there's a rhythm to you. There's a rhythm to 254 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 2: the way you engage with the environment around you, and 255 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 2: I had established that rhythm, where now my rhythm has 256 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 2: to change. So all these things were they seemed like 257 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:42,920 Speaker 2: small effects, but when you start to put them all together, 258 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 2: you start to realize that, okay, it's this small physical 259 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 2: rhythm here, this memory issue here, this creative laps that 260 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 2: I'm having here, All these things are connected. Imagine this 261 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 2: picture of yourself being like a glass photograph, and when 262 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 2: the glass graph is broken, it gets broken up into 263 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 2: all these little pieces, and you start trying to put 264 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 2: the pieces back together because you know what the image 265 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 2: looks like. And you see a piece and you recognize 266 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 2: where it goes, but the space for it is different 267 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 2: than the shape of that piece. So now you're like, no, 268 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,720 Speaker 2: this doesn't make any sense, Like this goes here? Why 269 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:29,040 Speaker 2: isn't it shaped like that? That was because I later realized 270 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 2: and later learned that the inner parts of me were given. 271 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 3: A new dimension. 272 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 2: There were new levels that I was given access to, 273 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 2: that these old pieces, these old shapes, no longer served 274 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 2: and no longer fit. 275 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 3: These are not things that my mind is able. 276 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 2: To comprehend from a physical experience. 277 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 3: I gotta go deeper to get these answers. I gotta 278 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 3: go within. 279 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 2: Myself to a level that my rational mind don't understand 280 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 2: just yet. Started practicing meditation every day, and my physical 281 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 2: exhaustion eased up quite a bit. I started doing cranial 282 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 2: sacho therapy. It starts with the therapist like behind your head, 283 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 2: and the skull comes in many different pieces, and there's movement, 284 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,960 Speaker 2: there's shifting of those plates and those pieces that can 285 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 2: allow deeper physical and spiritual things to occur. 286 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 3: That began almost in immediate transition. 287 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 2: In the way my memory you had to hold and 288 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 2: take shape again, and it was it was profound. 289 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 3: I met Atlanta through through Sophia. 290 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 2: Actually, so Sophia did it first and the experience left 291 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 2: her in such a way where she was like, you right, 292 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 2: and you have to do this. I'm meditating now, I'm 293 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 2: into these non Western logical ways of approaching my development 294 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 2: that I'm like, okay, cool, I'm gaming, give me our number. 295 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 2: The way I understand Akashi records is energy cannot be 296 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 2: created or destroyed on the transfer. 297 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,320 Speaker 3: Our spirits are energy. Spirits are not created. 298 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 2: There are many bodies our spirits have been in, and 299 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 2: I believe that spirit has a purpose and it tries 300 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,600 Speaker 2: to articulate that purpose in the. 301 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,280 Speaker 3: Physical forms over its existence. 302 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 2: So Yakashi records are records of those lifetime records of 303 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 2: those lessons that that spirit has picked up along the way. 304 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 2: The imprints Elena has access to those records. 305 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 3: So I called her, and the way she operates it 306 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 3: is like. 307 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,879 Speaker 2: She only really answers questions, and oftentimes you ask the 308 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,200 Speaker 2: questions and she's shown an image and she only tells. 309 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 3: You what she sees. 310 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 2: She can only tell you what she's being shown. Sometimes 311 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,919 Speaker 2: that there are statements. Sometimes they are just images, and 312 00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 2: she has to describe those images to you. But the 313 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,639 Speaker 2: first question I asked her, I told her about the coma, 314 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,600 Speaker 2: first the medically induced coma and then the mysterious two 315 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:14,159 Speaker 2: week coma that they couldn't figure out what was happening 316 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 2: to me. I asked her, what happened to me? And 317 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 2: where did I go? 318 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 3: She took a moment, and then she said that she 319 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 3: could see the. 320 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 2: Spirit leave the body twice and it was debating whether 321 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,919 Speaker 2: to return or not. I didn't tell her that I 322 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,520 Speaker 2: had flat line twice, and she said there was a 323 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 2: figure there. I keep seeing a figure that was advocating 324 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:44,480 Speaker 2: for your spirit to return. And she said, it's someone 325 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 2: that was once physical. It wasn't an angel, It wasn't 326 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 2: like a godlike figure, she said, but it was like 327 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 2: it was definitely a fatherlike figure that was advocating for 328 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 2: your spirit to return and then she said, I'm seeing 329 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 2: the color red in his shirt and I meanly on 330 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:05,400 Speaker 2: the car. I started to cry because that father figure 331 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 2: was by father. 