Speaker 1: So what I found is people. It happens in men,
Speaker 1: it happens in male's late forties, it happens in certainly
Speaker 1: in fifties. But people at a certain age start to
Speaker 1: wonder about their purpose. Let's say you've made some money.
Speaker 1: You know where you are in your career, like your
Speaker 1: kids are getting older. You're not needed for every costume
Speaker 1: or drop off or pick up or bath or whatever
Speaker 1: stage the kids are at. But like let's say they're teens,
Speaker 1: then you start to think about what is your purpose.
Speaker 1: It's not that easy to fill every hour in a day.
Speaker 1: Like you could be somebody who goes and works out
Speaker 1: a lot. Okay, is that an hour's at two hours
Speaker 1: a day? You shop a lot, you do some charity,
Speaker 1: you work, let's say you work eight hours a day.
Speaker 1: But like you're getting older and you're in your fifties,
Speaker 1: and you're wondering, like, is this it is? This is
Speaker 1: my big thing? This is my life, like my kids
Speaker 1: were my life. But now I'm going to be an
Speaker 1: empty nester soon. So I'm finding and also in the
Speaker 1: same way that a woman every time she gets her period,
Speaker 1: she gets PMS and she's miserable, and she like thinks
Speaker 1: it's the first time it's ever happened, and she thinks
Speaker 1: she's the only one going through it. In the same way,
Speaker 1: this purposeless feeling that people get in their forties and fifties,
Speaker 1: it's like adjacent to a midlife crisis. It's something that
Speaker 1: people don't recognize as what it is because it's sort
Speaker 1: of like we don't recognize our age. We might still
Speaker 1: look at someone twenty years younger than us, like a
Speaker 1: man or something, and think that they are so attractive
Speaker 1: and they could be our type. When they're twenty years
Speaker 1: younger than us, we're not there anymore. We're in our
Speaker 1: fifties now. The same way that you know, you still
Speaker 1: have the same eyeballs. We still think that, like we're
Speaker 1: supposed to have the same drive and hunger and passion
Speaker 1: and value and relevance and all that stuff in the workforce.
Speaker 1: And the truth is we're older, we're not expired. But
Speaker 1: it's just not the same. Not everyone is working until
Speaker 1: they're ninety, and not everyone's reinventing themselves like Martha Stewart
Speaker 1: at eighty, you know, And and it's a thing that
Speaker 1: has to be resolved. It's difficult to find purpose I
Speaker 1: find that it's a thing that many people are looking for,
Speaker 1: and it's like some people they don't want to just
Speaker 1: check the boxes, like Okay, I'm going over there and
Speaker 1: I'm doing charity, but like I don't feel like I'm
Speaker 1: really like digging into it or I'm investing in different things.
Speaker 1: And yes, I'm making money, but I don't feel like
Speaker 1: I'm responsible for it. I'm not building something. And every
Speaker 1: really successful wealthy person that I've ever had on this
Speaker 1: podcast is not doing what they're doing or wasn't doing
Speaker 1: what they're doing, like Cheryl Samberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, like really
Speaker 1: successful people Mark Cuban, Gary Vee, Dana White. They don't
Speaker 1: do it for the money grant cardone. They're doing it
Speaker 1: because it's who they are. It's like imprinted in them
Speaker 1: in their DNA, Like they want to build something, they
Speaker 1: love the idea, they want to create something, they want
Speaker 1: to add value to something, and that's who I am.
Speaker 1: Money is a great scorecard, you know, titles for some
Speaker 1: people are a great scorecard, promotions, being the best salesperson
Speaker 1: of the year, whatever it is. But like people who
Speaker 1: are true success stories, they do it because of the
Speaker 1: passion and the drive, and that's the thing that happens
Speaker 1: when people are in their forties and fifties. It's that purpose.
Speaker 1: It's that like every day somebody needs you for something.
Speaker 1: You are integral to some process. You are the hub,
Speaker 1: the centerpiece of whatever this thing is, and you have
Speaker 1: to try to find it and back to authenticity, which
Speaker 1: I talk about all the time. It really has to
Speaker 1: be authentic. So I had left Reality TV, was getting
Speaker 1: paid several million dollars for a couple of months of work.
