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Speaker 1: H buckle up, hold on tight, we got it four

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Speaker 1: year hibbertes the Strawberry Letta. We can be reading yours

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Speaker 1: just like we're reading this one subject. You can't hide

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Speaker 1: a beautiful body. Dear Stephen Shirley, I am a thirty

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Speaker 1: year old single woman without any children, and I've been

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Speaker 1: dating a forty one year old man that has three

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Speaker 1: young daughters. We've been together for five months, and all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden, he does not approve of how I dress.

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Speaker 1: He told me that I dress as if I want

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Speaker 1: attention from other men, and not like a wholesome woman.

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Speaker 1: I am a full time legal assistant at a popular

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Speaker 1: law firm, and I take law classes at night. At work,

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Speaker 1: I'm in heels and pencil skirts, and on the weekend,

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Speaker 1: I dress for whatever the occasion is, and it's my

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Speaker 1: own personal style. I have a beautiful curvy body, and

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Speaker 1: at my age, I don't see the problem with me

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Speaker 1: wearing a top that shows a little stomach or a

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Speaker 1: dress that shows off my curve. He didn't have a

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Speaker 1: problem with how I dress when he met me, but

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Speaker 1: now he has been talking about it NonStop. I recently

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Speaker 1: met his daughters and I was dressed appropriately in jeans

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Speaker 1: and a sweatshirt. He still said that I need to

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Speaker 1: do a better I need to do better at presenting

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Speaker 1: myself in a more wholesome manner when he met. When

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Speaker 1: he and I met, it was not wholesome. So why

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Speaker 1: does he want me to seem wholesome now? I never

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Speaker 1: intended to be a role model for his children. He

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Speaker 1: says he wants me to be more like his friend's wife.

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Speaker 1: And that's all fine and good if I were an older,

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Speaker 1: stay at home mom, but I'm not. Why is he

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Speaker 1: bringing this up now and trying to change me. I'm

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Speaker 1: at the point where I want to settle down and

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Speaker 1: he could be the one, but obviously I'm not the

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Speaker 1: woman he really wants. Could this be a deal breaker?

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Speaker 1: Please advise? Well, you know what, It depends on how

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Speaker 1: you look at it. It could be a deal breaker

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Speaker 1: if he's like this controlling dude you know that wants

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Speaker 1: to tell you how to dress and you know, compare

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Speaker 1: you to other women like he's doing in this letter

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Speaker 1: all of that. It could be that, or it could

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Speaker 1: be he's considering you for a little more serious role

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Speaker 1: in his life. Because I don't understand why he would

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Speaker 1: even be concerned about how you're dressing. If you're not

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Speaker 1: dressing like, you know, a stripper or something in front

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Speaker 1: of his friends and daughters. Dressing for him in private

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Speaker 1: is one thing, but there is something to be said

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Speaker 1: about appropriate dress in front of others, especially young impressionable girls.

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Speaker 1: I'll give him that. Although you said you were dressed

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Speaker 1: properly when you met his daughters in jeans and a sweatshirt,

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Speaker 1: you didn't say that your tummy was out. You didn't

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Speaker 1: say any of that. I mean, this guy does sound

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Speaker 1: control and he does sound bossy after only five months in.

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Speaker 1: And remember what he's doing now, how he's talking to you. Now,

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Speaker 1: you guys haven't even made the six month mark. That's

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Speaker 1: how it's going to be in a relationship and into

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Speaker 1: a marriage. So you're gonna have to decide if that's

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Speaker 1: what you want. I mean, you have your own personal style,

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Speaker 1: and you said you don't see any thing wrong. I

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Speaker 1: mean that's what's fashionable. Crop tops are fashionable, Uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: as long as you're surely had on one in the

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Speaker 1: dr at all at all. I mean, you could do

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Speaker 1: things tastefully. But we were at the beach. Can we

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Speaker 1: just say that, Steve, we were we were. It was

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Speaker 1: a swim party and everything. We weren't had no beach.

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Speaker 1: We was on the inside in the auditorium. But when

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Speaker 1: I saw you, I don't know where you came from

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Speaker 1: from the beach, didn't look like didn't have on that anyway,

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Speaker 1: back to the letter, you can't hide a beautiful body

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Speaker 1: as the subject. So you know, even though you never

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Speaker 1: intended to be a role model for his children, sometimes

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Speaker 1: we're thrust in those positions. You know, you're dating this

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Speaker 1: guy and he does have daughters, so you have to

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Speaker 1: consider that when you are around them, you're you're You're

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Speaker 1: not there um their mom or anything, but they are.

