Speaker 1: How easy would it be to switch babies on someone
Speaker 1: in the hospital?
Speaker 2: Easy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh God, damn it? Cashaw Cosha show up show.
Speaker 1: Hey guys. Dan Tosh here, host of Toss Show twenty five.
Speaker 1: Happy New Year. We're one weekend and I got to
Speaker 1: tell you, honestly, this year sucks. It's been bad since
Speaker 1: day one. I mean, what what happened? Oh, nothing happened.
Speaker 1: Just a gut feeling you, just a feeling about this,
Speaker 1: just a gut feeling that it's going to be a
Speaker 1: rough one. I went down to the beach and I filmed.
Speaker 1: I don't even tell you I filmed something here. I'll
Speaker 1: just play it for you. Period a second. Trump sucks, Dix,
Speaker 1: that's a crisis, kid, How would hear it?
Speaker 2: Both of those things?
Speaker 1: Now? Well, I'm not a handwriting analysis expert, but did
Speaker 1: you think the guy that was writing christ Is King
Speaker 1: also wrote the other one?
Speaker 2: I man, I want to imagine so God.
Speaker 1: I want to imagine so too. That just be real funny.
Speaker 1: I wonder if a handwriting expert could look at something
Speaker 1: written in the sand and take something away from it.
Speaker 1: That's what we got to find out. We got to
Speaker 1: get a handwriting analysis expert on this show to tell
Speaker 1: me if the man that wrote Trump sucks dis is
Speaker 1: the same that wrote christ Is King. Both messages have
Speaker 1: a strong opinion.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: What if there's a world where's like two people out
Speaker 1: there writing messages in the sand. Yeah, no, it's it's
Speaker 1: it's funny to think of them doing it at the
Speaker 1: same time and looking over at each other. What do
Speaker 1: you have. I'm writing Trump sucks dicks and that guy's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm writing christ Is King. Oh that's good too. Let's
Speaker 1: go ahead, breakfast, little nail on head. If you ask me,
Speaker 1: it's funny when you see something that somebody writes on
Speaker 1: the beach and you're like, ah, that's funny. Speaking of
Speaker 1: saying goodbye to twenty twenty four and good riddance. By
Speaker 1: the way, my wife we've been talking regularly about sitting
Speaker 1: across from me. She seems to be receptive, all right. Now. Now,
Speaker 1: if my wife backs out of the deal somehow, and
Speaker 1: Lord knows she's capable of screwing things up, I thought, well,
Speaker 1: what better replacement than today's guest, my wife's childhood best friend, doctor,
Speaker 1: neonatal nurse practitioner. Oh, it's a good day here. Enjoy Tasha,
Speaker 1: my guest today, has seen a lot despite a humble,
Speaker 1: white trash upbringing in Florida. She is now a neonatal
Speaker 1: nurse practitioner with a PhD. She's also my wife's best
Speaker 1: friend and they share many secrets that they had planned
Speaker 1: to take to the grave. Please welcome doctor Jocelyn.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 1: Are you nervous?
Speaker 2: Very?
Speaker 1: But it's the best, Jos. This is a special day
Speaker 1: for me to have you in the hot seat now, Jocelyn,
Speaker 1: many people might not know you. I believe were The
Speaker 1: very first hello from Toss Show was to you. Yes,
Speaker 1: but you're my wife's best friend. Ah, that's silly. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's debatable if you're her best friend because
Speaker 1: you guys have a little click. I don't know the
Speaker 1: pecking order exactly, but we'll get to it eventually. Do
Speaker 1: you believe in ghosts?
Speaker 2: I lived with the ghost ones you did? Yes? When
Speaker 2: when I lived in Canada, our apartment was haunted like it.
Speaker 2: I don't know how to explain, but we would wake
Speaker 2: up in the middle of the night to like water
Speaker 2: being turned on like full blast, and then it would
Speaker 2: shut off, and then it would turn on blast and
Speaker 2: shut off. One time we were like telling a friend
Speaker 2: that the water kept turning on and off in the
Speaker 2: middle of the night, and as we were explaining it
Speaker 2: to him in like broad daylight, the water in the
Speaker 2: bathroom like turned on full blast.
Speaker 1: Oh that's good. That was good of some validation. Yep,
Speaker 1: are you Canadian?
Speaker 2: Half Canadian?
Speaker 1: Were you born in Canada?
Speaker 2: No? I was born in Florida.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you and my wife you met in fourth grade? Yes,
Speaker 1: So you guys met in fourth grade and you had
Speaker 1: the same boyfriend. No, wait, you wanted to switch boyfriends
Speaker 1: in fourth grade.
Speaker 2: We went to different elementary schools. Oh, but they had
Speaker 2: like one community fourth grade dance and.
Speaker 1: Your the fourth grade dance. They allowed fourth grades to dance.
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 1: That seems weird, okay.
Speaker 2: And they at that dance, that's where I met her,
Speaker 2: and she asked me if we would trade boyfriends.
Speaker 1: So the first time you met her was her saying, hey,
Speaker 1: can we trade boyfriends?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Who was the guy she was with?
Speaker 2: Ian Sharp?
Speaker 1: Ian Shark a famous Now I know Ian Sharp only
Speaker 1: only through folklore. Him and his brother. His brother's name
Speaker 1: was Madison. Yep, Madison Sharp. They were the best skim
Speaker 1: boarders on the West coast of Florida. Oh, they could
Speaker 1: skimboard and every every girl knew it. Which one of
Speaker 1: them played Glycerin one time on the guitar. Ian Ian
Speaker 1: Sharp played Glycerin on an acoustic guitar, and the girls
Speaker 1: just just I don't I don't want to say this
Speaker 1: because I don't know how old they were, but they
Speaker 1: were turned on true or false?
Speaker 2: True?
Speaker 1: Okay, so you were with.
Speaker 2: Ian carl you were with a boy named Chip.
Speaker 1: A boy named Chip No One, and Charlie was like
Speaker 1: fucking and she wanted to switch to Chip, and you
Speaker 1: were like, yes, I will make this switch.
Speaker 2: I think I said no. You said no, yea, I
Speaker 2: said no.
Speaker 1: But Chip, Chip's dead, right unfortunately? Yeah, yeah, that's that's
Speaker 1: that's very unfortunate. Uh. He died in an ATV.
Speaker 2: Accident not long a couple of years after that.
Speaker 1: Now, my wife famously, in her family, they love to
Speaker 1: fucking talk about it that she skipped third grade or
Speaker 1: second grade, one of them, one of the meaningless grades.
Speaker 1: They act like, oh, she's so gifted. She has to
Speaker 1: a shitty Florida public school. She skipped a grade. I
Speaker 1: tell you what if you can't skip a grade in Florida.
Speaker 1: You might you might need to be tested anyway. All right, Carly, Yeah,
Speaker 1: was my wife the valedictorian of her high school, and
Speaker 1: you were a distant six. You were six, seventh, seventh,
Speaker 1: You were in the top ten.
