Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
Speaker 2: Should we get right into it?
Speaker 1: Sure? Auden say, why not?
Speaker 3: We have an amazing guest today.
Speaker 1: Who is it here?
Speaker 2: From Australia?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: Okay, ah, you know her.
Speaker 6: She's an author, she's got her own makeup line, she's
Speaker 6: a comedian, and she's the best Instagram celest Barber.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and her UK, Europe and Dubai tour is kicking
Speaker 7: off April fourth, so I'll be sure to check that
Speaker 7: out and check out Blue Beauty at booie dot com.
Speaker 6: Okay, we're sitting here with my girlfriend, Celeste Barber. She's
Speaker 6: not only my girlfriend, she's a lot of things do
Speaker 6: a lot of people.
Speaker 1: How did I find out about you? I found out
Speaker 1: about you?
Speaker 6: I think probably from your Instagram because she does these
Speaker 6: If you don't follow her, which you should be following
Speaker 6: her for those of you who are unfamiliar, she does
Speaker 6: these great kind of how would you describe them?
Speaker 1: Just ripping off idiotic modeling.
Speaker 6: Poses, and then how I would have described it, recreating
Speaker 6: them as a regular person a regular.
Speaker 4: Parties, Yeah, parardies of them, taking inappropriate, unfluttering photos of
Speaker 4: myself and putting them up against models.
Speaker 6: And videos and videos are really where it's at, because
Speaker 6: you know, when you.
Speaker 4: See honestly dogs around me at the moment, it's a
Speaker 4: whole thing.
Speaker 7: Let her sit here, It's fine, okay, as long as
Speaker 7: she's not snorting into the microphone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 6: He made some questionable sounds the other day, Doug, and
Speaker 6: I was like, get out of here. It sounds like
Speaker 6: someone's farting and it doesn't sound like you. Anyway, she
Speaker 6: does Celet's recreates. You know what I like about it
Speaker 6: more than the obvious, which is taking the piss and laughing.
Speaker 6: It really shows you how ridiculous modeling can be, Like
Speaker 6: what sexy is supposed to be. When these girls walk
Speaker 6: around half naked, you know, with like their tongues out
Speaker 6: of their mouths or just in some ridiculous pose that
Speaker 6: you're like, is that sexy?
Speaker 1: Like when did that become sexy?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: But like walking around, you know, you know, holding a
Speaker 4: green smooth like you say, we're likely their tongues hang
Speaker 4: out of the mouth and the caption is just dropping
Speaker 4: the kids to school, right, And.
Speaker 3: That's absolutely not what it looks like.
Speaker 4: Drop when you fucking keeps to school, that's not And
Speaker 4: that's kind of why I started doing it right, because
Speaker 4: it's like magazines are pain in the ass and Mike
Speaker 4: us all hide ourselves, and now there's this social media
Speaker 4: that kind of seeps in without us knowing.
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I'm going to poke fun to that.
Speaker 3: I actually started doing.
Speaker 4: It before videos were available on Instagram. Oh well I've
Speaker 4: been doing this shit for a long time, but it.
Speaker 3: Was just photos.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Well the videos really lend a little bit more
Speaker 6: context to it because we were also just watching this
Speaker 6: episode you did of Drew Barrymore Show where this is
Speaker 6: an issue that happens. We get calls about this all
Speaker 6: the time on this podcast about body image and how
Speaker 6: do you know? Everyone always I can't get down to
Speaker 6: the size I want to get down, and it's like
Speaker 6: I always want to give advice that it is not
Speaker 6: about dieting, you know what I mean. I want to
Speaker 6: give advice about empowering yourself to accept the body that
Speaker 6: you're in and be happy about it and learn like
Speaker 6: how strong, healthy and vibrant you are and where your
Speaker 6: value comes from, because it's not your body image that
Speaker 6: is paramount to everything, you know. I spent so much
Speaker 6: time in my youth and early twenties no, all of
Speaker 6: my twenties just obsessing over what I looked like and
Speaker 6: what a fucking waste of time that it is.
Speaker 4: It's obsessing of it being thin, and I know I'm
Speaker 4: forty two now, so getting into the sexy perimenopause vibes,
Speaker 4: which is a real riot, and how it's like, no, no, ladies,
Speaker 4: you don't need to just do cardio anymore.
Speaker 3: What you need to do is lift weights. And I
Speaker 3: think I wish I fucking knew.
Speaker 4: That earlier, about how important it is to be strong
Speaker 4: and healthy, not just scared and skinny at all times.
Speaker 4: Or it's like skinny but grateful because you can fit
Speaker 4: into clothes and that body image stuff.
Speaker 3: It's it's all encompassing.
Speaker 1: Was that quote? It was it Keith Mass's quote. Nothing.
Speaker 6: It tastes as good as skinny feels. She set us
Speaker 6: up for this demise that we're living out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll blame her for that, absolutely, but it is important.
Speaker 6: I mean, I think you're a pretty grid example of
Speaker 6: being a normal size and exploiting that you know, and
Speaker 6: talking about where your value comes from, because you talked
Speaker 6: about that and Drew barrymore So, I'd love for you
Speaker 6: to say a little bit about that.
Speaker 4: Well, how I look is the least interesting thing about me,
Speaker 4: and I've always kind of known that, Like I've never
Speaker 4: been I look fine, but I haven't really cared, do
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. I remember when I was younger, though,
Speaker 4: my mom said to me, who are going out? I
Speaker 4: don't know if maybe it was a school thing, and
Speaker 4: school was a bag addicts for me, so I probably
Speaker 4: didn't want to go. And mom got me something nice
Speaker 4: to wear, and I was like, oh no, I don't
Speaker 4: want to do it. And she said to me, you
Speaker 4: are scared to look nice. You are scared to actually
Speaker 4: look good because you think you can only do one
Speaker 4: and you can't do the other.
Speaker 3: And when I was younger, of course, I was like,
Speaker 3: fuck you, mommy, you don't know me. I look beautiful
Speaker 3: all the time.
Speaker 4: You know. I was always defensive. But as I got old,
Speaker 4: I was like, I think that's right. I think I'm like,
Speaker 4: I know, I just have to know. My currency is
Speaker 4: my sense of humor, my personality, all those.
Speaker 3: Sort of things. People.
Speaker 4: You know, I'm very open with people and I'm not
Speaker 4: allowed to kind of be But as I got older,
Speaker 4: I was like, I really think my currency of being
Speaker 4: funny and kind and cutting through shit is a really
Speaker 4: beautiful thing and it makes me feel like kind of
Speaker 4: really gorgeous.
Speaker 3: In that world.
Speaker 4: And you know, it's fucking tricky because we want to
Speaker 4: point at someone to blame them, but it's it's everywhere.
Speaker 4: Society just looks at women and goes, if you look
Speaker 4: a certain way, then certain doors will open for you.
Speaker 4: If you don't look a certain way, all the best.
Speaker 4: Sorry about that. So, like even the body positive movements,
Speaker 4: like they put Ashley Graham on one catwalk and they're like, brilliant,
Speaker 4: We've ticked that box.
Speaker 3: You know, we're being inclusive now. I never I never.
Speaker 4: Started this to get caught up in the body positive movement.
Speaker 4: I'm very happy for that movement to pick me up,
Speaker 4: but I kind of always did it just to make
Speaker 4: people fucking laugh and just to.
Speaker 3: See how absurd it is.
Speaker 4: And I did this thing in my first stand up tour,
Speaker 4: had a section in my lihye.
Speaker 6: I just want to say that the heavy panting is
Speaker 6: celast vagina.
Speaker 1: And they don't want you to think that that's me
Speaker 1: or anything.
Speaker 3: They've heard that before.
Speaker 1: We have we have MEMSI on the cell for today.
Speaker 1: Catherine's dog.
Speaker 4: Yeah, breathing heavy about if you're hearing, that's what you're hearing.
Speaker 3: No one's listening to me. That the fuck is going on.
Speaker 1: In the background. It's like a doggy.
Speaker 3: It's a whole other demographic for podcasts.
Speaker 1: Sorry to interrupt, no please.
Speaker 4: In my first show, I did a section brave versus empowering.
Speaker 4: So when I would post a photo, whoever the model was,
Speaker 4: I'd look on that and underneath a lot of it,
Speaker 4: you know, because they're not usually wearing much. It'd be like, oh,
Speaker 4: that's really empowering for women. Yeah, look at us when
Speaker 4: we can get get our tits out and look amazing.
Speaker 4: And then when I do my parody and put my
Speaker 4: photo next to it, everyone said how brave. It was like,
Speaker 4: she is for putting that body out into the world.
Speaker 4: So a gorgeous model does it and it's empowering for women.
Speaker 3: Then I do it, it's like, oh God, the children,
Speaker 3: it's so brave of her. I was like, that's not
Speaker 3: fucking brave.
