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Speaker 1: Hello, Hi.

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Speaker 2: Hey, what's your name?

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Speaker 1: My name's Autumn, Autumn.

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Speaker 2: What's going on? Autumn?

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Speaker 1: Hi? Hi? So I was just calling because my husband

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Speaker 1: watches you a lot, actually, and he's encouraged me to

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Speaker 1: call you all a couple of times just because my

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Speaker 1: life is pretty crazy. His not so much. But when

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Speaker 1: he hears mine, he's like, uh, maybe other people should

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Speaker 1: hear that.

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Speaker 2: Interesting? Interesting? Okay before I actually I want to hear

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Speaker 2: about why your life is crazy. But I before we

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Speaker 2: do that, can I, why is your husband's life not crazy?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: Can I? What's his deal?

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Speaker 1: He's actually like a really calm person. His family's really

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Speaker 1: calm people too. I Mean, I'm sure they had trouble

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Speaker 1: in the past and stuff, you know, like not my

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Speaker 1: business to the extent of like you know, what happened

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Speaker 1: before me, But they definitely am not like my family.

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Speaker 1: If I could emphasize that like my family, I'll get

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Speaker 1: into it. But they're a lot toned down versus that.

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Speaker 1: They're calm people. They believe in like loving their family,

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Speaker 1: things like that, like everybody sticks together us against the world,

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Speaker 1: My family wolves if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, where

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Speaker 1: where did you two grow up?

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Speaker 2: In different places?

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Speaker 1: We actually grew up down the road from each other,

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Speaker 1: but we didn't know it.

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Speaker 2: Oh really, when did you? Yeah, when did you guys

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Speaker 2: get together?

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Speaker 1: Probably when I was like twenty three, so I had

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Speaker 1: a little bit of a world of difference because he

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Speaker 1: went to college things like that, and his family gave

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Speaker 1: him that room. But my family had me out at

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Speaker 1: sixteen because they thought I was old enough to take

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Speaker 1: care of myself.

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Speaker 2: And how did that work out for you when you

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Speaker 2: were six?

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Speaker 1: Rough?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Rough?

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Speaker 1: When I was sixteen, I was married into a family

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Speaker 1: that who really into church. Yes, we live in the

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Speaker 1: Appalachian region and church is a big thing. So they

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Speaker 1: married me off because they thought that was what was

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Speaker 1: best for me. And it didn't work out because he

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Speaker 1: was a grown man and I was a.

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Speaker 2: Child whoa So your family married you off when you

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Speaker 2: were like they weren't like like they did. They kind

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Speaker 2: of like arranged marriage you.

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Speaker 1: Legally, you could say no, just because they kind of

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Speaker 1: went across the map of what is in the legalities

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Speaker 1: for our state. But essentially, yes, we had a family

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Speaker 1: down the road. There was a guy probably about seven

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Speaker 1: years older than me, and they married me off to him,

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Speaker 1: and the court allows it as long as you're sixteen,

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Speaker 1: and they married me off to him because they thought

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Speaker 1: that he would take care of me, and he was

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Speaker 1: in church and I had to follow by his rules.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I guess. I guess in a sense, yes,

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Speaker 1: you could say it it is legal, but in another sense,

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Speaker 1: he could say that it shouldn't be.

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Speaker 2: And how long were you in that four.

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Speaker 1: Till I was eighteen? I was eighteen, and he knew

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Speaker 1: that he was a really nice man, and he knew

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Speaker 1: that I didn't want that, and he let me go.

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Speaker 1: He was like, I don't think you really wanted to

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Speaker 1: be a part of this. He got me a car

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Speaker 1: and he gave me some money and was like, here,

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Speaker 1: I knew this was what you wanted. In lost and

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Speaker 1: he let me go.

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Speaker 2: And where'd you go?

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Speaker 1: Well, at first I went back to my family's house,

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Speaker 1: and that was hard. That was definitely hard because my

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Speaker 1: mom didn't take it well, and she was not really

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Speaker 1: religious or anything. I guess more so just wanted us

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Speaker 1: out of her house because she she really believed that

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Speaker 1: it was my job to take care of everything, and

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Speaker 1: I always had to be adult and I didn't care

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Speaker 1: to take on that responsibility until I guess, until I

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Speaker 1: was old enough to realize that I had other options,

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Speaker 1: and that's when the defiance began. I'd got a full

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Speaker 1: scholarship and stuff, and that was that was really hard

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Speaker 1: and she didn't want me to take it kind of

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Speaker 1: forced me in that situation. But I came back home.

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Speaker 1: She had thought on drugs really bad, and the next

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Speaker 1: thing I knew, probably after about two or three months,

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Speaker 1: the police were beating down theer door. And I was

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Speaker 1: still taking care of my siblings at the time, and

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Speaker 1: I'd done that the whole time that I was married off.

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Speaker 1: So the police came at our door, busted it down,

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Speaker 1: and we all had to go outside. And I never

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Speaker 1: experienced anything like that because I was kind of bounced

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Speaker 1: around a lot as a kid until my grandparents died,

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Speaker 1: and then when I moved back home with my mom,

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Speaker 1: you know, it kind of evened out, so I didn't

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Speaker 1: really expect it. She, I guess, had a wild space.

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Speaker 1: So we all had to get escorted outside of the

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Speaker 1: house by the police, and I didn't know what was

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Speaker 1: going on. I was only eighteen at the time. My husband,

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Speaker 1: he thought that I could handle what life had to

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Speaker 1: give me, and he knew that I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: be in that situation. I didn't know I was walking

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Speaker 1: back into a situation way worse. But I remember police

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Speaker 1: holding guns and stuff, and I didn't know what was

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Speaker 1: going on. After the whole event, they told us that

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Speaker 1: my mom had called and said nine people were holding

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Speaker 1: her hostage with guns or something like that. It's kind

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Speaker 1: of traumatic. I'm sorry, I guess trembly talking about it.

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Speaker 1: But there's a reason my husband thought that it would

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Speaker 1: be cool for me to call. So I don't usually

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Speaker 1: talk about this with other people. I promised that, like,

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Speaker 1: I'll get through the story, it just it might take

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Speaker 1: me a second.

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Speaker 2: Your life is you certainly delivered upon the premise that

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Speaker 2: your life was crazy? Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well before we go, let me ask you this, because

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Speaker 2: you said your husband wanted you to call in. Uh,

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Speaker 2: how do you feel telling this story brave?

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Speaker 1: Oh? I'm so sorry. I never realized that it was

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Speaker 1: a brave story, if that makes sense. Like I grew

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Speaker 1: up and I wanted to be a cop, so I

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Speaker 1: went into that film. I just didn't want kids to

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Speaker 1: experience what I experienced growing up. And there's a lot of backstory,

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Speaker 1: of course, but like I just always wanted to be brave.

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Speaker 1: For everybody else. And I knew that I was that

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Speaker 1: for my siblings and stuff. I didn't know that I

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Speaker 1: could I could have that vulnerability, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: So when me and my husband talked about it and stuff,

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Speaker 1: he listens to you all all the time. I just

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Speaker 1: didn't know that there'd be people that would listen to it,

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Speaker 1: if that makes sense. Like, you know, you you tell

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Speaker 1: a crazy story, people don't People don't always register it.

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Speaker 1: Like if you tell a story to your friends that

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Speaker 1: know your life, they're like, oh, yeah, I could see that.

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Speaker 1: I never realized that there was an outside viewer that

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Speaker 1: that would hear that and be like oh my gosh, wow,

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Speaker 1: like or that's that's crazy, like that that didn't happen,

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Speaker 1: you know. And so I was always president to always

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Speaker 1: tell my story. But I grew up wanting to be

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Speaker 1: a cop. So that's the field of for food and

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Speaker 1: just thinking I can make a change. But life happens,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes things happen to you, especially when they really

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Speaker 1: live in that you don't realize. I guess how your

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Speaker 1: storyline the miniscule in comparison, and so sharing it don't

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Speaker 1: feel like it's worth it, if that makes sense. But

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Speaker 1: my husband. He'll hear me talk sometimes, especially if you

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Speaker 1: have a few margarita's or anything like that, and he

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Speaker 1: was like, you need to you need to tell people this,

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Speaker 1: like you really really do. Like so, I guess that

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Speaker 1: encouraged me a lot, just hearing him talk to me

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Speaker 1: about it and tell me like, hey, you need to

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Speaker 1: maybe open up.

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Speaker 2: So so listen, I mean, if you want to. If

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Speaker 2: you do, you want to continue, Do you want to

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Speaker 2: keep talking about it? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Sure, Like I've been keeping up with you for a minute. Alright, cool,

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Speaker 1: trying to catch you live.

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Speaker 2: So tell you so, okay, sorry, So so you're you're eighteen,

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Speaker 2: the house gets raided, your mom goes off a little bit,

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Speaker 2: and uh what happens after that? Where do you go?

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Speaker 1: So the story is way crazy or I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: Go ahead, man, go ahead.

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Speaker 1: So rode off the rip. I am baffled. I remember

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Speaker 1: the police escorting us out of the house. Everybody is

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Speaker 1: getting it, Todd. I didn't know what was going on.

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Speaker 1: I had no idea my siblings they were children at

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Speaker 1: the time. I was eighteen, so my siblings at the

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Speaker 1: time were not They were way younger than me, and

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Speaker 1: my stepdad at the time didn't know what was going

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Speaker 1: on either. Turns out my mom and had been having

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Speaker 1: a secret affair with our neighbors down the road. I

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Speaker 1: guess they're going on with some polyamorous stuff kind of ordeal.

