WEBVTT - Love Drought

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio

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<v Speaker 1>and the Black Effects. Oh Ship We wanna Air? Welcome

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<v Speaker 1>back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl

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<v Speaker 1>just hilarious or should I say Dr Jess fixed my mess? Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>y'all know I always play like that. I swear I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna get a PhD in doing this ship because I

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<v Speaker 1>love helping people. All Right, We're gonna jump straight in.

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<v Speaker 1>This person will remain nameless, and I'm going to be

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<v Speaker 1>reading again. You guys feel free to send in voice

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<v Speaker 1>notes and voice memos if you don't want to type,

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<v Speaker 1>if it's too long, or if you feel like I

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<v Speaker 1>won't read it right or read it how you would

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<v Speaker 1>say it. And if you don't use punctuation marks and

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<v Speaker 1>ship and you try to sending me long run on sentences,

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<v Speaker 1>please send your voice notes please. They're much needed and

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<v Speaker 1>they're much appreciated. All Right, First, Hey, just me and

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<v Speaker 1>my boyfriend have been together for one year. We lived

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<v Speaker 1>four hours away from each other and see each other

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<v Speaker 1>probably four to eight days out of the month. I

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<v Speaker 1>just turned twenty nine and he's about to turn twenty six.

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<v Speaker 1>I fully trust him. People think I'm not even when

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<v Speaker 1>I say that, but I've never been insecure, and he

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<v Speaker 1>hasn't given me a reason to be insecure. Recently, he's

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<v Speaker 1>been making jokes about how I don't want to have

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<v Speaker 1>sex as often as him, and I ended up telling

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<v Speaker 1>him my sex drive was low and I just don't

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<v Speaker 1>know why I'm attracted to him. And the sex is good,

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<v Speaker 1>but I just don't care to do it that often.

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<v Speaker 1>A week after he came from visiting me, he posted

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<v Speaker 1>on his I G Close Friends story that baby, we've

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<v Speaker 1>grown all that not tonight ship will get you replaced.

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<v Speaker 1>I confronted him about it, and he said it was

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<v Speaker 1>just a funny repost and then gave me a dry

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<v Speaker 1>ass sorry. I went back and looked at his story

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<v Speaker 1>and he had removed me from his close friends. I

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<v Speaker 1>do not feel like he sorry at all. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like he was only sorry because I saw it. The

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<v Speaker 1>last time you visited me, we had sex three times

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<v Speaker 1>out of the five days he stayed with me. That's

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<v Speaker 1>enough for me, but clearly he has a problem. Instead

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<v Speaker 1>of talking to me about it, he's making jokes and

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<v Speaker 1>posting memes. I don't like him being insensitive and insinuating

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<v Speaker 1>that I could be replaced. I told him this, and

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<v Speaker 1>he's being dismissive, and I really don't like that he

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<v Speaker 1>removed me from his close friends. What would you do

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<v Speaker 1>in this situation? First of all, let's just start here.

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<v Speaker 1>He is acting his age. He's twenty five, you are

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<v Speaker 1>on your way to thirty. I know you've heard this,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm gonna just say it again for your benefit

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<v Speaker 1>and so you know that it's very real and it's

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<v Speaker 1>not just the myth. Women do mature faster than ment

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<v Speaker 1>We know what we want faster than they do. We

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<v Speaker 1>know how to make decisions and to be more responsible

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<v Speaker 1>and how to be less reckless when we're dealing with

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<v Speaker 1>other people's feelings that we love and that we care about.

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<v Speaker 1>When we're in relationships, it's not just about us anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>We can't be as selfish. I do think that, um,

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<v Speaker 1>he's being selfish with his actions in this particular situation.