Speaker 2: Yeah, top ten.
Speaker 1: We know this because when all of them get together,
Speaker 1: this little friend group, one of them Megan who's in Kentucky.
Speaker 1: She didn't get into the top ten.
Speaker 2: I think she was eleven.
Speaker 1: Embarrassing. I know she finished eleventh in the class, which
Speaker 1: I don't think they even they don't even recognize that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're just you're just in the class. But now you
Speaker 1: know you've graduated from Johns Hopkins. Do you think that
Speaker 1: you are so much smarter than Carly?
Speaker 2: No, you don't know.
Speaker 1: Oh but you are.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I asked Carly simple questions, and then when she doesn't answer,
Speaker 1: I go the The fact that you call yourself a
Speaker 1: valictorie is embarrassing.
Speaker 2: It is a Florida high school.
Speaker 1: I know, but she should be able to answer simple questions.
Speaker 1: How old was my wife when she lost her Virginity.
Speaker 2: College college?
Speaker 1: Yeah, she didn't lose it in high school. No, that's
Speaker 1: great to hear. Look, at that she's pristine. Oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: there's so much tread on the tire before we get
Speaker 1: into the fact that you're you know, you take care
Speaker 1: of babies in the nick you the most traumatic time
Speaker 1: for most parents, and you've done this for how long?
Speaker 2: Sixteen years?
Speaker 1: Sixteen years? That's actually a long time. Good for you.
Speaker 2: Well, I was a nurse for five and then I've
Speaker 2: been a nurse practitioner for eleven.
Speaker 1: I guess when did you get your PhD?
Speaker 2: Was it a DMP? I don't know if it matters, but.
Speaker 1: Was it k Are you a doctor?
Speaker 2: Yes, a doctorate of Nursing Practice, which is a little
Speaker 2: bit different than.
Speaker 1: A that's what they make women get.
Speaker 2: No, those what that you make women get? That don't
Speaker 2: like research.
Speaker 1: I just remember putting your report cards up on my refrigerator.
Speaker 1: How long ago was that?
Speaker 2: Twenty nineteen? Okay, yeah, five years?
Speaker 1: I remember that. Before children, life was fun, Yeah, a
Speaker 1: lot of them. Are you exhausted by the way today?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: She flew here today, all the way from Charlotte, North Carolina.
Speaker 1: Do you hate Charlotte?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: When I first met you, you were you were doing
Speaker 1: travel nursing a lot, so you would live in different places.
Speaker 1: I believe when I first met you were living in Houston.
Speaker 1: Maybe I didn't meet you when you lived in La. No,
Speaker 1: you've lived in La You've lived in Seattle, You've lived
Speaker 1: in Houston, yep. And at different points you've loved them
Speaker 1: all and you've hated them all. Which cities in the
Speaker 1: United States have the best hospital care for babies and mothers?
Speaker 2: The West Coast in a mile? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What about New York?
Speaker 2: I think like the Boston New York area is pretty good,
Speaker 2: but then the South is like there's actually the margin.
Speaker 2: Dimes has a report card and if you look at
Speaker 2: the report card, it's like pretty good, Like New Hampshire's
Speaker 2: pretty good up in the northeast, and in the south
Speaker 2: is just like a D and an F and that.
Speaker 1: Just speaks volumes. But huh, you can't tell them anything,
Speaker 1: ken you. No, they've got everything figured out. Well. Enjoy
Speaker 1: your coin flip. Okay, full term forty? When when does
Speaker 1: the nick you? When is it mandatory that the baby
Speaker 1: has to go to the Nike?
Speaker 2: You usually less than thirty, like under thirty five weeks
Speaker 2: and under like two kilos or one point eight like
Speaker 2: around four pounds. They would have to come to us.
Speaker 2: But if you're thirty five or thirty six weeks and
Speaker 2: you can like maintain your blood sugar, you can breathe
Speaker 2: on your own, you can stay warm, then you would
Speaker 2: stay with your parents.
Speaker 1: Oh what a cutoff. Yeah, you got to make it
Speaker 1: to thirty five weeks. Yeah, and anything before when you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's not that's not gonna that's going to be a
Speaker 1: lifetime of some some potential.
Speaker 2: We've gotten better, You've got.
Speaker 1: You can fix things.
Speaker 2: Yes, like we are. Science is a lot better now.
Speaker 2: We take care of the baby's a lot better. So
Speaker 2: like I used to think, like when I first started,
Speaker 2: like twenty six weeks, was like, oh jeez, like I
Speaker 2: hope they learn how to walk, And now like a
Speaker 2: twenty two weeker can do all the things.
Speaker 1: What percentage of babies that are born before thirty weeks live.
Speaker 2: The further you are from term, the less likely you
Speaker 2: are to survive. But even like a thirty weeker has
Speaker 2: like a ninety over ninety five percent chance.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like they do really went five week old.
Speaker 2: Twenty five week er probably, I don't know the statistics
Speaker 2: off the top of my head, but like really good survival.
Speaker 2: But if they have more bid like different things wrong
Speaker 2: with them because they were premature. It goes up higher
Speaker 2: and higher the earlier you are born.
Speaker 1: Is there any age where it's like, no, that does
Speaker 1: that's that's.
Speaker 2: Twenty two weeks. I'm not going to try to Yeah,
Speaker 2: twenty two and zero is the lowest we will save, okay,
Speaker 2: or like attempt resuscitation, like offer to do something, and.
Speaker 1: That's anywhere in this country. You always used to joke
Speaker 1: about when you were pregnant, like hey, go to Mexico
Speaker 1: until you're from twenty to twenty eight weeks.
Speaker 2: I still would do that personally, but right, not twenty
Speaker 2: eight but like twenty four weeks.
Speaker 1: Is the point that you were saying was sometimes in
Speaker 1: this country we save children that we probably shouldn't, right,
Speaker 1: And it's not shouldn't, but it's like, come on, like
Speaker 1: nature's handling itself here, guys, right.
Speaker 2: Well, it just doesn't take a lot to be a baby.
Speaker 2: So like all they have to really do is breathe
Speaker 2: and tolerate food. But it's hard to imagine what that
Speaker 2: would be like as like a five year old, where
Speaker 2: it's like they are all they're doing is what a
Speaker 2: baby would do.
Speaker 1: What's the youngest baby you've delivered that you've seen.
Speaker 2: Survive twenty two and zero?
Speaker 1: Do you always try to break the record?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, I mean the thing with the pregnancies that you
Speaker 1: just you're always like, oh, well, once I get once
Speaker 1: I hear a heartbeat, and they're saying, well, no, you
Speaker 1: got to get to the twenty one one where you
Speaker 1: can really find out this, and then it's like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you got to make sure that they're at least thirty.
