Speaker 1: Hey, hey, Hey, we're back. We're black, We're book Brown Ambition. Hey,
Speaker 1: the dream Girls Ambition, Ambition, Ambition. Hey hey, Manada, how
Speaker 1: are you? Hey?
Speaker 2: Good to see your pretty face on this your Tuesday morning.
Speaker 2: It's it's different doing Brown Ambition at ten am versus
Speaker 2: usually recorded in the afternoon. You know. So we shook
Speaker 2: it up this week, and I'm like, you.
Speaker 1: Don't get this morning energy, which is not. First of all,
Speaker 1: I love the way the tips of your hair match
Speaker 1: your shirt. That looks really cute.
Speaker 2: Thank you. I'm trying to hide the fact that I
Speaker 2: haven't done touch ups on these highlights and over a
Speaker 2: year because I'm.
Speaker 1: Too cheap, lazy. Look, it's giving what the girls are
Speaker 1: doing now. I love the.
Speaker 2: Color, you know, a little ombray, a little fall hughes.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: So both of us have been traveling a bit, starting
Speaker 2: to get back in these streets doing stuff. I went
Speaker 2: to for the Congressional Black Caucus for the I had
Speaker 2: never been before.
Speaker 1: Yeah me either. It was dope.
Speaker 2: It was like a real quick in and out, but
Speaker 2: it was magical. I mean, I got to moderate this
Speaker 2: panel for this organization called the Black Women's Health Imperative.
Speaker 2: They're like the oldest nonprofit in the country that focuses
Speaker 2: only on exclusively on Black women's health. And I thought
Speaker 2: it was such a cool opportunity because they're actually creating
Speaker 2: this whole framework called the Fair Work Initiative, which is
Speaker 2: basically like, if you work for a company and you
Speaker 2: feel like they are just doing the least when it
Speaker 2: comes to actually creating like a least a less hostile
Speaker 2: environment for Black women to work, and you want to
Speaker 2: just like give them a nudge in the right direction,
Speaker 2: you can send them to the Fair Work Initiative website
Speaker 2: and it's a database that like they basically partner with
Speaker 2: organizations to analyze the way that they operate, what resources
Speaker 2: they have, the happiness, the engagement in Black women, and
Speaker 2: can then give them tools and resources to actually fix things.
Speaker 2: So yeah, So this panel, it had Angela Rye had
Speaker 2: the United Way, and had Charlene Wheels, who's this executive
Speaker 2: leadership coach. I had Adua Asamoa Asamosa. She is one
Speaker 2: of the co founders of the Crown Act. She was
Speaker 2: on the panel. It was cool and I had never
Speaker 2: moderated a panel before. I got great feedback. It was fun,
Speaker 2: but I you know, like you compartmentalize things. And in
Speaker 2: order to like even get myself to a place where
Speaker 2: I could show up in DC, I had that big
Speaker 2: negotiating masterclass that I was doing and I just had
Speaker 2: to focus all my energy on that, so I didn't
Speaker 2: have time to stress about the the CBC. But yeah,
Speaker 2: when I got there, I just went with it. The
Speaker 2: crowd was great, it was really powerful, and it's the
Speaker 2: CBC like I never thought I would ed. I mean,
Speaker 2: it was just like Melanin on a hundred, just beautiful.
Speaker 2: And I only got one day at the conference. I said,
Speaker 2: tod the panel, and then I got a chance to
Speaker 2: walk around, okay, And I went to this huge expo
Speaker 2: hall and of course they had like double Dutchers and
Speaker 2: a fashion show, these incredible artists like and all these businesses.
Speaker 2: Meta had a huge like NASA was there, Twitter was there.
Speaker 2: I'm like, these businesses want to buy black, Okay, yes,
Speaker 2: and it was beautiful to see. But I gravitated towards
Speaker 2: the middle where they had these black women authors and
Speaker 2: a lot of them were doing children's books. So I
Speaker 2: got rio a bunch of cute little children's books and
Speaker 2: I took the train back to New York and it
Speaker 2: was it was a fun little trip.
Speaker 1: Now I love that. That sounds a'mazic. So I what
Speaker 1: was I So the last couple of days I've been
Speaker 1: to I had to speak in Detroit, you know, and
Speaker 1: so that was how'd that go? It went really well. Honestly,
Speaker 1: my favorite part was I got to meet up with
Speaker 1: some of my mentees. Y'all know, I have my mentortivity
Speaker 1: dot com, and so about twenty of the mentees live
Speaker 1: in Detroit. So we all had dinner and it was
Speaker 1: such a good time. Oh my gosh, we had such
Speaker 1: a good time. It was just nice. I just I
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe it's growing up with sisters. I just
Speaker 1: love hanging out with like women, you know. And so
Speaker 1: we had like such a good time. Then I came
Speaker 1: back and then it was super Girl's birthday, her sweet sixteen.
Speaker 2: And you know you're screening what what was the what.
Speaker 1: She was talking? Yes and so but yeah, so if
Speaker 1: you honestly, I mean, it's up on my ig you
Speaker 1: see like her her some of her sweet sixteen pictures
Speaker 1: that Tanetta's taken. So if you see like our brown
Speaker 1: Ambition pictures, my a lot of my headshots, some of them.
Speaker 1: Did you ever get headshots with Tanetda? Yeah? Okay, so
Speaker 1: so like a lot of our headshots. Tanetta Bell amazing
Speaker 1: black woman who who's a photographer, and she just so
Speaker 1: she did Alyssa's like sixteen photo shoot and it's just
Speaker 1: the pictures are just beautiful and Melyssa is so beautiful.
Speaker 1: I'm like, when did you become this beautiful young woman?
Speaker 2: Girl?
Speaker 1: She's got red hair. It's giving black arial, I know.
Speaker 1: And then the next day I had to fly out
Speaker 1: to California because my friend eyvon Orgin she was celebrating
Speaker 1: this thing called Night of Nigerian Excellence, and it was
Speaker 1: also on Nigerian Independence Day. You know, they got their
Speaker 1: independence from the British. So that was really nice. It
Speaker 1: was nice to be in a room with like some
Speaker 1: amazing people like the former CMO of Amazon. I didn't
Speaker 1: know she was Nigerian.
Speaker 2: You know, Nigeria is synonymous with excellence, right, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 2: get to live in you don't get to be Nigerian
Speaker 2: America and not be.
Speaker 1: You got it. You got to raise the bar. But
Speaker 1: I will say I didn't realize some of the things
Speaker 1: I learned is that like I didn't Nigeria. There are
Speaker 1: so many Nigerians. You know, one of four black people
Speaker 1: is Nigerian. Because the population in Nigeria it's so huge.
Speaker 1: There's I want to say, it's two hundred million. That's
Speaker 1: the population of Nigeria. And they haven't done that. They
Speaker 1: haven't done a census since the nineties. Two hundred million people.
