1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,040 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 1: advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,480 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this 6 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: one right here, right now. Buckle up and hold on tight. 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is a Strawberry 8 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 1: Letter subject. I'm ready for a family, but she's not. 9 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm twenty seven years old and I 10 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: have my degree in business management with aspirations of owning 11 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,160 Speaker 1: a business one day, and I'm on the right path 12 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 1: to fulfill my goals. I've been dating a woman for 13 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: a few months and she was everything I asked God for. 14 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: She's a go getter with a lot of ambition and 15 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 1: a backbone. She's not a pushover by any means, and 16 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: she has a foul mouth when I make her mad. 17 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: We met in college and I pledged Omega Steve. After 18 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:04,320 Speaker 1: we've been for a few months, after I crossed over, 19 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: women came from everywhere trying to get at me, and 20 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 1: I messed up and cheated on my girlfriend. She broke 21 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:16,119 Speaker 1: up with me and kept it moving. I begged and begged, 22 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: but she was done. Five years passed and I was 23 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,400 Speaker 1: still crazy about her, so I called her to see 24 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 1: how she was doing. It was a great call and 25 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 1: she was single, so I asked her out. She told 26 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: me that I must be intentional with her because she 27 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: only dates to work towards marriage. I was honest and 28 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: told her that I wasn't ready to get married just yet, 29 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: but I swore to her that she is my future wife. 30 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,919 Speaker 1: We made a mistake and she got pregnant five months later. 31 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: Then she started pressuring me to get married. I was 32 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 1: honest again and told her I wasn't financially ready for marriage, 33 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: but I promised to give her the wedding of her 34 00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 1: dream soon. She said she needed some time alone, and 35 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 1: I gave her a few days. We went to dinner 36 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 1: a week later and she told me she had terminated 37 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 1: her pregnancy, and then she broke up with me. I 38 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: was upset that she made this decision about the baby 39 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 1: without me, but I want her back in my life. 40 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: Where did I go wrong this time? How do I 41 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: get her back for good? WHOA this is a lot, 42 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 1: a whole lot in this letter from beginning to end. 43 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: And you guys are so young to have gone through 44 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 1: all of this. I mean, the one thing that you 45 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,640 Speaker 1: have going for you is that you have been honest 46 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: all along the way. You told her you weren't ready 47 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: for marriage, you told her you weren't financially ready for marriage. 48 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 1: All of that, you've been honest. She, on the other hand, 49 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: is a bit of a hothead and seems to jump 50 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: the gun and act very impulsively. If there wasn't a 51 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: baby involved, I'd probably say she's a woman who has 52 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 1: no time for games. And I agree with you. She 53 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: is not a pushover. She knows what she wants. Um. 54 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 1: And you said you want her. This is what you said. 55 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,799 Speaker 1: After what she did, you still want her. That is major, 56 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: But you still want her, so UM, I say, see 57 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,799 Speaker 1: if she still wants you, then talk to her, see 58 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: where her head is. If you guys have matured enough, 59 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: you know, and have gone through enough to make it 60 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: this time, maybe you guys can get it together. If 61 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: you can both get past this. She seems to have 62 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: gotten past it. If you can get past it, um, 63 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: you know, you guys got to be honest about your 64 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: feelings and see if there is a future for you too. 65 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: But but that was crazy. We'll see what happens, Steve, 66 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: We'll see what happened. Yeah, when they talk, they already talk. 67 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: They had dinner. Shit. A week later, they've talked. I 68 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: see a lot wrong in this last but she wants 69 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: her though. They need to talk some more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 70 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: that's what I'm gonna get to that late on the 71 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: second half. But the subject says I'm ready for a family, 72 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: but she's not. Bro. The only problem with this, bro 73 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: is you. You didn't really say in the letter nowhere 74 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: how much you've always wanted children and all that. I 75 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 1: didn't hear that in the letter. So the subject of 76 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,679 Speaker 1: I'm ready for a family but she's not, it's throwing 77 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: me a little bit because let me let me show 78 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: you what happened now, dog team, So here we go. Now, 79 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: you're twenty seven, you got a degree in business management 80 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: with ASPI, raising your own a business, and you're on 81 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: a path to fulfill your dream. See, you got it 82 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: all worked out. I like this about your boy. You 83 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,840 Speaker 1: got your degree business management, you want to own a business, 84 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 1: on the right path for fill your dream. Been dating 85 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: the woman for a few months. She was everything I 86 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: asked God for. See, this is men for you. Here 87 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: we go we we we we God give us just 88 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:07,919 Speaker 1: what we asked for, and then hear what we do. 89 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: She got, She got a lot of ambition, backbones. She 90 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: ain't gonna push over. She got a fire out when 91 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:18,280 Speaker 1: I'm making man. We met in college. I pledge Omega, 92 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: which happens to be the greatest fraternity ever created, a 93 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 1: known to mankind. Clear your throat all you want. You 94 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:34,839 Speaker 1: already know, excuse me, had it on your mind, but 95 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,600 Speaker 1: you realize the cost. You knew what it was, You 96 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: knew what yes, you did, you knew what it was. 97 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: You were scared of me that I was gonna do 98 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: his ass. This is not a fraternity conversation, but just 99 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: for a minute, you know, don't clear your throat when 100 00:05:52,920 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: I say Omega. So anyway, uh, after he crossed, women 101 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: came Dayton from everywhere trying to get at you. I'm 102 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: messed up and cheated on my girlfriend. You know, I 103 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,039 Speaker 1: felt like this letter was about me and here, but 104 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:15,160 Speaker 1: then I had to remember he said he graduated with him. Anyway, 105 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 1: you you know, I just realized then that took a 106 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 1: turn that I didn't quite qualify for after three years 107 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: of collegue. I had eighteen credits three years. So when 108 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,359 Speaker 1: I come back, I'll tell you what you did, Rome bro, 109 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,839 Speaker 1: and what's what's really happened, because there's a mistake you 110 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: made in here. Are very serious. Okay. We'll have part 111 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: two of Steve's response coming up at twenty three minutes 112 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: after the hour of the subject of today's letter is 113 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: I'm ready for a family, but she's not. We'll be 114 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 1: back right after this. You're listening show, all right, Come on, Steve, 115 00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: Let's recap today's strawberry letter. Subject I'm ready for a family, 116 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,919 Speaker 1: but she's not. This young frat brother man twenty seven 117 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 1: years old, got his degree and everything aspiration on the 118 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 1: business on path, got his goals and everything. You know, 119 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: been dating this woman for a few months. She was 120 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 1: everything you ask guy for. Go get her ambition, backbone, 121 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: ain't no push over all that we met in college 122 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: when he pleded sci Fi after we had been dating 123 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: for a few months, and then you crossed. Women came 124 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: out of everywhere. You know, I know that you know 125 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, came out everywhere, you know, just on 126 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: you know, on us, you know, old us you know huge. 127 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying back back I say back 128 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,360 Speaker 1: about you. I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm gonna 129 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 1: be honest with you. I've never beat a woman off 130 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: in my life ever. Please me. Yeah, I was so 131 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: thirsty for somebody to want me, Please want me. Thank 132 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: you Jesus. All right. Anyway, you messed up, you and 133 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: you cheated on your girlfriend. She broke up with you. 134 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 1: She kept moving you beg she was dumb. Now five 135 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: years went back. He was still crazy about it. So 136 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 1: it call and see how she was doing. One day, 137 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 1: had a great car. Found out she was single, so 138 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: bro asked her out. She told me that I must 139 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 1: be intentional with her because she only dates to work 140 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: towards marriage. Excellent move on this young lady's part. Excellent 141 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 1: move that set the tone. Come to me with intentions. 