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Speaker 1: Support for today's podcast comes from Freedom at the Mat.

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Speaker 1: I invite you to join me in celebrating the launch

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Speaker 1: I definitely encourage you to check it out. Search for

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Speaker 1: Freedom at the Mat on YouTube, or visit the link

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Speaker 1: in our show notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot

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Speaker 1: Com slash Session one fifty nine. Support for today's podcast

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

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Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope

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Speaker 1: you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it

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Speaker 1: is not meant to be a substitute for relationship with

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Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

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Speaker 1: for joining me for session one of the Therapy for

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Speaker 1: Black Girls Podcast. Clearly the podcast has turned into an

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Speaker 1: insecure breakdown podcast recently, but I can't help it, y'all.

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Speaker 1: They're given us so much good stuff to talk about.

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Speaker 1: So Dr orio Wo is back with us this week

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Speaker 1: to chat about everything we saw in this week's episode

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Speaker 1: as a reminder, Dr Donna Orioo is an author, international speaker,

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Speaker 1: and certified sex and relationship therapists in the Washington, d C.

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Speaker 1: Metro area. The owner of a nod Right, Dr orio

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Speaker 1: Will specializes in working with black women on issues related

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Speaker 1: to colorism and texturism and its impact on mental and

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Speaker 1: sexual health. She is also the author of Cocoa Butter

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Speaker 1: and Hair Grease, a self love journey through hair and skin.

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Speaker 1: This week, she and I chatted about what's happening with

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Speaker 1: Issa and Lawrence, the meet up between Molly and Issa,

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Speaker 1: Molly finally going back to therapy, and our predictions for

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Speaker 1: the season finale next week. This episode does contain spoilers,

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Speaker 1: so if you haven't watched the episode yet, you might

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Speaker 1: want to save it until you have. Here's our conversation.

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Speaker 1: All right, we are back again, sooner than expected. We

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Speaker 1: thought we might have a week off, but clearly the

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Speaker 1: letters they was not playing with us. Go Carrie Washington, right,

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Speaker 1: How is it possible that each week it's better than

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Speaker 1: the last one. I don't know. I feel like they

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Speaker 1: just talk all to each other, and all that black

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Speaker 1: and lovely energy in one room just converges to the

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Speaker 1: most amazing episodes. Yes, yes, so I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: need to kind of go back and read and see

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Speaker 1: what other things. I feel like maybe Carrie had also

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Speaker 1: directed some episodes of Scandal. I'm not sure, but definitely

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Speaker 1: she did a beautiful job with this episode. And if

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Speaker 1: this was her first time, listen, listen if I go

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Speaker 1: back in that research and find out this was her

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Speaker 1: first foray into directing, like Natasha was last week. I mean,

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Speaker 1: clearly they are setting the more high a little. I'm

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Speaker 1: just like, you know, day I'd like to maybe get

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Speaker 1: into that, but like, you know, they don't need to

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Speaker 1: set it so high that I can't achieve. Yeah, we're

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Speaker 1: just gonna start with some of YouTube videos. We go

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Speaker 1: just you know, start right, starting our own bandwidth. So

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Speaker 1: we seen the scene open up. Now, tell me if

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Speaker 1: I was alone in thinking that this was a dream sequence,

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Speaker 1: you are not alone. A bunch of people said they

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Speaker 1: thought it was a dream sequence. I remember sitting there

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Speaker 1: hoping that it was. I was like, please, right, So

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Speaker 1: from the bad they totally like nixed all of our

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Speaker 1: predictions from last week because we all thought this was

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Speaker 1: a closure getting together. We did not think we would

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Speaker 1: see them back together, and they let us know very

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Speaker 1: early on that we were wrong. Yep, I'm just like, well,

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Speaker 1: okay was wrong. Yeah. So I don't even know how

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Speaker 1: long it has been, probably not very long since we

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Speaker 1: last saw Lawrence and Easta together, um, and so now

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Speaker 1: it is basically like they are spending tons of their

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Speaker 1: free time together. But what I liked that I saw like,

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Speaker 1: despite the fact that you know, I am not this team,

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Speaker 1: I am not You're not team Laurence Easa, not really,

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Speaker 1: I'm team Issa. H. But what I really did enjoy

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Speaker 1: saying is that they also had the computer side by

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Speaker 1: side and they were both working that they can it

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Speaker 1: sounds it looked like they finally found this space where

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Speaker 1: they are able to sort of be in space with

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Speaker 1: one another, enjoy each other, joke with each other, love

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Speaker 1: on each other, and at the same time work with

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Speaker 1: each other. And that was that was just a beautiful

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Speaker 1: love sequence. And I didn't know how much I needed

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Speaker 1: it until, like god it Yeah, it felt like a

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Speaker 1: perfect continuation even though we didn't expect it. It felt

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Speaker 1: like a very perfect continuation of last week's episode. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean it made it so I couldn't even be mad. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I couldn't either. I couldn't have. I was like, oh, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: I see where y'all are trying to go with this,

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Speaker 1: you know, but they definitely they have clearly really just

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Speaker 1: fallen into this very comfortable space with one another, right.

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Speaker 1: It really does feel like they kind of picked up

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Speaker 1: where they left off, and even more than that, just

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Speaker 1: like they're both able to show up in a way

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Speaker 1: that maybe they had not been able to show up previously.

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Speaker 1: So like, just you know, she's herself, she's the she's

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Speaker 1: the improvements that she's been able to make since they

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Speaker 1: broke up, the same inspiration, the same love to drive,

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Speaker 1: the passion, all of that. Now Lawrence gets to experience

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Speaker 1: it in a completely different way than where they were before,

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Speaker 1: and she also gets to experience him differently because he

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Speaker 1: has drive and purpose and desire in the work that

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Speaker 1: he is doing. Mm hmm. Yeah. So they are in,

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Speaker 1: like we said last week, very different places. So we

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Speaker 1: do see though, kind of towards the end of the scene,

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Speaker 1: this very awkward kind of you know, a call back

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Speaker 1: to you sis, more awkward out moments, this very awkward

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Speaker 1: conversation about like what what's going on? Here, what are

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Speaker 1: we you know? Then she kind of throws condola into

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Speaker 1: the mix, like, Okay, what's up with that? So what

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Speaker 1: were your thoughts about that? I like that she was

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Speaker 1: asking the questions. I think that sometimes we can very

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Speaker 1: easily move into assumptions with somebody because we've been sleeping

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Speaker 1: together or hanging out together, that, oh, it must mean

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Speaker 1: that we are both exclusive with one another, as opposed

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Speaker 1: to having the outright conversation and letting it be awkward

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Speaker 1: and be in that space just so that you know

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Speaker 1: exactly where it is that you stand. Because we can't move,

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Speaker 1: we can't continue to move into a space where we

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Speaker 1: make assumptions about our standing in someone's life and how

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Speaker 1: it is that they are interacting with others based on

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Speaker 1: their interaction with us. Mm hmmm. And I appreciated that

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Speaker 1: they didn't really have an answer right like, it didn't

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Speaker 1: feel like they really came to a resolution about what

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Speaker 1: they were doing, but it did feel good that they

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Speaker 1: at least put it on the table able so that

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Speaker 1: they both know they're thinking about what's happening here, even

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Speaker 1: if we don't have an answer for what to call

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Speaker 1: this right now exactly. And I to that, I mean,

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Speaker 1: how how you gonna label it? He is, right, Francisco tricked. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So we see that a little later, but I think

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Speaker 1: it also now I'm still not totally sure about what's

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Speaker 1: happening with Condola. I'm not quite giving up on my

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Speaker 1: pregnancy prediction just yet. But we do hear him saying

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Speaker 1: everybody wants to be like, yeah, pregnant, she's gonna come next,

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Speaker 1: because it's like, was that her in the in the

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Speaker 1: preview for the last e who even knows, right, But

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Speaker 1: he does say like I talked to her and we're done.

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Speaker 1: So that does kind of, you know, squash that prediction

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Speaker 1: right now. But I'm not gonna completely let it go

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Speaker 1: just yet. Well, I just I'm just so in a

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Speaker 1: space of love with this honesty. I'm she could be

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Speaker 1: pregnant and she wouldn't be pregnant. That's her pricket is now.

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Speaker 1: But now they've been talking and that makes me feel

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Speaker 1: warm and sort of gooey inside, because you know, like

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Speaker 1: we've been talking consistently about communication and how the communication

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Speaker 1: breakdown between East and Molly has just been you know,

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Speaker 1: how it's just been so like, you know, like almost

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Speaker 1: kind of greasy. But then it's look at this communication

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Speaker 1: that communication sequence does happen, And I'm just you know,

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Speaker 1: just watching this level of growth in EASA and how

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Speaker 1: she communicates with others and still being disappointed about how

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Speaker 1: the communication ends up going with Molly, but being able

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Speaker 1: to appreciate the way it goes everywhere else. M Yeah,

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Speaker 1: clearly it still don't work to do there? Oh, absolutely right.

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Speaker 1: So the next thing we see, thank goodness, we see

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Speaker 1: Molly is back in therapy. So Dr Rhonda has heard

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Speaker 1: a space on her schedule in her gorgeous office, and

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Speaker 1: Molly is back in therapy where she needed to be,

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Speaker 1: where we know she needed to be. And so you

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Speaker 1: hear her talking about, you know, the continuing stress and

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Speaker 1: drama related to Issa, and Dr Ronda really, i think,

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Speaker 1: does a great job of kind of calling her out

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Speaker 1: about the patterns that she's recognizing in Molly's relationships. So

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Speaker 1: she is, you know, these people have all wronged you

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Speaker 1: in your life, But does that mean really that there's

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Speaker 1: no opportunity for reconciliation? So she asked her, do you

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Speaker 1: want to be right or do you want to be

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Speaker 1: in relationship? Let me tell you that question about got

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Speaker 1: on my nerves. Did you feel a little way about that.

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Speaker 1: I definitely felt a way about that. I was like,

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Speaker 1: so what I can't be in a relationship with somebody

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Speaker 1: if if I'm not if I know I'm right, if

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Speaker 1: I have conviction, I don't. The question for me just

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Speaker 1: feels it kind of moves into a manipulative space of

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Speaker 1: this is how other people can approach you to be like, well,

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Speaker 1: do you want to be with me? Or do you

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Speaker 1: want to do this thing? Oh see, I didn't see

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Speaker 1: it that way. I just I found it to be

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Speaker 1: an irksome and bothersome questions. I like her follow up

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Speaker 1: to it. I think that the follow up, that's that's

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Speaker 1: where I was living in that space of Okay, now

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Speaker 1: what like what is your role in all of this?

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Speaker 1: Like can this thing be salvage? That's a really great

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Speaker 1: question m that I was getting to when she said

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Speaker 1: do you want to be right? Or do you want

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Speaker 1: to be in relationship? Because it felt like Molly was

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Speaker 1: really really invested in holding onto like the ways that

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Speaker 1: people have wronged her and even though she may be

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Speaker 1: right like that they were wrong, but is there no

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Speaker 1: opportunity for you to reconcile? And have we really looked

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Speaker 1: at everything related to you, how you might need to

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Speaker 1: look at your piece of what happened. I get that.