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<v Speaker 1>You're about to be thirty, he's about to be twenty six,

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<v Speaker 1>so he's really mentally twenty three still, and you are

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<v Speaker 1>mentally thirty three right now. No, he should not be

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<v Speaker 1>making jokes about it, using means about it, especially if

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<v Speaker 1>it's something that bothers you if it's something that didn't

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<v Speaker 1>bother you, I wouldn't see a problem with it. But

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<v Speaker 1>since you voiced how it makes you feel, which is

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<v Speaker 1>not good, and it bothers you, I think that he

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<v Speaker 1>should have taken heed to that. I mean, because you

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<v Speaker 1>obviously disagree with it. So if you're my boyfriend, UM,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't care how many hours away we live from

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<v Speaker 1>each other and and whatever. If we're in a relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>we are committed to one another. No, we don't need

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<v Speaker 1>to be married for us to be committed. We are

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<v Speaker 1>in a relationship. We're a boyfriend a girlfriend, and we

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<v Speaker 1>are in a committed relationship. It's a bond that we have.

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<v Speaker 1>And I feel like instead of talking to me, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>you're going and you're involving everyone else. You're close friends,

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<v Speaker 1>whether it's all your followers or only fans, are only

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<v Speaker 1>fucking too close friends, it's still not me. You need

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<v Speaker 1>to communicate this with me. I do find that to

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<v Speaker 1>be a problem in your relationship. Now you've already told

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<v Speaker 1>him this and he keeps on doing it, and then

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<v Speaker 1>for him to remove you, that is a sign of dishonesty.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a sign of dishonesty, and Um, I wouldn't go

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<v Speaker 1>as far as to say it's toxic. However, it seems

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<v Speaker 1>as if it's taking a turn for the worst, and

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<v Speaker 1>this could be the beginning of a downhill because it

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<v Speaker 1>shows you that he's hiding something, not another girl, not

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<v Speaker 1>you know, but he's going to continue to make these

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<v Speaker 1>jokes and these memes and you know it relates to you,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know he is talking about you. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>females do that all the time. Males are doing it

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<v Speaker 1>as well, but it's a female thing to do to

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<v Speaker 1>go online and post all your damn business instead of

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<v Speaker 1>talking to the person that's involved in the business that

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<v Speaker 1>you're posting about. I mean, I just don't see why

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<v Speaker 1>he's still doing it after you told him, you voiced it,

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<v Speaker 1>you made it verbal. That would be a problem if

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't, because a lot of times women we like

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<v Speaker 1>to just assume that men know what we're thinking. No, girl, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying that they're dumb as a box of bricks,

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<v Speaker 1>but they ain't smarter than a fifth grader either, so

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<v Speaker 1>you get what I'm saying. Now for you, you said

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<v Speaker 1>your sex drive is very low and you don't know

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<v Speaker 1>why are you curious enough to see why would you

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<v Speaker 1>like to see why or are you okay with having

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<v Speaker 1>a low sex drive? It could be something that you're

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<v Speaker 1>okay with. I'm going to also tell you this, in

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<v Speaker 1>a relationship, there has to be compromised. He is younger,

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<v Speaker 1>so yes, the sex drive is higher than yours. But

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<v Speaker 1>you're not even old. You're twenty nine, you're thirty. In

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<v Speaker 1>my relationship currently, I'm in a relationship with a forty

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<v Speaker 1>year old. I'm thirty. My sex drive is highs Hell,

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<v Speaker 1>his was low in the beginning, and then he caught

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<v Speaker 1>up to mine. That was compromised on his end, and

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<v Speaker 1>I think that there's fixing here. Um, he just needs

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<v Speaker 1>to grow up a little bit or a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>bit and realize everything is not for the internet. Everything

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<v Speaker 1>is not as you can see. We see relationships fail

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<v Speaker 1>all the time due to the Internet, due to posting

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<v Speaker 1>and just needing validation from others. As it relates to

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<v Speaker 1>your personal life. You don't need to be validated by

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<v Speaker 1>your followers or your close friends. Something so close to you,

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<v Speaker 1>something so personal, which is your fucking relationship. I think

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<v Speaker 1>there needs to be another conversation. And um, the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that you guys lived four hours away and you guys

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<v Speaker 1>see each other four to eight days out of the month,

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<v Speaker 1>and you says you do trust him. That is a