Speaker 1: And so what someone was like, do you know my
Speaker 1: friend who's nights. I'm like, girl, that's two hundred million US.
Speaker 1: I don't know. So that was excellent and I literally
Speaker 1: got back yesterday and then tomorrow I fly to New
Speaker 1: Orleans because my team and I so every year, well
Speaker 1: before COVID, we would go on like a vacation. We
Speaker 1: take the team. So the way we do it, this
Speaker 1: is just great for folks who have businesses, is that
Speaker 1: one year of my business partnership, Brill's like always you
Speaker 1: take the team on a trip. We had to figure
Speaker 1: out how we fund it. And so the way we
Speaker 1: funded is that, you know, every month, we make our
Speaker 1: gross you know, revenue, you know, and then we subtract
Speaker 1: all of our operating expenses and all the things we
Speaker 1: have to pay before, but before we take out the taxes,
Speaker 1: we set aside, I want to say anywhere from three
Speaker 1: to five percent. I can't remember the number, but it's
Speaker 1: like three to five percent. I think I want to
Speaker 1: say like three percent. We put it in our travel bucket,
Speaker 1: and so every month we would kind of give an
Speaker 1: update so they'd be like woo who. So we would
Speaker 1: update them on here's what we made, here's what we
Speaker 1: spent to make it, Here's how much is in your
Speaker 1: travel bucket, and then here's how much. We also have
Speaker 1: a bonus bucket where it's like, okay, at the end
Speaker 1: of the year, this is where we're going to draw bonuses,
Speaker 1: so they could get real clear like the bonus bucket.
Speaker 1: And typically what we try to do is we try
Speaker 1: to say March of last year, the bonus bucket was this.
Speaker 1: This year, it's this. That way, if you're thinking you're
Speaker 1: going to get the same bonus less or more, you
Speaker 1: can kind of set your expectation otherwise. So anyway, you know,
Speaker 1: because then because I remember one year the bonuses weren't
Speaker 1: as big, and they're like what happened? And I realized
Speaker 1: that's my fault because one's the last time I gave
Speaker 1: the bonus bucket update, and when's the last time I
Speaker 1: did the comparison, you know, one year we had such
Speaker 1: an amazing year. The lowest bonus was ten thousand dollars
Speaker 1: and that was yes, that was people. That was someone
Speaker 1: who was making you know, maybe twenty thousand at this company.
Speaker 1: So like that was how because the way the bonus
Speaker 1: bucket works is that we set aside the percentage and
Speaker 1: then whatever percentage you earn from payroll from the payroll pots,
Speaker 1: that's the percentage you earned from the from the bonus bucket.
Speaker 1: So if your pay if your pay is ten percent
Speaker 1: of our payroll, then you get ten percent of the
Speaker 1: bonus bucket. So that's how we even that out, you know,
Speaker 1: so made it really like easy, and then it's so
Speaker 1: super transparent so you're able to share all the numbers
Speaker 1: without sharing personal numbers. So not like Tiffany, you're gonna
Speaker 1: get you know, so you can got to do your
Speaker 1: own math and be like, oh, okay, I should get
Speaker 1: around this month. So it worked really well. But the
Speaker 1: transparency part is is key.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Setting expectations.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that way people can know like, oh, last
Speaker 1: year we did make way more money. This year is
Speaker 1: way less. And so so with the trip we have
Speaker 1: not gone on a trip in so long. So we
Speaker 1: had almost eighty thousand dollars saved up, because typically I
Speaker 1: want to say we have like thirty to forty thousand,
Speaker 1: but you know, we haven't gone anywhere, and we were
Speaker 1: still contributing to the trip bucket, and so I was like,
Speaker 1: let's go crazy. I told them, you know, save something
Speaker 1: for next year, but let's use sixty thousand, like upwards
Speaker 1: of sixty thousand. And so we're doing all the things
Speaker 1: in Nola. We always do a spot, then we always
Speaker 1: do some sort of like fun activity. So we're going
Speaker 1: to do like a swamp tour, and we always do
Speaker 1: I know. And so it's really the first one that
Speaker 1: you get a choice. You get like the slow boat
Speaker 1: or like the speedboat. The girls is already like, girl,
Speaker 1: my wig, I want the slow boat. So I'm honestly,
Speaker 1: I'm really even though I'm tired, I'm super excited because
Speaker 1: it's it's like a family reunion of all these beautiful
Speaker 1: black and brown women that you don't get to see
Speaker 1: normally because everyone works digitally. And so you walk in
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, hey, Tmika. You're like, wait, I
Speaker 1: never see Tamika and so you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: So the first time you see someone, you're like, you're
Speaker 1: shorter than I thought, Oh you're tarlet that. I thought, yes,
Speaker 1: but it's it's going to be such an honestly, it's
Speaker 1: such a such an awesome time, and so yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: just looking forward to that. But then I think next
Speaker 1: week after that, I have to go to Dallas for
Speaker 1: speaking engagement and then Dubai with my sister for like
Speaker 1: Dallas to Dubai child. When I tell you, I was like,
Speaker 1: who set this calendar? But honestly, November December, who check
Speaker 1: it for me? No one, I'm not doing it if
Speaker 1: it's not on my calendar, which is next to now.
Speaker 1: Only thing on my calendar is Brown Ambition. If it's
Speaker 1: not on my calendar, it's not happening. November December. I
Speaker 1: have shut down the calendar. Only what I love is
Speaker 1: in my normal, non busy life. The only consistent thing
Speaker 1: that I have week after week is Brown Ambition. There's
Speaker 1: nothing on my calendar, there's no standing. I have Brandna
Speaker 1: Bischen on Mondays and that's when we tape typically, but
Speaker 1: and I like that, like I don't want to start
Speaker 1: to fill up my calendar. I mean, I'm grateful for
Speaker 1: the fun things I get to do, but like you know,
Speaker 1: I like the peace of like not doing too much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and not have not being like a slave to
Speaker 2: your to your calendar in that way. Yeah, something that
Speaker 2: you said resonated with me. First of all, I also
Speaker 2: got to meet up with some Mandi money makers in
Speaker 2: the DMV and we had a little dinner and it
Speaker 2: was so it was beautiful. And you know when I
Speaker 2: realized I actually I realized it during FINCN because I
Speaker 2: went to a speaking like one of the sessions and
Speaker 2: it was led by a white guy, and as he
Speaker 2: was talking, I was like, this is different. I haven't
Speaker 2: had to listen to a white man, and like two years,
Speaker 2: I've literally had a moment where I was like, oh.
Speaker 1: They still make the same jokes, they.
