Speaker 1: It's been so long since I have um seen and
Speaker 1: worked with Jenna Elfman. She reached out to me on
Speaker 1: Instagram and I instantly like pink her back and said,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Hi, how are you. I'm so curious
Speaker 1: about so many things, you know, particularly like what's her
Speaker 1: life like? I know she doesn't live in l A anymore.
Speaker 1: I know she's homeschooling her kids. So here goes. I'm
Speaker 1: very excited to talk to my friend Jenna Alfman. Hi, Hi, Okay,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, why do you look so good? This
Speaker 1: is like a podcast. Well, I don't know. Well, you
Speaker 1: do look really good. Wow? Thank you? Did you do
Speaker 1: it yourself? Yeah? Really? Come on? How did you get
Speaker 1: your hair looking like that? No? My hair. I had
Speaker 1: blow drive this morning. But I can't do if I
Speaker 1: want you, I just I hate it because it's my hair.
Speaker 1: I don't have to. Yeah, well you look good. How
Speaker 1: about your makeup? Did you about yourself? Yes? I did
Speaker 1: my own makeup. I used Jones Road Beauty. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: what do you? Thank you so much? You're welcome. I
Speaker 1: bought some under a different alias, and then you sent
Speaker 1: me some amazing things like incredible and it wasn't the
Speaker 1: same I bought, so that was great. There was no
Speaker 1: I love it so good. Thank you, thank you. Well.
Speaker 1: You know, it's so funny because we've reconnected after all
Speaker 1: these years on Instagram where you said something really nice
Speaker 1: and I'm like, whoa wait, Hi. So first of all, Hi,
Speaker 1: Hi Bob. So good to see you. Yeah, it's good
Speaker 1: to see you too. Remind me because I don't remember
Speaker 1: how long ago we worked together. I think you were
Speaker 1: still on Darman Greg. Yeah, I think it was twenty
Speaker 1: two years ago. Oh my gosh, because it was Academy
Speaker 1: Awards after party. Oh my god, amazing memory. It's so
Speaker 1: funny when I think back at my life back then.
Speaker 1: I don't always remember the details, but I remember how
Speaker 1: much I liked working with you, always how easy or
Speaker 1: makeup was but to do because you're so naturally pretty.
Speaker 1: But just how much I enjoyed working with you. Because
Speaker 1: there are so many celebrities I don't have those find
Speaker 1: fuzzy memories. Oh that makes me happy. Thank you, And
Speaker 1: it's the same, you know. I think one of the
Speaker 1: things that I that made me reach out to you
Speaker 1: again when I saw your post was just I was
Speaker 1: reminded by how sincere and genuine you are and and
Speaker 1: how much you care you know, And it's um, it's
Speaker 1: funny with beauty because it can, by default, it kind
Speaker 1: of can land in you know, a very sort of
Speaker 1: self centered or sort of frivolous, you know whatever. It
Speaker 1: can go there, especially with celebrities or whatever, and your
Speaker 1: whole point of view especially I mean not for me
Speaker 1: to evaluate and tell you what your your point of
Speaker 1: view is, but what I received from your communication was
Speaker 1: just it was so much leaning into the beauty of
Speaker 1: being a woman, like the value in the world that
Speaker 1: a woman brings, and aligning that natural value, aligning the
Speaker 1: products and the application thereof and the whole concept around
Speaker 1: it to enhancing the natural beauty of just being a woman.
Speaker 1: And and I just love that so much. And whenever
Speaker 1: you communicate on your social media, it's always encouraging women
Speaker 1: to find like there's something special for every single individual.
Speaker 1: Every person has their own magic. And I just feel
Speaker 1: like you leave into that and your products support finding
Speaker 1: that for yourself and and anyway, I just was like, ah,
Speaker 1: I love that so much, especially you know, aging and
Speaker 1: and everything. And it's funny too. I don't mean to
Speaker 1: be on a rant, but like with with aging two.
Speaker 1: To me, it's it's like improvement. Aging to me is
Speaker 1: an upward spiral, not a downward one, because I have
Speaker 1: so much knowledge and experience, and I have my own
Speaker 1: point of view and I know it's my own now,
Speaker 1: and it's just everything you said and I felt it
Speaker 1: felt so where my head and heart is at, you know,
Speaker 1: And I just wanted to acknowledge that when I reached
Speaker 1: out to you well, as someone that always interrupts people,
Speaker 1: I made sure I didn't because what you were saying
Speaker 1: like means so much to me. And just ironically, my
Speaker 1: head of marketing, who is my son, has been saying, Mom,
Speaker 1: we can't put in words what you do and what
Speaker 1: you think and and so we're looking for a rand
Speaker 1: marketing person. But we just recorded everything you said. So
Speaker 1: I'm going to like play it for my son because
Speaker 1: it was it was said exactly the way I feel
Speaker 1: and think. And aging, first of all, like is such
Speaker 1: a positive. And I'm so much older than you are,
Speaker 1: which I never realized. I mean, I turned sixty five
Speaker 1: this year, so you know, how how do you I'm
Speaker 1: I'm fifty now, I'll be fifty one in September. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know and like it's crazy. Fifty sounds so young
Speaker 1: to me. You know, it's crazy. You know it's crazy.
