Speaker 1: There was a problem where taking money.
Speaker 2: All right, here we go. We are doing a virtual
Speaker 2: two Cool Mom Stevie buckle up goes. Here we go.
Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for another episode of Two
Speaker 3: Cool Moms. I am your host, Joe Gatto, along with
Speaker 3: Via Zoom, my friend, Oh, Steve.
Speaker 2: Burn, Steve Burn, that's you, yes, st that's me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much for joining my own name.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everybody, I love that. I appreciate you guys. Stevie.
Speaker 3: I appreciate you taking some time to make this happen.
Speaker 3: I know we couldn't get together in the same room.
Speaker 3: We don't like to do this because we hate the
Speaker 3: distance between us.
Speaker 1: That's right, yearning for each other. But I am in
Speaker 1: Pittsburgh right now at the Mario Lemu Fantasy Camp and
Speaker 1: it's a wonderful The Mario Lemu Foundation, obviously they raise
Speaker 1: money for cancer. They do these things called Austin's Playroom,
Speaker 1: which are you know, rooms for children that are dealing
Speaker 1: with cancer. So they I think they have seven or
Speaker 1: eight different locations. A lot of them are primarily in Pittsburgh.
Speaker 1: But it was a lot of a lot of money
Speaker 1: funded towards cancer research. Et cetera, et cetera. So there
Speaker 1: they have a fantasy camp where normal guys it's like
Speaker 1: pros versus Joe's no more guys like me get to
Speaker 1: come and you get to skate with famous alumni Hall
Speaker 1: of famers, and it's it's one of the greatest, coolest
Speaker 1: experiences I've ever had in my life. And the very
Speaker 1: first one I did, Mario Lemieu was still skating and
Speaker 1: I got to skate a shift with Lemieux, and I
Speaker 1: skated a shift against Lemieux, and I came back and
Speaker 1: I said, this is the greatest day of my life.
Speaker 1: And like me, better than our wedding. I'm like, and
Speaker 1: I looked at it and the I go, yeah, absolutely
Speaker 1: better than our wedding.
Speaker 3: The only thing that con made our wedding better was
Speaker 3: if Mario Lemieux walked you down the island.
Speaker 1: That's right, if she walked me down to Mary Mario. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I mean the guy is just hockey royalty.
Speaker 3: And I mean I even know him, which means he's
Speaker 3: somebody I know. Most people well, no, yes, Lemieux, most
Speaker 3: people do not know is French French Canadian?
Speaker 2: Yes, So there you go. Does that look'd bit for
Speaker 2: you for all our French listeners.
Speaker 1: Grazi.
Speaker 3: Uh so, I wanted to say, so do you on
Speaker 3: the when you're on the ice and you're skating.
Speaker 2: After you get off the ice, how long do you hurt?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: How sorry?
Speaker 1: Are you okay? So we're so we're we get to
Speaker 1: play in the arena, which you've played the PPG arena.
Speaker 3: Well, let's be clear, I've I've played as a comedy
Speaker 3: show on the stage there.
Speaker 2: I haven't say hockey.
Speaker 1: You were That's right, You're not a New York Island
Speaker 1: or a ranger or saber New York State. But but
Speaker 1: the whole thing takes place in there. So we skate
Speaker 1: where the penguins play, and they have this Casamigo's lounge
Speaker 1: and that's where we eat our meals. So so we
Speaker 1: we've been ah skating, We're gonna go eat lunch. And
Speaker 1: I pull up to the bar and they have all
Speaker 1: these mango smoothies, like fresh whipped, nice smoothie. And I
Speaker 1: go to put my foot on the little step up
Speaker 1: that's maybe four inches up at the bar and as
Speaker 1: I put my foot, I'm.
Speaker 4: On ah and two of the camera has heard me
Speaker 4: like burn, are you okay? I'm like, they look like, dude,
Speaker 4: it's like three inches, Like, what are you complaining about.
Speaker 4: But it's just a fun experience and it's the closest
Speaker 4: like I'll ever feel to like being a professional athlete.
Speaker 1: They have equipment managers, you're decked out in jerseys, you're
Speaker 1: playing the game like your face is up on the board.
Speaker 1: They do the things where you're like, go like this
Speaker 1: the camera, so you film all this stuff and you
Speaker 1: literally feel like a pro athlete, and your whole day
Speaker 1: is regimented around playing practicing games. And every team has
Speaker 1: two pros with them. So we have Max Talbot and
Speaker 1: Tyler Kennedy, former Penguins, and our team is coached by
Speaker 1: Kevin Stevens, a Hall of Famer, and Pierre LaRouche who
Speaker 1: is a former New York Ranger legend and he played
Speaker 1: for the Penns four while too. But it's just amazing
Speaker 1: and the camaraderie get from hanging out with all these
Speaker 1: so fun, you know, grown men from all over in
Speaker 1: Canada and stuff. It's it's it's cool.
Speaker 2: I had I had a similar experience.
Speaker 3: When you're talking about the face being like on the
Speaker 3: jumbo tron in front of the huge arena. I took
Speaker 3: my kids bowling yesterday and then the bowling alley had
Speaker 3: a new feature. He could take a picture and it
Speaker 3: would like animate you on a thing when it was
Speaker 3: your turn.
Speaker 1: Oh that's awesome.
Speaker 2: So I had me of my kids faces up on
Speaker 2: the bowler rama.
