WEBVTT - Ep 328: Your Boundaries Are Your Responsibility 0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:16.680 Hey, hey, Hey, we're back. We're black, We're book Brown Ambition. Hey, 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:20.680 the dream Girls Ambition, Ambition, Ambition. Hey hey, Manada, how 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:22.000 are you? Hey? 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:26.240 Good to see your pretty face on this your Tuesday morning. 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:29.640 It's it's different doing Brown Ambition at ten am versus 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:32.960 usually recorded in the afternoon. You know. So we shook 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:34.280 it up this week, and I'm like, you. 0:00:34.240 --> 0:00:36.320 Don't get this morning energy, which is not. First of all, 0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:37.680 I love the way the tips of your hair match 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:39.120 your shirt. That looks really cute. 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:41.519 Thank you. I'm trying to hide the fact that I 0:00:41.560 --> 0:00:43.640 haven't done touch ups on these highlights and over a 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:44.440 year because I'm. 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:48.320 Too cheap, lazy. Look, it's giving what the girls are 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:49.159 doing now. I love the. 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:52.440 Color, you know, a little ombray, a little fall hughes. 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:53.240 Yes. 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:57.960 So both of us have been traveling a bit, starting 0:00:58.000 --> 0:00:59.800 to get back in these streets doing stuff. I went 0:00:59.840 --> 0:01:03.800 to for the Congressional Black Caucus for the I had 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:04.640 never been before. 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:06.920 Yeah me either. It was dope. 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:09.120 It was like a real quick in and out, but 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:11.320 it was magical. I mean, I got to moderate this 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:15.080 panel for this organization called the Black Women's Health Imperative. 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:18.440 They're like the oldest nonprofit in the country that focuses 0:01:18.480 --> 0:01:22.600 only on exclusively on Black women's health. And I thought 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:25.120 it was such a cool opportunity because they're actually creating 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:28.200 this whole framework called the Fair Work Initiative, which is 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:30.560 basically like, if you work for a company and you 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:33.000 feel like they are just doing the least when it 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:36.039 comes to actually creating like a least a less hostile 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:39.200 environment for Black women to work, and you want to 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:41.040 just like give them a nudge in the right direction, 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:43.520 you can send them to the Fair Work Initiative website 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:48.400 and it's a database that like they basically partner with 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:54.360 organizations to analyze the way that they operate, what resources 0:01:54.360 --> 0:01:56.720 they have, the happiness, the engagement in Black women, and 0:01:56.760 --> 0:01:59.640 can then give them tools and resources to actually fix things. 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:04.680 So yeah, So this panel, it had Angela Rye had 0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:10.240 the United Way, and had Charlene Wheels, who's this executive 0:02:10.280 --> 0:02:14.360 leadership coach. I had Adua Asamoa Asamosa. She is one 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:16.440 of the co founders of the Crown Act. She was 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:19.000 on the panel. It was cool and I had never 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:24.560 moderated a panel before. I got great feedback. It was fun, 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:28.920 but I you know, like you compartmentalize things. And in 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:31.320 order to like even get myself to a place where 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:33.040 I could show up in DC, I had that big 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:36.320 negotiating masterclass that I was doing and I just had 0:02:36.320 --> 0:02:38.400 to focus all my energy on that, so I didn't 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:42.040 have time to stress about the the CBC. But yeah, 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:44.160 when I got there, I just went with it. The 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:48.080 crowd was great, it was really powerful, and it's the 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:52.040 CBC like I never thought I would ed. I mean, 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:55.360 it was just like Melanin on a hundred, just beautiful. 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:58.720 And I only got one day at the conference. I said, 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:00.120 tod the panel, and then I got a chance to 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.880 walk around, okay, And I went to this huge expo 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:04.800 hall and of course they had like double Dutchers and 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:09.440 a fashion show, these incredible artists like and all these businesses. 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:12.760 Meta had a huge like NASA was there, Twitter was there. 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:15.800 I'm like, these businesses want to buy black, Okay, yes, 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:19.360 and it was beautiful to see. But I gravitated towards 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:22.400 the middle where they had these black women authors and 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:25.080 a lot of them were doing children's books. So I 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:29.000 got rio a bunch of cute little children's books and 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:31.600 I took the train back to New York and it 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:33.560 was it was a fun little trip. 