Speaker 1: And you've got two little boys. I do, but one
Speaker 1: just turned fifteen this wu and your son you work
Speaker 1: with your son. My heart just like totally skipped a
Speaker 1: beat because the idea, the idea of like, it must
Speaker 1: be amazing, Bobby. You put all this time raising your
Speaker 1: kid and now they're working for you and you get
Speaker 1: to see all of the values and knowledge that you
Speaker 1: know landed, what didn't land or whatever. But to be
Speaker 1: working together, I was like, oh my god, it feels
Speaker 1: like a dream come true to me. Yeah, dream or
Speaker 1: you know, not the easiest thing in the world. You know,
Speaker 1: you were who worked towards everything. Not only is my
Speaker 1: son who he's my my head of marketing, his wife,
Speaker 1: who's expecting my first grandchild, is the head of social
Speaker 1: So you know, it's a very interesting thing. But you
Speaker 1: know my yeah, I had little kids when I worked
Speaker 1: with you, and now they're thirty, two, thirty, and I
Speaker 1: did have a third of twenty now he's twenty four,
Speaker 1: and so you're in the fun stuff. Does it feel fun?
Speaker 1: It is fun. I was just before we before I
Speaker 1: got up to put my makeup on. I was having
Speaker 1: an afternoon snuggle with my boys in bed, and I
Speaker 1: feel so lucky that they're twelve and fifteen and they
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, guys, I have to get up now,
Speaker 1: and they were like wrapping their arms around me, going no, Mama,
Speaker 1: more snuggle And we were just laying there watching the
Speaker 1: Office and laughing and stuggling, and it's I am in
Speaker 1: the fun zone, it is, but they're you know, preparing
Speaker 1: them for life. Especially my fifteen year old. He's very
Speaker 1: like looking towards the job and driving and apprenticeships, and
Speaker 1: it's it's very I feel like all of the oil
Speaker 1: of motherhood leading up to this moment is now like
Speaker 1: going to manifest, and is the opportunity to point out
Speaker 1: all those things in the real world, Like really that
Speaker 1: I've been talking to him about. He has kind of
Speaker 1: something to compare it to. Now, you know it's not
Speaker 1: just mom lecture lessons. Well, do you know that whenever
Speaker 1: he's rude or mean or whatever the moments are, it's
Speaker 1: because he's preparing to like be independent from you. I
Speaker 1: had to read a book the first time because I
Speaker 1: was like devastated, and it's really it's true, and they
Speaker 1: all come back you know, so is so plus thanks.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, but you know, you burn and
Speaker 1: melt and sweat and worry and cry and hope, and
Speaker 1: no one thanks you till maybe they're in their twenties
Speaker 1: and they get out in the world and then they
Speaker 1: see maybe that not everyone is has values the way
Speaker 1: they do, where has manners the way they might, and
Speaker 1: then they call you hopefully and go, oh wow, I
Speaker 1: get it now, thank you. I have some perspective. I
Speaker 1: called my mom because I was like, mom, my work
Speaker 1: ethic and people at the at the job really really
Speaker 1: appreciate um all the things that I do and you
Speaker 1: taught you and dad taught me all of that, and
Speaker 1: they really see that not everybody has that. I just thought,
Speaker 1: I don't know, and thank you. I get why you
Speaker 1: were strict. I get why you didn't let me party.
Speaker 1: You know, I get the curfew time. I understand, like,
Speaker 1: I get it, and I just was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: thank you. You know, I grew up here in l A.
Speaker 1: Here I'm in Austin. I grew up in l A.
Speaker 1: Are you a movie kid, like, were your parents in
Speaker 1: the industry? No, my dad worked for Huge Aircraft, and
Speaker 1: my mom was full time mom and would sometimes work
Speaker 1: part time jobs at the ballet studio, you know, where
Speaker 1: I was studying because I was trained to be a
Speaker 1: professional dancer, and I was a professional dancer. So my
Speaker 1: whole upbringing, every day after school, six days a week,
Speaker 1: was not at the mall or anywhere else, but it
Speaker 1: was in the ballet studio training. And was Darmin Gregg
Speaker 1: your first big like breakthrough star moment. Yeah, I had
Speaker 1: just done one uh series right before that. That was
Speaker 1: my first series regular and before that was you know,
Speaker 1: just auditions and guest star roles and um for six
Speaker 1: months before that. So and I had just gotten an agent,
Speaker 1: you know, UM, so that I did that one series
Speaker 1: called Town Knees and I got noticed from that, and
Speaker 1: twenty century Fox gave me a development deal based on
Speaker 1: my work on that and then gave me a list
Speaker 1: of writers that they had deals with and said, pick
Speaker 1: whoever you want to create a show for you amazing um.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I had met with one set of
Speaker 1: writers and they were like, oh, we're really interested, but
Speaker 1: we're already developing something. We have to wait till next year.
Speaker 1: And I just I could tell I felt I knew
Speaker 1: I had momentum, and I didn't want to lose the momentum.
Speaker 1: So I was like the next on the list, you know.
Speaker 1: And so um, that's how German Grand came about. And
Speaker 1: how many years were you on the air? That ran
Speaker 1: for five years, but it was you know, every every
Speaker 1: season was twenty two to twenty four episodes, so they
Speaker 1: were big long nineties sitcom seasons, you know. And has
Speaker 1: your kids saying that the series, yeah, barely, They like
Speaker 1: really don't have any interest in watching me on television
Speaker 1: because I'm with them all the time. They're like, why
Speaker 1: am I watching you? You're sitting right here my mom, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I know, you're yeah, you're funny. We
Speaker 1: have fun Like I don't need to watch you do something.