Speaker 1: There you go. I'm just curious, what did you bowl?
Speaker 2: I got to the elbow was in a rough shape
Speaker 2: last night. I only hit like one forty. That was
Speaker 2: rough last night.
Speaker 1: That's a bad day for you.
Speaker 2: It's a bad day. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we we had fun. The kids were The
Speaker 3: kids were great. My daughter got very frustrated and my
Speaker 3: son was using the ramp and he was doing like
Speaker 3: the one two three every time.
Speaker 1: I was just.
Speaker 2: Roll it down. Yeah. We didn't do the bumpers, but
Speaker 2: we did the ramp.
Speaker 1: But it was it was fun the fifteen seconds to
Speaker 1: see like you're just waiting for it to like slow.
Speaker 3: At the last minute, it seems like there's an earthquake
Speaker 3: and it just a whole blake shifts and it just
Speaker 3: goes right to the gutta like it's dead on then
Speaker 3: boom right to the gut of the port.
Speaker 1: The most it's the most gratifying strike because it'll topple
Speaker 1: one by one and then it's just the one swirling like.
Speaker 2: There's no speed. There's no speed to the ball. You
Speaker 2: might as well like roll a tennis ball at it.
Speaker 2: But yeah, we had fun. So how long it's a fire?
Speaker 2: How many days is this thing?
Speaker 1: Five days? So today is like the playoff round and
Speaker 1: then tomorrow's the championship round. We're going to see how
Speaker 1: we do. We're two and oh so far. We have
Speaker 1: a ringer on our team, this guy Yuri, who is
Speaker 1: just like skating through everybody. But then you have guys
Speaker 1: like Pierre Turjehon, who's you know again, another like legend
Speaker 1: in the game, and former Buffalo Saber And I mean,
Speaker 1: the guy's got to be in his late fifties and
Speaker 1: he's just serpentining through everybody and they still have these skills.
Speaker 1: Bernie Nichols is on our team. Former La King legend,
Speaker 1: another Hall of Famer, and he's on our team.
Speaker 2: Cousin to Frankie Quarters. Yeah, we don't know that he
Speaker 2: was a he was on the Blackhawks. I believe.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you knew the Blackhawks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that was my team in a NHL when
Speaker 2: I used to play on PlayStation. That's the only reason.
Speaker 1: I dude, I gotta tell you so one story. Okay,
Speaker 1: So we all go out to lunch or dinner last night. Again,
Speaker 1: everything is first class, right, they do a fancy steakhouse.
Speaker 1: Mike Young, another great comedian out of the Comedy Store,
Speaker 1: is with me. So Mike and I sit in a
Speaker 1: booth and there's this great guy named Uh. It's like
Speaker 1: Andrew Ko. He's the only other Asian here. And so
Speaker 1: he go, no, we're not on the same team, but
Speaker 1: I was like another Asian and then Uh. And then
Speaker 1: he and his mom sat down with us. So he
Speaker 1: brought his mom to camp, and she h, I got
Speaker 1: to learn the story he came over from. They came
Speaker 1: over from Shanghai and he was like nine, and they
Speaker 1: moved to Saskatchewan, I think, and they they turned on
Speaker 1: the TV. They had no idea what hockey was coming
Speaker 1: from Shanghai, and she said, who do you like. He said,
Speaker 1: I'll take the white team. She's I'll take the green team.
Speaker 1: And that's how they got into hockey. So they would
Speaker 1: just look and watch it. And then years later his
Speaker 1: favorite player was marl Lemeux. He ends up playing at
Speaker 1: the camp and playing with Lemieux. Anyways, we're sitting at
Speaker 1: the table. There's a guy doing magic and then he
Speaker 1: he's like and it was great, and he's like, you know,
Speaker 1: I do some mentalist stuff too, and Mike Young's like, oh,
Speaker 1: can you do one? And the guy goes, what would
Speaker 1: you say if I had a credit card with your
Speaker 1: name on it? And Mike's like, oh my god, that'd
Speaker 1: be amazing, and so he goes, what's your name? He
Speaker 1: goes Mike Young. He goes, Mike Young, I'm going to
Speaker 1: give you a credit card with your name on it.
Speaker 1: So he gives the credit card to Mike Young. It
Speaker 1: says your name. Okay, Mike doesn't have his readers, so
Speaker 1: he's gone, how the fuck did you do that? How
Speaker 1: did you Mike? Mike, it says your name. He's like,
Speaker 1: I know, it says your name. He goes, so if
Speaker 1: it says Steve Byrne, Like, how would you do that?
Speaker 2: How would I go?
Speaker 1: It says your name? He goes, I know, it says mine.
Speaker 1: It was like literally, who's on first, right?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And he didn't admit he couldn't read it, and he's like,
Speaker 1: so if it was like her name I'm like, Mike,
Speaker 1: it literally says your name. He goes, I know Steve,
Speaker 1: and so I like.
Speaker 2: I go it says, why oh you are name?
Speaker 1: He goes, oh shit. And so I'm sitting there and
Speaker 1: it's me Keith Coo, missus ko and I go, I go, like,
Speaker 1: you're sitting with three ations like this.
Speaker 2: This white boy so stupid, he's dumb.
Speaker 1: He had dumb white boy.
Speaker 2: So missus coop.
Speaker 1: After that, we're going to the ring today and I go,
Speaker 1: missus Coo, how are you? I go look on, but
Speaker 1: she goes, oh, stupid white boy.
