Speaker 1: Hello, Hi.
Speaker 2: Hey, what's your name?
Speaker 1: My name's Autumn, Autumn.
Speaker 2: What's going on? Autumn?
Speaker 1: Hi? Hi? So I was just calling because my husband
Speaker 1: watches you a lot, actually, and he's encouraged me to
Speaker 1: call you all a couple of times just because my
Speaker 1: life is pretty crazy. His not so much. But when
Speaker 1: he hears mine, he's like, uh, maybe other people should
Speaker 1: hear that.
Speaker 2: Interesting? Interesting? Okay before I actually I want to hear
Speaker 2: about why your life is crazy. But I before we
Speaker 2: do that, can I, why is your husband's life not crazy?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Can I? What's his deal?
Speaker 1: He's actually like a really calm person. His family's really
Speaker 1: calm people too. I Mean, I'm sure they had trouble
Speaker 1: in the past and stuff, you know, like not my
Speaker 1: business to the extent of like you know, what happened
Speaker 1: before me, But they definitely am not like my family.
Speaker 1: If I could emphasize that like my family, I'll get
Speaker 1: into it. But they're a lot toned down versus that.
Speaker 1: They're calm people. They believe in like loving their family,
Speaker 1: things like that, like everybody sticks together us against the world,
Speaker 1: My family wolves if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, where
Speaker 1: where did you two grow up?
Speaker 2: In different places?
Speaker 1: We actually grew up down the road from each other,
Speaker 1: but we didn't know it.
Speaker 2: Oh really, when did you? Yeah, when did you guys
Speaker 2: get together?
Speaker 1: Probably when I was like twenty three, so I had
Speaker 1: a little bit of a world of difference because he
Speaker 1: went to college things like that, and his family gave
Speaker 1: him that room. But my family had me out at
Speaker 1: sixteen because they thought I was old enough to take
Speaker 1: care of myself.
Speaker 2: And how did that work out for you when you
Speaker 2: were six?
Speaker 1: Rough?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Rough?
Speaker 1: When I was sixteen, I was married into a family
Speaker 1: that who really into church. Yes, we live in the
Speaker 1: Appalachian region and church is a big thing. So they
Speaker 1: married me off because they thought that was what was
Speaker 1: best for me. And it didn't work out because he
Speaker 1: was a grown man and I was a.
Speaker 2: Child whoa So your family married you off when you
Speaker 2: were like they weren't like like they did. They kind
Speaker 2: of like arranged marriage you.
Speaker 1: Legally, you could say no, just because they kind of
Speaker 1: went across the map of what is in the legalities
Speaker 1: for our state. But essentially, yes, we had a family
Speaker 1: down the road. There was a guy probably about seven
Speaker 1: years older than me, and they married me off to him,
Speaker 1: and the court allows it as long as you're sixteen,
Speaker 1: and they married me off to him because they thought
Speaker 1: that he would take care of me, and he was
Speaker 1: in church and I had to follow by his rules.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I guess. I guess in a sense, yes,
Speaker 1: you could say it it is legal, but in another sense,
Speaker 1: he could say that it shouldn't be.
Speaker 2: And how long were you in that four.
Speaker 1: Till I was eighteen? I was eighteen, and he knew
Speaker 1: that he was a really nice man, and he knew
Speaker 1: that I didn't want that, and he let me go.
Speaker 1: He was like, I don't think you really wanted to
Speaker 1: be a part of this. He got me a car
Speaker 1: and he gave me some money and was like, here,
Speaker 1: I knew this was what you wanted. In lost and
Speaker 1: he let me go.
Speaker 2: And where'd you go?
Speaker 1: Well, at first I went back to my family's house,
Speaker 1: and that was hard. That was definitely hard because my
Speaker 1: mom didn't take it well, and she was not really
Speaker 1: religious or anything. I guess more so just wanted us
Speaker 1: out of her house because she she really believed that
Speaker 1: it was my job to take care of everything, and
Speaker 1: I always had to be adult and I didn't care
Speaker 1: to take on that responsibility until I guess, until I
Speaker 1: was old enough to realize that I had other options,
Speaker 1: and that's when the defiance began. I'd got a full
Speaker 1: scholarship and stuff, and that was that was really hard
Speaker 1: and she didn't want me to take it kind of
Speaker 1: forced me in that situation. But I came back home.
Speaker 1: She had thought on drugs really bad, and the next
Speaker 1: thing I knew, probably after about two or three months,
Speaker 1: the police were beating down theer door. And I was
Speaker 1: still taking care of my siblings at the time, and
Speaker 1: I'd done that the whole time that I was married off.
Speaker 1: So the police came at our door, busted it down,
Speaker 1: and we all had to go outside. And I never
Speaker 1: experienced anything like that because I was kind of bounced
Speaker 1: around a lot as a kid until my grandparents died,
Speaker 1: and then when I moved back home with my mom,
Speaker 1: you know, it kind of evened out, so I didn't
Speaker 1: really expect it. She, I guess, had a wild space.
Speaker 1: So we all had to get escorted outside of the
Speaker 1: house by the police, and I didn't know what was
Speaker 1: going on. I was only eighteen at the time. My husband,
Speaker 1: he thought that I could handle what life had to
Speaker 1: give me, and he knew that I didn't want to
Speaker 1: be in that situation. I didn't know I was walking
Speaker 1: back into a situation way worse. But I remember police
Speaker 1: holding guns and stuff, and I didn't know what was
Speaker 1: going on. After the whole event, they told us that
Speaker 1: my mom had called and said nine people were holding
Speaker 1: her hostage with guns or something like that. It's kind
Speaker 1: of traumatic. I'm sorry, I guess trembly talking about it.
Speaker 1: But there's a reason my husband thought that it would
Speaker 1: be cool for me to call. So I don't usually
Speaker 1: talk about this with other people. I promised that, like,
Speaker 1: I'll get through the story, it just it might take
Speaker 1: me a second.
Speaker 2: Your life is you certainly delivered upon the premise that
Speaker 2: your life was crazy? Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well before we go, let me ask you this, because
Speaker 2: you said your husband wanted you to call in. Uh,
Speaker 2: how do you feel telling this story brave?
Speaker 1: Oh? I'm so sorry. I never realized that it was
Speaker 1: a brave story, if that makes sense. Like I grew
Speaker 1: up and I wanted to be a cop, so I
Speaker 1: went into that film. I just didn't want kids to
Speaker 1: experience what I experienced growing up. And there's a lot of backstory,
Speaker 1: of course, but like I just always wanted to be brave.
Speaker 1: For everybody else. And I knew that I was that
Speaker 1: for my siblings and stuff. I didn't know that I
Speaker 1: could I could have that vulnerability, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: So when me and my husband talked about it and stuff,
Speaker 1: he listens to you all all the time. I just
Speaker 1: didn't know that there'd be people that would listen to it,
Speaker 1: if that makes sense. Like, you know, you you tell
Speaker 1: a crazy story, people don't People don't always register it.
Speaker 1: Like if you tell a story to your friends that
Speaker 1: know your life, they're like, oh, yeah, I could see that.
Speaker 1: I never realized that there was an outside viewer that
Speaker 1: that would hear that and be like oh my gosh, wow,
Speaker 1: like or that's that's crazy, like that that didn't happen,
Speaker 1: you know. And so I was always president to always
Speaker 1: tell my story. But I grew up wanting to be
Speaker 1: a cop. So that's the field of for food and
Speaker 1: just thinking I can make a change. But life happens,
Speaker 1: and sometimes things happen to you, especially when they really
Speaker 1: live in that you don't realize. I guess how your
Speaker 1: storyline the miniscule in comparison, and so sharing it don't
Speaker 1: feel like it's worth it, if that makes sense. But
Speaker 1: my husband. He'll hear me talk sometimes, especially if you
Speaker 1: have a few margarita's or anything like that, and he
Speaker 1: was like, you need to you need to tell people this,
Speaker 1: like you really really do. Like so, I guess that
Speaker 1: encouraged me a lot, just hearing him talk to me
Speaker 1: about it and tell me like, hey, you need to
Speaker 1: maybe open up.
