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Speaker 1: We have to examine all the ethics and all the

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Speaker 1: stuff that came our way doesn't actually make sense for

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Speaker 1: the people we serve, because we already know that the

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Speaker 1: mental health industry has historically been white mail driven, and

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Speaker 1: that has been the case. And chances are the ethics

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Speaker 1: that they let us have, our white male focused and

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Speaker 1: thus driven by capitalism and white supremacy, acquires us to

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Speaker 1: do additional work. Come on with this opening prayer, Come on,

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Speaker 1: come on. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast,

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Speaker 1: a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all

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Speaker 1: the small decisions we can make to become the best

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Speaker 1: possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard

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Speaker 1: and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more

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Speaker 1: information or to find a therapist in your area, visit

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Speaker 1: our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While

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Speaker 1: I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast,

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Speaker 1: it is not meant to be a substitute for a

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Speaker 1: relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks

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Speaker 1: so much for joining me for session of the Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black Girls podcast. I sincerely hope that you're doing

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Speaker 1: your very best to take really good care of yourself

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Speaker 1: right now and finding even very small ways to tap

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Speaker 1: into your resilience. This past week has definitely been a

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Speaker 1: rough one, and while I consider sharing another episode about racism,

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Speaker 1: the truth is that I'm feeling pretty exhausted by the

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Speaker 1: continuing brutality we face and felt like I needed a

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Speaker 1: little devity this week, and maybe you do too. Dr

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Speaker 1: Donna orio Wo is back with us to debrief on

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Speaker 1: this week's episode of Insecure. If You're not familiar, Dr

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Speaker 1: Orioo is an author, international speaker, and certified sex and

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Speaker 1: relationship therapist in the Washington, d C. Metro area. The

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Speaker 1: owner of a nod Right, Dr Donna specializes in working

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Speaker 1: with black women on issues related to colorism and texturism

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Speaker 1: and its impact on mental health and sexual health. She's

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Speaker 1: the author of Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease, a self

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Speaker 1: love Journey through hair and skin. She and I chatted

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Speaker 1: about the conditions that had to exist for Issa and

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Speaker 1: Lawrence to be able to have that conversation, how you

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Speaker 1: might know if you need to are already for a

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Speaker 1: conversation like that with someone from your past, our thoughts

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Speaker 1: on whether this was a closure conversation or a brand

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Speaker 1: new start and I produce actions for the rest of

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Speaker 1: the season. Here's our conversation. So I am thankful for

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Speaker 1: you joining me again. I am always grateful and excited

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Speaker 1: to be invited back. I love doing this. Yes, I mean,

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Speaker 1: and I know. We had a conversation even before you know,

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Speaker 1: we started recording, just about how we are feeling in

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Speaker 1: the world. Yeah, it's just it's tough. It's you know,

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Speaker 1: there's so many feelings and funnily enough, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like this is that thing that you get when you

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Speaker 1: have wonderful clients, and I do. They have been asking

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Speaker 1: me back, so we start off every session with the

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Speaker 1: feeling to check in using the feelings chart, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I've just been like, give them all to me

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Speaker 1: and then let's break it down. Let's talk about where

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Speaker 1: it is in the body. But they're just like, but

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Speaker 1: you have to hold all my stuff. And I know

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Speaker 1: I'm not the only person you see, So how are

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Speaker 1: you doing? Genuine questions being asked and I will not

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Speaker 1: dishonor them by not giving them an answer. I know

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Speaker 1: that some people say that it's inappropriate and all that,

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Speaker 1: but I'm just like, nah, if my clients ask I

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Speaker 1: know it's because they actually want to know, and I

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Speaker 1: uh sort of rotary question that you know, you know how,

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Speaker 1: like back in the day when we used to get

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Speaker 1: on elevators with people like small talk exactly for a

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Speaker 1: small talk, And that's something that I try to remove

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Speaker 1: from my clients. On day one, I'm looking like, so

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Speaker 1: when I ask you how you're doing, I don't mean

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Speaker 1: for you to tell me fine, and for you to

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Speaker 1: ask me how I'm doing. I'm looking like, now, I

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Speaker 1: actually care about what you're feeling. So I want the

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Speaker 1: fullness of them. I want the rawness. If it's beautiful,

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Speaker 1: I want to share that with you. If that's ugly,

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Speaker 1: I want to hold that with you, whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: I want to be there with you in this space.

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Speaker 1: So I know that they're asking me legit questions, so

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Speaker 1: I don't use my own feelings turned like, yes, I

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Speaker 1: feel some type of way, I kind of wish a

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Speaker 1: bitch wood I've been in this space, but I'm also

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Speaker 1: very grateful that I get to be there with my

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Speaker 1: clients as we move through this together. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: I think that there is something really powerful about that,

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Speaker 1: right because you know, of course, in our training it's

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Speaker 1: like don't make the therapy about you that kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: But that's not what this is, right, Like, this is

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Speaker 1: a shared space of humanity, especially giving everything happening in

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Speaker 1: the world right now, you know. So I think it

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Speaker 1: is important that when clients ask you, like, how are

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Speaker 1: you doing that, it's okay to to share human to

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Speaker 1: human without it becoming about you. Yeah, because I'm just like, hey,

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Speaker 1: all this, I appreciate your asking me and checking in,

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Speaker 1: but let's look, you know, like, let's get back to you.

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Speaker 1: I will always rebrout it, right, It's definitely not about me.

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Speaker 1: But they're just certain cannons that I've been examining for

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Speaker 1: myself throughout, you know, with where it comes to the

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Speaker 1: ethics of our practices and like that, and in my

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Speaker 1: quest to continue to divest from white supremacy and white nests,

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Speaker 1: myself and the therapist that I hired, this is part

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Speaker 1: of the work that we are doing that I'm just like, Nope,

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Speaker 1: we have to examine all the ethics and all the

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Speaker 1: stuff that came our way doesn't actually make sense for

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Speaker 1: the people we serve. Because we already know that the

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Speaker 1: mental health industry has historically been white, male focused, and

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Speaker 1: if that has been the case, then chances are the

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Speaker 1: ethics that they let us have our white male focused,

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Speaker 1: white male driven and thus driven by capitalism and white

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Speaker 1: supremacy that requires us to do additional work. Come on

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Speaker 1: with this opening prayer, Come on, come on? Yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: I mean, and I don't think it's any like accident,

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Speaker 1: right that in our Facebook groups, right in the black

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Speaker 1: Facebook groups, for they of this that we will often

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Speaker 1: talk about how our practice looks very different, you know,

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Speaker 1: like there are lots of things that we have been

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Speaker 1: taught that we have figured out don't work for us

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Speaker 1: and don't work for the clients that we serve. Exactly. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: so I again am thankful for you joining us. You know,

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Speaker 1: I know we had a little bit of a back

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Speaker 1: and forth like, oh, does it feel okay to do this?