Speaker 1: So every time I watch Fear the Walking Dead, you know,
Speaker 1: they're into the Walking Dead universe and they like that
Speaker 1: I'm in that. So they'll watch my episodes of Fear
Speaker 1: the Walking Dead. Well, it drives me crazy that the
Speaker 1: kids in my office, you know, if they haven't seen
Speaker 1: it on Nick you know Nickelodeon, Like I had Harry
Speaker 1: Connack Jr's kid in the office. I'm like that her
Speaker 1: father's Harry Connick Junior. They looked at me like who,
Speaker 1: I'm like, do you not know who Harry Conna Jr?
Speaker 1: Like you you know, how do you not know who
Speaker 1: Blondie is? Like? Guys? So you know? But uh yeah,
Speaker 1: So what do you miss the most about that period?
Speaker 1: And what is the most fun thing that you are
Speaker 1: doing right now? Um? I think I don't know. You know,
Speaker 1: there's no social media when I was doing Darmind greg um,
Speaker 1: and there was a focus to the work and to
Speaker 1: the experience of being on set. The structure of doing
Speaker 1: press was very different, you know. The it was just
Speaker 1: you had you know, you had more viewers because there
Speaker 1: were less networks. There was no streaming, there was you know,
Speaker 1: so we were doing like twenty two million viewers every
Speaker 1: week like that was regular. And I think I just
Speaker 1: I think I missed the power of the focused audience,
Speaker 1: you know. Um there was just something to that. Uh.
Speaker 1: And it meant something if you were succeeding on a show,
Speaker 1: it really meant something and it and it meant something
Speaker 1: to your own contribution as an artist and everything like that. Um,
Speaker 1: what I love doing now that was the opportunity, the
Speaker 1: fact that I've had a long career and in my
Speaker 1: late forties, getting Fear the Walking Dead and having the
Speaker 1: opportunity to totally reinvent myself, to lean into human storytelling
Speaker 1: from my point of view as a woman now and um,
Speaker 1: and my character is incredible. What they write for me
Speaker 1: to do is like such a blessing. So I'm really
Speaker 1: enjoying the fact that I feel like I'm starting brand
Speaker 1: new and everything feels new and challenged in the most
Speaker 1: incredible way. And and and it's a fandom and it's
Speaker 1: like a whole other experience and I really love that.
Speaker 1: But the fun part is that when I meet the
Speaker 1: fans from the Walking Dead universe, they're like, I loved
Speaker 1: you and Darman Gregg so they have this Dharma and
Speaker 1: Greg love too. And they've accepted me into this you know,
Speaker 1: apocalyp post apocalyptic drama. And it's just that's been really
Speaker 1: cool and I feel so grateful. So who do you
Speaker 1: What do you hear most like from which place to
Speaker 1: people know? You know? Um, well, probably I get a
Speaker 1: lot of June from Fear the Walking Dead, but now
Speaker 1: it's a blend. They're like, oh, June, but I've always
Speaker 1: loved you since Starma, you know, um but you know
Speaker 1: Fear the Walking deads. I think Aims is one of
Speaker 1: their biggest international shows. Um so and Darmond Gregg was
Speaker 1: in every country. So that's just been a really nice
Speaker 1: um blend of bringing audiences together that that's been really
Speaker 1: really great and I it means so much to me
Speaker 1: when because with Fear the Walking Dead, it's so character
Speaker 1: driven and your characters go through so much, and the
Speaker 1: the fans really really lean in with their heart and
Speaker 1: soul into your character's journey and they feel the emotions
Speaker 1: you feel, they're right there with you. And so when
Speaker 1: you see people on the street and they and I
Speaker 1: love my character and I am so committed to my character,
Speaker 1: and I'm really into the Walking Dead universe and I
Speaker 1: love all of it. And so when they got June,
Speaker 1: I love, I love how you played that thing or
Speaker 1: that moment or oh my god, my heart broke for you,
Speaker 1: like they're invested, and I just find that so special
Speaker 1: and cool. And you, I mean, you want a Golden
Speaker 1: Globe and Emmy to Emmy nominations. So do you go
Speaker 1: to the award shows now? Have because this is all
Speaker 1: for Darman Gregg? Right, Yeah, that was for Dharmin Greg.
Speaker 1: I haven't been only because I started having my kids,
Speaker 1: and I really I find when I'm at work, as
Speaker 1: you know, as any working mother knows, when you're away
Speaker 1: from them, you feel you should be with them, and
Speaker 1: when you're with them, at after a certain point, you
Speaker 1: start longing for. It's raising children's very creative, but you
Speaker 1: long for also your own personal creative outlet. And so
Speaker 1: I just when I started having my kids, I didn't
Speaker 1: go to events unless it was directly connected to something
Speaker 1: I was doing, because I knew that when I am working,
Speaker 1: it's so hard being away from them. So when i'm not,
Speaker 1: I'm really with them. And even when I am working,
Speaker 1: I'm very much with them. They usually bring them with me.