Speaker 2: So so listen, I mean, if you want to. If
Speaker 2: you do, you want to continue, Do you want to
Speaker 2: keep talking about it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sure, Like I've been keeping up with you for a minute. Alright, cool,
Speaker 1: trying to catch you live.
Speaker 2: So tell you so, okay, sorry, So so you're you're eighteen,
Speaker 2: the house gets raided, your mom goes off a little bit,
Speaker 2: and uh what happens after that? Where do you go?
Speaker 1: So the story is way crazy or I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, man, go ahead.
Speaker 1: So rode off the rip. I am baffled. I remember
Speaker 1: the police escorting us out of the house. Everybody is
Speaker 1: getting it, Todd. I didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 1: I had no idea my siblings they were children at
Speaker 1: the time. I was eighteen, so my siblings at the
Speaker 1: time were not They were way younger than me, and
Speaker 1: my stepdad at the time didn't know what was going
Speaker 1: on either. Turns out my mom and had been having
Speaker 1: a secret affair with our neighbors down the road. I
Speaker 1: guess they're going on with some polyamorous stuff kind of ordeal.
Speaker 1: Not that I'm judging or anything, just that's what was occurring.
Speaker 1: And so we get notified that they're involved, and the
Speaker 1: police are arresting kind of like a couple of people,
Speaker 1: and my stepdad still has no idea what's going on.
Speaker 1: The cop, though at the time we lived in a
Speaker 1: really small country area, was talking to me about it
Speaker 1: and he was like, Hey, I'm just wanting to let
Speaker 1: you know what's going on, and he ends up telling
Speaker 1: me a little bit more than he should have. Whatever.
Speaker 1: A couple of people get arrested, my mom's friends, the
Speaker 1: one she was engaging them fair with, and they go
Speaker 1: to jail. My mom doesn't go to jail, surprisingly, even
Speaker 1: though she's high, and she ends up admitting that it
Speaker 1: was meant so the next day, whatever life goes on,
Speaker 1: she's pretending like nothing happened. And that's kind of a
Speaker 1: thing with her, like it's always been a thing with her,
Speaker 1: is that when she does these crazy things, she pretends
Speaker 1: like it didn't happen, and those things had occurred once
Speaker 1: before twice before in my childhood when I lived with
Speaker 1: her before she married me off, and I was kind
Speaker 1: of numb to it, if that makes sense. She'd always
Speaker 1: been pretty out there and done crazy things like holding
Speaker 1: guns to her head and stuff. You know, we live
Speaker 1: in the South. That's a pretty common thing, having access
Speaker 1: to those things, but it's not a pretty common thing
Speaker 1: to have your parent hold a gun to their head
Speaker 1: or anything like that. So it was kind of traumatic.
Speaker 1: But you know, you don't know the definition of traumatic
Speaker 1: at that point in time, Like you're like, I mean,
Speaker 1: maybe I was just a traumatized I just didn't know.
Speaker 1: But like at fifteen years old, seeing my mom hooker
Speaker 1: a gun to her head, I just was like, this
Speaker 1: is normal, okay, like the same, like the worst thing
Speaker 1: I've seen, and so I just went about my day.
Speaker 1: So to to me at eighteen, this happening, I was like,
Speaker 1: this is fucked, because oh I'm sorry for cussing.
Speaker 2: I don't say whatever. You can say whatever you want,
Speaker 2: go ahead, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: So I was like, this fucks for this happening, But
Speaker 1: like I didn't know that it was out of the
Speaker 1: realms of other people's lives because I still hadn't had
Speaker 1: friends or anything like that. I had one best friend
Speaker 1: through high school that knew my life. Yeah, and when
Speaker 1: you when you were so scared?
Speaker 2: So okay, So when you were eighteen, do you you
Speaker 2: didn't have any friends up up at that.
Speaker 1: Point, not too many like people. I had had acquaintances,
Speaker 1: but I was really scared to make friends.
Speaker 2: Were you you were you were like, were you like
Speaker 2: going to public high school?
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, and so what were Yeah what was it like
Speaker 2: for you like in school? And why were you afraid
Speaker 2: to make friends?
Speaker 1: So when I was younger, I tried to have friends,
Speaker 1: but I didn't, you know, like how you talk about
Speaker 1: your life when you're a kid and you tell your
Speaker 1: friends what's going on, Like you're like, my family's doing that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. A lot of them, once they heard what my
Speaker 1: family was doing, wouldn't let me hang out with their
Speaker 1: kids anymore, or the vice versa of if they did
Speaker 1: hear it, they got so overly concerned that it would
Speaker 1: scare me. Because my mom was always she was the
Speaker 1: best way to explain it is and I hate to
Speaker 1: compare it to this, but like a dictator, like if
Speaker 1: you told anybody what was going on, you basically got
Speaker 1: punished at the max, Like like there was this one
Speaker 1: time I didn't understand what cheating was, and she was
Speaker 1: cheating on her husband and I was going to church
Speaker 1: at the time. I was a kid. We lived in
Speaker 1: the Bible Belt. I had accidentally told on her for cheating.
Speaker 1: And when I say accidentally, it truly was an accident.
Speaker 1: I was thirteen years old. My grandparents raised me, so
Speaker 1: I didn't know no better, Like my grandparents were really
Speaker 1: about religion. And my grandpa had asked me if someone
Speaker 1: had been coming over to our house and I just
Speaker 1: told him, yeah. I didn't want to lie, because he
Speaker 1: told me lying was thee him in that moment, thirteen
Speaker 1: years old, you don't really think before you speak here
Speaker 1: anything like that, and she lockt me in the room
Speaker 1: for three days with no food or anything. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it really scared me. So you kind of learned how
Speaker 1: to what your peas and hughes of what to do
Speaker 1: and what not to do. And I didn't know this
Speaker 1: wasn't normal for the most part, Like honestly, I thought
Speaker 1: this was how life was until I was way older,
Speaker 1: Like I had no idea. And that's why my husband's
Speaker 1: always like Autumn, like you need to you need to
Speaker 1: just maybe talk about it, like let it out something.
Speaker 1: But like to me that that was how life was
Speaker 1: like that that was my in and out like I
Speaker 1: didn't I didn't know, like I didn't know other kids
Speaker 1: didn't go through that, So I thought it was normal
Speaker 1: to talk talk about and then I realized it wasn't.
Speaker 1: So it made me watch who my friends were. I
Speaker 1: got scared, like who would tell the guy it's counselor
Speaker 1: and if it would get back to my mom and
Speaker 1: if she'd punish me, And those were always my fears,
Speaker 1: like if she would punish me like I was. I
Speaker 1: was just scared, and it made me so scared to
Speaker 1: do anything wrong like I was. I was terrified of it.
Speaker 2: M So, man, all right, so you're eighteen, and you
Speaker 2: you don't even have like much of a network outside
Speaker 2: of your immediate family at this point to even really
Speaker 2: give you, as you're saying, much of a reference as
Speaker 2: to what is normal, like I like, because you know,
Speaker 2: even like the ability to like go over to a
Speaker 2: friend's house and like just just just get any bit
Speaker 2: of a fucking idea of like what life is like
Speaker 2: outside of your your own you know, is like tough
Speaker 2: when you're in that when you're in that situation, so
Speaker 2: it becomes like, yeah, you start to believe like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is just how shit is. Yeah, that makes a
Speaker 2: lot of sense when when you're eighteen and the cops
Speaker 2: come and shit, where where do you go after that?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: I guess, how did you? Cause I know you you
Speaker 2: kind of well how old are you now? By the way,
Speaker 2: if you don't mind me asking? Okay, all right, so
Speaker 2: from eighteen, what's the story of Like, like, I guess,
Speaker 2: so did the police they arrested? They arrested your mom?
