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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: Should we get right into it?

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Speaker 1: Sure? Auden say, why not?

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Speaker 3: We have an amazing guest today.

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Speaker 1: Who is it here?

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Speaker 2: From Australia?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 5: Okay, ah, you know her.

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Speaker 6: She's an author, she's got her own makeup line, she's

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Speaker 6: a comedian, and she's the best Instagram celest Barber.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, and her UK, Europe and Dubai tour is kicking

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Speaker 7: off April fourth, so I'll be sure to check that

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Speaker 7: out and check out Blue Beauty at booie dot com.

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Speaker 6: Okay, we're sitting here with my girlfriend, Celeste Barber. She's

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Speaker 6: not only my girlfriend, she's a lot of things do

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Speaker 6: a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: How did I find out about you? I found out

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Speaker 1: about you?

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Speaker 6: I think probably from your Instagram because she does these

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Speaker 6: If you don't follow her, which you should be following

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Speaker 6: her for those of you who are unfamiliar, she does

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Speaker 6: these great kind of how would you describe them?

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Speaker 1: Just ripping off idiotic modeling.

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Speaker 6: Poses, and then how I would have described it, recreating

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Speaker 6: them as a regular person a regular.

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Speaker 4: Parties, Yeah, parardies of them, taking inappropriate, unfluttering photos of

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Speaker 4: myself and putting them up against models.

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Speaker 6: And videos and videos are really where it's at, because

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Speaker 6: you know, when you.

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Speaker 4: See honestly dogs around me at the moment, it's a

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Speaker 4: whole thing.

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Speaker 7: Let her sit here, It's fine, okay, as long as

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Speaker 7: she's not snorting into the microphone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.

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Speaker 6: He made some questionable sounds the other day, Doug, and

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Speaker 6: I was like, get out of here. It sounds like

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Speaker 6: someone's farting and it doesn't sound like you. Anyway, she

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Speaker 6: does Celet's recreates. You know what I like about it

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Speaker 6: more than the obvious, which is taking the piss and laughing.

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Speaker 6: It really shows you how ridiculous modeling can be, Like

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Speaker 6: what sexy is supposed to be. When these girls walk

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Speaker 6: around half naked, you know, with like their tongues out

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Speaker 6: of their mouths or just in some ridiculous pose that

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Speaker 6: you're like, is that sexy?

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Speaker 1: Like when did that become sexy?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: But like walking around, you know, you know, holding a

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Speaker 4: green smooth like you say, we're likely their tongues hang

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Speaker 4: out of the mouth and the caption is just dropping

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Speaker 4: the kids to school, right, And.

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Speaker 3: That's absolutely not what it looks like.

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Speaker 4: Drop when you fucking keeps to school, that's not And

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Speaker 4: that's kind of why I started doing it right, because

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Speaker 4: it's like magazines are pain in the ass and Mike

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Speaker 4: us all hide ourselves, and now there's this social media

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Speaker 4: that kind of seeps in without us knowing.

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Speaker 3: I was like, no, I'm going to poke fun to that.

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Speaker 3: I actually started doing.

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Speaker 4: It before videos were available on Instagram. Oh well I've

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Speaker 4: been doing this shit for a long time, but it.

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Speaker 3: Was just photos.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, Well the videos really lend a little bit more

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Speaker 6: context to it because we were also just watching this

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Speaker 6: episode you did of Drew Barrymore Show where this is

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Speaker 6: an issue that happens. We get calls about this all

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Speaker 6: the time on this podcast about body image and how

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Speaker 6: do you know? Everyone always I can't get down to

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Speaker 6: the size I want to get down, and it's like

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Speaker 6: I always want to give advice that it is not

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Speaker 6: about dieting, you know what I mean. I want to

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Speaker 6: give advice about empowering yourself to accept the body that

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Speaker 6: you're in and be happy about it and learn like

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Speaker 6: how strong, healthy and vibrant you are and where your

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Speaker 6: value comes from, because it's not your body image that

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Speaker 6: is paramount to everything, you know. I spent so much

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Speaker 6: time in my youth and early twenties no, all of

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Speaker 6: my twenties just obsessing over what I looked like and

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Speaker 6: what a fucking waste of time that it is.

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Speaker 4: It's obsessing of it being thin, and I know I'm

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Speaker 4: forty two now, so getting into the sexy perimenopause vibes,

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Speaker 4: which is a real riot, and how it's like, no, no, ladies,

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Speaker 4: you don't need to just do cardio anymore.

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Speaker 3: What you need to do is lift weights. And I

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Speaker 3: think I wish I fucking knew.

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Speaker 4: That earlier, about how important it is to be strong

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Speaker 4: and healthy, not just scared and skinny at all times.

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Speaker 4: Or it's like skinny but grateful because you can fit

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Speaker 4: into clothes and that body image stuff.

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Speaker 3: It's it's all encompassing.

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Speaker 1: Was that quote? It was it Keith Mass's quote. Nothing.

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Speaker 6: It tastes as good as skinny feels. She set us

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Speaker 6: up for this demise that we're living out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll blame her for that, absolutely, but it is important.

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Speaker 6: I mean, I think you're a pretty grid example of

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Speaker 6: being a normal size and exploiting that you know, and

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Speaker 6: talking about where your value comes from, because you talked

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Speaker 6: about that and Drew barrymore So, I'd love for you

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Speaker 6: to say a little bit about that.

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Speaker 4: Well, how I look is the least interesting thing about me,

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Speaker 4: and I've always kind of known that, Like I've never

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Speaker 4: been I look fine, but I haven't really cared, do

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Speaker 4: you know what I mean. I remember when I was younger, though,

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Speaker 4: my mom said to me, who are going out? I

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Speaker 4: don't know if maybe it was a school thing, and

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Speaker 4: school was a bag addicts for me, so I probably

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Speaker 4: didn't want to go. And mom got me something nice

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Speaker 4: to wear, and I was like, oh no, I don't

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Speaker 4: want to do it. And she said to me, you

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Speaker 4: are scared to look nice. You are scared to actually

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Speaker 4: look good because you think you can only do one

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Speaker 4: and you can't do the other.

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Speaker 3: And when I was younger, of course, I was like,

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Speaker 3: fuck you, mommy, you don't know me. I look beautiful

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Speaker 3: all the time.

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Speaker 4: You know. I was always defensive. But as I got old,

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Speaker 4: I was like, I think that's right. I think I'm like,

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Speaker 4: I know, I just have to know. My currency is

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Speaker 4: my sense of humor, my personality, all those.

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Speaker 3: Sort of things. People.

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Speaker 4: You know, I'm very open with people and I'm not

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Speaker 4: allowed to kind of be But as I got older,

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Speaker 4: I was like, I really think my currency of being

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Speaker 4: funny and kind and cutting through shit is a really

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Speaker 4: beautiful thing and it makes me feel like kind of

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Speaker 4: really gorgeous.

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Speaker 3: In that world.

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Speaker 4: And you know, it's fucking tricky because we want to

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Speaker 4: point at someone to blame them, but it's it's everywhere.

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Speaker 4: Society just looks at women and goes, if you look

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Speaker 4: a certain way, then certain doors will open for you.

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Speaker 4: If you don't look a certain way, all the best.

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Speaker 4: Sorry about that. So, like even the body positive movements,

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Speaker 4: like they put Ashley Graham on one catwalk and they're like, brilliant,

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Speaker 4: We've ticked that box.

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Speaker 3: You know, we're being inclusive now. I never I never.

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Speaker 4: Started this to get caught up in the body positive movement.

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Speaker 4: I'm very happy for that movement to pick me up,

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Speaker 4: but I kind of always did it just to make

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Speaker 4: people fucking laugh and just to.

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Speaker 3: See how absurd it is.

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Speaker 4: And I did this thing in my first stand up tour,

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Speaker 4: had a section in my lihye.

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Speaker 6: I just want to say that the heavy panting is

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Speaker 6: celast vagina.

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Speaker 1: And they don't want you to think that that's me

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Speaker 1: or anything.

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Speaker 3: They've heard that before.

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Speaker 1: We have we have MEMSI on the cell for today.

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Speaker 1: Catherine's dog.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, breathing heavy about if you're hearing, that's what you're hearing.

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Speaker 3: No one's listening to me. That the fuck is going on.

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Speaker 1: In the background. It's like a doggy.

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Speaker 3: It's a whole other demographic for podcasts.

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Speaker 1: Sorry to interrupt, no please.

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Speaker 4: In my first show, I did a section brave versus empowering.

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Speaker 4: So when I would post a photo, whoever the model was,

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Speaker 4: I'd look on that and underneath a lot of it,

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Speaker 4: you know, because they're not usually wearing much. It'd be like, oh,

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Speaker 4: that's really empowering for women. Yeah, look at us when

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Speaker 4: we can get get our tits out and look amazing.

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Speaker 4: And then when I do my parody and put my

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Speaker 4: photo next to it, everyone said how brave. It was like,

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Speaker 4: she is for putting that body out into the world.

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Speaker 4: So a gorgeous model does it and it's empowering for women.

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Speaker 3: Then I do it, it's like, oh God, the children,

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Speaker 3: it's so brave of her. I was like, that's not

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Speaker 3: fucking brave.

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Speaker 6: We have to redefine a lot of words in society.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely.

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Speaker 6: I remember breaking my arm when I was a little

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Speaker 6: girl and them telling me at the hospital how brave

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Speaker 6: I was, and I'm like, I didn't try to try

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Speaker 6: arm I didn't didn't do it on purpose. I didn't

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Speaker 6: run in front of a car to save another kid.