142 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: If you want to play games, I ain't got time place. Okay, 143 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 1: she did just that. I was honest, told her I 144 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,719 Speaker 1: wasn't ready to get married just yet. See brother, now 145 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,079 Speaker 1: you just saying now you ain't ready to get married 146 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: just yet, but you sware to her she was your 147 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:54,440 Speaker 1: future wife. So not dog. What you did was you 148 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: led her own you gave her a little bit of hope. 149 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: You dangle and carried out there that you will be 150 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: my future wife, but not now. So in other words, 151 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:07,559 Speaker 1: you were honest, but you also knew what you was doing. 152 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 1: I ain't ready now, but I don't want you to leave. 153 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 1: Let me get my stuff together, and I understand financially 154 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: how you feel about that, so I appreciate your honesty. 155 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: Now here where to let it take a turn. We 156 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 1: made a mistake and she got pregnant. What y'all grown, 157 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: y'all know when you have sex, what sex produces. What 158 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:33,600 Speaker 1: you mean, she got pregnant? Unprotected sex. Unprotected sex had 159 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: to happen. You open yourself up for mistakes like that. Team. 160 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,360 Speaker 1: I know you know this, so I ain't telling you now, 161 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: but that's water over the damn. Then she started pressuring 162 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: you to getting married. That's what she said she wanted, 163 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,240 Speaker 1: but you said you wasn't ready. But then you got 164 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 1: the girl pregnant, so she started pressing you to getting married. 165 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: I was honest again, and totally you wasn't financially ready 166 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 1: for married, but I promised to give her to wear 167 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 1: in her dreams. Soon she said that she needed some 168 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 1: time alone and so you gave her a few days. Okay, 169 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: this was a letter takes a turn. We went to 170 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,199 Speaker 1: dinner a week later, she told me she had terminated 171 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: her pregnancy, and then she broke up with me. Now 172 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 1: let's focus on this for a second, because here's what 173 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: could have happened. See, her intent was to always want 174 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:24,679 Speaker 1: to be married. You told her that you promised her 175 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,960 Speaker 1: you her future wife. So this woman figured, if I'm pregnant, 176 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 1: how much more do I have to do to be 177 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,439 Speaker 1: of wifey's status. I'm pregnant with your child. You said, 178 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 1: I still ain't ready for marriage, which you were being 179 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: honest then, But she was also being honest with her intentions. 180 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 1: So now she terminated the pregnancy. You said, I was 181 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,760 Speaker 1: upset that she made the decision about the baby without me. 182 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: Hold out, partner, Hold up, you're making decisions without her 183 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: about the time and of when you want to marriag 184 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 1: her when you won't allow her life to move on. Now, 185 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: she'd have made a decision without you. See this is 186 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: how the game go, young team. Now, I'm also gonna 187 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:15,480 Speaker 1: throw you officient net. This mistake y'all made. It seems 188 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 1: to me like she made the mistakes and had the 189 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 1: hope that after the mistake was made, that it could 190 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:28,440 Speaker 1: lead to the marriage she intentionally wanted from you from 191 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 1: the get goal. When you said I'm still not gonna 192 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 1: get married, she said, we're ending this right here. I'm 193 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 1: not going to walk around him and be no single 194 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: mother when what I want is this man to marry me. 195 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:45,200 Speaker 1: So could it be that that mistake was then used 196 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: as an intentional carriage to get you to marry her. 197 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:52,559 Speaker 1: When you said now, she said, we're done. See, so 198 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: you have to think it out, think about that with him. 199 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 1: I was upset she made decision about the babe with me. 200 00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 1: But I want to back in my life. Where did 201 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 1: I go wrong? It's time? How can I get her 202 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,440 Speaker 1: back for good? You ain't got one way to get 203 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:07,679 Speaker 1: this woman back. You have to go to her to propose, 204 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,839 Speaker 1: and you have to say. I can't lose two great 205 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,960 Speaker 1: things in my life. We've lost a child and now 206 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna lose you again for the second time, and 207 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 1: I can't see myself without it. So I love you. 208 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 1: Let's get engaged. Let's work towards this marriage. Please. I 209 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 1: don't ever want you to go again. That's your only shot. 210 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 1: That was beautiful, Thank you so much. Coming up next, 211 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,320 Speaker 1: our girl from The Talk, Cheryl Underwood at forty six 212 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: minutes after. Right after this, you're listening to