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Speaker 1: Does it feel you know, wrong to like do an

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Speaker 1: insecure recap, but also decided that that happiness and and

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Speaker 1: you know, the the warm hug is how I describe it,

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Speaker 1: that it felt like we got on the Sunday night

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Speaker 1: was something to also be celebrated and to give people

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Speaker 1: a little bit of a reprieve, right that we can

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Speaker 1: continue to focus on the fight. But also have moments

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Speaker 1: where we are being restored in celebrating joy and for

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Speaker 1: black people, joy seeking joy, seeking pleasure, seeking peace. All

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Speaker 1: of these things are revolutionary as well. These are not

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Speaker 1: things that have been afforded to black people. So we

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Speaker 1: do deserve moments where we get to re engage with

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Speaker 1: things that help us to feel good, that make us laugh,

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Speaker 1: that makes us engage in a different way. We can

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Speaker 1: still fight this fight, and we are still fighting this fight,

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Speaker 1: even in the midst of rest even in the midst

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Speaker 1: of seeking pleasure. White people, they got a lot of

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Speaker 1: work to do, and they should go ahead and do

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Speaker 1: that work. But Black people, part of our work is

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Speaker 1: seeking Yes, absolutely, come on, we're gonna have to pass

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Speaker 1: the collective cash app collection plate. Did you send it all?

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Speaker 1: Send it all? For giving us this offering. So this

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Speaker 1: week's episode, first of all, we are just gonna start

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Speaker 1: off by giving Natasha rock Will all of her things

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Speaker 1: because imppable job written was this episode. It was beautifully written.

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Speaker 1: It was beautifully shocked. And then I realized that, oh,

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Speaker 1: I have a pension for seeking drama in these shows,

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Speaker 1: because every time you know, you get a call, I'm

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Speaker 1: wild up and shot up. I just knew she was

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Speaker 1: gonna be outside. At the end of the episode, I

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Speaker 1: just like, also, this is what you're doing. I was.

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Speaker 1: I was just so ready for it, and then it

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Speaker 1: didn't happen, and I breathe this breath that I didn't

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Speaker 1: know I was even holder. Isn't that something? But you know,

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Speaker 1: the rest of the episodes this season, having kind of

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Speaker 1: landed that, right, I mean, especially the last time you

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Speaker 1: joined us with the big blow up with Molly, I mean,

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Speaker 1: it did feel like the collective wind was knocked out

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Speaker 1: of us at that end of the block party. Well. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, oh, okay, so we didn't

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Speaker 1: get to breathe a little bit easier this episode. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I was just like, you know what, I appreciate.

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Speaker 1: That's a good time. And yes, it felt that's what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. It felt just like a warm hug. It

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Speaker 1: felt like a warm hug. Um. So, yeah, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much to Natasha Rockwell. And I'm forgetting the director's theme,

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Speaker 1: but y'all did a beautiful job with this episode. It

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Speaker 1: just was beautiful from beginning to end. So in this episode,

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Speaker 1: it was kind of like this week's long back and

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Speaker 1: forth between East and Lawrence, like he called her and

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Speaker 1: said I want to meet up and it didn't happen,

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Speaker 1: And so finally they are able to get together. And

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Speaker 1: they've been trying this sense since way back, what since

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Speaker 1: before the block party outside and um yeah yes, yeah

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Speaker 1: he want the top back then, but not enough time

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Speaker 1: was busy, right, so what and I'm trying to remember

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Speaker 1: what do you think sparked him to want to have

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Speaker 1: this conversation with each condola so she broke up with

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Speaker 1: him or they are saying like maybe we need to reevaluate,

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Speaker 1: And so that's when he started thinking about, like, oh

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Speaker 1: did I like in this? I think it was low

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Speaker 1: key thankful when she basically was like she didn't cheat it, Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's right. Got him back in a thing or two

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Speaker 1: like do I walk away too soon? Or am I

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Speaker 1: not properly invested? And I was just like I really

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Speaker 1: Number one, I appreciated the question. Not in general, I

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Speaker 1: am so over the saga of Issa and Lawrence. That's

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Speaker 1: just that's just me. I'm just like, please don't get

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Speaker 1: back together. Let this be a one time We've recuperated

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Speaker 1: and now I move on. But like just generally, I

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Speaker 1: was just like I appreciated the question because I often

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Speaker 1: feel there's a double standard when they're cheating, when I

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Speaker 1: expected automatically that if they don't forgive, they're not really

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Speaker 1: a ride or die, They're not really invested in a relationship.

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Speaker 1: And I'm just like, wow, that's the question, the question

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Speaker 1: and really considered do you walk away too soon? Are

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Speaker 1: you not really in dested? Because sometimes I'll be real,

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Speaker 1: I feel like women can get treated like property and

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Speaker 1: the idea of another person having sex with their property

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Speaker 1: is the real issue necessarily that they cheated, more like

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Speaker 1: how did you allow someone else's penis? We inter you?

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Speaker 1: So not so much about like the strength of the

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Speaker 1: relationship or the bond in the relationship, but more about

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Speaker 1: the fact that you stepped out exactly specifically stepping out

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Speaker 1: with a man, he's stepping out with a woman. Then

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Speaker 1: they I feel like often times people start getting that

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Speaker 1: lesbian sex fantasy thing. They feel like it's forgivable if

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Speaker 1: you allow them to join, so then in that case,

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Speaker 1: even your pleasure in that way still becomes about them.

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Speaker 1: But like this, I was just like, Okay, I appreciate

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Speaker 1: the flip of the question and how he has to

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Speaker 1: consider for himself. Did he walk away too? So yes,

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Speaker 1: So I want to talk about the conversation kind of generally,

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Speaker 1: So this kind of feels like what in my mind,

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Speaker 1: especially and you know, for those of you who don't know,

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Speaker 1: my clinical specialty is breakups, and so it kind of

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Speaker 1: reminds me of the conversation that clients often think they

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Speaker 1: are going to have with an X to kind of

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Speaker 1: receive this closure. And so I thought it was really

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Speaker 1: interesting to see it play out on TV in a

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Speaker 1: way that was like so well written and of course

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Speaker 1: you know the our characters. But I think what happened

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Speaker 1: is what most people think is going to happen in

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Speaker 1: these quote unquote closure conversations, and of course real life

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Speaker 1: does not often look the way it looked of course

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Speaker 1: that we saw that Sunday. And on top of that,

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Speaker 1: I would say that they they already started the journey

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Speaker 1: toward closure well before they had the conversation. Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: we need to think about, like, how long has it

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Speaker 1: been since the breakup? At least a year, maybe more.