Speaker 1: Right? No, Actually, we live in such a small town
Speaker 1: that it turns out that my mom knew the officer
Speaker 1: and yeah, they were like, hey, what's going on. Ended
Speaker 1: up the people she was having an affair with had
Speaker 1: a myth lab so she she told on them for
Speaker 1: having that and they ended up getting arrested. And I
Speaker 1: don't know what the technicalities of it were or anything
Speaker 1: like that, but they lived down the road work where
Speaker 1: we were like at the time, and they were related
Speaker 1: to my fip dad and my stepdad. Total who knows,
Speaker 1: like I was, I was only eighteen at the time.
Speaker 1: I did and understand, you know, how connections work or
Speaker 1: anything like that, So I don't I don't know the
Speaker 1: ins and outs of it, but I knew she didn't
Speaker 1: get in trouble because she got to stay home and
Speaker 1: they got arrested. So much.
Speaker 2: How much longer did you live with her at the house?
Speaker 1: Probably three days? So after the second day, she had
Speaker 1: threaten to shoot my brother at the time, who was twelve.
Speaker 1: She had told him that I took you into this
Speaker 1: world and I'll bring you out. And I remember hearing that.
Speaker 1: I was just like, I can't with this no more,
Speaker 1: like you know, like I took care of my siblings
Speaker 1: all my life. Like in my head, I was like,
Speaker 1: these are my kids. It just it done something to me,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't anymore. So I remember
Speaker 1: packing at the time, and this probably something so silly,
Speaker 1: but I packed my I had like a Peer three
Speaker 1: and a couple other devices and not many things, you know,
Speaker 1: because I just came back home. I packed it in
Speaker 1: my car. And I'd got my first job because like
Speaker 1: I said, I was married off at sixteen, and he
Speaker 1: didn't believe in a woman working or anything. So i'd
Speaker 1: got a job. I was at my point of I'm
Speaker 1: going to do this like I'm going to figure it out.
Speaker 1: So I got a job, and I was going to
Speaker 1: figure it out like that was my mindset. So I
Speaker 1: I sall my stuff in my car, I ran off.
Speaker 1: I slept a couple of days in a Walmart parking
Speaker 1: lot with all my stuff in my car, going to
Speaker 1: work the next day. And then my best friend from
Speaker 1: high school, the one singular friend I did have, I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, do you want a roommate? Like, we'll
Speaker 1: find a place. And I started looking at the newspaper
Speaker 1: and I found a place quickly, and God just wanted
Speaker 1: a four hundred and fifty dollars down post. I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: that's nothing. And we did that and I went from
Speaker 1: there and got that.
Speaker 2: And what's going on? How many siblings do you have?
Speaker 1: So I have three that I know of, but I
Speaker 1: don't know my biological dad that well. So when we
Speaker 1: did a twenty three or whatever DNA test, it popped
Speaker 1: up a couple. I got to meet two of my
Speaker 1: dad's children. They said, we have men, but I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know, and I've never really met them. But
Speaker 1: by my mom.
Speaker 2: I had two that I got to know, and so, okay,
Speaker 2: so you're living with your friends, you found a four
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars, you found an apartment you can afford,
Speaker 2: and and you know what's going on? Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2: So that must have been really difficult because it's like,
Speaker 2: what's going on with your siblings at the time, because
Speaker 2: it's like, you got it's hard enough to fucking like
Speaker 2: be able to like fend for yourself in that situation.
Speaker 2: Are you Are you still at this time, like keeping
Speaker 2: contact with your siblings and stuff? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I am so. At the time I was messaging them
Speaker 1: and stuff, and I had got ahold of my youngest sibling, Kyla.
Speaker 1: She had told me like what was going on stuff
Speaker 1: like that, and how hard she's dealing with it. My
Speaker 1: middle sibling, she had dealt with my mom a law
Speaker 1: and was kind of close to my mom. We didn't
Speaker 1: know about what triangulation was, so we had went to
Speaker 1: therapy a couple of piunds each of us, but I
Speaker 1: went to therapy the most. So we learned about what
Speaker 1: triangulation was, and it's called her it. Basically, the epitony
Speaker 1: of it is hitting your siblings against each other for
Speaker 1: whatever benefit it is for the parents and who. So
Speaker 1: at the time they were my mom was triangulating for
Speaker 1: a minute. It didn't happen long because she kind of
Speaker 1: realized that I was her financial gain and stuff. But
Speaker 1: she was like your older sisters, she's she left us.
Speaker 1: Look what she did. She left us, and she left
Speaker 1: you all here alone. And so my younger sibling was
Speaker 1: telling me this, and that kind of distressed me because
Speaker 1: I was the one that would get them up for
Speaker 1: the school bus and get them ready for school, get
Speaker 1: them off the school bus and all that stuff. So
Speaker 1: I didn't really understand what was going on at times. So, like,
Speaker 1: you know, it distressed me because I was like, how
Speaker 1: there she talked bad about me after all that she did,
Speaker 1: and I didn't know what was going on in reality,
Speaker 1: but from what I was seeing at that point and
Speaker 1: at that time, was that she was talking awful about me.
Speaker 1: But that eventually died when she realized that I would
Speaker 1: be the one that would be taking care of my
Speaker 1: siblings and stuff. But sorry, he's just her my husband.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, is that your husband saying what's up?
Speaker 1: Is it okay? If you gives a little shout out sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he has to go to work, so I'm sorry I've
Speaker 1: been talking while he's been asleep for work.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 1: I've been listening to your podcast for like I don't
Speaker 1: want to say, like four or five months now, but
Speaker 1: I've just been binge listening to it at work, and
Speaker 1: you're doing good stuff.
Speaker 2: Man, Thanks man. I appreciate it, appreciate it. Have a
Speaker 2: have a do you do? Where are you going?
Speaker 1: I work at Walmart?
Speaker 2: Kick ass? Have a have a have a nice day
Speaker 2: at work. Brother?
Speaker 1: All right, thanks man, later, brother, thank you. I appreciate
Speaker 1: that so much. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Just that's all good. That's all good.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, they my mom is kind. At the
Speaker 1: moment they were kids, they she put it on against me,
Speaker 1: like I was abandoning them. And I never realized at
Speaker 1: that point what that that move was. I didn't know, like,
Speaker 1: I had no idea that that was what was occurrent.
Speaker 1: The months later, she I guess came around. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, she's not that bad. I guess that was wrong.
Speaker 1: They reached back out to me and was like, hey,
Speaker 1: we need help, and so US started sending the money.
Speaker 1: I didn't know better. I was just worried. So I
Speaker 1: started sending.
Speaker 2: On money you send them You're sending money over to
Speaker 2: your mom?
Speaker 1: Yeah, for the kids. Mm.
Speaker 2: And where and where are you working at this time?
Speaker 2: Like how are you making money?
Speaker 1: I was working at a factory. It was just a
Speaker 1: little tawny, small town factory. Wasn't much at the time.
Speaker 1: Minimum wage was seven twenty five. We made like a
Speaker 1: dollar more, it was like eight twenty five. But I
Speaker 1: was just I was just worried. So I was scared,
Speaker 1: honestly that my siblings wouldn't get the mm hmmmm hmm.
Speaker 2: And are you are you at this time? Like are
Speaker 2: you are you having do you have enough to like
Speaker 2: take care of like both yourself? Like do you have
Speaker 2: enough to take care of yourself and have enough leftover
Speaker 2: that you're sending to your to your mom.
Speaker 1: On a really no, like if I'm if I'm being
Speaker 1: quite honest, I remember having that conversation and being like, hey,
Speaker 1: like I don't I don't have a lot of money.
Speaker 1: But in her head she viewed it as we were working,
Speaker 1: so you should So I didn't like correlate that that
Speaker 1: was wrong because I was like, this is my family.
Speaker 2: Mm hm.
Speaker 1: I also became pregnant, probably about two months later, I
Speaker 1: had yeah, like probably about two months later from sending
Speaker 1: all that money. The best friend that I had roommated
Speaker 1: with I kind of formulated a relationship with, but we'd
Speaker 1: been best friends in fifth grade, so I thought it
Speaker 1: was safe, and so we were like, hey, if we're
Speaker 1: friends and we're living together, we should just date, like
Speaker 1: and that was that. So we decided to be together,
Speaker 1: and then I found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, mm hmm.