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Speaker 1: I fucking fell over my dog. Like, there's nothing brave

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Speaker 1: about this. Even at eight, I was like, that's not

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Speaker 1: the right use of that word.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and why and always with women and girls, you're

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Speaker 4: being so brave. It's like, no, you were just fucking uncoordinated.

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Speaker 4: You fell over your dog.

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Speaker 3: It's not bright.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: You also said something on Drew's show that I loved,

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Speaker 6: which is you your husband is a tree true?

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Speaker 1: What is the word? Not an arborist?

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Speaker 6: He's an arborist okay, yeah, and you were talking about

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Speaker 6: what that means. You know that he gets up in

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Speaker 6: trim's trees and you know takes care of trees.

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Speaker 1: But you said that you've retired him.

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Speaker 6: And we both loved that because we were like, thank you,

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Speaker 6: Like that is exactly right.

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Speaker 3: You love that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he loves that.

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Speaker 3: I absolutely love that he.

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Speaker 6: Had Some husband is her husband, And yeah, I've met

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Speaker 6: him in person. We see each other in Sydney, so

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Speaker 6: Last and I have had a burgeoning friendship for many years.

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Speaker 6: We keep running into each other in different parts of

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Speaker 6: the world and they were nice enough to come to

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Speaker 6: my show and one of his shows in Sydney.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, right, and he is very handsome and I.

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Speaker 3: Was really hot.

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Speaker 6: I was like, good for you, Like I love this

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Speaker 6: reverse dynamic, which is sadly to say a reverse dynamic, as.

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Speaker 4: We say, absolutely, and he is incredible about that as well.

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Speaker 4: We have, you know, groups of friends where the couple

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Speaker 4: the husband is you know, well he's a like a

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Speaker 4: surfer or a professional surfer, but his wife has been

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Speaker 4: looking after those children, taking them around the world on

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Speaker 4: these world tours and stuff.

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Speaker 3: But Arpy, even that's my husband's name.

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Speaker 4: Arpy even points out that he gets so much more

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Speaker 4: of an audience as being a stay at home dad

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Speaker 4: than our friend does with being a stay at home mom.

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Speaker 4: Like they'll be like, that's so amazing that so hang on,

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Speaker 4: you do the lunches for the boys every morning.

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Speaker 3: That's amazing. And he's like, yeah, a dad, so do

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Speaker 3: my friends.

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Speaker 4: Like there's sort of those ladies over there, but there's

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Speaker 4: just no audience for it.

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Speaker 3: And people always say how lucky I am, are you?

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Speaker 3: I'm lucky to have him.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, bitch, I'm flying business class every way and

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Speaker 4: you're all lucky.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, and you're also fucking flying around the world doing

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Speaker 6: your thing and but busting your ass. Yeah, it is

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Speaker 6: so funny how imbalanced the like the rewards systems are

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Speaker 6: for men who stay at home. But I mean, I'm

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Speaker 6: hoping that will change, even in the face of what

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Speaker 6: we're dealing with politically, because women are the reason why

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Speaker 6: this election happened the way it is because of men,

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Speaker 6: I believe is because men are so threatened anyway by

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Speaker 6: women's success. And it's like, you can be as threatened

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Speaker 6: to you as you want. We're still succeeding. There are

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Speaker 6: too many women that are like paying for their families

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Speaker 6: and that are the breadwinners. Absolutely, and there are many

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Speaker 6: women that are single that are doing it, that are

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Speaker 6: choosing not to have children, and that's a huge threat

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Speaker 6: to men.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's fine, be threatened, but just go over

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Speaker 4: there and be threatened, Like, get out of the fucking

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Speaker 4: way and be threatened so we can just keep going.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, let's talk about your Also, you came when you

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Speaker 6: were launching your makeup line.

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Speaker 3: Booie Yeah Bowie Boe beauty.

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Speaker 1: She has a great makeup line that she just launched

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Speaker 1: and just launched here in the States as well.

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Speaker 6: If you're listening nationally, you're listening listening domestically, if you're

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Speaker 6: looking ark, if you're listening to this on AM stereo.

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Speaker 6: That's how my father used to go, say a stereo.

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Speaker 6: He's like, turn on the stereo. I'm like, where are

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Speaker 6: you from? Philadelphia?

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Speaker 1: Anyway? My favorite product is that eyebrow enhanser.

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Speaker 3: Bring back the bush.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, eyebrow bush.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because the nineties fucking stole them.

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Speaker 1: The nineties stole them.

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Speaker 6: And also once you're dealing, once you hit forty five

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Speaker 6: or forty, your eyebrows all of a sudden turn into

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Speaker 6: I don't know what.

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Speaker 3: I mean, wispy little same with my fucking hair. What's that.

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Speaker 4: It's like all my hair has now started growing out

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Speaker 4: of my face and my fucking neck and not on

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Speaker 4: my head, like it's thinning and it's not like feathers.

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Speaker 1: I like the idea of neck hair.

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Speaker 3: It was like goiter hair. It's and that thing.

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Speaker 4: The other day I was standing and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 4: this is really nice light, and my husband went yet

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Speaker 4: hang on and walked over and just like went yoink

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Speaker 4: and pulled it one and out of my neck, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, and asked the fucking feedback.

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Speaker 3: He goes, you needed the feedback before you feel yourself.

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Speaker 3: Got these long, luscious locks that come out of my neck.

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Speaker 6: I know my sister's always goes like this. My sister

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Speaker 6: Shanna always goes like this. She's always feeling for her

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Speaker 6: whisker to come in. And I'm like, can you stop

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Speaker 6: rubbing your beard?

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Speaker 3: It's like she stop playing.

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Speaker 6: Come to think of it, I just spent the weekend

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Speaker 6: with her on the East Coast and she wasn't doing that,

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Speaker 6: So maybe she learned her.

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Speaker 1: I was like, you pluck your hairs before you come out.

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Speaker 3: She probably got someone to shave her face before you

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Speaker 3: turned up.

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Speaker 6: But you know, no, there the thicker ones, you know,

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Speaker 6: you know, the black ones, not the little like I

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Speaker 6: shaved my face all the time.

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Speaker 1: I say, I raise her right result, it's a great

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Speaker 1: X folio.

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Speaker 3: It's so good.

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Speaker 4: But then it gets a little bit I actually did

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Speaker 4: it before I came over here, got a little bit

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Speaker 4: a little bit of stubble there. Now. I was talking

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Speaker 4: to a friend the other day and I thought she

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Speaker 4: just had like a little eyelash here, and I leant

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Speaker 4: over and went and pull but it was connected and

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Speaker 4: it's just.

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Speaker 3: A long one and I went, oh, that's connected.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry somewhere and it was like really long, and

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Speaker 4: White said it wasn't there last night here this morning.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know was connected.

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Speaker 1: The joys of aging as a woman.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you need good friends, but no hair on my eyebrows.

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Speaker 4: So that's why, Yeah, bring back the bush, got to

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Speaker 4: draw the bastards back in.

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Speaker 1: How long did it take you to develop your brand?

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Speaker 1: To create it?

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Speaker 4: And well, it's been in my head for a long time,

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Speaker 4: but you know, breaking news ADHD, So I kind.

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Speaker 3: Of I couldn't. I couldn't get it out of my head.

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Speaker 4: I was kind of at a point where I was like,

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Speaker 4: I'm happy just to go to parties now for the

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Speaker 4: next five years and be like I've.

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Speaker 3: Got a really good idea for a makeup brand and

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Speaker 3: do fuck all about it.

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Speaker 4: And then I met Claire, my business partner, and she

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Speaker 4: was like, you're a lot and made it happen.

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Speaker 3: So I reckon.

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Speaker 4: We've been developing for about a year and a half,

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Speaker 4: two years, getting it all together and then.

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Speaker 1: Read to get something off the ground.

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Speaker 6: I mean, I've tried to develop things in the past

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Speaker 6: and I've lost interest halfway through.

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Speaker 1: This is too long.

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Speaker 3: I'm exactly the same way.

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Speaker 6: Too long.

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Speaker 1: I don't care.

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Speaker 4: We launched when I was doing a world tour, which

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Speaker 4: was great because already I was like, do we really

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Speaker 4: want to do a makeup brand. They're like, we've sunk

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Speaker 4: a fur bit of money, Yes, idiot, yes we're gonna

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Speaker 4: do it.

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Speaker 3: I get really bored of stuff as well.

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Speaker 6: So and so what was your impetus, Like, what was

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Speaker 6: your ethos behind the bround?

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Speaker 4: Well, I wanted it to be makeup that you just

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Speaker 4: you can't fuck up because I find, like I said,

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Speaker 4: I'm forty two, and the only thing kind of in

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Speaker 4: the makeup space in the beauty space now for women

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Speaker 4: over the age of six is like anti aging serum

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Speaker 4: or anti aging cream. Like there's nothing really directly targeted

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Speaker 4: at us. It's like we just my eleven year old niece.

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Speaker 4: It's all for her. And I wanted to make it

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Speaker 4: uncomplicated and nothing that you need to watch a seventy

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Speaker 4: five minute makeup tutorial to understand. Like, I love makeup.

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Speaker 4: I have a face for makeup, so I want I

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Speaker 4: really do which was great when I was younger, right

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Speaker 4: because at school you know, I look like a slapped ass.