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:38.360 Now I love that. That sounds a'mazic. So I what 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:40.840 was I So the last couple of days I've been 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:43.840 to I had to speak in Detroit, you know, and 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:47.080 so that was how'd that go? It went really well. Honestly, 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:48.560 my favorite part was I got to meet up with 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:50.760 some of my mentees. Y'all know, I have my mentortivity 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:54.480 dot com, and so about twenty of the mentees live 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:56.120 in Detroit. So we all had dinner and it was 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:58.800 such a good time. Oh my gosh, we had such 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:01.560 a good time. It was just nice. I just I 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:03.560 don't know, maybe it's growing up with sisters. I just 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:06.720 love hanging out with like women, you know. And so 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:09.119 we had like such a good time. Then I came 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:12.880 back and then it was super Girl's birthday, her sweet sixteen. 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:18.159 And you know you're screening what what was the what. 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:24.200 She was talking? Yes and so but yeah, so if 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:27.400 you honestly, I mean, it's up on my ig you 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:30.080 see like her her some of her sweet sixteen pictures 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.600 that Tanetta's taken. So if you see like our brown 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:35.640 Ambition pictures, my a lot of my headshots, some of them. 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:40.839 Did you ever get headshots with Tanetda? Yeah? Okay, so 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:44.000 so like a lot of our headshots. Tanetta Bell amazing 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:48.320 black woman who who's a photographer, and she just so 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:51.320 she did Alyssa's like sixteen photo shoot and it's just 0:04:51.560 --> 0:04:53.640 the pictures are just beautiful and Melyssa is so beautiful. 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.479 I'm like, when did you become this beautiful young woman? 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:55.919 Girl? 0:04:56.480 --> 0:05:03.040 She's got red hair. It's giving black arial, I know. 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:05.080 And then the next day I had to fly out 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:09.200 to California because my friend eyvon Orgin she was celebrating 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:13.360 this thing called Night of Nigerian Excellence, and it was 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:15.599 also on Nigerian Independence Day. You know, they got their 0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:18.520 independence from the British. So that was really nice. It 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:19.880 was nice to be in a room with like some 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:22.680 amazing people like the former CMO of Amazon. I didn't 0:05:22.720 --> 0:05:23.560 know she was Nigerian. 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:28.960 You know, Nigeria is synonymous with excellence, right, I mean, yeah, 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:32.080 get to live in you don't get to be Nigerian 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:32.960 America and not be. 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:35.520 You got it. You got to raise the bar. But 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:37.480 I will say I didn't realize some of the things 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:40.440 I learned is that like I didn't Nigeria. There are 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:42.520 so many Nigerians. You know, one of four black people 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:47.000 is Nigerian. Because the population in Nigeria it's so huge. 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:49.360 There's I want to say, it's two hundred million. That's 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:51.360 the population of Nigeria. And they haven't done that. They 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:55.680 haven't done a census since the nineties. Two hundred million people. 0:05:56.839 --> 0:05:58.000 And so what someone was like, do you know my 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:00.360 friend who's nights. I'm like, girl, that's two hundred million US. 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:04.320 I don't know. So that was excellent and I literally 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:07.480 got back yesterday and then tomorrow I fly to New 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:11.279 Orleans because my team and I so every year, well 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.680 before COVID, we would go on like a vacation. We 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:16.599 take the team. So the way we do it, this 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:18.480 is just great for folks who have businesses, is that 0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:21.440 one year of my business partnership, Brill's like always you 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:23.200 take the team on a trip. We had to figure 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:24.680 out how we fund it. And so the way we 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:26.640 funded is that, you know, every month, we make our 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:31.080 gross you know, revenue, you know, and then we subtract 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:33.000 all of our operating expenses and all the things we 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:36.760 have to pay before, but before we take out the taxes, 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:38.960 we set aside, I want to say anywhere from three 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:40.880 to five percent. I can't remember the number, but it's 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:42.760 like three to five percent. I think I want to 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:45.200 say like three percent. We put it in our travel bucket, 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:47.680 and so every month we would kind of give an 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:49.640 update so they'd be like woo who. So we would 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:52.039 update them on here's what we made, here's what we 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.000 spent to make it, Here's how much is in your 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:55.839 travel bucket, and then here's how much. We also have 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.400 a bonus bucket where it's like, okay, at the end 0:06:58.400 --> 0:06:59.960 of the year, this is where we're going to draw bonuses, 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:02.599 so they could get real clear like the bonus bucket. 