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Speaker 1: Not that I'm judging or anything, just that's what was occurring.

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Speaker 1: And so we get notified that they're involved, and the

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Speaker 1: police are arresting kind of like a couple of people,

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Speaker 1: and my stepdad still has no idea what's going on.

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Speaker 1: The cop, though at the time we lived in a

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Speaker 1: really small country area, was talking to me about it

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Speaker 1: and he was like, Hey, I'm just wanting to let

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Speaker 1: you know what's going on, and he ends up telling

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Speaker 1: me a little bit more than he should have. Whatever.

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Speaker 1: A couple of people get arrested, my mom's friends, the

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Speaker 1: one she was engaging them fair with, and they go

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Speaker 1: to jail. My mom doesn't go to jail, surprisingly, even

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Speaker 1: though she's high, and she ends up admitting that it

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Speaker 1: was meant so the next day, whatever life goes on,

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Speaker 1: she's pretending like nothing happened. And that's kind of a

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Speaker 1: thing with her, like it's always been a thing with her,

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Speaker 1: is that when she does these crazy things, she pretends

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Speaker 1: like it didn't happen, and those things had occurred once

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Speaker 1: before twice before in my childhood when I lived with

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Speaker 1: her before she married me off, and I was kind

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Speaker 1: of numb to it, if that makes sense. She'd always

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Speaker 1: been pretty out there and done crazy things like holding

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Speaker 1: guns to her head and stuff. You know, we live

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Speaker 1: in the South. That's a pretty common thing, having access

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Speaker 1: to those things, but it's not a pretty common thing

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Speaker 1: to have your parent hold a gun to their head

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Speaker 1: or anything like that. So it was kind of traumatic.

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Speaker 1: But you know, you don't know the definition of traumatic

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Speaker 1: at that point in time, Like you're like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: maybe I was just a traumatized I just didn't know.

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Speaker 1: But like at fifteen years old, seeing my mom hooker

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Speaker 1: a gun to her head, I just was like, this

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Speaker 1: is normal, okay, like the same, like the worst thing

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Speaker 1: I've seen, and so I just went about my day.

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Speaker 1: So to to me at eighteen, this happening, I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is fucked, because oh I'm sorry for cussing.

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Speaker 2: I don't say whatever. You can say whatever you want,

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Speaker 2: go ahead, okay, cool.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, this fucks for this happening, But

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Speaker 1: like I didn't know that it was out of the

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Speaker 1: realms of other people's lives because I still hadn't had

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Speaker 1: friends or anything like that. I had one best friend

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Speaker 1: through high school that knew my life. Yeah, and when

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Speaker 1: you when you were so scared?

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Speaker 2: So okay, So when you were eighteen, do you you

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Speaker 2: didn't have any friends up up at that.

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Speaker 1: Point, not too many like people. I had had acquaintances,

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Speaker 1: but I was really scared to make friends.

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Speaker 2: Were you you were you were like, were you like

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Speaker 2: going to public high school?

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Speaker 1: Yes? Yes? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Okay, and so what were Yeah what was it like

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Speaker 2: for you like in school? And why were you afraid

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Speaker 2: to make friends?

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Speaker 1: So when I was younger, I tried to have friends,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't, you know, like how you talk about

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Speaker 1: your life when you're a kid and you tell your

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Speaker 1: friends what's going on, Like you're like, my family's doing that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. A lot of them, once they heard what my

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Speaker 1: family was doing, wouldn't let me hang out with their

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Speaker 1: kids anymore, or the vice versa of if they did

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Speaker 1: hear it, they got so overly concerned that it would

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Speaker 1: scare me. Because my mom was always she was the

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Speaker 1: best way to explain it is and I hate to

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Speaker 1: compare it to this, but like a dictator, like if

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Speaker 1: you told anybody what was going on, you basically got

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Speaker 1: punished at the max, Like like there was this one

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Speaker 1: time I didn't understand what cheating was, and she was

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Speaker 1: cheating on her husband and I was going to church

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Speaker 1: at the time. I was a kid. We lived in

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Speaker 1: the Bible Belt. I had accidentally told on her for cheating.

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Speaker 1: And when I say accidentally, it truly was an accident.

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Speaker 1: I was thirteen years old. My grandparents raised me, so

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Speaker 1: I didn't know no better, Like my grandparents were really

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Speaker 1: about religion. And my grandpa had asked me if someone

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Speaker 1: had been coming over to our house and I just

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Speaker 1: told him, yeah. I didn't want to lie, because he

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Speaker 1: told me lying was thee him in that moment, thirteen

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Speaker 1: years old, you don't really think before you speak here

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Speaker 1: anything like that, and she lockt me in the room

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Speaker 1: for three days with no food or anything. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: it really scared me. So you kind of learned how

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Speaker 1: to what your peas and hughes of what to do

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Speaker 1: and what not to do. And I didn't know this

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Speaker 1: wasn't normal for the most part, Like honestly, I thought

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Speaker 1: this was how life was until I was way older,

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Speaker 1: Like I had no idea. And that's why my husband's

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Speaker 1: always like Autumn, like you need to you need to

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Speaker 1: just maybe talk about it, like let it out something.

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Speaker 1: But like to me that that was how life was

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Speaker 1: like that that was my in and out like I

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Speaker 1: didn't I didn't know, like I didn't know other kids

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Speaker 1: didn't go through that, So I thought it was normal

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Speaker 1: to talk talk about and then I realized it wasn't.

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Speaker 1: So it made me watch who my friends were. I

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Speaker 1: got scared, like who would tell the guy it's counselor

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Speaker 1: and if it would get back to my mom and

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Speaker 1: if she'd punish me, And those were always my fears,

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Speaker 1: like if she would punish me like I was. I

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Speaker 1: was just scared, and it made me so scared to

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Speaker 1: do anything wrong like I was. I was terrified of it.

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Speaker 2: M So, man, all right, so you're eighteen, and you

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Speaker 2: you don't even have like much of a network outside

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Speaker 2: of your immediate family at this point to even really

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Speaker 2: give you, as you're saying, much of a reference as

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Speaker 2: to what is normal, like I like, because you know,

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Speaker 2: even like the ability to like go over to a

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Speaker 2: friend's house and like just just just get any bit

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Speaker 2: of a fucking idea of like what life is like

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Speaker 2: outside of your your own you know, is like tough

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Speaker 2: when you're in that when you're in that situation, so

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Speaker 2: it becomes like, yeah, you start to believe like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this is just how shit is. Yeah, that makes a

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Speaker 2: lot of sense when when you're eighteen and the cops

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Speaker 2: come and shit, where where do you go after that?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: I guess, how did you? Cause I know you you

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Speaker 2: kind of well how old are you now? By the way,

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Speaker 2: if you don't mind me asking? Okay, all right, so

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Speaker 2: from eighteen, what's the story of Like, like, I guess,

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Speaker 2: so did the police they arrested? They arrested your mom?

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Speaker 1: Right? No, Actually, we live in such a small town

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Speaker 1: that it turns out that my mom knew the officer

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Speaker 1: and yeah, they were like, hey, what's going on. Ended

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Speaker 1: up the people she was having an affair with had

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Speaker 1: a myth lab so she she told on them for

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Speaker 1: having that and they ended up getting arrested. And I

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Speaker 1: don't know what the technicalities of it were or anything

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Speaker 1: like that, but they lived down the road work where

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Speaker 1: we were like at the time, and they were related

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Speaker 1: to my fip dad and my stepdad. Total who knows,

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Speaker 1: like I was, I was only eighteen at the time.

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Speaker 1: I did and understand, you know, how connections work or

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Speaker 1: anything like that, So I don't I don't know the

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Speaker 1: ins and outs of it, but I knew she didn't

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Speaker 1: get in trouble because she got to stay home and

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Speaker 1: they got arrested. So much.

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Speaker 2: How much longer did you live with her at the house?

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Speaker 1: Probably three days? So after the second day, she had

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Speaker 1: threaten to shoot my brother at the time, who was twelve.

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Speaker 1: She had told him that I took you into this

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Speaker 1: world and I'll bring you out. And I remember hearing that.

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Speaker 1: I was just like, I can't with this no more,

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Speaker 1: like you know, like I took care of my siblings

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Speaker 1: all my life. Like in my head, I was like,

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Speaker 1: these are my kids. It just it done something to me,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't anymore. So I remember

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Speaker 1: packing at the time, and this probably something so silly,

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Speaker 1: but I packed my I had like a Peer three

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Speaker 1: and a couple other devices and not many things, you know,

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Speaker 1: because I just came back home. I packed it in

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Speaker 1: my car. And I'd got my first job because like

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Speaker 1: I said, I was married off at sixteen, and he

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Speaker 1: didn't believe in a woman working or anything. So i'd

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Speaker 1: got a job. I was at my point of I'm

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Speaker 1: going to do this like I'm going to figure it out.

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Speaker 1: So I got a job, and I was going to

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Speaker 1: figure it out like that was my mindset. So I

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Speaker 1: I sall my stuff in my car, I ran off.

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Speaker 1: I slept a couple of days in a Walmart parking

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Speaker 1: lot with all my stuff in my car, going to

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Speaker 1: work the next day. And then my best friend from

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Speaker 1: high school, the one singular friend I did have, I

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Speaker 1: was like, hey, do you want a roommate? Like, we'll

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Speaker 1: find a place. And I started looking at the newspaper

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Speaker 1: and I found a place quickly, and God just wanted

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Speaker 1: a four hundred and fifty dollars down post. I was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: that's nothing. And we did that and I went from

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Speaker 1: there and got that.

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Speaker 2: And what's going on? How many siblings do you have?