332 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 3: My dad had passed. 333 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 2: Away on the same day as my car accident five 334 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 2: years prior, so between the day that he died and 335 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 2: the day I got into the car accident was exactly 336 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 2: five years. One of the things that I heard from 337 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 2: my stepmom, who was married to my dad was this 338 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 2: was like early, early in the beginning after my recovery. 339 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:33,680 Speaker 2: She said to me that your dad. 340 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 3: Was not going to let you die on the same 341 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:38,879 Speaker 3: day that he died. And you know, I kind of 342 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 3: dismissed it. 343 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 2: I dismissed it as like, okay, well whatever, everything is 344 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 2: not about Jimmy. 345 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 3: My dad's name is Jimmy. I was like, everything is 346 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,399 Speaker 3: not about Jimmy. 347 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,879 Speaker 2: Obviously there's a connection that she has to my dad 348 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:54,639 Speaker 2: that I would never be able to understand, and rightfully so, 349 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,679 Speaker 2: so you know, after a while, it's like everybody does 350 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,479 Speaker 2: it is with their parents and step parents was like 351 00:19:58,720 --> 00:19:59,400 Speaker 2: the things they. 352 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,800 Speaker 3: Say, You're like, come on, man, this again. 353 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:04,679 Speaker 2: So she said that, I kind of dismissed it, and 354 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,920 Speaker 2: you know, everything it's not about Jimmy. 355 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:12,520 Speaker 3: Turns out, yes it is. It absolutely was about Jimmy. 356 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:17,119 Speaker 2: Physically, we are the exact same height, We wore the 357 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 2: same size shoe, we were the same size clothes. I 358 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 2: still have some of his rings that he gave me 359 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:26,359 Speaker 2: before he passed. Never had to get him resized. Fisty 360 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,239 Speaker 2: is that same finger. Even down to the way I talked, right, 361 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:32,439 Speaker 2: I speed taught like Jimmy, I move like Jimmy. 362 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,800 Speaker 3: Like even I see myself with my only kids and. 363 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh shit, that's my dad. It's really really 364 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 2: close and apparent. But there was many, many years where 365 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 2: there was a bit of a tension between me and 366 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,920 Speaker 2: my dad. I didn't meet my dad until I was fourteen. 367 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 2: I knew who he was, I had seen pictures of him, 368 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 2: but the experience of knowing him in middle school in 369 00:20:55,720 --> 00:21:01,679 Speaker 2: high school was kind of like the beginnings of our relationship. Okay, 370 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,720 Speaker 2: so now some clear pictures are starting to form. Can 371 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 2: use advocating for my spirit to return. The spirit would 372 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 2: not return to the body unless it was assured that 373 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 2: it was a safe place for it to be, so 374 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 2: in exchange for that return, the angels kept me in 375 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 2: the coma to continue to work on me. Atlanta uses 376 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,920 Speaker 2: different terms to describe the beings that were in there. 377 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 2: To use his terms like master's teachers, the angels, the 378 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 2: higher beings, and she use them interchangeably sometimes. And the 379 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 2: way Atlanta described the scene to me, she said, there 380 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,400 Speaker 2: was this cocoon around you made out of strands of light. 381 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 3: You were being made better because the spirit wouldn't accept 382 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 3: or return in any other condition. 383 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 2: But she said you were being fixed in and repaired 384 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:11,240 Speaker 2: and fortified at the final frequencies. The first thing that 385 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 2: is spirits kind of helped me understand was who embrace 386 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 2: the mysteries of not knowing and embrace the mysteries of discovery. 387 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,640 Speaker 2: It was tough to get to that point because it's 388 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 2: scary when something like this event happens. You look back 389 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,879 Speaker 2: at the old pictures of yourself and you see, oh, 390 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 2: that was good. I want to get back to that. 391 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,399 Speaker 2: And now you got to rebuild your image of yourself again. 392 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 2: The new pieces, the new direction, and the new trajectory 393 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 2: that I needed to take was unknown, and it required 394 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 2: work to get there, required respiraitual work to get there. 