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Speaker 4: But then for a year twelve formul I rocked up

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Speaker 4: with makeup people like them, and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: you're bulling me out to get that's right, I've got

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Speaker 4: it going on.

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Speaker 3: So I fucking love makeup and I wanted to.

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Speaker 4: We've started with just five products, and I just use

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Speaker 4: every single day, all the time to get you out

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Speaker 4: the door for busy moms. For I heard someone say

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Speaker 4: the other day that when you're in your forties, like

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Speaker 4: forty onward, you're moving into your invisible era. Oh I

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Speaker 4: don't want that, Like, I just feel like I'm getting

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Speaker 4: more excellent now.

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Speaker 3: I remember you.

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Speaker 4: Saying that one like, you've never been in better shape

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Speaker 4: in your life, You've never been stronger, more successful.

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Speaker 3: And that's exactly how I feel.

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Speaker 4: So and it's it's for like Wendy and Wichita who's

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Speaker 4: listening on the stereo. It's for those girls who come

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Speaker 4: to my shows all around the world. They're like placeholders

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Speaker 4: for everyone else in their life who are going, oh,

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Speaker 4: I've just used the same stuff forever because I don't understand.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I got you. This is fun, easy

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Speaker 4: and makes you It's all about like the best version

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Speaker 4: of you. That's what I'm interested in, the best version

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Speaker 4: of you, and that's what Boobie does.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's also low maintenance because I'm easy.

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Speaker 6: I'm not into you, like I like five products because

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Speaker 6: if I'm not camera, even for this podcast, you know,

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00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,120
Speaker 6: I slap on some blush and some lip balm and

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Speaker 6: I'm like, let's just hope for the best.

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Speaker 3: And I think that's what most of us do when.

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Speaker 6: I can't be bothered with all of the shenanigans around

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Speaker 6: makeup and all of this stuff.

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Speaker 1: It's like taking supplements. I don't want to do that either,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 6: I'd just rather get a shot a week with everything

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Speaker 6: in it and he'd done with it.

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Speaker 3: I'm exactly the same.

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Speaker 4: My kids were given all these supplements a while ago,

390
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Speaker 4: and try and get kids fucking tablets. I was like,

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Speaker 4: you get that at six am, you've got to have

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00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,400
Speaker 4: that at five, you know, and all these things. And

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Speaker 4: I just said to my husband, let's just not give

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Speaker 4: them anything, and we'll pay for a fucking kidney transplant

395
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Speaker 4: or whatever when they're sixteen.

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Speaker 3: I'd rather that. I'm not doing this shit.

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Speaker 1: How old are your boys now?

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Speaker 3: Ten and thirteen.

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Speaker 1: Do they respect you?

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Speaker 3: You just answered your own question.

401
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:51,240
Speaker 4: No, I'm I'm a lot for them say yes, sure, No,

402
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Speaker 4: they don't respect me.

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Speaker 3: People love their dad.

404
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Speaker 1: Do they think you're funny?

405
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:55,680
Speaker 3: More and more?

406
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:55,920
Speaker 4: Now?

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Speaker 1: Yoh more, because usually.

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Speaker 6: They go through a phase between those ages or around

409
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Speaker 6: those ages where they start to think, probably like thirteen

410
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 6: to sixteen more, where they are like, you're not funny,

411
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,320
Speaker 6: You're not cool. That's the age of that. Yeah, right,

412
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,880
Speaker 6: we'll turn on you. Yeah exactly. They're kind of getting

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00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,000
Speaker 6: there a little bit more. My kids don't have social

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Speaker 6: media and hopefully they never will. They don't have a

415
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:20,880
Speaker 6: game or anything like that. Really, but that's lucky your husband.

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Speaker 6: I'm really full on about it. I'm really fucking full

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Speaker 6: on you.

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Speaker 4: I just know I don't want to and I have

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Speaker 4: a really overactive brain and you know, having ADHD low dopamine.

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Speaker 3: So this thing just fucks me as it is. I

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Speaker 3: don't want that for my kids.

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Speaker 4: We've just always been really full on about it and

423
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,080
Speaker 4: kind of feel like it's easier to say no from

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Speaker 4: the beginning than give it to them and try and

425
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:49,040
Speaker 4: take it off them, because they become fucking heroinautic monsters.

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00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,360
Speaker 4: If you take it from them. So my kids are

427
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:52,720
Speaker 4: the Moor kids. When we go out for dinner with

428
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Speaker 4: friends and all the other kids are on their phone,

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Speaker 4: my kids sit come and sit down and go, I

430
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Speaker 4: want to play, you know, make them take cards and

431
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,080
Speaker 4: they all the kids end up playing, but we're just quiet.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's pronounced, you know.

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00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,560
Speaker 3: Just so you know.

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00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:12,240
Speaker 4: So that's what you guys, like, what game are you

435
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 4: peasants playing in Australia?

436
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,400
Speaker 1: But how do they respect?

437
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:17,280
Speaker 3: Like, well, their.

438
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,479
Speaker 4: Friends are on social media. So my oldest son came

439
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 4: home a few weeks ago. I was like, mom, my

440
00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,000
Speaker 4: friends have found you on TikTok And I was like

441
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Speaker 4: are you good?

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00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:26,879
Speaker 1: Are you are right?

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Speaker 3: And he goes, it's just weird. I was like, yeah,

444
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Speaker 3: you don't need to get it.

445
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Speaker 4: That's okay, but it's what I do and you'll be fine.

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Speaker 4: And also and then he's like, oh, I don't know,

447
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 4: it just makes me feel weird. I'm like, well, I

448
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,560
Speaker 4: kind of know Kevin Hart.

449
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,439
Speaker 3: He's like, oh, yeah, that's better. Like if I say that,

450
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,000
Speaker 3: if I drop a name, He's like, it's fine, it's fine.

451
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 3: You just have to play.

452
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,399
Speaker 6: How do you how do you justify you having social

453
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,960
Speaker 6: media as a profession and them not even being allowed

454
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:51,639
Speaker 6: to be on it, like.

455
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,600
Speaker 3: I say, it's work, yeah, which which it is for me.

456
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,600
Speaker 4: I'm hoping that we have been so full on about

457
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 4: it that they have almost kind of missed the time

458
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:02,879
Speaker 4: of being.

459
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 3: Obsessed with it.

460
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 4: It's not like a known thing to them, because that's

461
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 4: what it is, right, It's just fucking habit picking up

462
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 4: your phone. So I'm hoping that that has passed for them.

463
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:15,920
Speaker 4: But look, they'll they have phones and everything, but they

464
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,520
Speaker 4: I ask them as well to call me out. Sometimes

465
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:22,240
Speaker 4: if I'm on my phone, I'll get them to say, Mom,

466
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,320
Speaker 4: are you working or no? And I'll be like, oh shit,

467
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,880
Speaker 4: I'm not. And I'll get rid of my phone because

468
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,320
Speaker 4: I just go into a vorte or I just line go,

469
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,600
Speaker 4: yeah I'm working, I'm not.

470
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,439
Speaker 6: I keep waiting, like I guess this is kind of

471
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 6: like similar analogous to the Kardashians, Like I kept waiting

472
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 6: for it to end, and it just kept going and going,

473
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,919
Speaker 6: like I kept waiting for social media for there to

474
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,480
Speaker 6: be like a backlash on social media, Like no more.

475
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,679
Speaker 6: Everyone understands how damaging the impact of it is and

476
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 6: what we're going to do. I mean what we should

477
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,160
Speaker 6: do as a society, which is like to take a break.

478
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 6: You know, it's like all this misinformation, all this conspiracy

479
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:58,159
Speaker 6: theory bullshit. But that would require like an enlightenment, you know,

480
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:01,480
Speaker 6: through like a global enlightenment, and we're definitely not there.

481
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 3: No, I think.

482
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 4: I mean I've been here for a week or so now,

483
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 4: but I think I saw on line that at home

484
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:11,359
Speaker 4: in Australia we're bringing in our pre ministers bringing legislation

485
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,200
Speaker 4: that kids under sixteen I'm not allowed to have social media.

486
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,080
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I don't know another reason they moved to Australia.

487
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 3: Another yeah, but don't tell everyone to move to Australia. No,

488
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,760
Speaker 3: I wouldn't.

489
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 1: There's so many places you can go.

490
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 4: So I think they're looking to bring that in again.

491
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 4: I don't know how you fucking police that.

492
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 7: But some of the younger people too are like not

493
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,680
Speaker 7: using social media nineteen hours a day or nothing.

494
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, And I think if you can get past

495
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 6: the window of it being so like I have three

496
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 6: nieces and they're on social media, but they're not.

497
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,400
Speaker 1: Addicted to social media. Yeah yeah, like they don't post.

498
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,840
Speaker 6: They post once in a while, you know what, I mean,

499
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,360
Speaker 6: and I like that cadence more.

500
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, they don't post much, this is the thing, and

501
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,200
Speaker 4: they don't kind of post much.

502
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:53,880
Speaker 1: The kids.

503
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 4: I've noticed the young'uns, like the teens, early early twenties

504
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 4: kind of that they're not posters. It's like the twenty

505
00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 4: year olds that post. And so those young ones are

506
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 4: watching their stuff. My stepdaughters are twenty five and twenty three,

507
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,640
Speaker 4: and the twenty three ye old doesn't post. She might

508
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,119
Speaker 4: post once every six weeks because she went out to

509
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 4: a party or something. But they're not active on it,

510
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 4: which I don't know if I love, because just being

511
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:23,440
Speaker 4: passive on it and watching it and just infiltrating everything

512
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:24,840
Speaker 4: you do, I think that can be a bit more

513
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 4: dangerous and actively partaking in it.