Speaker 2: Still say you dig no. But in all seriousness, I
Speaker 2: just man like, and I know you had talked about
Speaker 2: it before, you know, because obviously, budget needs to aid
Speaker 2: has always been but for black women, by black women,
Speaker 2: all all of it. But in my business, because I
Speaker 2: focus on helping women of color, and because I have
Speaker 2: surrounded myself by other women of color entrepreneurs, and because
Speaker 2: I'm being so true to this audience, and I'm getting
Speaker 2: invited to places like the CBC. But even at the CBC,
Speaker 2: it's like, come to this moderate, this panel about black
Speaker 2: women in the workplace and how it affects our health,
Speaker 2: and I just get the privilege. It is such a
Speaker 2: it's so like, it's so healing. I feel like for
Speaker 2: all those years in corporate when I was like the
Speaker 2: only one or one a few, and I know so
Speaker 2: many of us out there feel the same way, and
Speaker 2: the power of like finding these spaces and getting to
Speaker 2: be in them so much that I'm like, oh, neat,
Speaker 2: let's see what Let's see what the cis white guys
Speaker 2: are up to these days from them real quick. But
Speaker 2: then I get to go back and yeah, it's just yeah,
Speaker 2: it's just beautiful and it's a privilege and it really
Speaker 2: is healing. So I feel like if you're someone out
Speaker 2: there who's craving that, find us, you know, even finding
Speaker 2: my mentor Tiffany, finding the Mandy money Makers, just finding
Speaker 2: sisterhood wherever you can, Like, it's so healing. We need
Speaker 2: each other.
Speaker 1: Right child, we do. It's funny. I was talking to
Speaker 1: one on like my like my in person Mente's yesterday,
Speaker 1: and she it kind of came up where, I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's a question. She asked her how I
Speaker 1: came up. She said, when you're looking for a mentor,
Speaker 1: Tiffany for yourself, are you looking for someone who's making
Speaker 1: more money than you or someone who's been in business
Speaker 1: longer than you? Like she was kind of trying to
Speaker 1: figure out because as she gathers more mentors. And I said,
Speaker 1: if I had to choose one, hands down, I like,
Speaker 1: if I you know, it's like you only get one,
Speaker 1: there's one thing from this mentor, hands down. I much
Speaker 1: rather choose a mentor who's been in business longer than me.
Speaker 1: I don't care if I'm making a hundred million dollars
Speaker 1: a year, you know, and this mentor makes two million
Speaker 1: dollars a year, but they've been in business sixty years.
Speaker 1: I would choose that. And she was like, really, I said, girl,
Speaker 1: anyone can hit a lick. That's what the kids say.
Speaker 1: I'm cool now, meaning like anyone could get lucky and like,
Speaker 1: you know, like get a bag, you know, like oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, you know, at the right moment, at the
Speaker 1: right time. So I know, I have friends who've made
Speaker 1: millions of dollars during the pandemic because it was just
Speaker 1: the right moment in time. See them in five years,
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, I pray that they continue
Speaker 1: to do be successful. But there's so much nuance. Like
Speaker 1: I always mentioned my friend Cabral because he's one of
Speaker 1: my gutu, but really Cabrell, the real genius is Mama Denise. Okay,
Speaker 1: like elegant Eyes has been in business I think over
Speaker 1: sixty years. His grandparents started it, then his mother took over,
Speaker 1: and then he and his sister. They have been through
Speaker 1: the Newark riots, they have lived through multiple recessions, they
Speaker 1: have lived through the pandemic. This is a brick and
Speaker 1: mortar with physical products, glasses, and it's black city, serving
Speaker 1: black people, having real in person employees, you know, Like
Speaker 1: I don't know that there's a harder business to being.
Speaker 1: So there is nothing that Miss Denise has not seen, conquered,
Speaker 1: lived through and is still here to tell and profitable
Speaker 1: still So even though I mean I don't know, obviously
Speaker 1: I can't count the paper. I don't know you know
Speaker 1: how much they make. But let's just say I'm making
Speaker 1: way more, you know, because I'm Internet, and my overhead
Speaker 1: is lower there I cannot compare myself to Miss Denise
Speaker 1: in her knowledge. There's literally times I'm like, Cabro, could
Speaker 1: you ask your mother what else to do about? You know?
Speaker 1: And so I mean, certainly there's things to learn from
Speaker 1: someone who's making a ton of money, obviously, but to me, like,
Speaker 1: I'm wanting to be here for a long time, and
Speaker 1: there are just some people who, you know, like I
Speaker 1: just can't imagine. Literally there are scenarios that I will
Speaker 1: share at Cabrill. He be like, oh, you know what,
Speaker 1: I remember my mom dealt with that in two thousand
Speaker 1: and one. Let me ask, And I'm like, there's no
Speaker 1: scenario that I bring up. And when I tell you,
Speaker 1: I am just so grateful for I'm like I told him, like, yo,
Speaker 1: as much as I pays, I'm my business coach. You
Speaker 1: my business coach, because there literally there are some scenarios
Speaker 1: that seem so wild and crazy. They're like, there's no
Speaker 1: one who could guide me through this. Something will say
Speaker 1: why not call Cobroad to see if he's lived through it,
Speaker 1: and he's like, oh yeah, yeah yeah, and the advice
Speaker 1: he hasn't missed yet and it's been years. We've been
Speaker 1: friends for like eight years now. The advice that he's
Speaker 1: given me has been invaluable about how to navigate business.
Speaker 1: So I just say all that the same. You know,
Speaker 1: when looking for business mentorship, not even just business mentorship,
Speaker 1: I think mentorship in general to not your turn your
Speaker 1: back again someone who might not be making as much
Speaker 1: as you aspire to, but has lots of experience, because
Speaker 1: there's so much value in that. You know.
Speaker 2: It's also the trap of thinking that people's followers equate
Speaker 2: to business success. Speak on end listen. I have been
Speaker 2: in the rooms where I have been overlooked and I
Speaker 2: know exactly why, and it's because, oh it's you know,
Speaker 2: they do like the little quick cell phone. Who she
Speaker 2: oh not that many?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: And then I feel dismissed, but I know better, like
Speaker 2: there's there are in this space. Especially since TikTok has
Speaker 2: become so huge, I feel like people will start to
Speaker 2: quate your value with the number of followers you have.
Speaker 2: But as the business coach I've been working with outside
Speaker 2: of Tiffany, because you know, Tiffany has other things to
Speaker 2: do besides just listening all day, her constantly reminding me
Speaker 2: like we don't know their business model and and a
Speaker 2: lot of people have even asked me like, how did
Speaker 2: how did your you know, Master Classico, how's your webinar going?
Speaker 2: Because I had this huge following, I don't know how
Speaker 2: to leverage it and how to make a business out
Speaker 2: of it. So yeah, I love that you said that.
Speaker 2: It's about that substance, right, Yeah, so you got miss
Speaker 2: you got Miss Denise on on speed dial or.
Speaker 1: You I've been walking into elegantized like, hey, miss Denise.
Speaker 2: She survived Willby Parker too.