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Speaker 1: So I have three that I know of, but I

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Speaker 1: don't know my biological dad that well. So when we

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Speaker 1: did a twenty three or whatever DNA test, it popped

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Speaker 1: up a couple. I got to meet two of my

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Speaker 1: dad's children. They said, we have men, but I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, and I've never really met them. But

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Speaker 1: by my mom.

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Speaker 2: I had two that I got to know, and so, okay,

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Speaker 2: so you're living with your friends, you found a four

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Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars, you found an apartment you can afford,

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Speaker 2: and and you know what's going on? Yeah, I guess.

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Speaker 2: So that must have been really difficult because it's like,

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Speaker 2: what's going on with your siblings at the time, because

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Speaker 2: it's like, you got it's hard enough to fucking like

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Speaker 2: be able to like fend for yourself in that situation.

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Speaker 2: Are you Are you still at this time, like keeping

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Speaker 2: contact with your siblings and stuff? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I am so. At the time I was messaging them

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Speaker 1: and stuff, and I had got ahold of my youngest sibling, Kyla.

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Speaker 1: She had told me like what was going on stuff

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Speaker 1: like that, and how hard she's dealing with it. My

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Speaker 1: middle sibling, she had dealt with my mom a law

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Speaker 1: and was kind of close to my mom. We didn't

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Speaker 1: know about what triangulation was, so we had went to

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Speaker 1: therapy a couple of piunds each of us, but I

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Speaker 1: went to therapy the most. So we learned about what

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Speaker 1: triangulation was, and it's called her it. Basically, the epitony

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Speaker 1: of it is hitting your siblings against each other for

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Speaker 1: whatever benefit it is for the parents and who. So

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Speaker 1: at the time they were my mom was triangulating for

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Speaker 1: a minute. It didn't happen long because she kind of

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Speaker 1: realized that I was her financial gain and stuff. But

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Speaker 1: she was like your older sisters, she's she left us.

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Speaker 1: Look what she did. She left us, and she left

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Speaker 1: you all here alone. And so my younger sibling was

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Speaker 1: telling me this, and that kind of distressed me because

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Speaker 1: I was the one that would get them up for

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Speaker 1: the school bus and get them ready for school, get

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Speaker 1: them off the school bus and all that stuff. So

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Speaker 1: I didn't really understand what was going on at times. So, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, it distressed me because I was like, how

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Speaker 1: there she talked bad about me after all that she did,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know what was going on in reality,

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00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,439
Speaker 1: but from what I was seeing at that point and

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Speaker 1: at that time, was that she was talking awful about me.

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Speaker 1: But that eventually died when she realized that I would

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Speaker 1: be the one that would be taking care of my

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Speaker 1: siblings and stuff. But sorry, he's just her my husband.

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00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, is that your husband saying what's up?

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00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 1: Is it okay? If you gives a little shout out sure. Yeah,

396
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 1: he has to go to work, so I'm sorry I've

397
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Speaker 1: been talking while he's been asleep for work.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 1: I've been listening to your podcast for like I don't

400
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,199
Speaker 1: want to say, like four or five months now, but

401
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,439
Speaker 1: I've just been binge listening to it at work, and

402
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 1: you're doing good stuff.

403
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Speaker 2: Man, Thanks man. I appreciate it, appreciate it. Have a

404
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 2: have a do you do? Where are you going?

405
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 1: I work at Walmart?

406
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,679
Speaker 2: Kick ass? Have a have a have a nice day

407
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 2: at work. Brother?

408
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 1: All right, thanks man, later, brother, thank you. I appreciate

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00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 1: that so much. I'm sorry.

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00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 2: Just that's all good. That's all good.

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00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:29,439
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, they my mom is kind. At the

412
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 1: moment they were kids, they she put it on against me,

413
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 1: like I was abandoning them. And I never realized at

414
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 1: that point what that that move was. I didn't know, like,

415
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 1: I had no idea that that was what was occurrent.

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00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:51,880
Speaker 1: The months later, she I guess came around. It's like, oh,

417
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 1: you know, she's not that bad. I guess that was wrong.

418
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 1: They reached back out to me and was like, hey,

419
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: we need help, and so US started sending the money.

420
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 1: I didn't know better. I was just worried. So I

421
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 1: started sending.

422
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 2: On money you send them You're sending money over to

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00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 2: your mom?

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00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, for the kids. Mm.

425
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 2: And where and where are you working at this time?

426
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Speaker 2: Like how are you making money?

427
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: I was working at a factory. It was just a

428
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 1: little tawny, small town factory. Wasn't much at the time.

429
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 1: Minimum wage was seven twenty five. We made like a

430
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: dollar more, it was like eight twenty five. But I

431
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: was just I was just worried. So I was scared,

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Speaker 1: honestly that my siblings wouldn't get the mm hmmmm hmm.

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Speaker 2: And are you are you at this time? Like are

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00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 2: you are you having do you have enough to like

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00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 2: take care of like both yourself? Like do you have

436
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 2: enough to take care of yourself and have enough leftover

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00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 2: that you're sending to your to your mom.

438
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 1: On a really no, like if I'm if I'm being

439
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 1: quite honest, I remember having that conversation and being like, hey,

440
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: like I don't I don't have a lot of money.

441
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: But in her head she viewed it as we were working,

442
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: so you should So I didn't like correlate that that

443
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 1: was wrong because I was like, this is my family.

444
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 2: Mm hm.

445
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 1: I also became pregnant, probably about two months later, I

446
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: had yeah, like probably about two months later from sending

447
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 1: all that money. The best friend that I had roommated

448
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: with I kind of formulated a relationship with, but we'd

449
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 1: been best friends in fifth grade, so I thought it

450
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: was safe, and so we were like, hey, if we're

451
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 1: friends and we're living together, we should just date, like

452
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 1: and that was that. So we decided to be together,

453
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: and then I found out I was pregnant.

454
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, mm hmm.

455
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 1: I know it's a lot. I'm so sorry.

456
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 2: No, no, if, I mean, if, if you're down to

457
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 2: keep telling your life story, I remain I remained all

458
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 2: ears for as long as you want to keep talking.

459
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 1: Okay, so as long as you're good, I'm good. I all.

460
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, you don't. You don't have to

461
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 2: feel bad. I've remained all ears for as long as

462
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 2: you want to keep talking.

463
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 1: It's a really long story, so I'm going to apologize.

464
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 1: An event. So that was my best friend. We've been

465
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 1: best friends since eighth grade. So there's a little bit

466
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: backstory to that. My my gallbladder had failed and had

467
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 1: attached to my liver and so everything started shutting down

468
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: at once. But my mom had said I was faking

469
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 1: it when I was in high school, so I was

470
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,320
Speaker 1: getting sicker and sicker. But his mom was the only

471
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 1: one that gave a heck about me. So she was like, hey,

472
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 1: something's like she worked at a hospital and she's like,

473
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 1: something's really wrong with her. But my parents didn't listen.

474
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 1: They were always like, she's faking it. She's faking it.

475
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: She just wants attention. So there's there's a lot of

476
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 1: backstory there too. So when my gallbladder had finally attached

477
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 1: to my liver, I passed out at school and an

478
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: ambulance is called and I had to have an emergency

479
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 1: store or surgery. And when that had happened, I guess

480
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: that kind of brought me and him pretty close that

481
00:31:56,720 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: you know, our friendship was like tight, like you know,

482
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: and his parents were close to me and stuff. But

483
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 1: you know, at the time, I knew I didn't want

484
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: a boyfriend or anything like that. So I was like,

485
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: uh no, I hadn't at the time knew what my

486
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 1: parents had in store for me with the whole marriage stuff.

487
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: But life goes on and he's still my friends throughout

488
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: all of that. We're friends, We move in together. He

489
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 1: had a girlfriend I had a boyfriend at the time.

490
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 1: We were both adults. I was eighteen, he was eighteen.

491
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: But it just kind of coincided that we worked out.

492
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: We both went through bad breakups or whatever, and we

493
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 1: were like, okay, we'll be together. While we were living together,

494
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: and we ended up having a kid, and we were like, okay,

495
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: so we'll just make this work. We got married and

496
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 1: you know where we live. If you're having a baby,

497
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 1: you get married. That's just that. So we got married.

498
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 1: We had a son with some birth effects and stuff,

499
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: and it was just really hard. We didn't know what

500
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: to do. It was It was scary, really scary. And

501
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: he's not a bad person or anything. I'm not going

502
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 1: to diss him at all. In the we just didn't

503
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: know what we were doing. We were both kids, and

504
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 1: he knew about how my family dumby, how they had

505
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 1: kind of arranged a marriage and stuff, and his family

506
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,720
Speaker 1: is really understanding and they kind of took me under

507
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: their wing and they were really good to me. So

508
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: I felt like I had it made, but I didn't

509
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: know what battles I had ahead of me. So I

510
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 1: went through postpartum really bad because I I didn't know

511
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 1: what I was doing, and I didn't have parents to

512
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: help me along that journey or anything. And it was

513
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 1: extra hard because you're having a kid with birth effects.

514
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,760
Speaker 1: You want help and you don't know what you're doing,

515
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: and you especially don't know what you're doing with that

516
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:23,280
Speaker 1: extra thing at it on. But he turned out great,

517
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 1: Like he's a wonderful kid. He could do everything a

518
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 1: normal kid can. He went above and beyond that, like

519
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 1: and so I'm so proud of him. But at the

520
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: time I had I had no clue what I was doing.

521
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: I was terrified, like absolutely scared, Like I was like,

522
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:47,479
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let this kid down. Like I especially didn't

523
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 1: know what I was doing because like I'd never seen

524
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 1: a parent be a good parent, Like how do I

525
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 1: be a good parent to my kids?