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Speaker 1: It's been some time, right, And so I think what

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Speaker 1: all the other thing that happens is that people try

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Speaker 1: to have this conversation very soon, right before you are

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Speaker 1: actually even ready to have what I thought was a

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Speaker 1: pretty muture conversation between the two with them, and it

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Speaker 1: was beautifully mature. But I'm just like, I don't want

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Speaker 1: people to get a twist and start thinking that they're

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Speaker 1: going to have these type of conversations that they go

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Speaker 1: back seeking and next I'm like, new you. I feel like,

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Speaker 1: number one, you can't really be going there with an

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Speaker 1: agenda like that. To get closure is to get closure,

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Speaker 1: but most people are not actually seeking closure, that actually

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Speaker 1: seeking another way to get back with a person that ye,

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Speaker 1: and you know what I'm calling in a closure conversation.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, so it's yet to be seen and

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Speaker 1: we'll talk about like our predictions. But I don't know

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Speaker 1: actually what Lawrence was going in for right, Like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if this was him trying to get closure

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Speaker 1: or was this him thinking, Okay, do we have another

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Speaker 1: shot at this. I'm hoping it was closure because I'm

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Speaker 1: looking like, man, you're about to move to San Francisco.

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Speaker 1: That's what I think it's gonna happen to you. That's

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Speaker 1: what I feel like it's gonna happen to see. We

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Speaker 1: get we getting were getting ahead of ourselves. We gotta going.

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Speaker 1: Going back to your comment though, that you hope people

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Speaker 1: don't like think that this is what's gonna happen with

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Speaker 1: an X. Under what circumstances do you think it is

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Speaker 1: appropriate to try to have a conversation like this with

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Speaker 1: an X. I've had this conversation with the X. I'm

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Speaker 1: about to marry him. Well, so how you gonna tell

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Speaker 1: the audience that they can't have this conversation and you're

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Speaker 1: about to marry your company? Because we did it different. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So number one, this is our third time together. Uh huh.

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Speaker 1: The first time we broke up and we tried to

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Speaker 1: get back together and go for it. That second time,

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Speaker 1: we did not have the conversation that we needed to have.

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Speaker 1: There was no closure, there was no healing. We just

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Speaker 1: thought that we could just jump back in to it. Now.

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Speaker 1: Mind you, a whole year had passed between breakup and

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Speaker 1: getting back together and it still didn't work because I

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Speaker 1: wasn't over what happened before. I didn't I hadn't even

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Speaker 1: really conceptualized all the ways I was not over. I

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Speaker 1: jumped in to let me try and be friends because

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Speaker 1: he said, let's be friends. Okay, I'm gonna try to

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Speaker 1: be friends. But I was doing that creepy nonsense that

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Speaker 1: a lot of people do. So I'm calling all of

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Speaker 1: us out where you remain friends with somebody with the

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Speaker 1: hopes that you want to get back together, let me

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Speaker 1: know that you let me let you know right now

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Speaker 1: that is creepy and manipulative and not okay. But a

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Speaker 1: lot of us do it anyway, we really do, right,

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Speaker 1: And so we're gonna hust just pause here because I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling a little triggered, um right, because I do

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Speaker 1: think and I think it is often as women that

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Speaker 1: we are the ones who end up hurt in that situation,

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Speaker 1: right like, so we but heard as Yeah, we just

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Speaker 1: watched him move on while we think that we're supposed

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Speaker 1: to still be friends and maintain a space for them

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Speaker 1: in our lives. So we get, we get but hurt,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just like, no, no, no, no, no, we

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Speaker 1: allowed this, We opened this door. We said we were

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Speaker 1: willing to be friends before we were ready. That's not

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Speaker 1: okay for anybody involved. Yeah, I mean, and even earlier

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Speaker 1: this season with Ethan Lawrence, there were still this awkwardness,

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Speaker 1: right like, especially after she found out that um, he

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Speaker 1: and Condola were dating, right, so there was still this weirdness,

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Speaker 1: and it doesn't feel like until some of these later

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Speaker 1: episodes where they have even been able to get into

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Speaker 1: a place to be able to have this conversation exactly,

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Speaker 1: and I was, I was grateful that they were able

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Speaker 1: to move into that space like she. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: think that having a albeit not really alone, conversation with

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Speaker 1: Condola help. I think that two episodes ago, when you

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Speaker 1: know she was by herself really considering the words of

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Speaker 1: Molly and loving how she uses be well, I think

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Speaker 1: that that was also a time for her to just

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Speaker 1: be so searching in general and trying to learn more

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Speaker 1: about herself. And despite the fact that she got left

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Speaker 1: at that restaurant with that bill, I think that she

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Speaker 1: she's been showing us that she's more than willing to

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Speaker 1: go all in and that this for her is along

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Speaker 1: the lines like I'm going all in with my block party.

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Speaker 1: I'm jumping in with twoth feet and I'm gonna do

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Speaker 1: the work. I'm gonna jump in with tooth feet here

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna do the work. And just you know,

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Speaker 1: just constantly being willing to throw herself in, so throwing

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Speaker 1: herself into this conversation both feet again, I'm just like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm looking at her and I'm impressed with how

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Speaker 1: willing she is to jump in this way. You know.

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Speaker 1: That makes me think about something that I also noticed

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Speaker 1: in this episode was that. And I know even the

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Speaker 1: last time you and I talked, we talked about like

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Speaker 1: the growth that we had kind of seen Issa have,

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Speaker 1: like just in terms of confidence and finally kind of

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Speaker 1: figuring out what she wants to do. And I think

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Speaker 1: it's funny how sometimes when you are with like an

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Speaker 1: X or somebody like who has been removed from your life,

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Speaker 1: maybe for some time it comes back that you can

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Speaker 1: fall into some of those old patterns. Because when they

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Speaker 1: finally got to the restaurant where they ended up eating,

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Speaker 1: there was this like awkwardness about like okay, do I

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Speaker 1: tell them that I've been here before or you know not,

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Speaker 1: And so then Lawrence finally say it's like, okay, let's

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Speaker 1: have a no no tiptoeing policy, no eggshells, and so

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Speaker 1: then it felt like it really allowed her to kind

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Speaker 1: of walk back into this confidence that I feel like

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00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:34,720
Speaker 1: she has been kind of growing to have this season exactly,

337
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,360
Speaker 1: And it was almost like let's get to know each

338
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 1: other and talk about the people we were back then.