Speaker 1: I mean yes, literally, when you think about what this
Speaker 1: woman has survived and thrived through, Like I've never gone
Speaker 1: to eleganize in this empty that place. It's right in
Speaker 1: the heart of downtown Newark. I mean, I don't think
Speaker 1: people understand what happened in the sixties. You know, we
Speaker 1: racial unrest was still here, but it was a very
Speaker 1: volatile time and at one point Newark was kind of
Speaker 1: like them this is where like you go if you
Speaker 1: were like upper middle class black And then they killed
Speaker 1: I believe the police killed a young black boy and
Speaker 1: the city wasn't you know, rightfully so angry and they
Speaker 1: basically burned it down and you had to put in
Speaker 1: your window, black owned business, you know, to hopefully survive,
Speaker 1: and so do you know, and so imagine after the burndown,
Speaker 1: and what happened was a lot of because new Ork
Speaker 1: is also middle class, not just for black people, for
Speaker 1: white folks too. White flight happened and they fled the
Speaker 1: city and then they took all these resources with them,
Speaker 1: and so Newark limped along. There was no funding, no money.
Speaker 1: It was dangerous. And she was still here, you know,
Speaker 1: or her parents at least. And you think yourself, and
Speaker 1: the thing about this Denise, I'm like, I'm I'm understating
Speaker 1: how amazing she is. It's not just elegantized. Miss Denise
Speaker 1: has owned I hops just because she's like, I just
Speaker 1: wanted to try a little franchise and can you imagine
Speaker 1: a black woman, you know. And then at one point
Speaker 1: she owned another, she owned a couple of restaurants. She
Speaker 1: owned She's not Jamaica and she owned a Jamaica restaurant.
Speaker 1: I was like, just wanted to try my hand. She's
Speaker 1: owned apartment buildings, just want to try on my hand.
Speaker 1: I mean, can we mister? I'm telling you she is
Speaker 1: like business idol, you know, because she has taken her
Speaker 1: knowledge and has applied it to all these different types
Speaker 1: of businesses and been successful in all of them. And
Speaker 1: then it's still here and still doing so well, still profitable.
Speaker 1: You know, she's a staple on the community. Like literally,
Speaker 1: if you see someone in new glasses, nine times out
Speaker 1: of ten, like elegant eyes are like girl, you already
Speaker 1: now you know? And so I just you know, I
Speaker 1: think that, like Scott's the reason why I mentioned it.
Speaker 1: I saw a post where a woman who was a
Speaker 1: business coach who's been business for thirty years before she
Speaker 1: even started coaching, said that she felt really frustrated because
Speaker 1: the coaches that were doing really well are the ones,
Speaker 1: you know, who were flashing their Lowis bag and their
Speaker 1: Mercedes or whatever. But they had not they had not
Speaker 1: had the experience in business before they started coaching. And
Speaker 1: she's just just really frustrating in this field that like
Speaker 1: people will literally be like, yeah, but you don't look fancy,
Speaker 1: so I don't want to work with you. And so
Speaker 1: it just had me bring up. So hopefully those of
Speaker 1: y'all listening will understand that, like, certainly it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: your business coach can't both book fancy and have the experience,
Speaker 1: but to choose based upon substance, you know, if you're
Speaker 1: really wanting to like, you know, be coached. But yeah,
Speaker 1: just like she's literally like my eye on. I'm just like,
Speaker 1: that's because that's how I want to be. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be like a singular entrepreneur. I
Speaker 1: want to be like, oh, you know, I want to
Speaker 1: try my hand in this thing. Maybe I'll get apartment buildings,
Speaker 1: maybe I also open a restaurant, you know. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: and to see a woman who did this when black
Speaker 1: women were not did not have the access that we
Speaker 1: have now as much as we struggle now as black women,
Speaker 1: imagine back in the sixties and Miss Denise was like yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: and the limitations are and she still did it. So
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, I told her, bro, that's our mother
Speaker 1: on the show. I know she'd probably be like video.
Speaker 1: She's a tough cookie. She don't let nobody talk to
Speaker 1: her any kind of way. These men be come out
Speaker 1: of there, and she's because you can imagine that what
Speaker 1: you what you think that she's like tough and like yeah,
Speaker 1: and I don't care if that's a man. Okay, bring
Speaker 1: that same energy you know, like because you have to
Speaker 1: be a badass, yes, but just the sweetest and most
Speaker 1: beautiful woman. So yeah, So do you want to go?
Speaker 1: You want to switch? Turn on over to Brown Boost
Speaker 1: Brown Break? Is it that time? Oh?
Speaker 2: I think we need to take a little breaky break first,
Speaker 2: let's take a little pause. We'll be right back y'all
Speaker 2: with Brown Boost and Brown Break and we're bagging me
Speaker 2: at like a oh sorry off the side. You ever
Speaker 2: heard of chicken bone beach?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, yes, in New Jersey. I've been there.
Speaker 2: You've been there. Yeah, Okay, maybe i'll boot.
Speaker 1: Okay, because there's a you should you should come one year.
Speaker 1: There's this well one of my friends does this thing
Speaker 1: called black Girl Beach Day and she does you.
Speaker 2: Guys talk about it on Brown Boots.
Speaker 1: I think I am, and we're back and black it's
Speaker 1: time for I can't I said b a Q to do.
Speaker 1: Now it's time to boost. Is you going booth? Are
Speaker 1: you going break? What you're gonna do? Which one? Will
Speaker 1: you take? Boost? A break?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Let me riddle me this. Do you have something positive
Speaker 1: or are you breaking or you're boosting?
Speaker 2: I'm boosting?
Speaker 1: Okay, then let me go first because I have something
Speaker 1: that's positive. So I'm like, we're gonna en positive, though
Speaker 1: I am breaking from so after Drell passed away, you know,
Speaker 1: people really leaning and they want to help you. But
Speaker 1: now we are getting to the We're crossing boundaries segment
Speaker 1: of the show. We're literally I was like, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say no name, but they know because this is
Speaker 1: when I told them, don't come in my house when
Speaker 1: I'm not here, don't close no windows, don't like I
Speaker 1: have a we have family, have family members. Not my family,
Speaker 1: I mean my family, but like not my like not
Speaker 1: the least chase side. I'll just say that. Folks being like, oh,
Speaker 1: I got the key from such and such and it
Speaker 1: just I'm like.
Speaker 2: Oh from such and such.