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Speaker 1: I think I want to both and sort of person

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Speaker 1: out of either or, because I don't think it needs

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Speaker 1: to be either or. I think that she behaves like

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Speaker 1: it's either or and learning to expand that yes, people

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Speaker 1: can wrong you and you can still manage to have

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Speaker 1: a relationship if you so choose. Yeah, for me, that

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Speaker 1: would work better for me because I would never utter

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Speaker 1: those words in the space of any climbing Yeah, right, right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I think, you know, kind of going back to

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Speaker 1: I believe our first conversation about the season opener of

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Speaker 1: season four talking about like the lack of self awareness,

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Speaker 1: and that came became more evident. I think in talking

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Speaker 1: with her therapist right when she tried to, you know,

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Speaker 1: gently nudge her towards the accountability, she was like, no,

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Speaker 1: it was her foote And I would have loved to

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Speaker 1: stay there and just be like, I want to know

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Speaker 1: what I the wrong. I would have said, because I

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Speaker 1: was just like, come on, Ali, come on, plead. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I definitely would have loved to see a little bit

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Speaker 1: more of the therapy scene. But you know, maybe we'll

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Speaker 1: see some more of that next week, Yeah, because it

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Speaker 1: was after that. It was after that scene, right that

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Speaker 1: we see Issa in the restaurant. Yeah, so I think

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Speaker 1: it's after that that we see Issa at home making

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Speaker 1: the decision about whether she's gonna call, right, Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: was concerned like, oh, if I say this thing, she's

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Speaker 1: gonna say I'm being selfish all over again. So noting

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Speaker 1: that she sort of just let those things go what

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Speaker 1: she needed in that moment, I was like, all right, cool,

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Speaker 1: look at you. I see you. But just also just

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Speaker 1: I'm still upset that she called Molly. So wait, so

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Speaker 1: let's take a moment here, because what do you think

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Speaker 1: motivated her to call. Do you think it was, you know,

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Speaker 1: I missed my friend, I would like for us to

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Speaker 1: get back together. Or do you think it was, Oh,

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Speaker 1: there are all these things I want to talk through

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Speaker 1: related to Lauren, and Molly is the only one I

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Speaker 1: can talk to. So more coming from a selfish please, Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I think it may have been a combination because she is,

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Speaker 1: you know, Molly is her oldest standing friend who also

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Speaker 1: knows a lot of what went on with her and

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Speaker 1: Lawrence the first time around. Right, So there is that

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Speaker 1: piece and I think that may have brought back a

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Speaker 1: certain level of nostalgia of missing being able to just

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Speaker 1: sort of hang out with her, talk to her, be

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Speaker 1: in space and being community with her. So I think

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Speaker 1: that I think that she did miss Molly because even

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Speaker 1: though all this stuff has been happening, she did not

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Speaker 1: bring it up. Yeah, So I was wondering, I initially

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Speaker 1: until I watched it a second time. I initially thought

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Speaker 1: that we had only seen a little bit of the

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Speaker 1: conversation and that they had gotten into the block party

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Speaker 1: stuff in the middle, and then we just saw them leaving.

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Speaker 1: But it's clear now that they read they didn't talk

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Speaker 1: about it. They were talking about out, you know, work

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Speaker 1: and family and all that kind of stuff, but there

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Speaker 1: really was no digging in to what actually was happening.

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Speaker 1: And I thought I was just like, ah, why not

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Speaker 1: get this poop off your dust step now? Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: it does kind of feel like, um, not on track

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Speaker 1: for how we've seen Issa behave the rest of the season. Right,

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Speaker 1: Like we've talked, even you and I have talked in

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Speaker 1: previous episodes about how she is more assertive now and

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Speaker 1: you know, kind of asking for what she needs and

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Speaker 1: wants in relationships. So I do think it was a

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Speaker 1: bit off, although a throwback to how she typically operated

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Speaker 1: in old seasons of like not speaking up. Isn't that

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Speaker 1: the point? Though? To me, it was like absolutely the point,

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Speaker 1: because it's like here, it is in all these levels

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Speaker 1: of her, in all these areas of her life. She

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Speaker 1: has been able to progress with the work that she's doing,

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Speaker 1: with the people that she's hanging out with, the how

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Speaker 1: she speaks to them. But the one person that she

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Speaker 1: is not able to do that with this the one

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Speaker 1: person who does not see her as a new, unimproved person,

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Speaker 1: but sees her as the same person she's always been.

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Speaker 1: Molly asks the way that she has been acting, and

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Speaker 1: that requires Issa to meet her where she is, because

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Speaker 1: if we're talking about the new Issa and not old Issa,

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Speaker 1: then we're also talking about then we would be talking

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Speaker 1: about Molly calling Issa, because Molly would also have to

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Speaker 1: elevate herself to be where Issa is currently. Molly has

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Speaker 1: always been in a space where Issa comes crawling, you know,

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Speaker 1: crawling back to her, so to speak, to apologize or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And I think that the other friends sort of required it, eVisa,

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Speaker 1: even like, you know, a couple of episodes ago, Kelly's

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Speaker 1: telling Issa called Molly, But who's getting Molly that same energy?

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Speaker 1: Who's telling Molly that she needs to apologize? So Molly

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Speaker 1: gets to continue to act in the way that she

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Speaker 1: has and acting and the way that she has been

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Speaker 1: behaving while no one is holding her accountable to the

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Speaker 1: fact that she also does not see Issa. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: and why do you think Molly didn't just bring up like, girl,

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Speaker 1: are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room?

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Speaker 1: Because both of them fake. So I don't know that

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Speaker 1: I would describe it as speak you would go with.

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Speaker 1: I think they both missed each other and they were

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Speaker 1: trying to be in community with one another. But I

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Speaker 1: also think that Molly had an expectation that Easta would

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Speaker 1: bring it up with an apology, right, kind of going

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Speaker 1: back to the scene we saw with her therapist, if

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Speaker 1: she is kind of head strong in this idea that

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Speaker 1: it Issa's fault, she expects that Issa will apologize. I

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00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 1: mean that was like the whole episode looked like look

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00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,399
Speaker 1: like Molly waiting and east To not given. So I

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00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 1: would say that maybe that's some growth east To didn't

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00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 1: give it to her. But there I think there's also

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00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:00,920
Speaker 1: a space of easta being like woll Molly only needs

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00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 1: to cool down, and once she's cool down, then we'll

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00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,440
Speaker 1: be able to move forward. But when I think about

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Speaker 1: previous seasons, even when Molly did need to cool down,

345
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:15,440
Speaker 1: Lisa still apologized, be it with food or however else,

346
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Speaker 1: but she definitely apologized. She talked about how she was wrong.

347
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Speaker 1: But I'm wondering if this new way of her trying

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Speaker 1: to move into this space with her is trying to

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Speaker 1: find a happy medium, so to speak, where she doesn't

350
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Speaker 1: speak out, but she also is not apologizing, so they

351
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Speaker 1: sort of end up in this limbo. Yeah, and I'm

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Speaker 1: glad you brought that up, because it does feel like

353
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: those jokes you sometimes that are also real life when

354
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 1: you hear people talking about like when your mom would

355
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 1: say something like mean to you and they don't apologize,

356
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 1: they just say you hungry, Right, So it didn't kind

357
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 1: of feel like it was in that same vein of

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Speaker 1: you know, testing out the waters. Right. So if if

359
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 1: we can kind of get through this brunch and like

360
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 1: not do any name calling or not yell at one another,

361
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,320
Speaker 1: we must be okay. Not realizing that we still have

362
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 1: not addressed the issues that made us fall out in

363
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 1: the first place, exactly, but when I mean honestly, I

364
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 1: feel like this episode really showed how much work there

365
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: is for Molly to do. And I know that everyone's

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00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 1: you know, people have I feel like people have been

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Speaker 1: in this space a team Molly or team Issa, and

368
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Speaker 1: I'm team bro Farm, I'm team Fixing. So I don't

369
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Speaker 1: want to why to get the wrong impression, but because

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Speaker 1: I do remember or my partner and I were discussing

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Speaker 1: it and we heard that some people were saying that, um,

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Speaker 1: Molly doesn't deserve to be with and because of how

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Speaker 1: she is, and I'm just like, wow, y'all tripping um.

374
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:58,679
Speaker 1: But beyond that piece, just like, I'm watching her be

375
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Speaker 1: so far into to Molly's world and she's messing up

376
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 1: her relationship with Andrew, and I'm wondering if she's saying

377
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 1: it the same way to everybody else is saying it.

378
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:15,160
Speaker 1: Probably this is work, Yeah, probably his work. And I'm

379
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 1: just like, girl, this is where we are the most

380
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,400
Speaker 1: easy going man right right. But I think she probably

381
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,120
Speaker 1: doesn't see it because going back to our continuous points

382
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Speaker 1: about self awareness, it doesn't feel like she is able

383
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 1: to really recognize when he is trying to gently like

384
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 1: hold her accountable. She doesn't take it like she will

385
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 1: not meet him halfway, you know. So after we see

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Speaker 1: the scene with her and Issa, then we see her

387
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 1: back at the apartment with Andrew and he's asking her

388
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 1: how did he go um? And then he also talks

389
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 1: about like the thing with his brother. So his brother

390
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 1: is in town and has invited him to a basketball game,

391
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 1: and she's like, uh, you know, why don't you just

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Speaker 1: go right and have a boy's night. And I'm just like, wow,

393
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 1: this is this is the extending of an olive branch.

394
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: This is can we can we reconcile? And honestly, it

395
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 1: feels a little bit like I'm gonna make you choose

396
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 1: between the two of us. Right now. I'm saying you

397
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: can have the both of us go over there, you

398
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 1: can chill, you can watch the game and all the stuff.

399
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,400
Speaker 1: But then I'm like, then, well, he like, if y'all,

400
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 1: if you and Andrew moved in together, it's Andrew's brother,

401
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 1: never a lot in the house. So that's what I

402
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 1: was gonna ask you, what are your thoughts about like

403
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 1: the survivability if that's a word of a relager. We're

404
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 1: gonna now thank you, but but the survivability of a

405
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: relationship that is still very early and there are already

406
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: signs of tension with the family. Honestly, I think that

407
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,360
Speaker 1: it would depend on who you were with. But with

408
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:56,200
Speaker 1: we're talking Andrew specifically, he is very invested in his family.

409
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: He wants a relationship with his family, and I would

410
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 1: even go so far to say is that he would

411
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 1: require anyone that he is with to also be in

412
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:12,439
Speaker 1: communion with his family, which means that this may not work,

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00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 1: and it may not work if specifically, if she is

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00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 1: unwilling to even engage in the conversation. I'm not saying

415
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 1: that she's wrong. I'm like, you know, racism is racism,

416
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 1: say see, that's the That's the point that makes it

417
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,399
Speaker 1: unclear for me, because it wasn't like he just you know,

418
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: made an off comment about like the shoes she was

419
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:37,679
Speaker 1: wearing or something. It was. It was a racist comment

420
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 1: that he made, And so I think even for Molly,

421
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 1: that should be like a moment of the pause and

422
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Speaker 1: think about is this something that I really want to

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Speaker 1: continue with given that his brother has already made this

424
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 1: kind of a comment. I think for me, I'm just

425
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 1: like when you when you fix your mouth to say

426
00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 1: you're gonna be in an interracial relationship, you better also

427
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:01,879
Speaker 1: be fixing your mouth to say you're gonna have some

428
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 1: tough conversations because you do not just marry or just

429
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 1: be with your partner, You also move in with that family.

430
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,120
Speaker 1: And I'm just like it is it is very euro

431
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,679
Speaker 1: Centure to think that the only person you're gonna have

432
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: to deal with is your partner. Nah, you're gonna deal

433
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 1: with their family. So if you're gonna have to deal

434
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 1: with that family, are you prepared to do so? Are

435
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 1: you willing to have conversations as needed? Are you willing

436
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 1: to figure out how y'all are both going to navigate

437
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: it together? Because if the answer is no, then why

438
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 1: are you in this relationship, especially with somebody who sees

439
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: their family as important as Andrew sees his family. So,

440
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 1: I mean, it started gets me thinking about like, not

441
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 1: just some of my clients, but some of my friends

442
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: have spoken about these interrelations relationships that they are in,

443
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 1: and it's like, Okay, well, maybe we we can't spend

444
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 1: we can't spend Christmas with Aunt Susie because she does

445
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: this nonsense and we're not gonna do that every year,

446
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: not at Christmas. Well, is it hurt for a lesser holiday? Okay,

447
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: we got that mapped out. Okay, this one seems to

448
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 1: behave when we are around this family as well, So

449
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 1: let's get all of us together. But that's holiday, you're

450
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 1: gonna have to have those conversations. So for me, I'm like,

451
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 1: if you're unwilling to me, what you just said is

452
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 1: that you're also unwilling to be in an interractual relationship,

453
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 1: especially with somebody who values their family. Yeah, and I

454
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 1: feel like that kind of conversation has been coming up

455
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,399
Speaker 1: a lot in the community. Um, just you know, given

456
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: everything that's going on in the world right now, it

457
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 1: does feel like people who are in interracial relationships or

458
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,640
Speaker 1: either continuing to have to have some of these very

459
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: tough conversations or maybe having some of these very difficult

460
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 1: conversations for the first time. And for me, I'm just like,

461
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 1: I like, how long you've been together, just not having

462
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 1: a conversation for the first time. But Okay, this is

463
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 1: a conversation that should have been had up front. It's

464
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 1: a it's a constant and ongoing conversation because racism is mundane.