Speaker 1: It's easier when they were a little younger, you know,
Speaker 1: you can just tote them around and stuff, but now
Speaker 1: they've got their lives and their friends, so I really
Speaker 1: take time off when I'm not working, I really am
Speaker 1: with them. Well, it's so funny because I was just
Speaker 1: wondering because I'm sure when you are going to the
Speaker 1: award shows and you were younger, I mean, there was
Speaker 1: an excitement, but there also must have been an angst
Speaker 1: about what do I look like? Do I look good enough?
Speaker 1: I don't know. You all worry about different things, like
Speaker 1: what did you worry about? And do you think you
Speaker 1: would still worry about the same things now? A hundred
Speaker 1: percent would not worry about the same things now, not
Speaker 1: even close zero. No, what I did worry about though?
Speaker 1: I had that and i've you know, had time to
Speaker 1: look back on all of that now, And it's funny,
Speaker 1: it's almost childlike your anxieties when you go to event
Speaker 1: press events because you're you know, when you're a kid
Speaker 1: in school, you don't want to get in well, if
Speaker 1: you're a good kid, you don't want to like get
Speaker 1: in trouble, and you want to please people, and you
Speaker 1: want to be accepted and you don't and you want
Speaker 1: to be admired and all of these like panicky, weird
Speaker 1: like why you know? And once you crossed the threshold
Speaker 1: for me anyway of like my late forties into fifties,
Speaker 1: I so understand the value of my own integrity based
Speaker 1: off of what I observed in my life and my
Speaker 1: own knowledge and knowing what I know has so much
Speaker 1: value to me and nobody can take it away or
Speaker 1: touch it, and it's gold and that to me, when
Speaker 1: I'm now on a red carpet or doing press, I
Speaker 1: am so in the pocket of my own experiential knowledge
Speaker 1: that I don't care what anyone thinks, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: not there to please anybody. Um there experience. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: are you dressed differently? Did you try to fit something?
Speaker 1: And now you just know what you are and what works? Yeah.
Speaker 1: I wanted to like be you know, sort of I
Speaker 1: want people to dig me, you know, And now like
Speaker 1: I totally don't care if they do. And I dress
Speaker 1: for what sparks joy and what I love or what
Speaker 1: just feels fun, just because it brightens my spirit, and
Speaker 1: that has so much value. I think you really start
Speaker 1: seeing what, what does, what's valuable, what is important? Like
Speaker 1: what actually is gold and what's fool's gold, you know,
Speaker 1: and getting approval from others as fool's gold. It's it
Speaker 1: has it does the next day, they're not there with you,
Speaker 1: nothing nothing they they're not there with you in the
Speaker 1: hard times. Impressing them has no long term meaningful value
Speaker 1: you because they're not there when life gets hard, and
Speaker 1: when life gets hard, you're there with your own abilities
Speaker 1: and your true friendships. And like, to me, that's the gold. Well,
Speaker 1: it's funny because the invitations fly in, you know, after
Speaker 1: COVID they fly in, and it's like, do I have
Speaker 1: to go get an outfit where I'm going to be
Speaker 1: uncomfortable and get my hair done, in my makeup and
Speaker 1: worry about it, or can I just go to my
Speaker 1: friend's house for dinner, you know, with wet hair and
Speaker 1: a ponytail. And it's like not even I don't think
Speaker 1: twice about it. Where I used to like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I should really be there. There's gonna be all these
Speaker 1: great people, and now I'm like I don't want to
Speaker 1: do it. You know. It's like to get me somewhere,
Speaker 1: it has to be like a value add for me personally.
Speaker 1: It's like I want to be with other women who
Speaker 1: are helping other women who are powerful and who are
Speaker 1: smart and not just you know, wearing a flower dress
Speaker 1: and twirling. So totally yeah, yes, yes, I feel like
Speaker 1: if there's you know, very interested in people, like I
Speaker 1: just think people are very interesting and um, you know,
Speaker 1: if it's an event where I feel like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: learn something or I'm going to have a great conversation,
Speaker 1: even if it's like a superficial fluff event. But if
Speaker 1: there's someone I know that's going to be there that
Speaker 1: I can like have a really great conversation with and
Speaker 1: like have a takeaway, especially like a great woman who
Speaker 1: I admire or something that I wouldn't have the opportunity
Speaker 1: to have that experience otherwise, then I'm like, yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: you know, like you said, where you can have a
Speaker 1: great conversation, there's a takeaway. It's it's it's an enhancement
Speaker 1: or can I you know, am I going to be
Speaker 1: speaking where I can maybe enhance someone else or inspire
Speaker 1: somebody to make the world better because I don't need
Speaker 1: the like green check mark of who wore it best?
Speaker 1: Like I. It's like, yeah, you also have a change
Speaker 1: ability to parent or joy and you also have this
Speaker 1: long term relationship marriage with your husband. Um and it's
Speaker 1: his real name Body, Yeah, born and raised Body. He
Speaker 1: had a very hippy mother, yea from like was he
Speaker 1: from like Colorado or something or a heart of Hollywood
Speaker 1: like sunset and conga. Wow? Okay, And and what are
Speaker 1: the you know, what are what are the challenges trying
Speaker 1: to like figure out, you know, how to make him
Speaker 1: happy and your kids happy and your career and forget
Speaker 1: about the fourth thing, which is you Like, I'm only
Speaker 1: asking because I understand it, but what are the challenges
Speaker 1: for you? Yeah? Uh, you know. A long time ago,
Speaker 1: I happen to read this article, this interview with Madonna
Speaker 1: and a fashion magazine, and it was long before I
Speaker 1: had kids, but she had kids and they were young
Speaker 1: at the time of this article, and I just this
Speaker 1: lodged in my mind. She she was just because she
Speaker 1: was asked the same question, like, how do you do
Speaker 1: it all? How are you Madonna and a mother? You know?