526
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 2: Right right right?

527
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 1: And if I'm not letting you get a word in

528
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:02,919
Speaker 1: stop me because.

529
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 2: No, no, no, please keep going, keep going please.

530
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 1: So it's hard. I went into counseling. I got on

531
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:19,879
Speaker 1: some antidepressants and stuff, but I was so scared of

532
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 1: any communication because of what my family was like that

533
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: I would refuse it at every curve. I was like,

534
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: even the antidepressant, which is so silly in hindsight, but

535
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 1: at the time, you know, you really don't know, like

536
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 1: you truly don't know. So I was like, oh my gosh,

537
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: this is drugs. So I was like this bad freaked out,

538
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 1: flushed all my intodepressants down the toilet because I was like,

539
00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 1: I've seen my mom take kills, so I was like,

540
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to be like her. So I really

541
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 1: didn't know what I was what I was doing. So

542
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:14,239
Speaker 1: that that took a lot of mental episodes of figuring out.

543
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 1: And I've had a lot of help with his family

544
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 1: along the way because they knew how my family was. Like,

545
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: they were like, we know you don't have support, we

546
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:26,439
Speaker 1: know you don't have people. And to this day, I'm

547
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 1: still so thankful because if it hadn't been for them,

548
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't made it, like I probably liked honestly,

549
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 1: if I'm telling the truth, wouldn't be here. So I'm

550
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: really grateful for them.

551
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 2: And so when do you think when hmmm, yeah, I

552
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 2: guess yeah, No, I mean get well, no, please, I

553
00:36:57,239 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 2: mean I mean, please keep going tell the story or whatever,

554
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 2: because I want to because I'm fascinated. I want to

555
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 2: hear how you're doing now. But I want to wait

556
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 2: because I want to. I want you to, you know,

557
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 2: if you have a whole timeline you want to go through.

558
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 2: I'm I'm I'm I'm yeah, I'm curious.

559
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you got time, I'm here to talk. Coach.

560
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:18,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got time. We got time.

561
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:26,840
Speaker 1: So this journey goes on way on. So at that time,

562
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: I was probably twenty one. I have a three year

563
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: old at that point. Okay, so that's right about where

564
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: I left off. I'm twenty seven now, so that's about

565
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:38,399
Speaker 1: six years that I got to go. If you're good

566
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 1: with listen, yea.

567
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:40,280
Speaker 2: Yeah.

568
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: So I thought I wanted to be a cop, and

569
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: that was what my heart was set on, and I

570
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 1: was like, hey, I'm going to be a cop. I'm

571
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 1: gonna do this. I want to make a difference in

572
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,959
Speaker 1: kids worlds, in my world. Like you know, in my head,

573
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, I'm gonna be the thing that

574
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 1: saved me when I was a kid, because, trust me,

575
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:07,880
Speaker 1: along my childhood costs. And I'm not like, you know,

576
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 1: backing any kind of movement in this by saying and

577
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 1: I'm just meaning honestly, like for my perspective, in my time,

578
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: I went through a lot of abuse, and the only

579
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 1: thing that saved me was people showing up. And there

580
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 1: was really no outside force beyond that. I didn't have

581
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 1: family that stepped in or anything like that. So I

582
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 1: want to be I want I want to be that,

583
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,320
Speaker 1: and I thought that I really can make a difference.

584
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,959
Speaker 1: But it turns out in this area where we live,

585
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 1: you can't look that. That's just that everybody knows everybody.

586
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 1: They let them off. They like if somebody's hurting their kids,

587
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: they just turn the other way. You know, if they

588
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 1: know them, they're like, hey, I went to high school

589
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 1: with them. They just they just don't care. And I

590
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 1: went to that field for a while a couple of years,

591
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:05,319
Speaker 1: and it was just taking a huge toll on me personally,

592
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 1: and I just couldn't take it no more. I was like,

593
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: I can't, I can't do this. I absolutely cannot do this.

594
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 1: I can't watch everything that I went through and go

595
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 1: on to other people. And so I was like, I

596
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 1: have to sit down, I have to take a breather.

597
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: So my husband I eventually moved on from my son's

598
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 1: father because just life happens, and me and my son's

599
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 1: father had separated. Who wouldn't like dramatic or anything. We

600
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 1: just went on our own paths and we'd peacefully delegated,

601
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 1: like hey, like we were just friends growing up and

602
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 1: we should have always been friends, and we've peacefully done it,

603
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: you know, and that was the best thing ever, Like

604
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 1: to me was just you know, you always hear about yeah,

605
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 1: so my whole life had been drama, but to me, it, yeah,

606
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,720
Speaker 1: it's kind of like a breath of fresh air.

607
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,759
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, that's the

608
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,240
Speaker 2: vibe I'm getting too, is like that's after so much

609
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 2: like strife in your life to have you know, this event,

610
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 2: because it's just you know, happens of people like growing

611
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 2: apart and moving on from each other. But to have

612
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 2: it happen in a in a peaceful way, it's like,

613
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 2: oh things, can you know, be chill at least for

614
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 2: once year.

615
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 1: I mean, I won't say it was an easy thing

616
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:38,840
Speaker 1: like at all, Like I will not because you know,

617
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 1: I don't want to discredit anybody that's going through right now.

618
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 1: But it definitely was hard. There was a lot of

619
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 1: stuff that had happened, and you know, I hold no

620
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 1: resentment and that's the best feeling to me, is like

621
00:40:54,600 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 1: oh good, Like so I'm out of that. I'm like,

622
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,879
Speaker 1: at least I took something from my childhood and made

623
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: it useful, like you know, I didn't want to be

624
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 1: like that, and I became better like and something. Okay, good,

625
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 1: good for you. But the process after was not easy

626
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 1: because going back home after everything I'd been through growing up.

627
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,839
Speaker 2: Oh, she went back with your mom?

628
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 1: Yes? And yeah, so back to my mom.

629
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 2: Okay, so so you so you you start, you were

630
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 2: living with your sister and then you went back to

631
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 2: your mom.

632
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:42,399
Speaker 1: Yes. So my sister went through a bad divorce when

633
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 1: I decided to go through mine, and I've lived with

634
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 1: her for a couple of months, but my sister was like,

635
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 1: I can't, you know, do my stuff anymore, so I

636
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 1: have to go. So I was like, oh my god,

637
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 1: I have no other option now, like I'm I'm just

638
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,879
Speaker 1: getting on my feet, So now what what do I do?

639
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 1: And it ended up with being back at my mom,

640
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 1: which sucked wholeheartedly.

641
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 2: And at this at this point, so what's what's your

642
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 2: kind of custody arrangement? Uh? At this point with with

643
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 2: your with your ex husband.

644
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 1: Split perfect split. So he's like, as long as you're good,

645
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 1: I'm good, and we would arrange so if something was

646
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,360
Speaker 1: going on, which he knew my family and stuff, he

647
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,240
Speaker 1: knew how they were, and he was like, if something's

648
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,839
Speaker 1: going on, you just tell me and we'll make it work,

649
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: you know, like if if something's going on your way,

650
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 1: like we'll just delay it whatever. And we det with

651
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: the grandmother a lot more than anything else, like on

652
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 1: his side, so if something was going on, we knew

653
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 1: Grandma could step in and help m hm hm, which wort.

654
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 2: So, yeah, what's it like back at that brief stint,

655
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:17,919
Speaker 2: back at your mom's not good?

656
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 1: My sister. I took more so worried for my sister

657
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 1: at the time than me, which was just I couldn't

658
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:32,360
Speaker 1: help it. I should have been worrying about my process

659
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 1: and my own emotions, but it's just I can't, like

660
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: I can't like I would always just take over for

661
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 1: her or whoever I was around at that moment, so

662
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 1: I could be dealing with the sky falling and I

663
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 1: was like, what's going on with you, Like, let's tell you,

664
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 1: like whatever, yeah, which didn't give me the ability to

665
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:01,320
Speaker 1: process what I wanted to process. But at the same time,

666
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,399
Speaker 1: I was just like, I can't process what I'm dealing

667
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 1: and so I want to process what you're dealing with them,

668
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 1: So I guess more so, I was worried about her

669
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: and what she was like. Her and her man ended

670
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 1: up working out temporarily, so we went back to her

671
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 1: house and we stayed there for a while, and she

672
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 1: was good with it. I was good with it, but

673
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 1: my mom was just my mom angry, didn't want I

674
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 1: guess one of us to succeed or something. That's just

675
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,960
Speaker 1: her mentality at the time. It would bounce back and

676
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 1: forth between me and her, and so we would just

677
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 1: kind of talk to each other and trust each other

678
00:44:54,920 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 1: more so than we would whatever outsourced help we were getting. Okay,

679
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 1: we'll figure it out. And that's when I'm at my

680
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 1: husband now. I had two jobs. I worked at a

681
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 1: jael and I worked at a liquor store, which is

682
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,239
Speaker 1: the funniest thing I know.

683
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 2: We worked at it, what you said, a jail.

684
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I was the CEO and then by night,

685
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 1: and then I was a liquor store clerk by day.

686
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 1: So a lot of the times i'd have people that

687
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: I had in jail at not be seeing me.

688
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 2: The next day.

689
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 1: But I was cool with it, like you know, like

690
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:53,760
Speaker 1: I've always been like, really, just hey, whatever goes with flow,

691
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 1: you know, But that didn't always work in my favors.