Speaker 1: Whop I mean sorry, you don't know. Oh you could
Speaker 1: go ahead and get no. No, no, no, no no. So I
Speaker 1: have two phone calls. I already made one of them
Speaker 1: today to say if I'm not barring, the houses on
Speaker 1: fire and you have to run in and like, you know,
Speaker 1: put it out. If I'm not home, I don't care
Speaker 1: what you need in the house. The only three people
Speaker 1: that could come in here are my sister who's staying
Speaker 1: with me currently, Alyssa and myself. That's why I have
Speaker 1: to tell Like I'm like, oh, because I know you
Speaker 1: had left the light on. I got money for the
Speaker 1: light bill. It'll be all right. I noticed. No no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, and so just like you know, yeah, because
Speaker 1: here's the thing is just because I said, picture me
Speaker 1: coming to your house and just like looking around. One
Speaker 1: time I had come up with vacation. My car keys
Speaker 1: removed and like it was like oh yeah, and I
Speaker 1: just was like, where's the things will be moving? And
Speaker 1: I'm just like, oh no, no, no no. So I
Speaker 1: have to have a nights come to you. And I
Speaker 1: understand the intention is to like, you know, I want
Speaker 1: to be protective. I want to and I said, you
Speaker 1: and I at the same age, I'm going to you're
Speaker 1: in a dumb and although I love you dearly, don't
Speaker 1: come in my house unless I can leave on me
Speaker 1: because they have a key interest in there. Imagine going
Speaker 1: to your house boom boom boom, boom boom. Is that
Speaker 1: tiny just walking in? What y'all doing it here? That
Speaker 1: would be crazy? And I said that would be crazy
Speaker 1: and it's crazy now, so what if I know Nope,
Speaker 1: I've given the key to three folks. My neighbor those
Speaker 1: also a real good friend, and my two my other
Speaker 1: two sisters. You know, those are only because you give
Speaker 1: the key to people that you know wouldn't use it.
Speaker 1: That's how it worked for you give keys because it's
Speaker 1: just therefore like I got locked out or maybe like
Speaker 1: ooh girl, I'm on VAK and I know a package
Speaker 1: is coming and the people be out in these streets
Speaker 1: steal in packages. Can you put it, you know, inside
Speaker 1: the house or whatever. But yeah, that was just like
Speaker 1: and I mean, I know people mean well, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: when did I become an infant that you have to
Speaker 1: like just come on in and make sure this and
Speaker 1: moving things around, and like I didn't ask for all that,
Speaker 1: although I appreciate like the sentiment don't do it, don't
Speaker 1: do it, you know, like I just it was just
Speaker 1: really frustrated because I happened twice for two different people
Speaker 1: this weekend that I was like, I said, I'm about
Speaker 1: to hit up list and be like, List, don't let
Speaker 1: these adults shake you down for the key, because I
Speaker 1: know probably listened probably like.
Speaker 2: Do you know like a nester or a ring or
Speaker 2: something like that, like an audi.
Speaker 1: I do no, no, no, I have a ring with
Speaker 1: the key. No, no, I have a ring. I have
Speaker 1: a ring as far as I can see you and
Speaker 1: speak to you. But I don't have the ring where
Speaker 1: you can. Yeah, and I might get that, you know, Like,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. There's no there's nobody here, like, there's
Speaker 1: no need, there's honestly, there's really no reason why anyone.
Speaker 1: It's just that people feel comfortable. I'm like, you weren't.
Speaker 1: You weren't doing that when Jerell say, first of all,
Speaker 1: Dree would to cust you out six ways from Sunday
Speaker 1: because you know he was a cussler. You know, he
Speaker 1: would cuss you out six ways from Sunday. Like you
Speaker 1: wouldn't do that. And the truth is a picture of
Speaker 1: me getting a listen, hey, list give me such and
Speaker 1: such key. I'm just gonna run up there real quick
Speaker 1: and get your things. That would not bad, you know.
Speaker 2: And so like I just think, what's that word infantilization?
Speaker 1: Yes, like I'm all into a child, and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: we got to look after Tiffany. No, And if I
Speaker 1: need help, I certainly I'll ask for it. But you
Speaker 1: don't just get to come in and out unless I
Speaker 1: can come in and at your place, you know. And
Speaker 1: I said, so that's my boundary, you know. And no, Sally,
Speaker 1: I feel really proud of myself. And the reason why
Speaker 1: I mentioned this is because if you would have caught
Speaker 1: me a year two years ago, I wouldn't have said anything.
Speaker 1: I would have waited until they did it for the
Speaker 1: fifth time and then exploded because that was my way.
Speaker 1: I didn't feel comfortable setting boundaries with people like Mandy
Speaker 1: and I were just talking. I said, like it was
Speaker 1: like yesterday and I was like, Mandy, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I want to do I know we were supposed
Speaker 1: to do like more YouTube lives And I said, Mandy,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I want to do YouTube lives
Speaker 1: in the evening. And then she was like, well, you
Speaker 1: know you're you brought up the evening as best. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did, but I don't know that I want to
Speaker 1: do it. No, not even I don't know. I know
Speaker 1: I don't because I'm overworked and overwhelmed and I want
Speaker 1: to pull back some of my time. Because if I
Speaker 1: don't set the boundary, how would Mandy know? I would
Speaker 1: just be showing up like I don't want to do
Speaker 1: evening time things. But it's up to It's not anyone
Speaker 1: else's responsibility to read my mind. You set the boundary,
Speaker 1: and certainly sometimes people need to be reminded, and so
Speaker 1: like I'm like if I don't say so, I'm proud
Speaker 1: of myself because Tiffany now is like it happened yesterday,
Speaker 1: I'm saying it today, like I'm setting the boundary. It's
Speaker 1: definitely with kindness, you know, certainly, you know, you escalated,
Speaker 1: people don't listen, But honestly that's not gonna be the issue.
Speaker 1: That's not you know, I'm not worried about that. It
Speaker 1: was just more so that like the fact is that
Speaker 1: the thing can happen, I can speak on it and
Speaker 1: then we can move on. But yeah, it was just
Speaker 1: like I certainly was like, what the hell is going on? Like,
Speaker 1: y'all can just be walking? Can I walk up your house?
Speaker 2: I think if you love someone, you accept their boundaries. Right, Yes,
Speaker 2: you say no, can't do it. I'm like, okay, trust you,
Speaker 2: respect you've done. It's a different deal.
Speaker 1: Yes, thankfully. One thing that drove it that was really
Speaker 1: great because he was always so so particular about our safety,
Speaker 1: is that we have these special cut keys that cannot
Speaker 1: be reproduced at like a home depot or even the
Speaker 1: hood spot, Like if you try to take it theod spot,
Speaker 1: ask me, because I know I was like, can you
Speaker 1: I was trying to cut keys to my system? M hm,
Speaker 1: you have to. Literally there's a company that we have
Speaker 1: to order them to be mailed and so there's no
Speaker 1: so literally, you know, when it was just myself, Tracy
Speaker 1: and Alyssa, those are the only three keys. Even if
Speaker 1: Alyssa gave the key to somebody, they couldn't just secretly
Speaker 1: make a key and then come in. So all in
Speaker 1: each door because Jarrell was super anal that each door
Speaker 1: has its own separate key. So I have three doors
Speaker 1: a side door, so if I lose the front door
Speaker 1: key or whatever and I have to order my separate
Speaker 1: cut key, I still have the key to the side
Speaker 1: door if I have to change the lock. So he
Speaker 1: was always very protective over our safety, which I love,
Speaker 1: you know, But yeah, I like that too because I
Speaker 1: would be nervous, like, well, lit's how many people you
Speaker 1: get the key too? Do they have copies? Well no
Speaker 1: they can't because you know, hers is the only key.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm gonna talk to her again. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I remember I said, don't guess, I just that's my key.