Speaker 1: And she said time management, and that just like stuck
Speaker 1: in my head. And I really really have become a
Speaker 1: big fan and user of time management. Uh. It's amazing
Speaker 1: what you can get done in a day if you're
Speaker 1: organized enough. Sometimes I had a protest about being too
Speaker 1: organized because it just felt unfun to me. And I'm
Speaker 1: much more fly by the seat of my pants if I, like,
Speaker 1: if I didn't have other people who like needed me
Speaker 1: to fulfill certain needs, I would just float through my
Speaker 1: days enjoying the spontaneity of life. That's my happy life.
Speaker 1: But there's too many things that need to be in harmony.
Speaker 1: So it's really It's taken me a long time to
Speaker 1: find my my best working practice for being organized, and
Speaker 1: it sounds really technical, but I'm going to share it
Speaker 1: here because I never know if there's another one. It
Speaker 1: took me forever to find a work system for me,
Speaker 1: and I finally found one. It's very administrative, though, but
Speaker 1: I finally figured out because I'd have like too many
Speaker 1: to do list because I wear so many hats, and
Speaker 1: I thought we'll have a to do list for each hat,
Speaker 1: and then it's like, well, that's way too many pads
Speaker 1: of paper. And so what I ended up doing is
Speaker 1: I made a preprinted daily form that has all my
Speaker 1: hats on it, all my areas of demand, which you know, um,
Speaker 1: from homeschooling my kids and their needs of doctor appointments
Speaker 1: and whatever, to my own podcast, to working on my
Speaker 1: own script, to my own doctor appointments, to exercise, et cetera, nutrition,
Speaker 1: And I have one big old to do list, and
Speaker 1: every day I pulled from the big to do list,
Speaker 1: and I have on those things, I have little time
Speaker 1: slots of when what time am I going to do
Speaker 1: this today? And I planned my days with this pre
Speaker 1: printed form with all of my things on it is
Speaker 1: because that's the only way I was getting it done. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but how can we access this form? Like where could
Speaker 1: you make this form? I have it on my UM
Speaker 1: I had and I printed out and it's my daily form,
Speaker 1: so mad itself. Yeah, just using pages app on my Wow,
Speaker 1: Well that is that is definitely something that you know,
Speaker 1: being an entrepreneur. I'm like, okay, we could, we could
Speaker 1: brand that, Jenna, we could definitely. Yeah. Yeah. But as
Speaker 1: I'm listening to all of this and I've you know,
Speaker 1: got my own things. What the person that made the
Speaker 1: biggest difference in me being a mom and trying to
Speaker 1: figure it all out and trying to be missed is perfect.
Speaker 1: I was on some panel with Tina Brown and someone
Speaker 1: asked her the question, how did you do it all
Speaker 1: while you were doing Vanity Fair and this and that?
Speaker 1: And she said, do you want to know? And everyone
Speaker 1: leaned in. She said it was a mess. The whole
Speaker 1: thing was a mess. It was a ship show, it
Speaker 1: was And we just all sat there with their mouth
Speaker 1: open because everyone always seemed like they had it all
Speaker 1: together and we didn't. And yeah, Bobby, tell people the truth.
Speaker 1: Some days we're good, some days were not good. So
Speaker 1: it's Oh yeah. Then some days that whole thing goes
Speaker 1: out the window because is one kid's got a headache
Speaker 1: and wants me to lay in bed with him and
Speaker 1: rub his temples. And I'm just like sitting there and
Speaker 1: you know, in inside, I'm like so happy because nothing
Speaker 1: makes me happier than just hanging out with my kids
Speaker 1: and like snuggling with them. And I'm so happy to
Speaker 1: throw the to do list out the window and set
Speaker 1: it on fire. Like you know, I only have that
Speaker 1: to do list. It does not bring me joy. It
Speaker 1: does not something I look forward to. It does not
Speaker 1: turn me on or light my fire. I hate being
Speaker 1: that organized. I hate it so much, but it's a
Speaker 1: necessity because too many things will fall by the wayside,
Speaker 1: and how many it is. But how do you homeschool
Speaker 1: the kids while you're like a TV movie star, like
Speaker 1: explain that to me. Yeah, my brain feels like it's
Speaker 1: bleeding sometimes, and uh, you know, hence the list, because
Speaker 1: I don't know how to do the workouts, focus on
Speaker 1: my what I'm eating, do my other podcast, prep the show,
Speaker 1: home school let alone, you know, dentist appointments and little
Speaker 1: um so I have checklist for the kids with all
Speaker 1: their subjects and I write out what they're doing that day. Uh,
Speaker 1: and then I go off to work and my assistant
Speaker 1: has been getting them through and then yeah, no I'm
Speaker 1: not working, I'm doing it. You know. If if I'm filming,
Speaker 1: she's doing it. My favorite part of the day was
Speaker 1: drop off. Yeah, let in the car, guys, come on,
Speaker 1: we gotta go all right. Yes, there is a bit
Speaker 1: of like it rolls off you when you get to
Speaker 1: put somebody else in charge for a few hours. So
Speaker 1: I know, so okay, there's so many like aspects of you.