465
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: It is at the last thing. It's the air we breathe,

466
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 1: it's the it's the ground we walk upon. It is

467
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: the foundation of what the United States was built on.

468
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: And then anti blackness everywhere else. So if we're gonna

469
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 1: if you're gonna be in a relationship with somebody that

470
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 1: is not black, even if you're in a relationship with

471
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 1: somebody like you're still gonna have to talk about internalized racism,

472
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: talk about how both of you have, you know, trying

473
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: the cool aid, and what ways you're gonna do, What

474
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 1: are you gonna do to get out of it? And

475
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 1: if you're going to be with somebody outside of your race,

476
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 1: you're going to have to have these conversations. Many of

477
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 1: them should be upfront before you decide to be committed

478
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 1: to one another. Are you willing to do this work?

479
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 1: That's the question. And right now she's basically saying, I'm

480
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 1: unwilling to speak with you know, I'm m willing to

481
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 1: be in the space with your brother. But I don't

482
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 1: know that that's gonna be okay for Andrew. This might

483
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 1: be where he draws the line. Yeah, yeah, And I

484
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,439
Speaker 1: do feel like this might be we we're starting to

485
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: see some cracks, um, because you know, fast forwarding to

486
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,360
Speaker 1: us a few scenes ahead, um, when we see her

487
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 1: come back to the apartment with the food, right, so

488
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 1: he it sounds like the expectation was that they were

489
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,399
Speaker 1: having Indian food and she brought back what did she

490
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 1: bring back not Indian food? Not Indian food. I don't

491
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: know if it was Thie food or something else, um,

492
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:34,159
Speaker 1: but unilateral decision. Right. There was no communication with him

493
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,160
Speaker 1: about you know, the fact that we're not having Indian food,

494
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: and so it feels like there was a little bit

495
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: of tension there. But then we see Nathan and Easta walking,

496
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: so you know, they can't kind of finish that conversation.

497
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 1: But it does feel like we are starting to see

498
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: some cracks there in the relationship between absolutely. And It's

499
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: funny because I was just saying this the other day.

500
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: I was just like, you know, it's kind of sad

501
00:28:56,320 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 1: because I think that I think that answers actually really

502
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: great for her and somebody who is willing to sort

503
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 1: of cater to her ego just a little bit, um,

504
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 1: but beyond just you know, catering to her ego, I

505
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 1: think that he loves her like or at the very

506
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 1: least express his love to her. On a level that

507
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 1: she has never experienced. Yes, and I think that she

508
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: does not necessarily see herself. I don't think that she

509
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: is able to accept all the love that he has

510
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 1: to get to her. So she's, you know, she's loving

511
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 1: herself and loving him on on a half a cup,

512
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 1: but he's got a cup full of love to give her.

513
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: She's overwhelmed by it, and it looks like she is

514
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 1: building in separation between her and him. Well, I think

515
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 1: that that's where she was kind of alluding to maybe

516
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 1: in the scene we saw with her therapist, right, like,

517
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 1: just the amount of work that's involved, because it does

518
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,239
Speaker 1: really require her to get so much out of her

519
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 1: own hand and to to be less self absorbed to

520
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: really think about what in this relationship she's gonna have

521
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 1: to grow. She's gonna have to grow, and if she

522
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: has to grow in this relationship, I think that it

523
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: would have a positive effect on all her other relationships.

524
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 1: The fact that number one, he's one of the only

525
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: people that calls her out, it's a gentle call or

526
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: call her in rather very gently, um taking care for

527
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 1: her ego. But I think for me, one of the

528
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 1: spaces that I was most concerned was when um, you

529
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: know she comes back, was it? She comes back from therapy?

530
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 1: And he was saying like, you know, how does it go?

531
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: How did it go? And all this, and just like, well,

532
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 1: I know you miss her, and then having to reiterate

533
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 1: that I'm on your side. For me, that was not

534
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 1: a good sign because I'm like, I'm on your side

535
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: speaks to she doesn't feel you are. It speaks to

536
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 1: I'm afraid to say what is really on my mind

537
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 1: in a way that is clear and um without sugarcoating,

538
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 1: because you will interpret that as my being against you

539
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 1: when I am always free. Mm hmmm, Yeah, I mean, well,

540
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 1: we clearly see the level of defensiveness she often has

541
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 1: when people trying to tell her things, so clearly he

542
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 1: has picked up on that in their relationship. Yeah, And

543
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't think that serves either one

544
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 1: of them, because at some point he's gonna get tired

545
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: of walking on eggshells. And I'm I'm like, I'm hoping

546
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: that it doesn't happen at the most inopportune of moments. Right, Well,

547
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: we only have one more episode, so we gotta see

548
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 1: if it's gonna blow up this season. Are we gonna

549
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: have to wait until season five. I don't know how

550
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: much our little hearts can take in the next thirty minutes.

551
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:52,959
Speaker 1: We'll have to see you. So meanwhile, Issa is helping

552
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: Nathan to move, so he is moving out of the

553
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 1: apartment with Andrew and is moving into his own spot.

554
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 1: And so we saw this awkwardness with her again when

555
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 1: she was telling Lawrence about who he was. And then

556
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 1: she's like rehearsing, like how she's going to greet Faith

557
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: because when she first said it, I was like, no,

558
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: you can't see that. That's not gonna go for the well, like, Okay,

559
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 1: if you want to say that, you can't say that.

560
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: He don't don't say that. Yeah you. Despite all of

561
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 1: our rehearsing, she is just as awkward when she gets

562
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 1: to the door. I'm like, yo, this is painful. Yeah.

563
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,959
Speaker 1: So they're having a little bit of banter about you know,

564
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 1: the boxes and you know, packing up and stuff like that,

565
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 1: and then she tells him Oh. He says that they're

566
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: gonna buy the barbershop and then there is space if

567
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 1: she needs, kind of like off the space in the back,

568
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: and so he's being really flortatious with her, saying like, oh,

569
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: I'll earn it kind of thing, right, um and this

570
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 1: is the moment where she decides like, hey, so I

571
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: don't know if I should to all you this, but

572
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 1: Laurence and I, you know, are kind of like trying

573
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 1: to figure out. So what are your thoughts about whether

574
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: she really needed to have that conversation with Andrew. I'm trying, Andrew.

575
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 1: She I actually appreciate it that she did have that conversation.

576
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 1: I feel like that was her making a boundary clear

577
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: that right now we stay in friendship, we are not

578
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 1: moving forward, we are not trying nothing. This is where

579
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: I am. I appreciated that she was able to be

580
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 1: honest in that moment and just say like, hey, nah,

581
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: it's not gonna happen that way. And I want to

582
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: make sure that I'm being clear. But I think that

583
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: some of that may have also been motivated in some ways,

584
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: um by you know, Molly calling herselfish and saying that

585
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 1: she uses people. So if I'm gonna get this office

586
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: space or whatever, I want to make sure that you

587
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: understand exactly where we stand so you can make an

588
00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 1: informed decision about how you would like to engage with me. Okay,

589
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 1: so I can't see your perspective there. I think though

590
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: I am on the team of like, girl, did you

591
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: need to share that already? Right, because it is still

592
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:15,280
Speaker 1: really early. I feel like with Lawrence and so super early,

593
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: and he might be moving, might be completely moving, and

594
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 1: y'all not even gonna be able to figure it out.

595
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 1: But but I do appreciate, like you said, like the

596
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: idea of setting a boundary. So if she is in

597
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 1: the space of feeling like okay, even if I don't

598
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 1: know what's happening with Lawrence, I know I want to

599
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 1: explore it, so I want to be clear with you.

600
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 1: But if she was doing it motivated by the idea,

601
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: then she thinks that she and Lawrence are like getting

602
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 1: back together. That's where I feel a little hesitant about

603
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:46,240
Speaker 1: like her not because like, don't put that cop before

604
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 1: the horse now, right, and you know I'm teaming I won't.

605
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 1: I would like to see this, I would like to

606
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 1: see them together. But um, But at the same time,

607
00:34:58,239 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 1: I was just like, you know what, having the car

608
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,840
Speaker 1: conversation and letting it be known like, Hey, I'm actually

609
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 1: exploring this thing with somebody else right now, which means

610
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,360
Speaker 1: I am not in the space to be able to

611
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 1: explore with you, especially if you know the flirtations, banter

612
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,840
Speaker 1: and all that stuff that we saw was real, and

613
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,280
Speaker 1: then being able to cut it off and say like, Okay,

614
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: you can't flirt with me. I'm flirting over there exclusively

615
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: from now right. I think that, um, I think it

616
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:29,320
Speaker 1: speaks to a different like a number one, a different

617
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 1: level of maturity. But also that both of these people

618
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 1: are people that she has slept with, and having that

619
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 1: level of transparency might be necessary given that they are

620
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 1: you know that she's in this position and that with

621
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: Lauren she has messed up. Good point. That's a good point.

622
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 1: You're right, You're right. So we see Nathan, you know,

623
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 1: he tries to kind of take it on the chin, right,

624
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 1: but then he gets a little pitty, He like, oh,

625
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 1: I thought she was done with dad, and I hope

626
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 1: he got his step together right, And so yeah, I was.

627
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 1: If you don't call it out, my man, if you

628
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: don't call that out, this is why I'm saying, no, Laurence,

629
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 1: he got it together right. So then she of course

630
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 1: feels it feels like she needs to defend him, right,

631
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 1: and so then she says, well, at least he knows

632
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 1: how to use his words and didn't basically just ghost me.

633
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 1: And so then we see Nathan clearly feels like it's

634
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 1: important for him to share that when he was gone

635
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 1: for that time that we saw last season, Um, it

636
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: was because he had gone home and has been diagnosed

637
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: with a bipolar disorder. Yeah. Yeah, so it definitely feels like, yeah,

638
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,919
Speaker 1: it it really felt like, you know, it was good

639
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 1: for him to share that. I am though, wondering why

640
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 1: he didn't share it maybe before, um, because it was

641
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 1: clear that they had been continuing to get close this

642
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 1: season without it necessarily becoming a flirty thing, like just

643
00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 1: on a friendship level. Um, So I was wondering why

644
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 1: he might not have shared that before this moment. You know,

645
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,360
Speaker 1: I had no idea why he wouldn't have shared it

646
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:10,439
Speaker 1: before this moment, But I'm happy that he did. Yes,

647
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 1: I think that, you know, like this to me speaks

648
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,839
Speaker 1: to a level of comfort, of trust, of knowing that

649
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:20,399
Speaker 1: someone's gonna hold space for you. Um. And it's like,

650
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 1: maybe this is the first time that Issa actually confronted

651
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 1: with him that you ghosted me on this level, Like

652
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: I was hurt when you ghosted me, and yes, I'm

653
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: back with this person. But he used his words and

654
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: you didn't. So now it's like, okay, well let me

655
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 1: tell you a little bit why about why I disappeared,

656
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: so that we can at the very least be on

657
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,360
Speaker 1: some level of equal footing here. So I like just

658
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 1: like to be able to say it, to not have

659
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: to where the the you know, the strong black man

660
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,399
Speaker 1: mask and be like, hey, I am a black man,

661
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 1: I am still strong, and I have this thing go

662
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: on and I trust you with it. M. I was

663
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 1: just like, Wow, he speaks to where they have been

664
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,360
Speaker 1: able to what they have been able to achieve together,

665
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 1: as far as him being able to be so open

666
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: about this m M. Yeah. And we saw Andrew, I think,

667
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 1: allude to it a little bit last week with his

668
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 1: conversation with Molly, but he didn't like go into the

669
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,840
Speaker 1: full details. And so clearly we know now because Nathan

670
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 1: had shared that he's been diagnosed with a bipolar disorder,

671
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 1: and I also appreciated that he framed it in a

672
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 1: way that he has kind of been thinking about like

673
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 1: his support system, right, because we know that that is

674
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: an important part for somebody who has been diagnosed with

675
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: a with a bipolar disorder, is what your support system

676
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 1: looks like and so telling Eisa, you know you feel

677
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 1: like somebody who is a good fit for me. You're

678
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 1: somebody who I want to keep in my circle. You know,

679
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 1: that's all dry your tears. We're gonna be all right,

680
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:02,800
Speaker 1: We're gonna be all yeah. So that that felt like

681
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 1: a very tender moment, and you know, I feel like

682
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 1: she handled it really well because I think that that

683
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,760
Speaker 1: is a concern for people. You know, bipolar disorder feels

684
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:13,280
Speaker 1: like one of those diagnosis that feels a little scarier

685
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 1: for people, and it's not always really easy to talk about.