Speaker 6: We have to redefine a lot of words in society.
Speaker 3: Absolutely.
Speaker 6: I remember breaking my arm when I was a little
Speaker 6: girl and them telling me at the hospital how brave
Speaker 6: I was, and I'm like, I didn't try to try
Speaker 6: arm I didn't didn't do it on purpose. I didn't
Speaker 6: run in front of a car to save another kid.
Speaker 1: I fucking fell over my dog. Like, there's nothing brave
Speaker 1: about this. Even at eight, I was like, that's not
Speaker 1: the right use of that word.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and why and always with women and girls, you're
Speaker 4: being so brave. It's like, no, you were just fucking uncoordinated.
Speaker 4: You fell over your dog.
Speaker 3: It's not bright.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: You also said something on Drew's show that I loved,
Speaker 6: which is you your husband is a tree true?
Speaker 1: What is the word? Not an arborist?
Speaker 6: He's an arborist okay, yeah, and you were talking about
Speaker 6: what that means. You know that he gets up in
Speaker 6: trim's trees and you know takes care of trees.
Speaker 1: But you said that you've retired him.
Speaker 6: And we both loved that because we were like, thank you,
Speaker 6: Like that is exactly right.
Speaker 3: You love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he loves that.
Speaker 3: I absolutely love that he.
Speaker 6: Had Some husband is her husband, And yeah, I've met
Speaker 6: him in person. We see each other in Sydney, so
Speaker 6: Last and I have had a burgeoning friendship for many years.
Speaker 6: We keep running into each other in different parts of
Speaker 6: the world and they were nice enough to come to
Speaker 6: my show and one of his shows in Sydney.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, and he is very handsome and I.
Speaker 3: Was really hot.
Speaker 6: I was like, good for you, Like I love this
Speaker 6: reverse dynamic, which is sadly to say a reverse dynamic, as.
Speaker 4: We say, absolutely, and he is incredible about that as well.
Speaker 4: We have, you know, groups of friends where the couple
Speaker 4: the husband is you know, well he's a like a
Speaker 4: surfer or a professional surfer, but his wife has been
Speaker 4: looking after those children, taking them around the world on
Speaker 4: these world tours and stuff.
Speaker 3: But Arpy, even that's my husband's name.
Speaker 4: Arpy even points out that he gets so much more
Speaker 4: of an audience as being a stay at home dad
Speaker 4: than our friend does with being a stay at home mom.
Speaker 4: Like they'll be like, that's so amazing that so hang on,
Speaker 4: you do the lunches for the boys every morning.
Speaker 3: That's amazing. And he's like, yeah, a dad, so do
Speaker 3: my friends.
Speaker 4: Like there's sort of those ladies over there, but there's
Speaker 4: just no audience for it.
Speaker 3: And people always say how lucky I am, are you?
Speaker 3: I'm lucky to have him.
Speaker 4: I'm like, bitch, I'm flying business class every way and
Speaker 4: you're all lucky.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and you're also fucking flying around the world doing
Speaker 6: your thing and but busting your ass. Yeah, it is
Speaker 6: so funny how imbalanced the like the rewards systems are
Speaker 6: for men who stay at home. But I mean, I'm
Speaker 6: hoping that will change, even in the face of what
Speaker 6: we're dealing with politically, because women are the reason why
Speaker 6: this election happened the way it is because of men,
Speaker 6: I believe is because men are so threatened anyway by
Speaker 6: women's success. And it's like, you can be as threatened
Speaker 6: to you as you want. We're still succeeding. There are
Speaker 6: too many women that are like paying for their families
Speaker 6: and that are the breadwinners. Absolutely, and there are many
Speaker 6: women that are single that are doing it, that are
Speaker 6: choosing not to have children, and that's a huge threat
Speaker 6: to men.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's fine, be threatened, but just go over
Speaker 4: there and be threatened, Like, get out of the fucking
Speaker 4: way and be threatened so we can just keep going.
Speaker 6: Yeah, let's talk about your Also, you came when you
Speaker 6: were launching your makeup line.
Speaker 3: Booie Yeah Bowie Boe beauty.
Speaker 1: She has a great makeup line that she just launched
Speaker 1: and just launched here in the States as well.
Speaker 6: If you're listening nationally, you're listening listening domestically, if you're
Speaker 6: looking ark, if you're listening to this on AM stereo.
Speaker 6: That's how my father used to go, say a stereo.
Speaker 6: He's like, turn on the stereo. I'm like, where are
Speaker 6: you from? Philadelphia?
Speaker 1: Anyway? My favorite product is that eyebrow enhanser.
Speaker 3: Bring back the bush.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, eyebrow bush.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because the nineties fucking stole them.
Speaker 1: The nineties stole them.
Speaker 6: And also once you're dealing, once you hit forty five
Speaker 6: or forty, your eyebrows all of a sudden turn into
Speaker 6: I don't know what.
Speaker 3: I mean, wispy little same with my fucking hair. What's that.
Speaker 4: It's like all my hair has now started growing out
Speaker 4: of my face and my fucking neck and not on
Speaker 4: my head, like it's thinning and it's not like feathers.
Speaker 1: I like the idea of neck hair.
Speaker 3: It was like goiter hair. It's and that thing.
Speaker 4: The other day I was standing and I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: this is really nice light, and my husband went yet
Speaker 4: hang on and walked over and just like went yoink
Speaker 4: and pulled it one and out of my neck, and
Speaker 4: I was like, and asked the fucking feedback.
Speaker 3: He goes, you needed the feedback before you feel yourself.
Speaker 3: Got these long, luscious locks that come out of my neck.
Speaker 6: I know my sister's always goes like this. My sister
Speaker 6: Shanna always goes like this. She's always feeling for her
Speaker 6: whisker to come in. And I'm like, can you stop
Speaker 6: rubbing your beard?
Speaker 3: It's like she stop playing.
Speaker 6: Come to think of it, I just spent the weekend
Speaker 6: with her on the East Coast and she wasn't doing that,
Speaker 6: So maybe she learned her.
Speaker 1: I was like, you pluck your hairs before you come out.
Speaker 3: She probably got someone to shave her face before you
Speaker 3: turned up.
Speaker 6: But you know, no, there the thicker ones, you know,
Speaker 6: you know, the black ones, not the little like I
Speaker 6: shaved my face all the time.
Speaker 1: I say, I raise her right result, it's a great
Speaker 1: X folio.
Speaker 3: It's so good.
Speaker 4: But then it gets a little bit I actually did
Speaker 4: it before I came over here, got a little bit
Speaker 4: a little bit of stubble there. Now. I was talking
Speaker 4: to a friend the other day and I thought she
Speaker 4: just had like a little eyelash here, and I leant
Speaker 4: over and went and pull but it was connected and
Speaker 4: it's just.
Speaker 3: A long one and I went, oh, that's connected.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry somewhere and it was like really long, and
Speaker 4: White said it wasn't there last night here this morning.
Speaker 3: I didn't know was connected.
Speaker 1: The joys of aging as a woman.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you need good friends, but no hair on my eyebrows.
Speaker 4: So that's why, Yeah, bring back the bush, got to
Speaker 4: draw the bastards back in.
Speaker 1: How long did it take you to develop your brand?
Speaker 1: To create it?
Speaker 4: And well, it's been in my head for a long time,
Speaker 4: but you know, breaking news ADHD, So I kind.
Speaker 3: Of I couldn't. I couldn't get it out of my head.
Speaker 4: I was kind of at a point where I was like,
Speaker 4: I'm happy just to go to parties now for the
Speaker 4: next five years and be like I've.
Speaker 3: Got a really good idea for a makeup brand and
Speaker 3: do fuck all about it.
Speaker 4: And then I met Claire, my business partner, and she
Speaker 4: was like, you're a lot and made it happen.
Speaker 3: So I reckon.
Speaker 4: We've been developing for about a year and a half,
Speaker 4: two years, getting it all together and then.
Speaker 1: Read to get something off the ground.
Speaker 6: I mean, I've tried to develop things in the past
Speaker 6: and I've lost interest halfway through.
Speaker 1: This is too long.
Speaker 3: I'm exactly the same way.
Speaker 6: Too long.
Speaker 1: I don't care.
Speaker 4: We launched when I was doing a world tour, which
Speaker 4: was great because already I was like, do we really
Speaker 4: want to do a makeup brand. They're like, we've sunk
Speaker 4: a fur bit of money, Yes, idiot, yes we're gonna
Speaker 4: do it.
Speaker 3: I get really bored of stuff as well.
Speaker 6: So and so what was your impetus, Like, what was
Speaker 6: your ethos behind the bround?