692
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 1: So I had two jobs, you know, I wentn't home

693
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 1: a lot anyway, so I was like, no, we'll figure

694
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 1: out what it's on at home on my time, you know,

695
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 1: if you want. And shoes cool with it because she

696
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 1: they always let me figure out their problems, and which

697
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 1: is my downfall because that kind of puts a lot

698
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: on my plate. But at the same time, it's also

699
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:29,440
Speaker 1: worrisome because I'm also like, I know, we didn't have

700
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 1: parents that guided us growing up, so I can't help

701
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 1: but to worry about them until just stay like do

702
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:40,319
Speaker 1: you all know what you're doing? Like, do you all

703
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 1: any hell you know? But so at the time we

704
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,799
Speaker 1: were figuring out, she went back home whatever. I met

705
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 1: my husband at my job, my second job, not my

706
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 1: friend job. We knew each other growing up, but we

707
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: didn't really know each other, so wet me and at

708
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 1: the liquor store, not the jail. But it was all

709
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 1: because of a proposal, so they were bonding stuff for

710
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 1: the proposal. So I really never gave him a chance.

711
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 1: I was always like, yeah, I'm married. At the time,

712
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:29,759
Speaker 1: before and then afterward, I was like, I'm divorced and

713
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:31,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to really talk to nobody.

714
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,879
Speaker 2: I'm sorry once say I just wanted to. So I just, uh,

715
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 2: your current husband comes in. He's buying stuff for a.

716
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:45,400
Speaker 1: Proposal, yes, for his brother.

717
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:48,919
Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, okay, I thought he met I thought

718
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 2: he met you, like okay, no, no, no, no, no, it's

719
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 2: I was just like, did he way more crazy? Yeah?

720
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 2: I thought I was about to get right because I

721
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 2: thought I was like, oh, he met you while buying

722
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 2: alcohol for a proposal for his wife. Okay, all right,

723
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:09,160
Speaker 2: got you? Got you?

724
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 1: Never had a serious relationship like maybe once but beyond me. No,

725
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 1: it's his brother, but at the time we we've been

726
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:26,360
Speaker 1: friends before, working together and stuff like in the past.

727
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: But like I was always like no, you know, like

728
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 1: I'm I'm very like consistent with what I feel, and

729
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 1: I'm like if I'm married, I'm like no, And then

730
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: you know, like things like that, like average people stuff.

731
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 2: So you you so you knew of this, So this,

732
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 2: I mean it's a small town, like you know of

733
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 2: this guy before he he comes into the store. Okay,

734
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 2: got you got you?

735
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 1: Yes, he supposed to me want to talsk with like know, no,

736
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 1: I shut him down every time, you know, And I

737
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,359
Speaker 1: never felt bad about it until i'd got with him,

738
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 1: but I'd always shut it down like no, no, no, no,

739
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 1: no no. But this time, I guess you just got

740
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 1: lucky you because we I'd been divorced for a minute

741
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:22,720
Speaker 1: and all my friends, like I'm gonna brag on them,

742
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: like all my friends are so pretty, and he came

743
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,760
Speaker 1: into my job and I'm used to all my friends

744
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 1: getting all the attention, like and and I'm not knocking myself,

745
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:38,359
Speaker 1: but you know, like I was just really not there,

746
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,880
Speaker 1: if that makes sense. Like I'd always be in the background,

747
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 1: and he had walked past him like talking to him,

748
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:48,319
Speaker 1: and he was like hey at them, man, I was like,

749
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,840
Speaker 1: oh hey, And then that won me over like instantly,

750
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 1: like that he went past the Malibu barbies and went

751
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 1: to me.

752
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,359
Speaker 2: That like, so you had kind of this feeling that

753
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 2: like I guess, uh of like oh, like you know,

754
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,720
Speaker 2: you're you're not usually the one getting getting the attention,

755
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:14,240
Speaker 2: and finally somebody, you know, pays you some mind.

756
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, because everybody in the small town don't pay attention

757
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,239
Speaker 1: to the goth girl. They're like devil worshipers, stay in

758
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:22,800
Speaker 1: your corner.

759
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,920
Speaker 2: But that But but the goth, the goth girl vibe

760
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,399
Speaker 2: was what drew him to you.

761
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: Yes, So I was like, okay, very nice.

762
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 2: Very nice, very nice, very nice, very nice.

763
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:40,399
Speaker 1: And I knew he played like music and stuff like that,

764
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 1: so I was like, okay, so it's not just like

765
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 1: a kink or a feish or something like that, you know,

766
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 1: like like this might actually be what he's into som

767
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 1: and so I was like, Okay, I guess I'll give

768
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: this man a chance. Anyway, we hit it off after that,

769
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 1: and he was kind of my saving grace. And I'm

770
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,000
Speaker 1: not trying to like, you know, fluff it, but he

771
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 1: really was because I had no idea what normal was like.

772
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 1: So when I met him, he kind of like it

773
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 1: threw me by surprise because it was like why is

774
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 1: this meant so not to me? Like like who are you?

775
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Like he started seeing me and

776
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 1: he was doing so many nice things for me, and

777
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 1: I was like what the fuck, Like who the fuck

778
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 1: do you think you are? Like, you know, just on

779
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:41,359
Speaker 1: the defense, like I couldn't help it. That's just how

780
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 1: it was, like, you know, like nobody's nice unless they

781
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,800
Speaker 1: have an alter year motives like in my head, I

782
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 1: thought my mess and he kind of took me under

783
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:56,480
Speaker 1: his wing and he was like, hey, like you know,

784
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 1: I want you to open up. I want you to

785
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 1: share and start. So I started telling him how my

786
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 1: life was. I and he kind of knew who my

787
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:09,359
Speaker 1: family was things like that, just because we live in

788
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: the smallest town. And he had no idea because my

789
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 1: mom paints this picture perfect like Facebook life. I don't

790
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 1: have social media, so I don't know, but from what

791
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 1: I understand, picture perfect whatever. And so I'm telling him

792
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:32,280
Speaker 1: and I'm showing him like I have, you know, proof

793
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:34,839
Speaker 1: and all that. I'm like, this is what's going on

794
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:38,160
Speaker 1: in my life and he's like a gas like I

795
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:42,719
Speaker 1: can't believe that, Like and I guess it just blew

796
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,880
Speaker 1: me away because it's like, what do you mean? Like,

797
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 1: you know, I never really dated. I never I'd had

798
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 1: two people in my life and that was it that

799
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 1: I'd been with my whole adulthood of you know, serious things.

800
00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 1: And I was like, what do you mean like to

801
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:05,439
Speaker 1: say to saying something you heard? And the more I'd

802
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 1: tell him, he'd just be like, what, like you're you're joking,

803
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 1: and then he'd see it, like he would actually get

804
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 1: to see physical proof of it, knowing my family, and

805
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 1: it just kind of blew him away because he didn't

806
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:26,880
Speaker 1: realize people could really be like that, like because he

807
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:31,319
Speaker 1: was used to his family being nice and take it

808
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 1: on me in and like every moment that like someone

809
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 1: was feeling something, everybody would talk about it, things like that.

810
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 1: He just he'd never seen anything like that. So he

811
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 1: was like a ghast. I guess m h.

812
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 2: And hmmm. So this is when you were twenty three

813
00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:02,400
Speaker 2: year this is about four years ago that you guys, yeah,

814
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:04,320
Speaker 2: not not me for the first time, but but do

815
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 2: connects but your reconnects yeah, yeah, and then and then

816
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:14,360
Speaker 2: how does that relationship flourish? Do you guys move in together?

817
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 2: Like what what's the sort of the timeline of that.

818
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 1: So at a certain point we do move in together.

819
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 1: We move in and everything's going good and stuff. But

820
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 1: he's starting to get to really see how my family is.

821
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:33,280
Speaker 1: Like he's he's like, oh my gosh, Like I didn't

822
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 1: I didn't know. And at the time, my sister had

823
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:43,480
Speaker 1: ran off, which this is another side story, she had

824
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:46,960
Speaker 1: ran off from that prior relationship and she'd got into

825
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 1: some wild stuff, and I guess kind of re enacted

826
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:55,840
Speaker 1: my mom a little bit because she got into a

827
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 1: bad situation. I'd offered to help her and stuff, but

828
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 1: I didn't know what she was doing. So he was

829
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,880
Speaker 1: like seeing it and he was like, no, we can't

830
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 1: get involved with it beyond that point. Like before that,

831
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,959
Speaker 1: we could offer her somewhere to go, but we didn't

832
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 1: know what she was doing at the time, which was

833
00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 1: some drugs and stuff like that, and he was like, no,

834
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:23,960
Speaker 1: we can't help her be on that point because we

835
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,880
Speaker 1: don't know what she's bringing in. He kind of got

836
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:32,919
Speaker 1: to see how everything was going on that part, which

837
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:35,879
Speaker 1: was scary because I never encountered that with my own

838
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:40,480
Speaker 1: siblings and stuff. And then my mom would get involved,

839
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 1: and my dad was friends with his dad growing up

840
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 1: and stuff, so there was always a lot of them stuck.

841
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 2: Up and auto your dad, your dad was friends with

842
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,319
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if I'm messing this up here, but your

843
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:04,839
Speaker 2: dad was friends with your sister's with your with your

844
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, mine, Oh okay, okay, that's what I thought.

845
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:11,399
Speaker 2: That's what I thought. I thought your okay, your dad

846
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 2: was friends with your current husband's dad growing.