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<v Speaker 1>little strenuous, especially for a guy as young as he is.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to say in his defense, he's trying to

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<v Speaker 1>hunch and much all he can. He only gets to

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<v Speaker 1>see you a week out of a month, so he

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<v Speaker 1>wants to hunch every day all day that he gets

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<v Speaker 1>to see you. And I do understand that. However, the

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<v Speaker 1>online thing is the only thing that I do have

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<v Speaker 1>a problem with. But as far as you just for

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<v Speaker 1>the sake of sacrifice and compromise, Um, if you want

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<v Speaker 1>your relationship, I would go get checked out and see why,

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<v Speaker 1>exactly why your sex drive is low. I would try

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<v Speaker 1>to do things to prevent dryness. I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>it's that your box is dry and you don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, or you may just not have a desire

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<v Speaker 1>to have sex all the time. If that's what it is,

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<v Speaker 1>that's just what it is, and he has to understand

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<v Speaker 1>that or you guys aren't gonna work. You know, we

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<v Speaker 1>can already see how it's turning out now, and you

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<v Speaker 1>guys only been together for a year. So um, if

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<v Speaker 1>it's something that you really want. Yes, baby girl, I

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<v Speaker 1>would say, keep communicating that, keep communicating it, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and be serious and stand firm, you know, not disrespectful,

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<v Speaker 1>but staying firm, because he may not take you serious.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you saying it? What is your addiction? What

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<v Speaker 1>is your tone own? Where are you coming from? What

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<v Speaker 1>is your demeanor when you're talking to him? And speaking

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<v Speaker 1>to him? You know? And then removing you from close

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<v Speaker 1>friends is kind of iffy. But I'm just gonna let

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<v Speaker 1>you know. I would not want to be and my

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<v Speaker 1>boyfriend's close friends. Okay, I don't even follow my boyfriend.

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<v Speaker 1>Should my boyfriend on even follow me? I think that's best,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, because then I would be reluctant to stay

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<v Speaker 1>up under them comments like who who look? Who looking?

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<v Speaker 1>And who liking? And who comment? You know, but check

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<v Speaker 1>back in with me, check back in with me? Hold up,

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<v Speaker 1>hold up, I know the ship getting good, but listen

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<v Speaker 1>to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If

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<v Speaker 1>you love me, you'll listen all right. Next, Hey Jess,

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<v Speaker 1>please fix my mess. I would have done a voicemail,

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<v Speaker 1>but my husband is sitting right here. Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyway, I'm writing because I think that I am

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<v Speaker 1>at my breaking point with my stepson. My husband and

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<v Speaker 1>I have been married for five years and together for six. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>we move fast l O l any who. My stepson

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<v Speaker 1>has always been a problem child since the day I

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<v Speaker 1>met him, from his misbehaving at school to just saying

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<v Speaker 1>disrespectful things. His mom is even worse. She is a

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<v Speaker 1>ghetto bird and never have I ever had to deal

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<v Speaker 1>with the baby mama until I met my husband. A

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<v Speaker 1>lot of his issues I feel come from here. She

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<v Speaker 1>belittles him and calls him names and is always putting

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<v Speaker 1>him down. My husband's time has been reduced to weekends

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<v Speaker 1>because she is always on some bullshit and drama. There

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<v Speaker 1>was a time when I wanted my husband to go

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<v Speaker 1>for full custody, but over the years I find it

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<v Speaker 1>that I rarely want him around. He doesn't care about school.

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<v Speaker 1>He has an I e. P. And I think that

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<v Speaker 1>contributes to it, and he takes no interest in learning.

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<v Speaker 1>He curses, and it's always creating some type of drama

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<v Speaker 1>with my son, who was a few years younger than him.

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<v Speaker 1>His mom and his grandmother is always comparing him to

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<v Speaker 1>my son and saying what my husband does for him,

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<v Speaker 1>So I feel they created some type of jealousy streak

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<v Speaker 1>and envy in him against my son. He fights his mom.