395 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 2: It required a vulnerability about what to do next. But 396 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,680 Speaker 2: I also understood that. On the other side of that, 397 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,439 Speaker 2: the reward is something that I'm not going to allow 398 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:13,160 Speaker 2: myself to pass up on. These are now new pieces, 399 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 2: new gain pieces, and they're better, They're fortified with higher frequencies. 400 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,400 Speaker 3: These are new, better pieces. 401 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 2: So have fun in experiencing the power and dynamics of 402 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 2: that combination. 403 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 3: My art did change. 404 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,000 Speaker 2: Painting has not been a part of my creative output 405 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 2: per se. 406 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 3: I still have desires to paint. 407 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,200 Speaker 2: I got things ideas and that I want to do, 408 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:43,040 Speaker 2: But the expression of my creativity can take form in 409 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 2: whatever fashion in best needs to be articulated. 410 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,639 Speaker 3: That to me is most artists' greatest challenge. 411 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 2: When there's a message that needs to get out there, 412 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,880 Speaker 2: there's something that needs to be articulated. 413 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 3: Oftentimes will have. 414 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,959 Speaker 2: A method of how we think that should be, but 415 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,280 Speaker 2: the spirit has an other idea about that, and we 416 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 2: have to be able to tap into what that spirit 417 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 2: believe is the best articulation of it and and pursue that. 418 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:12,360 Speaker 2: I created a couple of clothing brands. I'm working on 419 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 2: a poetry project. The art in the creativity is manifesting 420 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,640 Speaker 2: itself in ways that aren't necessarily what. 421 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 3: I'm known to do visually, but. 422 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 2: It's getting out there, it's coming through in these alternative 423 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 2: mediums and methods. Creativity is my it's it's what I 424 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,440 Speaker 2: always believed or what I've kind of confirmed in through 425 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:37,919 Speaker 2: a lot of my inner work, that creativity is my 426 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 2: spiritual purpose. 427 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,639 Speaker 3: I'm an artist and then everything else. 428 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 2: The way I see myself is if I'm not creative first, 429 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:52,159 Speaker 2: nobody else wins. Nobody else has a positive experience of me, 430 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,880 Speaker 2: nobody else gets the best of me, nobody else. 431 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 3: Gets the things that they need from me. 432 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 2: If I'm not an artist first, I'm not serving my 433 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 2: highest spiritual purpose that benefits everyone else. Previous to painting, 434 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,640 Speaker 2: words were a thing that led me down to create 435 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,520 Speaker 2: a path, and then the painting became an articulation of 436 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 2: the words, and then the painting and words eventually moved 437 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,200 Speaker 2: to me dabbling around trying to teach myself how to 438 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 2: make music, which is kind of where I'm now. 439 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 3: The stuff so it all lives together. It all stems 440 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:27,240 Speaker 3: from the. 441 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 2: Same trait, but the leaves was brought a different fruit 442 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:37,679 Speaker 2: at various points. So it allowed me to step away 443 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:42,680 Speaker 2: from having to control everything to make sure everything goes 444 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 2: the way I see it and goal as playing I 445 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 2: can handle whatever the outcome is of any situation. It 446 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:57,359 Speaker 2: does the mystery of it don't scare me. One of 447 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:01,480 Speaker 2: my living functions that I was living purposes now is 448 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,600 Speaker 2: protect the spirit. The spirit did not want to return 449 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 2: to the body unless they knew it was safe, so 450 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:10,720 Speaker 2: the body had to become a place that protected the spirit. 451 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,399 Speaker 2: It found safety and security there. So I have to 452 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 2: make sure that I am protecting it at all costs. 453 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 2: And that looks very different to a lot of people, 454 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,560 Speaker 2: especially those who knew me before the car accident. Oftentimes 455 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,920 Speaker 2: it looks like selfishness. It looks like I'm looking out 456 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 2: for me first, and in a lot of ways, yes 457 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:31,720 Speaker 2: i am. 458 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:32,919 Speaker 3: But one of. 459 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 2: The things I learned is when you live out your 460 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:42,199 Speaker 2: spiritual purpose, you inherently serve humanity by being true to 461 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:42,679 Speaker 2: the spirit. 462 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 3: I often think about like time travel, and if I would. 463 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 2: Go back and change things, I wouldn't change anything. I 464 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 2: would not change the carcident. I would not change what 465 00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:00,119 Speaker 2: happened to me because the other side of all all 466 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 2: of those experiences is this life I'm living right now, 467 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:04,879 Speaker 2: and it is dope. 468 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 3: It is it is, it is beautiful. 