Speaker 1: I know it's a lot. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: No, no, if, I mean, if, if you're down to
Speaker 2: keep telling your life story, I remain I remained all
Speaker 2: ears for as long as you want to keep talking.
Speaker 1: Okay, so as long as you're good, I'm good. I all.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, you don't. You don't have to
Speaker 2: feel bad. I've remained all ears for as long as
Speaker 2: you want to keep talking.
Speaker 1: It's a really long story, so I'm going to apologize.
Speaker 1: An event. So that was my best friend. We've been
Speaker 1: best friends since eighth grade. So there's a little bit
Speaker 1: backstory to that. My my gallbladder had failed and had
Speaker 1: attached to my liver and so everything started shutting down
Speaker 1: at once. But my mom had said I was faking
Speaker 1: it when I was in high school, so I was
Speaker 1: getting sicker and sicker. But his mom was the only
Speaker 1: one that gave a heck about me. So she was like, hey,
Speaker 1: something's like she worked at a hospital and she's like,
Speaker 1: something's really wrong with her. But my parents didn't listen.
Speaker 1: They were always like, she's faking it. She's faking it.
Speaker 1: She just wants attention. So there's there's a lot of
Speaker 1: backstory there too. So when my gallbladder had finally attached
Speaker 1: to my liver, I passed out at school and an
Speaker 1: ambulance is called and I had to have an emergency
Speaker 1: store or surgery. And when that had happened, I guess
Speaker 1: that kind of brought me and him pretty close that
Speaker 1: you know, our friendship was like tight, like you know,
Speaker 1: and his parents were close to me and stuff. But
Speaker 1: you know, at the time, I knew I didn't want
Speaker 1: a boyfriend or anything like that. So I was like,
Speaker 1: uh no, I hadn't at the time knew what my
Speaker 1: parents had in store for me with the whole marriage stuff.
Speaker 1: But life goes on and he's still my friends throughout
Speaker 1: all of that. We're friends, We move in together. He
Speaker 1: had a girlfriend I had a boyfriend at the time.
Speaker 1: We were both adults. I was eighteen, he was eighteen.
Speaker 1: But it just kind of coincided that we worked out.
Speaker 1: We both went through bad breakups or whatever, and we
Speaker 1: were like, okay, we'll be together. While we were living together,
Speaker 1: and we ended up having a kid, and we were like, okay,
Speaker 1: so we'll just make this work. We got married and
Speaker 1: you know where we live. If you're having a baby,
Speaker 1: you get married. That's just that. So we got married.
Speaker 1: We had a son with some birth effects and stuff,
Speaker 1: and it was just really hard. We didn't know what
Speaker 1: to do. It was It was scary, really scary. And
Speaker 1: he's not a bad person or anything. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to diss him at all. In the we just didn't
Speaker 1: know what we were doing. We were both kids, and
Speaker 1: he knew about how my family dumby, how they had
Speaker 1: kind of arranged a marriage and stuff, and his family
Speaker 1: is really understanding and they kind of took me under
Speaker 1: their wing and they were really good to me. So
Speaker 1: I felt like I had it made, but I didn't
Speaker 1: know what battles I had ahead of me. So I
Speaker 1: went through postpartum really bad because I I didn't know
Speaker 1: what I was doing, and I didn't have parents to
Speaker 1: help me along that journey or anything. And it was
Speaker 1: extra hard because you're having a kid with birth effects.
Speaker 1: You want help and you don't know what you're doing,
Speaker 1: and you especially don't know what you're doing with that
Speaker 1: extra thing at it on. But he turned out great,
Speaker 1: Like he's a wonderful kid. He could do everything a
Speaker 1: normal kid can. He went above and beyond that, like
Speaker 1: and so I'm so proud of him. But at the
Speaker 1: time I had I had no clue what I was doing.
Speaker 1: I was terrified, like absolutely scared, Like I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let this kid down. Like I especially didn't
Speaker 1: know what I was doing because like I'd never seen
Speaker 1: a parent be a good parent, Like how do I
Speaker 1: be a good parent to my kids?
Speaker 2: Right right right?
Speaker 1: And if I'm not letting you get a word in
Speaker 1: stop me because.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, please keep going, keep going please.
Speaker 1: So it's hard. I went into counseling. I got on
Speaker 1: some antidepressants and stuff, but I was so scared of
Speaker 1: any communication because of what my family was like that
Speaker 1: I would refuse it at every curve. I was like,
Speaker 1: even the antidepressant, which is so silly in hindsight, but
Speaker 1: at the time, you know, you really don't know, like
Speaker 1: you truly don't know. So I was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: this is drugs. So I was like this bad freaked out,
Speaker 1: flushed all my intodepressants down the toilet because I was like,
Speaker 1: I've seen my mom take kills, so I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be like her. So I really
Speaker 1: didn't know what I was what I was doing. So
Speaker 1: that that took a lot of mental episodes of figuring out.
Speaker 1: And I've had a lot of help with his family
Speaker 1: along the way because they knew how my family was. Like,
Speaker 1: they were like, we know you don't have support, we
Speaker 1: know you don't have people. And to this day, I'm
Speaker 1: still so thankful because if it hadn't been for them,
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't made it, like I probably liked honestly,
Speaker 1: if I'm telling the truth, wouldn't be here. So I'm
Speaker 1: really grateful for them.
Speaker 2: And so when do you think when hmmm, yeah, I
Speaker 2: guess yeah, No, I mean get well, no, please, I
Speaker 2: mean I mean, please keep going tell the story or whatever,
Speaker 2: because I want to because I'm fascinated. I want to
Speaker 2: hear how you're doing now. But I want to wait
Speaker 2: because I want to. I want you to, you know,
Speaker 2: if you have a whole timeline you want to go through.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm I'm I'm yeah, I'm curious.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you got time, I'm here to talk. Coach.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got time. We got time.
Speaker 1: So this journey goes on way on. So at that time,
Speaker 1: I was probably twenty one. I have a three year
Speaker 1: old at that point. Okay, so that's right about where
Speaker 1: I left off. I'm twenty seven now, so that's about
Speaker 1: six years that I got to go. If you're good
Speaker 1: with listen, yea.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I thought I wanted to be a cop, and
Speaker 1: that was what my heart was set on, and I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, I'm going to be a cop. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do this. I want to make a difference in
Speaker 1: kids worlds, in my world. Like you know, in my head,
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, I'm gonna be the thing that
Speaker 1: saved me when I was a kid, because, trust me,
Speaker 1: along my childhood costs. And I'm not like, you know,
Speaker 1: backing any kind of movement in this by saying and
Speaker 1: I'm just meaning honestly, like for my perspective, in my time,
Speaker 1: I went through a lot of abuse, and the only
Speaker 1: thing that saved me was people showing up. And there
Speaker 1: was really no outside force beyond that. I didn't have
Speaker 1: family that stepped in or anything like that. So I
Speaker 1: want to be I want I want to be that,
Speaker 1: and I thought that I really can make a difference.
Speaker 1: But it turns out in this area where we live,
Speaker 1: you can't look that. That's just that everybody knows everybody.
Speaker 1: They let them off. They like if somebody's hurting their kids,
Speaker 1: they just turn the other way. You know, if they
Speaker 1: know them, they're like, hey, I went to high school
Speaker 1: with them. They just they just don't care. And I
Speaker 1: went to that field for a while a couple of years,
Speaker 1: and it was just taking a huge toll on me personally,
Speaker 1: and I just couldn't take it no more. I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't, I can't do this. I absolutely cannot do this.
Speaker 1: I can't watch everything that I went through and go
Speaker 1: on to other people. And so I was like, I
Speaker 1: have to sit down, I have to take a breather.