Speaker 1: She's sick, likes I know she doesn't know. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like, just in general, if someone says,
Speaker 1: can I have the key, say let me ask Tiffany.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give her that language, like, hey, let me
Speaker 1: ask Tiffany if that's okay, because you know, in her
Speaker 1: mind she probably was like, sure, hight not. We're all family,
Speaker 1: and it's like we are. But yeah, so that was
Speaker 1: just my brain, my brown break boundaries.
Speaker 2: Are people starting to ask you or do you feel
Speaker 2: expectations to do something for I know, it's coming up
Speaker 2: on a year since he passed, which is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean actually a year, but I know Tony
Speaker 1: actually asked me yesterday, our attorney, Tony asked me yesterday
Speaker 1: because my birthday comes up in two weeks. And then
Speaker 1: she asked me, like, what I'm gonna do? And honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't. That's one reasons I'm taking November, you know,
Speaker 1: like I'm just because I don't know my I might
Speaker 1: just say, you know what I'm gonna, you know, go
Speaker 1: to like how I did with our first wedding anniversary
Speaker 1: that I just went to the you know, upstate New
Speaker 1: York and got an airbnb, so I wouldn't want to have
Speaker 1: the space to decide what I want to do. If
Speaker 1: I'm being honest, I still have not gotten his headstone,
Speaker 1: just because it felt too real. But I think I
Speaker 1: finally am ready to do that, you know, just because
Speaker 1: it just felt like this is really happening. I didn't,
Speaker 1: you know, I wasn't in the space. So I think
Speaker 1: I'm going to do that. And I don't know, like
Speaker 1: I have the month basically off except for Brown and Miss.
Speaker 1: The great thing is I can tape this, you know.
Speaker 1: Wherever I'm going to be, I always check they have
Speaker 1: Wi Fi. We can tape. But so, yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: have anything planned. You know. We were thinking about maybe
Speaker 1: doing a balloon release.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm just asking in the sense that like
Speaker 2: I don't expect you to do anything, and I would
Speaker 2: just feel like it would put extra pressure if people
Speaker 2: were expecting something from you, or like want or like
Speaker 2: like projecting what they think you should be doing. You know.
Speaker 1: You know, I've gotten like really the day shout out
Speaker 1: to doctor Green, because I've gotten really so much better
Speaker 1: at allowing people to have their expectations of me and
Speaker 1: saying okay. And you know, because old Tiffany definitely tried
Speaker 1: to live up to everyone's expectations. At one point, I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't even know my personality. I just shift.
Speaker 1: I'm a shift shaper. You know, like this is you
Speaker 1: need haha, laughing Tiffany. You need serious Tiffany. Because it
Speaker 1: was like whatever I could do to just get along,
Speaker 1: I want to be amicable. I'm easy to get along with.
Speaker 1: And it was just like, you know, I was like
Speaker 1: I was a super people pleaser, but I did not
Speaker 1: please myself. And now you know I can. I'm so
Speaker 1: much better at being like you know, because I'm sure
Speaker 1: there are people who are like, she ain't get a
Speaker 1: I mean not brand a bitch of listeners. But I'm
Speaker 1: seeing on Jarrell's family, she ain't get the um the
Speaker 1: you know, his his tombstone or whatever. Yet honestly, no,
Speaker 1: and not to say I don't care, but I don't care,
Speaker 1: like not I vis youer a lit, I don't care,
Speaker 1: but I just I'm like, whenever it takes me three years,
Speaker 1: so be it unless you want to buy oh okay,
Speaker 1: you know, and so like I get to decide. I'm
Speaker 1: feeling very comfortable, and I get to decide whatever it's
Speaker 1: best for me because everyone is an adult. The only
Speaker 1: person that I make a concerted effort to go above
Speaker 1: and beyond for is Alyssa because she's a child, you know,
Speaker 1: and I feel responsible for her upbringing and well being.
Speaker 1: But everyone else, I want you to be well, and
Speaker 1: I want you to do well, and I'm here to
Speaker 1: help if need be, But I'm not here to look
Speaker 1: after you because you are an adult. I have to
Speaker 1: tell them about that. I'm like, everybody here is grown.
Speaker 1: You got your bills, you got your own like you're Alica,
Speaker 1: the only non grown one that's my That is my
Speaker 1: financial emotional deep concern, like do I care about everybody? Yes,
Speaker 1: But ultimately, as adults, we have to make a way
Speaker 1: and see our way through ourselves. And I was trying
Speaker 1: to put everybody on my back and do everything. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so even if people have expectations or want me to
Speaker 1: do this or want me to do that, people are
Speaker 1: free to make their own plans now my house, but
Speaker 1: they're free to make their own plans wherever they are,
Speaker 1: and I am free to decide whether I'll participate or not.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm going to do. Honestly, I
Speaker 1: might not be here, you know. I might just be
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna go to Florida, or like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go someplace warm or you know whatever. Or I might
Speaker 1: just say, hey, come over to the house and you know,
Speaker 1: and we'll have you know, we'll have to I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I just know that it's I don't feel the
Speaker 1: pressure of the expectations as I would have before that,
Speaker 1: Like doctor Green is an amazing therapist, So I don't
Speaker 1: carry around that guilt with me that I used to
Speaker 1: carry around. And I know what I love about Jerrelle
Speaker 1: is that likes sweet as jero is. He was a badass.
Speaker 1: He would be like the people and he wouldn't say
Speaker 1: f you know, like if he was here right now,
Speaker 1: jured be like, who was coming in my house? You
Speaker 1: would get cussed out, you know, he would cuss you
Speaker 1: off and they'd be like you want some dinner? You know?
Speaker 1: Like that was so like I just, you know, so
Speaker 1: I feel more than fine that whatever I decided, I'll
Speaker 1: be like, baby, don't don't let them. He was like,
Speaker 1: you always let people want roll of you. You want
Speaker 1: me to say something. I'm like, you can't talk to
Speaker 1: the brand on my behalf bait because you gonna cuss
Speaker 1: them out. I'm gonna be fine, you know. And so
Speaker 1: he was very protective exactly, and so like I just
Speaker 1: say all that to say that whatever I do, I
Speaker 1: know that Jarella is going to be like, whatever you
Speaker 1: want to do, that's up to you. I know that.