Speaker 1: It's just there's just no end. That's the problem. And
Speaker 1: my mom would argue, you know, who was a lifetime
Speaker 1: nurse and she did pediatrics for a long time, but
Speaker 1: would just be like, they love to do that when
Speaker 1: an our day well and our day kids just died constantly.
Speaker 1: But take that away. There is something too like oh
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant and not knowing anything until oh I'm delivering.
Speaker 1: Is there is some peace of mind in that. Well,
Speaker 1: you can at least focus more on the excited stuff,
Speaker 1: because like you, I try to get you excited about
Speaker 1: stuff and you're like, well, yeah, but look at this,
Speaker 1: this and this, and what if you're always like what
Speaker 1: if their eyes aren't blue? You don't care about that.
Speaker 1: How awful is it talking to these parents that were
Speaker 1: so excited about having a baby, and then it's, oh.
Speaker 2: They're excited even if they're born premature. They are, I
Speaker 2: mean they're sad for like the baby being born early,
Speaker 2: but they're just very It's they get to celebrate a
Speaker 2: bundred milestones that like a baby born at term they
Speaker 2: would never get to, like breathing on your own or
Speaker 2: like taking a bottle for the first time eight weeks
Speaker 2: after you're born. Like, they're they're very excited.
Speaker 1: It's how many people is it? Is it like because
Speaker 1: of drugs or anything like that.
Speaker 2: In Seattle, Seattle had more than other places like north
Speaker 2: of Seattle. There's a lot of heroin there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well no, I mean I figured as much. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: they get them all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, by the.
Speaker 1: Way, true or false, especially in Seattle. Yeah, a lot
Speaker 1: of times people would come in delivering early because they
Speaker 1: try to do a little recreational cocaine.
Speaker 2: Sometimes, Like cocaine is not that popular. Well it's not
Speaker 2: like the drug of choice.
Speaker 1: Of course it's not. But if if you do cocaine
Speaker 1: while you're.
Speaker 2: Pregnant, you can have as abruption.
Speaker 1: You hear that, guys, yes, don't let him do cocaine.
Speaker 1: They're gonna have a baby. Have you ever played a
Speaker 1: prank on the dad and brought a newborn that's a
Speaker 1: different race, uh, to them and like, here's your baby.
Speaker 1: All that'd be fun. You should do that one time.
Speaker 1: Just bring over, bring over, especially because you're in the South,
Speaker 1: go to some some real like good old boy, white
Speaker 1: white man and just bring a little black baby over
Speaker 1: and go, this is your baby and just watch his face.
Speaker 1: Ought to be a good gag. And then be like,
Speaker 1: you're on my prank show, Nick, you race bait. I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm workshopping. I don't like it. Nick, you should see
Speaker 1: your face. That's better. How easy would it be to
Speaker 1: switch babies on someone in the hospital? God damn it.
Speaker 1: I mean we knew it. We knew it.
Speaker 2: It could be done, Yes, it could easily be done.
Speaker 2: All newborns kind of look the same, like, I mean.
Speaker 1: Man, this is true. I don't think my kid's mine.
Speaker 1: I've never wanted to spend fifty bucks on the little
Speaker 1: DNA test I've seen, but maybe I should do it.
Speaker 1: Your life outside of the hospital, hospital precision smart. You
Speaker 1: know everything you do. Then you go home and you
Speaker 1: might be the messiest person I've ever met.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: It's just comical. I've spent almost every holiday with you
Speaker 1: since i've met you, the ones that I care about
Speaker 1: that Thanksgiving, Christmas were usually together.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Then you had to go and ruin everything, and you know,
Speaker 1: you got a man. For the longest time, you were like,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just you know you were you were
Speaker 1: so weird about who you were interested in. I want
Speaker 1: to date Wayne Gretzky. I don't know what you said.
Speaker 1: I was just like some hockey star or something from Canada,
Speaker 1: sem like somebody that you'd like. Okay, is that silly?
Speaker 2: It's really.
Speaker 1: But then then you then you met your current boyfriend,
Speaker 1: and true or false when you met him, he was
Speaker 1: in a healthy marriage.
Speaker 2: It wasn't healthy, but he was married legally. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: it took a while.
Speaker 1: They were separated.
Speaker 2: They were separated, they were like in the process of
Speaker 2: a divorce. Okay, they still had like shared custody of
Speaker 2: their dogs.
Speaker 1: And how long did you wait before having a child
Speaker 1: with him?
Speaker 2: Fifteen months?
Speaker 1: Oh really?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh wow? Why in my head was it so much shorter?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean ten of nine of those months is
Speaker 2: growing a human.
Speaker 1: So you got how quick did you go pregnant?
Speaker 2: Now I got to give right, six months?
Speaker 1: Six months? That's okay, you sneaky, sneaky. Ah. And then
Speaker 1: you guys had a child. Ah that changed everything?
Speaker 2: Yes? Is that fun having a child?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, you've feel better at work now that you
Speaker 1: have a child. That because did people ever be like, oh,
Speaker 1: you don't have a child? Did people ever ask.
Speaker 2: No, No, they would, Nobody ever asked. But I do
Speaker 2: find it harder to be at work now, Like I
Speaker 2: always like thought it was somebody's like, this is someone's
Speaker 2: child that we're like doing these harm like like a
Speaker 2: Lombard puncture or something super painful. It's a like a
Speaker 2: spinal tap, like where you put a needle in their spine.
Speaker 2: But now when I have to do it, I'm like,
Speaker 2: this is somebody's child, Like it like actually like wears
Speaker 2: on me. It's hard for me to do my job
Speaker 2: now that I've had a child.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's tough. There's something something I was seeing your
Speaker 1: kid go in and have any procedure where you're like,
Speaker 1: oh this isn't right.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: You know what I used to like about you, what
Speaker 1: you disappear for six months. Where is she? And then
Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, she's in Thailand. You used to
Speaker 1: travel like a crazy person?
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just by yourself. Yeah, and just like yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: figure things out.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's always That's always impressed me because I could never
Speaker 1: do it. I mean I guess, I guess I probably could.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It terrifies me. You like traveling the
Speaker 1: world by yourself?
Speaker 2: I yeah, I really liked it. It was I mean,
Speaker 2: we was. I would go to places that were supposed
Speaker 2: to be safe for girls to travel by themselves.
Speaker 1: Well, what blog do you look up for that?
Speaker 2: There's actually one called the Blonde Abroad, which is about
Speaker 2: like solo female traveling.
Speaker 1: And that helped you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I followed a lot.
Speaker 1: Of you had you never had any problems.
Speaker 2: The only like scary thing that I had was in
Speaker 2: New Zealand, which is a super safe country.
Speaker 1: Super safe.
Speaker 2: I was in like a camper van for three weeks
Speaker 2: and I was in some random coastal town and I
Speaker 2: could we're.
Speaker 1: In the South Island. I was in southist South Island's
Speaker 1: creepy as shit, Northland. South Island's beautiful.