339
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Speaker 1: So it's you don't actually know me, know me anymore,

340
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 1: Like my drink has changed and the way I moved

341
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 1: has changed, and both of us are we are not

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Speaker 1: the exact same people that we were back then. So

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Speaker 1: let us start here with getting to know each other

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00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 1: while also resolving back then. And that's what my partner

345
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 1: and I needed to do when we were finally ready

346
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,320
Speaker 1: this third time around to start trying to move forward.

347
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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. And I tell people don't do it because

348
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 1: they're not Most people are not being honest with themselves

349
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Speaker 1: about what it is that they're seeking. They're not honest

350
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Speaker 1: with themselves about their level of healing, about the work

351
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 1: that they've done between and then having the conversations as

352
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:28,159
Speaker 1: raw and real as they need to be. So what

353
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 1: are some questions you think you can ask yourself or like,

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Speaker 1: how would you know if you're ready to try to

355
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Speaker 1: have this kind of conversation? Oh? I like that one.

356
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Speaker 1: So for me, at this point when when my partner

357
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Speaker 1: and I started dating again, or before we even really

358
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 1: started dating again, number one, several years had passed, we're

359
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 1: talking two three, It is somewhere along there. A lot

360
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 1: of years have passed, enough years have passed that number

361
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Speaker 1: one I actually had healed. I was I went to

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Speaker 1: therapy for a while. I did go back to dating

363
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Speaker 1: this one dude because I was like, yeah, I stud

364
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 1: can't hurt my feelings like he can. So but that

365
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 1: was something also that I recognized while I was in therapy.

366
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Speaker 1: But I was dating somebody because they couldn't hurt me

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Speaker 1: as badly as this other person. So being able to

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Speaker 1: call myself in around those things with love, I had

369
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Speaker 1: decided at some point, like I had done all this work,

370
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Speaker 1: I had been single by myself, living my absolute best life.

371
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Speaker 1: And I'm talking about I was going on trips alone,

372
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Speaker 1: going to dinner alone, going to movies alone. I learned

373
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Speaker 1: to really enjoy my own company and fall in love

374
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Speaker 1: with me in such a way that I knew what

375
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 1: I was never gonna take in anybody's relationship. And it

376
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: became so glaringly clear how often I would silence myself

377
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,480
Speaker 1: or shut myself down to be in a and in

378
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 1: something with someone, and I realized that I ain't had

379
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 1: to do that, and that no one was expecting of

380
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,399
Speaker 1: me but me. So once I. Once I started to

381
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 1: really get to know me better, that's when I knew

382
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:11,920
Speaker 1: I was ready to date. I ain't date him, not

383
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,440
Speaker 1: not immediately. I would dating to other people. And I

384
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,919
Speaker 1: was sorting through the type of stuff I like and

385
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 1: I don't like in our partner and in people that

386
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 1: I was dating. I know that I don't like people

387
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,199
Speaker 1: dating me for my skin tone. That was that was

388
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 1: a nice one, and I was like, all right, I

389
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 1: don't like that, Like, oh, you're so chocolate and I'm

390
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 1: so light, and I'm just like, yeah, hill, I feel

391
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 1: like a skin tone and not a person. I recognized

392
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: I didn't like people dating me for my profession. Because

393
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,240
Speaker 1: that turned into me doing free therapy. Um, I learned

394
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,360
Speaker 1: a lot of things about myself more than anything, what

395
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 1: feels right, what doesn't feel right. And then I got

396
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 1: really good, really good at being able to call something

397
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: even before it fully happened, to be able to be

398
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 1: like all right, yeah, that's not gonna work. It's not

399
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 1: gonna work. It's not gonna work. And sometimes I would

400
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 1: go forward with it anyway, just see if it didn't work.

401
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: It just like, let me try, let me try. And

402
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: with this person I had got into thinking about them

403
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 1: again in a more real way and how you know,

404
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 1: just wondering about them, how they're doing, what they're up

405
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,679
Speaker 1: to and all that. And we started off and I

406
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 1: was actually in a space where I could offer a

407
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: friendship m and in that At one point I was

408
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: just like, you know what, I think that I would

409
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 1: like to explore the possibility of dating. What do you think.

410
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 1: We had a long conversation about that, and then I

411
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:43,639
Speaker 1: went out to go see them, and we're talking about

412
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 1: three months of conversation back and forth before we ever

413
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:52,679
Speaker 1: let anybody else know, and before we were official. We

414
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: did a lot of work. We had to call all

415
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 1: of it out, like how things went down when we

416
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,360
Speaker 1: were in college together, Like, Yo, you didn't tell me

417
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 1: that you were struggling with school and struggling to be

418
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:08,239
Speaker 1: in a relationship, Like you could have said something. And

419
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 1: at the same time, I was a whole selfish ass

420
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 1: whole back then. I used to be like, oh, yeah,

421
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 1: she gets what she wants. I mean, I was insufferable.

422
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:24,680
Speaker 1: I am sure. Um just being able to hear what

423
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 1: he had to say about what it was like for

424
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: him to be in a relationship with me back then,

425
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: and for me to talk very honestly about getting back

426
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 1: with him that second time, and that I dumped him

427
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 1: the second time because I was just like, nope, and

428
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: I wanted to hurt his feeling So when you want

429
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:46,640
Speaker 1: to hurt somebody's feelings, you probably have no business being back. Yes,

430
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 1: So just we laid all the stuff bare on the table,

431
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 1: and then we started really dating a little and we

432
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:00,199
Speaker 1: were constantly checking out some of that love stuff just

433
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: picks back in and you just want to be able

434
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 1: to say it. And then I was times when I

435
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not sure I love you and he's like,

436
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 1: that's fine, and I was just like that felt better.