Speaker 4: Well, I wanted it to be makeup that you just
Speaker 4: you can't fuck up because I find, like I said,
Speaker 4: I'm forty two, and the only thing kind of in
Speaker 4: the makeup space in the beauty space now for women
Speaker 4: over the age of six is like anti aging serum
Speaker 4: or anti aging cream. Like there's nothing really directly targeted
Speaker 4: at us. It's like we just my eleven year old niece.
Speaker 4: It's all for her. And I wanted to make it
Speaker 4: uncomplicated and nothing that you need to watch a seventy
Speaker 4: five minute makeup tutorial to understand. Like, I love makeup.
Speaker 4: I have a face for makeup, so I want I
Speaker 4: really do which was great when I was younger, right
Speaker 4: because at school you know, I look like a slapped ass.
Speaker 4: But then for a year twelve formul I rocked up
Speaker 4: with makeup people like them, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: you're bulling me out to get that's right, I've got
Speaker 4: it going on.
Speaker 3: So I fucking love makeup and I wanted to.
Speaker 4: We've started with just five products, and I just use
Speaker 4: every single day, all the time to get you out
Speaker 4: the door for busy moms. For I heard someone say
Speaker 4: the other day that when you're in your forties, like
Speaker 4: forty onward, you're moving into your invisible era. Oh I
Speaker 4: don't want that, Like, I just feel like I'm getting
Speaker 4: more excellent now.
Speaker 3: I remember you.
Speaker 4: Saying that one like, you've never been in better shape
Speaker 4: in your life, You've never been stronger, more successful.
Speaker 3: And that's exactly how I feel.
Speaker 4: So and it's it's for like Wendy and Wichita who's
Speaker 4: listening on the stereo. It's for those girls who come
Speaker 4: to my shows all around the world. They're like placeholders
Speaker 4: for everyone else in their life who are going, oh,
Speaker 4: I've just used the same stuff forever because I don't understand.
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I got you. This is fun, easy
Speaker 4: and makes you It's all about like the best version
Speaker 4: of you. That's what I'm interested in, the best version
Speaker 4: of you, and that's what Boobie does.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's also low maintenance because I'm easy.
Speaker 6: I'm not into you, like I like five products because
Speaker 6: if I'm not camera, even for this podcast, you know,
Speaker 6: I slap on some blush and some lip balm and
Speaker 6: I'm like, let's just hope for the best.
Speaker 3: And I think that's what most of us do when.
Speaker 6: I can't be bothered with all of the shenanigans around
Speaker 6: makeup and all of this stuff.
Speaker 1: It's like taking supplements. I don't want to do that either,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 6: I'd just rather get a shot a week with everything
Speaker 6: in it and he'd done with it.
Speaker 3: I'm exactly the same.
Speaker 4: My kids were given all these supplements a while ago,
Speaker 4: and try and get kids fucking tablets. I was like,
Speaker 4: you get that at six am, you've got to have
Speaker 4: that at five, you know, and all these things. And
Speaker 4: I just said to my husband, let's just not give
Speaker 4: them anything, and we'll pay for a fucking kidney transplant
Speaker 4: or whatever when they're sixteen.
Speaker 3: I'd rather that. I'm not doing this shit.
Speaker 1: How old are your boys now?
Speaker 3: Ten and thirteen.
Speaker 1: Do they respect you?
Speaker 3: You just answered your own question.
Speaker 4: No, I'm I'm a lot for them say yes, sure, No,
Speaker 4: they don't respect me.
Speaker 3: People love their dad.
Speaker 1: Do they think you're funny?
Speaker 3: More and more?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 1: Yoh more, because usually.
Speaker 6: They go through a phase between those ages or around
Speaker 6: those ages where they start to think, probably like thirteen
Speaker 6: to sixteen more, where they are like, you're not funny,
Speaker 6: You're not cool. That's the age of that. Yeah, right,
Speaker 6: we'll turn on you. Yeah exactly. They're kind of getting
Speaker 6: there a little bit more. My kids don't have social
Speaker 6: media and hopefully they never will. They don't have a
Speaker 6: game or anything like that. Really, but that's lucky your husband.
Speaker 6: I'm really full on about it. I'm really fucking full
Speaker 6: on you.
Speaker 4: I just know I don't want to and I have
Speaker 4: a really overactive brain and you know, having ADHD low dopamine.
Speaker 3: So this thing just fucks me as it is. I
Speaker 3: don't want that for my kids.
Speaker 4: We've just always been really full on about it and
Speaker 4: kind of feel like it's easier to say no from
Speaker 4: the beginning than give it to them and try and
Speaker 4: take it off them, because they become fucking heroinautic monsters.
Speaker 4: If you take it from them. So my kids are
Speaker 4: the Moor kids. When we go out for dinner with
Speaker 4: friends and all the other kids are on their phone,
Speaker 4: my kids sit come and sit down and go, I
Speaker 4: want to play, you know, make them take cards and
Speaker 4: they all the kids end up playing, but we're just quiet.
Speaker 1: You know, it's pronounced, you know.
Speaker 3: Just so you know.
Speaker 4: So that's what you guys, like, what game are you
Speaker 4: peasants playing in Australia?
Speaker 1: But how do they respect?
Speaker 3: Like, well, their.
Speaker 4: Friends are on social media. So my oldest son came
Speaker 4: home a few weeks ago. I was like, mom, my
Speaker 4: friends have found you on TikTok And I was like
Speaker 4: are you good?
Speaker 1: Are you are right?
Speaker 3: And he goes, it's just weird. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you don't need to get it.
Speaker 4: That's okay, but it's what I do and you'll be fine.
Speaker 4: And also and then he's like, oh, I don't know,
Speaker 4: it just makes me feel weird. I'm like, well, I
Speaker 4: kind of know Kevin Hart.
Speaker 3: He's like, oh, yeah, that's better. Like if I say that,
Speaker 3: if I drop a name, He's like, it's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 3: You just have to play.
Speaker 6: How do you how do you justify you having social
Speaker 6: media as a profession and them not even being allowed
Speaker 6: to be on it, like.
Speaker 3: I say, it's work, yeah, which which it is for me.
Speaker 4: I'm hoping that we have been so full on about
Speaker 4: it that they have almost kind of missed the time
Speaker 4: of being.
Speaker 3: Obsessed with it.
Speaker 4: It's not like a known thing to them, because that's
Speaker 4: what it is, right, It's just fucking habit picking up
Speaker 4: your phone. So I'm hoping that that has passed for them.
Speaker 4: But look, they'll they have phones and everything, but they
Speaker 4: I ask them as well to call me out. Sometimes
Speaker 4: if I'm on my phone, I'll get them to say, Mom,
Speaker 4: are you working or no? And I'll be like, oh shit,
Speaker 4: I'm not. And I'll get rid of my phone because
Speaker 4: I just go into a vorte or I just line go,
Speaker 4: yeah I'm working, I'm not.
Speaker 6: I keep waiting, like I guess this is kind of
Speaker 6: like similar analogous to the Kardashians, Like I kept waiting
Speaker 6: for it to end, and it just kept going and going,
Speaker 6: like I kept waiting for social media for there to
Speaker 6: be like a backlash on social media, Like no more.
Speaker 6: Everyone understands how damaging the impact of it is and
Speaker 6: what we're going to do. I mean what we should
Speaker 6: do as a society, which is like to take a break.
Speaker 6: You know, it's like all this misinformation, all this conspiracy
Speaker 6: theory bullshit. But that would require like an enlightenment, you know,
Speaker 6: through like a global enlightenment, and we're definitely not there.
Speaker 3: No, I think.
Speaker 4: I mean I've been here for a week or so now,
Speaker 4: but I think I saw on line that at home
Speaker 4: in Australia we're bringing in our pre ministers bringing legislation
Speaker 4: that kids under sixteen I'm not allowed to have social media.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I don't know another reason they moved to Australia.
Speaker 3: Another yeah, but don't tell everyone to move to Australia. No,
Speaker 3: I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: There's so many places you can go.
Speaker 4: So I think they're looking to bring that in again.
Speaker 4: I don't know how you fucking police that.
Speaker 7: But some of the younger people too are like not
Speaker 7: using social media nineteen hours a day or nothing.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, And I think if you can get past
Speaker 6: the window of it being so like I have three
Speaker 6: nieces and they're on social media, but they're not.
Speaker 1: Addicted to social media. Yeah yeah, like they don't post.
Speaker 6: They post once in a while, you know what, I mean,
Speaker 6: and I like that cadence more.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they don't post much, this is the thing, and
Speaker 4: they don't kind of post much.
Speaker 1: The kids.