514
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:27,400
Speaker 6: Yeah.

515
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,440
Speaker 1: Do you have one of those limits on your phone

516
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 1: where you like but ignore? Yeah, ignoring.

517
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 6: My friend is like, you can put a limit, and

518
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:34,360
Speaker 6: I was like, you can you tell me we could

519
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 6: fucking ignore the limit.

520
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 4: The limit comes up, it says fifteen minute limit, and

521
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,679
Speaker 4: then the biggest, brightest blue button under it says ignore.

522
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,920
Speaker 3: You go ignore. It's just easier.

523
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 1: How was your tour this summer? After I left you?

524
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 1: After I saw you was it.

525
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,199
Speaker 4: The Yeah, I saw you after my tour I was

526
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 4: in I was here May June.

527
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,639
Speaker 3: Fucking great, but you did it fucking great.

528
00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 1: Do you love being on tour?

529
00:20:58,920 --> 00:20:59,480
Speaker 3: I love it?

530
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:00,040
Speaker 1: What are you?

531
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 4: I'm getting better at it as well because I try

532
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 4: so many different ways of doing having kids right and

533
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 4: living in Australia, having touring over here.

534
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,159
Speaker 3: I can't just do weekends.

535
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 4: I'd love to do Thursday, Friday, Saturday or like you

536
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 4: know how you do it, but I can't, and we're

537
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 4: not moving over here, so I just have to why

538
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 4: is it not an amazing reason to move here? Have

539
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 4: I missed something I can help? Terrifying? So yeah, I

540
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 4: just kind of come over and bang it out over

541
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 4: six weeks when I'm in America. But so when I

542
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,800
Speaker 4: go home to Australia, I do try and do the Thursday, Friday,

543
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,920
Speaker 4: Saturdays and come home and I love it.

544
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,439
Speaker 3: I love life performance.

545
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 1: I know, I know, and it's also nice.

546
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 6: And it's also nice that cadence, because you could, you know,

547
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 6: you work on the weekends, you come home, you recover

548
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,639
Speaker 6: one day, it takes a day or two and recover

549
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 6: from the travel and whatever you got up to, and

550
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 6: then you go back out.

551
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 1: It's kind of like the perfect schedule.

552
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just wish I could do that over here

553
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 4: or make the same money I make over here home, right,

554
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 4: But you know no, but I love it.

555
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 6: Okay, on that we're going to take a break and

556
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 6: we'll be right back with Celeste barbera And we're back.

557
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,160
Speaker 1: With Celeste barber.

558
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 6: She's our very special guest all the way from the

559
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 6: Gold Coast.

560
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:18,120
Speaker 1: Right, that's where you.

561
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,120
Speaker 3: Live, kind of south of the Gold Coast.

562
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 1: I'm still unclear about it.

563
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 3: I like that though. I like people being unclear. That's

564
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 3: fine with me. It's fine with me. I saw someone actually.

565
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 4: When I was home. I was in a shop in

566
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 4: Sydney and she was like, what are you doing? No, actually,

567
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 4: I was in a shop near where I live.

568
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,360
Speaker 3: She goes, what are you doing here? And I went, oh,

569
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 3: I live around the err and she went no, you.

570
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 4: Don't what She goes, no, you don't you live in

571
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,119
Speaker 4: la And I went, all right, I'm just visiting.

572
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 3: I've just come here to visit. Like, sure, let's go

573
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 3: with that.

574
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 6: That reminds me of this book I read once, Rebecca Solnet.

575
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 6: It was called Late in the Dark or Phoning Late

576
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 6: in the dark or something. Anyway, it was very profound

577
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 6: book about being a woman. But she it starts out

578
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 6: with this chapter about and this is different because it's

579
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 6: a male and female dynamic, but she wrote she starts

580
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,239
Speaker 6: out with this chapter talking about how she was at

581
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 6: a dinner party and this man came up to her

582
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 6: and was telling her about her own book, quoting her book,

583
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 6: saying like, you should really read this book. It just

584
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 6: came up Mauchur in conversation. She's like, I actually I

585
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 6: wrote that book. And he was like, no, you did it.

586
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:21,880
Speaker 4: Oh wow.

587
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 1: She's like, yes, I wrote that book that you're telling me.

588
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 6: That the one that you're man explaining to me about

589
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 6: I fucking wrote.

590
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 4: When you're telling me the plotline about yeah, I wrote that. Also,

591
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,919
Speaker 4: do you find this one? People will probably not with you,

592
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 4: but in the street when they go, oh, hi, I

593
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 4: get this.

594
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,479
Speaker 3: A lot of people like why do I know you?

595
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 1: I find that to be the most annoying question.

596
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 4: I'm like well, and they go, did you go to

597
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 4: so and so school? And I'm like, don't do this, please,

598
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 4: it's not how you know. She goes, No, hang on

599
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 4: a minute. Now, you're a few years ahead of me.

600
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 4: And I'm like, this is going how I fucking hoped

601
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 4: it to go for you. But then someone goes, no,

602
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 4: oh no, that's right. You're working that cafe down the

603
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 4: road from me. I was like, yep, I do.

604
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 3: And I'm just taking the summer off, see ya. People

605
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,400
Speaker 3: tell you how they know you be like, no, don't

606
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 3: do this to it.

607
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 6: Last weekend, I was in New York City and I

608
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 6: got in the elevator with this couple. As I was

609
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 6: walking into my hotel, I could see that she was

610
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 6: like ogling me and you know, probably recognize me. So

611
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 6: we get in the elevator and and she and her

612
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 6: husband are both like staring at me. I'm on my phone,

613
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 6: actively pretending to be on my phone, you know, like,

614
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 6: please don't interact. I'm not in the mood for this

615
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,120
Speaker 6: kind of interaction. I can already tell you're gonna be annoying,

616
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 6: you know. And she goes, she goes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

617
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 6: We're from Toronto. And that was it, and I went

618
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,679
Speaker 6: what And she goes, we're from Toronto. How do we

619
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 6: know you?

620
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 4: If?

621
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 6: Like, you have to understand when you say something like that,

622
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 6: what am I supposed to do next?

623
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 3: East My credits exactly, Well, you.

624
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 1: May know me from.

625
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 4: Me on the Drew.

626
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,439
Speaker 6: Barrymore Show, and like, are you freaking kidding me? Like

627
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,080
Speaker 6: it's so stupid, like and she goes, it's just killing

628
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 6: I go, it's not killing you.

629
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 3: You just walked inside from the lobby into.

630
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 1: The elevator three minutes. Nothing is killing you about the situation.

631
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 1: You could have easily ignored it and just never figured

632
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:11,879
Speaker 1: out who I was.

633
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 3: Well, mate it up.

634
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 1: But now I'm just like, I'm Chelsea Hammler and that's it.

635
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 6: That's all you get, and you figure it out from

636
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 6: there if you're not familiar.

637
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 3: And was She like, no, you Chelse, you are.

638
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:24,360
Speaker 1: She's like Elizabeth Banks.

639
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 6: Okay, we're going to take some callers and questions and

640
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 6: we're going to give real life advice.

641
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 1: This is what we do here.

642
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 3: So I have the fucking will. Let's go.

643
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, let's get the party started.

644
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 7: Well, Heather writes in and she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm

645
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 7: an avid listener and a longtime fan, and I can't

646
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 7: wait to see you in Vegas. Thinking of going for

647
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 7: my future ex husband's birthday. Oh I love it, love

648
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 7: that I've been married for almost twenty years, and we

649
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 7: have two children adopted from foster care. A few months ago,

650
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,199
Speaker 7: I was out of town with the kids and he

651
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 7: welcomed an online hooker into our home, and when he

652
00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 7: passed out drunk, she stole my jewelry and makeup. He

653
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 7: proceeded to blame the kids for stealing it, lied about

654
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 7: it for days until I found the deleted text on

655
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 7: his phone. I knew, damn well a woman stole the

656
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 7: things because it was so precisely done. I should thank

657
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 7: her for the evidence. He wants to quote fix things,

658
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 7: but I am not down for that. We've had many

659
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 7: prior conversations regarding infidelity and my firm stance of not

660
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 7: tolerating it, so needless to say, I am done. Our

661
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 7: immediate family and close friends know what's going on. My

662
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,479
Speaker 7: kids and I are in therapy. So my question is this,

663
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 7: how do I tell others, mutual friends, coworkers, my longtime patience,

664
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,439
Speaker 7: I'm a physical therapist when they say how's the family

665
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:37,640
Speaker 7: or how are you? And I'm not sure what to say.

666
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 7: The honest answer feels too raw for some people, but

667
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 7: acting like nothing is wrong feels ick. Also, what's the

668
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,159
Speaker 7: middle ground? Thanks for your advice. Heather, Oh I have

669
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 7: I know.

670
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,400
Speaker 6: I know well, first of all, you don't owe anyone

671
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 6: no explanation. I understand that I desire to want to

672
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,360
Speaker 6: be truthful and transparent when you're going through something, because

673
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 6: it's like when someone says how are you and you're

674
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,719
Speaker 6: about to break down and you're like, I'm good. You know,

675
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 6: I understand what the desire and you have, and you

676
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,639
Speaker 6: have every rate to also be transparent to the degree

677
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 6: that you're comfortable with. So you can easily just say

678
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 6: we're actually gonna separate. You know, we're separating without giving them.