Speaker 2: Amazing. Oh have a T shirt that says your name
Speaker 2: on it. I should change his jersey to it.
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe he wouldn't get over it. It was unbelievable.
Speaker 2: That's so funny. Did he uh?
Speaker 3: Did you you play? You played hockey growing up? When
Speaker 3: was the first time you started playing, like on a
Speaker 3: team though?
Speaker 1: I was six years old, well five years old. I
Speaker 1: my father played. So we'd go to the rank and
Speaker 1: he just hold his jersey and he'd pull me around.
Speaker 1: And then six I started. That was my first season.
Speaker 1: And seven was the first time I felt like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can skate now, and I think I got the
Speaker 1: hang of this, and I played all through high school.
Speaker 1: I played on two different teams travel high school. And
Speaker 1: I was fortunate enough to grow up during Lemieux's peak era,
Speaker 1: so ninety one ninety two, I was a junior and senior,
Speaker 1: and they won the Cup back to back in those years,
Speaker 1: and it was so great to be in the city
Speaker 1: and again just to just know that, like he knows
Speaker 1: who I am, and you do this contract signing and
Speaker 1: you know, you sit down with him at the table
Speaker 1: and you sign a contract with each other and you
Speaker 1: talk for a second. It was like it's still surreal.
Speaker 1: It's still surreal, Like.
Speaker 3: Well, that's why you do that big charity event. We
Speaker 3: do that every year, right, you do the You Foundation,
Speaker 3: You do that.
Speaker 2: You're doing again this year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're doing it this year.
Speaker 5: Friday, July eighteenth, Mark you count his friend. Save the dates,
Speaker 5: Save the dates, Save the date. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, July eighteenth.
Speaker 5: We're doing the Comedy Jam. As you know, it's a
Speaker 5: to a comedy show where comedians come out. We do
Speaker 5: ten minutes of material and we sing any song we
Speaker 5: want with the live band. It becomes a comedy concert
Speaker 5: and this year, it's you.
Speaker 1: You have a few friends coming. You is joining Murray,
Speaker 1: is joining Frankie Kees, who's one of my favorites, Lace
Speaker 1: Larabee and josh Adam Meyers in the comedy jam band.
Speaker 2: So it's gonna be.
Speaker 1: To be a killer line.
Speaker 2: It's always so much fun. I'm really excited.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and I've been asked about it quite a
Speaker 1: bit since i've been here. People like you.
Speaker 3: Well, they're looking for they're looking for the scot all
Speaker 3: these people you raise a lot of money for that.
Speaker 1: That's right, that's right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the golden Goose to.
Speaker 3: Make sure nobody checks him too hard.
Speaker 2: Look, well, you got a good haircut. I got a
Speaker 2: good little haircut. You gotniced up for the little muse.
Speaker 2: Just in case you know.
Speaker 1: I hit a point Joe where I cannot I've always
Speaker 1: been able to lose weight. So two weeks before this,
Speaker 1: I know I can put on my so on a suit,
Speaker 1: I'll jump my rope and then and I'll eat right,
Speaker 1: and I'll trim it down. This is the first time
Speaker 1: in my life I eat right. I put on the
Speaker 1: saw suit. I'm hydrating, and I just hit a wall.
Speaker 1: For some reason, I cannot get below one ninety. It's
Speaker 1: never happened in my life. Really, it's the first. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've always I wanted to come in at like one eighty,
Speaker 1: and for some reason I just couldn't. I couldn't drop
Speaker 1: the way. I don't know what it was.
Speaker 3: That's what happens when you turn fifty five. All this giving,
Speaker 3: when you in your early sixties, all these things shut
Speaker 3: down on.
Speaker 1: Wow, we went up, we went up.
Speaker 2: Okay of kidding.
Speaker 3: So you hit the five zero and you can't drop
Speaker 3: under the one. Azh tough you're at okay, yeah, that's
Speaker 3: my goal weight. We're on different pages there.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, yeah, I'm not happy.
Speaker 2: I'm ten right now. I went away. I'm ten. I
Speaker 2: got that always makes me look more trim. I got
Speaker 2: a nice You look fantastic.
Speaker 1: You think it fantastic. The last few years though you lost,
Speaker 1: you lost quite a few LB's.
Speaker 2: Yeah I did drop some lbs. Maybe, Uh, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I I think the tanner I get, the fatter I
Speaker 3: can be, though, So I've been really hitting the doughnuts.
Speaker 2: Pretty odd now. It's like when you wear up black,
Speaker 2: everybody's like, oh, you look so good. Yeah. I turned
Speaker 2: down No, I put on an Excel black T shirt
Speaker 2: and that's that's my diet.
Speaker 1: We were just hanging out with fat people.
Speaker 2: Right, that's what I do. I mean, I was the
Speaker 2: fact that everybody hung out with. We used to have
Speaker 2: this thing, me and the.
Speaker 3: Boys, we had this joke of who's number who was
Speaker 3: number two, who was the second fastest, It didn't matter
Speaker 3: who first battest, and it was the number two spot
Speaker 3: would always fluctuate between.
Speaker 2: Us for a while. Sal held number one for the longest.
Speaker 3: Sal was the raining champion and me and Q would
Speaker 3: be fighting with another of the two spots.
Speaker 2: So like when we were on the road.
Speaker 3: I'd be like, hey, you want to ant Like I
Speaker 3: would feed him to fatten them.