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:04.599 And typically what we try to do is we try 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:07.960 to say March of last year, the bonus bucket was this. 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:09.880 This year, it's this. That way, if you're thinking you're 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:11.480 going to get the same bonus less or more, you 0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:15.360 can kind of set your expectation otherwise. So anyway, you know, 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:17.520 because then because I remember one year the bonuses weren't 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:19.160 as big, and they're like what happened? And I realized 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:20.880 that's my fault because one's the last time I gave 0:07:20.920 --> 0:07:23.120 the bonus bucket update, and when's the last time I 0:07:23.120 --> 0:07:25.560 did the comparison, you know, one year we had such 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:28.600 an amazing year. The lowest bonus was ten thousand dollars 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:31.440 and that was yes, that was people. That was someone 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:34.000 who was making you know, maybe twenty thousand at this company. 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:35.880 So like that was how because the way the bonus 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:38.160 bucket works is that we set aside the percentage and 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:42.080 then whatever percentage you earn from payroll from the payroll pots, 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:44.640 that's the percentage you earned from the from the bonus bucket. 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:47.520 So if your pay if your pay is ten percent 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:49.400 of our payroll, then you get ten percent of the 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:52.000 bonus bucket. So that's how we even that out, you know, 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:54.200 so made it really like easy, and then it's so 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:57.800 super transparent so you're able to share all the numbers 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:01.480 without sharing personal numbers. So not like Tiffany, you're gonna 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:02.880 get you know, so you can got to do your 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:04.520 own math and be like, oh, okay, I should get 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:07.480 around this month. So it worked really well. But the 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:09.280 transparency part is is key. 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:11.360 Yeah. Setting expectations. 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:13.760 Yeah, so that way people can know like, oh, last 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:16.000 year we did make way more money. This year is 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:19.720 way less. And so so with the trip we have 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:21.360 not gone on a trip in so long. So we 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:25.000 had almost eighty thousand dollars saved up, because typically I 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:26.840 want to say we have like thirty to forty thousand, 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:28.440 but you know, we haven't gone anywhere, and we were 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:31.920 still contributing to the trip bucket, and so I was like, 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:34.520 let's go crazy. I told them, you know, save something 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:37.560 for next year, but let's use sixty thousand, like upwards 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:39.880 of sixty thousand. And so we're doing all the things 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:42.560 in Nola. We always do a spot, then we always 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.760 do some sort of like fun activity. So we're going 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:48.000 to do like a swamp tour, and we always do 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:51.280 I know. And so it's really the first one that 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.200 you get a choice. You get like the slow boat 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:55.720 or like the speedboat. The girls is already like, girl, 0:08:55.760 --> 0:09:00.960 my wig, I want the slow boat. So I'm honestly, 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.760 I'm really even though I'm tired, I'm super excited because 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:06.800 it's it's like a family reunion of all these beautiful 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:08.560 black and brown women that you don't get to see 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:11.360 normally because everyone works digitally. And so you walk in 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:13.120 and you're like, oh, hey, Tmika. You're like, wait, I 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:15.400 never see Tamika and so you're like, oh my god, 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:17.120 So the first time you see someone, you're like, you're 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:20.880 shorter than I thought, Oh you're tarlet that. I thought, yes, 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:23.120 but it's it's going to be such an honestly, it's 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:26.559 such a such an awesome time, and so yeah, I'm 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:29.360 just looking forward to that. But then I think next 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:30.880 week after that, I have to go to Dallas for 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:33.960 speaking engagement and then Dubai with my sister for like 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:37.000 Dallas to Dubai child. When I tell you, I was like, 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:40.880 who set this calendar? But honestly, November December, who check 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:43.160 it for me? No one, I'm not doing it if 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:45.160 it's not on my calendar, which is next to now. 