Speaker 1: I want to hear about your podcast and you do
Speaker 1: that with your husband. Yeah. So we've been together thirty
Speaker 1: thirty one years something like that, and people always ask
Speaker 1: us how do you do it? Especially in Hollywood, you know,
Speaker 1: and we just go kicking and screaming because that is
Speaker 1: how we get through it pretty much. Um, we're best friends.
Speaker 1: But we just decided we had always wanted to do
Speaker 1: a scripted comedy about marriage because we feel like marriage
Speaker 1: is either represented in television and like ha ha ha
Speaker 1: cute sitcom or like marriage is the worst thing on
Speaker 1: earth single camera drama, and there's never been a show
Speaker 1: that like captures all of it, because relationships are all
Speaker 1: of it. It's all of it, as you know. And
Speaker 1: I had always just been on shows, and so we
Speaker 1: start a podcast to just start talking about the area
Speaker 1: and create material for writers for if we ultimately do
Speaker 1: a show, and it kind of got its own legs
Speaker 1: and people love it and we're just it's a humorous take.
Speaker 1: We talk about our own issues. We talked just about
Speaker 1: the politics of marriage, the double standards in a very conversational,
Speaker 1: humorous way, much like you and I are doing here.
Speaker 1: And is it where do we see it? Is it
Speaker 1: on What's Your Who's Who's? Yeah? I have it on
Speaker 1: my YouTube channel, the Jenna Elfman YouTube channel because we
Speaker 1: film it um. But you know, people can also listen
Speaker 1: wherever they listen to their podcasts, and it's called kicking
Speaker 1: and screaming. All right, I will and I will absolutely
Speaker 1: maybe my husband I will listen to it on the
Speaker 1: three hour drive back and forth from New Jersey, you know, yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1: And then the other I would really love to deep
Speaker 1: dive in is how do you take care of yourself? What?
Speaker 1: What is your nutrition, what's your exercise? What have you
Speaker 1: tried that didn't work? And what has made a difference. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel. You know, it's funny if you work on
Speaker 1: anything long enough, the things that don't work kind of
Speaker 1: start fall by the wayside, and there's those constants that
Speaker 1: always stay working. Um hydration is a mega one for me.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't drink. Maybe a couple of times
Speaker 1: a year. I have some wine, but I really don't drink.
Speaker 1: I notice it ages me so fast when I drink um.
Speaker 1: I know wine has got the antioxidants and whatever, but
Speaker 1: it im when I mean, it just ages my skin
Speaker 1: so fast, Like in a week, My skin changes if
Speaker 1: I have wine a couple of times a week. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: What do you do, like when you just need like
Speaker 1: a break? Are you? Are you? I go for you know, no,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't smoke cigarettes or weed. I did
Speaker 1: that when as a teenager, and I put smoking years
Speaker 1: ago for vanity reasons, because I started seeing the wrinkles
Speaker 1: around the mouth that you can't get rid of. So
Speaker 1: I stopped. I go for a walk and I look
Speaker 1: outwards and I get extroverted. Um, because you know, when
Speaker 1: you start getting stressed, you're super introverted. And so I
Speaker 1: find a good walk of looking outwards, not looking down
Speaker 1: at the ground, looking at my thoughts, but really genuinely
Speaker 1: looking at the world around me really helps bring my
Speaker 1: mood up if I get overstressed. Um. I also throughout
Speaker 1: the day, I found what really works for me is
Speaker 1: I take little ten minute breaks and I go away
Speaker 1: from everyone. I'll sit on the front porch or go
Speaker 1: sit out on the deck or wherever. If I'm at work,
Speaker 1: I just go away from people and I just walk
Speaker 1: or I said, I'll just scroll through my Instagram or
Speaker 1: do nothing, stare at a treat and I just shut off.
Speaker 1: I shut off all of my mental stress and I
Speaker 1: just I totally let myself just be in that moment um,
Speaker 1: and it keeps me really calibrated. I found I take
Speaker 1: these little ten minute breaks throughout the day mental Where
Speaker 1: did you learn this? Just? I craved it. I just
Speaker 1: found it worked for me. I just would find this
Speaker 1: need to to seclude, do you know, to go away
Speaker 1: from stimulus? Because I found, really with social media and smartphones,
Speaker 1: how much I think it's very insidious. What can happen
Speaker 1: to your bandwidth, your own you're scrolling from, whether it's
Speaker 1: news which I won't even look at anymore, um, Instagram, face, whatever,
Speaker 1: these things are that people look at on their phone,
Speaker 1: your mom, you're it's like re nine passion magazines today
Speaker 1: and newspapers and like all day long. It's weird if
Speaker 1: you think about what we're putting our attention on all
Speaker 1: the time. It's very dispersing because you'll look at something
Speaker 1: and then you close your phone, you walk away, and
Speaker 1: all those mental pictures are just stuck to your mind,
Speaker 1: you know, And so then you you're literally diluting your
Speaker 1: bandwidth and your reasoning power and your self calming power
Speaker 1: because half of it is spread out over these mental
Speaker 1: experiences you just had scrolling on your phone. But we
Speaker 1: don't realize it. It's really really insidious. So I I
Speaker 1: really spend a lot less time on my phone. Um
Speaker 1: because when you were saying, you know earlier, what do
Speaker 1: you miss? And I was talking about there's no social media.