437
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 1: That the level of honesty and vulnerability that both of

438
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: us have to display to even get to this point

439
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:25,239
Speaker 1: has been incredible, And I don't know that a lot

440
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 1: of people are willing to do that much work to

441
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 1: have those type of conversations to also talk about how

442
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 1: you're going to reintegrate with somebody's family and your front groups,

443
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: because that's part of the reason why we didn't say

444
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 1: anything to anybody. We need an our stuff to shine

445
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 1: through first, right, So what you're kind of talking about

446
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: is something that I often talk about in terms of

447
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 1: a relationship autopsy, right, So like going through that, going

448
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 1: through kind of all of the rickets, so to speak, right,

449
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: and looking at like what happened there? And I think

450
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 1: that this is something that you can do both individually

451
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: and if you're thinking about becoming a couple again and

452
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 1: thinking about the ways that maybe you didn't show up

453
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 1: in the ways you wanted to in the relationship, like

454
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: how was I not making my needs? And I wish

455
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,400
Speaker 1: I had your book then, but it really helped me. Yes,

456
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 1: some of these questions are in my workbook, the questions

457
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,919
Speaker 1: that need answers after a breakup. Um, it really kind

458
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 1: of takes you to this whole process of like rediscovering

459
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 1: maybe your own voice that might have been kind of

460
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 1: diminished in the relationship, and and helping you to really

461
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: kind of think about what would you want in a

462
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:38,679
Speaker 1: new relationship, whether it be with this person again or

463
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:42,159
Speaker 1: someone else exactly and being able to show up for

464
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:45,719
Speaker 1: you because I mean, let's make no mistake about it,

465
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: Black women specifically are often told exactly how they're supposed

466
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 1: to show up in anybody's relationship, and a lot of

467
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 1: it has to do with diminishing the self to boost

468
00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 1: somebody else up. I don't. I don't diminish nothing at all.

469
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,159
Speaker 1: And you like, I just wanted a partner that was

470
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 1: gonna be able to be one hundred persist secure with

471
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 1: the type of person that I am, with the type

472
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: of work that I do, and how it is that

473
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: I show up and my partner is that person. He

474
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 1: was not that person at first. He had to grow

475
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:22,360
Speaker 1: into it, and I had to grow into allowing him

476
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: to be that because I did. I would calm it down,

477
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,360
Speaker 1: I would shut it down. I would do things that

478
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,120
Speaker 1: would let me be a little bit less than I am.

479
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 1: And I'm like, if you're gonna start with that energy,

480
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:40,360
Speaker 1: then you have to keep that energy when you show up.

481
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 1: You get to show up fully and you get to

482
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: see whether or not they can take being that way

483
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: with you, and whether or not they can actually be

484
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 1: with you, all of you, not the pieces that you

485
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 1: choose to show them or the way that we diminish

486
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:59,400
Speaker 1: yourselves to make them feel better about themselves. I am,

487
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 1: I am the women, I am an alpha in so

488
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 1: many ways, and that does not make my partner, uh,

489
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 1: you know, behind me. It does not put them beneath me.

490
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 1: It means that they are an outfa in ways that

491
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 1: I am not. They take charge in things that I

492
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,640
Speaker 1: do not. This house, in a lot of ways is

493
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 1: taking charge by my partner because I will starve us

494
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: both just like well, I mean I ordered the Uber eats,

495
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 1: cooking this doing. Oh yeah, we're gonna be butt naked

496
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 1: and hungry in this house because I'm like, those things

497
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 1: do not interest me. Those are not things that I

498
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: feel require the brunt of my attention. I mean I

499
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: do them on occasion, but my partner has also been

500
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 1: like stop. My partner has been like, you've got to

501
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: do X, Y and Z. You are running a business,

502
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 1: and as a person running a business, you need more

503
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: time to run that business. Me take care of you.

504
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 1: And those words we're just so real because when we

505
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 1: got back together, I did not have a business, but

506
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: now that I do, I'm just like, okay, man, you

507
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: gotta love it. And it it is that I mean, that

508
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: is the goal for relationships, right, is that you are

509
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 1: able to show up as who you are. And so

510
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: many of us will still deny it. You know, we'll

511
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 1: still we'll still we're the ones to turn it off

512
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 1: and make it not a thing because we will show

513
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 1: up as less than who we are, and we gotta

514
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 1: do better than that because we don't allow them to

515
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: learn how to show up for us in all of

516
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 1: our strength and in all of our vulnerability. Amen. So

517
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 1: we see that throughout the night. Um, and we've already

518
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 1: kind of alluded to this. Throughout the night, Gondola is

519
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 1: texting or calling Lawrence to see if they can and

520
00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: meet up later, giving me hard palpitations and single time right,

521
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 1: and it's like, what is she going to say? Like what?

522
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 1: And I'm like, it's being sneaky because that does not

523
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 1: speak to his growth. Being sneaky how Like, like there's

524
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 1: more going on between him and Condola than he was

525
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 1: letting on. That's what I'm like, what's going on here?

526
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 1: How you had better? This had better not be you

527
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: treating Issa the same way that you treated that one,

528
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: you know, the one check from like a couple like

529
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 1: a season or so ago, where he's acting like boyfriend

530
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,959
Speaker 1: material but really he a fun boy And I'm just like,

531
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: come on now, don't don't don't do that been somebody

532
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: get that impression. Yeah, I felt like this was kind

533
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 1: of out of the ordinary, like maybe he and Candola

534
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 1: had been kind of talking about that maybe she was

535
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 1: calling more that night for some reason, which led me

536
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 1: to believe, like I have seen other people kind of speculate,

537
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 1: is she expecting out not? Did you think that? I

538
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: fully felt like when somebody said I was after the

539
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 1: second call, I thought, Wow, this is kind of like persistent, right,

540
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 1: like like just really have something to site, Like what's

541
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 1: happening that they need to talk tonight? So I don't know,

542
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 1: we will see, we will see. So we kind of

543
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: wrap up the episode. We see they share an uber

544
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,719
Speaker 1: on the way back to both of their homes, and

545
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: there's right right exactly, and you know, so there's this

546
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 1: teasing and then he tells the uber driver or the

547
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: lift driver, UM, like, okay, wait for her for five minutes.

548
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: I just want to kind of show her my place,

549
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: right right. So I already knew where we were headed

550
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 1: at that point, right, So that's like, well, if you're

551
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 1: in the house right right, she goes in, she takes

552
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: a little bit of a tour, and then see what happens.

553
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 1: Does Condola call or just before she goes to the

554
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: bathroom or after she went to the bathroom, and he

555
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: I think he stepped outside because I think maybe he

556
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: maybe his text again or called again, and then he

557
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: stepped outside to call her back. And I can say this,

558
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:16,480
Speaker 1: I really appreciate that he didn't just ignore her all

559
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 1: night long. He did respond back. I think that some

560
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 1: people be acting like they're too busy to send somebody

561
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 1: a text message back. I'm just like, well, what is

562
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: your level of investment with that person? What is the

563
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: what is the level of important in your life? If

564
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 1: you just refuse to give them any level of communication back.