Speaker 1: Like my biggest concern is I certainly will ask Melissa,
Speaker 1: is there anything particular that you want to do? Well,
Speaker 1: I'll get don't do this because I know it's like
Speaker 1: kind of sad. But on a happy note. For Alyssa's birthday,
Speaker 1: I was trying to figure out what to do for
Speaker 1: her sweet sixteen so we can switch gears to a
Speaker 1: happy brown boost is that I decided. I was inspired
Speaker 1: by my friend Bozman Saint John because she does this
Speaker 1: for her daughter every year on her birthday. So I
Speaker 1: sent her some flowers and the card. Although I can't
Speaker 1: give you the world, I can help you see it.
Speaker 1: And then for your sixteenth birthday, you can pick anywhere
Speaker 1: you want to go in the world, and we're going
Speaker 1: to go. She was like, I know, yes, girl, because
Speaker 1: you know listen is boo. She called me screamer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you already know first of all, listen. So I told her,
Speaker 1: I said one, I said, because she said I know
Speaker 1: where I want to go. Because I called her. I said,
Speaker 1: did you get your flowers? She said yes. I said,
Speaker 1: did you read your card? She said yes, and she
Speaker 1: said I know where I want to go. I said,
Speaker 1: before you say, don't be basic, I almost like, don't choose,
Speaker 1: like you know, I'm not gonna say any countries because
Speaker 1: I don't want nobody to be mad because you know.
Speaker 1: But but I said, don't be basic like stretching girls.
Speaker 1: So she was like, I want to do a European tour.
Speaker 2: Me.
Speaker 1: Well, I told this girl one place in the girl
Speaker 1: She's like, I want to do London, Paris and someplace
Speaker 1: in Italy. I'm like this, I said, okay, so we're
Speaker 1: going to do that. I think probably for I don't
Speaker 1: know when spring break is, but that's when I'm I
Speaker 1: think that's probably the best time, like during her spring
Speaker 1: break and yeah, like I've been to Paris, I've been
Speaker 1: to London, I've been to Italy, but I don't know
Speaker 1: where in Italy, Like I want someplace you know that
Speaker 1: we can spend like three days in each place, so
Speaker 1: like two days in each place, you know. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm excited to like take care. She is old special,
Speaker 1: I know, and so like Geral wanted this for her too.
Speaker 1: Someone told me the other day, despite all the trauma
Speaker 1: and the grief, Tiffany, I hope you realize how blessed
Speaker 1: you are. And I do realize that, and not because
Speaker 1: of material things. But I have some really amazing people,
Speaker 1: even the ones that be open in my door. I
Speaker 1: have some really amazing people in my life. I do,
Speaker 1: you know, I have so many people that really like
Speaker 1: love me for real, for real, I have amazing friends.
Speaker 1: I've got Mandy. Y'all don't even know. Like when I
Speaker 1: was on grief leave, how much me and Mandy and
Speaker 1: I talked like hours of me just walking on the
Speaker 1: beach and talking. You know. I never once felt pressure
Speaker 1: to come back to Brown ambition. I always felt free
Speaker 1: because you have to have a friend that you can
Speaker 1: feel free to say when you don't want to do
Speaker 1: something and not be afraid that they're gonna be mad
Speaker 1: at you because it's quote unquote not what's quote unquote
Speaker 1: best for us both And so like I'm really really fortunate,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to forget that despite the loss,
Speaker 1: I have so much, you know, as it relates to
Speaker 1: like the people who care about me, and so I
Speaker 1: can't wait to do that for her. And you know,
Speaker 1: I'm like, Lord, So if you guys have any suggestions
Speaker 1: about if I do London, Paris, we're in Italy or
Speaker 1: maybe some place of maybe it's Barcelona. I don't really
Speaker 1: I'm not good at geography, so I'm trying to figure out,
Speaker 1: what's you know, two and a half days for three
Speaker 1: days a piece, and he's like, where where can I go?
Speaker 2: Feelings, Well, we did our whole honeymoon in Italy, so
Speaker 2: I got some ideas. Ooh okay, yeah no, that's so exciting. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean in terms of like, the one vision I
Speaker 2: have of you is at Darrell's homegoing and being so
Speaker 2: devastated but also feeling so I've always like relief. I
Speaker 2: just knew you'd be okay because the love in the room,
Speaker 2: the support in the room, you know, and even checking
Speaker 2: on you now, which I don't feel like I do
Speaker 2: that often, but you never know what someone's going through
Speaker 2: when you know you're off, you know, in your own
Speaker 2: time and things like that, and trying to find the
Speaker 2: right time to ask, like how are you doing and
Speaker 2: if you're feeling this certain way, And I was like,
Speaker 2: you know, just wanting to check in and see, but
Speaker 2: I'm just like, you're so strong.
Speaker 1: And it's not just it's not.
Speaker 2: Just like a what do you call it, like an
Speaker 2: artificial strength, like being strong to be strong because you're
Speaker 2: supposed to be strong. It's such it's born at this
Speaker 2: internal strength of love that you're surrounded with and support
Speaker 2: and all of the you know, those relationships that are
Speaker 2: booing you, and it's just as beautiful to see. And
Speaker 2: I feel like for anyone it's we talk a lot
Speaker 2: about financial resilience, but it's like that it's that inner
Speaker 2: resilience and that like relationship resilience. You know, what kind
Speaker 2: of a person.
Speaker 1: It's Still I would say, like more times than not,
Speaker 1: I'm going to cry through the night still, you know,
Speaker 1: because it's still so hard, especially at night because that's
Speaker 1: when we like really hung out and talked and laughed
Speaker 1: and you know, like this house is filled with so
Speaker 1: much love and I literally can look at every spot
Speaker 1: in the house of all that time we painted this
Speaker 1: part or we should sit on the counch and do
Speaker 1: our like recap. Like one thing that I really love
Speaker 1: that I do with Terrell now his twin is that
Speaker 1: like after an event, like he doesn't even realize that
Speaker 1: Jowl and I would do that. He calls me and
Speaker 1: then we recap the event and talk about our favorite parts.
Speaker 1: Jerrell and I used to do that, like he'd be like,
Speaker 1: oh and Themember and then and we would sit on
Speaker 1: the couch and do that. I remember the first time
Speaker 1: to real call me. It was after his birthday party
Speaker 1: and he called and he said, oh, man, Diffney, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for hosting the birthday party at your house.
Speaker 1: And this is my favorite part and this and that,
Speaker 1: and I just thought, like it's almost like Jirell sent
Speaker 1: him to be like, you know, Tiffany and I would
Speaker 1: normally recap, so go ahead and call her so you know.
