WEBVTT - “MY PARENTS MARRIED ME OFF” 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:00.880 Hello, Hi. 0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:02.640 Hey, what's your name? 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:05.880 My name's Autumn, Autumn. 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:07.360 What's going on? Autumn? 0:00:08.080 --> 0:00:13.720 Hi? Hi? So I was just calling because my husband 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:19.040 watches you a lot, actually, and he's encouraged me to 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:21.840 call you all a couple of times just because my 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:27.280 life is pretty crazy. His not so much. But when 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:31.680 he hears mine, he's like, uh, maybe other people should 0:00:31.680 --> 0:00:32.080 hear that. 0:00:33.600 --> 0:00:39.239 Interesting? Interesting? Okay before I actually I want to hear 0:00:39.280 --> 0:00:42.120 about why your life is crazy. But I before we 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:44.879 do that, can I, why is your husband's life not crazy? 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:46.000 Like? 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:47.000 Can I? What's his deal? 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:53.680 He's actually like a really calm person. His family's really 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:58.120 calm people too. I Mean, I'm sure they had trouble 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:01.440 in the past and stuff, you know, like not my 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:05.319 business to the extent of like you know, what happened 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:10.560 before me, But they definitely am not like my family. 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:16.360 If I could emphasize that like my family, I'll get 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:22.880 into it. But they're a lot toned down versus that. 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:29.400 They're calm people. They believe in like loving their family, 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:33.720 things like that, like everybody sticks together us against the world, 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:46.720 My family wolves if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, where 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:48.200 where did you two grow up? 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:49.280 In different places? 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:54.600 We actually grew up down the road from each other, 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:56.280 but we didn't know it. 0:01:57.280 --> 0:02:01.279 Oh really, when did you? Yeah, when did you guys 0:02:01.600 --> 0:02:02.160 get together? 0:02:04.120 --> 0:02:08.640 Probably when I was like twenty three, so I had 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:13.440 a little bit of a world of difference because he 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:17.160 went to college things like that, and his family gave 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:20.560 him that room. But my family had me out at 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:24.240 sixteen because they thought I was old enough to take 0:02:24.280 --> 0:02:25.040 care of myself. 0:02:27.440 --> 0:02:30.240 And how did that work out for you when you 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:30.560 were six? 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:33.640 Rough? 0:02:34.320 --> 0:02:34.959 Yeah? Rough? 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:43.679 When I was sixteen, I was married into a family 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:49.560 that who really into church. Yes, we live in the 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:55.840 Appalachian region and church is a big thing. So they 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:59.200 married me off because they thought that was what was 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:04.480 best for me. And it didn't work out because he 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:06.880 was a grown man and I was a. 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:13.880 Child whoa So your family married you off when you 0:03:14.000 --> 0:03:17.320 were like they weren't like like they did. They kind 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:19.880 of like arranged marriage you. 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:28.080 Legally, you could say no, just because they kind of 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:33.840 went across the map of what is in the legalities 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:38.960 for our state. But essentially, yes, we had a family 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:42.560 down the road. There was a guy probably about seven 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:46.640 years older than me, and they married me off to him, 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:50.840 and the court allows it as long as you're sixteen, 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:54.920 and they married me off to him because they thought 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:57.520 that he would take care of me, and he was 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:01.320 in church and I had to follow by his rules. 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:05.640 So yeah, I guess. I guess in a sense, yes, 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:11.640 you could say it it is legal, but in another sense, 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:13.080 he could say that it shouldn't be. 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:20.040 And how long were you in that four. 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:27.760 Till I was eighteen? I was eighteen, and he knew 0:04:27.839 --> 0:04:30.719 that he was a really nice man, and he knew 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:33.760 that I didn't want that, and he let me go. 