469 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,200 Speaker 2: I have a firmly hell belief that most of us 470 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:15,360 Speaker 2: don't always achieve our dreams because we are not intimately. 471 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 3: Familiar with what it looks like. 472 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 2: But if you know the way the spirit feels when 473 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 2: it's faced with it, you'll recognize the unrecognizable particle dream. 474 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 2: Then life that I designed for myself before the car acident, 475 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 2: and then the parts that I was giving to put 476 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,880 Speaker 2: the life put the picture back together. This life I'm 477 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,760 Speaker 2: living now is a result of those pieces, because the 478 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 2: accident allowed a higher spiritual vibration, so I would not 479 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,919 Speaker 2: change it at all. I have a spiritual function, a 480 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:51,159 Speaker 2: spiritual purpose. I still have work to do. I know 481 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,240 Speaker 2: my spirit still has work to do, and I know 482 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:59,440 Speaker 2: there's things that my spirit uniquely believes that I can 483 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,640 Speaker 2: articket that needs to be done, and I haven't done 484 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,960 Speaker 2: them yet. There's a lot of I couldn't do them, 485 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 2: and then there's fifteen years if I wanted to, But 486 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,399 Speaker 2: there's a lot of them, so I know I got 487 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 2: at least fifteen years. 488 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,400 Speaker 1: Welcome back, this is Alive again, joining me for a 489 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 1: conversation about today's story or my other Alive against story 490 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:53,440 Speaker 1: Producers Kate Sweeney, Nicholas Takowski and Brent Dye and I'm 491 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 1: your host, Dan Bush. So in this episode you talked 492 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 1: with Rodney White. What about Rodney's story drew you in? 493 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 4: Well, you know, we heard so much variety in each 494 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,080 Speaker 4: of the different folks that we talked with. And the 495 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:11,920 Speaker 4: thing with Rodney White is he's an artist, and I 496 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 4: didn't know him before I talked with him, but I 497 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:20,360 Speaker 4: knew that he was this prolific painter and this experience 498 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 4: in which he almost died forced him to reinvent himself completely. 499 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 4: And that's only like the tip of the iceberg of 500 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 4: this story. 501 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:34,720 Speaker 1: That was a fascinating story. What Rodney White went through 502 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,440 Speaker 1: as an artist is particularly of interest to me, being 503 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:43,520 Speaker 1: a creator. Just his description of having gone through this 504 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 1: and finding his way as an artist and going from 505 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,920 Speaker 1: you know, being a renowned, in demand both commercial and 506 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 1: in the art world painter and a visual artist and 507 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 1: now he's sort of shifted more to music. Yeah, I 508 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,880 Speaker 1: mean that entire shift of and now he also just 509 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,920 Speaker 1: the feeling that he indicates of living in his own 510 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 1: flesh and blood and living in his own body and 511 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 1: living in his own spirit in a way that he 512 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 1: wasn't before. 513 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,120 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I can say so much about Ronnie 514 00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 4: White and you might have to just cut me off. 515 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 4: I found that to be really compelling, Like the whole 516 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 4: thing about his talking about how he was sort of 517 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 4: trying to force himself back into his old narrative as 518 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,240 Speaker 4: an artist. This was before he spoke to the medium, 519 00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 4: before he sort of discovered his purpose as he sees 520 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 4: it now. And you know, it's sort of the theme 521 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,960 Speaker 4: that we see running through many of these stories, people 522 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,240 Speaker 4: trying to go back to living life the way it 523 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 4: was before before realizing Okay, you know, some kind of 524 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 4: change is needed, and this is the form that that 525 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:56,920 Speaker 4: takes in Rodney's story, you know, moving from painting to 526 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 4: you know, creating clothing, brands and music. And another thing 527 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 4: that struck me is, you know, as he puts it, 528 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:07,640 Speaker 4: it allowed me to step away from having to control everything. 529 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:12,840 Speaker 4: And I just found that to be really really inspiring. Actually, 530 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,560 Speaker 4: this idea of like, Okay, it's not up to me, 531 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:20,120 Speaker 4: this is up to the universe. And that's probably in 532 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:21,640 Speaker 4: part because God, I wish. 533 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 3: I could do that. You know, I can't do that. 534 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,360 Speaker 5: Well, I think there might be something to be said for, 535 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,080 Speaker 5: you know, as an artist, you spend your life developing 536 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,600 Speaker 5: the skill set that defines who you are, and you're 537 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:38,200 Speaker 5: making your voice. You're spending your whole life creating your voice. 