Speaker 1: And so he still does that, Like after Alyssa's party,
Speaker 1: he called me, and you know, we recapped her party
Speaker 1: about how much fun was and I just like this said,
Speaker 1: I'm surrounded by so much love and it doesn't diminish
Speaker 1: like the grief, but I also know that like I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's like you live in two worlds. You know,
Speaker 1: there's this one part that's like, damn, I'm so sad
Speaker 1: he's not here, But this other part that's just like, ah,
Speaker 1: there's so much life to be lived still, and I
Speaker 1: really do believe that you meet up with your loved
Speaker 1: ones one day and so it's not the end, you know,
Speaker 1: and so I just am just like, there's still life
Speaker 1: to be lived. You're here, so what are you going
Speaker 1: to do? But like because I would hate that, you know,
Speaker 1: be ninety years old. And then I finally passed away
Speaker 1: at ninety five to meet Jirelle And he's like, girl,
Speaker 1: you wasted all that time you could have been having
Speaker 1: five because now here you are here, you know, you
Speaker 1: don't waste the last fifty years. Boo hoo, went over
Speaker 1: fifty years. You know, you could have been enjoyed, yes,
Speaker 1: because because he's gonna be like you know, you could
Speaker 1: have been enjoyed because she was gonna get here with
Speaker 1: me anyway. You know, Like when like I was talking
Speaker 1: to like a million enrollment, but especially a million, and
Speaker 1: she was just saying and then a million of time
Speaker 1: was only four or five. I think she was four
Speaker 1: when Dreel passed away and like I kept saying, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, uncle Joel's I hear any uncle truck? And
Speaker 1: she said why do you keep saying that? Like a
Speaker 1: million hes sassyrself, and I said, well, you know, I
Speaker 1: just want you to know that Uncle Joel passed away
Speaker 1: and you're not going to see him anymore. And she
Speaker 1: was like that's not true, and I said, well that
Speaker 1: you know it's true. She said, no, I want to
Speaker 1: see him in heaven. And I asked, Carol, you told
Speaker 1: Amelia that Jarrell's going to be in heaven. She's like no,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, I swear kids have this
Speaker 1: sixth sense, you know, because she wasn't sad about it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, uncle Joel's not here. She's like,
Speaker 1: I know, but we'll see him. And I'm just like
Speaker 1: it just gave me like you like, sies.
Speaker 2: Are closer to heaven than we are. Girl, there like
Speaker 2: I think you know. And I'm not a very religious person,
Speaker 2: but I do believe they were just there.
Speaker 1: Yes, And that's what I felt like that she was
Speaker 1: basically saying, like, girl, it was cute over there, So
Speaker 1: I don't even know why you're crying because if he's
Speaker 1: where I just came from Sis. So I just was
Speaker 1: like you when I tell you that, the way it
Speaker 1: gave me such peace because she was looking at me
Speaker 1: like Auntie, like you keep saying it, Sis, he's at
Speaker 1: that place where I was before. It's cute. Yeah he's
Speaker 1: not here, but we all see him. So I just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I don't know, Like, certainly, there's some days
Speaker 1: when I'm rolling on the ground, and then there's some
Speaker 1: days when I'm just like I'm really you know, I'm
Speaker 1: happy or least joyful in the moment, and so but
Speaker 1: I don't I don't take for granted just how blessed
Speaker 1: I am, like I said, surrounded by an inundated with
Speaker 1: love and people who care about me. And so like,
Speaker 1: if you're going through a loss or whatever, you know,
Speaker 1: I pray for you that you are loved as well
Speaker 1: as I'm loved with the people who, like, you know,
Speaker 1: check up on me, pray for me. There are people
Speaker 1: who I don't even know who I know, pray for me.
Speaker 1: They'll hit me on Instagram and say I was thinking
Speaker 1: about you today, not just said a prayer for you.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know how powerful that is? And I just,
Speaker 1: you know, it just it just feels really good knowing that, like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm on this journey, but I'm not by myself,
Speaker 1: and grief is something that we'll all have to experience
Speaker 1: at some point. It's just made me a more empathetic person,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're doing it on your own time and
Speaker 2: a healthy as best as you can. So so proud
Speaker 2: of you. As always, this was.
Speaker 1: Supposed to be grief episode. What's your brown Boost? Mandy?
Speaker 2: How am I supposed to come up with anything after that?
Speaker 2: I'm I'm booset Rihanna at that Super Bowl? Uh?
Speaker 1: How do I know about that? Rihanna do it the
Speaker 1: Super Bowl?
Speaker 2: I mean, I know she has all these hits, okay,
Speaker 2: but I'm like, are we going to get new music?
Speaker 2: I know we're supposed to give her space to do
Speaker 2: whatever she wants to do. She's like a black billionaire,
Speaker 2: one of the only black female billionaires in the world.
Speaker 2: We'd love that for her. But yeah, I'm excited. I
Speaker 2: feel like it's been a long time coming.
Speaker 1: But do you think like those people were mad, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you supposed we're supposed to be anti NFL.
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, I believe that Rihanna wouldn't be doing it
Speaker 2: if she didn't see the changes that she felt she
Speaker 2: needed to see. I also feel like we have to
Speaker 2: move there, you know, we have to be able to
Speaker 2: hold institutions accountable and then like decide where do we
Speaker 2: go from there? And I feel like we have to
Speaker 2: find a way forward, Like the NFL's not going away,
Speaker 2: super Bowl is not going away. It's a cultural institution,
Speaker 2: So like we have to find a way to move
Speaker 2: to move forward. And I don't think that it should
Speaker 2: diminish the work that she's done to raise awareness for
Speaker 2: things like Colan Kaepernick and you know, like the racism
Speaker 2: within the NFL and all of that. That's my hot take.
Speaker 2: And don't ask me anything else about sports, because I
Speaker 2: ah say, you'll will say yeah, So believe it there.
Speaker 2: And maybe I'll talk about Chicken Bone Beach next week.
Speaker 2: But that's another like a little hidden secret that I
Speaker 2: learned about at the CBC, the history of Chicken Bone
Speaker 2: Beach in Jersey. So stay tuned, y'all, maybe on next
Speaker 2: week's episode of Band Ambition.
Speaker 1: But don't forget, we have another episode coming up this Friday.
Speaker 1: B a q A. No, we have every Friday. If
Speaker 1: you have questions. We have answers. You can just hit
Speaker 1: up up at a Broudomision podcast dot com, click like
Speaker 1: the contact us or ask us anything and you know,
Speaker 1: submit a question.
Speaker 2: That way.
Speaker 1: You can d m us on all our social platforms
Speaker 1: if you have a question there, we literally compile them all.
Speaker 1: You guys have some amazing questions so business, personal, finance, career,
Speaker 1: you know, ask us questions all right until.
Speaker 2: Friday, See y'all Friday for b a q A hey
Speaker 2: ba fam. We could not do this show without your
Speaker 2: support or the support of our team behind the scenes.
Speaker 2: The Brown Emission Podcast is produced by Cumulus Podcast Network.
Speaker 2: It's edited by the wonderful Imani Crosby and produced by
Speaker 2: Tanya Bustos. Dennis Stimplinsky is our in house tech guru,
Speaker 2: and I am Bandy Woodard Santos, your co host, and
Speaker 2: I will see y'all next week