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<v Speaker 1>Just the other day, he pushed me, oh shout. I

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<v Speaker 1>really was about to knock a little kid out, but

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<v Speaker 1>his dad ran in. I wouldn't really hit him, but

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<v Speaker 1>he was going to know not to disrespect me like that.

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<v Speaker 1>He has punched a girl in the stomach and fought

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<v Speaker 1>another boy so far this school year. I'm sorry to say,

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<v Speaker 1>but I don't think I want him around my other children.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been trying to help my husband with him all

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<v Speaker 1>these years, and I'm now tired of it. I'm seriously

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<v Speaker 1>considering leaving my husband over this because I don't feel

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<v Speaker 1>I'm obligated to deal with his disrespect and abuse to

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<v Speaker 1>me or my other children. His dad is always making

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<v Speaker 1>excuses for him as well. I don't want my husband

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<v Speaker 1>to have to choose between us and his other child,

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<v Speaker 1>which should I do? And I do want to remain anonymous. Okay, baby,

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<v Speaker 1>you have just said that twice, and I understand your

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<v Speaker 1>husband is sitting right next to you. Girl. You better

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<v Speaker 1>hope he don't glance over and be like, who are

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<v Speaker 1>you writing a goddamn essay to and hope that he

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<v Speaker 1>don't snatch the phone and see that you're writing some

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<v Speaker 1>shing about him and his son. All right, now, let

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<v Speaker 1>me help you. For most of all, I do sincerely

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<v Speaker 1>apologize that you are going through this. Children are not

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<v Speaker 1>the easiest to deal with, No, they're not. Have you

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<v Speaker 1>tried to sit down and talk to the child, not

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<v Speaker 1>even with his father around? Obviously he is far gone.

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<v Speaker 1>You haven't told me his exact age, but you did

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<v Speaker 1>say that he has no desire in learning, he curses

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<v Speaker 1>and all that. So I'm guessing that he's a teenager.

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<v Speaker 1>If I'm wrong, please come back with an update and

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<v Speaker 1>correct me. But I'm just gonna go with him being

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<v Speaker 1>a teenager for now. And your child, your other son

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<v Speaker 1>is a few years younger. I think for the safety

0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:39.600
<v Speaker 1>and the sake of you know, your sanity, it deserves

0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:43.280
<v Speaker 1>a lot more communication with the boy. There are so

0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:45.520
<v Speaker 1>many different ways that you can go if you don't

0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:47.120
<v Speaker 1>want to talk to him, if you feel like you

0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.320
<v Speaker 1>can't get through to him. Now, you did tell me

0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:52.040
<v Speaker 1>that there was a lot of baby mama drama. Now

0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:54.560
<v Speaker 1>is that with you or is that just with the child?

0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:59.040
<v Speaker 1>Is that just between your husband and his son's mother, Like,

0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:02.040
<v Speaker 1>what what is that? Because if she's never given you

0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.920
<v Speaker 1>a problem directly where she doesn't like you or anything

0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:06.680
<v Speaker 1>like that, I think that you should actually have a

0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.480
<v Speaker 1>conversation with her and you would not be overstepping your

0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:13.480
<v Speaker 1>boundaries because you are the father of her child's wife

0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:18.240
<v Speaker 1>like you are her ex's wife. You guys live in

0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:21.480
<v Speaker 1>the same home together, you guys have a household, and

0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:26.080
<v Speaker 1>now you have a conjoint family. Your stepson is her son.

0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:30.440
<v Speaker 1>So while I do understand your frustration and you're even

0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:33.880
<v Speaker 1>thinking about leaving your husband, like you're really contemplating a

0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:39.120
<v Speaker 1>divorce over this child, I think before you do that

0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:42.320
<v Speaker 1>there needs to be other actions taking you are completely

0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:44.200
<v Speaker 1>happy with your husband, I canna tell this is just

0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:48.080
<v Speaker 1>the only thing in your way. And then how far

0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:52.199
<v Speaker 1>into the teenage phase is he? Is he sixteen? Is

0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.040
<v Speaker 1>he's seventeen? If so, you only got a few more

0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:57.040
<v Speaker 1>years to go to stick it out. I'm not one

0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:02.080
<v Speaker 1>two enforce being the ruble in any way, but I

0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.640
<v Speaker 1>think that's a conversation for you and your husband as well.