Speaker 1: So my husband I eventually moved on from my son's
Speaker 1: father because just life happens, and me and my son's
Speaker 1: father had separated. Who wouldn't like dramatic or anything. We
Speaker 1: just went on our own paths and we'd peacefully delegated,
Speaker 1: like hey, like we were just friends growing up and
Speaker 1: we should have always been friends, and we've peacefully done it,
Speaker 1: you know, and that was the best thing ever, Like
Speaker 1: to me was just you know, you always hear about yeah,
Speaker 1: so my whole life had been drama, but to me, it, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like a breath of fresh air.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, that's the
Speaker 2: vibe I'm getting too, is like that's after so much
Speaker 2: like strife in your life to have you know, this event,
Speaker 2: because it's just you know, happens of people like growing
Speaker 2: apart and moving on from each other. But to have
Speaker 2: it happen in a in a peaceful way, it's like,
Speaker 2: oh things, can you know, be chill at least for
Speaker 2: once year.
Speaker 1: I mean, I won't say it was an easy thing
Speaker 1: like at all, Like I will not because you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to discredit anybody that's going through right now.
Speaker 1: But it definitely was hard. There was a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff that had happened, and you know, I hold no
Speaker 1: resentment and that's the best feeling to me, is like
Speaker 1: oh good, Like so I'm out of that. I'm like,
Speaker 1: at least I took something from my childhood and made
Speaker 1: it useful, like you know, I didn't want to be
Speaker 1: like that, and I became better like and something. Okay, good,
Speaker 1: good for you. But the process after was not easy
Speaker 1: because going back home after everything I'd been through growing up.
Speaker 2: Oh, she went back with your mom?
Speaker 1: Yes? And yeah, so back to my mom.
Speaker 2: Okay, so so you so you you start, you were
Speaker 2: living with your sister and then you went back to
Speaker 2: your mom.
Speaker 1: Yes. So my sister went through a bad divorce when
Speaker 1: I decided to go through mine, and I've lived with
Speaker 1: her for a couple of months, but my sister was like,
Speaker 1: I can't, you know, do my stuff anymore, so I
Speaker 1: have to go. So I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I have no other option now, like I'm I'm just
Speaker 1: getting on my feet, So now what what do I do?
Speaker 1: And it ended up with being back at my mom,
Speaker 1: which sucked wholeheartedly.
Speaker 2: And at this at this point, so what's what's your
Speaker 2: kind of custody arrangement? Uh? At this point with with
Speaker 2: your with your ex husband.
Speaker 1: Split perfect split. So he's like, as long as you're good,
Speaker 1: I'm good, and we would arrange so if something was
Speaker 1: going on, which he knew my family and stuff, he
Speaker 1: knew how they were, and he was like, if something's
Speaker 1: going on, you just tell me and we'll make it work,
Speaker 1: you know, like if if something's going on your way,
Speaker 1: like we'll just delay it whatever. And we det with
Speaker 1: the grandmother a lot more than anything else, like on
Speaker 1: his side, so if something was going on, we knew
Speaker 1: Grandma could step in and help m hm hm, which wort.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, what's it like back at that brief stint,
Speaker 2: back at your mom's not good?
Speaker 1: My sister. I took more so worried for my sister
Speaker 1: at the time than me, which was just I couldn't
Speaker 1: help it. I should have been worrying about my process
Speaker 1: and my own emotions, but it's just I can't, like
Speaker 1: I can't like I would always just take over for
Speaker 1: her or whoever I was around at that moment, so
Speaker 1: I could be dealing with the sky falling and I
Speaker 1: was like, what's going on with you, Like, let's tell you,
Speaker 1: like whatever, yeah, which didn't give me the ability to
Speaker 1: process what I wanted to process. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I was just like, I can't process what I'm dealing
Speaker 1: and so I want to process what you're dealing with them,
Speaker 1: So I guess more so, I was worried about her
Speaker 1: and what she was like. Her and her man ended
Speaker 1: up working out temporarily, so we went back to her
Speaker 1: house and we stayed there for a while, and she
Speaker 1: was good with it. I was good with it, but
Speaker 1: my mom was just my mom angry, didn't want I
Speaker 1: guess one of us to succeed or something. That's just
Speaker 1: her mentality at the time. It would bounce back and
Speaker 1: forth between me and her, and so we would just
Speaker 1: kind of talk to each other and trust each other
Speaker 1: more so than we would whatever outsourced help we were getting. Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll figure it out. And that's when I'm at my
Speaker 1: husband now. I had two jobs. I worked at a
Speaker 1: jael and I worked at a liquor store, which is
Speaker 1: the funniest thing I know.
Speaker 2: We worked at it, what you said, a jail.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I was the CEO and then by night,
Speaker 1: and then I was a liquor store clerk by day.
Speaker 1: So a lot of the times i'd have people that
Speaker 1: I had in jail at not be seeing me.
Speaker 2: The next day.
Speaker 1: But I was cool with it, like you know, like
Speaker 1: I've always been like, really, just hey, whatever goes with flow,
Speaker 1: you know, But that didn't always work in my favors.
Speaker 1: So I had two jobs, you know, I wentn't home
Speaker 1: a lot anyway, so I was like, no, we'll figure
Speaker 1: out what it's on at home on my time, you know,
Speaker 1: if you want. And shoes cool with it because she
Speaker 1: they always let me figure out their problems, and which
Speaker 1: is my downfall because that kind of puts a lot
Speaker 1: on my plate. But at the same time, it's also
Speaker 1: worrisome because I'm also like, I know, we didn't have
Speaker 1: parents that guided us growing up, so I can't help
Speaker 1: but to worry about them until just stay like do
Speaker 1: you all know what you're doing? Like, do you all
Speaker 1: any hell you know? But so at the time we
Speaker 1: were figuring out, she went back home whatever. I met
Speaker 1: my husband at my job, my second job, not my
Speaker 1: friend job. We knew each other growing up, but we
Speaker 1: didn't really know each other, so wet me and at
Speaker 1: the liquor store, not the jail. But it was all
Speaker 1: because of a proposal, so they were bonding stuff for
Speaker 1: the proposal. So I really never gave him a chance.
Speaker 1: I was always like, yeah, I'm married. At the time,
Speaker 1: before and then afterward, I was like, I'm divorced and
Speaker 1: I don't want to really talk to nobody.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry once say I just wanted to. So I just, uh,
Speaker 2: your current husband comes in. He's buying stuff for a.
Speaker 1: Proposal, yes, for his brother.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, okay, I thought he met I thought
Speaker 2: he met you, like okay, no, no, no, no, no, it's
Speaker 2: I was just like, did he way more crazy? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I thought I was about to get right because I
Speaker 2: thought I was like, oh, he met you while buying
Speaker 2: alcohol for a proposal for his wife. Okay, all right,
Speaker 2: got you? Got you?
Speaker 1: Never had a serious relationship like maybe once but beyond me. No,
Speaker 1: it's his brother, but at the time we we've been
Speaker 1: friends before, working together and stuff like in the past.
Speaker 1: But like I was always like no, you know, like
Speaker 1: I'm I'm very like consistent with what I feel, and
Speaker 1: I'm like if I'm married, I'm like no, And then
Speaker 1: you know, like things like that, like average people stuff.
Speaker 2: So you you so you knew of this, So this,
Speaker 2: I mean it's a small town, like you know of
Speaker 2: this guy before he he comes into the store. Okay,
Speaker 2: got you got you?
Speaker 1: Yes, he supposed to me want to talsk with like know, no,
Speaker 1: I shut him down every time, you know, And I
Speaker 1: never felt bad about it until i'd got with him,
Speaker 1: but I'd always shut it down like no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. But this time, I guess you just got
Speaker 1: lucky you because we I'd been divorced for a minute
Speaker 1: and all my friends, like I'm gonna brag on them,
Speaker 1: like all my friends are so pretty, and he came
Speaker 1: into my job and I'm used to all my friends
Speaker 1: getting all the attention, like and and I'm not knocking myself,
Speaker 1: but you know, like I was just really not there,
Speaker 1: if that makes sense. Like I'd always be in the background,
Speaker 1: and he had walked past him like talking to him,
Speaker 1: and he was like hey at them, man, I was like,
Speaker 1: oh hey, And then that won me over like instantly,
Speaker 1: like that he went past the Malibu barbies and went
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 2: That like, so you had kind of this feeling that
Speaker 2: like I guess, uh of like oh, like you know,
Speaker 2: you're you're not usually the one getting getting the attention,
Speaker 2: and finally somebody, you know, pays you some mind.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because everybody in the small town don't pay attention
Speaker 1: to the goth girl. They're like devil worshipers, stay in
Speaker 1: your corner.