Speaker 2: Up or whatever. It'd be really funny. The number one
Speaker 2: has always been skinny, right, he was always a skinny kid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, always skinny. But then he got like jet.
Speaker 3: No, he got well, he got chat a little bit,
Speaker 3: he got he chubbed up a little when he got
Speaker 3: when he got hitched, he got a little bit of
Speaker 3: a round face, he got a little bit, a little
Speaker 3: chunk of dunk. And then because he was like you
Speaker 3: could always drop weight. And then he started working at
Speaker 3: it and working out with him and his wife and
Speaker 3: they put the the gym in the house to really
Speaker 3: hit it home and he has to work at it now.
Speaker 1: It's always weird though, when you're like, I mean Murray
Speaker 1: and I love him, great guy, but he's like a seven, right,
Speaker 1: He's like a seven. So even if you work out
Speaker 1: and you're shredded, like if you're Chris Ham's Worth and
Speaker 1: you're like a nine and then you get jacked, you're
Speaker 1: like a ten, right, But if you're seven and you
Speaker 1: get like Murray got in great.
Speaker 2: Shape, yeah, he's still a seven, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 2: it's just so some people, you know, the Jack I
Speaker 2: wouldn't know.
Speaker 3: I was always I always had this joke that I
Speaker 3: was gonna do and I never got to do it
Speaker 3: because I didn't have the discipline. But I was like
Speaker 3: in the off season, in between seasons, I was gonna
Speaker 3: get in the.
Speaker 1: Off season, like, dude, you're not mahomes Well, we.
Speaker 2: Filmed that way. I used to film like nine months
Speaker 2: out of the year. I had no life.
Speaker 3: I was consumed by this thing, right ten months out
Speaker 3: of the year.
Speaker 2: So I was like, oh, you know what I'm gonna get.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get Jack I'm gonna get abs and everything.
Speaker 3: And I even talked to the production about it. I
Speaker 3: was like, listen, there's between seasons six and seven. I
Speaker 3: was like, listen, I'm gonna get jacked and I back
Speaker 3: and I'm like, take for the funny, they're gonna take
Speaker 3: my shirt off of the first challenge. Like I'm gonna
Speaker 3: try not to see them in the off season or
Speaker 3: as you would say, the downtime, try to avoid.
Speaker 2: Them as best I could.
Speaker 3: And I was like, three days in, I was like,
Speaker 3: it's not.
Speaker 2: Worth a joke. Yeah, donuts, It's like forget it.
Speaker 1: Well you could you could? You know, don't you think
Speaker 1: you could?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm doing this thing now. Then I'm trying to
Speaker 2: get a little bit more trim.
Speaker 3: I started picking up some of these vitamins and things
Speaker 3: like I've never done, like, uh, these probiotic y kind
Speaker 3: of things for gut health because I think I think
Speaker 3: that's part of my issue is at all my fats
Speaker 3: and my belly, and I'm trying to see what I
Speaker 3: could do there. So I've been doing some of that
Speaker 3: stuff and I have to say I feel better. I
Speaker 3: don't necessarily look any better yet, but I'm starting to
Speaker 3: feel better, and I think that.
Speaker 2: We talk about out well, I mean, you see me
Speaker 2: in the square. We're on zoom right now, buddy, anybody
Speaker 2: looks good.
Speaker 3: You don't have any glasses on, and I'm two by
Speaker 3: four in your window, right, anybody could crush this look.
Speaker 3: But yeah, no, I don't look bad. I just you know,
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm starting to feel better. When I
Speaker 3: feel better, I feel like my body loses.
Speaker 1: The weight a little morning, right right, Yeah, yeah, well
Speaker 1: I I got the chubby cheeks.
Speaker 3: Well it's okay, you got you know, you're but you're
Speaker 3: out there, You're you're hoofing it on the isis.
Speaker 1: They say, I'm hoofing. I'm playing two games a day.
Speaker 1: I'm sweating my I bought a I bought a travel scale.
Speaker 1: Really so I bring this travel scale, but he put.
Speaker 2: A luggage one by accident, so you just hang.
Speaker 1: Yourself out to give myself a wedgie, I'm like, can
Speaker 1: you send a made up I'm stuck. Yeah no, I
Speaker 1: I finally bought a travel scale. It was it fits
Speaker 1: in your travel you know, your your carry on, and uh,
Speaker 1: it's pretty accurate. It's pretty darn good, and it's not
Speaker 1: giving me the results. I want. So I'm a little
Speaker 1: angrily broken.
Speaker 2: But it's broken.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now I know it's broken. Yeah, it has to
Speaker 1: be right. I'm gonna chuck it off this floor. But uh,
Speaker 1: but should we get into this?
Speaker 2: Let's get into it, but something to have.
Speaker 1: Some questions here. This is coming from Debbie. Okay, Debbie says,
Speaker 1: I'm fifty six, my significant other is seventy. We've been
Speaker 1: together for fourteen years. We're not married by choice. I
Speaker 1: don't know what to call him. Boyfriends sounds strange at
Speaker 1: our age? Am I overthinking? What should I call my person? Thanks?
Speaker 2: Moms?
Speaker 3: Okay, boyfriend does that strage? But the way that you
Speaker 3: read that question is even more strange. Because you said
Speaker 3: we're not married by choice. It sounded like she.
Speaker 2: Was forced into a marriage to me.