686
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: And so I feel like she did a good job

687
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,280
Speaker 1: of allowing him to have that moment and not reacting

688
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 1: in a way that made him feel shamed exactly, because

689
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: I mean, number one, it's hard to even diagnose it

690
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 1: right because it can look like one thing or another thing.

691
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 1: But and the way that it's talked about in media

692
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,319
Speaker 1: can often make it feel like, oh they you know,

693
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 1: like this person's back polar and it's just like come on,

694
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 1: like you stop that. So being able to have this conversation,

695
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that they will talk about it more in

696
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:55,760
Speaker 1: subsequent episodes. Um just introducing it and introducing a black

697
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 1: man with a mental health disorder who is also seeking

698
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 1: help or and creating a village around himself. I feel

699
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 1: like even just that piece of it lessons on lessons

700
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 1: on lessons. Yes, yes, and this therapy for black men

701
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 1: and therapy for black girls. So don't get your therapist, y'all. Yeah,

702
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 1: And you know, if you want to hear a more

703
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:20,800
Speaker 1: thorough conversation about bipolar disorder, of course, Melissa Eiffel joined

704
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,600
Speaker 1: me on session. I forget the number, but I included

705
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 1: in the show notes talking all about being diagnosed with

706
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 1: a bipolar disorder and did a great job of breaking

707
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: all of that down. So definitely check that episode out

708
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:35,399
Speaker 1: if you want a more thorough conversation there. So say,

709
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 1: I'm always so impressed by your memories. Well, I remember

710
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 1: that we had the conversation. I just don't remember what

711
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: number it was, Like you remember people's names sometimes, remember

712
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 1: even about this session, And I'm just like, here, now

713
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 1: you know everything you talked about. When you're make me happy,

714
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:05,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take some James CT. So earlier you mentioned

715
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,799
Speaker 1: the idea of nostalgia as it weighed in in the

716
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 1: conversation between Molly and Issa, Right, like they were talking

717
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 1: about family and getting caught up and those kinds of things,

718
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:18,919
Speaker 1: And it feels like that threat of nostalgia also came

719
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 1: into play when we see them having the game night

720
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 1: or whatever it was, the dinner between nostalgia. It's the

721
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:30,359
Speaker 1: most forced nostalgia of my life. Well, the nostalgia I

722
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 1: thought was like them thinking about Likesa's first apartment and

723
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 1: then playing the Celebrity Height game. Oh no, I was

724
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 1: just like, you know what, this whole thing feels like

725
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: we are still talking around the thing that I felt

726
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,800
Speaker 1: that we need to talk about, and it just felt

727
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:49,840
Speaker 1: awkward really to see. To me, it didn't feel awkward

728
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: until we saw the text message, right, I mean, it

729
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:56,439
Speaker 1: definitely felt awkward when Nick, Nathan, and Issa first got

730
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 1: there because they were trying to navigate, right, they were

731
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 1: trying to navigate where they're um, they were gonna stay

732
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: and you know, and clear it was clear that Andrew

733
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 1: was kind of pushing for this encounter because I guess

734
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 1: he thought, Okay, if they can just been time with

735
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 1: one another and see how much they enjoy each other's company,

736
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 1: maybe they can kind of be on the roads of recovery.

737
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:20,760
Speaker 1: And clearly, time and all around. Well, Molly and Andrew

738
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 1: were getting into a conversation that definitely needed to happen,

739
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:29,720
Speaker 1: and that energy plus the energy of Issa and Nathan

740
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 1: who just had a conversation, and we're in a completely

741
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: different energy. I'm like, those two energies don't belong in

742
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 1: the same space together. And then trying to use one

743
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,240
Speaker 1: energy to fix the other actors just's like okay, because

744
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 1: I was like, Molly is off with Andrew, Molly is

745
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 1: off with Issa, and now we're supposed to sit down

746
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 1: and commune with one another. The only people that are

747
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 1: on board with each other are the other people or

748
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:59,959
Speaker 1: Nathan and Andrew. Basically, it almostn't happen. There's no bet

749
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 1: m hmmm, which means that the only neutral party in

750
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 1: the whole space is Nathan. Yeah, right right, So yeah,

751
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: I didn't even read it that way, But I can't

752
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 1: see your perspective now that you say that, because to me,

753
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 1: it felt like they were like having an okay time. Now.

754
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: I definitely didn't think that this meant they were gonna

755
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 1: be like going on all these double dates together and

756
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: stuff like that, but it did feel like, Okay, they

757
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 1: are making a little bit of progress and can kind

758
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: of be in the same room with one another. Yeah,

759
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 1: but clearly we saw that that was not the case. Yeah.

760
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 1: And I think for me that it fell off because

761
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 1: I possibly because I was already thinking about the fact

762
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 1: that Molly still does not think that she was wrong,

763
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: and the conversation that she was having versus the conversation

764
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 1: EASA was having after their initial brunch together. I'm like,

765
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 1: Esa is thinking that things are okay, Alie is thinking

766
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:57,360
Speaker 1: that they are absolutely not okay. So I'm still moving

767
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,839
Speaker 1: in that energy and I'm just like, Yeah, that's whole

768
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 1: feels forced and contrived, and it feels like a front

769
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 1: or Molly's part to not be honest about the fact

770
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: that she's not feeling it, where for Issa she may

771
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 1: be feeling it, but she should also feel that something

772
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:16,879
Speaker 1: about it is off because she knows Molly. She's been

773
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 1: around Molly for years and years and years. Almost like

774
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 1: this whole conversation is off. Ya, I gotta reminiscent about

775
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 1: so that gonna far back because you've got nothing going

776
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 1: for you right now. M hm. So you know I

777
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 1: had to go back right because I think in one

778
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:33,359
Speaker 1: of our earlier conversations, I was like, what happened here,

779
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:37,480
Speaker 1: Like where did they get off track? And so it

780
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 1: feels like maybe the beginning of this was at the

781
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 1: end of last season when Molly did not tell Issa

782
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 1: that Nathan came by the apartment for her birthday. And

783
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 1: so you see then and Molly is talking about like

784
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 1: all the issues she's having at work, and so you

785
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 1: see Issa challenge her, like, girl, what's going on with you?

786
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 1: Like you've really been clowning for several weeks, Like you

787
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:02,839
Speaker 1: got all of this bad energy towards Nathan. You know,

788
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 1: you've got issues with people at work, Like what is

789
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 1: really going on? And so it doesn't feel like they denominatory,

790
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,799
Speaker 1: It doesn't. It doesn't feel like they ever really resolved that.

791
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 1: And so then it feels like we continued with that

792
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:20,439
Speaker 1: into this season until clearly now we have had yet

793
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,720
Speaker 1: another blow up, not as big as the block party

794
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:27,279
Speaker 1: or not as much energy, but still equally as sad.

795
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 1: I think you know now that you mentioned that that

796
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:37,320
Speaker 1: ending of last season, and it'sa's confrontation of like that,

797
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 1: that's just to me, it throws things in a completely

798
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: different way because I'm like, Okay, now with that in mind,

799
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: it makes sense that that Molly is on some Nah,

800
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 1: she honed this thing that she does his home grown

801
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 1: not to to sort of put herself back in the

802
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:58,840
Speaker 1: position that she felt that she was in or that

803
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: she should be in, because it's like, well, how you

804
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 1: how are you miss mestic gonna call me out? Mmm? Like, well,

805
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 1: I feel like I was a little misled because when

806
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 1: we saw this season open, they were doing the self

807
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 1: care Sunday thing, right, but we don't know that they

808
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:20,839
Speaker 1: had kind of just again like patched over this confrontation

809
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 1: that they had at the end of the the last season

810
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 1: and had never actually gone back to to really working

811
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 1: that out. And now from there to here to this year.

812
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: So we see this scene in Andrew goes to get

813
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:36,320
Speaker 1: another bottle of wine out of the refrigerator and Molly

814
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 1: picks up her phone to send a text that she

815
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:41,800
Speaker 1: thought she was sending to Andrew, and clearly it is

816
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 1: this is drinking and texting. He gots to be more careful.

817
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 1: I need everybody from here on in double check anyone

818
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 1: that you think you're sending a text message to. Ac

819
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 1: think you've done, type the check again to make sure

820
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 1: you're sending it to the right person. You do not

821
00:46:56,719 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 1: want your depict to go to your mom. You do

822
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 1: not want your nude to go to your sister. So

823
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 1: make sure that you you check and gible check check

824
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 1: twice to make sure that we no longer have this

825
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 1: type of mishaps with the thumbs. These these these drum

826
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: thumbs text the own person every time. Yes, So she

827
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:22,240
Speaker 1: she opens the message and it says, see, I'm trying

828
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,759
Speaker 1: with her. It's interesting that Molly even felt like she

829
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 1: needed to send that message in the moment, because it's like,

830
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 1: could y'all not have just talked about that like once

831
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 1: they left. Yeah, So like the urgency of feeling like

832
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 1: she needed to like say that to Andrew I think

833
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 1: was interesting. You know what, thank you for bringing that

834
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: up because because it's sort of reminded me like the

835
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,400
Speaker 1: same way that Andrew is having to state the unnecessary

836
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:52,920
Speaker 1: of I'm on your side, Molly, the unnecessary piece of

837
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 1: needing to state, see, I'm trying. And I think that

838
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,919
Speaker 1: has to do with the fact that Andrew has been

839
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:01,240
Speaker 1: confronting her about the back that she does miss her friend,

840
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 1: but and also calling her out on not trying, like

841
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 1: you're not really trying to fix nothing. You say you

842
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,799
Speaker 1: want to fix. But then you're not acting like you

843
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:11,040
Speaker 1: want to fix. And I think that's the same thing

844
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 1: that he said you want, say you're doant things fixed. No,

845
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: you don't want things fixed. You want people to come

846
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,799
Speaker 1: back crawling to you with apologies on their lips, to

847
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 1: place you back on the pedestal that you think you

848
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 1: belong while they worship at your feet. That's what you want.

849
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 1: You want people to be forever contract for how they

850
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: wronged you. That does feel like it is. That's a

851
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 1: part of it now that you say that, right, like that,

852
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 1: even if somebody apologizes, even if you know they do

853
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 1: the thing that you say they want that you want, like,

854
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 1: are they ever really forgiven? Yeah? Or are we still

855
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 1: punishing them to prove themselves to you? Exactly? And this

856
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 1: feels like I'm gonna keep punishing her. So she's got

857
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 1: proved herself to me with everything that she's got, and

858
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 1: what she's got right now is not enough for me.