Speaker 2: But that But but the goth, the goth girl vibe
Speaker 2: was what drew him to you.
Speaker 1: Yes, So I was like, okay, very nice.
Speaker 2: Very nice, very nice, very nice, very nice.
Speaker 1: And I knew he played like music and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: so I was like, okay, so it's not just like
Speaker 1: a kink or a feish or something like that, you know,
Speaker 1: like like this might actually be what he's into som
Speaker 1: and so I was like, Okay, I guess I'll give
Speaker 1: this man a chance. Anyway, we hit it off after that,
Speaker 1: and he was kind of my saving grace. And I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to like, you know, fluff it, but he
Speaker 1: really was because I had no idea what normal was like.
Speaker 1: So when I met him, he kind of like it
Speaker 1: threw me by surprise because it was like why is
Speaker 1: this meant so not to me? Like like who are you?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Like he started seeing me and
Speaker 1: he was doing so many nice things for me, and
Speaker 1: I was like what the fuck, Like who the fuck
Speaker 1: do you think you are? Like, you know, just on
Speaker 1: the defense, like I couldn't help it. That's just how
Speaker 1: it was, like, you know, like nobody's nice unless they
Speaker 1: have an alter year motives like in my head, I
Speaker 1: thought my mess and he kind of took me under
Speaker 1: his wing and he was like, hey, like you know,
Speaker 1: I want you to open up. I want you to
Speaker 1: share and start. So I started telling him how my
Speaker 1: life was. I and he kind of knew who my
Speaker 1: family was things like that, just because we live in
Speaker 1: the smallest town. And he had no idea because my
Speaker 1: mom paints this picture perfect like Facebook life. I don't
Speaker 1: have social media, so I don't know, but from what
Speaker 1: I understand, picture perfect whatever. And so I'm telling him
Speaker 1: and I'm showing him like I have, you know, proof
Speaker 1: and all that. I'm like, this is what's going on
Speaker 1: in my life and he's like a gas like I
Speaker 1: can't believe that, Like and I guess it just blew
Speaker 1: me away because it's like, what do you mean? Like,
Speaker 1: you know, I never really dated. I never I'd had
Speaker 1: two people in my life and that was it that
Speaker 1: I'd been with my whole adulthood of you know, serious things.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what do you mean like to
Speaker 1: say to saying something you heard? And the more I'd
Speaker 1: tell him, he'd just be like, what, like you're you're joking,
Speaker 1: and then he'd see it, like he would actually get
Speaker 1: to see physical proof of it, knowing my family, and
Speaker 1: it just kind of blew him away because he didn't
Speaker 1: realize people could really be like that, like because he
Speaker 1: was used to his family being nice and take it
Speaker 1: on me in and like every moment that like someone
Speaker 1: was feeling something, everybody would talk about it, things like that.
Speaker 1: He just he'd never seen anything like that. So he
Speaker 1: was like a ghast. I guess m h.
Speaker 2: And hmmm. So this is when you were twenty three
Speaker 2: year this is about four years ago that you guys, yeah,
Speaker 2: not not me for the first time, but but do
Speaker 2: connects but your reconnects yeah, yeah, and then and then
Speaker 2: how does that relationship flourish? Do you guys move in together?
Speaker 2: Like what what's the sort of the timeline of that.
Speaker 1: So at a certain point we do move in together.
Speaker 1: We move in and everything's going good and stuff. But
Speaker 1: he's starting to get to really see how my family is.
Speaker 1: Like he's he's like, oh my gosh, Like I didn't
Speaker 1: I didn't know. And at the time, my sister had
Speaker 1: ran off, which this is another side story, she had
Speaker 1: ran off from that prior relationship and she'd got into
Speaker 1: some wild stuff, and I guess kind of re enacted
Speaker 1: my mom a little bit because she got into a
Speaker 1: bad situation. I'd offered to help her and stuff, but
Speaker 1: I didn't know what she was doing. So he was
Speaker 1: like seeing it and he was like, no, we can't
Speaker 1: get involved with it beyond that point. Like before that,
Speaker 1: we could offer her somewhere to go, but we didn't
Speaker 1: know what she was doing at the time, which was
Speaker 1: some drugs and stuff like that, and he was like, no,
Speaker 1: we can't help her be on that point because we
Speaker 1: don't know what she's bringing in. He kind of got
Speaker 1: to see how everything was going on that part, which
Speaker 1: was scary because I never encountered that with my own
Speaker 1: siblings and stuff. And then my mom would get involved,
Speaker 1: and my dad was friends with his dad growing up
Speaker 1: and stuff, so there was always a lot of them stuck.
Speaker 2: Up and auto your dad, your dad was friends with
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if I'm messing this up here, but your
Speaker 2: dad was friends with your sister's with your with your
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, mine, Oh okay, okay, that's what I thought.
Speaker 2: That's what I thought. I thought your okay, your dad
Speaker 2: was friends with your current husband's dad growing.
Speaker 1: Up yet, OK, so we had we had no idea though,
Speaker 1: like we knew kind of, but we didn't know like
Speaker 1: how close everybody was. Like we had no idea because
Speaker 1: I hadn't talked to my parents in years, like you
Speaker 1: know at this point, like it's probably a good year
Speaker 1: before i'd spoke to my mom, So we we really
Speaker 1: didn't know the background of that, and none of that
Speaker 1: stuff is kind of shared. But it turns out they
Speaker 1: were actually pretty close growing up and stuff like that. Yes,
Speaker 1: which is my mom's fifth husband and she had been
Speaker 1: she which was her third husband's cousin, Which is crazy
Speaker 1: backstory your mom.
Speaker 2: Your mom's fifth husband was her third husband's cousin. Yes,
Speaker 2: that's a whole thing. That's the whole thing.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Like when I tell you it's all crazy,
Speaker 1: it's all.
Speaker 2: So I don't want to skip too much if you
Speaker 2: have some stuff to you know that you still kind
Speaker 2: of want to talk about. But I I I'm just
Speaker 2: I'm I'm very curious. So you're twenty seven, now, Yes,
Speaker 2: what for? First of all, and I actually probably should
Speaker 2: have asked you this about an hour ago. Have you
Speaker 2: talked to have you talked about all this stuff?
Speaker 1: With a real therapist, So probably a while back, yes,
Speaker 1: but I kind of I kind of kind of gets
Speaker 1: old after a while, I'm sure. But we live in
Speaker 1: a small town. The therapists don't really stay therapists along here,
Speaker 1: if that makes sense. Sure, so you're having to retail
Speaker 1: your whole off to someone new in a matter of
Speaker 1: like eight months.
Speaker 2: No, it's it's well, here's what you can do is
Speaker 2: now that you've told this story, you can just send
Speaker 2: any new therapists this podcast and be like, here's some homework.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I suppose I could like here's a leek.
Speaker 2: T L d R and then yeah, yeah, But so
Speaker 2: I mean, how are you, like, how are you doing
Speaker 2: now where we're at the future. I mean, you're you're
Speaker 2: clearly a very a very smart person, and just from
Speaker 2: the way that you present yourself, from the way you talk.
Speaker 2: And I know that the way that people present themselves
Speaker 2: in the way that they talk is uh not does
Speaker 2: not tell a full story of things, but you know
Speaker 2: what you you from the way you're presenting yourself to
Speaker 2: me on this call, despite everything, you turned out pretty
Speaker 2: pretty damn well as a human being. Where how's your
Speaker 2: life going? How's your life going now at twenty seven,
Speaker 2: what's up?