679
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 6: Your doctor's not going to be like, what happened. You

680
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 6: don't have to say I caught him with an online

681
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 6: hooker who stole my jewelry.

682
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: Although that's gonna be a good story later down the road.

683
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,399
Speaker 4: See, I would I would say that that is my advice.

684
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 4: I not write into me, but she's really that would

685
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 4: be my advice. Heather has taken too much time looking

686
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 4: after other people. I think she should say to a gynecologist,

687
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 4: I'm happy you ask.

688
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 3: He's a piece of ship.

689
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 4: Where in Vegas he gets some hooker, she steals my shit.

690
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 4: She he blames the kids that now I'm here, I

691
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 4: would just say it outright.

692
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 6: That's also an option, also an option. There's really there's

693
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 6: really no losing way to deal with this situation.

694
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 3: Don'torry about how the people feel about it.

695
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I wouldn't help people, So I agree.

696
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 6: When you're going through some sort of like maelstrom of

697
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 6: emotion like that, and you're dealing with breaking the break

698
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 6: of your marriage, like the last thing you have to

699
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:03,879
Speaker 6: worry about is how other people are viewing you.

700
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 1: Who gives a shit?

701
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 6: And like, yeah, take this as a new license in life,

702
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 6: like our new Lisa on life, Like you're moving forward

703
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 6: and this is your attitude.

704
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 3: Fuck off, yeah, fuck off?

705
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, Heather, there you have it.

706
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 7: Well, our next question comes from Amanda, and she's gonna

707
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 7: be joining us here, Brad, we have Amanda, right.

708
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,199
Speaker 1: She comes out from the kitchen.

709
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 2: Amanda's welcome, Amanda, Delly, Dear Chelsea.

710
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,120
Speaker 7: My name is Amanda, and I'm currently in my thirteenth

711
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,359
Speaker 7: year in public education. While I'm financially stable, i am

712
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 7: unequivocally unhappy. In an effort to change up my routine

713
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 7: and job role, I've transitioned from classroom teacher to instructional

714
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 7: coach and back again a couple of times, but to

715
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 7: no avail. Despite the knowledge that I'm doing important work,

716
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 7: I've lost my passion. I feel as though I'm at

717
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 7: a personal crossroads and need your guidance. Since I was young,

718
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 7: I've always wanted to be a writer. I dabbled in

719
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 7: music journalism in college and have done some freelance work.

720
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 7: Though I haven't been published in quite a while and

721
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 7: my writing is basically confined to journaling, I can't shake

722
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 7: the feeling that now would be a great time to

723
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 7: reignite that passion and challenge myself to completely shift my

724
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 7: career trajectory. At almost forty one years old, with a

725
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 7: wealth of education and life experience, it seems like there's

726
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 7: no time like the present. I can't found them taking

727
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 7: a pay cut, especially being a single woman living in

728
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 7: San Diego, the alone, walking away from the only constant

729
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 7: in my life for the past thirteen years.

730
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: So where do I begin.

731
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 7: I'm trying to get back to structured writing time, connect

732
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 7: with friends who are already successful in the industry, and

733
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 7: even have the opportunity to reconnect with a former writing coach.

734
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 7: I guess I'm just hoping for some insight from someone

735
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 7: who I admire and respect. How do you hold yourself

736
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 7: accountable and practice the self discipline needed to be a

737
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 7: success in this field? How do I pursue this avenue

738
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 7: that lacks job security? My next steps feel murky, and

739
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 7: for the first time in my life, I'm scared to

740
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 7: take the leap Amanda.

741
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 1: Hi Abdi Hi.

742
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 6: First of all, it sounds like you're doing all of

743
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 6: the things that you need to be doing to get

744
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 6: the party started.

745
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 8: Yes, And since I've written in I've essentially given myself

746
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 8: permission to exit this profession. I started to realize how

747
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 8: emotionally drained I've been at the end of every workday,

748
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 8: left no room to try to focus on this like

749
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 8: creative endeavor. So I've been very aggressively looking for new

750
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 8: work that will just pay the bills, but let me

751
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 8: focus on, you know, my personal hobbies and where I'd

752
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 8: like to kind of go professionally.

753
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, like, under the assumption that the writing isn't going

754
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 6: to pay dividends right away, right, you need something to

755
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 6: like tide you over while you're exploring.

756
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: The writing, right exactly, So do you know what that's

757
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 1: going to be or you is that one of your questions.

758
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 8: Well, that's just kind of still I've actually been working

759
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 8: with a job coach to like update my resume and

760
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 8: because for jobs is so different than it was thirteen

761
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 8: years ago that I've had to do a lot of

762
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 8: kind of work on that end to get the applications

763
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 8: out there. So that's what I'm just trying to be

764
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 8: really focused on doing so I can get to a

765
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 8: better place where I'm not so miserable going to work

766
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:01,240
Speaker 8: every day.

767
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 6: Absolutely, that's not going to give you any energy to

768
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 6: be creative.

769
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 3: Right exactly.

770
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,959
Speaker 8: So now it's just kind of like continuing to put

771
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 8: that out there and just starting to like build in

772
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 8: some structured writing time. I guess like my big questions

773
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 8: are kind of like how to hold yourself accountable for

774
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 8: something that's like seemingly done in isolation.

775
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 1: Well easily.

776
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 6: I mean it's kind of like everything you do in isolation,

777
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 6: like whether you meditate, whether you like do your positive affirmations,

778
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 6: whether you like I do all of those things. I

779
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 6: exercise alone mostly I have a trainer, but that kind

780
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 6: of feels like I'm alone anyway because of his personality.

781
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: But I I do.

782
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 6: With writing, I'm I don't really I'm not a big

783
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 6: person about structure, Like I kind of like let the

784
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 6: when I'm feeling motivated or inspired, like you know, when

785
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 6: I read something really great that makes me want to

786
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 6: write something, you know, so my creative, my creativity, I

787
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:00,080
Speaker 6: should say.

788
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: And bursts. It's very unstructured.

789
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 6: I have a new book and that took like three

790
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 6: years because I started one place, I changed it many times.

791
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 1: But I think for someone.

792
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 6: Who craves structure, and Celeste obviously chime in whenever you

793
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 6: feel like because she's a creative too. I didn't even

794
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 6: introduce our special guest, Celest Barbera. I'm sorry, but I

795
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 6: would just schedule yourself, Like if you sit down for

796
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 6: even if it's thirty minutes a day, it sounds like

797
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 6: you're going to be wanting to even write more than that.

798
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 6: You're going to be wanting to write for an hour,

799
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 6: a couple of hours a day once you start doing

800
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 6: that daily, like you where you put your phone away,

801
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 6: you put your stuff away, and you just sit at

802
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 6: your desk or whatever place that gives you the most

803
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 6: inspiration in a structured way. Really put yourself in there,

804
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 6: set your alarm somewhere, you know, in the house for

805
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 6: two hours later and sit there and like the act

806
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 6: of creativity begets the act of creativity absolutely once you

807
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 6: start writing, like whatever, Like if I have to write

808
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 6: a new hour for stand up, you know, whenever I

809
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 6: film a special, whenever we film a special, you have

810
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 6: to write another new hour of material. Like whenever I

811
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 6: have to write new material, I'm like, ughugh, you know,

812
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 6: it's like a hurdle.

813
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: It's what am I going to write about? What am

814
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 1: I going to talk about?

815
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 4: Absolutely, And I'm the same with you my creativity. And

816
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 4: like when I wrote my book again, it came in bursts,

817
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 4: so you know, it'll be dinner time and I'd be like, oh,

818
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 4: so I'd sit at the kitchen bench while my husband

819
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 4: did everything, and I'd be like, I've got it.

820
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 3: It just kind of came.

821
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 4: But then for my last hour for my new tour

822
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 4: that I'm doing, I did exactly what you're saying.

823
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 3: I just set a timer. I literally set a timer.

824
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 4: I took the kids to school, set a time for

825
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 4: three hours in my office and was like, I'm not

826
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 4: moving from here. It doesn't matter kind of what you're writing.

827
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 4: But then you find with that structure and being a

828
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 4: creative that even after it could be after ten minutes,

829
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 4: after an hour and a half, you're like, oh no,

830
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 4: there's real flow here.

831
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 3: You just have to make yourself do it.

832
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

833
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, And allotting a certain amount of time is a

834
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 6: very good way. It really helps you to just kind

835
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 6: of you get in the habit of it, because then

836
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 6: before you know it, you're spending more time doing it.

837
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 6: I'm always writing in my note section two, like little

838
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 6: ideas for things, or this could be a good joke,

839
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 6: or this is a good punchline or whatever. You know,

840
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 6: those will happen throughout the day, you know, and the

841
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,760
Speaker 6: more honed in you get on creativity, the more creative

842
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,479
Speaker 6: you become. So I think everything that you've said you've done.

843
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 6: It's like most people haven't done all those things. So

844
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,399
Speaker 6: you're already like more than halfway there, and I think

845
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 6: what follows is going to be just a very natural

846
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 6: progression for you.

847
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 8: Okay, thank you.

848
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 1: Are you already doing that?

849
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 8: I am No, I'm in terms of the creative writing,

850
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 8: I'm not there yet.

851
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 1: What do you want to write about right now?