847
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:19,839
Speaker 1: Up yet, OK, so we had we had no idea though,

848
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:23,319
Speaker 1: like we knew kind of, but we didn't know like

849
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:27,840
Speaker 1: how close everybody was. Like we had no idea because

850
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 1: I hadn't talked to my parents in years, like you

851
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:35,799
Speaker 1: know at this point, like it's probably a good year

852
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 1: before i'd spoke to my mom, So we we really

853
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:41,560
Speaker 1: didn't know the background of that, and none of that

854
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 1: stuff is kind of shared. But it turns out they

855
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 1: were actually pretty close growing up and stuff like that. Yes,

856
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:55,319
Speaker 1: which is my mom's fifth husband and she had been

857
00:56:56,200 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 1: she which was her third husband's cousin, Which is crazy

858
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:04,000
Speaker 1: backstory your mom.

859
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 2: Your mom's fifth husband was her third husband's cousin. Yes,

860
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:12,960
Speaker 2: that's a whole thing. That's the whole thing.

861
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Like when I tell you it's all crazy,

862
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:17,800
Speaker 1: it's all.

863
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:24,520
Speaker 2: So I don't want to skip too much if you

864
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 2: have some stuff to you know that you still kind

865
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:30,600
Speaker 2: of want to talk about. But I I I'm just

866
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 2: I'm I'm very curious. So you're twenty seven, now, Yes,

867
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 2: what for? First of all, and I actually probably should

868
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 2: have asked you this about an hour ago. Have you

869
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:44,320
Speaker 2: talked to have you talked about all this stuff?

870
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:51,000
Speaker 1: With a real therapist, So probably a while back, yes,

871
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:54,280
Speaker 1: but I kind of I kind of kind of gets

872
00:57:54,320 --> 00:58:00,600
Speaker 1: old after a while, I'm sure. But we live in

873
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 1: a small town. The therapists don't really stay therapists along here,

874
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 1: if that makes sense. Sure, so you're having to retail

875
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:12,960
Speaker 1: your whole off to someone new in a matter of

876
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:13,920
Speaker 1: like eight months.

877
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 2: No, it's it's well, here's what you can do is

878
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:19,440
Speaker 2: now that you've told this story, you can just send

879
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 2: any new therapists this podcast and be like, here's some homework.

880
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I suppose I could like here's a leek.

881
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 2: T L d R and then yeah, yeah, But so

882
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:48,720
Speaker 2: I mean, how are you, like, how are you doing

883
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 2: now where we're at the future. I mean, you're you're

884
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 2: clearly a very a very smart person, and just from

885
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 2: the way that you present yourself, from the way you talk.

886
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 2: And I know that the way that people present themselves

887
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 2: in the way that they talk is uh not does

888
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 2: not tell a full story of things, but you know

889
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 2: what you you from the way you're presenting yourself to

890
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:18,000
Speaker 2: me on this call, despite everything, you turned out pretty

891
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 2: pretty damn well as a human being. Where how's your

892
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 2: life going? How's your life going now at twenty seven,

893
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 2: what's up?

894
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 1: Okay? So, to be honest, I'm having a hard time

895
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 1: finding functionality in a career that is not law enforcement.

896
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 1: That that's my personal struggle. So I'm trying to find

897
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 1: myself a place not customer service because I never realized

898
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 1: maybe after work in the field, I'm not customer service space.

899
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:58,880
Speaker 1: But me and my husband we are living with his

900
00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 1: family and we're trying to figure things out. We had

901
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:10,360
Speaker 1: moved despite all bad things. My mom had hooked her

902
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:13,920
Speaker 1: sinks in probably about a year ago that we should

903
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:19,320
Speaker 1: come live with her, and we did for a minute,

904
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:22,200
Speaker 1: and then my husband really got to see our reality,

905
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 1: like truly got to see our reality of how they

906
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:30,440
Speaker 1: were and stuff, and it kind of bid us regardless.

907
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 1: But I you know, a kid wants their parents, that's

908
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:40,840
Speaker 1: just natural human instinct. I thought she had changed because

909
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:46,360
Speaker 1: my stepdad at the time had promoted the idea that

910
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:50,840
Speaker 1: she was better, She wasn't what she was before, et cetera.

911
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:54,120
Speaker 1: We moved back in with her for a little bit

912
01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:59,680
Speaker 1: and it just was awful. Ended up with me pretty

913
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:02,160
Speaker 1: much being their maid and stuff. Because I just can't

914
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 1: help it. That's just my personality. I just aim to please,

915
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:15,400
Speaker 1: I guess is the common reference for that, and my

916
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:18,080
Speaker 1: husband would get tired of it at the time. And

917
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 1: so we were trying to get our gateway into being

918
01:01:23,040 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 1: able to get our own home and stuff like that,

919
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 1: because we wanted to start our marriage out building, and

920
01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 1: I guess it didn't really work out that way. But

921
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:41,040
Speaker 1: we're doing good beyond that because we got out of

922
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:47,240
Speaker 1: their grass of them constantly keeping us in that circle

923
01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 1: of cycle. I guess you would say of abuse, because

924
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 1: that's really ultimately what it is. And he realized that

925
01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:01,040
Speaker 1: before I did.

926
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 2: And how is your your son doing.

927
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:12,720
Speaker 1: Great? Great, absolutely phenomenal, But he he shielded from a

928
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:14,040
Speaker 1: lot of things.

929
01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:15,440
Speaker 2: Nine.

930
01:02:17,120 --> 01:02:22,320
Speaker 1: Yes, I hate to paint that picture tomb that everything's fond,

931
01:02:22,440 --> 01:02:27,320
Speaker 1: but I'd rather him have everything spond and everything's bad

932
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 1: and the sky is falling.

933
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's but you know to yeah, I

934
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:33,880
Speaker 2: think to shield him from that. I mean, it's so

935
01:02:33,960 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 2: amazing that you you grew up in like such crazy

936
01:02:38,560 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 2: circumstances and now you have this op you have uh

937
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:46,680
Speaker 2: seized the opportunity to like, you know, do things you

938
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:49,520
Speaker 2: know better and right for your son. It's pretty cool.

939
01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:55,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the best legacy I can lead behind is

940
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:59,200
Speaker 1: honestly that I did not let him go through an

941
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:02,440
Speaker 1: inch of what I went through. And that's the proudest

942
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 1: thing I am is that he's never got to see

943
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:07,560
Speaker 1: a day of that life, you know.

944
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 2: Yeah?

945
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:08,720
Speaker 1: Yeah?

946
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:13,480
Speaker 2: And is it Does your husband have any kids or

947
01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 2: are YouTube both? Just like kind of taking care of

948
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:19,000
Speaker 2: of of the.

949
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:24,520
Speaker 1: One, just the one I would like him in the future,

950
01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:30,080
Speaker 1: But ultimately that fear lives within of I just don't

951
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:33,760
Speaker 1: want to repeat cycles. And I'd rather be on a

952
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:38,520
Speaker 1: good fit when we start that than you know, history

953
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:43,240
Speaker 1: and all that, because my son was not really necessarily planned,

954
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:48,160
Speaker 1: but he's a blessing beyond that, you know, regardless. But

955
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:53,320
Speaker 1: if I can keep it on a good fit of

956
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 1: having one planned when it comes to making sure I'm

957
01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:00,880
Speaker 1: of a good state of mind, of a good state

958
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:03,880
Speaker 1: of mind, I'd rather do that that way. I know

959
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 1: that my kids will never see a day of the

960
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:07,520
Speaker 1: life that I had.

961
01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:13,479
Speaker 2: And is every Is everything still cool with your ex

962
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:16,560
Speaker 2: husband in terms of like sharing custody and whatnot.

963
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:22,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, everything did work out well with that. We did

964
01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:25,600
Speaker 1: have a couple of bumps in the road, but it

965
01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 1: was mostly outside sources like he'd moved on for a bit.

966
01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:36,720
Speaker 1: The ex wife didn't like me, and you know, like

967
01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 1: that's fine, she don't have to and I'm cool with that,

968
01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:42,320
Speaker 1: Like she didn't have to like me. As long as

969
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:46,320
Speaker 1: we can coincide together, I'm cool with that. But she

970
01:04:46,360 --> 01:04:52,680
Speaker 1: didn't want to coincide, and that ultimately led to separation

971
01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:55,680
Speaker 1: and all that because she didn't want me in the picture.

972
01:04:55,880 --> 01:05:01,680
Speaker 1: But eventually that worked out. And you know, I didn't interfere,

973
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,840
Speaker 1: like it's not my business or anything. She just didn't

974
01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:07,600
Speaker 1: want me in the picture and that one part of

975
01:05:07,640 --> 01:05:10,520
Speaker 1: her plan and it didn't work out in her favor

976
01:05:10,560 --> 01:05:12,400
Speaker 1: that she couldn't get me out of the picture. And

977
01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:15,560
Speaker 1: so flow went on after that.

978
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:19,840
Speaker 2: But so I got I got two things, is I

979
01:05:19,880 --> 01:05:22,320
Speaker 2: think one I got a question for you then too,

980
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:25,920
Speaker 2: if you're down, I I am looking at the live

981
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:30,760
Speaker 2: twitch chat and I'll take some questions from them in

982
01:05:31,160 --> 01:05:34,760
Speaker 2: just a bit if you want. But well, let me

983
01:05:34,840 --> 01:05:39,840
Speaker 2: let me ask you this where you are now, Like

984
01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:42,120
Speaker 2: I know that you're kind of trying to to find

985
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:44,760
Speaker 2: something outside of like law enforcement or retail. If you

986
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:47,760
Speaker 2: could like wave a magic wand and your life could

987
01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:52,120
Speaker 2: be uh any way, that you you wanted it to be,

988
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:53,560
Speaker 2: what would what would that look like?

989
01:05:53,760 --> 01:06:00,440
Speaker 1: I'm curious business business. I wish it went into business.