Speaker 4: I've noticed the young'uns, like the teens, early early twenties
Speaker 4: kind of that they're not posters. It's like the twenty
Speaker 4: year olds that post. And so those young ones are
Speaker 4: watching their stuff. My stepdaughters are twenty five and twenty three,
Speaker 4: and the twenty three ye old doesn't post. She might
Speaker 4: post once every six weeks because she went out to
Speaker 4: a party or something. But they're not active on it,
Speaker 4: which I don't know if I love, because just being
Speaker 4: passive on it and watching it and just infiltrating everything
Speaker 4: you do, I think that can be a bit more
Speaker 4: dangerous and actively partaking in it.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you have one of those limits on your phone
Speaker 1: where you like but ignore? Yeah, ignoring.
Speaker 6: My friend is like, you can put a limit, and
Speaker 6: I was like, you can you tell me we could
Speaker 6: fucking ignore the limit.
Speaker 4: The limit comes up, it says fifteen minute limit, and
Speaker 4: then the biggest, brightest blue button under it says ignore.
Speaker 3: You go ignore. It's just easier.
Speaker 1: How was your tour this summer? After I left you?
Speaker 1: After I saw you was it.
Speaker 4: The Yeah, I saw you after my tour I was
Speaker 4: in I was here May June.
Speaker 3: Fucking great, but you did it fucking great.
Speaker 1: Do you love being on tour?
Speaker 3: I love it?
Speaker 1: What are you?
Speaker 4: I'm getting better at it as well because I try
Speaker 4: so many different ways of doing having kids right and
Speaker 4: living in Australia, having touring over here.
Speaker 3: I can't just do weekends.
Speaker 4: I'd love to do Thursday, Friday, Saturday or like you
Speaker 4: know how you do it, but I can't, and we're
Speaker 4: not moving over here, so I just have to why
Speaker 4: is it not an amazing reason to move here? Have
Speaker 4: I missed something I can help? Terrifying? So yeah, I
Speaker 4: just kind of come over and bang it out over
Speaker 4: six weeks when I'm in America. But so when I
Speaker 4: go home to Australia, I do try and do the Thursday, Friday,
Speaker 4: Saturdays and come home and I love it.
Speaker 3: I love life performance.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, and it's also nice.
Speaker 6: And it's also nice that cadence, because you could, you know,
Speaker 6: you work on the weekends, you come home, you recover
Speaker 6: one day, it takes a day or two and recover
Speaker 6: from the travel and whatever you got up to, and
Speaker 6: then you go back out.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like the perfect schedule.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just wish I could do that over here
Speaker 4: or make the same money I make over here home, right,
Speaker 4: But you know no, but I love it.
Speaker 6: Okay, on that we're going to take a break and
Speaker 6: we'll be right back with Celeste barbera And we're back.
Speaker 1: With Celeste barber.
Speaker 6: She's our very special guest all the way from the
Speaker 6: Gold Coast.
Speaker 1: Right, that's where you.
Speaker 3: Live, kind of south of the Gold Coast.
Speaker 1: I'm still unclear about it.
Speaker 3: I like that though. I like people being unclear. That's
Speaker 3: fine with me. It's fine with me. I saw someone actually.
Speaker 4: When I was home. I was in a shop in
Speaker 4: Sydney and she was like, what are you doing? No, actually,
Speaker 4: I was in a shop near where I live.
Speaker 3: She goes, what are you doing here? And I went, oh,
Speaker 3: I live around the err and she went no, you.
Speaker 4: Don't what She goes, no, you don't you live in
Speaker 4: la And I went, all right, I'm just visiting.
Speaker 3: I've just come here to visit. Like, sure, let's go
Speaker 3: with that.
Speaker 6: That reminds me of this book I read once, Rebecca Solnet.
Speaker 6: It was called Late in the Dark or Phoning Late
Speaker 6: in the dark or something. Anyway, it was very profound
Speaker 6: book about being a woman. But she it starts out
Speaker 6: with this chapter about and this is different because it's
Speaker 6: a male and female dynamic, but she wrote she starts
Speaker 6: out with this chapter talking about how she was at
Speaker 6: a dinner party and this man came up to her
Speaker 6: and was telling her about her own book, quoting her book,
Speaker 6: saying like, you should really read this book. It just
Speaker 6: came up Mauchur in conversation. She's like, I actually I
Speaker 6: wrote that book. And he was like, no, you did it.
Speaker 4: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: She's like, yes, I wrote that book that you're telling me.
Speaker 6: That the one that you're man explaining to me about
Speaker 6: I fucking wrote.
Speaker 4: When you're telling me the plotline about yeah, I wrote that. Also,
Speaker 4: do you find this one? People will probably not with you,
Speaker 4: but in the street when they go, oh, hi, I
Speaker 4: get this.
Speaker 3: A lot of people like why do I know you?
Speaker 1: I find that to be the most annoying question.
Speaker 4: I'm like well, and they go, did you go to
Speaker 4: so and so school? And I'm like, don't do this, please,
Speaker 4: it's not how you know. She goes, No, hang on
Speaker 4: a minute. Now, you're a few years ahead of me.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, this is going how I fucking hoped
Speaker 4: it to go for you. But then someone goes, no,
Speaker 4: oh no, that's right. You're working that cafe down the
Speaker 4: road from me. I was like, yep, I do.
Speaker 3: And I'm just taking the summer off, see ya. People
Speaker 3: tell you how they know you be like, no, don't
Speaker 3: do this to it.
Speaker 6: Last weekend, I was in New York City and I
Speaker 6: got in the elevator with this couple. As I was
Speaker 6: walking into my hotel, I could see that she was
Speaker 6: like ogling me and you know, probably recognize me. So
Speaker 6: we get in the elevator and and she and her
Speaker 6: husband are both like staring at me. I'm on my phone,
Speaker 6: actively pretending to be on my phone, you know, like,
Speaker 6: please don't interact. I'm not in the mood for this
Speaker 6: kind of interaction. I can already tell you're gonna be annoying,
Speaker 6: you know. And she goes, she goes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 6: We're from Toronto. And that was it, and I went
Speaker 6: what And she goes, we're from Toronto. How do we
Speaker 6: know you?
Speaker 4: If?
Speaker 6: Like, you have to understand when you say something like that,
Speaker 6: what am I supposed to do next?
Speaker 3: East My credits exactly, Well, you.
Speaker 1: May know me from.
Speaker 4: Me on the Drew.
Speaker 6: Barrymore Show, and like, are you freaking kidding me? Like
Speaker 6: it's so stupid, like and she goes, it's just killing
Speaker 6: I go, it's not killing you.
Speaker 3: You just walked inside from the lobby into.
Speaker 1: The elevator three minutes. Nothing is killing you about the situation.
Speaker 1: You could have easily ignored it and just never figured
Speaker 1: out who I was.
Speaker 3: Well, mate it up.
Speaker 1: But now I'm just like, I'm Chelsea Hammler and that's it.
Speaker 6: That's all you get, and you figure it out from
Speaker 6: there if you're not familiar.
Speaker 3: And was She like, no, you Chelse, you are.
Speaker 1: She's like Elizabeth Banks.
Speaker 6: Okay, we're going to take some callers and questions and
Speaker 6: we're going to give real life advice.
Speaker 1: This is what we do here.
Speaker 3: So I have the fucking will. Let's go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, let's get the party started.
Speaker 7: Well, Heather writes in and she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm
Speaker 7: an avid listener and a longtime fan, and I can't
Speaker 7: wait to see you in Vegas. Thinking of going for
Speaker 7: my future ex husband's birthday. Oh I love it, love
Speaker 7: that I've been married for almost twenty years, and we
Speaker 7: have two children adopted from foster care. A few months ago,
Speaker 7: I was out of town with the kids and he
Speaker 7: welcomed an online hooker into our home, and when he
Speaker 7: passed out drunk, she stole my jewelry and makeup. He
Speaker 7: proceeded to blame the kids for stealing it, lied about
Speaker 7: it for days until I found the deleted text on
Speaker 7: his phone. I knew, damn well a woman stole the
Speaker 7: things because it was so precisely done. I should thank
Speaker 7: her for the evidence. He wants to quote fix things,
Speaker 7: but I am not down for that. We've had many
Speaker 7: prior conversations regarding infidelity and my firm stance of not
Speaker 7: tolerating it, so needless to say, I am done. Our
Speaker 7: immediate family and close friends know what's going on. My
Speaker 7: kids and I are in therapy. So my question is this,
Speaker 7: how do I tell others, mutual friends, coworkers, my longtime patience,
Speaker 7: I'm a physical therapist when they say how's the family
Speaker 7: or how are you? And I'm not sure what to say.
Speaker 7: The honest answer feels too raw for some people, but
Speaker 7: acting like nothing is wrong feels ick. Also, what's the
Speaker 7: middle ground? Thanks for your advice. Heather, Oh I have
Speaker 7: I know.