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:37.680 He was like, I don't think you really wanted to 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:40.960 be a part of this. He got me a car 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:45.640 and he gave me some money and was like, here, 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:48.160 I knew this was what you wanted. In lost and 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:49.760 he let me go. 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:52.480 And where'd you go? 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:58.960 Well, at first I went back to my family's house, 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:06.640 and that was hard. That was definitely hard because my 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:11.159 mom didn't take it well, and she was not really 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:14.599 religious or anything. I guess more so just wanted us 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:19.279 out of her house because she she really believed that 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:23.400 it was my job to take care of everything, and 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:27.880 I always had to be adult and I didn't care 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:33.760 to take on that responsibility until I guess, until I 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:36.120 was old enough to realize that I had other options, 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:43.600 and that's when the defiance began. I'd got a full 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:47.120 scholarship and stuff, and that was that was really hard 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:52.320 and she didn't want me to take it kind of 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:55.960 forced me in that situation. But I came back home. 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:02.280 She had thought on drugs really bad, and the next 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:05.720 thing I knew, probably after about two or three months, 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:11.279 the police were beating down theer door. And I was 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.560 still taking care of my siblings at the time, and 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:17.960 I'd done that the whole time that I was married off. 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:22.559 So the police came at our door, busted it down, 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:27.240 and we all had to go outside. And I never 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:29.720 experienced anything like that because I was kind of bounced 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:32.880 around a lot as a kid until my grandparents died, 0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:37.240 and then when I moved back home with my mom, 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:39.280 you know, it kind of evened out, so I didn't 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:46.039 really expect it. She, I guess, had a wild space. 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:50.120 So we all had to get escorted outside of the 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:53.560 house by the police, and I didn't know what was 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:59.320 going on. I was only eighteen at the time. My husband, 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:03.400 he thought that I could handle what life had to 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:06.600 give me, and he knew that I didn't want to 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:09.480 be in that situation. I didn't know I was walking 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:16.080 back into a situation way worse. But I remember police 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:21.040 holding guns and stuff, and I didn't know what was 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:24.280 going on. After the whole event, they told us that 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:26.920 my mom had called and said nine people were holding 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:30.800 her hostage with guns or something like that. It's kind 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:34.280 of traumatic. I'm sorry, I guess trembly talking about it. 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:37.560 But there's a reason my husband thought that it would 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:40.640 be cool for me to call. So I don't usually 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:45.560 talk about this with other people. I promised that, like, 0:07:46.080 --> 0:07:49.480 I'll get through the story, it just it might take 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:50.280 me a second. 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:56.440 Your life is you certainly delivered upon the premise that 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:58.240 your life was crazy? Absolutely? 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:00.800 Yeah. 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:02.880 Well before we go, let me ask you this, because 0:08:02.920 --> 0:08:08.400 you said your husband wanted you to call in. Uh, 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:16.640 how do you feel telling this story brave? 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:24.200 Oh? I'm so sorry. I never realized that it was 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:29.840 a brave story, if that makes sense. Like I grew 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:33.560 up and I wanted to be a cop, so I 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:38.720 went into that film. I just didn't want kids to 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:42.760 experience what I experienced growing up. And there's a lot of backstory, 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:48.920 of course, but like I just always wanted to be brave. 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:52.800 For everybody else. And I knew that I was that 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:59.480 for my siblings and stuff. I didn't know that I 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:03.559 could I could have that vulnerability, if that makes sense. 