859
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:08,400
Speaker 1: But I want you to see that I'm trying so

860
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 1: that you could stop calling me out on it. I

861
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 1: don't want your confrontation. I don't want you to keep

862
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 1: calling me in because it makes me, It makes me

863
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:19,800
Speaker 1: feel something I think it makes it feel some type

864
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 1: of way, maybe a little bit guilty. Maybe it's a

865
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: little bit more of a self reflective moment. And she

866
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:31,240
Speaker 1: starts seeing how she has contributed from consistently being called

867
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 1: in by Andrew about how she has been behaving in

868
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 1: this space. Yeah. Yeah, So of course Hesa is upset

869
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 1: at this text message that, you know. She's like, oh,

870
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 1: I don't think you're listening this to me. She runs

871
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 1: out of the house and Molly chases after her, and

872
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:50,839
Speaker 1: so they have this conversation on the steps about you know,

873
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:52,799
Speaker 1: I thought that we were trying to get this back

874
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: on track. Molly says, you know, stuff has been off

875
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 1: track for a lot of a long time. We didn't

876
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 1: even talk about the ball party, Like, we have not

877
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:04,839
Speaker 1: been in the same place in this relationship for a

878
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,359
Speaker 1: long time. And so she says, maybe who I am

879
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 1: now and who you are now are just a not

880
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 1: a good fit for one another. And then you didn't

881
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:18,839
Speaker 1: mean it well clearly right, And then East's like, okay,

882
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 1: so this is where I want to talk about this

883
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 1: testing behavior. I don't think that was on testing behavior. No,

884
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 1: I'm saying Molly was testing that tracklingling if you try it.

885
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 1: Somebody will call your bluff and you are not a

886
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 1: good poker player. I don't do that. If you do

887
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:48,439
Speaker 1: not mean it, do not do it. It's the same

888
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 1: way that like, you know, Dr a Jetta. On occasion,

889
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 1: she'd be talking about something like you can go ahead

890
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,279
Speaker 1: call call your cable company and see if they are

891
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 1: lower that there on telling you're gonna leave, actually be

892
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 1: prepared to leave these You can't make a half a threat.

893
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: You have to mean it. So I'm looking like so

894
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: here she is trying to be like trying to force

895
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: what she has not been doing. So being in that

896
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:18,919
Speaker 1: position of being contriked, of being of being apologetic, and

897
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 1: of in some way or shape or form begging for

898
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:24,799
Speaker 1: forgiveness saying that no, I want you to be in

899
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 1: my life, which makes me wonder about what her core uh,

900
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:34,360
Speaker 1: what sort of core message that Molly has for herself.

901
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 1: If she needs people to constantly basically reassure her that

902
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 1: they want her, it makes me wonder if she has

903
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,760
Speaker 1: a core message in herself that she is not wanted

904
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 1: or that she's you know, that she's unwanted or unlovable

905
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 1: and needs consistent reconfirmation from people, especially through how they

906
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 1: act when they have wronged her. M m, yeah, it

907
00:51:57,120 --> 00:52:00,799
Speaker 1: definitely feels like something is going on there because I

908
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 1: do think, like you've mentioned, anytime you get into a

909
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 1: situation where you are trying to give someone basically an

910
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 1: ultimatum or a threat like that, you really have kind

911
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 1: of cornered yourself, right, because if you get the reaction

912
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:16,920
Speaker 1: that you want, which is for her to say, oh

913
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 1: my gosh, please no, Molly like that kind of thing,

914
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 1: then you have to you have to keep that same

915
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 1: energy throughout the relationship. Right, So how many tests are

916
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:29,319
Speaker 1: there going to be every time there is an attention

917
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,880
Speaker 1: or a rupture in the relationship, or the person says

918
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,799
Speaker 1: like Issa did, like Okay, I see what you're saying.

919
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna fight you. And then you're left feeling like, so,

920
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,759
Speaker 1: now this this whole self fulfilling prophecy of nobody wants

921
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 1: to be in relationship with me or maybe I'm too

922
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:49,479
Speaker 1: much or whatever. Now you've proven that, right, Yeah, Yeah,

923
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 1: like Selffelling prophecy, go ahead and reconfirm with how people behave.

924
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,839
Speaker 1: Go ahead and punish people according to how you felt

925
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 1: that they've wronged you. You are going to lose at

926
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 1: on point, somebody will call your love, and her bluff

927
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 1: got called, and specifically it didn't get called exactly in

928
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:12,040
Speaker 1: the way that even I think Momley was expected, because

929
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 1: if you look at ESA's face, I was like, go

930
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:18,880
Speaker 1: het girl, gonna act your butt off. Her whole I

931
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:23,320
Speaker 1: was like the like the like you could almost watch

932
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:27,399
Speaker 1: her going through the change curve right cooler got thinking

933
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: about cooler ross and the and the various stages you know, denial, grief, acceptance,

934
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 1: she went. It's like her whole face went through all

935
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 1: of that before she just said Okay, yeah, like I

936
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:45,240
Speaker 1: respect that this is where you are and I'm willing

937
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 1: to move forward to see I kind of read that

938
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:52,239
Speaker 1: as exhaustion, right, like that she feels like she has

939
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 1: done all this. Now, granted she has not really put

940
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 1: the issue on the table, she has not done that,

941
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 1: but it does feel like at least she thinks that

942
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 1: she has made all of these efforts to try to

943
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 1: get them back on track, and none of it has

944
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:09,359
Speaker 1: clearly been well received by Molly. Yeah, because I'm just like, well,

945
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 1: it's almost like, well, if Molly doesn't think that she

946
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:15,399
Speaker 1: owes an apology and things that I'm the only one

947
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:19,759
Speaker 1: that owes an apology. What really here has changed? What

948
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 1: more does she want from me? Because I can't return

949
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 1: to that person, especially when I it's almost like I'm

950
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:33,960
Speaker 1: looking around at my other relationships and the value that

951
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:39,480
Speaker 1: I receive from them and the value that they say

952
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 1: that they received from me. That this these are reciprocal

953
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:49,840
Speaker 1: relationships that are able to grow with me, not regress

954
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 1: me back to who I was. And I think that

955
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 1: that part is really important, you know, to get back

956
00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 1: into my business on occasion, this is one of those

957
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 1: occasions I had to to deal with my own stuff,

958
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:06,399
Speaker 1: right Like I've I've changed a lot since you know, elementary,

959
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:10,360
Speaker 1: middle school, whatever. But I had a friend. I've literally

960
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,359
Speaker 1: known her my entire life. I do not know a

961
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:15,400
Speaker 1: time where I did not know her. But when we

962
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 1: would first get back together, I'm just like, you know,

963
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 1: this feels off. I I could. I had to learn

964
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:25,800
Speaker 1: to find my voice when I was in her presence

965
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 1: because all of our lives, it was always her first,

966
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 1: me second, Her speak first, me speak second, her be

967
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 1: the president, me be the vice president her. You know,

968
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:42,200
Speaker 1: it's like she came first, I came after. There was

969
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:45,759
Speaker 1: not necessarily equal ground. It was she's the leader and

970
00:55:45,840 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 1: I'm the follower, and now we are different people than

971
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 1: who we were back then. But I regress to who

972
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:56,080
Speaker 1: I was when I was there, when I was in

973
00:55:56,200 --> 00:56:00,360
Speaker 1: her presence, because I knew my role the this was

974
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 1: my role with her, I did not know how to

975
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 1: reconcile the who I am now with who she is now,

976
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,640
Speaker 1: And so we fall back into these patterns. You know,

977
00:56:10,719 --> 00:56:13,240
Speaker 1: you try to pick up where you left off, but

978
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 1: sometimes we forget that where we left off is so

979
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 1: far in the past that it doesn't match who we

980
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 1: are right now. Yeah. You don't even know how to

981
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:25,240
Speaker 1: get back to that place exactly. And in some ways

982
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:28,759
Speaker 1: Molly has progressed, like, let's not forget her girl, she

983
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:36,319
Speaker 1: has grown with this relationship. She has not, Yeah, And

984
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:39,600
Speaker 1: in some ways she's unwilling to really do the work

985
00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 1: that is required of her to make all the things

986
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:48,120
Speaker 1: come full force right here, right now. Yeah. And I think,

987
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 1: you know, thinking back to the conversation with her therapist

988
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:53,920
Speaker 1: where she's talking about how much work it is, I

989
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 1: think that there is so much work to do in

990
00:56:56,239 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 1: terms of her self awareness that she only really feels

991
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:02,839
Speaker 1: like she can do work in one relationship and right

992
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: now that work is with Andrew, and so it is

993
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:10,640
Speaker 1: not looking like well, yes, but I think she's focused

994
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:13,239
Speaker 1: on like how can I make improvements in this relationship

995
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:16,600
Speaker 1: and not thinking that some of those skills are actually transferable,

996
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:19,240
Speaker 1: Like some of the same mishap she's having in her

997
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:21,840
Speaker 1: relationship with Andrew are the same things that are happening

998
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:24,600
Speaker 1: in her relationship with Eza. Don't tell them about these

999
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 1: transferable skills. I just try to tell people like, like, alright,

1000
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 1: so like sex wise or sex therapy wise, I'm like,

1001
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 1: I ask people about the skills they use that work

1002
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:40,240
Speaker 1: all the time. At work, you do a lot of

1003
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:43,760
Speaker 1: stuff to prepare just to be in the space you

1004
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 1: you you do your hair, You make sure that your

1005
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 1: clothes are clean, You wash your body, your lotion your body,

1006
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 1: You get dressed. You give yourself enough space and time

1007
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 1: to get there. You might even start off slow with

1008
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 1: work so that you can ease into the work day

1009
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,560
Speaker 1: for something, would we like to hit the ground running

1010
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 1: either way, there's preparation that happens before. Meanwhile, we don't

1011
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 1: put the same level of effort into our sex lives.

1012
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 1: M we don't prepare ourselves. We don't we don't fashion ourselves.

1013
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 1: We just think that because maybe we live with our partners,

1014
00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:19,440
Speaker 1: that sex is guaranteed at any time, and that you

1015
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:23,240
Speaker 1: don't actually have to do any preparation the same way

1016
00:58:23,240 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 1: that we would do preparation at work. I'm like, if

1017
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:29,040
Speaker 1: you don't transfer them skills like you know how to

1018
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 1: you know how to ease somebody into where you are,

1019
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 1: you know how to try to convinse the boss about

1020
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 1: our grades that you want. You do a lot of

1021
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,320
Speaker 1: free work, same thing with sex. Where is your free work?

1022
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:42,720
Speaker 1: And with this, I'm just like the level of effort

1023
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:45,960
Speaker 1: that you are putting into maintaining this relationship with Andrew,

1024
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:50,200
Speaker 1: your willingness to have tough conversations, your willingness to confront

1025
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 1: yourself and be in therapy as needed. Where it was

1026
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 1: this energy with Issa? Yeah, because I do think it's

1027
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 1: telling that it wasn't the blow up at the block

1028
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 1: party that like send her to therapy. She did not

1029
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 1: recognize the need to go back to therapy until she

1030
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 1: was on the vacation with Andrew. She's not saying how

1031
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 1: all these things are connected that she ends up being

1032
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 1: the common denominator in all these spaces. Yes, Yes, and

1033
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 1: that's kind of sad and where the work needs to happen, right,

1034
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:23,720
Speaker 1: And I feel like that's what Dr Ronda was trying

1035
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 1: to get her to kind of pay attention. Dr Ronda's

1036
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 1: gonna have to be a little less subtle, and I'm

1037
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:32,440
Speaker 1: saying that because she already has subtle and Andrew, I

1038
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 1: think that every now and then a therapists ripped that

1039
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:41,400
Speaker 1: band aid off. Yeah, well, I think we pay attention

1040
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:43,200
Speaker 1: to the fact that this is like her first session

1041
00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:45,440
Speaker 1: back after not being there for some time, so she's

1042
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 1: probably still trying to abses us like, Okay, how far

1043
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 1: can I push her now that she's re engaged with therapy. True,

1044
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:58,120
Speaker 1: I have been known to make people cry in session one.