Speaker 3: When you said that they're not married by her choosing,
Speaker 3: she means right, they decided they don't want to get married.
Speaker 3: I thought you meant that she had to marry him
Speaker 3: by like gunpoint.
Speaker 1: Like wife.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so what do you mean?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you see boyfriend a seventy year old boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've been she's fifty six, so he's fourteen years
Speaker 1: older than it, and we've been together for fourteen years
Speaker 1: and are not married by choice.
Speaker 2: Yep, yep.
Speaker 3: So they just wanted to be So that's that was
Speaker 3: my mom. So my mom would just date. She always
Speaker 3: said I had my husband, I had my family. I
Speaker 3: don't need another husband. So she want to be married.
Speaker 3: But she had boyfriends. She always called them her man.
Speaker 3: She said, you know, this is this is my man.
Speaker 3: When she would introduce people around, you know, she wouldn't
Speaker 3: want to say friend, she didn't want to say partner,
Speaker 3: she wants to say anything of that, and she would
Speaker 3: just say my man, you know, because that that just
Speaker 3: brings in you one that you're together, you know.
Speaker 2: So I would recommend that. I remember my mom. Everybody
Speaker 2: wanted to marry my mom though. All the guys were
Speaker 2: trying to lock it down, and she's like, let this
Speaker 2: birdy fly. I was locked in this cage for twenty something,
Speaker 2: twenty eight years or whatever. It's time for me to go.
Speaker 3: Baby, got you know, my mom was just flying around
Speaker 3: town being a hot mom.
Speaker 2: So she didn't you know, she was a silver fox
Speaker 2: at fifty. She became a fifty four I think she
Speaker 2: was when she became a widow. So she still had
Speaker 2: a lot of life left in her you know.
Speaker 3: So she was so she was dating all these guys
Speaker 3: and they were always trying to lock her up. Man,
Speaker 3: And I remember she was always like my mom was
Speaker 3: like a play at at fifty four years old. It
Speaker 3: was so weird because me and my mom were both
Speaker 3: in the dating scene. I'd be dating, she'd be dating.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: It was we'd connected about that stuff because I was
Speaker 3: in my late twenties, early thirties, you know, so it
Speaker 3: was it was really interesting to see to have that perspective.
Speaker 3: But I would definitely recommend you know, my man, this
Speaker 3: is my man, this is you know.
Speaker 1: But if they if they are married, right, I mean
Speaker 1: they aren't married.
Speaker 2: She said, they're not married by choice, meaning they don't
Speaker 2: want to get married. They both have been. They're older enough,
Speaker 2: they've already been husbands and wives to other people and
Speaker 2: are not married by choice. Okay, yeah, so my mom.
Speaker 3: My mom's stance on that was, you know, you get
Speaker 3: married to have a family, and she was like, I
Speaker 3: already had my family or I already had my husband.
Speaker 3: And she also didn't want to have to deal with
Speaker 3: She wanted to get buried with my father, so she
Speaker 3: didn't want to.
Speaker 2: They bought the double plot.
Speaker 3: She was already in. She already spent the shuttle, so
Speaker 3: she was like, I'm not gonna double dip on this thing.
Speaker 1: A little uncomfortable with the pearly gates.
Speaker 2: It's like, hey, hey, hey husband, this is my man.
Speaker 1: Well that that's It's still great though, that she because
Speaker 1: I always think that, boy, that what a what a
Speaker 1: weird conundrum that is, But but that she was still
Speaker 1: respected your father, you know, in that aftermath of never
Speaker 1: going there again.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, she would always call out his name during sex,
Speaker 2: which I thought was very nice about you don't matter
Speaker 2: what the guy's name was. She was yelling Joe very
Speaker 2: very boy mother.
Speaker 3: It was funny we let you just left because a
Speaker 3: bunch of old boyfriend would named Joe. Yeah, And I
Speaker 3: was like, that was just out of convenience. You didn't
Speaker 3: want to call somebody the wrong name, not.
Speaker 2: Even during that. Just because she was older. He liked
Speaker 2: to be like, hey, Joe, what time you picking me up?
Speaker 2: That would be okay to say she.
Speaker 1: Isn't it cool though, that she was saying your name
Speaker 1: during sex?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was my favorite thought.
Speaker 1: To be honest, you're playing Intendo at eleven thirty're like.
Speaker 2: Mom, Oh yeah, Mom, yeah Mo. Like the first one,
Speaker 2: you think she's just calling you, like yeah Mom, what
Speaker 2: do you need?
Speaker 1: Like doctor Xavier, I feel her calling me in the
Speaker 1: universe somewhere.
Speaker 2: The boys and I, because I used to live my
Speaker 2: mom's basement.
Speaker 3: We had one of our first scripts and we actually
Speaker 3: filmed this see for a pilot that never made anything.
Speaker 3: It was the end of it is I have the
Speaker 3: headphones on in my mom's basement and I'm playing video
Speaker 3: games as you hear just sex sounds coming through the vent.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no, Usually it's the other way around, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know you worry about that, Joe, turn that down.
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ were lying the VHS.
Speaker 3: If we have a broad dates home at the same time,
Speaker 3: the house would be a rock and don't come a knock.
Speaker 2: And stave you.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's good. I would say. Man. I would say, man,
Speaker 2: that's my answer, final answer.