0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:07.640
<v Speaker 1>Like listen, sit him down and talk to him, talk

0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:10.480
<v Speaker 1>to him, just like you talk to me. Look, it's

0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:13.520
<v Speaker 1>been a lot. This has been a journey with this kid,

0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:15.400
<v Speaker 1>with with your son, and while I love him like

0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:18.680
<v Speaker 1>he is mine, this is bringing me to my my

0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:20.800
<v Speaker 1>breaking point his behavior, And I don't want you to

0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:24.640
<v Speaker 1>have to choose, but I am thinking, like seriously have

0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:28.000
<v Speaker 1>been contemplating leaving you. You know. I think that that

0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:31.240
<v Speaker 1>needs to be something that you really take more time

0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:34.120
<v Speaker 1>to think about, and that you should bring it up

0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:37.120
<v Speaker 1>to your husband so he can really really put into

0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:40.240
<v Speaker 1>perspective all that is at stake right now. It's not

0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:42.960
<v Speaker 1>just about him anymore. It's about he and his wife

0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:45.480
<v Speaker 1>and his other children that he now has. It's not

0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:48.840
<v Speaker 1>just about his oldest baby anymore. He has to share

0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:54.280
<v Speaker 1>his dad, and he has to share his household, the

0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:57.880
<v Speaker 1>one that he lives in with the dad. And then

0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:01.440
<v Speaker 1>also I want to point out something that you said

0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:05.920
<v Speaker 1>to me, that his visitation was reduced to weekends because

0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:08.280
<v Speaker 1>the mom just be on some bullshit and all of that.

0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:13.080
<v Speaker 1>Is it really that bad his behavior bothers you that

0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:15.560
<v Speaker 1>bad that you can't deal with it two days out

0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:18.440
<v Speaker 1>of the week. Um, it must be horrible. I'm not

0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:21.040
<v Speaker 1>trying to discredit what you're telling me. I'm not trying

0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.880
<v Speaker 1>to downplay were you're telling me. I'm just asking. I'm

0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:27.920
<v Speaker 1>just trying to get a full understanding just how bad

0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:30.560
<v Speaker 1>his behavior is if you can't deal with it on

0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:33.080
<v Speaker 1>the weekends because he's not with you during the week

0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:36.600
<v Speaker 1>so god damn. Really, Yeah, that's the conversation that you

0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:38.560
<v Speaker 1>just have to have with your husband. It starts with

0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:41.320
<v Speaker 1>you and your husband first, and then it continues with

0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:45.840
<v Speaker 1>you in the sun, and then if there aren't any issues,

0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:47.640
<v Speaker 1>or if you feel like you can talk to her,

0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:50.240
<v Speaker 1>the mother, that is that I would have a conversation

0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:54.000
<v Speaker 1>with his mother. You said she belittles him and all

0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:55.960
<v Speaker 1>of that. I'm not sure if you were talking about

0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:59.800
<v Speaker 1>the son or your husband that she belittles and she disrespects,

0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:02.360
<v Speaker 1>and you talked shipped too. If it's the sun, that's

0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:07.000
<v Speaker 1>exactly where it comes from. That's exactly where it comes from.

0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:09.040
<v Speaker 1>If she belittle as the sun, or if she talks

0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:12.760
<v Speaker 1>ship to the sun, or you know, she may be

0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:16.240
<v Speaker 1>the reason for a lot of his behavioral issues. You know,

0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:17.880
<v Speaker 1>I used to work with kids, and a lot of

0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:20.840
<v Speaker 1>that ship starts at home. Sometimes it does not, but

0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:23.000
<v Speaker 1>a lot of times it does, and a lot of

0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:26.840
<v Speaker 1>times it's rooted from childhood. So if the mom has

0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:30.680
<v Speaker 1>always been that way, that's where it's coming from, you know.