852
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,240
Speaker 8: I'm kind of looking more like on the novel side,

853
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 8: kind of just like leaning from some personal life experience,

854
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 8: but writing trying to fictionalize it a little bit more,

855
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:52,839
Speaker 8: and I think part of the hesitance with that is

856
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:57,240
Speaker 8: sometimes I have to go to like really painful, dark

857
00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 8: places to get that out. And while I know the

858
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 8: end product is catharsis, when it comes to just like

859
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 8: getting it out there, I think sometimes when I'm like

860
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 8: I have to go there, I kind of like try

861
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 8: to keep it out in arm's length and almost avoid well.

862
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,399
Speaker 6: I would I could speak from experience that you want

863
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 6: to get as close to all of that stuff as

864
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 6: possible because that's where all of your you know, your

865
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 6: your personal stories.

866
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 1: I mean, you can't lose with that stuff.

867
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 6: And while you might think it's going to be scary

868
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 6: or something hard to difficult emotions to face, once you

869
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 6: face those emotions, you realize how much you overestimated your

870
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 6: own security. Now, Like when you're looking back at something

871
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 6: you can you can be fearful of it, and then

872
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 6: once you face it, you realize you have nothing on me.

873
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,759
Speaker 6: And it's quite cathartic to write about the pain that

874
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,280
Speaker 6: we experience in our lives.

875
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 4: And I find as well, the thought of writing about it,

876
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 4: or the thought of dealing with it in a creative

877
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 4: sense is always much more terrifying and daunting than actually

878
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 4: doing it in my experience.

879
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 3: Because it's cathasis.

880
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 4: As you say, the idea of sitting down and having

881
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 4: to dive into something is too big, and so you

882
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,840
Speaker 4: avoid it. But once you're in it, it can be

883
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,720
Speaker 4: very fulfilling. I'd also say, do the easy chapters first,

884
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 4: Do the fun, light stuff first, do even just start

885
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 4: that structure idea of setting an alarm, and write the

886
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 4: nice fun stuff, just to get yourself into that routine

887
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,240
Speaker 4: and into that discipline before you have to go deep.

888
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 8: Absolutely, thank you.

889
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,359
Speaker 3: How would you approach.

890
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 8: You know, like, obviously I'm thinking much longer turn, like

891
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 8: long run at this point, self publishing, reaching out to publishers.

892
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 1: What might that process look like? I think that this

893
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,760
Speaker 1: whole media world is so different.

894
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 6: Everything is changing so fast, everything is online, Everything is

895
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 6: about striking a chord. It doesn't like these old world publishers, Like, yeah,

896
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 6: they can be an advantage in many respects, but also

897
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 6: people are self publishing all the time and the most

898
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 6: important thing to do is like to get a dialogue

899
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 6: going with people. So like to think about social media

900
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 6: as a useful way for you to see out your

901
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 6: career strategy right to use that, to use these platforms

902
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 6: to you know, whether you're writing little snippets every day

903
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:17,279
Speaker 6: of like motivational things for people or funny little like

904
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 6: snippets of like, you know, a couple of lines of

905
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 6: a funny story or an experience that happened to you

906
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 6: at the grocery store, something that can relate to other

907
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 6: people and get them interested in what you're giving them,

908
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 6: you know. And then you're building an audience and you're

909
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 6: building like a fan base almost you know, of relayability,

910
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:36,439
Speaker 6: so that that kind of gives you more of an

911
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 6: avenue if and when you do decide to self publish.

912
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 6: But in terms of reaching out for publishers, you just

913
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 6: kind of have to knock on doors and try to

914
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 6: get yourself a literary agent.

915
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 1: I don't think that's the only way to do that anymore.

916
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 3: I agree with social media absolutely.

917
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:54,280
Speaker 4: There's an audience for everything now, an audience for everything

918
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 4: and anything now, and yeah, kind of tasing it out

919
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 4: then you get people will follow. So we're like, oh,

920
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 4: actually that resonates with me, and they follow along and

921
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,360
Speaker 4: they want to know more. And yeah, then you build

922
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 4: an audience and you don't always have to do it

923
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 4: the traditional why anymore of going to a publisher.

924
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 6: And you always have to know that there is an

925
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 6: audience when you're talking about your point of view about something,

926
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,800
Speaker 6: There's always an audience, you know, Like, don't underestimate the

927
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 6: value of that, because if you're sharing your personal life,

928
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,720
Speaker 6: there are always going to be other women, whether they're

929
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:24,919
Speaker 6: in the same area as you or in the same

930
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 6: age group as you. Like somebody I think of as

931
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 6: Kaitlyn Murray. Do you know Kitlyn Murray? She talks about

932
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,720
Speaker 6: just what a pain in the ascid is having children

933
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,799
Speaker 6: while she still loves her children, and she's developed this

934
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 6: huge following which led to a book, which led to

935
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 6: she has her own podcast. Now you have to figure out,

936
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 6: like what your currency is, right, Big Time Adulting is

937
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 6: her Instagram And this woman is really fun and has

938
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 6: three children and it's just like, you know what they

939
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 6: never told you about parenting. You know what they never

940
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 6: said is that when you drop your fucking kids off,

941
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 6: you just want to sit in your car and smoke

942
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 6: a joy for three hours, you know, like, and how

943
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 6: on camptor life is. But she's a great example of

944
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,359
Speaker 6: finding that niche that is going to register with other

945
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 6: people and resonate with other people and then building from there.

946
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,239
Speaker 6: And if you're talking about writing fiction, you know, maybe

947
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,879
Speaker 6: there's cute little like stories you can tell about your

948
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,799
Speaker 6: daily activities or interactions that you've had with people. Just

949
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 6: really start to think about, like what kind of messages

950
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:24,400
Speaker 6: are you trying to send out? You know, what is

951
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 6: your kind of hook to get people? And it might

952
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 6: take a while, but you'll be surprised at how easily

953
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 6: you can grow something when you're sharing parts of yourself

954
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 6: with other people, because everyone kind of wants that, you know,

955
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 6: people want to hear other people's stories. They want to

956
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 6: hear other people's trials and tribulations.

957
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,800
Speaker 4: And it takes a lot of work. Don't be disheartened

958
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 4: by that. Don't think, oh, this is.

959
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 3: Really really hard. I probably shouldn't be.

960
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 4: It's it's really fucking hard, I think to have self discipline,

961
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 4: especially you know, as a woman going you don't have

962
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 4: to ask permission to start an Instagram account to stop

963
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,280
Speaker 4: putting these quotes up like Chelsea sang or to start

964
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,760
Speaker 4: reaching out. It takes a lot of work.

965
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 6: And you can also even have an Instagram post where

966
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 6: you're where you post a video saying, Hey, I'm somebody

967
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 6: who's recent, you know, newly career free. I'm looking to

968
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 6: develop a career in writing. I'm looking to develop a

969
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 6: career in fiction writing. If anyone out there wants to

970
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 6: join like a group with me, you know, where you

971
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 6: can talk to other writers, Like, really put yourself out there,

972
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 6: because you'll be surprised at how responsive people will be

973
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 6: in your community and how many other people may be

974
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 6: like minded or may know somebody who's like, oh, I

975
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,240
Speaker 6: can hook you up with this person.

976
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:38,959
Speaker 4: Yeah.

977
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 8: I love that too, because I feel like having like

978
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 8: accountability partners is super important for me. Otherwise I'm like, oh,

979
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 8: I got this and then you know, three years later

980
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 8: and draft one and still in motion.

981
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, but definitely sit down and give yourself that a

982
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 6: lot of time. Whatever is doable and manageable for you.

983
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 6: Make sure you do that every day for at least

984
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 6: five days a week for the next month, and I

985
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 6: promise you by the end of the month you'll be

986
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 6: spending more than you're allotted time doing it.

987
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 1: Perfect And also good for you for quitting a job that's.

988
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,720
Speaker 2: Not absolutely amazing.

989
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:09,920
Speaker 3: Absolutely that's massive.

990
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:13,319
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's I mean, we don't need to go there,

991
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 8: but I'm scared to see what's going to happen in

992
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 8: education in the next four years.

993
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 1: Anyway, So I don't blame you.

994
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:19,720
Speaker 3: What's happened happened.

995
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 1: Nothing happens here. She's from Australia, so she doesn't watch

996
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:23,800
Speaker 1: the news. She doesn't know what's happened.

997
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 3: It hasn't been all over the Australian news that what's.

998
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 1: Going on Australia is so too far away to know

999
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 1: about America.

1000
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 7: Wait for you to stay there, all right, Thank you

1001
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 7: so much, Amanda check in with us.

1002
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, thank you all so much.

1003
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 2: I appreciate your time today.

1004
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 1: Bye, Manda, good luck with everything.

1005
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 8: Thank you.

1006
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 7: I will also send this to her. But book talk

1007
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,399
Speaker 7: I have heard has been very helpful for a lot

1008
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:48,760
Speaker 7: of authors. Book okay on TikTok, the books area on TikTok.

1009
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 7: I get all my recommendations from there. I know a

1010
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 7: couple authors who are like, this is the way I've

1011
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 7: gotten myself published novel out there.

1012
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 2: And they post about all kinds of stuff.

1013
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,120
Speaker 1: A lot of people self published now.

1014
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 7: So yeah, yeah, so well. Our next caller is Sarah.