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:13.120 So when me and my husband talked about it and stuff, 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:17.680 he listens to you all all the time. I just 0:09:17.720 --> 0:09:21.040 didn't know that there'd be people that would listen to it, 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:23.600 if that makes sense. Like, you know, you you tell 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:28.040 a crazy story, people don't People don't always register it. 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:32.840 Like if you tell a story to your friends that 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:36.200 know your life, they're like, oh, yeah, I could see that. 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:42.400 I never realized that there was an outside viewer that 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:46.839 that would hear that and be like oh my gosh, wow, 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:51.160 like or that's that's crazy, like that that didn't happen, 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:53.679 you know. And so I was always president to always 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:58.760 tell my story. But I grew up wanting to be 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:03.160 a cop. So that's the field of for food and 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:07.880 just thinking I can make a change. But life happens, 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:11.640 and sometimes things happen to you, especially when they really 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:20.280 live in that you don't realize. I guess how your 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:25.720 storyline the miniscule in comparison, and so sharing it don't 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:30.240 feel like it's worth it, if that makes sense. But 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:33.480 my husband. He'll hear me talk sometimes, especially if you 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:38.240 have a few margarita's or anything like that, and he 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:42.040 was like, you need to you need to tell people this, 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:48.640 like you really really do. Like so, I guess that 0:10:48.800 --> 0:10:52.320 encouraged me a lot, just hearing him talk to me 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:55.040 about it and tell me like, hey, you need to 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:56.480 maybe open up. 0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:00.520 So so listen, I mean, if you want to. If 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:02.319 you do, you want to continue, Do you want to 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:05.520 keep talking about it? Yeah? 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:09.080 Sure, Like I've been keeping up with you for a minute. Alright, cool, 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:11.240 trying to catch you live. 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:17.760 So tell you so, okay, sorry, So so you're you're eighteen, 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:22.679 the house gets raided, your mom goes off a little bit, 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:26.079 and uh what happens after that? Where do you go? 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:35.599 So the story is way crazy or I'm sorry. 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:36.960 Go ahead, man, go ahead. 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:46.959 So rode off the rip. I am baffled. I remember 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:50.880 the police escorting us out of the house. Everybody is 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.439 getting it, Todd. I didn't know what was going on. 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:58.560 I had no idea my siblings they were children at 0:11:58.600 --> 0:12:01.280 the time. I was eighteen, so my siblings at the 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:05.000 time were not They were way younger than me, and 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:09.000 my stepdad at the time didn't know what was going 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:11.920 on either. Turns out my mom and had been having 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:16.080 a secret affair with our neighbors down the road. I 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:22.080 guess they're going on with some polyamorous stuff kind of ordeal. 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:27.640 Not that I'm judging or anything, just that's what was occurring. 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:35.640 And so we get notified that they're involved, and the 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:38.560 police are arresting kind of like a couple of people, 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:42.600 and my stepdad still has no idea what's going on. 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:47.320 The cop, though at the time we lived in a 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:52.840 really small country area, was talking to me about it 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:55.200 and he was like, Hey, I'm just wanting to let 0:12:55.240 --> 0:12:59.839 you know what's going on, and he ends up telling 0:12:59.880 --> 0:13:02.319 me a little bit more than he should have. Whatever. 