Speaker 1: There we go. That's it. Yeah, this is coming to
Speaker 1: us from Sherry. Why do men? Why do men use
Speaker 1: urinals instead of stalls when in public? They don't have
Speaker 1: urinals at home? I always wondered why, Thanks Moms.
Speaker 3: Iry I literally this is interesting.
Speaker 2: I mean, you take this one first. I have I
Speaker 2: have a perspective though.
Speaker 1: Well it's not it comes down of money, right, it's
Speaker 1: breast text. If I put a toilet down and I
Speaker 1: got to throw the the stanchions up and the wall
Speaker 1: it off and then the door, it's like you just
Speaker 1: like quadrupled your costs as opposed to just all those stalls.
Speaker 1: And sometimes you have stalls without the little even like
Speaker 1: the little thing you.
Speaker 2: Know, so the blocker, yeah, the blocker.
Speaker 1: Yeah. My thing is anytime you and your buddy go
Speaker 1: at the same time and you have the blockers and
Speaker 1: your buddy goes. I was wait for my buddy go first,
Speaker 1: and then I tap him like can you move over please?
Speaker 1: Like come on, man. But that's one of my dumb
Speaker 1: favorite jokes to do.
Speaker 3: I kissed you once when you were paying. Remember I
Speaker 3: came in the back of your neck. That's one of
Speaker 3: my favorite jokes that do. I let you go in
Speaker 3: for vincent.
Speaker 1: Breath, and then.
Speaker 2: I think anybody whispered, how's it going the urinal? Would
Speaker 2: you have a urinal at home?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 2: If you could.
Speaker 1: Just be in the toilet and then yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Think the urinal really for the The thing about the
Speaker 3: urinal that it does versus the stole is speed. It's turnover, right,
Speaker 3: and if you've got people going through quick. I mean
Speaker 3: I find urinals actually kind of really disgusting. Have you
Speaker 3: ever like stepped up to urinal it's always it's always
Speaker 3: damp on the floor, but like and you notice your
Speaker 3: shoes untied.
Speaker 2: That is one of the worst things in the world. Yeah, right,
Speaker 2: I hate that.
Speaker 3: But I think the urinals just for convenience of time,
Speaker 3: I think it got built. You used to go into
Speaker 3: some of these dive bars, I'm sure you did in
Speaker 3: college that they just have a trow. Do you ever
Speaker 3: have those that's disgusting, disgusting.
Speaker 6: Pee trow where people just line up, wang's out, there's
Speaker 6: no diviners, everybody's all wasted that peeing on each other.
Speaker 6: It's disgusting because I was my worst part about like
Speaker 6: not drinking.
Speaker 2: I would always walk into those situation it's sober.
Speaker 3: Okay, and there would be guys back there wasted peeing
Speaker 3: from six feet back thinking they're hitting it.
Speaker 1: The only redeeming thing about a trough is is when
Speaker 1: you're there and you get your you're peeing ten eleven
Speaker 1: ten m pm because then you're melting nice. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that was kind of fun. It's kind of fun to
Speaker 1: see like that ice cube slowly just melt from your
Speaker 1: body heat. And I know that was my own sometimes.
Speaker 3: Ur That's why I peed in drinks at the bottom,
Speaker 3: you know that the urinals sometimes they put that.
Speaker 2: Little b there's like a bo. There's like a little
Speaker 2: be that you can like a target. It doesn't move,
Speaker 2: doesn't do anything.
Speaker 1: They have targets on some of them. Yeah yeah, well
Speaker 1: then you get you get the uh the cool bar
Speaker 1: that has like the big wrap around picture of like
Speaker 1: fifteen hot girls looking down.
Speaker 2: Like ye to get it. Yeah yeah, yeah. So I
Speaker 2: think the urinal just is at a convenience and speed
Speaker 2: in public.
Speaker 3: But I would if I go into a stall and
Speaker 3: p a lot too, you know, if they're if they're
Speaker 3: you take a dump.
Speaker 2: In a stall, I take a dump in a urinal,
Speaker 2: which really and.
Speaker 1: That's what I meant in the urinal for the funnies,
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: And you know it is what it is. You know, judge,
Speaker 2: if you want, but the bathrooms you.
Speaker 1: Gotta go, you goetta go. I knew, uh this girl
Speaker 1: I had dated, she had called me like a year
Speaker 1: after I dated her, and she's like, I got to
Speaker 1: talk to you. And I thought, oh, like is this something? Like,
Speaker 1: like what's wrong? She's like, you know, I always appreciated
Speaker 1: that you've been a friend since we broke up, But.
Speaker 2: I think I want to break up with somebody.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, okay, And she's like, but is
Speaker 1: this a dumb reason to break up with somebody? I said, well,
Speaker 1: what is it? She said, well, he peas sitting down,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, a hundred percent. I mean,
Speaker 1: unless it's avoiding you, like I don't. I never understood that.
Speaker 1: I know it's a handful of guys that do that
Speaker 1: out there, but I don't understand ping sitting down.
Speaker 3: Listen at three am, p if I'm stumbling and bumbling
Speaker 3: to the bathroom, I'll sit down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll tell you why.
Speaker 2: I still Yeah, this is the reason, this is the
Speaker 2: reason why I will. I'm lazy. I like to sit.
Speaker 3: Also, I'm like slight, sleepy eyed, I got the aim
Speaker 3: and everything. It takes away a lot out of the equation.