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:47.960 Only thing on my calendar is Brown Ambition. If it's 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:50.680 not on my calendar, it's not happening. November December. I 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:54.120 have shut down the calendar. Only what I love is 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:57.800 in my normal, non busy life. The only consistent thing 0:09:57.880 --> 0:10:00.240 that I have week after week is Brown Ambition. There's 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:02.720 nothing on my calendar, there's no standing. I have Brandna 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:05.720 Bischen on Mondays and that's when we tape typically, but 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:07.480 and I like that, like I don't want to start 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:09.400 to fill up my calendar. I mean, I'm grateful for 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:12.280 the fun things I get to do, but like you know, 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:14.400 I like the peace of like not doing too much. 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:17.679 Yeah, and not have not being like a slave to 0:10:17.720 --> 0:10:20.840 your to your calendar in that way. Yeah, something that 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:22.720 you said resonated with me. First of all, I also 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:24.559 got to meet up with some Mandi money makers in 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:26.680 the DMV and we had a little dinner and it 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:28.400 was so it was beautiful. And you know when I 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:31.440 realized I actually I realized it during FINCN because I 0:10:31.440 --> 0:10:33.320 went to a speaking like one of the sessions and 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:35.720 it was led by a white guy, and as he 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:38.839 was talking, I was like, this is different. I haven't 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:41.360 had to listen to a white man, and like two years, 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:46.000 I've literally had a moment where I was like, oh. 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:50.160 They still make the same jokes, they. 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:55.000 Still say you dig no. But in all seriousness, I 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.400 just man like, and I know you had talked about 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.959 it before, you know, because obviously, budget needs to aid 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:03.520 has always been but for black women, by black women, 0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:06.800 all all of it. But in my business, because I 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:09.520 focus on helping women of color, and because I have 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:12.800 surrounded myself by other women of color entrepreneurs, and because 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:15.600 I'm being so true to this audience, and I'm getting 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:18.400 invited to places like the CBC. But even at the CBC, 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:20.760 it's like, come to this moderate, this panel about black 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:23.920 women in the workplace and how it affects our health, 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:26.640 and I just get the privilege. It is such a 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:30.640 it's so like, it's so healing. I feel like for 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:33.800 all those years in corporate when I was like the 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:35.400 only one or one a few, and I know so 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:37.839 many of us out there feel the same way, and 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:41.000 the power of like finding these spaces and getting to 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:43.680 be in them so much that I'm like, oh, neat, 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:46.160 let's see what Let's see what the cis white guys 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:48.720 are up to these days from them real quick. But 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:51.840 then I get to go back and yeah, it's just yeah, 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:55.840 it's just beautiful and it's a privilege and it really 0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:58.280 is healing. So I feel like if you're someone out 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:02.680 there who's craving that, find us, you know, even finding 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:06.280 my mentor Tiffany, finding the Mandy money Makers, just finding 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.640 sisterhood wherever you can, Like, it's so healing. We need 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:10.280 each other. 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:13.400 Right child, we do. It's funny. I was talking to 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:15.840 one on like my like my in person Mente's yesterday, 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:18.120 and she it kind of came up where, I don't 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:19.480 know if it's a question. She asked her how I 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:22.600 came up. She said, when you're looking for a mentor, 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:26.439 Tiffany for yourself, are you looking for someone who's making 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.679 more money than you or someone who's been in business 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:29.959 longer than you? Like she was kind of trying to 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:32.480 figure out because as she gathers more mentors. And I said, 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:36.520 if I had to choose one, hands down, I like, 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:38.040 if I you know, it's like you only get one, 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:40.800 there's one thing from this mentor, hands down. I much 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:43.640 rather choose a mentor who's been in business longer than me. 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:46.400 I don't care if I'm making a hundred million dollars 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:49.559 a year, you know, and this mentor makes two million 0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:51.760 dollars a year, but they've been in business sixty years. 