Speaker 2: It's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Fucking the people in the South Island are fucking weird.
Speaker 1: Christ Church is creepy. Okay, yeah, it's all stupid.
Speaker 2: Yes. But then I was like walking on a boardwalk
Speaker 2: and I could feel somebody following me. And then I
Speaker 2: turned down a street where it was like all w
Speaker 2: windows in the building and I could see his reflection,
Speaker 2: and so it turned into like a pizza place, and
Speaker 2: he stopped and waited outside, and I don't know what
Speaker 2: like possessed me to like go back out, and I
Speaker 2: could see where my hotel was, so I just like ran,
Speaker 2: but he started running too, but thinkfully went inside before
Speaker 2: he he started running too. Creep That was the only
Speaker 2: creepy thing that happened to me.
Speaker 1: That if you dropped something and he was just trying
Speaker 1: to give it back.
Speaker 2: No, he was not trying to get it back.
Speaker 1: Huh did you poop in that van? No? He had
Speaker 1: a bathroom, didn't it Uh?
Speaker 2: I think it did.
Speaker 1: You don't drink water? I do drink, Yeah, it's full.
Speaker 1: You don't pee and you don't drink water? Is that true?
Speaker 2: I mean I used so many times a day? Do
Speaker 2: you pee like three? I'm a nurse. We don't get
Speaker 2: to pee that much at work.
Speaker 1: She never peas. Guys, I know everything about her. She
Speaker 1: never peas.
Speaker 2: It's so baffrom we don't get breaks at work or like,
Speaker 2: can you give a step.
Speaker 1: In the middle of the night to pee?
Speaker 2: No? I know no, but if you start doing it
Speaker 2: becomes like a habit. Your body gets used.
Speaker 1: Oh I p constantly, So you tell me I should stop.
Speaker 2: And started that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's my fault that I think.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: When you're a doctor, you should fucking know.
Speaker 2: Pen's not a habit.
Speaker 1: She says, peen's a habit middle of the night. Pens.
Speaker 1: She's saying, it's not my bladder.
Speaker 2: I could be wrong.
Speaker 1: No, you're definitely wrong. But who cares true or false?
Speaker 1: Before I started dating my wife, she said, why would
Speaker 1: he date me? He only dates supermodels.
Speaker 2: That is true. Carly denies it.
Speaker 1: My wife denies that she ever said that. You say
Speaker 1: it's true.
Speaker 2: It is true.
Speaker 1: I will one hundred percent tell that story to my
Speaker 1: children when they get older, bragging. I'll be like, look
Speaker 1: at this.
Speaker 2: But your wife is a supermodel.
Speaker 1: So if supermodels were five two and didn't make any
Speaker 1: money modeling, would you say that you love me as
Speaker 1: a brother, as a human?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Have you ever said I love you to me? No,
Speaker 1: do you think that you're allowed to? Do you think
Speaker 1: that we will? What if we just started saying it
Speaker 1: to each other? Do you think do you think Carly
Speaker 1: would think it's weird?
Speaker 2: Probably not.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's play a game of f Mary Kill. You
Speaker 1: know how to play it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay me?
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, m hm.
Speaker 1: Your friend Megan's husband and your friend Jess's husband.
Speaker 2: Ok.
Speaker 1: So it's so it's her, it's her four, it's these
Speaker 1: childhood friends. She's got to play f Mary Kill with
Speaker 1: her her friend's partners.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, Oh no, I would marry you winter winter
Speaker 2: and then kill the rest.
Speaker 1: Look at her trying to take it the easy way out.
Speaker 1: I'll bet you you and uh Megan's husband would have
Speaker 1: a great time in bed. I've since iPhones have allowed tracking,
Speaker 1: I've I've had I've tracked you. Yeah, because I've always
Speaker 1: been like terrified that you were going to be you know, taken. Yes,
Speaker 1: but there is nothing I would be able to do.
Speaker 1: Like if that guy would have got you in the
Speaker 1: South Island in New Zealand, I'd have been like, well,
Speaker 1: I know where she is. I mean, I guess I
Speaker 1: could kill it for I would call authorities.
Speaker 2: It is creepy getting a text from you though, at
Speaker 2: like eleven o'clock at night, being like go home. The
Speaker 2: Lincoln Memorial is so creepy at night, And I'm like, what,
Speaker 2: how do you know where I am?
Speaker 1: You can turn it off, you can disable it. Now
Speaker 1: I have to set up your life for a second. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know, here you go. You knew this was coming.
Speaker 1: So because some people they look at you, they probably say, oh,
Speaker 1: look at that. She's just a charmed life. But you've
Speaker 1: you've had some obstacles in your life. Okay, your mother
Speaker 1: and your father. Your mother, how do I put it nicely?
Speaker 1: She had an addiction problem. Yeah, not right away, not
Speaker 1: right away. No, she was young.
Speaker 2: She was young. She was like twenty okay when she
Speaker 2: had Yeah, she had my sister and I like got
Speaker 2: nineteen and twenty one or something like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, your father was in the picture, not really
Speaker 1: in the picture.
Speaker 2: I think they got divorced when I was like ten
Speaker 2: months old, is I think what my mom is? So
Speaker 2: they were married, they were married? Yeah what my mom
Speaker 2: was a few months pregnant with my sister when they
Speaker 2: got married.
Speaker 1: Oh that old story. Uh, huh. Okay, here's the thing,
Speaker 1: your childhood. I'm sure when you reflect on it is like,
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, this was so ridiculous what I went through.
Speaker 1: What you know, other kids had so such normal families.
Speaker 1: But like Crrently, when she reflects back on your mother,
Speaker 1: she's like, oh, but but we all thought she was
Speaker 1: the fun mom. Yeah, you know, because you would go
Speaker 1: to your house and they would put i don't know,
Speaker 1: shaving cream all over the trampoline. That seems like a
Speaker 1: memory that stood out to my wife.
Speaker 2: Yes, But then like because my mom was a kid herself,
Speaker 2: she would let us like jump off the roof onto
Speaker 2: the trampoline that had soap all over it.
Speaker 1: Okay, so was bad. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean it's like in the moment, it was fun
Speaker 2: and I didn't know anything different, But now it was
Speaker 2: like an adult looking back, like I would never let
Speaker 2: my daughter jump off a roof onto a trampoline with
Speaker 2: soap on.
Speaker 1: It's a bad idea.
Speaker 2: So she like kind of went off crazy in like
Speaker 2: two thousand and two thousand and one.
Speaker 1: She's an alcoholic, she's bipolar.
Speaker 2: She's bipolar. She was kind of got mixed up in
Speaker 2: that like dope sick, opioid crisis. She like ripped a
Speaker 2: rotator cuff and they gave her oxy cotton in like
Speaker 2: two thousand when they were like prescribing it because they
Speaker 2: didn't know how addictive it was. So she was like
Speaker 2: that genre of drug addict.