565
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 1: I actually appreciated that because if she is indeed pregnant

566
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 1: or something else is going on on her, and at

567
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 1: the very least knowing that somebody is saying, all right,

568
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 1: I'm about to get back with you, let me let

569
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: me I'll hit you up soon. These things, I'm like, yes,

570
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 1: they helped him reduce another person's anxiety. So I was

571
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 1: appreciative of that, even though that's not how it went there.

572
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 1: Right then, he was considerate of her feelings. So we

573
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 1: see that Lisa does see him step out, like she

574
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 1: overhears like some of the conversation, and she infers that

575
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 1: he and Condole are supposed to be meeting up later

576
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 1: that night, and so she is kind of on her

577
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: way to go out and then says, well, what if

578
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 1: I want to stay? And I was like, oh, hey, girl,

579
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 1: don't say what you want? And this to means that

580
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 1: piece of her throwing herself in and like, yes, I'm here,

581
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 1: like I'm a jump on with both feet. This is

582
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 1: what I want. If this is something that you are

583
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 1: also wanting, I want to make sure that I am

584
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 1: clear that this is what I want and that yeah,

585
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 1: so I can see that, Like I feel like there

586
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: was a part of me that was also like good

587
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 1: for her for being assertive and like even if he

588
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 1: doesn't say yes, like she stated what she wanted right, um,

589
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: but there was also a piece of me that felt

590
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 1: like what what happened here? Right? Like? Because it feels

591
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 1: like there was a little bit of a competitiveness may

592
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: and that that may not be the right word, but

593
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 1: I can't think of anything else, right Like that she

594
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 1: knows that he and Condola are planning on meeting up

595
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: and so she's now like you know, like throwing her

596
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: hat in the ring. Also and you know what, I

597
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:15,359
Speaker 1: didn't get the competitiveness, but just oh if I don't

598
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 1: tell you how I feel, I will I will be

599
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 1: the one wondering what I will be the one not

600
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 1: having done my part. I'm not about to step aside

601
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 1: and let this woman because remember she said it before,

602
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: like I feel like I built this man. She she's

603
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: gonna reach the benefits of the work that I put in,

604
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,720
Speaker 1: And so I appreciate it being able to say clearly,

605
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 1: like this is actually what I want. If this is

606
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: something that you're wanting, now is the moment to tell me, yes, okay,

607
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,760
Speaker 1: that's what I like that reframe. I like that reframe

608
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 1: because I wasn't like, don't be hitting no, Dwayne, that

609
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:56,479
Speaker 1: somebody's win, right, Don't don't be waiting five years later

610
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 1: to come forward. I'm talking about somewhere, are you right?

611
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 1: It's like no, no, no, no no. When I having

612
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 1: no different world moments, you're not growing red weddings. Saying

613
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,800
Speaker 1: the day before, said a week before, said a month before,

614
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: preferably said, while somebody is maybe not with somebody else

615
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: right where, they are at least available, that's like, that's

616
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 1: a good idea. Yeah. Yeah. So we see that they

617
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:26,839
Speaker 1: have all the good sex and she spends the night

618
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: and we see them wake up the next morning. They

619
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: had a great time. Um, I mean while waiting, I

620
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: was were like, where the clothes come from? Right? I

621
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 1: had to So it wasn't until the third watch, because

622
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 1: I have now watched it three times. Um, it wasn't

623
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,280
Speaker 1: anti the third watch that I realized she had bought

624
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 1: the shirt at the art walk. Oh yes, yes, Like like,

625
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 1: oh so you're playing this yeah, like it is this

626
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 1: Condola shirt? Like who shirts this a girl? I'm like, okay,

627
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: thank you? Right, yeah, So on third watch I recognized

628
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 1: that she had the bag leaving the art walk, so

629
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 1: she actually bought the sweatshirt. Okay, that makes sense. That

630
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:11,879
Speaker 1: makes sense because wait, wait, wait now they wake up,

631
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 1: right they wake up and he's like, oh, do you

632
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,839
Speaker 1: want me to bring you home or call a lift?

633
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 1: I don't remember what he said. I mean she's like, no,

634
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 1: I walk, I walk. I was that's not look like

635
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 1: anybody's short walk right around the corner. That was not

636
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 1: right around the corner by any means. No, But I

637
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: think it was symbolic. And I also saw that Natasha

638
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 1: did an interview about it. Right, because we often will

639
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 1: hear that morning after walk as a walk of shame,

640
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 1: so to speak, But this was not a walk of shame,

641
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 1: like she was dro right, And I think it's also

642
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 1: interesting that, of course, in the opening scene we saw

643
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 1: her fall on her face in these heels that she

644
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,399
Speaker 1: could barely walk in, and now she's like shrutting down

645
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: the streets of l A and these heels feeling you know,

646
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 1: it seems like really good about herself herself. I was like, oh,

647
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 1: so don't be happy, And I really do like that

648
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: it was reframed away from a walk of shame, especially

649
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: because black women are often talked to be ashamed of

650
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 1: their sexuality. We don't need anymore rhetoric that sort of

651
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 1: confirms that. So being able to see it like there's joy,

652
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: there's peace, a walk of reflection, because she looked like

653
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 1: you're still, you know, thinking things through, not not like pensively,

654
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:31,839
Speaker 1: but not in a in her head it's a typical way.

655
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but in a way of like, yes i am,

656
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 1: I'm I'm good with how things went, and if you know,

657
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 1: based on the preview for next week, I'm looking like

658
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: in a way that says okay, I'm ready to confront

659
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:50,359
Speaker 1: more things. Mm hmmmmmmm. Yes, So now we can get

660
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 1: into our predictions. So, so what do you think this means?

661
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 1: So you already kind of share that you are hopeful

662
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: that this is like a closure of a situation, not

663
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: necessarily that they're getting back together. I'm hoping that this

664
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 1: is a full close of this chapter, and that that

665
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: means that from here on in, when they are in

666
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 1: space together, it's not them to be awkward or anything

667
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,400
Speaker 1: like that. But I'm not I'm not hoping for a

668
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:18,879
Speaker 1: reunion of Pisa and Lawrence. I'm actually hoping for quite

669
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 1: the opposite. I'm hoping for something that offers them both

670
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:28,240
Speaker 1: clarity about everything, the sort of the sort of closure

671
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: that people say that they're looking for. I'm hoping that

672
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: they actually got that, that they're able now to be

673
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: in a space like if they were to get together.