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:56.360 I would choose that. And she was like, really, I said, girl, 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:58.760 anyone can hit a lick. That's what the kids say. 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:02.560 I'm cool now, meaning like anyone could get lucky and like, 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:05.000 you know, like get a bag, you know, like oh 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:07.280 my gosh, you know, at the right moment, at the 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:10.120 right time. So I know, I have friends who've made 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:12.840 millions of dollars during the pandemic because it was just 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:15.560 the right moment in time. See them in five years, 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.720 I don't know, you know, I pray that they continue 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:21.320 to do be successful. But there's so much nuance. Like 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:24.240 I always mentioned my friend Cabral because he's one of 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:31.319 my gutu, but really Cabrell, the real genius is Mama Denise. Okay, 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:33.839 like elegant Eyes has been in business I think over 0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:38.920 sixty years. His grandparents started it, then his mother took over, 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:41.520 and then he and his sister. They have been through 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:46.120 the Newark riots, they have lived through multiple recessions, they 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:49.360 have lived through the pandemic. This is a brick and 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:54.040 mortar with physical products, glasses, and it's black city, serving 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:58.280 black people, having real in person employees, you know, Like 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:00.360 I don't know that there's a harder business to being. 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:04.080 So there is nothing that Miss Denise has not seen, conquered, 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:06.439 lived through and is still here to tell and profitable 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:08.840 still So even though I mean I don't know, obviously 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:10.520 I can't count the paper. I don't know you know 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:12.000 how much they make. But let's just say I'm making 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:14.880 way more, you know, because I'm Internet, and my overhead 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:18.280 is lower there I cannot compare myself to Miss Denise 0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:20.000 in her knowledge. There's literally times I'm like, Cabro, could 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:24.240 you ask your mother what else to do about? You know? 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:26.800 And so I mean, certainly there's things to learn from 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:30.520 someone who's making a ton of money, obviously, but to me, like, 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:33.600 I'm wanting to be here for a long time, and 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:36.960 there are just some people who, you know, like I 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.240 just can't imagine. Literally there are scenarios that I will 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:40.440 share at Cabrill. He be like, oh, you know what, 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:42.400 I remember my mom dealt with that in two thousand 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:44.880 and one. Let me ask, And I'm like, there's no 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:47.680 scenario that I bring up. And when I tell you, 0:14:48.520 --> 0:14:50.960 I am just so grateful for I'm like I told him, like, yo, 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:52.680 as much as I pays, I'm my business coach. You 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:57.320 my business coach, because there literally there are some scenarios 0:14:57.360 --> 0:14:59.320 that seem so wild and crazy. They're like, there's no 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:01.440 one who could guide me through this. Something will say 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:03.320 why not call Cobroad to see if he's lived through it, 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:05.600 and he's like, oh yeah, yeah yeah, and the advice 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:07.560 he hasn't missed yet and it's been years. We've been 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:09.680 friends for like eight years now. The advice that he's 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:12.520 given me has been invaluable about how to navigate business. 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:14.360 So I just say all that the same. You know, 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:19.240 when looking for business mentorship, not even just business mentorship, 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:23.560 I think mentorship in general to not your turn your 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:26.520 back again someone who might not be making as much 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:30.120 as you aspire to, but has lots of experience, because 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:31.560 there's so much value in that. You know. 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:35.480 It's also the trap of thinking that people's followers equate 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:40.200 to business success. Speak on end listen. I have been 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:42.200 in the rooms where I have been overlooked and I 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:45.760 know exactly why, and it's because, oh it's you know, 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:47.840 they do like the little quick cell phone. Who she 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:49.280 oh not that many? 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:49.680 Okay? 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:52.640 And then I feel dismissed, but I know better, like 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:57.360 there's there are in this space. Especially since TikTok has 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:59.920 become so huge, I feel like people will start to 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:02.720 quate your value with the number of followers you have. 