Speaker 1: Your mother one time, you, I, is this true? You
Speaker 1: were marrying somebody on some mountain. Oh yeah, and your
Speaker 1: mom you had always paid for her, uh to have
Speaker 1: a cell phone or something like that, and she was unhoused.
Speaker 1: She was bouncing around the Southwest, and she found out
Speaker 1: how to get into the account, and she locked you
Speaker 1: out of the account. She ended up purchasing a bunch
Speaker 1: of stuff an iPad got it closed you out of
Speaker 1: your accoun and you just happened to be off grid
Speaker 1: in a mountain and couldn't find your way back, and
Speaker 1: now you were locked out of your phone.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's true.
Speaker 1: Oh that was great. Yeah, that's just a real lesson
Speaker 1: and helping out. Yeah, how'd you break the code?
Speaker 2: I stopped at a Verizon. Like by the time I
Speaker 2: got down the mountain and drove like an hour and
Speaker 2: a half, there was like a Verizon store that I
Speaker 2: went into and I had to show my ID and
Speaker 2: they finally let me back in.
Speaker 1: They turned your phone back on? Did they turn hers off?
Speaker 2: Oh? No?
Speaker 1: So does she still have a phone under your account?
Speaker 2: She doesn't. But I did pay for that iPad for
Speaker 2: like two years.
Speaker 1: Why it seemed like you could have paid it off quicker.
Speaker 2: No no, no, like the monthly service, like the oh.
Speaker 1: For two years she got? Oh she scammed you.
Speaker 2: Good in.
Speaker 1: Verizon. Verizon, come on, man.
Speaker 2: The Verizon in Taos, New Mexico. It was this very
Speaker 2: specific store that was very much like, we can't help you.
Speaker 1: I'm a customer of Verizon and they don't credit you.
Speaker 1: How much do you think all in you paid?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Because the crazy thing was is that
Speaker 2: back then you would call it four one one if
Speaker 2: you needed a phone number.
Speaker 1: I remember information, okay.
Speaker 2: But if you call it now, it's like two ninety nine.
Speaker 2: And because she's like manic, like, she would call it
Speaker 2: like twenty five times in a day, She's calling four
Speaker 2: to one one.
Speaker 1: What number does she need?
Speaker 2: I don't know, but she would call it over and
Speaker 2: over again. So my bills would be crazy high because
Speaker 2: she was calling four one. She didn't know you could
Speaker 2: like google something.
Speaker 1: I just feel like you've got grounds for some type
Speaker 1: of lawsuits or reimbursement to Verizon. I don't think the
Speaker 1: mentally unstable should be able to rack those kind of
Speaker 1: bills up.
Speaker 2: Definitely not.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think we're glossing over how ridiculous your
Speaker 1: childhood was. She did at one point live in a tree.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she did.
Speaker 1: And then again this isn't we're not making light of it.
Speaker 1: How was she living in a tree?
Speaker 2: So, I don't know. I think she that was just
Speaker 2: where she ended up, and that was where she could
Speaker 2: get cells service where she wherever she was like the
Speaker 2: highest point. Yeah, and she would just like call me
Speaker 2: from her tree.
Speaker 1: Also, she also liked one time thought there's bugs coming
Speaker 1: out of her body a lot.
Speaker 2: She still thinks that.
Speaker 1: She thinks there's bugs inside it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's like a side effect of doing math.
Speaker 1: But huh, they don't talk about that on the meth campaigns.
Speaker 1: She had another child. You have a half brother who's
Speaker 1: was illegally blind.
Speaker 2: Yes, you say illegally blind. Legally okay, legally blind blind.
Speaker 2: He's blind. He doesn't have eyes. His eyes are glass.
Speaker 1: He doesn't have eyes, his glass instead of eyes. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't think I knew that, Oh, well, he was
Speaker 2: premature and your eyes are like very underdeveloped when you
Speaker 2: were first born, and so his never developed. And so
Speaker 2: to like make his face be able to develop normally,
Speaker 2: they put in glass eyes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now you guys think, oh, that's got to be
Speaker 1: the interesting thing that you brought up, not even not
Speaker 1: even remotely what I thought was the interesting thing. But
Speaker 1: now that I've learned about these glass eyes. He became
Speaker 1: a figurehead in what church? What religion do you even know?
Speaker 2: Well, they're Catholic, but I don't think it was Catholic.
Speaker 1: Okay, it was. It was just it was just in
Speaker 1: some Christianity, some church. He became a singer as a child.
Speaker 1: And this is when yar is like, what the church
Speaker 1: is so suspect, don't even get Jocelyn started on her beliefs.
Speaker 1: She believes in ghosts. Do you believe in God? Don't answer.
Speaker 1: But he would tour and he would play like arenas, Yeah, singing,
Speaker 1: he wasn't, And it was just people were just like
Speaker 1: why were they fascinated with him as a singer?
Speaker 2: I think because of his story, Like he would tell
Speaker 2: his story of he was born to a drug addict mom,
Speaker 2: he lost his eyesight because he was premature. And then
Speaker 2: he's also autistic. And when kids are autistic, they can
Speaker 2: often sing in perfect pitch.
Speaker 1: Could he sing it perfect pitch? Oh? He could. Here's
Speaker 1: why I think I didn't think. I didn't think it
Speaker 1: was amazing.
Speaker 2: No, But when he was younger, I think it was
Speaker 2: the whole story. It wasn't just his voice, okay.
Speaker 1: Because well you said in perfect pitch and I was
Speaker 1: always like, I don't think this is perfect. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you're saying. But now he's kind of aged out of that,
Speaker 1: and does he perform still or No?
Speaker 2: I don't think he still does like motivational speaking, okay,
Speaker 2: and like telling his story and but no, I don't
Speaker 2: think he sings it.
Speaker 1: I feel like the church and this is just me
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm you know, I'm super hypocritical of the
Speaker 1: church a lot of times, but I feel like they
Speaker 1: were kind of using a kid.
Speaker 2: It was a good story. It's sold. I know that
Speaker 2: millions of views and that.
Speaker 1: I mean the kid was popular. Guys like it was.
Speaker 1: It was off the charts type of stuff. Did you
Speaker 1: feel drawn to this profession because of your childhood.
Speaker 2: Probably a little bit like growing up Carly and I
Speaker 2: would actually we had this like plan that we were
Speaker 2: going to be an obstetrician and a pediatrician and one
Speaker 2: was going to deliver the babies and the other one
Speaker 2: was going to take care of them. And then once
Speaker 2: Christopher was born, it like opened up this whole world
Speaker 2: of like, oh, babies actually can be born sick and
Speaker 2: early and not on time. I'm not healthy. And then
Speaker 2: that's what kind of like introduced me to the nick you.
Speaker 2: I didn't know it existed actually before then.