Speaker 6: I know well, first of all, you don't owe anyone
Speaker 6: no explanation. I understand that I desire to want to
Speaker 6: be truthful and transparent when you're going through something, because
Speaker 6: it's like when someone says how are you and you're
Speaker 6: about to break down and you're like, I'm good. You know,
Speaker 6: I understand what the desire and you have, and you
Speaker 6: have every rate to also be transparent to the degree
Speaker 6: that you're comfortable with. So you can easily just say
Speaker 6: we're actually gonna separate. You know, we're separating without giving them.
Speaker 6: Your doctor's not going to be like, what happened. You
Speaker 6: don't have to say I caught him with an online
Speaker 6: hooker who stole my jewelry.
Speaker 1: Although that's gonna be a good story later down the road.
Speaker 4: See, I would I would say that that is my advice.
Speaker 4: I not write into me, but she's really that would
Speaker 4: be my advice. Heather has taken too much time looking
Speaker 4: after other people. I think she should say to a gynecologist,
Speaker 4: I'm happy you ask.
Speaker 3: He's a piece of ship.
Speaker 4: Where in Vegas he gets some hooker, she steals my shit.
Speaker 4: She he blames the kids that now I'm here, I
Speaker 4: would just say it outright.
Speaker 6: That's also an option, also an option. There's really there's
Speaker 6: really no losing way to deal with this situation.
Speaker 3: Don'torry about how the people feel about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I wouldn't help people, So I agree.
Speaker 6: When you're going through some sort of like maelstrom of
Speaker 6: emotion like that, and you're dealing with breaking the break
Speaker 6: of your marriage, like the last thing you have to
Speaker 6: worry about is how other people are viewing you.
Speaker 1: Who gives a shit?
Speaker 6: And like, yeah, take this as a new license in life,
Speaker 6: like our new Lisa on life, Like you're moving forward
Speaker 6: and this is your attitude.
Speaker 3: Fuck off, yeah, fuck off?
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, Heather, there you have it.
Speaker 7: Well, our next question comes from Amanda, and she's gonna
Speaker 7: be joining us here, Brad, we have Amanda, right.
Speaker 1: She comes out from the kitchen.
Speaker 2: Amanda's welcome, Amanda, Delly, Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 7: My name is Amanda, and I'm currently in my thirteenth
Speaker 7: year in public education. While I'm financially stable, i am
Speaker 7: unequivocally unhappy. In an effort to change up my routine
Speaker 7: and job role, I've transitioned from classroom teacher to instructional
Speaker 7: coach and back again a couple of times, but to
Speaker 7: no avail. Despite the knowledge that I'm doing important work,
Speaker 7: I've lost my passion. I feel as though I'm at
Speaker 7: a personal crossroads and need your guidance. Since I was young,
Speaker 7: I've always wanted to be a writer. I dabbled in
Speaker 7: music journalism in college and have done some freelance work.
Speaker 7: Though I haven't been published in quite a while and
Speaker 7: my writing is basically confined to journaling, I can't shake
Speaker 7: the feeling that now would be a great time to
Speaker 7: reignite that passion and challenge myself to completely shift my
Speaker 7: career trajectory. At almost forty one years old, with a
Speaker 7: wealth of education and life experience, it seems like there's
Speaker 7: no time like the present. I can't found them taking
Speaker 7: a pay cut, especially being a single woman living in
Speaker 7: San Diego, the alone, walking away from the only constant
Speaker 7: in my life for the past thirteen years.
Speaker 2: So where do I begin.
Speaker 7: I'm trying to get back to structured writing time, connect
Speaker 7: with friends who are already successful in the industry, and
Speaker 7: even have the opportunity to reconnect with a former writing coach.
Speaker 7: I guess I'm just hoping for some insight from someone
Speaker 7: who I admire and respect. How do you hold yourself
Speaker 7: accountable and practice the self discipline needed to be a
Speaker 7: success in this field? How do I pursue this avenue
Speaker 7: that lacks job security? My next steps feel murky, and
Speaker 7: for the first time in my life, I'm scared to
Speaker 7: take the leap Amanda.
Speaker 1: Hi Abdi Hi.
Speaker 6: First of all, it sounds like you're doing all of
Speaker 6: the things that you need to be doing to get
Speaker 6: the party started.
Speaker 8: Yes, And since I've written in I've essentially given myself
Speaker 8: permission to exit this profession. I started to realize how
Speaker 8: emotionally drained I've been at the end of every workday,
Speaker 8: left no room to try to focus on this like
Speaker 8: creative endeavor. So I've been very aggressively looking for new
Speaker 8: work that will just pay the bills, but let me
Speaker 8: focus on, you know, my personal hobbies and where I'd
Speaker 8: like to kind of go professionally.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like, under the assumption that the writing isn't going
Speaker 6: to pay dividends right away, right, you need something to
Speaker 6: like tide you over while you're exploring.
Speaker 1: The writing, right exactly, So do you know what that's
Speaker 1: going to be or you is that one of your questions.
Speaker 8: Well, that's just kind of still I've actually been working
Speaker 8: with a job coach to like update my resume and
Speaker 8: because for jobs is so different than it was thirteen
Speaker 8: years ago that I've had to do a lot of
Speaker 8: kind of work on that end to get the applications
Speaker 8: out there. So that's what I'm just trying to be
Speaker 8: really focused on doing so I can get to a
Speaker 8: better place where I'm not so miserable going to work
Speaker 8: every day.
Speaker 6: Absolutely, that's not going to give you any energy to
Speaker 6: be creative.
Speaker 3: Right exactly.
Speaker 8: So now it's just kind of like continuing to put
Speaker 8: that out there and just starting to like build in
Speaker 8: some structured writing time. I guess like my big questions
Speaker 8: are kind of like how to hold yourself accountable for
Speaker 8: something that's like seemingly done in isolation.
Speaker 1: Well easily.
Speaker 6: I mean it's kind of like everything you do in isolation,
Speaker 6: like whether you meditate, whether you like do your positive affirmations,
Speaker 6: whether you like I do all of those things. I
Speaker 6: exercise alone mostly I have a trainer, but that kind
Speaker 6: of feels like I'm alone anyway because of his personality.
Speaker 1: But I I do.
Speaker 6: With writing, I'm I don't really I'm not a big
Speaker 6: person about structure, Like I kind of like let the
Speaker 6: when I'm feeling motivated or inspired, like you know, when
Speaker 6: I read something really great that makes me want to
Speaker 6: write something, you know, so my creative, my creativity, I
Speaker 6: should say.
Speaker 1: And bursts. It's very unstructured.
Speaker 6: I have a new book and that took like three
Speaker 6: years because I started one place, I changed it many times.
Speaker 1: But I think for someone.
Speaker 6: Who craves structure, and Celeste obviously chime in whenever you
Speaker 6: feel like because she's a creative too. I didn't even
Speaker 6: introduce our special guest, Celest Barbera. I'm sorry, but I
Speaker 6: would just schedule yourself, Like if you sit down for
Speaker 6: even if it's thirty minutes a day, it sounds like
Speaker 6: you're going to be wanting to even write more than that.
Speaker 6: You're going to be wanting to write for an hour,
Speaker 6: a couple of hours a day once you start doing
Speaker 6: that daily, like you where you put your phone away,
Speaker 6: you put your stuff away, and you just sit at
Speaker 6: your desk or whatever place that gives you the most
Speaker 6: inspiration in a structured way. Really put yourself in there,
Speaker 6: set your alarm somewhere, you know, in the house for
Speaker 6: two hours later and sit there and like the act
Speaker 6: of creativity begets the act of creativity absolutely once you
Speaker 6: start writing, like whatever, Like if I have to write
Speaker 6: a new hour for stand up, you know, whenever I
Speaker 6: film a special, whenever we film a special, you have
Speaker 6: to write another new hour of material. Like whenever I
Speaker 6: have to write new material, I'm like, ughugh, you know,
Speaker 6: it's like a hurdle.
Speaker 1: It's what am I going to write about? What am
Speaker 1: I going to talk about?
Speaker 4: Absolutely, And I'm the same with you my creativity. And
Speaker 4: like when I wrote my book again, it came in bursts,
Speaker 4: so you know, it'll be dinner time and I'd be like, oh,
Speaker 4: so I'd sit at the kitchen bench while my husband
Speaker 4: did everything, and I'd be like, I've got it.
Speaker 3: It just kind of came.
Speaker 4: But then for my last hour for my new tour
Speaker 4: that I'm doing, I did exactly what you're saying.
Speaker 3: I just set a timer. I literally set a timer.
Speaker 4: I took the kids to school, set a time for
Speaker 4: three hours in my office and was like, I'm not
Speaker 4: moving from here. It doesn't matter kind of what you're writing.
Speaker 4: But then you find with that structure and being a
Speaker 4: creative that even after it could be after ten minutes,
Speaker 4: after an hour and a half, you're like, oh no,
Speaker 4: there's real flow here.