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:07.760 A couple of people get arrested, my mom's friends, the 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:14.880 one she was engaging them fair with, and they go 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:19.000 to jail. My mom doesn't go to jail, surprisingly, even 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:21.920 though she's high, and she ends up admitting that it 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:27.400 was meant so the next day, whatever life goes on, 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:31.400 she's pretending like nothing happened. And that's kind of a 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.199 thing with her, like it's always been a thing with her, 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:38.960 is that when she does these crazy things, she pretends 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:42.800 like it didn't happen, and those things had occurred once 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:46.720 before twice before in my childhood when I lived with 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:50.800 her before she married me off, and I was kind 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:54.920 of numb to it, if that makes sense. She'd always 0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:59.040 been pretty out there and done crazy things like holding 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:01.480 guns to her head and stuff. You know, we live 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:05.120 in the South. That's a pretty common thing, having access 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:08.360 to those things, but it's not a pretty common thing 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:11.120 to have your parent hold a gun to their head 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:15.360 or anything like that. So it was kind of traumatic. 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:20.040 But you know, you don't know the definition of traumatic 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:24.480 at that point in time, Like you're like, I mean, 0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:27.160 maybe I was just a traumatized I just didn't know. 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:31.920 But like at fifteen years old, seeing my mom hooker 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:34.760 a gun to her head, I just was like, this 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:39.320 is normal, okay, like the same, like the worst thing 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:43.680 I've seen, and so I just went about my day. 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:48.280 So to to me at eighteen, this happening, I was like, 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:52.040 this is fucked, because oh I'm sorry for cussing. 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:56.000 I don't say whatever. You can say whatever you want, 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:58.200 go ahead, okay, cool. 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:02.440 So I was like, this fucks for this happening, But 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:08.360 like I didn't know that it was out of the 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:11.840 realms of other people's lives because I still hadn't had 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:14.720 friends or anything like that. I had one best friend 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:19.840 through high school that knew my life. Yeah, and when 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:21.440 you when you were so scared? 0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:25.960 So okay, So when you were eighteen, do you you 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:27.720 didn't have any friends up up at that. 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:33.400 Point, not too many like people. I had had acquaintances, 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:36.359 but I was really scared to make friends. 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.760 Were you you were you were like, were you like 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:40.280 going to public high school? 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:42.960 Yes? Yes? Yeah? 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:45.400 Okay, and so what were Yeah what was it like 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:49.360 for you like in school? And why were you afraid 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:52.840 to make friends? 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:57.320 So when I was younger, I tried to have friends, 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:01.280 but I didn't, you know, like how you talk about 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:04.240 your life when you're a kid and you tell your 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:07.320 friends what's going on, Like you're like, my family's doing that. 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:09.800 Yeah. 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:13.960 Yeah. A lot of them, once they heard what my 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:16.520 family was doing, wouldn't let me hang out with their 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:22.640 kids anymore, or the vice versa of if they did 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:28.320 hear it, they got so overly concerned that it would 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:33.600 scare me. Because my mom was always she was the 0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:36.760 best way to explain it is and I hate to 0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:39.720 compare it to this, but like a dictator, like if 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:44.920 you told anybody what was going on, you basically got 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:48.960 punished at the max, Like like there was this one 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:52.200 time I didn't understand what cheating was, and she was 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:55.760 cheating on her husband and I was going to church 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:57.400 at the time. I was a kid. We lived in 0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:01.560 the Bible Belt. I had accidentally told on her for cheating. 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:05.040 And when I say accidentally, it truly was an accident. 