990
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:04,520
Speaker 1: I wish I'd went to school for it. I never

991
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:07,920
Speaker 1: realized how well I am a kind of situation like

992
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 1: I've been a manager many times before, and I didn't

993
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:15,600
Speaker 1: realize I was good at it. I'd been a manager

994
01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:18,800
Speaker 1: a couple of times at a call center and Walmart

995
01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 1: and things like that. I'd never realized how good I

996
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:27,040
Speaker 1: am at mediating. I mean, I guess that probably come

997
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 1: naturally from my family, but maybe given that that was

998
01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:38,680
Speaker 1: my role a lot growing up, was the mediator, I

999
01:06:39,160 --> 01:06:43,520
Speaker 1: would have picked something in business like absolutely hands down.

1000
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:48,000
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm hmm. I have I have. I have no

1001
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:53,160
Speaker 2: fucking idea if this is worth anything, but listen, I'll

1002
01:06:53,200 --> 01:06:58,439
Speaker 2: post this on Spotify and YouTube, and uh, I don't

1003
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:02,920
Speaker 2: I don't know if the people of Spotify comments and

1004
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 2: YouTube comments can be helpful to your journey in any sense,

1005
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:11,360
Speaker 2: but if if they can, I don't know. I don't

1006
01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:13,960
Speaker 2: know if we can get somebody a job via the

1007
01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:17,320
Speaker 2: Therapy Gecko podcast, but if we could, it would be cool.

1008
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:21,280
Speaker 2: So you know, I'll post this and you know I

1009
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:24,440
Speaker 2: don't know. Maybe maybe you can connect with somebody in

1010
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:27,720
Speaker 2: the YouTube comments who could help you. I don't know

1011
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:29,400
Speaker 2: if that's a pipe dream, but it would. It would

1012
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:35,000
Speaker 2: be cool if it could happen. You don't have you

1013
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,600
Speaker 2: don't have, Like so you said you don't have any

1014
01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 2: social media, right, Yeah.

1015
01:07:40,760 --> 01:07:48,480
Speaker 1: Not really. I have Buttify, have that, but kind of

1016
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:52,640
Speaker 1: just died down from social media after working in the field.

1017
01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:56,880
Speaker 1: I can tell you a crazy story about that, but

1018
01:07:59,080 --> 01:08:02,280
Speaker 1: I just kind of scared after a while. I had

1019
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:05,520
Speaker 1: a woman the painted my name was her blood on

1020
01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:07,000
Speaker 1: the wall, and it kind of scared.

1021
01:08:07,280 --> 01:08:10,480
Speaker 2: You had a woman who painted your name with her

1022
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 2: blood on the wall.

1023
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:16,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, at the jail.

1024
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:25,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot. Someone

1025
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:27,720
Speaker 2: in the chat just said, I hate when that happens.

1026
01:08:30,439 --> 01:08:34,080
Speaker 1: Me too, family, But uh yeah.

1027
01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:36,479
Speaker 2: Well, look, you know, I'll post this on YouTube and Spotify.

1028
01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:38,800
Speaker 2: I don't know if somebody can help you, help you.

1029
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:40,639
Speaker 2: If they could, that would be cool. But at least,

1030
01:08:40,640 --> 01:08:42,040
Speaker 2: you know, I'm sure there'll be a lot of people

1031
01:08:42,080 --> 01:08:45,519
Speaker 2: in the comments who are uh, you know, very very

1032
01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:49,479
Speaker 2: uh very supportive of your of your tail in general.

1033
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:52,040
Speaker 2: Do you want to kids that? Okay? If I ask

1034
01:08:52,120 --> 01:09:02,280
Speaker 2: some questions from the twitch chat. Yeah, absolutely, go ahead, Okay,

1035
01:09:02,320 --> 01:09:05,120
Speaker 2: so twitch chat you can ask some questions real quick.

1036
01:09:06,439 --> 01:09:09,160
Speaker 2: So and said, if you could move out of Appalachia,

1037
01:09:10,040 --> 01:09:11,000
Speaker 2: where would you go?

1038
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:13,280
Speaker 1: Maine?

1039
01:09:14,360 --> 01:09:16,240
Speaker 2: Maine? Where in Maine?

1040
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:22,519
Speaker 1: Anywhere? I love Stephen King. He's one of my favorite authors.

1041
01:09:22,560 --> 01:09:27,639
Speaker 1: And you know, if anybody really reads any of his books,

1042
01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:31,200
Speaker 1: all of his books are placed somewhere up there, and

1043
01:09:31,400 --> 01:09:33,519
Speaker 1: I think it would just be interesting to kind of

1044
01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:34,040
Speaker 1: go there.

1045
01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:38,320
Speaker 2: You ever you ever thought about writing writing a book or.

1046
01:09:38,320 --> 01:09:42,559
Speaker 1: Something like that kind of Sometimes when I'm really stressed out,

1047
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:45,559
Speaker 1: I go on word document on the PC and just

1048
01:09:45,680 --> 01:09:46,360
Speaker 1: top it all.

1049
01:09:47,720 --> 01:09:50,080
Speaker 2: Hey, hey, be be careful or else you'll end up

1050
01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:55,439
Speaker 2: the vice president of the United States. Waka waka hold on?

1051
01:09:56,960 --> 01:10:01,120
Speaker 2: Uh oh, what's your favorite Stephen King novel?

1052
01:10:04,240 --> 01:10:09,439
Speaker 1: Okay, so Needful Things is up there? Or I'm the

1053
01:10:09,560 --> 01:10:17,280
Speaker 1: Stan Needful Things are the stand mm. I'm not Mayors though,

1054
01:10:17,439 --> 01:10:20,960
Speaker 1: usually of like apocalyptic things, I just can't help it.

1055
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:23,559
Speaker 1: That's usually my not Mariors. Oh.

1056
01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:27,120
Speaker 2: Somebody said, did you and your siblings work things out

1057
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:29,240
Speaker 2: after everything that happens?

1058
01:10:31,200 --> 01:10:36,200
Speaker 1: Yes? Actually, my sister she had lost the baby last year,

1059
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:39,640
Speaker 1: which had created an open way for me and her

1060
01:10:39,760 --> 01:10:43,240
Speaker 1: to work it out, because immediately I left my job.

1061
01:10:43,479 --> 01:10:46,800
Speaker 1: My job was like we're gonna fire you. At the time,

1062
01:10:46,840 --> 01:10:49,479
Speaker 1: I was working in nursing. They were like, we're gonna

1063
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:51,519
Speaker 1: fire you if you can't come in tonight. I was like,

1064
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:56,760
Speaker 1: fuck it, Like our family is more important. So I

1065
01:10:56,760 --> 01:10:59,600
Speaker 1: told my husband. I was like, we're going to you know,

1066
01:10:59,760 --> 01:11:02,160
Speaker 1: I'm I'm trying not to give away my location, but

1067
01:11:02,200 --> 01:11:06,559
Speaker 1: we're going to go upstate and we're going to go

1068
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:10,479
Speaker 1: see her and watch the baby, you know, with her

1069
01:11:10,640 --> 01:11:15,280
Speaker 1: because they're pulling outful life support. And we went up

1070
01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:18,120
Speaker 1: there and me and my sister made way and she'd

1071
01:11:18,160 --> 01:11:21,439
Speaker 1: got better. I had no idea she'd been working on

1072
01:11:21,720 --> 01:11:25,679
Speaker 1: her recovery and stuff like that. But my youngest sibling,

1073
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:29,000
Speaker 1: me and my youngest sibling have always been close, Like

1074
01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:32,799
Speaker 1: they moved a couple of states away, and I'd always

1075
01:11:32,800 --> 01:11:35,800
Speaker 1: been really close to them. Anything they needed, I was there.

1076
01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:41,200
Speaker 1: Just my middle sibling was the one we had a

1077
01:11:41,200 --> 01:11:46,479
Speaker 1: big fall out with. I just I couldn't be a

1078
01:11:46,560 --> 01:11:50,240
Speaker 1: part of what she's going through. And I tried and tried,

1079
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:53,879
Speaker 1: but I just can't, like if it's it's at that point,

1080
01:11:53,960 --> 01:11:58,160
Speaker 1: But she finally got better, she'd lost the baby, and

1081
01:11:58,920 --> 01:12:02,400
Speaker 1: I was there by our side. I'd made sure, you know,

1082
01:12:02,479 --> 01:12:04,600
Speaker 1: I didn't even care that I lost the job. I

1083
01:12:04,640 --> 01:12:09,080
Speaker 1: lost the job to go be with her, make sure

1084
01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:12,880
Speaker 1: that she's okay through that. And my mom made it hard,

1085
01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:18,120
Speaker 1: but I was. I was there, and she really made

1086
01:12:18,240 --> 01:12:20,400
Speaker 1: up with me at that moment, and we're still pretty

1087
01:12:20,400 --> 01:12:23,280
Speaker 1: close now. So yeah, we all made up.

1088
01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:29,120
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmmm. This is a question I'm very curious about.

1089
01:12:29,439 --> 01:12:35,960
Speaker 2: Someone said, after all this, are you still religious or spiritual?

1090
01:12:39,040 --> 01:12:44,640
Speaker 1: No? I hate to say that, I really do. I mean,

1091
01:12:44,720 --> 01:12:49,120
Speaker 1: there's moments, you know, in my nature where else I'll

1092
01:12:49,160 --> 01:12:53,920
Speaker 1: find myself praying. I can't help it. So m's instinctual.