Speaker 1: Back when I was doing GREG and like you know,
Speaker 1: the schedule, just living life, there was more of me
Speaker 1: totally present at any given time in any conversation. Working
Speaker 1: on my script was much more folks, This I wasn't
Speaker 1: constantly and then you know, read a few pages, then
Speaker 1: scrolling on my phone and read a few pages. There's
Speaker 1: a power to me of just doing what you are
Speaker 1: doing while you are doing it and not diluting it constantly.
Speaker 1: And it's like breaking up a pie into too many
Speaker 1: pieces that it falls apart. Right. So I think of
Speaker 1: myself and my own management of my mental attention kind
Speaker 1: of like a pie, and if you cut it in
Speaker 1: too many parts, it's just it's not viable. Like my
Speaker 1: my reasoning power, my solution thought process becomes less viable
Speaker 1: and potent when it's dispersed. So, uh, that's that's something
Speaker 1: I do and I that's one of the things that
Speaker 1: really works for me. How about the way you eat
Speaker 1: and nutrition? Because you say you put that on your list,
Speaker 1: So what is for you? Um, I'm not a Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. If it's just getting older,
Speaker 1: if it's logic, if it's motherhood. I can't like restrict
Speaker 1: myself so much. I don't know it's a pandemic. But
Speaker 1: I I'm not big for I can't starve myself. I
Speaker 1: can't do like minimal calories. I'm just like no, I
Speaker 1: like food. I like eating. I enjoy delicious things. It's
Speaker 1: one of the moments of joy throughout my days. Delicious
Speaker 1: food it's happiness. What have you eaten today? What have
Speaker 1: you eaten today? I had um some oatmeal at breakfast,
Speaker 1: and then for lunch, I had a huge bowl of
Speaker 1: steamed uh um cauliflower and boiled potatoes with olive oil
Speaker 1: and salt and pepper. And I have my protein shakes,
Speaker 1: and I like beans and rice and soups and sometimes meat,
Speaker 1: but not very often. I love tofu shakes and stir fries,
Speaker 1: and I you know, I'll have a bowl of pasta
Speaker 1: every now and then. I don't do lots of breads um,
Speaker 1: but I do. If my kids eating a sour dough
Speaker 1: toast and it looks amazing, I'm gonna have my sour
Speaker 1: dough toast. But I try to eat whole grains rather
Speaker 1: than processed foods. But then I also eat my chips
Speaker 1: if I'm at a baseball Yeah, I think. I think
Speaker 1: now it's called intuitive eating. Yeah, I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't over focus. There's just some common sense to it,
Speaker 1: you know. I think if you're eating a lot of
Speaker 1: like crap food, I mean, you know, just have your
Speaker 1: vegetables and just be have some common sense with what
Speaker 1: about ex um? I do treadmill and weight lifting, and uh,
Speaker 1: I have a row machine, so I do circuit training.
Speaker 1: I swim and tread water. That one I find is incredible.
Speaker 1: Luckily I have a pool so I can just hop
Speaker 1: in and do that. But treading water has been unbelievably
Speaker 1: toning for me. UM. I don't enjoy jogging very much.
Speaker 1: I don't like the high impact, but I can walk
Speaker 1: for hours and my body loves it. Um. And and
Speaker 1: you know sit ups and the road like I said,
Speaker 1: the row machine and lifting weights and you know a
Speaker 1: lot of that, like sort of cross fit. I suppose
Speaker 1: I really love pilates, but I don't find it very
Speaker 1: convenient to go out to a pilates place and do
Speaker 1: my lessons at this point in my life with filming
Speaker 1: and homeschooling and commuting and um. But pilates, especially with
Speaker 1: my ballet upbringing one pilates lesson changes my body. It's crazy,
Speaker 1: but I noticed not much. My body doesn't change as
Speaker 1: fast as it used to. Like I had a stomach
Speaker 1: bug recently. I think I may be consumed five hundred
Speaker 1: calories in three days. Like I could I couldn't eat.
Speaker 1: I had a fever like I don't know what it was,
Speaker 1: and I lost no weight. Wow, it was a bummer,
Speaker 1: you know, because usually that's the perk if you have
Speaker 1: to go through that kind of hell, at least you
Speaker 1: come out a couple of pounds lighter. And I got
Speaker 1: nothing out of it. It's like the metabolism totally changes
Speaker 1: at my age. It's it's I don't know how it
Speaker 1: is for you, but something ever, but you've never had
Speaker 1: a weight issue though, you've always been one of them. No,
Speaker 1: but like, yeah, I'm twenty pounds more than I normally
Speaker 1: am right now, No way, that's not even Well then
Speaker 1: maybe you were under but I, you know, gained probably
Speaker 1: about twelve to fifteen pounds during the pandemic and I
Speaker 1: have since lost it. So I have no choice but
Speaker 1: to just eat less healthy and healthy and good. But
Speaker 1: I have to. It's just it's it's honestly, there's no
Speaker 1: secret to weight loss. You just have to eat less
Speaker 1: than you are consuming. That's the you know. Unfortunately, that's
Speaker 1: it's a math problem. So it is just it really
Speaker 1: is and moving and you know, the body must move.