1015
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,800
Speaker 7: She says, Dear Chelsea, my brother proposed to his longtime

1016
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,359
Speaker 7: girlfriend over the summer and asked our parents to help

1017
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 7: fund the wedding. Pretty normal stuff, but I found out

1018
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 7: there's some tension about money, the wedding location, other details.

1019
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 7: Not super fun, but I guess that's typical for a

1020
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 7: wedding where everyone's a decision maker. A while back, my

1021
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 7: brother's fiance called to let me know that they've decided

1022
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 7: to keep the wedding parties small, just two people on

1023
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 7: each side, and they wanted to make sure I was

1024
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,879
Speaker 7: okay with not being part of the bridal party. Her

1025
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 7: sister and best friends are the two bridesmaids. I was

1026
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 7: honestly fine with it, and I wasn't expecting to be included.

1027
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 7: They even asked me to be the witness when they

1028
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:40,879
Speaker 7: signed the documents, so I felt I left the call

1029
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 7: feeling totally okay. Fast forward a couple of weeks and

1030
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 7: my brother's fiance calls me stressed out. Apparently my dad

1031
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 7: has been sharing his opinion that it's incredibly hurtful and

1032
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,799
Speaker 7: mean that I'm not in the bridal party.

1033
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:53,839
Speaker 2: He's even told her.

1034
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,399
Speaker 7: That even though I've said I'm fine, I'm just being

1035
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 7: nice and would never reveal how I really feel. My

1036
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 7: dad claimed he only shared his thoughts with my brother,

1037
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 7: but my brother's fiance showed me his texts and they

1038
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,799
Speaker 7: tell a different story. I get where both sides are

1039
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 7: coming from. Weddings don't look like they did in the eighties,

1040
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 7: but I don't agree with how my dad is handling it.

1041
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:13,800
Speaker 7: I've been staying out of it, but we're still a

1042
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 7: year out from the wedding, and this bridal party drama

1043
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 7: is creating unnecessary tension around an event that's supposed to

1044
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,959
Speaker 7: be joyful. Should I step in or stay out of it?

1045
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 2: Sarah?

1046
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 1: Hi, Sarah?

1047
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:25,399
Speaker 9: Hello, how's it going?

1048
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:26,320
Speaker 3: Hi?

1049
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 1: This is our special guest, the last barber today.

1050
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 3: Hi, Sarah, how are you good?

1051
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 1: You look sweet?

1052
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 3: Very sweet.

1053
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 4: First of all, weddings aren't fun. I'll just say that

1054
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 4: up front someone who has had one. My wedding was

1055
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 4: the best. Everyone says that about their wedding. But I

1056
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 4: think you're right in not being a part of the

1057
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 4: bridal party. Being a part of the bridal party is an.

1058
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 1: Absolute, solute pain in the ass.

1059
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 3: Pain in the ass. It's a nightmare.

1060
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,760
Speaker 4: So I think you've made an excellent decision, especially now

1061
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 4: that you're still a year out from this wedding and

1062
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,040
Speaker 4: already the bridal party's being picked. This seems like a

1063
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 4: little bit of a high mind and it's wedding. I

1064
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 4: think you've done a very good job of staying out

1065
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:03,359
Speaker 4: of it.

1066
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 1: Well, it's not her choice to stay out of it.

1067
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 1: They've kind of just basically decided that she was going

1068
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:07,439
Speaker 1: to stay.

1069
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 3: But I'm not having the shits about it not going.

1070
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 3: But I want, but I want.

1071
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 4: I think it's very good to be like, right, I

1072
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:14,319
Speaker 4: can actually wear what I want and get you know,

1073
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 4: black out drunk and downing and what.

1074
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 6: How do you actually feel about not being in the

1075
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 6: wedding party?

1076
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,319
Speaker 9: I mean, I'm honestly pretty indifferent. I don't think I

1077
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,320
Speaker 9: really expected it. It's not like it's not something that

1078
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 9: I just like I am aware of as it being

1079
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:30,040
Speaker 9: a tradition, Like I know that, like I have some

1080
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 9: family who like will do that and like they'll have

1081
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 9: like a much larger bridal party. But so many people

1082
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 9: I know are just doing things so differently that my

1083
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,360
Speaker 9: expectations were so low, if non existent.

1084
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 1: So well, that's very healthy attitude, Like I.

1085
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 9: Mean, okay, I mean I think if it was like, yeah,

1086
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 9: I'm going to have eight people and like, this girl

1087
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,840
Speaker 9: I just met yesterday is also part of my bridal party,

1088
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:50,840
Speaker 9: but I just can't include you. Then i'd be a

1089
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 9: little concerned. But I'm not her sister or her friend

1090
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 9: that's you know, known her whole life, so I don't

1091
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 9: really kind of expect to be in that.

1092
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:00,800
Speaker 2: Right to minimum.

1093
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 1: So no, I think you're absolutely right on the money.

1094
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: I like, I don't.

1095
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 6: I don't like any drama like regarding stuff like this.

1096
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 6: It's so stupid, you know, like, let people do what

1097
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:10,399
Speaker 6: they want to do. But what did your dad write

1098
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:11,879
Speaker 6: in the text that you saw to her?

1099
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 9: Oh my god, I don't even I don't even remember,

1100
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 9: but oh my head, it was it was just very like,

1101
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,719
Speaker 9: you're just being very mean. We really don't like this,

1102
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 9: we really don't like the way that it's setting the

1103
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 9: tone for the future. That it was just like a

1104
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 9: long kind of paragraph. And he was like, you know,

1105
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 9: very insistent on like, no, I'm just trying to do

1106
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 9: this with my brother. He's just I'm just trying to

1107
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 9: communicate with my brother. I'm not trying to like involve

1108
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 9: anyone else. But I'm like, but you literally said a

1109
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:40,760
Speaker 9: text to her as a physical why's.

1110
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 3: That's got opinions.

1111
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 2: Wow, that's got big feelings.

1112
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 9: I was just kind of like surprised at the intensity.

1113
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 9: It's one thing to be like, oh, well, like for me, know,

1114
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 9: my my you know, nephew's wedding, his wife had my

1115
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 9: you know, cousin as part of the ronadal party. But

1116
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 9: like that's maybe one example, maybe just a few examples,

1117
00:45:57,520 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 9: and you can't just kind of rely on just a

1118
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,399
Speaker 9: few examples as the norm and so out.

1119
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, But also your dad just should also chill out.

1120
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 6: He's already nosy, Nelly, you should And you've talked to

1121
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 6: your father about this, right.

1122
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 9: I mean a little bit. I mean like he tried

1123
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 9: to get you know, I kind of really just try

1124
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 9: to stay out of it and really just try to

1125
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 9: kind of like not respond for a while because I

1126
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 9: was just like, I don't want to deal with this.

1127
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,240
Speaker 3: It sounds like your dad wants to be a bridesmaid.

1128
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,919
Speaker 3: That's what it sounds like. It sounds like your dad's

1129
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 3: past it has on a bridesmaid. Is it is your dad?

1130
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,759
Speaker 4: Just is your dad upset just the fact that you

1131
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 4: have it been asked to be a bride'smide or is

1132
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 4: the other things to do with the wedding that he's

1133
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 4: also not stoked about.

1134
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 9: I mean, there's probably other things too, so it's probably

1135
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,399
Speaker 9: just layered on top of it, like part of it's

1136
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 9: a destination wedding, you know, there's a lot of money involved,

1137
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 9: there's who gets invited, all that stuff, and so there's

1138
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 9: I'm sure a plethora of other things.

1139
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 4: Well.

1140
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 6: A good way to nip it in the bud permanently

1141
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,879
Speaker 6: would be to send them a text, your father and

1142
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 6: your brother and his fiance a thread and be like, hey, guys,

1143
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 6: I noticed there's been some dissension about my involvement in

1144
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:01,759
Speaker 6: the wedding and the wedding party, and I just want

1145
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 6: you to hear it straight from me. I am completely indifferent,

1146
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 6: like what you just said to being in your wedding party.

1147
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 6: There are no issues for me, so I wanted to

1148
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:13,360
Speaker 6: make that clear you, my future sister in law, my brother,

1149
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 6: and my father, who are all on this chain, This

1150
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:18,799
Speaker 6: is not an issue for me, because then what does

1151
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 6: your father have to say. Then he has to complain

1152
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:22,640
Speaker 6: about what he's really upset about, which is paying for

1153
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 6: this destination wedding.

1154
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 4: Exactly, and then he'll respond by just going Dad, lift

1155
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:31,440
Speaker 4: the chat.

1156
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:32,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good idea.

1157
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 9: It hasn't really been brought up lately, but you know,

1158
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 9: there's many months out. I'm sure he'll get brought up again,

1159
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 9: and so I feel kind of confident in.

1160
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I think your attitude is right on the money, Like,

1161
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 6: don't get involved in wedding drama. Wedding drama is the

1162
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 6: most annoying drama, especially destination wedding drama.

1163
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 1: And I offer this one day.

1164
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 6: You know, like I understand weddings are important to people,

1165
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 6: but it's like, just relax. It's so uncool when people

1166
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:56,839
Speaker 6: get like they're panties in a twist about it.

1167
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 1: It should be a celebration, not yeah.

1168
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 3: It's a big party with an open bar, Like just if.

1169
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 1: You're lucky it has an open bar.

1170
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 6: I had a couple of people that invited me to weddings.

1171
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 6: It didn't have an open a bar. And because he

1172
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:09,000
Speaker 6: didn't go to that wedding.

1173
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 3: You didn't go to that wedding, you didn't bring party.