Speaker 3: You know, I'll sit there, but it's it's I don't
Speaker 3: do it on the regular. I mean people do it
Speaker 3: on the regular as a choice. It seems little lot
Speaker 3: to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And are you uh do you do the night
Speaker 1: time pee getting older?
Speaker 2: I'm yeah, I'm pinining. I'm pinining all the time. I
Speaker 2: wake up and peel all the time. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I poop standing up. That's a choice. Most people
Speaker 3: find that interesting. I mean I do a I do too.
Speaker 3: I call it a two footer stand up there, Tim, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I think it's more fun. Uh No, I I yeah,
Speaker 3: I've been doing that for a while though. I just
Speaker 3: get up. I don't sleep much though, you know, I'm
Speaker 3: five hours. Yeah, it's kind of nappy thing.
Speaker 1: No, I mean, I'm a little crip keeper. I go
Speaker 1: down for the count and that's it.
Speaker 2: So and then you wake up and you pee for
Speaker 2: forty five minutes.
Speaker 1: I do the Austin Powers. Yeah, I'm at it well, Sherry,
Speaker 1: I think for me, at least, I think it's a
Speaker 1: Joe says turn and burn I say it's a it's
Speaker 1: a financial issue. So probably both of those are this
Speaker 1: someone knows from Bobby. Bobby says, my girlfriend hasn't left
Speaker 1: her basement apartment since Thanksgiving twenty twenty two. I want
Speaker 1: to help her with her anxiety, but nothing seems to work.
Speaker 1: I know some people go through moments of social disconnection,
Speaker 1: but this seems too long. How can I get her
Speaker 1: out of her literal comfort zone?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 1: I mean that's that's two years. I mean technically three,
Speaker 1: but two that's all in that she hasn't even left, Like,
Speaker 1: how do you work? I guess she works at home?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, remotely, I guess.
Speaker 1: Or but he didn't say why she's not leaving.
Speaker 2: Well, he's anxiety anxiety, social anxiety.
Speaker 1: But I know a lot of folks, like I know
Speaker 1: a lot of people you know, friends with in LA
Speaker 1: didn't leave their homes for a good year and a
Speaker 1: year and a half from COVID, So I don't know
Speaker 1: if there's some anxiety due to that, but there's.
Speaker 2: Definitely a tipping point though.
Speaker 3: That seems a long time, and it seems like she
Speaker 3: may need help with her mental situation for the anxiety
Speaker 3: be so crippling that she won't leave the basement for
Speaker 3: almost three year. I think that's too long, you know,
Speaker 3: I think it's too long. I think anybody would say that,
Speaker 3: any rational person would be like, that's too long to
Speaker 3: not leave your home.
Speaker 2: Of course, especially you know, health.
Speaker 3: Reasons and you know, getting out and about and just
Speaker 3: getting some fresh air and whatnot.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's that's tough.
Speaker 3: I would probably seek assistance with this one. I mean
Speaker 3: that feels like there needs to be a professional pulled
Speaker 3: in right for this one. I mean you can't, like
Speaker 3: you could, but you can't like chloroform or drag rat
Speaker 3: the house and that she wakes up in a field
Speaker 3: and be like.
Speaker 2: Got yeah, Like that's probably not the right move. Although
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna take it off the table.
Speaker 1: You got to pull a mister T on the A team,
Speaker 1: right yea milk. And it's so funny that we're at
Speaker 1: a point where like we're here to give advice, but
Speaker 1: we're like, you know what, we can only take you
Speaker 1: so Far's time to get a professional here. It's it's
Speaker 1: called I do wonder what the source of social anxiety
Speaker 1: is if? If it is social, is it like COVID
Speaker 1: is a bird flu? Is it? Like there's a multitude
Speaker 1: of reasons people don't leave their home. So I'd love
Speaker 1: to know more about that because if it's like you know,
Speaker 1: you know, it's like it's also like what you're being filtered, right,
Speaker 1: Like what are you watching that's keeping you home? Because
Speaker 1: I know some people get news from one source left
Speaker 1: and slight, and that dictates a lot of a lot
Speaker 1: of how.
Speaker 3: They It might be trying to block a stimulus or
Speaker 3: something like that. Like I had a couple of friends
Speaker 3: who like deleted Twitter for a while and whatnot because
Speaker 3: things are they felt like there was too much.
Speaker 2: But that might that might be a that's actually a
Speaker 2: very it's.
Speaker 3: A very very good call there, Stevie's very proud of you, Joe.
Speaker 1: I can only take you so far.
Speaker 2: Though.
Speaker 1: As good as that is, there are times you got
Speaker 1: to call in the pros.
Speaker 2: Yes, I would say that, So either here's your options.
Speaker 3: Okay, call a professional, buy some chloroform, delete their Twitter.
Speaker 2: That's pretty much what we've gotten you here.
Speaker 1: But I also think it's like you are a good
Speaker 1: friend to her. There's got to be something she misses, right,
Speaker 1: Like if you said, hey, right, let's go get a
Speaker 1: deep dish from Pizza Hud and have like a nineties night,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, let's have like a yeah, let's get
Speaker 1: an old fashioned deep dish pizza. Like the one thing
Speaker 1: I would leave the house for. What would that be,
Speaker 1: whether it's a concert.
Speaker 2: Or something live. Yeah, for sure, some entertainment right tow.
Speaker 2: Steve Burne is in town.