Speaker 3: You just have to make yourself do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And allotting a certain amount of time is a
Speaker 6: very good way. It really helps you to just kind
Speaker 6: of you get in the habit of it, because then
Speaker 6: before you know it, you're spending more time doing it.
Speaker 6: I'm always writing in my note section two, like little
Speaker 6: ideas for things, or this could be a good joke,
Speaker 6: or this is a good punchline or whatever. You know,
Speaker 6: those will happen throughout the day, you know, and the
Speaker 6: more honed in you get on creativity, the more creative
Speaker 6: you become. So I think everything that you've said you've done.
Speaker 6: It's like most people haven't done all those things. So
Speaker 6: you're already like more than halfway there, and I think
Speaker 6: what follows is going to be just a very natural
Speaker 6: progression for you.
Speaker 8: Okay, thank you.
Speaker 1: Are you already doing that?
Speaker 8: I am No, I'm in terms of the creative writing,
Speaker 8: I'm not there yet.
Speaker 1: What do you want to write about right now?
Speaker 8: I'm kind of looking more like on the novel side,
Speaker 8: kind of just like leaning from some personal life experience,
Speaker 8: but writing trying to fictionalize it a little bit more,
Speaker 8: and I think part of the hesitance with that is
Speaker 8: sometimes I have to go to like really painful, dark
Speaker 8: places to get that out. And while I know the
Speaker 8: end product is catharsis, when it comes to just like
Speaker 8: getting it out there, I think sometimes when I'm like
Speaker 8: I have to go there, I kind of like try
Speaker 8: to keep it out in arm's length and almost avoid well.
Speaker 6: I would I could speak from experience that you want
Speaker 6: to get as close to all of that stuff as
Speaker 6: possible because that's where all of your you know, your
Speaker 6: your personal stories.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can't lose with that stuff.
Speaker 6: And while you might think it's going to be scary
Speaker 6: or something hard to difficult emotions to face, once you
Speaker 6: face those emotions, you realize how much you overestimated your
Speaker 6: own security. Now, Like when you're looking back at something
Speaker 6: you can you can be fearful of it, and then
Speaker 6: once you face it, you realize you have nothing on me.
Speaker 6: And it's quite cathartic to write about the pain that
Speaker 6: we experience in our lives.
Speaker 4: And I find as well, the thought of writing about it,
Speaker 4: or the thought of dealing with it in a creative
Speaker 4: sense is always much more terrifying and daunting than actually
Speaker 4: doing it in my experience.
Speaker 3: Because it's cathasis.
Speaker 4: As you say, the idea of sitting down and having
Speaker 4: to dive into something is too big, and so you
Speaker 4: avoid it. But once you're in it, it can be
Speaker 4: very fulfilling. I'd also say, do the easy chapters first,
Speaker 4: Do the fun, light stuff first, do even just start
Speaker 4: that structure idea of setting an alarm, and write the
Speaker 4: nice fun stuff, just to get yourself into that routine
Speaker 4: and into that discipline before you have to go deep.
Speaker 8: Absolutely, thank you.
Speaker 3: How would you approach.
Speaker 8: You know, like, obviously I'm thinking much longer turn, like
Speaker 8: long run at this point, self publishing, reaching out to publishers.
Speaker 1: What might that process look like? I think that this
Speaker 1: whole media world is so different.
Speaker 6: Everything is changing so fast, everything is online, Everything is
Speaker 6: about striking a chord. It doesn't like these old world publishers, Like, yeah,
Speaker 6: they can be an advantage in many respects, but also
Speaker 6: people are self publishing all the time and the most
Speaker 6: important thing to do is like to get a dialogue
Speaker 6: going with people. So like to think about social media
Speaker 6: as a useful way for you to see out your
Speaker 6: career strategy right to use that, to use these platforms
Speaker 6: to you know, whether you're writing little snippets every day
Speaker 6: of like motivational things for people or funny little like
Speaker 6: snippets of like, you know, a couple of lines of
Speaker 6: a funny story or an experience that happened to you
Speaker 6: at the grocery store, something that can relate to other
Speaker 6: people and get them interested in what you're giving them,
Speaker 6: you know. And then you're building an audience and you're
Speaker 6: building like a fan base almost you know, of relayability,
Speaker 6: so that that kind of gives you more of an
Speaker 6: avenue if and when you do decide to self publish.
Speaker 6: But in terms of reaching out for publishers, you just
Speaker 6: kind of have to knock on doors and try to
Speaker 6: get yourself a literary agent.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's the only way to do that anymore.
Speaker 3: I agree with social media absolutely.
Speaker 4: There's an audience for everything now, an audience for everything
Speaker 4: and anything now, and yeah, kind of tasing it out
Speaker 4: then you get people will follow. So we're like, oh,
Speaker 4: actually that resonates with me, and they follow along and
Speaker 4: they want to know more. And yeah, then you build
Speaker 4: an audience and you don't always have to do it
Speaker 4: the traditional why anymore of going to a publisher.
Speaker 6: And you always have to know that there is an
Speaker 6: audience when you're talking about your point of view about something,
Speaker 6: There's always an audience, you know, Like, don't underestimate the
Speaker 6: value of that, because if you're sharing your personal life,
Speaker 6: there are always going to be other women, whether they're
Speaker 6: in the same area as you or in the same
Speaker 6: age group as you. Like somebody I think of as
Speaker 6: Kaitlyn Murray. Do you know Kitlyn Murray? She talks about
Speaker 6: just what a pain in the ascid is having children
Speaker 6: while she still loves her children, and she's developed this
Speaker 6: huge following which led to a book, which led to
Speaker 6: she has her own podcast. Now you have to figure out,
Speaker 6: like what your currency is, right, Big Time Adulting is
Speaker 6: her Instagram And this woman is really fun and has
Speaker 6: three children and it's just like, you know what they
Speaker 6: never told you about parenting. You know what they never
Speaker 6: said is that when you drop your fucking kids off,
Speaker 6: you just want to sit in your car and smoke
Speaker 6: a joy for three hours, you know, like, and how
Speaker 6: on camptor life is. But she's a great example of
Speaker 6: finding that niche that is going to register with other
Speaker 6: people and resonate with other people and then building from there.
Speaker 6: And if you're talking about writing fiction, you know, maybe
Speaker 6: there's cute little like stories you can tell about your
Speaker 6: daily activities or interactions that you've had with people. Just
Speaker 6: really start to think about, like what kind of messages
Speaker 6: are you trying to send out? You know, what is
Speaker 6: your kind of hook to get people? And it might
Speaker 6: take a while, but you'll be surprised at how easily
Speaker 6: you can grow something when you're sharing parts of yourself
Speaker 6: with other people, because everyone kind of wants that, you know,
Speaker 6: people want to hear other people's stories. They want to
Speaker 6: hear other people's trials and tribulations.
Speaker 4: And it takes a lot of work. Don't be disheartened
Speaker 4: by that. Don't think, oh, this is.
Speaker 3: Really really hard. I probably shouldn't be.
Speaker 4: It's it's really fucking hard, I think to have self discipline,
Speaker 4: especially you know, as a woman going you don't have
Speaker 4: to ask permission to start an Instagram account to stop
Speaker 4: putting these quotes up like Chelsea sang or to start
Speaker 4: reaching out. It takes a lot of work.
Speaker 6: And you can also even have an Instagram post where
Speaker 6: you're where you post a video saying, Hey, I'm somebody
Speaker 6: who's recent, you know, newly career free. I'm looking to
Speaker 6: develop a career in writing. I'm looking to develop a
Speaker 6: career in fiction writing. If anyone out there wants to
Speaker 6: join like a group with me, you know, where you
Speaker 6: can talk to other writers, Like, really put yourself out there,
Speaker 6: because you'll be surprised at how responsive people will be
Speaker 6: in your community and how many other people may be
Speaker 6: like minded or may know somebody who's like, oh, I
Speaker 6: can hook you up with this person.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 8: I love that too, because I feel like having like
Speaker 8: accountability partners is super important for me. Otherwise I'm like, oh,
Speaker 8: I got this and then you know, three years later
Speaker 8: and draft one and still in motion.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but definitely sit down and give yourself that a
Speaker 6: lot of time. Whatever is doable and manageable for you.
Speaker 6: Make sure you do that every day for at least
Speaker 6: five days a week for the next month, and I
Speaker 6: promise you by the end of the month you'll be
Speaker 6: spending more than you're allotted time doing it.
Speaker 1: Perfect And also good for you for quitting a job that's.
Speaker 2: Not absolutely amazing.
Speaker 3: Absolutely that's massive.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's I mean, we don't need to go there,
Speaker 8: but I'm scared to see what's going to happen in
Speaker 8: education in the next four years.
Speaker 1: Anyway, So I don't blame you.
Speaker 3: What's happened happened.