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Speaker 1: If you're around their dead, they are looking to you

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Speaker 1: for certain things. So you know, I'm not telling you

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Speaker 1: to cover up and dress like a nun from head

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Speaker 1: to tour or anything like that, but be mindful, especially

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Speaker 1: around the daughters, of how you're presenting yourself. You know,

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Speaker 1: just do that for their sake. Okay, come out of

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Speaker 1: yourself for a little bit and just do that for

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Speaker 1: their sake. As far as you and this guy goes,

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Speaker 1: time will only tell. If he continues to be controlling.

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Speaker 1: He sounds like a nagger and all that already. But

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Speaker 1: you got to decide if you want to deal with that,

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Speaker 1: because it's not gonna get any better. And yeah, when

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Speaker 1: you're fine and beautiful, you can't hide it, you cannot

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Speaker 1: steve let it out. Well, this is a real simple

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Speaker 1: fix right here. Appreciate everything you said, Sherley. Here's the

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Speaker 1: other side of the coin. Thank you. See the way

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Speaker 1: you dress, that's how you got him. The way you look,

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Speaker 1: that's how you got him. See he liked all that

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Speaker 1: when he saw you. That's what got his attention. You

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Speaker 1: had what he wanted. That's why y'all together Now, the

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Speaker 1: little pencil skirts, the tight fit, the crop tops to

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Speaker 1: cleave it showing, the wrap skirts, the fitted sweater, y'all

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Speaker 1: go out on weekends, you dress how you want. Bam,

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Speaker 1: that's what got it. But now he want to change you. Well,

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Speaker 1: see the problem he got now is he probably need

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Speaker 1: a nun. He needed to date somebody that's a little

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Speaker 1: bit different than you. And I'm gonna tell you why.

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Speaker 1: Here's I'm first I'm gonna get into this right here.

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Speaker 1: You thirty and he forty one. That's eleven years. That's

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Speaker 1: a gap. That's a gap, and it's a real gap.

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Speaker 1: When it's more than an eleven year distance. Eleven year difference,

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Speaker 1: it's probably more because he's probably an older forty one,

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Speaker 1: if you know what I mean, he probably an old

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Speaker 1: stuck up forty one. Then you might just be a

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Speaker 1: little bit younger thirty. But you're a lawyer, you work

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Speaker 1: at a law firm, you got a career. You gotta

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Speaker 1: go to work appropriate. You can't go in there looking

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Speaker 1: like anything like like like like you know, you can't

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Speaker 1: go to work looking like you a case. So I

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Speaker 1: think you and you're okay right there. I think what's

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Speaker 1: really happening here is this eleven year age difference is

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Speaker 1: bigger than eleven years because in his mind he wants

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Speaker 1: something else. He wants something else from you now and

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Speaker 1: now he trying to shape you like that because he

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Speaker 1: turned around and said it. He wants you to dress

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Speaker 1: like his friend's wife. And you said that, bene if

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Speaker 1: he was a forty some years stay at home mother.

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Speaker 1: But you ain't got no kids, don't. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what he wants, but you all have to decide it's

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Speaker 1: what you want from hire worth giving him what he

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Speaker 1: wants from you. All right, We'll come back with part

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Speaker 1: two of your response, you can't hide a beautiful body. Well,

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Speaker 1: this thirty year old lady married his old as forty

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Speaker 1: one year old man with these three damned daughters that

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Speaker 1: she ain't got no kids. They've been together five months

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Speaker 1: and he don't approve now how she dressed. You know,

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Speaker 1: he says you dressed like he want attention from other men.

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Speaker 1: See that's crazy, because see you dressed got attention from him.

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Speaker 1: Now that he got you, he don't want nobody else

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Speaker 1: paying attention to you. This is the beginning of something greater. Now,

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Speaker 1: I really do believe that this dressing is the beginning

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Speaker 1: of something greater. And like Shirley said, he could be

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Speaker 1: very controlled. Next thing, you know, you can't whear it is.

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Speaker 1: Next thing, you know why you're going over there, And

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Speaker 1: next thing, you know why you're spending that. Next thing,

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't want you driving that car no more.

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Speaker 1: Next thing you know you ain't gonna hand no friends.

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Speaker 1: I don't see a problem with me man or top

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Speaker 1: to show a little stomach, or a dress that shows

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Speaker 1: off my courage. He didn't have a problem with you

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Speaker 1: dress how he met me. You don't gonna write it didn't.

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Speaker 1: But now I've been talking about a NonStop that's called

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Speaker 1: some of his damn friends is looking at you. See now,

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Speaker 1: he's starting to notice some of the other men looking

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Speaker 1: at you. Now. He's feeling sort of inadequate. You know,

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Speaker 1: I don't want you to do this. I don't want

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Speaker 1: you to He's feeling some little little bit of insecurity too.