1045
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: It is a lesson at a skill because I'll just

1046
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:04,520
Speaker 1: be like, oh, so this is what you're saying, and

1047
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:08,400
Speaker 1: they be like when you say it like that, and

1048
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 1: I'm just like, well, you, therapy is not polite conversation

1049
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 1: and I didn't come here so you can waste your

1050
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:19,480
Speaker 1: time or money. Time is your most precious commodity and

1051
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 1: I won't have you wasted not with me. So I'm

1052
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 1: gonna say the thing. I'll say it gently, especially in

1053
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:28,840
Speaker 1: the first session. I'll be very gentle with you, but

1054
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:33,520
Speaker 1: I'm not going to hold it just because you know.

1055
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 1: So I'm just like, I like that, you know. She

1056
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:38,959
Speaker 1: she did try to hold her accountable, she did try

1057
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 1: to to move her in that space. Molly was unwilling

1058
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 1: to see or go. For me, that's probably a moment

1059
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:48,640
Speaker 1: where I'm like, Okay, let's let's move you into different shoes,

1060
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:51,400
Speaker 1: let's move you to a different position. Let's try to

1061
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 1: consider all the angles, all the things that are at

1062
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 1: play here, and maybe that helps. But I'm just like,

1063
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 1: at this point, Molly is on the verge of losing

1064
01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 1: the relationship with Andrew, losing the relationship with Issa, and

1065
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:10,160
Speaker 1: we don't even know what what things have been like

1066
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:12,280
Speaker 1: at work for her. I mean, we know that the

1067
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 1: last thing we saw her yelling at her secretary, yes, yes,

1068
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:18,600
Speaker 1: you're right, you're right. Yeah, there was already tension there

1069
01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:21,520
Speaker 1: because she's still trying to figure out a good, you know,

1070
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:25,360
Speaker 1: relationship with Torreon after she kind of damaged that relationship

1071
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:28,000
Speaker 1: last season. So we know there's still some tension at

1072
01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:31,040
Speaker 1: work for Shure Are So then there's a lot of

1073
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 1: work to be done. And for me, this is an emergency. Yeah,

1074
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:38,640
Speaker 1: so we did get a question, and I think it

1075
01:01:38,720 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 1: is a perfect high end to your statement about the

1076
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:45,240
Speaker 1: roles that you and your friend played. So Barry, who

1077
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 1: is the genius behind the podcast directory podcast in Color,

1078
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 1: So she is a faithful o G member of the

1079
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls community. If Dr Donna is coming back,

1080
01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:59,000
Speaker 1: I have a question that I want you all to address,

1081
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:04,640
Speaker 1: and it is a great question, she says. We all

1082
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:07,600
Speaker 1: talk a lot about the strong friend, and in this

1083
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:11,120
Speaker 1: dynamic of the four friends, it seems like until now,

1084
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 1: Molly was a strong friend. Good job, come through and

1085
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 1: asked to all of the events. But what about when

1086
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 1: the strong friend doesn't know how to be vulnerable because

1087
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:25,240
Speaker 1: they've always stayed in the strong friend place. They don't

1088
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:28,680
Speaker 1: want advice. They give it even though they call people

1089
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:31,520
Speaker 1: users because they don't have the space to be vulnerable

1090
01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 1: in return. Right right? I like that, right absolutely. It's

1091
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:46,560
Speaker 1: it's funny this. This takes me back. It takes me

1092
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:50,760
Speaker 1: back a little over a year ago. I recorded my

1093
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:54,160
Speaker 1: first if Therapy Walls could Talk video. I didn't call

1094
01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:58,080
Speaker 1: it them back back then, but it was called fuck it,

1095
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 1: I'll do it. It's still on my Instagram today. And

1096
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:06,480
Speaker 1: it came about because there I am sitting in therapy,

1097
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:09,880
Speaker 1: here's somebody talk about something. Yeah, I mean I was

1098
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:11,360
Speaker 1: thinking about doing this, but then I was just like

1099
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:13,680
Speaker 1: it I do it myself. And I was like, yeah,

1100
01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: does that serve you? And how often we move? And

1101
01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:21,360
Speaker 1: fuck it, I'll do it because we don't. We don't.

1102
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:23,959
Speaker 1: We're just like, well, they're not gonna do it right,

1103
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:26,959
Speaker 1: it's gonna take them too long. I need it done

1104
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:29,360
Speaker 1: like this. I need it done like this and right now.

1105
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:33,280
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, you don't make room for anybody

1106
01:03:33,320 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 1: to help you, But then you complain that people don't

1107
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:39,440
Speaker 1: help you. How can you make room for the people

1108
01:03:39,480 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 1: who love you to be of actual support to you?

1109
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:46,440
Speaker 1: How can you articulate what it is that you want,

1110
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:49,480
Speaker 1: what it is you need, the steps that you need

1111
01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:51,720
Speaker 1: done and when you need it? Dumb by? Because the

1112
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:54,880
Speaker 1: thing is most people in your life are willing to help,

1113
01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:58,920
Speaker 1: but you haven't said anything. That has been a lesson

1114
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:02,560
Speaker 1: that I have been contending with all years. So far

1115
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 1: this year we are only enjoy we half way And

1116
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,400
Speaker 1: it is a constant thing that comes up even for

1117
01:04:08,520 --> 01:04:12,400
Speaker 1: me because I don't want to be a father or

1118
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. Oh, I know that they got

1119
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:18,320
Speaker 1: their own thing going on. So instead you take away

1120
01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:22,600
Speaker 1: their choice to decide what they are able to do

1121
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:27,400
Speaker 1: for you because you have decided they can't m and

1122
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:30,120
Speaker 1: you know that really kind of feels like a throwback

1123
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 1: to our earlier conversation about the self fulfilling prophecy and

1124
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:38,560
Speaker 1: her testing Issa, like, is she going to fight for me? Right? So,

1125
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:41,480
Speaker 1: if she has made it up in her mind that

1126
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:44,160
Speaker 1: they can't be there for me in the ways that

1127
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:47,360
Speaker 1: I need or I don't trust that they will be

1128
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:50,080
Speaker 1: there for me in the same ways that I am

1129
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:53,920
Speaker 1: because of some other thing, right, nothing, nothing related to evidence,

1130
01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:56,320
Speaker 1: Because if we write it out and look at Okay,

1131
01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:59,200
Speaker 1: have people actually been there for you, likely you will

1132
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,000
Speaker 1: be able to see the that they have. But in

1133
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:06,280
Speaker 1: your mind you are informations. You are cognificent to she

1134
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 1: just saying, Okay, she's not she's not even gonna fight

1135
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:11,760
Speaker 1: for me. My dad is not even gonna fight for me.

1136
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:14,600
Speaker 1: These people are not row not even gonna fight for me.

1137
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:18,000
Speaker 1: Nobody fights for me, nobody really wants me there, that

1138
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:23,160
Speaker 1: thing becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. So we haven't necessarily

1139
01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:26,960
Speaker 1: seen enough about her childhood and her relationship with her

1140
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 1: parents to know for sure. But that is how she's behaving.

1141
01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:34,240
Speaker 1: She has some message, like you said, about who she

1142
01:05:34,440 --> 01:05:37,920
Speaker 1: is in relationship to other people, where she's always looking

1143
01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:41,360
Speaker 1: for people to affirm her and trying to test out

1144
01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:45,000
Speaker 1: whether people are really gonna fight for her. And yes,

1145
01:05:45,040 --> 01:05:47,960
Speaker 1: of course, pure speculation because I have no idea, we

1146
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:51,360
Speaker 1: don't know, we don't know. I always saying you know

1147
01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:54,880
Speaker 1: only God about about me, saying but just that piece

1148
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 1: of it. I'm just like, yes, that part, absolutely, that part.

1149
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:01,760
Speaker 1: And I know for a lot of my friends, I

1150
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:04,000
Speaker 1: have been the strong friend, the together friend to know

1151
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 1: what I'm doing friends, the one that is most planned.

1152
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:10,360
Speaker 1: I am all into goal planning that the thing looks ridiculous,

1153
01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:14,920
Speaker 1: but at the same time, I know that there is

1154
01:06:16,200 --> 01:06:19,040
Speaker 1: there's growth for me in vulnerability and being able to

1155
01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:22,840
Speaker 1: ask people for help or to ask for the thing

1156
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:27,120
Speaker 1: that I want or need. Like one of my friends,

1157
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:30,520
Speaker 1: I was I'm now, this is silly. I want to

1158
01:06:30,680 --> 01:06:32,960
Speaker 1: I want to preface it by saying I know it's silly,

1159
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:37,160
Speaker 1: but I was like, hey, I follow you on social media,

1160
01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:41,160
Speaker 1: follow me on social media, and I was feeling a

1161
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,200
Speaker 1: way about it, and then felt like I couldn't say

1162
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 1: anything about it. And I was like, and what does

1163
01:06:45,320 --> 01:06:48,479
Speaker 1: that mean about our friendship? If I can't even say something,

1164
01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:50,440
Speaker 1: even if it is silly. If I can't bring it

1165
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:52,600
Speaker 1: up silly and I can't bring it up, then what

1166
01:06:52,760 --> 01:06:54,960
Speaker 1: what does that say? Am I not willing to be

1167
01:06:55,120 --> 01:06:59,320
Speaker 1: in a space of vulnerability to just ask? So I asked,

1168
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:02,680
Speaker 1: and you know what happened. They followed at me that

1169
01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:09,120
Speaker 1: and on top of that, they said thank you. They

1170
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:12,520
Speaker 1: said to me, thank you for stay. They said, never

1171
01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:16,120
Speaker 1: apologize to me for saying for telling me what you

1172
01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:19,720
Speaker 1: need in any moment, I am happy that you told me.

1173
01:07:20,560 --> 01:07:24,080
Speaker 1: And I was just like, well, look at that. And

1174
01:07:24,360 --> 01:07:27,200
Speaker 1: I've noticed that I've been getting that a lot lately. Right.

1175
01:07:27,280 --> 01:07:29,840
Speaker 1: So one of my friends, I said that I would

1176
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:32,800
Speaker 1: do goal planning with him and his wife, and I

1177
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:34,440
Speaker 1: was I was more than willing to do it, but

1178
01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:36,720
Speaker 1: then a bunch of stuff hit the thing all that once,

1179
01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:40,240
Speaker 1: and my schedule looked like boo boo, and I just

1180
01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:43,520
Speaker 1: wasn't feeling it, and I was like, I'm so sorry,

1181
01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:45,840
Speaker 1: but I just can't. Like all this stuff came up

1182
01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:50,080
Speaker 1: and I'm really tired, and he said, don't apologize, thank

1183
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:53,560
Speaker 1: you for telling me that you are tired. Let's reschedule

1184
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:55,560
Speaker 1: for a time that works best for both of us.

1185
01:07:56,760 --> 01:07:58,800
Speaker 1: These I was just like, I got some dope friends.