Speaker 1: It's not meant to sit around the body is You're
Speaker 1: rigged and created for motion. Yeah, and then just because
Speaker 1: I'm always very curious, like to have any favorite brands
Speaker 1: of jeans or T shirts, like like anything that you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, these are the best cotton underwear, the
Speaker 1: best cotton anything, like what do you what? What do
Speaker 1: you got? Yeah? Well, you know, I okay, so well
Speaker 1: I always were haiky panky and these because I just
Speaker 1: love them and they're super comfortable. Um, I've really gotten
Speaker 1: into Banana Republic. This jacket is Banana Republic and it's
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I just have to show you really fast.
Speaker 1: I know it's an audio podcast. How great is this?
Speaker 1: And they have like linen shirts that are just bitching
Speaker 1: for the hot humidity here in Austin. Um. Uh, I
Speaker 1: do a gold eagle e egle jeans. They always fit
Speaker 1: me great. Um, I have many a pair. Um. Then
Speaker 1: I switched between a couple of side is, depending on
Speaker 1: if I want a tighter fit or a boyfriend fit.
Speaker 1: Um and uh I wear notry T shirt bros. All
Speaker 1: Like that's all I just missed on a loop. That's
Speaker 1: what I get. Um, And I think that's I'm a
Speaker 1: jeans and T shirt kind of a girl, or sweaters
Speaker 1: and bags and boots in the fall and winter. I
Speaker 1: love just great jackets and coats and um boots, you know,
Speaker 1: but you're like, you're in Austin. When are you gonna
Speaker 1: wear them? Like, isn't it hot? Well, it does get wintry.
Speaker 1: We had that snow apocalypse here. Um it did get
Speaker 1: like six below with tons of snow for a week.
Speaker 1: It was crazy. That was an anomaly. But it does
Speaker 1: get cold in the winter here for a couple of months.
Speaker 1: But man, it is I do the kind of the
Speaker 1: only thing I miss about l A is the weather,
Speaker 1: the dry, beautiful sunshine. I'm going through this week and
Speaker 1: I'm really for my husband's birthday. We're just gonna go
Speaker 1: spend some time together. I don't think we've been away.
Speaker 1: We've been away once for a few days without the
Speaker 1: kids in fifteen years. Oh my god, that's crazy. Other
Speaker 1: than that a night, we've gone away for a night,
Speaker 1: but that's it. So we're going away for like five
Speaker 1: days for his birthday, just to go to Dodger games
Speaker 1: and see our friends. And um, I'm gonna go visit
Speaker 1: my mom and I'm really looking forward to that. You know,
Speaker 1: I think I don't let myself be away from my
Speaker 1: kids much because I don't you know, you always here's
Speaker 1: the thing for me as a mother, as I always
Speaker 1: hear women say, it's just crazy how fast it goes,
Speaker 1: and then one day you're like, where did it all go?
Speaker 1: How did it happen? Where was I? How did they
Speaker 1: grow up so fast? And they feel like they weren't
Speaker 1: there for it? But you work so hard as a
Speaker 1: mother that I don't want to have that, like that's
Speaker 1: my pay for working so hard is where did it go?
Speaker 1: I don't even know what happened. No, I want to
Speaker 1: remember everything that happened, and I'm gonna be there for it.
Speaker 1: So I don't really go away from my kids very
Speaker 1: much except for when I'm filming. Well, so I think
Speaker 1: this will be nice week. Well, you've given so many
Speaker 1: nuggets of advice to people listening, and I've written I've
Speaker 1: written many notes in my head. But I want to
Speaker 1: ask one last question for you that for the people listening,
Speaker 1: if you could tell them right now what they could
Speaker 1: do that's going to change something in their life according
Speaker 1: to you, what would it be? Um? I think it
Speaker 1: is too. It's an it's more of a daily discipline
Speaker 1: because I don't think there's a magic anything for anything.
Speaker 1: I think it's a discipline, which is to really be
Speaker 1: conscious about staying true to your own integrity, and the
Speaker 1: integrity is knowing what you yourself are observing at any
Speaker 1: given time and permitting yourself to know that that is
Speaker 1: what you are observing and to stage to it no
Speaker 1: matter what. And daily exercise. But I think we don't
Speaker 1: think we have the rights to our own minds and
Speaker 1: our own souls and our own hearts the way we
Speaker 1: actually do. And to take back that ownership over what
Speaker 1: you observe to be true for yourself as a daily exercise,
Speaker 1: I think is one of the most healthy and beneficial
Speaker 1: exercises to do. Well. Thank you so much, and um,
Speaker 1: it was really really, really really fun to connect with you.
Speaker 1: And I hope one day to go back to our
Speaker 1: past and do your makeup somewhere sometimes so I would
Speaker 1: love that so much. I would love in a new
Speaker 1: a new moment to address my face um as it
Speaker 1: is now. That would be really cool, all right, well,
Speaker 1: because keep being happy, all right, but I will. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening. Follow us on social the Important Things podcast
Speaker 1: on Instagram and just Bobby Brown on TikTok. See you
Speaker 1: guys next time.