Speaker 1: And then there was just just that's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: It's pretty neat to have a clear vision of what
Speaker 1: you want to do with your life. Yeah, that's the
Speaker 1: only thing in your life that's just completely focused.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: The rest of it just mm hmmmm. Yep. Do you
Speaker 1: brag to your friends who don't live in Hollywood about
Speaker 1: the time you slept on a pie at Leonardo DiCaprio's house. I? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Have you ever told that story to any of your
Speaker 1: your friends?
Speaker 2: No? I don't think people would believe me. If I okay.
Speaker 1: To be there, I'll tell you the story. You ready
Speaker 1: for this? I rented Leonard. I've rented it multiple times.
Speaker 1: Leonardo DiCaprio has an income property that he uses occasionally.
Speaker 1: Got to pick a ball court in Palm Springs And
Speaker 1: one morning, you know, she's in this house. We're all
Speaker 1: in this house. And one morning I see her. I said, hey,
Speaker 1: did you enjoy that slice of pie I gave you
Speaker 1: last night? And she's like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: And I go, I put a slice of pie under
Speaker 1: your pillow, you know, as you would do. Yeah, pie pillow.
Speaker 2: It was still in the pie container though, No, no
Speaker 2: it wasn't.
Speaker 1: It was on a plate. You're wrong, revisionist history. Really
Speaker 1: it was on a plate. I put a plate with
Speaker 1: a slice of pie. There's a plateless and I put
Speaker 1: your pillow on top of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So she's like, no, you didn't, And I go, Jocely,
Speaker 1: I fucking put a slice of pie under your pillow.
Speaker 1: What in the did you? Then I thought maybe she
Speaker 1: slept in a different room. We go to her room.
Speaker 1: It smells like fucking pie. As soon as you open
Speaker 1: the door, it smells like pie. And I lift the
Speaker 1: pillow up. She she sleeps. Literally, this person doesn't pee
Speaker 1: because she doesn't move just perfectly, still doesn't put her
Speaker 1: hands under the pillow and there's a perfectly smushed pie
Speaker 1: under her pillow. What kind of pie? I don't fucking remember.
Speaker 1: It was pumpkin. It was pumpkin because I hate pumpkin,
Speaker 1: and I did nobody ate it. And she probably made
Speaker 1: me order it in the first place for Thanksgiving. It
Speaker 1: was for Thanksgiving?
Speaker 2: Were there?
Speaker 1: That reminds me of another time? Go ahead, I was.
Speaker 2: Singing a different pie.
Speaker 1: Oh, one time she baked me a pie. It was
Speaker 1: like a fruit cobbler.
Speaker 2: Did strawberry rubber.
Speaker 1: Strawberry rubarbie. You did your own crust. It was delicious.
Speaker 1: It was for the Fourth of July. And this was
Speaker 1: back when Twitter wasn't run by that dipshit. And I
Speaker 1: posted a photo of you holding my pie and wrote
Speaker 1: something stupid underneath.
Speaker 2: It and embarrassing, embarrassing.
Speaker 1: I was trying to find you a man. You were
Speaker 1: always manless. It was just so depressing h anyway, But
Speaker 1: I never wanted you to have a man, because it
Speaker 1: was like you were our throupple. It's always fun to
Speaker 1: travel with you because it was like just me and
Speaker 1: my wife and you and and everything. By having kids
Speaker 1: and you having a partner. Now you were in a
Speaker 1: hospital working in Seattle, No, in La. I was in
Speaker 1: it was La.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was on a travel assignment.
Speaker 1: Okay, I thought it was Seattle, No.
Speaker 2: Because it was like the next night, like it was
Speaker 2: fourth of July. And then the next night I went
Speaker 2: back to work and my parents of my patient, who
Speaker 2: were like very shy and like sort of embarrassed to
Speaker 2: ask me, They were like, is this you? And they
Speaker 2: brought up this embarrassing photo that you had tweeted of
Speaker 2: me holding a pie and like a bathing suit top
Speaker 2: and all these horrible comments under it about like what
Speaker 2: people wanted to poke in my pie?
Speaker 1: And that's delightful. Well, that's that's good that they followed
Speaker 1: me back then.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were excited.
Speaker 1: But oh, man, do you remember the time I filled
Speaker 1: your suitcase with shrimp scampy? She was leaving my house. Yes,
Speaker 1: she was leaving Tahoe. And before she left, I had
Speaker 1: taken her suitcase, which is always just the biggest suitcase
Speaker 1: you've ever seen. It's just you know, at the seam,
Speaker 1: zipper rip it whatever. I just and it had a
Speaker 1: lot of pockets hidden there. So I just individually ran
Speaker 1: wrapped a couple dozen shrimp scampies. Yeah, and placed them
Speaker 1: like in her geen pocket, in a in the bottom
Speaker 1: of a shoe in And then I unzipped the lining
Speaker 1: of the of the suitcase and put some scampy inside
Speaker 1: there and zipped it back, just tons of scampy. So,
Speaker 1: because I wanted this joke to play out over time,
Speaker 1: it did.
Speaker 2: Like months months we started finding them, like in line
Speaker 2: to check in our bag, our shrimp scammy bag. But
Speaker 2: then like six months later, I still found one rogue
Speaker 2: shrimp scammy when I went to use that suitcase again.
Speaker 1: Did you eat it?
Speaker 2: No? It smelled horrible.
Speaker 1: Do you keep the luggage?
Speaker 2: No? I don't think. No, I don't have that SUITCA.
Speaker 1: That is that is good stuff. You can't beat the
Speaker 1: old shrimp scampy gag.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's pretty good.
Speaker 1: This is exciting a Toss Show first, Okay, you guys
Speaker 1: ready for this? Eddie? Just go? Do you wanna? Do
Speaker 1: you wanna? You want to hit me with a drum
Speaker 1: roll or something? Okay? What do you? What's what's new
Speaker 1: in your world? Right now?
Speaker 2: We're expecting number two.
Speaker 1: Doctor Joscelyn is pregnant right now with her second child.
Speaker 1: It's a first on the Toss Show. An exclusive this
Speaker 1: is where you want to announce it. Now, don't tell anyone, okay,
Speaker 1: and just let us air this and just wait for
Speaker 1: all the love to come pouring it. Are you as
Speaker 1: excited as I am? Am I more excited.
Speaker 2: I'm way more excited.
Speaker 1: I couldn't be more excited. An amazing mother. You're gonna
Speaker 1: it's gonna be so good. And you know what else
Speaker 1: is gonna be. It's gonna be so fun for your
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, that's so great. I couldn't be happier.
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be the best thing in the world.
Speaker 1: This one's gonna be so much easier.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Are you excited about being pregnant?
Speaker 2: No, you're not. No Ah, My first pregnancy was horrible.
Speaker 1: Ah, but we still had fun.
Speaker 2: We did.