1093
01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:59,040
Speaker 1: Because for those two years that I was married to

1094
01:12:59,080 --> 01:13:03,760
Speaker 1: somebody really religious and stuff, their family really helped me,

1095
01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:07,280
Speaker 1: and they were really good people, and they tried their

1096
01:13:07,280 --> 01:13:10,559
Speaker 1: best to make sure they didn't believe in depression or

1097
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,360
Speaker 1: anything like that, but they tried to be there for me,

1098
01:13:13,479 --> 01:13:15,760
Speaker 1: and they taught me a lot of what being a

1099
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:19,000
Speaker 1: grown up was. So I guess some parts of that

1100
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:22,280
Speaker 1: are sentiment to me. And there will be moments that

1101
01:13:22,320 --> 01:13:27,840
Speaker 1: I'll catch myself praying. But beyond that. I struggle with

1102
01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:32,439
Speaker 1: that category just because of everything that's happened to me,

1103
01:13:32,840 --> 01:13:36,559
Speaker 1: and not that I'm dissing it or denying it. I don't.

1104
01:13:37,000 --> 01:13:39,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to ever do that because I truly

1105
01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:42,920
Speaker 1: don't know what's beyond those realms and.

1106
01:13:44,760 --> 01:13:45,160
Speaker 2: All that.

1107
01:13:45,560 --> 01:13:50,720
Speaker 1: But I'd like to believe that there's something. You know, m.

1108
01:13:55,360 --> 01:14:02,080
Speaker 2: Autumn, thanks a lot for sharing this, for choosing my

1109
01:14:02,080 --> 01:14:07,439
Speaker 2: My Silly Gecko podcast to uh share share this story.

1110
01:14:07,439 --> 01:14:10,719
Speaker 2: I mean, you could easily have written your own book

1111
01:14:11,520 --> 01:14:14,120
Speaker 2: or you know, I mean you still you still could,

1112
01:14:14,160 --> 01:14:17,639
Speaker 2: you still could, but you know that thanks for choosing

1113
01:14:18,800 --> 01:14:22,439
Speaker 2: this show to tell this story on. This has been

1114
01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:27,360
Speaker 2: incredibly interesting. I'm sure. I'm sure that I actually even

1115
01:14:27,360 --> 01:14:28,800
Speaker 2: I I kind of peaked a little bit on the

1116
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:32,080
Speaker 2: Twitch chat and and saw us saw a little bit

1117
01:14:32,080 --> 01:14:34,000
Speaker 2: of this. I'm sure that you're not alone and a

1118
01:14:34,040 --> 01:14:40,439
Speaker 2: lot of this situation and so you know, you're probably

1119
01:14:40,520 --> 01:14:45,439
Speaker 2: speaking on things that you know, I'm perhaps other people

1120
01:14:45,479 --> 01:14:49,080
Speaker 2: listen to the show UH are are familiar with. So

1121
01:14:49,520 --> 01:14:52,960
Speaker 2: you know, I I appreciate you sharing all of this

1122
01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:57,599
Speaker 2: and your husband for inspiring you to do it. How

1123
01:14:57,600 --> 01:15:01,240
Speaker 2: did it feel to and chat for an hour? And

1124
01:15:01,840 --> 01:15:02,799
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes.

1125
01:15:05,439 --> 01:15:09,000
Speaker 1: Honestly, if I could say it, it's been good because

1126
01:15:09,560 --> 01:15:12,320
Speaker 1: you know, you could talk to someone you know all

1127
01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:19,000
Speaker 1: day and that's really wonderful. But talking to a stranger

1128
01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:22,759
Speaker 1: and telling your story is just different, if that makes sense.

1129
01:15:24,120 --> 01:15:27,840
Speaker 1: It feels like you're telling something off your chest that

1130
01:15:29,360 --> 01:15:33,000
Speaker 1: you couldn't tell to anybody else, even though you know

1131
01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:36,360
Speaker 1: you could, but it's just kind of like a weight

1132
01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:37,520
Speaker 1: off your shoulders.

1133
01:15:40,160 --> 01:15:44,519
Speaker 2: Autumn, is there anything else, or any anything at all,

1134
01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:49,080
Speaker 2: any little aspect or any little whatever, anything at all

1135
01:15:49,160 --> 01:15:53,400
Speaker 2: that you wanna say to bring us home before we

1136
01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:55,360
Speaker 2: before we get out of here.

1137
01:15:57,400 --> 01:16:02,280
Speaker 1: Sure, if you're going through anything like this. Even in

1138
01:16:02,360 --> 01:16:06,960
Speaker 1: my teenage years, I remember thinking like this, You're not

1139
01:16:07,120 --> 01:16:11,200
Speaker 1: here just to survive. You're not you just I know

1140
01:16:11,280 --> 01:16:13,679
Speaker 1: in this moment it might feel like you have to survive,

1141
01:16:13,760 --> 01:16:17,439
Speaker 1: but you don't. You just keep pushing and eventually it'll

1142
01:16:17,479 --> 01:16:21,560
Speaker 1: get better. Maybe right now survival, but eventually it's not survival.

1143
01:16:21,600 --> 01:16:24,559
Speaker 1: You get to live, So don't don't feel like it's

1144
01:16:24,560 --> 01:16:27,200
Speaker 1: just survival. You get to live at some point.

1145
01:16:28,200 --> 01:16:35,200
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm hm. Congratulations on uh uh living your life

1146
01:16:35,240 --> 01:16:41,519
Speaker 2: and uh, you know, being being as prosperous as you are,

1147
01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:46,200
Speaker 2: and uh, thank you again for sharing your story with us.

1148
01:16:47,760 --> 01:16:49,320
Speaker 1: Absolutely, thank you for listening.

1149
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,920
Speaker 2: Of course, have a good rest of the night, Autumn.

1150
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:56,280
Speaker 1: You too, Bye bye, bye bye.

1151
01:16:57,800 --> 01:17:01,479
Speaker 2: There was a super intro sting call. I don't know

1152
01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:06,800
Speaker 2: if I have any post call thoughts. I really don't. Yeah,

1153
01:17:06,840 --> 01:17:10,040
Speaker 2: I kind of feel like that that spoke for itself.

1154
01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:12,760
Speaker 2: I don't know if I have any I don't. I

1155
01:17:12,760 --> 01:17:15,519
Speaker 2: don't know if I have any anything else to add

1156
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:17,880
Speaker 2: for that. That was cool. I don't. It's like it

1157
01:17:17,880 --> 01:17:21,479
Speaker 2: would be cool if like I don't know, I don't

1158
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:24,960
Speaker 2: know how how we can help this person out, Like

1159
01:17:25,120 --> 01:17:27,519
Speaker 2: if she didn't exactly she didn't she I don't think

1160
01:17:27,520 --> 01:17:35,439
Speaker 2: she mentioned where she lives, right, is like okay, if well, look,

1161
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:38,240
Speaker 2: I don't know if you own if you own some

1162
01:17:38,360 --> 01:17:44,720
Speaker 2: kind of business in the in the Southern United States

1163
01:17:45,640 --> 01:17:47,559
Speaker 2: and you want to, I don't know how we would

1164
01:17:47,560 --> 01:17:49,479
Speaker 2: do that. I don't know how logistically we would do this.

1165
01:17:49,600 --> 01:17:53,240
Speaker 2: But if you if you own some kind of business

1166
01:17:53,280 --> 01:17:57,400
Speaker 2: in the Southern United States or Appalachia and you think

1167
01:17:57,439 --> 01:18:02,879
Speaker 2: you could help this lady in the leave a YouTube comment,

1168
01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:05,800
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's logistically the best way to

1169
01:18:05,840 --> 01:18:09,160
Speaker 2: do this but leave a YouTube comment and then if

1170
01:18:09,200 --> 01:18:13,240
Speaker 2: she wants, she can make a YouTube account and hop

1171
01:18:13,280 --> 01:18:19,400
Speaker 2: in the YouTube comments. But yeah, maybe we can do

1172
01:18:19,400 --> 01:18:23,200
Speaker 2: it in the YouTube comments. That would be cool. I

1173
01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:25,280
Speaker 2: don't know. It would be sick to get somebody a

1174
01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:32,040
Speaker 2: job based on the Therapy Get Goo podcast. Yeah, I

1175
01:18:32,080 --> 01:18:33,639
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't know. I feel like I don't

1176
01:18:33,840 --> 01:18:35,479
Speaker 2: I feel like we don't usually do shit like this,

1177
01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:38,800
Speaker 2: but I was. I was very touched by this, this

1178
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:41,280
Speaker 2: woman's story. It was really cool and I really appreciate

1179
01:18:41,280 --> 01:18:47,679
Speaker 2: her sharing. All Right, we'll be back. Uh, don't don't worry, guys,

1180
01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:51,960
Speaker 2: We'll be back next episode with a story about someone

1181
01:18:52,240 --> 01:19:00,280
Speaker 2: uh diarrhea ing at prom or you know, having three

1182
01:19:00,320 --> 01:19:05,320
Speaker 2: testicles or something like that. Thank you all for listening

1183
01:19:05,360 --> 01:19:11,600
Speaker 2: to the Therapy Gecko podcast show thing and see you

1184
01:19:11,680 --> 01:19:16,960
Speaker 2: all around the universe. Goes on the line, taking your

1185
01:19:17,080 --> 01:19:20,639
Speaker 2: phone calls every night, never goes to ride.

1186
01:19:20,720 --> 01:19:23,680
Speaker 1: He's teaching you a loud to be life, but he's

1187
01:19:23,760 --> 01:19:23,840
Speaker 1: not

1188
01:19:24,080 --> 01:19:25,440
Speaker 2: Really an expert.