Speaker 1: It was not fun. I didn't like it. It was toxic,
Speaker 1: but I mean it was some fun. I laughed a little,
Speaker 1: but I left and I sold my apartment in the
Speaker 1: city for a lot of money. And I thought like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I make money, I have money, I have a podcast,
Speaker 1: I do well, I do appearances, et cetera. But something
Speaker 1: in my body, probably I just was working towards something
Speaker 1: else and I didn't look for anything. I didn't say
Speaker 1: I have to find something. I walked away from HSN,
Speaker 1: which was also a lot of money. I walked away
Speaker 1: from a deal with Mark Burnett, which was also a
Speaker 1: lot of money. I was kind of like, I was
Speaker 1: kind of like clearing out my closet. I didn't do
Speaker 1: it intentionally, but I had known that I had become
Speaker 1: successful on some level and that I was going to
Speaker 1: start to do things only that I really liked. It
Speaker 1: wasn't like a mantra yet, it was sort of just
Speaker 1: like happening, like this doesn't feel good, doesn't feel good
Speaker 1: to be on the housewise, it doesn't feel good to
Speaker 1: be on HSN, it doesn't feel good to be in
Speaker 1: this partnership with Mark Burnett's team, like it just didn't
Speaker 1: feel good. So I would slowly chip away at it
Speaker 1: and walk away from different things for my own reasons.
Speaker 1: And an apparel deal with a big, big, like you know,
Speaker 1: almost billionaire apparel guy like just I kept doing that,
Speaker 1: and that seemed like, Okay, I'm gonna have to scale back.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to do less, buy less, travel less,
Speaker 1: like you know, have fewer homes whatever, because I was
Speaker 1: being true to myself. But what ended up happening was
Speaker 1: I sat down in front of my phone, screwing around
Speaker 1: with makeup and just playing and talking about things that
Speaker 1: are actually interesting to me because I had the creative freedom,
Speaker 1: because I wasn't obligated and tethered to things that I
Speaker 1: didn't want to be doing, and so my best creative
Speaker 1: ideas always come when I'm rested, when I'm free. The
Speaker 1: best ideas don't come when you're in a grind in
Speaker 1: a think tank stressing out. The best ideas come when
Speaker 1: you allow, when you are free, when you're walking, when
Speaker 1: you're breathing, when you're sleeping, when you are free, because
Speaker 1: that's when your brain is not so crowded. And so
Speaker 1: I just was playing around and my current social media
Speaker 1: business and my mingle mocktails business, which is a result
Speaker 1: of my social media business, and my points business point me,
Speaker 1: which is a business that allows you to utilize your points.
Speaker 1: And my salad dressings and my popcorn and my coffee
Speaker 1: and my shapewear, all of these things are and my
Speaker 1: Forever Young Wine are way way more lucrative than my
Speaker 1: top day when I was doing Skinny Girl and when
Speaker 1: I was on the Housewives, making millions of dollars. But
Speaker 1: it's because I just I didn't want to just do nothing,
Speaker 1: and I was being authentic and true to myself and
Speaker 1: this podcast it's become more and more successful because I
Speaker 1: also stopped having on guests that I just thought would
Speaker 1: be like big ticket items that would quote unquote rate
Speaker 1: versus like me just talking about whatever I want to
Speaker 1: talk about to you, whatever's on my mind. So like
Speaker 1: the freedom of being true to yourself. Just talking to
Speaker 1: Chris Appleton and asking him a question that I did
Speaker 1: not know was a question no one had ever asked
Speaker 1: him about being a gay man who's in a marriage
Speaker 1: to a woman, Like I'm just being more true to myself.
Speaker 1: And as we get to an age where we're looking
Speaker 1: for purpose, you can't really do it from the outside in.
Speaker 1: And as you try to create businesses and ideas, you
Speaker 1: can't do it from the outside in. It's got to
Speaker 1: be from the inside out. Like everything comes from the
Speaker 1: inside out. It's not. And every bad idea I've ever had,
Speaker 1: or bad business I've ever entered into is from the
Speaker 1: outside And you're supposed to want to do a talk show.
Speaker 1: It's what everybody wants, you know, it's what the big
Speaker 1: money is, and you're gonna make this kind of money,
Speaker 1: and this so much Allen's making, and this how much
Speaker 1: Rachel Ray's making. But in my body, I didn't want
Speaker 1: to do it. I didn't like the way it feels.
Speaker 1: I don't like a lot of traffic. I don't like
Speaker 1: a lot of people. I don't like having to get
Speaker 1: in a car and go somewhere and be in hair
Speaker 1: and makeup with two hundred employees. I don't like infrastructure
Speaker 1: like that, So that makes sense that that didn't work.
Speaker 1: Or when I wanted to do a certain beverage and
Speaker 1: my partner said, my partner, Arizona Beverage said, you have
Speaker 1: to wait a year or two to do what you
Speaker 1: want to do, but this is what we think you
Speaker 1: should do because the market tells us that Sparkling Ice
Speaker 1: beverage is making so much money that we need to
Speaker 1: have our own version of it, skinny Girl Sparklers. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, but that's already there. Sparkling Ice is there,
Speaker 1: and by the time we get ours to market, it's
Speaker 1: going to be too late, which is exact exactly what happened.