674
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 1: And I'm not a hundred opposed. I just don't want

675
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:42,720
Speaker 1: it to be another situation where they fall in love,

676
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: because fall in love of course talks like you have

677
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 1: no choice, always have a choice. I want them to

678
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: grow in love and be intentional in love, not be

679
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 1: falling in it. Yeah, she fell on her face, the

680
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: way to bring that full circle? Way to bring that

681
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:02,439
Speaker 1: full circle? Yeah, I I agree with you, Like I

682
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: don't actually think that this is the beginning of them

683
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 1: getting back together, and like you, I'm not opposed to them.

684
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 1: And this was shot so beautifully and written so beautifully

685
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 1: that it makes me feel like, oh, they're so cute together.

686
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 1: Like I liked them together right when I had before

687
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 1: they got Joe. I was just like, oh, I like that,

688
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 1: but thank you all real. I really liked her with

689
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 1: Nathan and even you know, before he goes in and

690
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 1: everything like that, and I feel like he he was

691
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 1: and I guess maybe in that moment specifically something that

692
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: she needed at that level of I got you encouraging

693
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 1: do the thing that you want to do. Yes, because

694
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, let's let's be real, that should have

695
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: been Molly even at that point. It should have been

696
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 1: right and it was not good point, but it was

697
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: this guy and he got to see the fruits of

698
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,760
Speaker 1: her labor and that I mean, we know they have laughs,

699
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 1: we know that they communicate. Well, I actually would prefer that,

700
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: but I mean I also know that people be like,

701
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 1: don't be going to that no excess. So I think

702
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 1: there's a new person in the in the picture. I

703
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 1: don't sound see nobody yet, but right I don't bring

704
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 1: them on. I'm ready. Yeah, Well, we'll be open to it. Yeah,

705
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 1: But I also think what a lot of us like.

706
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 1: I saw a lot of people say that they felt

707
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 1: like this was their favorite episode like of the series,

708
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 1: and I think, you know, it was so peaceful, and

709
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: I think, given like again that the world is on

710
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 1: fire right now, I think that it felt very It

711
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 1: felt very calm. It felt really nice to see people

712
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 1: like laugh together and tease one another and be in

713
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 1: that way that we are. Yeah, SOMEBCEE black love, But

714
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,880
Speaker 1: I think it also highlights how you can be familiar

715
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: and comfortable with someone and that's still not necessarily means

716
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 1: you need to be in a relationship with them. How

717
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 1: sometimes we confuse it. How sometimes we confuse that right,

718
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 1: because they of course have jokes because they have known

719
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 1: each other for years, for years, Yeah, but they are

720
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 1: familiar with each other. Of course they have inside jokes,

721
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 1: you know that space. So we got love for each other.

722
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: But just because you have loved us and you have

723
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: to be together. Yeah. So I actually think what's gonna

724
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:19,240
Speaker 1: happen is that he is probably going to get offered

725
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 1: a job in San Francisco, but it's going to find

726
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 1: out that Condola is expecting and then we'll be forced

727
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 1: to kind of make a choice maybe about whether he

728
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 1: moves or whether he stays. That's what I know. I know,

729
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just I had that feeling. And

730
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 1: so then when I saw people online saying they thought

731
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 1: that she was pregnant to I was like, oh my gosh,

732
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:46,919
Speaker 1: it's not just me. So just right dreaming a fish,

733
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: somebody mama is dreaming a fish and we think it

734
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 1: means Condola. I don't know. I don't know. We might

735
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 1: be completely left field, left out of field with that,

736
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 1: but we will see. And so, like you said in

737
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 1: the preview, we see that next she has called Molly.

738
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: It seems to have this kind of conversation about like

739
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 1: how do we maybe regroup? Yea, And I'm looking forward

740
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 1: to that. I had been read, so I have to

741
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,759
Speaker 1: be honest, I am feeling a kind of way that

742
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 1: she made the call. Did it? Oh? Absolutely did. I

743
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 1: definitely feel a way about that as well, because it

744
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 1: speaks to patterns in their relationship and it's almost like

745
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: nothing changed then because I have to reach out to you. Yes,

746
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:34,799
Speaker 1: I agree, I agree. It to me speaks to it

747
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 1: makes me wonder what kind of energy Molly is gonna

748
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 1: be coming in with and if it's gonna be that

749
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 1: I wasn't wrong, you was wrong energy, and the sort

750
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 1: of sitting there the same way that she was sitting

751
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 1: there in that restaurant when you know, when he pulled

752
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,880
Speaker 1: up and was like nah and left. Molly to me

753
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,360
Speaker 1: was so mean in that moment, like when she was

754
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 1: talking about it to Andrew and was like she running

755
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 1: from me, like she running from a real job. That

756
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: let me know exactly what you think of her. And

757
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 1: you know, even in this preview, we see like she's

758
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 1: like even still with Andrew having conversations about like not

759
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,880
Speaker 1: really wanting to have this conversation, like I don't remember

760
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 1: exactly what she used, but it seems like she still

761
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 1: of course feels away. Yeah, yeah, we will have to

762
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,840
Speaker 1: see what's gonna happen with them. So I think what

763
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 1: we only have two more episodes, is that it? Right?

764
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, I know, so sad, and I'm just like,

765
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is enough time to resolve.

766
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. We only got to

767
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 1: one episode, so and you know, of course it's not

768
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:34,319
Speaker 1: gonna completely resolved because of course they've already been picked

769
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 1: up for season five, right, um, so we will have

770
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,319
Speaker 1: at least one more season to kind of figure out

771
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 1: what is happening with everybody. Yeah, and I'm hoping that

772
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:46,839
Speaker 1: at some point, I mean, you know, I'm I'm still

773
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 1: just speculating. I'm really just hoping that Molly puts away

774
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 1: some of the other stuff and maybe it's able to

775
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 1: see how she was wrong and it's able to offer

776
00:43:55,600 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 1: a genuine apology and some level restitution for what happened. Well,

777
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: we saw when she was on a vacation with Andrew

778
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 1: that she called to her therapist, So hopefully we will

779
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 1: see even in this next episode there could be a

780
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: conversation with her therapist or maybe her reflecting on what

781
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 1: she talked about in therapy. That would be great because

782
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know one thing that us therapists do well,

783
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 1: we help people see themselves, right, We will ask you

784
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 1: a ton of questions. Oh yeah, and so of my clients,