Speaker 1: You came up, You came up to tower right away.
Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, yeah, it start out back. This one
Speaker 1: just nothing but good signs. Okay, I can't imagine anything
Speaker 1: bad happens. We're gonna have to re edit this fucking
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that you're having another child. Not for
Speaker 1: a few reasons. One of the reasons I'm so excited
Speaker 1: is because you my daughter, Okay, my beautiful daughter, I
Speaker 1: have spent maybe six dollars on clothes for her. And
Speaker 1: the reason I've only spent six dollars is because you
Speaker 1: you spend so much, You buy so much clothes for
Speaker 1: your daughter, and then you say it to us once
Speaker 1: she outgrows it, and then I give it on to
Speaker 1: other people whenever we whenever we can. But now I'm
Speaker 1: going to get to give it all back to you.
Speaker 1: And there's just I mean, it's crazy how much stuff
Speaker 1: you buy.
Speaker 2: I've cut back.
Speaker 1: You buy every color that it. You know, I'll get
Speaker 1: into that in a minute, but you do you buy
Speaker 1: the same thing though, I'll look at it. Oh, there's
Speaker 1: five of these. I just the other day got something
Speaker 1: from you where you had sent four or five new
Speaker 1: sets of pajamas.
Speaker 2: Oh that was.
Speaker 1: And why and.
Speaker 2: Because, you know, because when I ordered that Cecily story.
Speaker 2: But when I ordered the pajamas, they got lost. So
Speaker 2: the company sent me a whole new order and then said,
Speaker 2: if your other order shows up, pass it along to someone. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: so that was.
Speaker 1: So you bought six pair, you got six pair, and
Speaker 1: then another six showed up and you sent them on
Speaker 1: to us. Oh, well, that makes a little more sense.
Speaker 1: It's just all the time. I'm just like, every time
Speaker 1: a box comes from you, I'm just like, God, damn it.
Speaker 1: Why does there so much clothes? What does your daughter's
Speaker 1: closet look like?
Speaker 2: There's not a lot in it? Really, Yeah, I give
Speaker 2: it all away, Okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean it's just at some point it
Speaker 1: has to be filled, has be gridlocked. Everybody's on the
Speaker 1: show gets gifts. Now. One of your gifts is I'm
Speaker 1: so excited about this because, oh, this is only we'll
Speaker 1: see how I can use this.
Speaker 2: Every week I watch you just like give away everything
Speaker 2: I gave to you.
Speaker 1: That is hysterical, so Jocelyn. Multiple times on this show,
Speaker 1: the gifts that I've given away have been gifts that
Speaker 1: she gave me. The first thing I'm gonna give you
Speaker 1: back this was bought for you. Yes, okay, my wife
Speaker 1: and her friends went together and I'm told that this
Speaker 1: is very expensive, yes, like five hundred dollars, and then
Speaker 1: you gave it to us. Yes, and I'm giving.
Speaker 2: It back to you.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is going to be great. Are you excited
Speaker 1: to use it again?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: By the way, we didn't use this one that much,
Speaker 1: did I liked another one?
Speaker 2: It was super comfy, though.
Speaker 1: I didn't like it. It's also looks that stupid logo
Speaker 1: I hated it. Is that? Is that a fancy brand?
Speaker 1: What's it called?
Speaker 2: I think it's pronounced.
Speaker 1: Give us free ship? All right, so that's yours again.
Speaker 1: This is Carle's she liked it, Yes, and inside there.
Speaker 1: Watch look at this. I think it's I think I
Speaker 1: saw this this morning. I just look at this Target.
Speaker 2: Gift card perfect, Okay, Okay.
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's any money on it or not.
Speaker 1: But this is in my closet. This is, you know,
Speaker 1: a new baby bag. There might be a pacifier in there,
Speaker 1: who knows. Okay, Okay, Now when I get to regive
Speaker 1: all your clothes, I want you to when we find
Speaker 1: out the gender of your baby.
Speaker 2: I don't want to find out you don't. Eric does, well,
Speaker 2: of course he does.
Speaker 1: That's normal.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, when we find out if it's the day that
Speaker 1: they are born, uh, you know, if it's a girl,
Speaker 1: I am going to unload hell on you. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna send everything. I just want to give an example.
Speaker 1: By the way, I got some stuff in here. I
Speaker 1: want to this is a real bad outfit here for
Speaker 1: for Eric. I want him to wear this. It's it's
Speaker 1: it's James purse. But it's matching pants and shirt. It's bad.
Speaker 2: Nice, it looks awful.
Speaker 1: But make him wear that. And there's a shirt for him.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks, Okay, but this is what This is just
Speaker 1: a I want people when I say I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: her trunks full of clothes bag, this is the thing.
Speaker 1: Everything that she would give us tonally is brown's. You
Speaker 1: only wanted your daughter to ever be in like muted
Speaker 1: brown color. Why is that?
Speaker 2: I don't know, but she was kind of delayed in
Speaker 2: learning her colors, and I always thought it was because
Speaker 2: I didn't put her in like any primary colors.
Speaker 1: Every rainbow that you give is like a shade of
Speaker 1: brown rainbows.
Speaker 2: Confused.
Speaker 1: Okay, so here you get these. Let's just let's do
Speaker 1: you want what would you want for what sex? Boy
Speaker 1: or girl? I don't hunt, you have no preference.
Speaker 2: No, just healthy, just good for you.
Speaker 1: You get it, And I say, I'm never that way.
Speaker 1: I've always like, I just wanted a healthy girl and
Speaker 1: then I got a healthy boy. Kind of kind of all.
Speaker 2: Right, okay, thank.
Speaker 1: You, hold on so much more stuff? Okay, this, oh
Speaker 1: this because you travel so much dumb ship. This is
Speaker 1: a travel rail okay to put on a bed.
Speaker 2: Perfect for your girl she needs.
Speaker 1: Now, yes, exactly. So Now when we travel this week,
Speaker 1: she won't fall out because I have different things that
Speaker 1: I use. Also, I don't give a fuck if my
Speaker 1: kid falls out anymore. I'm like, just hit your head, buddy.
Speaker 2: She fell out of the bed last night. Actually, no,
Speaker 2: you go.
Speaker 1: Now, you got this. I use this on tour, on
Speaker 1: the tour buses all the time. Okay, that's it. Okay, now,
Speaker 1: so excited are you excited for? You excited for the best,
Speaker 1: the best one of my regifts? Okay, So I have
Speaker 1: already uh finished Christmas shopping for my wife. Do I
Speaker 1: buy my wife good gifts?
Speaker 2: Very good gifts?
Speaker 1: Good? Yeah, I'm a good gift gift Okay, so I
Speaker 1: got them wrapped. I'm like, well, guess what, because you
Speaker 1: were gonna be on the show, I'm like, this is hysterical.
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you one of the gifts that
Speaker 1: I had just bought my wife that she hasn't even
Speaker 1: opened yet.