538 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 5: And to have that taken away like potentially so you 539 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 5: know it, I think, you know it puts a I 540 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,520 Speaker 5: think all artists kind of feel that sense of I 541 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,320 Speaker 5: only have so much time to create the work I 542 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,600 Speaker 5: want to create, sure, you know, and then and then 543 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 5: to kind of take it in a different direction like 544 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 5: he did. 545 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:59,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, Actually it makes me think about something that 546 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:04,280 Speaker 4: something else that he believes so strongly that I've just 547 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:07,240 Speaker 4: I found it to be so compelling, which is this 548 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,360 Speaker 4: belief that if you're doing what you're meant to do, 549 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:14,560 Speaker 4: doors will open for you. That's such a deep belief 550 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 4: for him. And again it's probably because I myself don't 551 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,840 Speaker 4: always believe that. I don't believe the world is a meritocracy. 552 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,239 Speaker 4: For example, I wish it were, but I don't think 553 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 4: that's the case. But every now and then it's really 554 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 4: nice hearing from somebody who know has complete confidence in 555 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,480 Speaker 4: the fact that the universe sort of is supporting them, 556 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,280 Speaker 4: you know, in this way, almost like a sense of destiny. 557 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 4: And in his story, I found it to be beautiful. 558 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:47,560 Speaker 1: There's this idea that I've heard a lot lately, and 559 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 1: this kind of resonates in this story as well, this 560 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 1: idea that, like people, we're at our strongest when we're 561 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:58,720 Speaker 1: most vulnerable. And there's something about that in the story, 562 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:02,120 Speaker 1: like him, the willingness for him to let go. I 563 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,479 Speaker 1: think it might have been like, maybe even more so 564 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:09,480 Speaker 1: than any rehabilitation he did physically, or you know, any 565 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 1: any things he had to do financially in his life, 566 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,400 Speaker 1: just for him to rebuild himself and to allow and 567 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,320 Speaker 1: to and to go, Okay, I'm vulnerable here, and to 568 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,640 Speaker 1: use that and to kind of live in that and 569 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 1: to have some some surrender then allowed him to find 570 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 1: a whole, entirely different sort of pathway as an artist. 571 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:36,600 Speaker 1: It's extremely inspiring. Next time, on a Live Again, we 572 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:40,120 Speaker 1: meet Anne Bayford, whose three near death experiences led to 573 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,840 Speaker 1: profound insights about life and the function of trauma. She 574 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:47,960 Speaker 1: now helps others as a certified counselor and psychic medium. 575 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,920 Speaker 6: I did not feel the van fitting me, but the 576 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 6: day I died in two thousand and two, that was 577 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 6: the day I actually woke up and realized why I 578 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 6: was here. When I look back at my life and 579 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:02,240 Speaker 6: my journey, it's the violence so that I injured as 580 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,200 Speaker 6: a child and as a woman as well. I can 581 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,240 Speaker 6: obviously say I don't see the world as a doc place. 582 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:13,280 Speaker 6: I see the world just having shadows. 583 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:19,080 Speaker 1: Our story producers are Dan Bush, Kate Sweeney, Brent Die, 584 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:23,960 Speaker 1: Nicholas Dakoski, and Lauren Vogelbaum. Music by Ben Lovett, additional 585 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:28,080 Speaker 1: music by Alexander Rodriguez. Our executive producers are Matthew Frederick 586 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:31,280 Speaker 1: and Trevor Young. Special thanks to Alexander Williams for additional 587 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:35,360 Speaker 1: production support. Our studio engineers are Rima el Kali and 588 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:39,879 Speaker 1: Noames Griffin. Our editors are Dan Bush, Gerhardt Slovitchca, Brent 589 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:44,359 Speaker 1: Die and Alexander Rodriguez. Mixing by Ben Lovett and Alexander Rodriguez. 590 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Dan Bush. Thanks to Rodney White for 591 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,839 Speaker 1: sharing his story. To learn more about Rodney and his work, 592 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,400 Speaker 1: go to Rodney dash White dot com. That's r O 593 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:59,160 Speaker 1: d n E Y dash w h I TV dot com. 594 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,520 Speaker 1: Alive agains its production of iHeart Radio and Psychopia Pictures. 595 00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,919 Speaker 1: If you have a transformative near death experience to share, 596 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:09,320 Speaker 1: we'd love to hear your story. Please email us at 597 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,480 Speaker 1: a Live Again Project at gmail dot com. That's a 598 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,560 Speaker 1: l I v e A g A I N P 599 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:39,280 Speaker 1: R O j e c T at gmail dot com