Speaker 3: I mean you could go to tickets, you know, punch
Speaker 3: Up Live live dot live, and you can search for
Speaker 3: Steve burn find out where he is a go to
Speaker 3: joke ottofficial dot com and see where I'm at.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I'll take you. Here's something.
Speaker 3: If you get the this person to come after the show,
Speaker 3: we'll come back.
Speaker 2: Let him come back and say hello and realize there
Speaker 2: you go. There we go. If that's not tantalizing enough,
Speaker 2: don't tickets? Yes, and you know what, I'll throw a
Speaker 2: t shirt. Let's see it says your name on it.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to life. There it is your name.
Speaker 1: That's right, all right?
Speaker 2: For one more, let's do one more. Here we go.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is coming to us from Maggie. I'm looking
Speaker 1: at getting professional help from my anxiety, but struggle with
Speaker 1: telling my mom and her reaction. I need advice for
Speaker 1: my cool moms on how to approach my real mom.
Speaker 1: Thank you well. I think it's a healthy thing if
Speaker 1: you feel that you have anxiety and then you're addressing
Speaker 1: it with a professional I don't know a parent in
Speaker 1: the world that wouldn't be supportive of it. I would
Speaker 1: think that that's something that any parent could get behind.
Speaker 1: I mean, certainly if my child, you know, twelve, but
Speaker 1: let's say she got a little older and she said, hey,
Speaker 1: I'd like to seek professional help for X, Y Z.
Speaker 1: Of course, what do you need? And I think it's
Speaker 1: so admirable that you know that you have something troubling
Speaker 1: you and the fact that you want to address it
Speaker 1: and you're willing to take the right steps. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's so much better. What a pendulum swing from the
Speaker 1: other one, right of somebody who has anxiety but won't
Speaker 1: address it, or won't confront it, or won't look for help.
Speaker 1: You're actually looking for help. So I think, boy, what
Speaker 1: parent in the world wouldn't be happy for you or supportive?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I think a lot of it comes from, uh, you know,
Speaker 3: it's just happen to tell your parents. Why don't you
Speaker 3: want to tell them?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Look at that?
Speaker 3: First of all, do you feel like you're a disappointment
Speaker 3: because you have anxiety, You're not able to handle it yourself,
Speaker 3: You're afraid of their reaction? I mean that's all You're
Speaker 3: putting that all out there on yourself. You're setting up
Speaker 3: barriers for no reason, like you don't know that's the outcome, right,
Speaker 3: You're I guarantee like there might be a little bit
Speaker 3: of oh, why, what's the matter? What can't why can't
Speaker 3: I help you? Or some defensiveness as a parent that
Speaker 3: they might be like what what can And then that's
Speaker 3: going to immediately dissipate when they realize that it's helping you,
Speaker 3: because everybody wants their child helped.
Speaker 2: So you just gotta get over that first thing.
Speaker 3: And I would say a lot of it's probably self
Speaker 3: inflicting barriers that you're giving yourself. So I would say,
Speaker 3: you know, get over yourself, check yourself for your wreck yourself.
Speaker 3: Then on the ones and twos, talk to mom and
Speaker 3: pops and be like, here's the delio.
Speaker 2: And I would use that exact sentence because the mom
Speaker 2: and dads wanted another dilio. Yeah, but I think that's
Speaker 2: the part of it. I think you need to just
Speaker 2: get it. Fire them up here we go. Listen you say, mom,
Speaker 2: here's the remix Wicked. I got issues. You know, I'm
Speaker 2: dealing with desieties and I need some help. Please, that's
Speaker 2: what you're gonna do. You're gonna take it to the
Speaker 2: mom and the pop. Maybe you'll have it over a
Speaker 2: Deep Dish pizza like we talked about earlier.
Speaker 3: You know, Steve didn't have lunch yet, clearly because you
Speaker 3: brought up the Deep Dish twice.
Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, I would.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I wish her all the best and I
Speaker 1: think I don't even think she needs any any good
Speaker 1: luck because she's doing exactly what you should do. That
Speaker 1: would be like.
Speaker 7: And also bottom line, if my dad, mom or dad
Speaker 7: or whoever is upset with you about it that you're
Speaker 7: taking care of yourself, they could go scratch and by
Speaker 7: that they're asked because you got to take care of yourself.
Speaker 2: So go ahead and do it. So there's there's no
Speaker 2: there's no problem here, there's no yes, no, there's no loose.
Speaker 2: It's all win. So good luck to you. Joseph Sebe,
Speaker 2: we did it.
Speaker 1: Can you tell me? I love that It's not me,
Speaker 1: This is not me going Quad to quad, this is me.
Speaker 1: I'm not that I know.
Speaker 2: Jean Claude Van dam I thought you were stretching out
Speaker 2: the next big game. You're stretching out before the next
Speaker 2: big game. But well, I love you.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for taking the time to do
Speaker 3: this with us via via zoom.
Speaker 2: We all love you and appreciate you. Pow yeah, love
Speaker 2: you body. All right. So you know, if you got questions,
Speaker 2: we got answers too.
Speaker 3: Cool Moms Pod at gmail dot com, follow us on
Speaker 3: Instagram at two Cool Moms and to c Stevie live,
Speaker 3: you're gonna go. To Punch Up Live yep, and to
Speaker 3: see Me live, You're gonna go.
Speaker 2: Joe atoficials dot com. All right, guys, love you, Love you, guys.