785
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,919
Speaker 1: you know, they'd be like big mad, little mad. They'd

786
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 1: be like, so, I mean you're gonna snatch my whole

787
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 1: wee not gonna leave me, no edges. I'm like, you

788
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 1: didn't even need the match, Well, you don't need all

789
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 1: grow back. You're fine, and I'm gonna grow back in

790
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 1: a whole new, healthier, wealthy right nicely. You don't want

791
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:52,719
Speaker 1: that other stuff gets snatched, get snatched. So I'm hoping that, like,

792
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: even if it does turn out that, you know, he

793
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 1: is the one that calls Molly and maybe the conversation

794
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 1: doesn't go as expected or desire um, that maybe the

795
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,959
Speaker 1: next thing is Molly going to her therapist and having

796
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,359
Speaker 1: a conversation and get her weig snatched just a little bit,

797
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,279
Speaker 1: and then maybe she will then be the one to

798
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 1: reach back out to Issa and to apologize and to

799
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 1: actually mean it, because she would have done some reflection

800
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: of herself where she's being challenged. Because I'm gonna be real,

801
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 1: I'm a little disappointed with Andrew. How I'm looking like

802
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 1: he do gentle challenging and that's all great and good,

803
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 1: but I'm just like, where is the real challenging here?

804
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,880
Speaker 1: So you feel like he there needs to be like

805
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 1: a more intense maybe conversation in terms of challenging her. Yeah,

806
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 1: because I'm just like, yeah, I appreciate that he's a

807
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 1: lovely and wonderful and almost perfect guy, but he also

808
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: seems a little bit passive. Yeah. So, I mean, so

809
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 1: we did not talk about the episode last week where

810
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,719
Speaker 1: she went on vacation. We didn't do a recap after

811
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 1: that one, but there was this whole blow up with

812
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,280
Speaker 1: the family, right, and so it could be that maybe

813
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:04,240
Speaker 1: we will see some of the aftermath of that, because

814
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 1: I did not expect that to resolve as like easily

815
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 1: as it did, given like the back and forth she

816
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: had with his brother. What I was like, what's up?

817
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 1: I was like, now, don't get me wrong, brother was there.

818
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:18,359
Speaker 1: He was super wrong wrong. Yeah, But I'm like, at

819
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 1: the same time, I'm just like, um, Andrew, you still

820
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 1: sort of left her out here by herself when they

821
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 1: were having the argument. You. But at the same time,

822
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 1: I'm just like, there's no level of nothing coming from you,

823
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: like what's up. I'm just like, I feel like it

824
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 1: just gives like these small little nuggets of revelations for her.

825
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, so you don't have, like I

826
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:44,240
Speaker 1: played a revelation you on Nuet. Well, I mean, it

827
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 1: could be there. He knows that she can only take nuggets.

828
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 1: At this point, we don't know so so much. You

829
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,880
Speaker 1: had to be seen right so much in two episodes

830
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 1: we got to answer all of these questions. Yes, I'm

831
00:46:56,080 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: just I'm excited and I'm looking forward. I am you know,

832
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 1: I'm in happy anticipation. I'm not my sumthing, not enough

833
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 1: like it was when they had that blow up. I

834
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:11,240
Speaker 1: was just like, yeah, you're right, We're just we're just hoping.

835
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm met at the exhale. I'm just

836
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 1: waiting to exhale. We just want to see how and

837
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:20,920
Speaker 1: if they are going to try to resolve this friendship.

838
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 1: I really, I really do hope that they're able to

839
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 1: do so, and even if they're not able to do

840
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 1: so all in the you know, in the space of

841
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 1: the rest of this season, I think that that is

842
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: also true for how we move so like the same

843
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,719
Speaker 1: way that it took Lawrence and all this time to

844
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 1: be able to hash it out and put the stuff

845
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,040
Speaker 1: and lay it there the way that they need in

846
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:44,320
Speaker 1: this episode, maybe that ends up being part of the

847
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 1: Molly Issa work as well that it is ongoing work.

848
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:50,400
Speaker 1: I would love to see the both of them in

849
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:54,839
Speaker 1: therapy together because I think that they both have some

850
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 1: things that um I think they both have some legit

851
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 1: grievances that they should be able to air out and

852
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 1: all honesty and be heard. Agreed, agreed. Yeah, and so

853
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: we saw that she was able to do that with

854
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 1: Lawrence many years later, and so it could be the

855
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 1: same kind of thing with her and Molly then, because

856
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: that is the kind of conversation they also need to

857
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: have absolutely happened here, you know, me to season Yeah, yeah,

858
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:24,320
Speaker 1: that really needs to be an autopsy in this relationship

859
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 1: to kind of see what has happened here. So we mean,

860
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 1: you always gotta go too far. You's got to go

861
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:39,720
Speaker 1: too far. Love, Well, thank you so much for joining

862
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 1: us again this week. You will likely be back, well,

863
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 1: we know for sure you're gonna be back in two

864
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,360
Speaker 1: weeks that you might be back next week, depending on

865
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 1: what happens in this Sunday's episode. We'll see it's not

866
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:54,840
Speaker 1: gonna blow up this episode, good vibes, likely slightly. We

867
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:56,920
Speaker 1: will be chatting with you again in two weeks to

868
00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:00,080
Speaker 1: do a finally recap, to to chat about everything you

869
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:07,399
Speaker 1: see in the final Alright, I'm excited update you. I'm

870
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 1: so glad Dr oriole Will was able to join us

871
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,640
Speaker 1: again this week. Don't forget to check out the show

872
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 1: notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. Slash session

873
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 1: for links to our previous two conversations are to grab

874
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,400
Speaker 1: your copy of her book, Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease,

875
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 1: and please share your takeaways and predictions with us on

876
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:31,959
Speaker 1: social media using the hashtag tv G in session. Don't

877
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 1: forget to share this episode with the other Insecure fans

878
00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 1: in your life. If you're looking for a therapist in

879
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:41,439
Speaker 1: your area, be sure to check out our therapist directory

880
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:45,359
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And

881
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 1: if you want to continue digging into this topic and

882
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:51,040
Speaker 1: meet some other sisters in your area, come on over

883
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 1: and join us in the Yellow College Collective, where we

884
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: take a deeper dive into the topics from the podcast

885
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 1: and just about everything else. You can join us at

886
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,759
Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com sash y c C.

887
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:06,840
Speaker 1: Thank y'all so much for joining me again this week.

888
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 1: I look forward to continue in this conversation with you

889
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 1: all real soon. Take it care