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Speaker 1: I think I recently met his daughters, and I was

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Speaker 1: dressed appropriately in jeans and a sweatshirt. He still said,

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Speaker 1: I need to do a better presenting myself in a

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Speaker 1: more wholesome matter. What the helling wholesome? That's what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: covered up from head to tell. So why you want

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Speaker 1: me to seem soome? Now? I never tend to be

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Speaker 1: a role model for his children. Okay, now let me

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Speaker 1: explain some You can't say that. I can't say that

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Speaker 1: to him, man, I ain't trying to be no damn

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Speaker 1: role model for your damn kids. I can't say that.

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Speaker 1: I don't say that, lady. He ain't gonna handle that good,

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Speaker 1: all right? He says he wants me to be more

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Speaker 1: like his friend's wife, and that's all finally, good, Well,

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Speaker 1: he should marry his friend's wife. He should just go

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Speaker 1: dates one of his one, have his friend's wife introduce

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Speaker 1: him to some of her friends. They all three kids,

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Speaker 1: stay at home, mom, Yeah, drive a minute van. It all,

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Speaker 1: it's all good. Ain't nothing wrong with that. But you're

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Speaker 1: gonna get out, this little fan says, call you guy,

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Speaker 1: You're gonna get yourself a minute van. Get down here

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Speaker 1: to this day. I'm save a lot and get you

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Speaker 1: damn groceries. Wow, that's what you're gonna do. Why is

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Speaker 1: he bringing us up now and trying to change me.

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Speaker 1: I'm at the point why I want to settle down

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Speaker 1: and he could be the one, but obviously I'm not

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Speaker 1: the woman he really wants. Well, now, hold on, let's

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Speaker 1: just take these last two statements. I'm at the point

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Speaker 1: where I'm ready to settle down and he could be

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Speaker 1: the one, could be the one, and but obviously I'm

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Speaker 1: not the woman he really wants. Okay, he could be

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Speaker 1: the one, but obviously I'm not the woman he really wants.

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Speaker 1: Could this be a deal breaker? It could be a

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Speaker 1: deal breaker. I think what you should do, though, is

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Speaker 1: wait a little while and just see how it goes,

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Speaker 1: you know, don't make a commitment, Just stay in this

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Speaker 1: relationship and see how I go, see how heavy he

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Speaker 1: gets with what he want. You know, you know some

189
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Speaker 1: of the little changes you can make in your dress

190
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Speaker 1: might be good for you, but then some of it

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Speaker 1: might not be what you want to do. You can't

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Speaker 1: just totally flip the script for this man and he

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Speaker 1: ain't flipping the script for you. I will flip the

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Speaker 1: script for a woman if she flipped the script for me.

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Speaker 1: This As long as I get flipped, that's all. Flip me, stupid,

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Speaker 1: got to get flipped. Yeah, you don't when they want

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Speaker 1: my woman flipping you. That's what j J J. The

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Speaker 1: woman he used to date big slid. It ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: go like you playing no no, no, no no no j

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Speaker 1: that's how he liked it. You ain't been flipped, boy, No,

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Speaker 1: I don't either. I can't how come out facing the head. Boy,

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Speaker 1: that's not a good feeling. I don't know what you're

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Speaker 1: doing when you flip me. First thing coming out? What

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Speaker 1: is going? WHOA? What were you doing here? Calling? Calling

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Speaker 1: sexual time out? It's too hard. Can't flip me because

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Speaker 1: usually when you getting flipped, it's followed by shut up.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, we mean about say soon as your respect

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Speaker 1: is taken? No, man, you're not gonna talk to me

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Speaker 1: like that. No, no, no, no. If you keep getting flipped,

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Speaker 1: it follows up with a slap. Oh man, this is

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Speaker 1: this is scary. Yeah, you know now that you look

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Speaker 1: at it, Tommy. As I was doing light flipping, this

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Speaker 1: is aggressive flipping. Also, once you get flipped, Once you

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Speaker 1: get flipped, you get this baby, fix my plate, fix

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Speaker 1: your damn I don't place, I can't get a sandwich.

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Speaker 1: I can't get the sandwich. You're gonna lead the covers

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Speaker 1: off me like that? This right? Yeah, yeah, you get flipped. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: take your flip back, Tommy, m yeah. Yeah. But Steve,

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Speaker 1: it seems like he's getting progressively worse though they've only

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Speaker 1: been together for five months, and he keeps bugging her

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Speaker 1: and nagging her about this. I mean, you know it's

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Speaker 1: the beginning of something. Yeah, yeah, and it's happening now.

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Speaker 1: Controlling is not fun m hm. And this is five

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Speaker 1: just five months. If yeah, they're in a full fledged relationship,

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Speaker 1: and this is how he is. If he's controlled and

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Speaker 1: you have nothing to say, it's just gonna just remember

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Speaker 1: this old saying right here, ain't no fun. When the

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Speaker 1: rabbit got the gun. M h. A dear. All right, look,

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Speaker 1: we gotta go. Email us or Instagram us guys. Uh,

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Speaker 1: your your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: f M. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.