1186
01:08:00,040 --> 01:08:05,280
Speaker 1: You can say this type of stuff, even joy, I

1187
01:08:05,480 --> 01:08:08,440
Speaker 1: ask you for things and you just be like, oh, yeah, okay,

1188
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:13,360
Speaker 1: of course. Meanwhile, you don't know that I does spend

1189
01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:17,479
Speaker 1: two days contemplating the thing, walking back and forth, telling

1190
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:20,240
Speaker 1: my partner like at all, now, that's not nice, like

1191
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:26,040
Speaker 1: that type of thing. Meanwhile, you just be like, yeah, okay,

1192
01:08:26,160 --> 01:08:29,080
Speaker 1: here you go, here you go. And and this is

1193
01:08:29,479 --> 01:08:32,680
Speaker 1: also part of trusting the people in your life to

1194
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:35,680
Speaker 1: give you an honest answer about what they're able to

1195
01:08:35,840 --> 01:08:39,439
Speaker 1: do in any given moment, and being okay with the

1196
01:08:39,479 --> 01:08:42,080
Speaker 1: fact that, yeah, they might say no. And I asked

1197
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:46,080
Speaker 1: the friends to share article I wrote, and she was

1198
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:49,400
Speaker 1: just like, sorry, sweeting, no, I can't read this, which

1199
01:08:49,439 --> 01:08:51,560
Speaker 1: means I can't share it, I can't comment on it,

1200
01:08:51,640 --> 01:08:53,920
Speaker 1: I can't do any of that stuff because I'm not

1201
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:56,160
Speaker 1: in a space and I'm in a mental space to

1202
01:08:56,240 --> 01:09:00,320
Speaker 1: read this thing right now. And I said, thank you, yeah,

1203
01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:03,320
Speaker 1: thank you for telling me that. I'm like, I'm not

1204
01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:07,000
Speaker 1: gonna be look like I'm writing about how police brutality

1205
01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:10,559
Speaker 1: is related to colorism. Yeah, I know this stuff is heavy.

1206
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:13,960
Speaker 1: We've been living and heavy. So to hear back like, hey,

1207
01:09:14,040 --> 01:09:16,240
Speaker 1: this is too heavy for me right now, it's just

1208
01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:19,120
Speaker 1: like I appreciate you. Thank you for telling me that

1209
01:09:19,320 --> 01:09:21,519
Speaker 1: this is not something that you can talk about or

1210
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:26,040
Speaker 1: share right now. I appreciate that. So, if you're a

1211
01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:30,080
Speaker 1: strong friend, stop it. Mm hmmm, yeah, because I think

1212
01:09:30,120 --> 01:09:33,479
Speaker 1: the other thing, you know, I think sometimes when people

1213
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:37,439
Speaker 1: really get invested in this identity as a strong friend,

1214
01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:40,679
Speaker 1: it's really hard to shake it, right, And I think

1215
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:44,559
Speaker 1: underneath that a lot of times is is a lot

1216
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:48,280
Speaker 1: of insecurity and a lot of what's going to happen

1217
01:09:48,479 --> 01:09:51,080
Speaker 1: if I'm not a strong friend? Does this group still

1218
01:09:51,160 --> 01:09:54,600
Speaker 1: need me? And so then you get really caught up

1219
01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:57,400
Speaker 1: in wanting to maintain that identity as a strong friend

1220
01:09:57,720 --> 01:09:59,760
Speaker 1: because you're worried that that that the group is gonna

1221
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:01,479
Speaker 1: fall la part or there will be no place for

1222
01:10:01,600 --> 01:10:05,320
Speaker 1: you if you're not that person. And I'm just wondering,

1223
01:10:05,640 --> 01:10:08,519
Speaker 1: how would you actually help your friends to be better

1224
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:12,800
Speaker 1: equipped to help themselves by stopping being a strong friend?

1225
01:10:13,040 --> 01:10:16,640
Speaker 1: M Yes, Because sometimes we know that that crosses over

1226
01:10:16,680 --> 01:10:20,240
Speaker 1: into enabling. Exactly. It makes me actually think of um,

1227
01:10:20,640 --> 01:10:27,040
Speaker 1: Mike Michelwitz, Um, what's that book called Clockwork? And how

1228
01:10:27,120 --> 01:10:30,080
Speaker 1: he talks about like like I don't know how many

1229
01:10:30,120 --> 01:10:33,760
Speaker 1: people have seen what's the name of that that? Oh

1230
01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:38,840
Speaker 1: megamnd So like the superhero, you know, he makes his death,

1231
01:10:38,880 --> 01:10:43,880
Speaker 1: he goes away. Sorry spoiler alert, Yes, and from like

1232
01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:47,880
Speaker 1: two thousands, seven eight nine. So I'm gonna like we

1233
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:51,960
Speaker 1: if you ain't seeing in my bag at this point,

1234
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:56,040
Speaker 1: you should have, um, but like just you know, he

1235
01:10:56,160 --> 01:10:58,200
Speaker 1: just he faked his death because he was he was

1236
01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:00,920
Speaker 1: tired of constantly say even be but because they make

1237
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:03,679
Speaker 1: no moves on their own, they see the thing about

1238
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:08,040
Speaker 1: to hit them and stand there and screen make no moves. Meanwhile,

1239
01:11:08,080 --> 01:11:10,360
Speaker 1: when he went away, the people started to actually do

1240
01:11:10,520 --> 01:11:17,120
Speaker 1: some work to see themselves. Then if you stop swooping

1241
01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:21,240
Speaker 1: in like Superman, how many people would actually do some

1242
01:11:21,439 --> 01:11:24,880
Speaker 1: work to do some savings of themselves and other people

1243
01:11:25,240 --> 01:11:29,360
Speaker 1: and you? Exactly, it would be able to create a

1244
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:33,320
Speaker 1: web of strength between all of you where you're all

1245
01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:38,040
Speaker 1: able to use your strengths to fortify each other because

1246
01:11:38,120 --> 01:11:40,559
Speaker 1: your strengths are gonna be in different places. No one

1247
01:11:40,640 --> 01:11:44,160
Speaker 1: needs that one strong friend that solves everybody's problems. That's

1248
01:11:44,280 --> 01:11:49,880
Speaker 1: draining for the strong friend and enabling for the other ones. Yes, yes,

1249
01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:53,639
Speaker 1: come on and wrap up with that. Good words. Thank

1250
01:11:53,680 --> 01:11:56,600
Speaker 1: you so much for that question. Very perfect taleing for

1251
01:11:56,720 --> 01:12:03,200
Speaker 1: this episode. Okay, so quickly, our predictions for our season finale?

1252
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:07,080
Speaker 1: Next but I'm gonna cry, You're gonna cry? Okay, So

1253
01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:11,840
Speaker 1: what do we think happens between Molly and Andrew? They

1254
01:12:11,880 --> 01:12:14,479
Speaker 1: break up? You think they break up next week? I

1255
01:12:14,520 --> 01:12:17,439
Speaker 1: think they're gonna take a break. I think that it

1256
01:12:17,520 --> 01:12:20,120
Speaker 1: might be a real tough conversation where it's just like

1257
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:25,479
Speaker 1: Andrew is just gonna be like, I don't think you're here. Okay, Okay,

1258
01:12:25,560 --> 01:12:27,840
Speaker 1: so we think there's a tough conversation on the heels

1259
01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:30,240
Speaker 1: for them. I think I don't know that that's gonna

1260
01:12:30,280 --> 01:12:32,599
Speaker 1: happen next week. I definitely feel like we will see

1261
01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:34,799
Speaker 1: some of that, but I don't know if it happens

1262
01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:38,120
Speaker 1: next week. Okay. So for Issa and Molly, what do

1263
01:12:38,240 --> 01:12:41,360
Speaker 1: you think? I feel like we're not really gonna see

1264
01:12:41,400 --> 01:12:43,360
Speaker 1: anything between East and Molly. Like I feel like this

1265
01:12:43,520 --> 01:12:46,280
Speaker 1: week was the closure button on Desa and Molly, at

1266
01:12:46,320 --> 01:12:49,280
Speaker 1: least for this season. Yep. I think that we're gonna

1267
01:12:49,439 --> 01:12:51,560
Speaker 1: the only place we're gonna see East and Molly is

1268
01:12:51,640 --> 01:12:56,120
Speaker 1: together in therapy. But Molly's talking about it. M mmmmm, okay,

1269
01:12:56,200 --> 01:12:59,479
Speaker 1: so maybe a therapy see next week. All right? What

1270
01:12:59,560 --> 01:13:05,000
Speaker 1: about saying Lawrence, I think that Lawrence is getting a

1271
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,479
Speaker 1: job in San Francisco. Yeah, I agree with that. I

1272
01:13:07,560 --> 01:13:09,360
Speaker 1: agree with that, And y'all heard me say I'm still

1273
01:13:09,560 --> 01:13:12,559
Speaker 1: kind of holding out one I opened for what's gonna

1274
01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:14,599
Speaker 1: have away Condola because I do not feel like we've

1275
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:20,400
Speaker 1: really seen the last of her. She might be pregnant

1276
01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:23,439
Speaker 1: or she's gonna do something. It feels I don't feel

1277
01:13:23,479 --> 01:13:26,040
Speaker 1: like we have really closed the door on that situation

1278
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:29,879
Speaker 1: with Condola, and she might be moving to San Francis

1279
01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:33,600
Speaker 1: and rights around me. So there was a moment and

1280
01:13:33,680 --> 01:13:35,720
Speaker 1: I feel like this is just me watching too much

1281
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:38,479
Speaker 1: foolish TV. There was a moment when he was on

1282
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:40,880
Speaker 1: the phone with Issa from San Francisco. I'm like, it's

1283
01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:47,080
Speaker 1: Condola there with you. There's no evidence for that besides

1284
01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:51,240
Speaker 1: me watching too much Lifetime TV. I mean, now you

1285
01:13:51,360 --> 01:13:56,920
Speaker 1: gonna put it out. I'm like, bring it back. I

1286
01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,920
Speaker 1: don't know, it's just not there with him. I don't

1287
01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:02,360
Speaker 1: really think she is, but it just feels like there

1288
01:14:02,640 --> 01:14:05,439
Speaker 1: is not a real closed door there. So I feel

1289
01:14:05,439 --> 01:14:07,280
Speaker 1: like we still are going to see her pop up.

1290
01:14:07,800 --> 01:14:11,160
Speaker 1: And then I'm worried about because he chooses to turn

1291
01:14:11,320 --> 01:14:14,200
Speaker 1: down the job to be with Issa, and how that

1292
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:19,160
Speaker 1: might create tension and just resentment that he did not

1293
01:14:19,479 --> 01:14:22,920
Speaker 1: take an opportunity that he really wanted. Interesting, you're right,

1294
01:14:23,240 --> 01:14:27,480
Speaker 1: You're right. How far is La and San Francisco? Apparently

1295
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:33,120
Speaker 1: it is a one hour flight, but considering Rona well, clearly,

1296
01:14:33,320 --> 01:14:36,840
Speaker 1: but they're not living in a Ronal world world at all.

1297
01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:40,080
Speaker 1: If it's a one hour flight, it's probably what like

1298
01:14:40,240 --> 01:14:44,679
Speaker 1: between six and eight hours drive time. I'm guessing Jesus,

1299
01:14:45,320 --> 01:14:48,479
Speaker 1: I don't know, that's the whole day, That's what I'm

1300
01:14:48,520 --> 01:14:51,040
Speaker 1: just thinking. Like, it's one hour for me to fly

1301
01:14:51,240 --> 01:14:54,800
Speaker 1: from Atlanta to New Orleans and so, but the drive

1302
01:14:54,880 --> 01:14:57,360
Speaker 1: would be like seven or eight hours, So I'm thinking

1303
01:14:57,439 --> 01:15:00,120
Speaker 1: maybe the same kind of thing. But if it's that

1304
01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:02,439
Speaker 1: close of a flight, then it does feel like there

1305
01:15:02,439 --> 01:15:04,680
Speaker 1: would be maybe some opportunity for them to work it

1306
01:15:04,720 --> 01:15:08,040
Speaker 1: out long distance if he does, if they decide to

1307
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:11,719
Speaker 1: stay together, and if he moves to San Francisco. Yeah, yeah,

1308
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:14,320
Speaker 1: because the way they're talking right, like the fact that

1309
01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:17,400
Speaker 1: they have not clearly decided like what this is. I

1310
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:21,519
Speaker 1: don't hear either of them feeling hesitant about like, Okay,

1311
01:15:21,560 --> 01:15:23,720
Speaker 1: what happens if you move to San Francisco and we're

1312
01:15:23,760 --> 01:15:26,200
Speaker 1: trying to work this thing out. I think they if

1313
01:15:26,280 --> 01:15:28,439
Speaker 1: he moves to San Francisco, I don't think they're gonna

1314
01:15:28,479 --> 01:15:31,240
Speaker 1: try a long distance you don't think so, okay, But

1315
01:15:31,320 --> 01:15:33,600
Speaker 1: I agree. I do agree that he is moving to

1316
01:15:33,680 --> 01:15:35,880
Speaker 1: San Francisco. I think that's what's gonna happen with him.