0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:33.080
<v Speaker 1>And then the dad making excuses is just him not

0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:36.160
<v Speaker 1>trying to give up on his son. However, he needs

0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:39.280
<v Speaker 1>to take some type of action because, um, we ain't

0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:42.880
<v Speaker 1>doing no disrespect, not in our households. No, no, we're not.

0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:45.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't care if I'm married in to this family.

0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:48.120
<v Speaker 1>I you will respect me as your stepmother. You said

0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:51.080
<v Speaker 1>he pushed you, he has hit he has punched a

0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:53.440
<v Speaker 1>girl in the stomach. Yeah, that's my little motherfucker need

0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.120
<v Speaker 1>a boot camp. I'm sorry about it, but not come

0:15:56.200 --> 0:16:00.160
<v Speaker 1>to tell you. Yes, he needs his asks whipped like

0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:03.480
<v Speaker 1>for real, because I wonder what the husband did before

0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.320
<v Speaker 1>you laid hands on him. When your husband found out

0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:09.080
<v Speaker 1>that his son had pushed you, what the fund did

0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:14.560
<v Speaker 1>he do? Okay, but again rule number one, communicate and

0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:16.760
<v Speaker 1>be honest. Talk to him like you talked to me.

0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:18.560
<v Speaker 1>Don't beat around a damn bush girl. You need to

0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:21.240
<v Speaker 1>let him know because this obviously is affecting you in

0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:24.720
<v Speaker 1>your own home and you are concerned for the safety

0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:28.320
<v Speaker 1>of your other children, you know, and I understand that

0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.920
<v Speaker 1>that is where I would draw the line, and I

0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.800
<v Speaker 1>would have to go, you don't get some help for

0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:36.800
<v Speaker 1>this boy, for this little boy, you know who I

0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:41.240
<v Speaker 1>dearly love as one of my own. We cannot do

0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:44.160
<v Speaker 1>this in this marriage. We cannot co exist in this marriage.

0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.560
<v Speaker 1>This is not right, you know. And he's just gonna

0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:49.480
<v Speaker 1>have to respect that. Um, But keep me posted, keep

0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:53.000
<v Speaker 1>me posted. I hope I helped you. I feel for you.

0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:56.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm very very sorry about that, honey. But let me know.

0:16:57.680 --> 0:16:59.480
<v Speaker 1>And lastly, before we get out of here, I have

0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:02.800
<v Speaker 1>an up date. Okay. So this woman had wrote a

0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:05.439
<v Speaker 1>couple of weeks back and she was saying that she

0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:08.840
<v Speaker 1>was talking to this guy and they for the first

0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:11.320
<v Speaker 1>couple of months they were dating and they were sexually involved,

0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.359
<v Speaker 1>and she had ended up getting pregnant by the guy

0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:17.359
<v Speaker 1>and they both collectively agreed to terminate the baby. And

0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:19.199
<v Speaker 1>then he had gotten too some legal trouble and they

0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:21.240
<v Speaker 1>were still dealing with each other, but he got into

0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:23.600
<v Speaker 1>some legal trouble when he came home and he had

0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:25.040
<v Speaker 1>found out that he had had a baby on the

0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:27.520
<v Speaker 1>way and he had told her about it, and um,

0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:30.080
<v Speaker 1>she just wanted to know what to do because he

0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:33.040
<v Speaker 1>was just strictly gonna co parent with the other girl

0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.639
<v Speaker 1>who had gotten pregnant and actually had the baby, and

0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.119
<v Speaker 1>she was wondering what she should do because he really

0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:39.919
<v Speaker 1>wants to be with her, but he just has a

0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:42.400
<v Speaker 1>baby now and he's not with the other baby mother.

0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:45.760
<v Speaker 1>So here's the update. I'm going to read it. Thank

0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:48.280
<v Speaker 1>you for responding on the show. He wasn't being honest

0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:51.280
<v Speaker 1>at all. He was selling the dream of a relationship

0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:54.960
<v Speaker 1>to his baby mother and another girl who he's entertaining

0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:58.040
<v Speaker 1>in another state. I'm done for good. See how JE

0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:02.159
<v Speaker 1>can fix your goddamn mess? You see dd c D.