Speaker 1: Okay? So, to be honest, I'm having a hard time
Speaker 1: finding functionality in a career that is not law enforcement.
Speaker 1: That that's my personal struggle. So I'm trying to find
Speaker 1: myself a place not customer service because I never realized
Speaker 1: maybe after work in the field, I'm not customer service space.
Speaker 1: But me and my husband we are living with his
Speaker 1: family and we're trying to figure things out. We had
Speaker 1: moved despite all bad things. My mom had hooked her
Speaker 1: sinks in probably about a year ago that we should
Speaker 1: come live with her, and we did for a minute,
Speaker 1: and then my husband really got to see our reality,
Speaker 1: like truly got to see our reality of how they
Speaker 1: were and stuff, and it kind of bid us regardless.
Speaker 1: But I you know, a kid wants their parents, that's
Speaker 1: just natural human instinct. I thought she had changed because
Speaker 1: my stepdad at the time had promoted the idea that
Speaker 1: she was better, She wasn't what she was before, et cetera.
Speaker 1: We moved back in with her for a little bit
Speaker 1: and it just was awful. Ended up with me pretty
Speaker 1: much being their maid and stuff. Because I just can't
Speaker 1: help it. That's just my personality. I just aim to please,
Speaker 1: I guess is the common reference for that, and my
Speaker 1: husband would get tired of it at the time. And
Speaker 1: so we were trying to get our gateway into being
Speaker 1: able to get our own home and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: because we wanted to start our marriage out building, and
Speaker 1: I guess it didn't really work out that way. But
Speaker 1: we're doing good beyond that because we got out of
Speaker 1: their grass of them constantly keeping us in that circle
Speaker 1: of cycle. I guess you would say of abuse, because
Speaker 1: that's really ultimately what it is. And he realized that
Speaker 1: before I did.
Speaker 2: And how is your your son doing.
Speaker 1: Great? Great, absolutely phenomenal, But he he shielded from a
Speaker 1: lot of things.
Speaker 2: Nine.
Speaker 1: Yes, I hate to paint that picture tomb that everything's fond,
Speaker 1: but I'd rather him have everything spond and everything's bad
Speaker 1: and the sky is falling.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's but you know to yeah, I
Speaker 2: think to shield him from that. I mean, it's so
Speaker 2: amazing that you you grew up in like such crazy
Speaker 2: circumstances and now you have this op you have uh
Speaker 2: seized the opportunity to like, you know, do things you
Speaker 2: know better and right for your son. It's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the best legacy I can lead behind is
Speaker 1: honestly that I did not let him go through an
Speaker 1: inch of what I went through. And that's the proudest
Speaker 1: thing I am is that he's never got to see
Speaker 1: a day of that life, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And is it Does your husband have any kids or
Speaker 2: are YouTube both? Just like kind of taking care of
Speaker 2: of of the.
Speaker 1: One, just the one I would like him in the future,
Speaker 1: But ultimately that fear lives within of I just don't
Speaker 1: want to repeat cycles. And I'd rather be on a
Speaker 1: good fit when we start that than you know, history
Speaker 1: and all that, because my son was not really necessarily planned,
Speaker 1: but he's a blessing beyond that, you know, regardless. But
Speaker 1: if I can keep it on a good fit of
Speaker 1: having one planned when it comes to making sure I'm
Speaker 1: of a good state of mind, of a good state
Speaker 1: of mind, I'd rather do that that way. I know
Speaker 1: that my kids will never see a day of the
Speaker 1: life that I had.
Speaker 2: And is every Is everything still cool with your ex
Speaker 2: husband in terms of like sharing custody and whatnot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everything did work out well with that. We did
Speaker 1: have a couple of bumps in the road, but it
Speaker 1: was mostly outside sources like he'd moved on for a bit.
Speaker 1: The ex wife didn't like me, and you know, like
Speaker 1: that's fine, she don't have to and I'm cool with that,
Speaker 1: Like she didn't have to like me. As long as
Speaker 1: we can coincide together, I'm cool with that. But she
Speaker 1: didn't want to coincide, and that ultimately led to separation
Speaker 1: and all that because she didn't want me in the picture.
Speaker 1: But eventually that worked out. And you know, I didn't interfere,
Speaker 1: like it's not my business or anything. She just didn't
Speaker 1: want me in the picture and that one part of
Speaker 1: her plan and it didn't work out in her favor
Speaker 1: that she couldn't get me out of the picture. And
Speaker 1: so flow went on after that.
Speaker 2: But so I got I got two things, is I
Speaker 2: think one I got a question for you then too,
Speaker 2: if you're down, I I am looking at the live
Speaker 2: twitch chat and I'll take some questions from them in
Speaker 2: just a bit if you want. But well, let me
Speaker 2: let me ask you this where you are now, Like
Speaker 2: I know that you're kind of trying to to find
Speaker 2: something outside of like law enforcement or retail. If you
Speaker 2: could like wave a magic wand and your life could
Speaker 2: be uh any way, that you you wanted it to be,
Speaker 2: what would what would that look like?
Speaker 1: I'm curious business business. I wish it went into business.
Speaker 1: I wish I'd went to school for it. I never
Speaker 1: realized how well I am a kind of situation like
Speaker 1: I've been a manager many times before, and I didn't
Speaker 1: realize I was good at it. I'd been a manager
Speaker 1: a couple of times at a call center and Walmart
Speaker 1: and things like that. I'd never realized how good I
Speaker 1: am at mediating. I mean, I guess that probably come
Speaker 1: naturally from my family, but maybe given that that was
Speaker 1: my role a lot growing up, was the mediator, I
Speaker 1: would have picked something in business like absolutely hands down.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm hmm. I have I have. I have no
Speaker 2: fucking idea if this is worth anything, but listen, I'll
Speaker 2: post this on Spotify and YouTube, and uh, I don't
Speaker 2: I don't know if the people of Spotify comments and
Speaker 2: YouTube comments can be helpful to your journey in any sense,
Speaker 2: but if if they can, I don't know. I don't
Speaker 2: know if we can get somebody a job via the
Speaker 2: Therapy Gecko podcast, but if we could, it would be cool.
Speaker 2: So you know, I'll post this and you know I
Speaker 2: don't know. Maybe maybe you can connect with somebody in
Speaker 2: the YouTube comments who could help you. I don't know
Speaker 2: if that's a pipe dream, but it would. It would
Speaker 2: be cool if it could happen. You don't have you
Speaker 2: don't have, Like so you said you don't have any
Speaker 2: social media, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Not really. I have Buttify, have that, but kind of
Speaker 1: just died down from social media after working in the field.
Speaker 1: I can tell you a crazy story about that, but
Speaker 1: I just kind of scared after a while. I had
Speaker 1: a woman the painted my name was her blood on
Speaker 1: the wall, and it kind of scared.
Speaker 2: You had a woman who painted your name with her
Speaker 2: blood on the wall.
Speaker 1: Yeah, at the jail.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot. Someone
Speaker 2: in the chat just said, I hate when that happens.
Speaker 1: Me too, family, But uh yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, look, you know, I'll post this on YouTube and Spotify.
Speaker 2: I don't know if somebody can help you, help you.
Speaker 2: If they could, that would be cool. But at least,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm sure there'll be a lot of people
Speaker 2: in the comments who are uh, you know, very very
Speaker 2: uh very supportive of your of your tail in general.
Speaker 2: Do you want to kids that? Okay? If I ask
Speaker 2: some questions from the twitch chat. Yeah, absolutely, go ahead, Okay,
Speaker 2: so twitch chat you can ask some questions real quick.
Speaker 2: So and said, if you could move out of Appalachia,
Speaker 2: where would you go?
Speaker 1: Maine?
Speaker 2: Maine? Where in Maine?
Speaker 1: Anywhere? I love Stephen King. He's one of my favorite authors.
Speaker 1: And you know, if anybody really reads any of his books,
Speaker 1: all of his books are placed somewhere up there, and
Speaker 1: I think it would just be interesting to kind of
Speaker 1: go there.