Speaker 1: Nothing happens here. She's from Australia, so she doesn't watch
Speaker 1: the news. She doesn't know what's happened.
Speaker 3: It hasn't been all over the Australian news that what's.
Speaker 1: Going on Australia is so too far away to know
Speaker 1: about America.
Speaker 7: Wait for you to stay there, all right, Thank you
Speaker 7: so much, Amanda check in with us.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, thank you all so much.
Speaker 2: I appreciate your time today.
Speaker 1: Bye, Manda, good luck with everything.
Speaker 8: Thank you.
Speaker 7: I will also send this to her. But book talk
Speaker 7: I have heard has been very helpful for a lot
Speaker 7: of authors. Book okay on TikTok, the books area on TikTok.
Speaker 7: I get all my recommendations from there. I know a
Speaker 7: couple authors who are like, this is the way I've
Speaker 7: gotten myself published novel out there.
Speaker 2: And they post about all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 1: A lot of people self published now.
Speaker 7: So yeah, yeah, so well. Our next caller is Sarah.
Speaker 7: She says, Dear Chelsea, my brother proposed to his longtime
Speaker 7: girlfriend over the summer and asked our parents to help
Speaker 7: fund the wedding. Pretty normal stuff, but I found out
Speaker 7: there's some tension about money, the wedding location, other details.
Speaker 7: Not super fun, but I guess that's typical for a
Speaker 7: wedding where everyone's a decision maker. A while back, my
Speaker 7: brother's fiance called to let me know that they've decided
Speaker 7: to keep the wedding parties small, just two people on
Speaker 7: each side, and they wanted to make sure I was
Speaker 7: okay with not being part of the bridal party. Her
Speaker 7: sister and best friends are the two bridesmaids. I was
Speaker 7: honestly fine with it, and I wasn't expecting to be included.
Speaker 7: They even asked me to be the witness when they
Speaker 7: signed the documents, so I felt I left the call
Speaker 7: feeling totally okay. Fast forward a couple of weeks and
Speaker 7: my brother's fiance calls me stressed out. Apparently my dad
Speaker 7: has been sharing his opinion that it's incredibly hurtful and
Speaker 7: mean that I'm not in the bridal party.
Speaker 2: He's even told her.
Speaker 7: That even though I've said I'm fine, I'm just being
Speaker 7: nice and would never reveal how I really feel. My
Speaker 7: dad claimed he only shared his thoughts with my brother,
Speaker 7: but my brother's fiance showed me his texts and they
Speaker 7: tell a different story. I get where both sides are
Speaker 7: coming from. Weddings don't look like they did in the eighties,
Speaker 7: but I don't agree with how my dad is handling it.
Speaker 7: I've been staying out of it, but we're still a
Speaker 7: year out from the wedding, and this bridal party drama
Speaker 7: is creating unnecessary tension around an event that's supposed to
Speaker 7: be joyful. Should I step in or stay out of it?
Speaker 2: Sarah?
Speaker 1: Hi, Sarah?
Speaker 9: Hello, how's it going?
Speaker 3: Hi?
Speaker 1: This is our special guest, the last barber today.
Speaker 3: Hi, Sarah, how are you good?
Speaker 1: You look sweet?
Speaker 3: Very sweet.
Speaker 4: First of all, weddings aren't fun. I'll just say that
Speaker 4: up front someone who has had one. My wedding was
Speaker 4: the best. Everyone says that about their wedding. But I
Speaker 4: think you're right in not being a part of the
Speaker 4: bridal party. Being a part of the bridal party is an.
Speaker 1: Absolute, solute pain in the ass.
Speaker 3: Pain in the ass. It's a nightmare.
Speaker 4: So I think you've made an excellent decision, especially now
Speaker 4: that you're still a year out from this wedding and
Speaker 4: already the bridal party's being picked. This seems like a
Speaker 4: little bit of a high mind and it's wedding. I
Speaker 4: think you've done a very good job of staying out
Speaker 4: of it.
Speaker 1: Well, it's not her choice to stay out of it.
Speaker 1: They've kind of just basically decided that she was going
Speaker 1: to stay.
Speaker 3: But I'm not having the shits about it not going.
Speaker 3: But I want, but I want.
Speaker 4: I think it's very good to be like, right, I
Speaker 4: can actually wear what I want and get you know,
Speaker 4: black out drunk and downing and what.
Speaker 6: How do you actually feel about not being in the
Speaker 6: wedding party?
Speaker 9: I mean, I'm honestly pretty indifferent. I don't think I
Speaker 9: really expected it. It's not like it's not something that
Speaker 9: I just like I am aware of as it being
Speaker 9: a tradition, Like I know that, like I have some
Speaker 9: family who like will do that and like they'll have
Speaker 9: like a much larger bridal party. But so many people
Speaker 9: I know are just doing things so differently that my
Speaker 9: expectations were so low, if non existent.
Speaker 1: So well, that's very healthy attitude, Like I.
Speaker 9: Mean, okay, I mean I think if it was like, yeah,
Speaker 9: I'm going to have eight people and like, this girl
Speaker 9: I just met yesterday is also part of my bridal party,
Speaker 9: but I just can't include you. Then i'd be a
Speaker 9: little concerned. But I'm not her sister or her friend
Speaker 9: that's you know, known her whole life, so I don't
Speaker 9: really kind of expect to be in that.
Speaker 2: Right to minimum.
Speaker 1: So no, I think you're absolutely right on the money.
Speaker 1: I like, I don't.
Speaker 6: I don't like any drama like regarding stuff like this.
Speaker 6: It's so stupid, you know, like, let people do what
Speaker 6: they want to do. But what did your dad write
Speaker 6: in the text that you saw to her?
Speaker 9: Oh my god, I don't even I don't even remember,
Speaker 9: but oh my head, it was it was just very like,
Speaker 9: you're just being very mean. We really don't like this,
Speaker 9: we really don't like the way that it's setting the
Speaker 9: tone for the future. That it was just like a
Speaker 9: long kind of paragraph. And he was like, you know,
Speaker 9: very insistent on like, no, I'm just trying to do
Speaker 9: this with my brother. He's just I'm just trying to
Speaker 9: communicate with my brother. I'm not trying to like involve
Speaker 9: anyone else. But I'm like, but you literally said a
Speaker 9: text to her as a physical why's.
Speaker 3: That's got opinions.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's got big feelings.
Speaker 9: I was just kind of like surprised at the intensity.
Speaker 9: It's one thing to be like, oh, well, like for me, know,
Speaker 9: my my you know, nephew's wedding, his wife had my
Speaker 9: you know, cousin as part of the ronadal party. But
Speaker 9: like that's maybe one example, maybe just a few examples,
Speaker 9: and you can't just kind of rely on just a
Speaker 9: few examples as the norm and so out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But also your dad just should also chill out.
Speaker 6: He's already nosy, Nelly, you should And you've talked to
Speaker 6: your father about this, right.
Speaker 9: I mean a little bit. I mean like he tried
Speaker 9: to get you know, I kind of really just try
Speaker 9: to stay out of it and really just try to
Speaker 9: kind of like not respond for a while because I
Speaker 9: was just like, I don't want to deal with this.
Speaker 3: It sounds like your dad wants to be a bridesmaid.
Speaker 3: That's what it sounds like. It sounds like your dad's
Speaker 3: past it has on a bridesmaid. Is it is your dad?
Speaker 4: Just is your dad upset just the fact that you
Speaker 4: have it been asked to be a bride'smide or is
Speaker 4: the other things to do with the wedding that he's
Speaker 4: also not stoked about.
Speaker 9: I mean, there's probably other things too, so it's probably
Speaker 9: just layered on top of it, like part of it's
Speaker 9: a destination wedding, you know, there's a lot of money involved,
Speaker 9: there's who gets invited, all that stuff, and so there's
Speaker 9: I'm sure a plethora of other things.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 6: A good way to nip it in the bud permanently
Speaker 6: would be to send them a text, your father and
Speaker 6: your brother and his fiance a thread and be like, hey, guys,
Speaker 6: I noticed there's been some dissension about my involvement in
Speaker 6: the wedding and the wedding party, and I just want
Speaker 6: you to hear it straight from me. I am completely indifferent,
Speaker 6: like what you just said to being in your wedding party.
Speaker 6: There are no issues for me, so I wanted to
Speaker 6: make that clear you, my future sister in law, my brother,
Speaker 6: and my father, who are all on this chain, This
Speaker 6: is not an issue for me, because then what does
Speaker 6: your father have to say. Then he has to complain
Speaker 6: about what he's really upset about, which is paying for
Speaker 6: this destination wedding.
Speaker 4: Exactly, and then he'll respond by just going Dad, lift
Speaker 4: the chat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good idea.