Speaker 2: Right, that's super exciting. Now, oh.
Speaker 1: You know that brand? Look at that Oh are you
Speaker 1: so excited? Go ahead open that gift up see if
Speaker 1: you liked it. That just scratched. How did a bag
Speaker 1: scratch the table? It doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm o. Winning is really awkward because I was trying.
Speaker 1: To me about with you get it the box out.
Speaker 1: Oh look at this Saint Laurent box.
Speaker 2: Okay, but what's in it for real scampy? Yeah, probably
Speaker 2: Saint Lawn jacket.
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid to put. I'm not afraid to put
Speaker 1: scampy in Saint Laurn.
Speaker 2: It's actually in it.
Speaker 1: Oh, there's so many boxes and bags when you get
Speaker 1: a Saint Laurn.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, No, I know it's an actual bag.
Speaker 1: I know. Well, wait, you need here's my thing. You
Speaker 1: need a big tote for the for the new one,
Speaker 1: and and nothing better than like a sexy, cute one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1: No, it is, and it's the It's the it bag
Speaker 1: right now, is what Carrie told me. Oh really, Carrie's like,
Speaker 1: this is the it bag. Oh man, are you so
Speaker 1: excited now? You're you're excited for your baby. By the way,
Speaker 1: You're not even gonna take care of it. You're gonna
Speaker 1: fill it full of your dumb fucking granola bars that
Speaker 1: you eat at work and there's diapers and swaddles, and
Speaker 1: I'll get that off of this. Look at that bag,
Speaker 1: you guys, Oh, my wife is gonna be fucking furious.
Speaker 2: Well, she'll be excited if you decide to go in
Speaker 2: the same direction for her.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean I think she could. She'll
Speaker 1: be like, wit, well that was supposed to be for me,
Speaker 1: And now I got all the fucking Look at Joscelyn
Speaker 1: with it.
Speaker 2: It smells like real other I don't, I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it is. You're gonna just keep it on.
Speaker 1: Jesus loves it is. Eric gonna be upset with me
Speaker 1: now He's like, well, what the fuck? But you have
Speaker 1: to say let him know this is this is a
Speaker 1: big podcast budget show. We could afford these kind of things.
Speaker 1: How many guests now now when girls are on this show,
Speaker 1: they're gonna be where the fuck is my Saint Laurent back?
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna be like, listen, you're not saving children's
Speaker 1: lives every day like doctor Joscelyn. I mean, out of
Speaker 1: all of her friends, I probably have the most love
Speaker 1: for you because and some of her friends, especially her
Speaker 1: new friends, her new Malibu friends, some of her friends.
Speaker 1: You know no issue some of them. You're like people
Speaker 1: always think that, like California is such a bubble. It's
Speaker 1: like Malibu's is a weird bubble the other direction.
Speaker 2: I don't know that it is, all right, Jocelyn, I
Speaker 2: love you.
Speaker 1: I don't love you anymore. Disgusting Casha, Hey, thank you,
Speaker 1: doctor Jocelyn. What a delight. And guess what. My wife
Speaker 1: is furious that I gave the gift away. Ah, that's
Speaker 1: what I wanted. I wanted it to, you know, be funny.
Speaker 1: And she was mad. She was like, are you are
Speaker 1: you kidding me? Turns out it would have been a
Speaker 1: good gift for my wife. Turns turns out she would
Speaker 1: have loved it. Guess what, Jocen's not giving it up.
Speaker 1: That's what I like. All Right, let's do our segment ready, Buddy,
Speaker 1: Hello from Toss Show. That's where we say hello to
Speaker 1: one of our subscribers. Now this week we are saying
Speaker 1: hi to Lorna in Savannah. Now she's not a subscriber,
Speaker 1: but her husband, Carl. He's a big fan Carl. His
Speaker 1: name's Carl, but he spells his with a K. You
Speaker 1: spell yours with a C. Okay, you don't care anyway,
Speaker 1: he's just hoping that this shotout will make his wife
Speaker 1: Lorna get on the Tosh train. Well, Laurna, I've never
Speaker 1: said that word before. You ever said you know anybody
Speaker 1: named Laurna? No, Lorna's I've never met a Lorna. I'm
Speaker 1: excited now, Laura. We hope you, We hope you come aboard.
Speaker 1: I don't know Lorna. Laurna and Carl, that's that sounds
Speaker 1: like a real Georgia couple. We gotta do some plugs.
Speaker 1: Tossshowstore dot com. Get some of that sweet Toss Show merch.
Speaker 1: There you go, Carl, Welcome back, ADDIE's Tour, Daniel's Tour.
Speaker 1: Check out our dates. This week it's free plug. Let's
Speaker 1: go hit the free plug music. That's just some vintage
Speaker 1: library rock music right there. This week's free plug. Believe
Speaker 1: it or not, we're doing bowling again.
Speaker 2: Nice.
Speaker 1: I've never I've never seen a bowling commercial in my
Speaker 1: life here on Toss Show. This is the second time
Speaker 1: we've plugged bowling. All right. It's in beautiful Pacifica, California
Speaker 1: for the dry January Sober social. Oh that just rolls
Speaker 1: off the tongue. Too dry. No, alcohol. Nothing better than
Speaker 1: bowling and sobriety. It's a substance free gathering. It's designed
Speaker 1: for those committed to staying sober throughout the month the month.
Speaker 1: I never get why people do things for one month
Speaker 1: and then they're back. What a weird increment of time. Anyway,
Speaker 1: they are offering a refreshing way to connect with others
Speaker 1: who are taking the Dry January pledge? Is that a thing?
Speaker 1: People aren't drinking in January? That's the thing? Is that
Speaker 1: just like a New Year's thing? And then you realize,
Speaker 1: oh well, no, wonder this month is so depressing. We've
Speaker 1: been sober the whole time. It join us for dinner
Speaker 1: and bowling. Okay, so they're gonna have dinner. Oh man,
Speaker 1: what's that meal? What's that meal gonna be? Anyway, it's
Speaker 1: a Dry January Sober social bowling plus dinner, January twenty fourth,
Speaker 1: from six to nine pm. How many How many frames
Speaker 1: can you bowl in a three hour window? Sixty? What?
Speaker 2: Three hours?
Speaker 1: At least? Nine? Wait? Is frames a game? O?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: I'm going to complete games? Nine would be ninety frames? Right? No? Okay?
Speaker 1: How many games?
Speaker 2: I would say nine?
Speaker 1: Ye. I've never bowled more than two games in my life.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine wanting to go continue to keep bowling.
Speaker 2: Three hours is a lot long.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't even care about the time. I just meant.
Speaker 1: I was just referring to nine games, all right, Anyway,
Speaker 1: more information, visit Stanford Beers, no Peers that'd be weird
Speaker 1: Stanford Peers, or sober underscored Stanford. See you next week.