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:08.760 I was thirteen years old. My grandparents raised me, so 0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:11.600 I didn't know no better, Like my grandparents were really 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:16.320 about religion. And my grandpa had asked me if someone 0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:19.320 had been coming over to our house and I just 0:17:19.400 --> 0:17:22.639 told him, yeah. I didn't want to lie, because he 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:27.720 told me lying was thee him in that moment, thirteen 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:30.760 years old, you don't really think before you speak here 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:33.720 anything like that, and she lockt me in the room 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:39.160 for three days with no food or anything. Oh yeah, 0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:44.040 it really scared me. So you kind of learned how 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:47.919 to what your peas and hughes of what to do 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:50.400 and what not to do. And I didn't know this 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:55.679 wasn't normal for the most part, Like honestly, I thought 0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:59.840 this was how life was until I was way older, 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:04.280 Like I had no idea. And that's why my husband's 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:08.200 always like Autumn, like you need to you need to 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:12.840 just maybe talk about it, like let it out something. 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:16.600 But like to me that that was how life was 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:19.600 like that that was my in and out like I 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:23.160 didn't I didn't know, like I didn't know other kids 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:25.240 didn't go through that, So I thought it was normal 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:29.760 to talk talk about and then I realized it wasn't. 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:33.879 So it made me watch who my friends were. I 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:36.800 got scared, like who would tell the guy it's counselor 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:39.199 and if it would get back to my mom and 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:43.800 if she'd punish me, And those were always my fears, 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:46.639 like if she would punish me like I was. I 0:18:46.720 --> 0:18:49.320 was just scared, and it made me so scared to 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:53.720 do anything wrong like I was. I was terrified of it. 0:18:54.760 --> 0:19:00.040 M So, man, all right, so you're eighteen, and you 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:03.639 you don't even have like much of a network outside 0:19:03.680 --> 0:19:08.560 of your immediate family at this point to even really 0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:12.680 give you, as you're saying, much of a reference as 0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:15.520 to what is normal, like I like, because you know, 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:18.119 even like the ability to like go over to a 0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:22.440 friend's house and like just just just get any bit 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:25.520 of a fucking idea of like what life is like 0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:31.879 outside of your your own you know, is like tough 0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:34.439 when you're in that when you're in that situation, so 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:37.760 it becomes like, yeah, you start to believe like, oh, 0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:40.720 this is just how shit is. Yeah, that makes a 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:44.960 lot of sense when when you're eighteen and the cops 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:51.440 come and shit, where where do you go after that? 0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:51.600 Like? 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:53.840 I guess, how did you? Cause I know you you 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:55.920 kind of well how old are you now? By the way, 0:19:56.160 --> 0:20:00.960 if you don't mind me asking? Okay, all right, so 0:20:03.840 --> 0:20:11.200 from eighteen, what's the story of Like, like, I guess, 0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:13.840 so did the police they arrested? They arrested your mom? 0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:19.080 Right? No, Actually, we live in such a small town 0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:23.200 that it turns out that my mom knew the officer 0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:30.560 and yeah, they were like, hey, what's going on. Ended 0:20:30.600 --> 0:20:33.120 up the people she was having an affair with had 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:37.639 a myth lab so she she told on them for 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:41.840 having that and they ended up getting arrested. And I 0:20:41.880 --> 0:20:46.400 don't know what the technicalities of it were or anything 0:20:46.480 --> 0:20:49.119 like that, but they lived down the road work where 0:20:49.160 --> 0:20:52.280 we were like at the time, and they were related 0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:56.600 to my fip dad and my stepdad. Total who knows, 0:20:56.800 --> 0:20:59.680 like I was, I was only eighteen at the time. 0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:03.520 I did and understand, you know, how connections work or 0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:05.679 anything like that, So I don't I don't know the 0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:08.200 ins and outs of it, but I knew she didn't 0:21:08.200 --> 0:21:10.760 get in trouble because she got to stay home and 0:21:10.800 --> 0:21:13.639 they got arrested. So much. 0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:16.359 How much longer did you live with her at the house? 0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:22.720 Probably three days? So after the second day, she had 0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:27.240 threaten to shoot my brother at the time, who was twelve. 