Speaker 9: It hasn't really been brought up lately, but you know,
Speaker 9: there's many months out. I'm sure he'll get brought up again,
Speaker 9: and so I feel kind of confident in.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I think your attitude is right on the money, Like,
Speaker 6: don't get involved in wedding drama. Wedding drama is the
Speaker 6: most annoying drama, especially destination wedding drama.
Speaker 1: And I offer this one day.
Speaker 6: You know, like I understand weddings are important to people,
Speaker 6: but it's like, just relax. It's so uncool when people
Speaker 6: get like they're panties in a twist about it.
Speaker 1: It should be a celebration, not yeah.
Speaker 3: It's a big party with an open bar, Like just if.
Speaker 1: You're lucky it has an open bar.
Speaker 6: I had a couple of people that invited me to weddings.
Speaker 6: It didn't have an open a bar. And because he
Speaker 6: didn't go to that wedding.
Speaker 3: You didn't go to that wedding, you didn't bring party.
Speaker 4: Fa.
Speaker 6: No, sometimes I bring my own bar if I have to.
Speaker 6: My cousin had a wedding, he's like, we're just doing
Speaker 6: beer and wine. I'm like, that will be my gift
Speaker 6: to you is the bar, because if you're going to
Speaker 6: have a wedding like that, I won't be there unless
Speaker 6: there's a bar.
Speaker 1: And you don't want people having beer and wine. Where
Speaker 1: does that get you?
Speaker 6: Missy fucking sick of wine anyway, sick of people talking
Speaker 6: about wine anyway.
Speaker 7: So do you think she needs to, like specifically talk
Speaker 7: to her sister in law.
Speaker 6: I'll be like, no, you're not involved in this, Like
Speaker 6: if you want to, but I would just send a
Speaker 6: text to all three of them so that in.
Speaker 1: Writing they can't keep talking about it.
Speaker 2: You know this was not sent under duress.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know where this conversation came from, but
Speaker 6: I just want everyone to know where I'm coming from
Speaker 6: so that there's no confusion. I'm totally fine with this.
Speaker 6: I'm happy you guys are getting married. I can't wait
Speaker 6: to go to the wedding.
Speaker 1: See you there, dad.
Speaker 3: I have a die off.
Speaker 1: Needs to thank you, okay, take care, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: She seemed like such an innocent.
Speaker 3: She's like, I don't care. I'm so fine with it.
Speaker 6: It's almost like you know some which she was giving
Speaker 6: all the reasons like, well, you know, cousins sometimes put
Speaker 6: there and it's like, who told you that, like.
Speaker 3: Only coached a bullet.
Speaker 1: Being a bridesmaid is a pain in the ass.
Speaker 7: I know someone who had I think sixteen bridesmaids because
Speaker 7: she didn't want to leave anybody else.
Speaker 3: I don't have that many friends. I don't know sixteen people.
Speaker 4: In my stupids years of being alive, I have not
Speaker 4: had sixteen friends over that time.
Speaker 7: That's ridiculous, ridiculous. No, it was crazy, crazy crazy. Okay, well,
Speaker 7: let's take a quick break and we'll be back to
Speaker 7: wrap up with a little light one.
Speaker 1: Okay, we're going to take a break.
Speaker 7: We're back now, we are back, so Caroline writes, and
Speaker 7: this specifically, I would love for a celest to weigh
Speaker 7: in on. Of course you Chelsea too, but thank you
Speaker 7: for this might be the last question. It is the list,
Speaker 7: Dear celast I've been with my husband for seventeen years,
Speaker 7: and he's always always had a strong body odor. The
Speaker 7: last few years, though, it seems that it has gotten stronger.
Speaker 7: He's given up using standard aluminum based deodorant and only
Speaker 7: uses natural brands. I've run the gamut trying to help
Speaker 7: him find a good deodorant that covers his smell, but
Speaker 7: it just doesn't cut it. He has great hygiene, he
Speaker 7: showers once to twice daily, but he still stinks. He's
Speaker 7: also very sensitive and embarrassed about his bio, and I
Speaker 7: have to try lightly when asking him nicely to change
Speaker 7: his shirt, put on deodorant.
Speaker 2: Et cetera.
Speaker 7: I think it may be related to stress or diet,
Speaker 7: or maybe it's just his genetic makeup. Regardless, it's hard
Speaker 7: for me to hug him or be intimate without wanting
Speaker 7: to hold my breath.
Speaker 2: It's that bad.
Speaker 3: WHOA please help?
Speaker 7: How can I get his stinky ass smelling batter caroline?
Speaker 3: Absolute red flag?
Speaker 4: If hey, it's natural deodorant, I would My husband went
Speaker 4: through a phase where he's like, I want to just
Speaker 4: use natural deodorant. I was like, well, then you can
Speaker 4: go in find a nice, pretty new wife. Is absolutely
Speaker 4: not and he doesn't have any bodiod issues. Yeah, delicious,
Speaker 4: but that is an absolute deal breaker for me. I
Speaker 4: find it has he I wonder if he's been to
Speaker 4: the doctor. Is this something where I can get like
Speaker 4: botox shots?
Speaker 6: Well not only that, but yeah, botox shots you can
Speaker 6: get under your arm, FYI to stop sweating. But if
Speaker 6: he has a natural like a strong odor than like that.
Speaker 6: It usually does have something to do with your pH
Speaker 6: balance or your diet. So like he should go to
Speaker 6: a doctor, and he should be proactive about this because
Speaker 6: you're his wife and you've been married to him for
Speaker 6: what seventeen years, So that's like yeah, and I don't
Speaker 6: care if he's sensitive about it. Like you need to
Speaker 6: figure out a solution to this problem that you're having
Speaker 6: to endure because your husband hasn't figured it out yet,
Speaker 6: and going to a non aluminum based deoderan is not the.
Speaker 3: He's going to a studio apartment down the street. There's
Speaker 3: no way. And if he's getting to a point where.
Speaker 4: You can't hug him because he's it's so gross, he
Speaker 4: needs to get that out.
Speaker 6: I can't believe you've endured seventeen years though, of someone
Speaker 6: with bodyodor. I once stated a guy who had body odor,
Speaker 6: and I had it wasn't It wasn't body odor. There
Speaker 6: was like a smell that emanated from him, and it
Speaker 6: was it was very strong in the morning, and it
Speaker 6: was like it was almost like his he had a scent.
Speaker 6: Like sometimes your pheromones don't match, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: That's a thing absolutely.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Well it's a little late to find out for her
Speaker 6: because it's been seventeen years.
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's a pheromones thing.
Speaker 6: I mean. Also, get in the clothes, spin and close
Speaker 6: your nose with it so that you do not have
Speaker 6: to breathe in his malodorous scent.
Speaker 2: Get one of those necklaces for essential oils.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna have to start experiing.
Speaker 6: But you need to go to a doctor and talk
Speaker 6: to somebody openly about him.
Speaker 1: I don't care if he's sensitive. He needs to get
Speaker 1: over that.
Speaker 3: Get it sorted out.
Speaker 1: It's your wife.
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, okay, Well on that note, good luck, Okay,
Speaker 6: good luck.
Speaker 1: Problem solved. Celeste.
Speaker 6: Thank you for being here. You guys, she's a very
Speaker 6: successful comedian author. You've written a book. Webside of the
Speaker 6: name of your book.
Speaker 3: Challenge accepted.
Speaker 6: Challenge accepted, and you can also please look into her
Speaker 6: beauty brand spelled b o o i e bouie beauty.
Speaker 2: Is it booe beauty dot com.
Speaker 3: It's booye dot com boo booeye.
Speaker 6: Dot com, not to be confused with the other kind
Speaker 6: of booie booe.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Celeste, Thanks for having me. I always love
Speaker 1: to see you.
Speaker 3: I love to see you. Do Do Do Do Do Do.
Speaker 6: Drum roll Catherine, please, Chelsea Handler abroad.
Speaker 1: Abroad is my European tour.
Speaker 6: So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I
Speaker 6: need to get the help out of this fucking country
Speaker 6: and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm
Speaker 6: coming to Rekuvic, I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to
Speaker 6: the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.
Speaker 1: In May and June.
Speaker 6: I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
Speaker 6: New Zurich, Vienna.
Speaker 1: I've never ever.
Speaker 6: Been to Vienna, for in Barcelona and Lisbon. I'm coming
Speaker 6: abroad is abroad.
Speaker 3: That sounds like fun.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go see you abroad.
Speaker 9: I w out.
Speaker 5: I want to go see me abroad and there all
Speaker 5: be there all be Upcoming Vegas dates March twenty first,
Speaker 5: April eighteenth, July fifth, August thirtieth, November one.
Speaker 6: And twenty ninth at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.
Speaker 7: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
Speaker 7: at Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com and be
Speaker 7: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 7: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
Speaker 7: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
Speaker 7: com