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.720 But as the business coach I've been working with outside 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:08.240 of Tiffany, because you know, Tiffany has other things to 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:12.160 do besides just listening all day, her constantly reminding me 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:15.320 like we don't know their business model and and a 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:17.760 lot of people have even asked me like, how did 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:20.280 how did your you know, Master Classico, how's your webinar going? 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:22.360 Because I had this huge following, I don't know how 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:25.440 to leverage it and how to make a business out 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:27.160 of it. So yeah, I love that you said that. 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:29.480 It's about that substance, right, Yeah, so you got miss 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:31.760 you got Miss Denise on on speed dial or. 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:36.120 You I've been walking into elegantized like, hey, miss Denise. 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:37.120 She survived Willby Parker too. 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:40.160 I mean yes, literally, when you think about what this 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:45.800 woman has survived and thrived through, Like I've never gone 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:48.360 to eleganize in this empty that place. It's right in 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:50.560 the heart of downtown Newark. I mean, I don't think 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:52.440 people understand what happened in the sixties. You know, we 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:55.680 racial unrest was still here, but it was a very 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.520 volatile time and at one point Newark was kind of 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:00.480 like them this is where like you go if you 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:03.720 were like upper middle class black And then they killed 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:06.480 I believe the police killed a young black boy and 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:10.120 the city wasn't you know, rightfully so angry and they 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:12.679 basically burned it down and you had to put in 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:16.480 your window, black owned business, you know, to hopefully survive, 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:19.840 and so do you know, and so imagine after the burndown, 0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:21.840 and what happened was a lot of because new Ork 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:23.639 is also middle class, not just for black people, for 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:26.639 white folks too. White flight happened and they fled the 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:29.400 city and then they took all these resources with them, 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:32.840 and so Newark limped along. There was no funding, no money. 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:36.680 It was dangerous. And she was still here, you know, 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:39.000 or her parents at least. And you think yourself, and 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:42.960 the thing about this Denise, I'm like, I'm I'm understating 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:45.720 how amazing she is. It's not just elegantized. Miss Denise 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:48.159 has owned I hops just because she's like, I just 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:50.160 wanted to try a little franchise and can you imagine 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:54.040 a black woman, you know. And then at one point 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:56.000 she owned another, she owned a couple of restaurants. She 0:17:56.000 --> 0:17:58.080 owned She's not Jamaica and she owned a Jamaica restaurant. 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.199 I was like, just wanted to try my hand. She's 0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:03.400 owned apartment buildings, just want to try on my hand. 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:06.800 I mean, can we mister? I'm telling you she is 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:10.600 like business idol, you know, because she has taken her 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:14.040 knowledge and has applied it to all these different types 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:17.119 of businesses and been successful in all of them. And 0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:21.000 then it's still here and still doing so well, still profitable. 0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:24.200 You know, she's a staple on the community. Like literally, 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:26.760 if you see someone in new glasses, nine times out 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:28.520 of ten, like elegant eyes are like girl, you already 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:32.119 now you know? And so I just you know, I 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:34.359 think that, like Scott's the reason why I mentioned it. 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:36.760 I saw a post where a woman who was a 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:39.119 business coach who's been business for thirty years before she 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:42.000 even started coaching, said that she felt really frustrated because 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:44.320 the coaches that were doing really well are the ones, 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:47.080 you know, who were flashing their Lowis bag and their 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:49.960 Mercedes or whatever. But they had not they had not 0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:52.960 had the experience in business before they started coaching. And 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:55.719 she's just just really frustrating in this field that like 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.080 people will literally be like, yeah, but you don't look fancy, 0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:00.320 so I don't want to work with you. And so 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:01.760