1174
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 4: Fa.

1175
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 6: No, sometimes I bring my own bar if I have to.

1176
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:15,279
Speaker 6: My cousin had a wedding, he's like, we're just doing

1177
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 6: beer and wine. I'm like, that will be my gift

1178
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 6: to you is the bar, because if you're going to

1179
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:21,240
Speaker 6: have a wedding like that, I won't be there unless

1180
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 6: there's a bar.

1181
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 1: And you don't want people having beer and wine. Where

1182
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:24,839
Speaker 1: does that get you?

1183
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:27,839
Speaker 6: Missy fucking sick of wine anyway, sick of people talking

1184
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,359
Speaker 6: about wine anyway.

1185
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 7: So do you think she needs to, like specifically talk

1186
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 7: to her sister in law.

1187
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 6: I'll be like, no, you're not involved in this, Like

1188
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:38,600
Speaker 6: if you want to, but I would just send a

1189
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 6: text to all three of them so that in.

1190
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 1: Writing they can't keep talking about it.

1191
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 2: You know this was not sent under duress.

1192
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,239
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know where this conversation came from, but

1193
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 6: I just want everyone to know where I'm coming from

1194
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 6: so that there's no confusion. I'm totally fine with this.

1195
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 6: I'm happy you guys are getting married. I can't wait

1196
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 6: to go to the wedding.

1197
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,399
Speaker 1: See you there, dad.

1198
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:58,359
Speaker 3: I have a die off.

1199
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 1: Needs to thank you, okay, take care, Thank you so much.

1200
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,120
Speaker 1: She seemed like such an innocent.

1201
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 3: She's like, I don't care. I'm so fine with it.

1202
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:12,839
Speaker 6: It's almost like you know some which she was giving

1203
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:14,879
Speaker 6: all the reasons like, well, you know, cousins sometimes put

1204
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:16,879
Speaker 6: there and it's like, who told you that, like.

1205
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 3: Only coached a bullet.

1206
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 1: Being a bridesmaid is a pain in the ass.

1207
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 7: I know someone who had I think sixteen bridesmaids because

1208
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 7: she didn't want to leave anybody else.

1209
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 3: I don't have that many friends. I don't know sixteen people.

1210
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 4: In my stupids years of being alive, I have not

1211
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:35,479
Speaker 4: had sixteen friends over that time.

1212
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 7: That's ridiculous, ridiculous. No, it was crazy, crazy crazy. Okay, well,

1213
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 7: let's take a quick break and we'll be back to

1214
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 7: wrap up with a little light one.

1215
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: Okay, we're going to take a break.

1216
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:53,279
Speaker 7: We're back now, we are back, so Caroline writes, and

1217
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 7: this specifically, I would love for a celest to weigh

1218
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 7: in on. Of course you Chelsea too, but thank you

1219
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 7: for this might be the last question. It is the list,

1220
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 7: Dear celast I've been with my husband for seventeen years,

1221
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 7: and he's always always had a strong body odor. The

1222
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 7: last few years, though, it seems that it has gotten stronger.

1223
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 7: He's given up using standard aluminum based deodorant and only

1224
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 7: uses natural brands. I've run the gamut trying to help

1225
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,359
Speaker 7: him find a good deodorant that covers his smell, but

1226
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 7: it just doesn't cut it. He has great hygiene, he

1227
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 7: showers once to twice daily, but he still stinks. He's

1228
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:27,319
Speaker 7: also very sensitive and embarrassed about his bio, and I

1229
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 7: have to try lightly when asking him nicely to change

1230
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 7: his shirt, put on deodorant.

1231
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 2: Et cetera.

1232
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:34,240
Speaker 7: I think it may be related to stress or diet,

1233
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 7: or maybe it's just his genetic makeup. Regardless, it's hard

1234
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:39,760
Speaker 7: for me to hug him or be intimate without wanting

1235
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:40,760
Speaker 7: to hold my breath.

1236
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 2: It's that bad.

1237
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:43,879
Speaker 3: WHOA please help?

1238
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 7: How can I get his stinky ass smelling batter caroline?

1239
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 3: Absolute red flag?

1240
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 4: If hey, it's natural deodorant, I would My husband went

1241
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:55,319
Speaker 4: through a phase where he's like, I want to just

1242
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,399
Speaker 4: use natural deodorant. I was like, well, then you can

1243
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 4: go in find a nice, pretty new wife. Is absolutely

1244
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 4: not and he doesn't have any bodiod issues. Yeah, delicious,

1245
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 4: but that is an absolute deal breaker for me. I

1246
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 4: find it has he I wonder if he's been to

1247
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 4: the doctor. Is this something where I can get like

1248
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 4: botox shots?

1249
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 6: Well not only that, but yeah, botox shots you can

1250
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 6: get under your arm, FYI to stop sweating. But if

1251
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 6: he has a natural like a strong odor than like that.

1252
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,760
Speaker 6: It usually does have something to do with your pH

1253
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 6: balance or your diet. So like he should go to

1254
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 6: a doctor, and he should be proactive about this because

1255
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 6: you're his wife and you've been married to him for

1256
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 6: what seventeen years, So that's like yeah, and I don't

1257
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 6: care if he's sensitive about it. Like you need to

1258
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 6: figure out a solution to this problem that you're having

1259
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:46,359
Speaker 6: to endure because your husband hasn't figured it out yet,

1260
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:50,279
Speaker 6: and going to a non aluminum based deoderan is not the.

1261
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:53,319
Speaker 3: He's going to a studio apartment down the street. There's

1262
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,280
Speaker 3: no way. And if he's getting to a point where.

1263
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:58,840
Speaker 4: You can't hug him because he's it's so gross, he

1264
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:00,399
Speaker 4: needs to get that out.

1265
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 6: I can't believe you've endured seventeen years though, of someone

1266
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:07,439
Speaker 6: with bodyodor. I once stated a guy who had body odor,

1267
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 6: and I had it wasn't It wasn't body odor. There

1268
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 6: was like a smell that emanated from him, and it

1269
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 6: was it was very strong in the morning, and it

1270
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 6: was like it was almost like his he had a scent.

1271
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 6: Like sometimes your pheromones don't match, you know what I mean.

1272
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 3: That's a thing absolutely.

1273
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1274
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:24,440
Speaker 6: Well it's a little late to find out for her

1275
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:25,879
Speaker 6: because it's been seventeen years.

1276
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:27,319
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's a pheromones thing.

1277
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 6: I mean. Also, get in the clothes, spin and close

1278
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 6: your nose with it so that you do not have

1279
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 6: to breathe in his malodorous scent.

1280
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:36,800
Speaker 2: Get one of those necklaces for essential oils.

1281
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:37,240
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1282
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:38,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna have to start experiing.

1283
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:40,359
Speaker 6: But you need to go to a doctor and talk

1284
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:41,799
Speaker 6: to somebody openly about him.

1285
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 1: I don't care if he's sensitive. He needs to get

1286
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 1: over that.

1287
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:44,719
Speaker 3: Get it sorted out.

1288
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 1: It's your wife.

1289
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, okay, Well on that note, good luck, Okay,

1290
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 6: good luck.

1291
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:51,719
Speaker 1: Problem solved. Celeste.

1292
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:54,399
Speaker 6: Thank you for being here. You guys, she's a very

1293
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 6: successful comedian author. You've written a book. Webside of the

1294
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:57,879
Speaker 6: name of your book.

1295
00:52:58,000 --> 00:52:58,720
Speaker 3: Challenge accepted.

1296
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 6: Challenge accepted, and you can also please look into her

1297
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:07,520
Speaker 6: beauty brand spelled b o o i e bouie beauty.

1298
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 2: Is it booe beauty dot com.

1299
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 3: It's booye dot com boo booeye.

1300
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 6: Dot com, not to be confused with the other kind

1301
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:14,960
Speaker 6: of booie booe.

1302
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 1: Thank you, Celeste, Thanks for having me. I always love

1303
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:17,799
Speaker 1: to see you.

1304
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 3: I love to see you. Do Do Do Do Do Do.

1305
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:26,520
Speaker 6: Drum roll Catherine, please, Chelsea Handler abroad.

1306
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:28,680
Speaker 1: Abroad is my European tour.

1307
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:33,799
Speaker 6: So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I

1308
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:36,840
Speaker 6: need to get the help out of this fucking country

1309
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 6: and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm

1310
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:43,920
Speaker 6: coming to Rekuvic, I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to

1311
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 6: the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.

1312
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:49,520
Speaker 1: In May and June.

1313
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:54,760
Speaker 6: I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,

1314
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,280
Speaker 6: New Zurich, Vienna.

1315
00:53:57,520 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 1: I've never ever.

1316
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 6: Been to Vienna, for in Barcelona and Lisbon. I'm coming

1317
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:05,920
Speaker 6: abroad is abroad.

1318
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:06,480
Speaker 3: That sounds like fun.

1319
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go see you abroad.

1320
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:08,680
Speaker 9: I w out.

1321
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 5: I want to go see me abroad and there all

1322
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Speaker 5: be there all be Upcoming Vegas dates March twenty first,

1323
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Speaker 5: April eighteenth, July fifth, August thirtieth, November one.

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Speaker 6: And twenty ninth at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

1325
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:25,240
Speaker 7: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1326
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 7: at Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com and be

1327
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 7: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1328
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:34,840
Speaker 7: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and

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00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:37,319
Speaker 7: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

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Speaker 7: com