0:21:28.680 --> 0:21:31.080 She had told him that I took you into this 0:21:31.200 --> 0:21:34.520 world and I'll bring you out. And I remember hearing that. 0:21:34.800 --> 0:21:37.440 I was just like, I can't with this no more, 0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:40.520 like you know, like I took care of my siblings 0:21:40.560 --> 0:21:44.040 all my life. Like in my head, I was like, 0:21:44.119 --> 0:21:48.800 these are my kids. It just it done something to me, 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:53.120 and I was like, I can't anymore. So I remember 0:21:53.359 --> 0:21:56.760 packing at the time, and this probably something so silly, 0:21:57.480 --> 0:22:00.640 but I packed my I had like a Peer three 0:22:01.080 --> 0:22:05.560 and a couple other devices and not many things, you know, 0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:09.439 because I just came back home. I packed it in 0:22:09.440 --> 0:22:13.040 my car. And I'd got my first job because like 0:22:13.080 --> 0:22:16.160 I said, I was married off at sixteen, and he 0:22:16.200 --> 0:22:20.240 didn't believe in a woman working or anything. So i'd 0:22:20.280 --> 0:22:25.800 got a job. I was at my point of I'm 0:22:25.840 --> 0:22:27.880 going to do this like I'm going to figure it out. 0:22:28.160 --> 0:22:31.159 So I got a job, and I was going to 0:22:31.240 --> 0:22:34.040 figure it out like that was my mindset. So I 0:22:33.920 --> 0:22:37.600 I sall my stuff in my car, I ran off. 0:22:38.680 --> 0:22:40.959 I slept a couple of days in a Walmart parking 0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:43.399 lot with all my stuff in my car, going to 0:22:43.440 --> 0:22:47.600 work the next day. And then my best friend from 0:22:47.680 --> 0:22:51.240 high school, the one singular friend I did have, I 0:22:52.000 --> 0:22:54.720 was like, hey, do you want a roommate? Like, we'll 0:22:54.720 --> 0:22:57.360 find a place. And I started looking at the newspaper 0:22:57.400 --> 0:23:00.960 and I found a place quickly, and God just wanted 0:23:01.000 --> 0:23:03.880 a four hundred and fifty dollars down post. I was like, hey, 0:23:03.960 --> 0:23:08.400 that's nothing. And we did that and I went from 0:23:08.400 --> 0:23:09.400 there and got that. 0:23:13.600 --> 0:23:15.920 And what's going on? How many siblings do you have? 0:23:18.720 --> 0:23:22.720 So I have three that I know of, but I 0:23:22.880 --> 0:23:26.840 don't know my biological dad that well. So when we 0:23:26.920 --> 0:23:31.399 did a twenty three or whatever DNA test, it popped 0:23:31.480 --> 0:23:34.159 up a couple. I got to meet two of my 0:23:34.359 --> 0:23:38.560 dad's children. They said, we have men, but I don't. 0:23:38.760 --> 0:23:41.360 I don't know, and I've never really met them. But 0:23:41.400 --> 0:23:42.200 by my mom. 0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:50.600 I had two that I got to know, and so, okay, 0:23:50.640 --> 0:23:52.560 so you're living with your friends, you found a four 0:23:52.640 --> 0:23:58.360 hundred and fifty dollars, you found an apartment you can afford, 0:23:59.600 --> 0:24:03.760 and and you know what's going on? Yeah, I guess. 0:24:03.920 --> 0:24:06.399 So that must have been really difficult because it's like, 0:24:06.440 --> 0:24:09.160 what's going on with your siblings at the time, because 0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:11.199 it's like, you got it's hard enough to fucking like 0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:14.840 be able to like fend for yourself in that situation. 0:24:15.000 --> 0:24:16.720 Are you Are you still at this time, like keeping 0:24:16.720 --> 0:24:20.520 contact with your siblings and stuff? Yeah? 0:24:20.640 --> 0:24:27.720 I am so. At the time I was messaging them 0:24:27.760 --> 0:24:33.280 and stuff, and I had got ahold of my youngest sibling, Kyla. 0:24:35.440 --> 0:24:38.359 She had told me like what was going on stuff 0:24:38.359 --> 0:24:40.800 like that, and how hard she's dealing with it. My 0:24:40.920 --> 0:24:44.960 middle sibling, she had dealt with my mom a law 0:24:45.320 --> 0:24:48.679 and was kind of close to my mom. We didn't 0:24:48.680 --> 0:24:52.760 know about what triangulation was, so we had went to 0:24:52.840 --> 0:24:55.840 therapy a couple of piunds each of us, but I 0:24:56.000 --> 0:25:00.119 went to therapy the most. So we learned about what 0:25:00.160 --> 0:25:05.040 triangulation was, and it's called her it. Basically, the epitony 0:25:05.119 --> 0:25:10.040 of it is hitting your siblings against each other for 0:25:10.160 --> 0:25:14.280 whatever benefit it is for the parents and who. So 0:25:14.320 --> 0:25:20.439 at the time they were my mom was triangulating for 0:25:20.480 --> 0:25:23.439 a minute. It didn't happen long because she kind of 0:25:23.480 --> 0:25:28.200 realized that I was her financial gain and stuff. But 0:25:28.400 --> 0:25:32.240 she was like your older sisters, she's she left us. 0:25:32.440 --> 0:25:34.760 Look what she did. She left us, and she left 0:25:34.760 --> 0:25:37.879 you all here alone. And so my younger sibling was 0:25:37.880 --> 0:25:41.320 telling me this, and that kind of distressed me because 0:25:42.440 --> 0:25:44.159 I was the one that would get them up for 0:25:44.200 --> 0:25:46.800 the school bus and get them ready for school, get 0:25:46.800 --> 0:25:50.120 them off the school bus and all that stuff. So 0:25:50.240 --> 0:25:55.840 I didn't really understand what was going on at times. So, like, 0:25:56.440 --> 0:25:58.120 you know, it distressed me because I was like, how 0:25:58.200 --> 0:26:01.000 there she talked bad about me after all that she did, 0:26:01.200 --> 0:26:07.280 and I didn't know what was going on in reality, 0:26:08.480 --> 0:26:11.439 but from what I was seeing at that point and 0:26:11.480 --> 0:26:15.320 at that time, was that she was talking awful about me. 0:26:16.760 --> 0:26:20.359 But that eventually died when she realized that I would 0:26:20.400 --> 0:26:23.240 be the one that would be taking care of my 0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:30.880 siblings and stuff. But sorry, he's just her my husband. 0:26:31.160 --> 0:26:33.080 Oh yeah, is that your husband saying what's up? 0:26:34.640 --> 0:26:38.760 Is it okay? If you gives a little shout out sure. Yeah, 0:26:39.840 --> 0:26:42.080 he has to go to work, so I'm sorry I've 0:26:42.200 --> 0:26:44.280 been talking while he's been asleep for work. 0:26:46.920 --> 0:26:47.120 Man. 0:26:47.160 --> 0:26:50.280 I've been listening to your podcast for like I don't 0:26:50.280 --> 0:26:52.199 want to say, like four or five months now, but 0:26:52.240 --> 0:26:54.439