0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:04.800
<v Speaker 1>You see I told you, I told you girl it

0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:07.800
<v Speaker 1>could have been And look, let me stop because I

0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:09.359
<v Speaker 1>don't even want to beat I told you type. I

0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:11.479
<v Speaker 1>can't be that type of therapist. I told you, I

0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:13.280
<v Speaker 1>told you not that donna make somebody cut their damn

0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:16.120
<v Speaker 1>reous I'm sorry, no, now, I gave you a bunch

0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:19.280
<v Speaker 1>of different dilemas. I did say that maybe what it

0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:22.639
<v Speaker 1>is he he may be lying about not working with

0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:24.600
<v Speaker 1>this girl at all. He may be lying about just

0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:27.320
<v Speaker 1>wanting to co parent and ship. And I told you,

0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:28.919
<v Speaker 1>I said, look, he might have been working with that

0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:31.280
<v Speaker 1>girl long before you. He could have been working with

0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:32.840
<v Speaker 1>at the same time as you, or could have been

0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:35.800
<v Speaker 1>sucking with it right after you. But the fact still

0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:38.720
<v Speaker 1>remains the same that he got a baby. Y'all terminated.

0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:41.439
<v Speaker 1>Y'alls for the right reasons, Like I said, because you

0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:44.919
<v Speaker 1>guys barely knew each other and you were having unprotected sex,

0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.400
<v Speaker 1>which is not good. It's a recipe for a baby.

0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:50.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna tell you, unless you want birth control, and

0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:52.719
<v Speaker 1>you are not, and you still, even with birth control,

0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:55.240
<v Speaker 1>need to use protection because you don't know these men

0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:58.080
<v Speaker 1>out here and they don't know you got me. So

0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:00.560
<v Speaker 1>you did a very very good job by leaving that

0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:03.920
<v Speaker 1>ass alone. I'm very very happy that you did that,

0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:07.040
<v Speaker 1>because now look, you've then dodged a goddamn bullet, heat

0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:09.440
<v Speaker 1>too time and a baby mama, and he got another

0:19:09.440 --> 0:19:12.000
<v Speaker 1>bitch in another state. You keep on keeping on, girl.

0:19:12.080 --> 0:19:14.560
<v Speaker 1>You are worth it. You are beautiful, and you are

0:19:14.760 --> 0:19:17.600
<v Speaker 1>loved all right, and there will be somebody who will

0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:19.600
<v Speaker 1>love you and give you a baby when the time

0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:21.840
<v Speaker 1>is right, and probably even walk your ways down the

0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:24.400
<v Speaker 1>aisle if that is what you desire. And just like that,

0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:27.480
<v Speaker 1>we've come to yet the end of another carefully reckless

0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:29.679
<v Speaker 1>what's your girl just hilarious. I love you guys so

0:19:29.840 --> 0:19:33.480
<v Speaker 1>very much. Tune into Reckless Discussions tonight. We got London

0:19:33.520 --> 0:19:35.760
<v Speaker 1>back next week, y'all. I know y'all been asking where

0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:38.040
<v Speaker 1>she's been. I didn't kick her off. The girl went

0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:40.360
<v Speaker 1>to Mexico and she had to miss the four episodes

0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.960
<v Speaker 1>because we shoot four episodes in one day, So tune

0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:46.800
<v Speaker 1>in tonight. Reckless Discussions is only on YouTube, and tune

0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:49.560
<v Speaker 1>into Carefully Reckless each and every Wednesday at seven am.

0:19:49.920 --> 0:21:03.399
<v Speaker 1>Peace to clad Love. Carefully Reckless is a production of

0:21:03.480 --> 0:21:06.679
<v Speaker 1>I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts

0:21:06.720 --> 0:21:09.200
<v Speaker 1>from I Heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app,

0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:12.639
<v Speaker 1>Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.