Speaker 2: You ever you ever thought about writing writing a book or.
Speaker 1: Something like that kind of Sometimes when I'm really stressed out,
Speaker 1: I go on word document on the PC and just
Speaker 1: top it all.
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, be be careful or else you'll end up
Speaker 2: the vice president of the United States. Waka waka hold on?
Speaker 2: Uh oh, what's your favorite Stephen King novel?
Speaker 1: Okay, so Needful Things is up there? Or I'm the
Speaker 1: Stan Needful Things are the stand mm. I'm not Mayors though,
Speaker 1: usually of like apocalyptic things, I just can't help it.
Speaker 1: That's usually my not Mariors. Oh.
Speaker 2: Somebody said, did you and your siblings work things out
Speaker 2: after everything that happens?
Speaker 1: Yes? Actually, my sister she had lost the baby last year,
Speaker 1: which had created an open way for me and her
Speaker 1: to work it out, because immediately I left my job.
Speaker 1: My job was like we're gonna fire you. At the time,
Speaker 1: I was working in nursing. They were like, we're gonna
Speaker 1: fire you if you can't come in tonight. I was like,
Speaker 1: fuck it, Like our family is more important. So I
Speaker 1: told my husband. I was like, we're going to you know,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm trying not to give away my location, but
Speaker 1: we're going to go upstate and we're going to go
Speaker 1: see her and watch the baby, you know, with her
Speaker 1: because they're pulling outful life support. And we went up
Speaker 1: there and me and my sister made way and she'd
Speaker 1: got better. I had no idea she'd been working on
Speaker 1: her recovery and stuff like that. But my youngest sibling,
Speaker 1: me and my youngest sibling have always been close, Like
Speaker 1: they moved a couple of states away, and I'd always
Speaker 1: been really close to them. Anything they needed, I was there.
Speaker 1: Just my middle sibling was the one we had a
Speaker 1: big fall out with. I just I couldn't be a
Speaker 1: part of what she's going through. And I tried and tried,
Speaker 1: but I just can't, like if it's it's at that point,
Speaker 1: But she finally got better, she'd lost the baby, and
Speaker 1: I was there by our side. I'd made sure, you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't even care that I lost the job. I
Speaker 1: lost the job to go be with her, make sure
Speaker 1: that she's okay through that. And my mom made it hard,
Speaker 1: but I was. I was there, and she really made
Speaker 1: up with me at that moment, and we're still pretty
Speaker 1: close now. So yeah, we all made up.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmmm. This is a question I'm very curious about.
Speaker 2: Someone said, after all this, are you still religious or spiritual?
Speaker 1: No? I hate to say that, I really do. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's moments, you know, in my nature where else I'll
Speaker 1: find myself praying. I can't help it. So m's instinctual.
Speaker 1: Because for those two years that I was married to
Speaker 1: somebody really religious and stuff, their family really helped me,
Speaker 1: and they were really good people, and they tried their
Speaker 1: best to make sure they didn't believe in depression or
Speaker 1: anything like that, but they tried to be there for me,
Speaker 1: and they taught me a lot of what being a
Speaker 1: grown up was. So I guess some parts of that
Speaker 1: are sentiment to me. And there will be moments that
Speaker 1: I'll catch myself praying. But beyond that. I struggle with
Speaker 1: that category just because of everything that's happened to me,
Speaker 1: and not that I'm dissing it or denying it. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to ever do that because I truly
Speaker 1: don't know what's beyond those realms and.
Speaker 2: All that.
Speaker 1: But I'd like to believe that there's something. You know, m.
Speaker 2: Autumn, thanks a lot for sharing this, for choosing my
Speaker 2: My Silly Gecko podcast to uh share share this story.
Speaker 2: I mean, you could easily have written your own book
Speaker 2: or you know, I mean you still you still could,
Speaker 2: you still could, but you know that thanks for choosing
Speaker 2: this show to tell this story on. This has been
Speaker 2: incredibly interesting. I'm sure. I'm sure that I actually even
Speaker 2: I I kind of peaked a little bit on the
Speaker 2: Twitch chat and and saw us saw a little bit
Speaker 2: of this. I'm sure that you're not alone and a
Speaker 2: lot of this situation and so you know, you're probably
Speaker 2: speaking on things that you know, I'm perhaps other people
Speaker 2: listen to the show UH are are familiar with. So
Speaker 2: you know, I I appreciate you sharing all of this
Speaker 2: and your husband for inspiring you to do it. How
Speaker 2: did it feel to and chat for an hour? And
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: Honestly, if I could say it, it's been good because
Speaker 1: you know, you could talk to someone you know all
Speaker 1: day and that's really wonderful. But talking to a stranger
Speaker 1: and telling your story is just different, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: It feels like you're telling something off your chest that
Speaker 1: you couldn't tell to anybody else, even though you know
Speaker 1: you could, but it's just kind of like a weight
Speaker 1: off your shoulders.
Speaker 2: Autumn, is there anything else, or any anything at all,
Speaker 2: any little aspect or any little whatever, anything at all
Speaker 2: that you wanna say to bring us home before we
Speaker 2: before we get out of here.
Speaker 1: Sure, if you're going through anything like this. Even in
Speaker 1: my teenage years, I remember thinking like this, You're not
Speaker 1: here just to survive. You're not you just I know
Speaker 1: in this moment it might feel like you have to survive,
Speaker 1: but you don't. You just keep pushing and eventually it'll
Speaker 1: get better. Maybe right now survival, but eventually it's not survival.
Speaker 1: You get to live, So don't don't feel like it's
Speaker 1: just survival. You get to live at some point.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm hm. Congratulations on uh uh living your life
Speaker 2: and uh, you know, being being as prosperous as you are,
Speaker 2: and uh, thank you again for sharing your story with us.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, thank you for listening.
Speaker 2: Of course, have a good rest of the night, Autumn.
Speaker 1: You too, Bye bye, bye bye.
Speaker 2: There was a super intro sting call. I don't know
Speaker 2: if I have any post call thoughts. I really don't. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I kind of feel like that that spoke for itself.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I have any I don't. I
Speaker 2: don't know if I have any anything else to add
Speaker 2: for that. That was cool. I don't. It's like it
Speaker 2: would be cool if like I don't know, I don't
Speaker 2: know how how we can help this person out, Like
Speaker 2: if she didn't exactly she didn't she I don't think
Speaker 2: she mentioned where she lives, right, is like okay, if well, look,
Speaker 2: I don't know if you own if you own some
Speaker 2: kind of business in the in the Southern United States
Speaker 2: and you want to, I don't know how we would
Speaker 2: do that. I don't know how logistically we would do this.
Speaker 2: But if you if you own some kind of business
Speaker 2: in the Southern United States or Appalachia and you think
Speaker 2: you could help this lady in the leave a YouTube comment,
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's logistically the best way to
Speaker 2: do this but leave a YouTube comment and then if
Speaker 2: she wants, she can make a YouTube account and hop
Speaker 2: in the YouTube comments. But yeah, maybe we can do
Speaker 2: it in the YouTube comments. That would be cool. I
Speaker 2: don't know. It would be sick to get somebody a
Speaker 2: job based on the Therapy Get Goo podcast. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't know. I feel like I don't
Speaker 2: I feel like we don't usually do shit like this,
Speaker 2: but I was. I was very touched by this, this
Speaker 2: woman's story. It was really cool and I really appreciate
Speaker 2: her sharing. All Right, we'll be back. Uh, don't don't worry, guys,
Speaker 2: We'll be back next episode with a story about someone
Speaker 2: uh diarrhea ing at prom or you know, having three
Speaker 2: testicles or something like that. Thank you all for listening
Speaker 2: to the Therapy Gecko podcast show thing and see you
Speaker 2: all around the universe. Goes on the line, taking your
Speaker 2: phone calls every night, never goes to ride.
Speaker 1: He's teaching you a loud to be life, but he's
Speaker 1: not
Speaker 2: Really an expert.