Speaker 1: And like listening to them, listening to the outside or
Speaker 1: going and selling skinny raw cocktails and then be my
Speaker 1: people who bought me telling me that like Target wants
Speaker 1: every single flavor, they want twenty skews and pina colada
Speaker 1: and pumping out innovation when the inside of me knows
Speaker 1: that you always go one thing at a time. Because
Speaker 1: when I was making all this money doing pesh minas
Speaker 1: years ago, you know, the market told me we gotta
Speaker 1: do pannchas, we gotta do pajamas, and I made no
Speaker 1: money on all that. It actually pulled the main thing down.
Speaker 1: Just stick to the shawls, even if you're making a
Speaker 1: lot less money on them, because they've become a lot
Speaker 1: less popular. You're not pulling yourself down by all of
Speaker 1: those other things that everyone else is telling you you'd
Speaker 1: need to do. Ahsn. Everyone wants to do eight percent.
Speaker 1: Everybody wants that amazing coveted spot they're giving you two
Speaker 1: times a day where you could sell millions of dollars
Speaker 1: in merchandise. But every time I would get in front
Speaker 1: of the camera on the lights no disrespect to HSCN,
Speaker 1: I felt my soul crushing. I don't like hi, and
Speaker 1: let's sell this today. And it's too much being forced
Speaker 1: to sell for two hours and like you're supposed to
Speaker 1: pretend that every single thing is the Second Coming when
Speaker 1: you can't be like this sort of sucks. It's fine,
Speaker 1: you know. And the most authentic thing I ever did
Speaker 1: on HSM was one day refused to sell the bathing
Speaker 1: suits because they were trash and my partners were like
Speaker 1: forcing me to sell them or like they're trash. I'm
Speaker 1: not selling these people trash. So somehow I found my
Speaker 1: way into being able to talk about what I want
Speaker 1: to talk about authentically. That Chanell fucking dissed me that
Speaker 1: the four seasons sold me a disgusting stir fry that
Speaker 1: as a matter of fact, the four season should be
Speaker 1: crediting back the money that we paid for that stuffry.
Speaker 1: But anyway, you know, like being able to just be honest.
Speaker 1: Years ago, I moved to LA and I wanted to
Speaker 1: be an actress because I thought I wanted to be
Speaker 1: an actress because it seemed like what I was supposed
Speaker 1: to want. But every time I'd go on an audition,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I feel so trapped. I have to
Speaker 1: be somebody else. How could I be myself? This was
Speaker 1: like when was this was in the eighties in the nineties, Like,
Speaker 1: how could I be myself? How can I make money
Speaker 1: being myself? It's not a host because that's it's also scripted.
Speaker 1: There was no reality TV like there is now, so
Speaker 1: like I was foreshadowing what my life would be. I
Speaker 1: was like, I what I feel inside is that I
Speaker 1: want to be myself. How do I be myself? I'm entertaining,
Speaker 1: I'm funny. How do I just be myself? The road
Speaker 1: met me where I was at because acting was not
Speaker 1: being myself. Acting was acting, but it seemed like being
Speaker 1: yourself because your mouth is moving and words are coming out.
Speaker 1: So I guess what I'm saying is you find your
Speaker 1: purpose from your passion and what's going on on the
Speaker 1: inside out. And I think we have to be really
Speaker 1: true to ourselves and give ourselves grace and give ourselves patience.
Speaker 1: And if you're in the wrong thing, something that feels
Speaker 1: soul crushing, it's like being in the wrong relationship. Won't
Speaker 1: you won't find the right thing because your bandwidth is
Speaker 1: crowded with the wrong thing. And it takes courage to
Speaker 1: walk away from multiple millions of dollars from HSN, from
Speaker 1: a television show, and from a podcast. And it takes
Speaker 1: courage to walk away from a job where you were
Speaker 1: four one k. These things take courage. It takes courage
Speaker 1: to walk out of a relationship that isn't bad. It
Speaker 1: just maybe like little by little crushing your soul every day,
Speaker 1: or maybe like you don't know yes, so it's no.
Speaker 1: And that's how it's been with these businesses, and that's
Speaker 1: what happens with purpose. You've got to clear the decks
Speaker 1: for the good to come in. You don't realize it.
Speaker 1: I was in a relationship that was very good, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't the right relationship for me, and I felt
Speaker 1: it because I didn't know yes, I didn't know no.
Speaker 1: But I just I've done this many times, and maybe
Speaker 1: maybe that means I'm never supposed to be in a relationship.
Speaker 1: It doesn't, but I'm not going to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship that's wrong. Just as a seat filler, we do
Speaker 1: it or we don't. So if you're in something that
Speaker 1: feels bad and you can afford to walk away from it,
Speaker 1: you probably should walk away from it because you will jump,
Speaker 1: and you will fly, most person to the after, most
Speaker 1: to the asper