1317
01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:38,000
Speaker 1: So I don't quite know what's gonna happen with he

1318
01:15:38,080 --> 01:15:40,120
Speaker 1: said Lawrence, But I do feel like Lawrence is going

1319
01:15:40,200 --> 01:15:45,960
Speaker 1: to San Francisco, like, congratulations on your job. And then finally,

1320
01:15:46,080 --> 01:15:50,639
Speaker 1: what about Nathan and Issa? Oh. I think that Nathan

1321
01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:53,160
Speaker 1: stiff has feelings for Esa. Well, we saw that. So

1322
01:15:53,320 --> 01:15:55,599
Speaker 1: in the preview of next week, we see him say,

1323
01:15:55,800 --> 01:15:58,040
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to regret not telling you

1324
01:15:58,240 --> 01:16:01,320
Speaker 1: exactly how I feel. I think that that's gonna happened,

1325
01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:07,240
Speaker 1: probably maybe before Lawrence says I got the job, um,

1326
01:16:07,360 --> 01:16:11,280
Speaker 1: and that will create a conundrum for this Issa, Um,

1327
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:16,920
Speaker 1: I don't know. I do like them together. Being honest,

1328
01:16:17,000 --> 01:16:20,200
Speaker 1: I do, so I don't, I don't know. I I

1329
01:16:20,320 --> 01:16:23,520
Speaker 1: think I can appreciate the level of honesty and vulnerability

1330
01:16:23,640 --> 01:16:24,960
Speaker 1: that it takes for you to say that you like

1331
01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:28,320
Speaker 1: somebody even though they don't mean with somebody else. Well,

1332
01:16:28,439 --> 01:16:30,320
Speaker 1: it kind of feels like the same thing she did

1333
01:16:30,479 --> 01:16:33,519
Speaker 1: with with Lawrence, right, Like he was going over to

1334
01:16:33,640 --> 01:16:35,479
Speaker 1: Candola and she was like, what if I don't want

1335
01:16:35,520 --> 01:16:37,600
Speaker 1: to go home? So it really feels like there are

1336
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:41,559
Speaker 1: a lot of parallel processes between these characters these this season.

1337
01:16:41,840 --> 01:16:56,439
Speaker 1: That's because they're so communicative, transparent talking except money. So

1338
01:16:56,520 --> 01:16:59,400
Speaker 1: I don't quite know, Like I don't necessarily love Nathan

1339
01:16:59,439 --> 01:17:02,240
Speaker 1: and Issus together, but I'm not opposed to them together.

1340
01:17:03,080 --> 01:17:06,240
Speaker 1: Mostly want them to be friends because I feel like

1341
01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:08,240
Speaker 1: they do do a lot for each other. I mean,

1342
01:17:08,880 --> 01:17:13,000
Speaker 1: really inspired her to move forward with her own vision

1343
01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:16,840
Speaker 1: and to be strong in that vision. Yes, yes, yeah,

1344
01:17:16,880 --> 01:17:19,080
Speaker 1: I mean I feel like he has to have a

1345
01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:21,400
Speaker 1: lot of the credit for like the growth we've seen

1346
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:25,439
Speaker 1: in her this season. Yeah, yeah, yeah, So we'll we'll

1347
01:17:25,520 --> 01:17:27,760
Speaker 1: kind of keep our eyes open there. So at the

1348
01:17:27,960 --> 01:17:30,120
Speaker 1: end of the sneak peek, we see her saying hey

1349
01:17:30,360 --> 01:17:38,160
Speaker 1: to somebody, who do you think that is? No? What's up? No,

1350
01:17:38,439 --> 01:17:43,040
Speaker 1: it was clearly like a like a heavy hay. Yeah,

1351
01:17:43,479 --> 01:17:46,320
Speaker 1: well maybe maybe they're gonna break back dude from season

1352
01:17:46,720 --> 01:17:53,479
Speaker 1: two Daniel. Oh No, that would be too shady. I

1353
01:17:53,560 --> 01:17:57,599
Speaker 1: feel like that would way two out of left field,

1354
01:17:58,520 --> 01:18:00,840
Speaker 1: and so I would like have has to rewind that

1355
01:18:00,960 --> 01:18:03,720
Speaker 1: clip to see, like, do I recognize the background of

1356
01:18:03,840 --> 01:18:06,439
Speaker 1: like where they are? But I can't tell if it's

1357
01:18:06,439 --> 01:18:13,439
Speaker 1: like trying to go private trying to see I don't know.

1358
01:18:13,560 --> 01:18:15,200
Speaker 1: I don't even know if I have a guess about

1359
01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:17,200
Speaker 1: who it is. I don't think it's Molly. I think

1360
01:18:17,240 --> 01:18:19,120
Speaker 1: that they would like us to think that it's Molly,

1361
01:18:19,200 --> 01:18:24,400
Speaker 1: but I don't actually think it's Molly. Maybe it's Kelly Helly.

1362
01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:28,040
Speaker 1: What would it be an awkward thing with them? You

1363
01:18:28,439 --> 01:18:33,599
Speaker 1: said earlier tonight that you thought it was gondola hops

1364
01:18:33,680 --> 01:18:40,760
Speaker 1: that listen. I don't need no drama. You know they're

1365
01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:43,559
Speaker 1: gonna give us something because this is the season for Atalie,

1366
01:18:43,680 --> 01:18:47,280
Speaker 1: so it's gonna be something hanging for whole hopefully just

1367
01:18:47,439 --> 01:18:50,200
Speaker 1: a year this time. Well, I don't know, I mean

1368
01:18:50,280 --> 01:18:52,800
Speaker 1: giving everything with roma. We don't know how safe it

1369
01:18:52,840 --> 01:18:54,920
Speaker 1: will be for them to record at it mean, well

1370
01:18:54,960 --> 01:19:00,200
Speaker 1: they can record, oh goodness, and then if it's like

1371
01:19:00,240 --> 01:19:03,400
Speaker 1: all the beautiful shots in cinematography that we love so much,

1372
01:19:03,479 --> 01:19:06,479
Speaker 1: we would be robbed of So we might have to wait,

1373
01:19:09,320 --> 01:19:12,680
Speaker 1: I'll think so, I don't think so, yeah, probably probably not.

1374
01:19:13,760 --> 01:19:15,840
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't, you know, I really don't know.

1375
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:20,519
Speaker 1: But I'm nervous about the whole thing. I mean, I

1376
01:19:20,640 --> 01:19:26,599
Speaker 1: might be live tweeting while I watch it. Hold on, well,

1377
01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:28,840
Speaker 1: we might be live tweeting, but we definitely will be

1378
01:19:28,960 --> 01:19:31,960
Speaker 1: back to do I recap of the season finale. So

1379
01:19:32,120 --> 01:19:34,479
Speaker 1: if there are questions that you have for Donna and

1380
01:19:34,600 --> 01:19:37,599
Speaker 1: I UM that you want like very sent in, definitely

1381
01:19:37,760 --> 01:19:40,040
Speaker 1: send them to us. You can email them to us

1382
01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:42,960
Speaker 1: at podcasts at Therapy for Black Girls dot com, or

1383
01:19:43,040 --> 01:19:45,400
Speaker 1: you can slide them into our d M s UM

1384
01:19:45,439 --> 01:19:47,320
Speaker 1: and we will try to answer any of them. You know,

1385
01:19:47,439 --> 01:19:49,479
Speaker 1: probably lots of them will be just answered in our

1386
01:19:49,520 --> 01:19:52,160
Speaker 1: general conversations. But if there's something that you want to

1387
01:19:52,240 --> 01:19:55,200
Speaker 1: make sure that we touch on in our finale recap

1388
01:19:55,320 --> 01:19:57,560
Speaker 1: next week, then definitely send those to us. If you

1389
01:19:57,680 --> 01:20:00,200
Speaker 1: slide into my dams, you better put t f G

1390
01:20:00,400 --> 01:20:02,920
Speaker 1: on it so I know exactly what you're talking about,

1391
01:20:02,920 --> 01:20:05,439
Speaker 1: because people people slide in my d ms with all

1392
01:20:05,520 --> 01:20:08,760
Speaker 1: kinds of questions clearly clearly labeled to let us know

1393
01:20:08,960 --> 01:20:11,200
Speaker 1: that it's something that you want to have on the podcast.

1394
01:20:13,160 --> 01:20:15,400
Speaker 1: We're just gonna hope for the best, it's gonna be awesome.

1395
01:20:15,920 --> 01:20:17,720
Speaker 1: For the best. We're gonna hope that we are not

1396
01:20:17,920 --> 01:20:20,839
Speaker 1: left in te years next week and that maybe everyone

1397
01:20:20,920 --> 01:20:23,600
Speaker 1: will kiss and makeup. I doubt that. I doubt that,

1398
01:20:23,920 --> 01:20:26,080
Speaker 1: but maybe it will not be as traumatic as we're

1399
01:20:26,320 --> 01:20:34,960
Speaker 1: maybe thinking it will be. Stay tuned. I'm so glad

1400
01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:37,679
Speaker 1: Dr oriole Will was able to join us again this week.

1401
01:20:38,240 --> 01:20:40,439
Speaker 1: Don't forget to check out the show notes that Therapy

1402
01:20:40,520 --> 01:20:44,320
Speaker 1: for Black Girls dot com slash session for links to

1403
01:20:44,400 --> 01:20:48,400
Speaker 1: our previous three conversations about Insecure, or to grab your

1404
01:20:48,479 --> 01:20:51,880
Speaker 1: copy of her book Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease. And

1405
01:20:52,000 --> 01:20:55,280
Speaker 1: please share your takeaways in season finale predictions with us

1406
01:20:55,320 --> 01:21:00,280
Speaker 1: on social media using the hashtag TBG in session. Don't

1407
01:21:00,320 --> 01:21:02,920
Speaker 1: forget to share this episode with the other Insecure fans

1408
01:21:02,960 --> 01:21:06,040
Speaker 1: in your life. If you're looking for a therapist in

1409
01:21:06,120 --> 01:21:09,360
Speaker 1: your area, be sure to check out our therapist directory

1410
01:21:09,840 --> 01:21:13,600
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And

1411
01:21:13,680 --> 01:21:16,560
Speaker 1: if you want to continue digging into this episode and

1412
01:21:16,680 --> 01:21:19,400
Speaker 1: meet some other sisters in your area, come on over

1413
01:21:19,479 --> 01:21:21,920
Speaker 1: and join us in the Yellow Couch Collective where we

1414
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:24,640
Speaker 1: take a deeper dive into the topics from the podcast

1415
01:21:25,120 --> 01:21:28,000
Speaker 1: and just about everything else. You can join us at

1416
01:21:28,080 --> 01:21:30,840
Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash y c C.

1417
01:21:31,479 --> 01:21:33,519
Speaker 1: Don't forget to show some love to our sponsor this

1418
01:21:33,680 --> 01:21:36,840
Speaker 1: week by checking out Freedom at the mat on YouTube.

1419
01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:40,479
Speaker 1: Are going to story Worth dot com slash tv G

1420
01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:44,040
Speaker 1: to grab ten dollars off your purchase. Thank y'all so

1421
01:21:44,240 --> 01:21:46,960
Speaker 1: much for joining me again this week. I look forward

1422
01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:49,800
Speaker 1: to continue in this conversation with you all real soon.

1423
01:21:50,520 --> 01:22:06,439
Speaker 1: Take good care, h The best, best wood Best the

1424
01:22:06,600 --> 01:22:07,160
Speaker 1: best wood