Speaker 1: See you next Tuesday. In Jersey.
Speaker 2: It's the season eleven premiere, and there is never a
Speaker 2: dull moment. Dolores and David fight over her plastic surgery.
Speaker 2: Teresa goes around Evan's birthday party talking about him, and
Speaker 2: Jackie makes a comment about Gia that has Teresa fired up.
Speaker 2: Entertainment reporter and host of the podcast It Sure is
Speaker 2: a Beautiful Day, Kat Sadler joins me to break down
Speaker 2: the episode. This is real Housewives of New Jersey, Season eleven,
Speaker 2: episode one, See You next Tuesday. Let's get into it.
Speaker 2: So are you a Housewives fan? Do you have you
Speaker 2: watched for years?
Speaker 1: Do you have a specific favorite city?
Speaker 3: Okay, so, Bethany, you know, when I was on E
Speaker 3: covering this stuff every day, I was responsible for kind
Speaker 3: of watching everything, right, you have to be a bit
Speaker 3: of an expert on everything. And so as much as
Speaker 3: like I have had the pleasure of interviewing you before
Speaker 3: and Housewives from every franchise, I have never been an avid,
Speaker 3: like die hard plot line savvy viewer. So it's like
Speaker 3: I know a little bit about everything, but you know,
Speaker 3: I had to watch the Kardashians. I had to watch
Speaker 3: you know, I had to watch the Emmy nominated scripted shows.
Speaker 2: So it's kind of like, I know enough, but I
Speaker 2: knowly fluent, but I get by.
Speaker 3: I am not fluent at at all, really, but it
Speaker 3: was so fun watching this episode because I'm like, why
Speaker 3: am I not watching more? Because my life is so
Speaker 3: boring these days and I watch I'm usually like into
Speaker 3: the super like dramatic successions of the world and you know,
Speaker 3: like I like like really dark scripted stuff dramas. So
Speaker 3: I was watching this and I had the best time.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, this is this is my new
Speaker 3: my new thing.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 3: It was fantastic. It was fun.
Speaker 2: This is Jersey and I'm not fluent either. I speak
Speaker 2: the language better than you, and I have institutional knowledge
Speaker 2: because I've been inside show, but some of these episodes,
Speaker 2: I have never seen this episode either.
Speaker 1: I don't know who everybody is either.
Speaker 2: I mean I have heard their names and seeing their faces,
Speaker 2: but I don't know the characters that well either.
Speaker 3: So well, let me just tell you one fun fact
Speaker 3: before we get into this. Only because you know, as
Speaker 3: far as my knowledge goes, I had the crazy assignment
Speaker 3: this had to be you might know more than me.
Speaker 3: But when Teresa got out of prison. When would that
Speaker 3: have been, Like.
Speaker 1: I have the one the literally maybe five years ago,
Speaker 1: maybe longer.
Speaker 3: I feel like this was maybe ten years ago. But
Speaker 3: as someone who didn't know the franchise that well, somehow
Speaker 3: I got the first post jail house interview with Teresa
Speaker 3: and this was in New York City and it was
Speaker 3: in a hotel room and it was three hours of exclusive.
Speaker 3: You had the exclusive, and I was the reporter on this.
Speaker 3: So that's that's what I remember. Gosh, that was almost
Speaker 3: eight years eight years ago. Yeah, and I got to
Speaker 3: sit down with her and like hear her talk about
Speaker 3: her prison experience or whatever. So that was like the biggest,
Speaker 3: most in depth like moment. And so it was wild
Speaker 3: to like watch her in this episode and just see
Speaker 3: how much has changed him where she is and I
Speaker 3: had no idea, so I kind of got caught up
Speaker 3: on all that.
Speaker 2: And now right now, I'm sure you know she's married
Speaker 2: and it's controversial too, and it's just a crazy environment.
Speaker 2: But Delores and Frank, I don't know what season she started,
Speaker 2: but I think Frank is her ex husband and she
Speaker 2: shares a son with him, so you saw that she
Speaker 2: has a son. I think he's like, you know, he
Speaker 2: looks like a hot kid, but I think people think
Speaker 2: he's like a really hot son and and he It's
Speaker 2: what was interesting to me was that he was friend.
Speaker 2: He seems like he's very close with her current boyfriend
Speaker 2: who's a doctor.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, did you see that in the kitchen. I
Speaker 3: did see that in the kitchen. I was trying to
Speaker 3: piece together, like, Okay, what are all the moving parts here?
Speaker 3: And yeah he By the way, my son is off
Speaker 3: to college next week, so I like I get the whole, like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, grown man but still a child. And
Speaker 3: he was studying for his what trying to get into
Speaker 3: business score or something. Anyway, Yeah, that's an interesting dynamic.
Speaker 3: She's like living with her ex right like on occasion.
Speaker 1: No, I don't know.
Speaker 2: She seems always like it seems like her ACX is
Speaker 2: always her date and her plus one. And this audience,
Speaker 2: this Bravo audience, myself including likes this guy Frank. He's
Speaker 2: a good fun character and he's you know, he's like
Speaker 2: this like cute sweet meathead that is just always around her.
Speaker 2: And I don't know if he really is in love
Speaker 2: with her. They're best friends, they've worked together. I think
Speaker 2: I think they've done houses together, but he seems like
Speaker 2: a good guy and it just didn't work from a
Speaker 2: relationship standpoint. I think he might have cheated on her
Speaker 2: when they were together or something. But it's weird to
Speaker 2: watch when you know that she has broken up with
Speaker 2: this other guy. I don't know when or who she's
Speaker 2: with now, but I think it's in like my periphery
Speaker 2: that she's not with this guy, and this is sort
Speaker 2: of like they're setting up with the fact that they're
Speaker 2: going to break up. So I'm of course thinking about
Speaker 2: what's going to happen with the son and this guy's relationship.
Speaker 2: But when a son is older, when a child is older,
Speaker 2: they're an adult and they have their own phone number
Speaker 2: and text and emails so they can have whatever relationships
Speaker 2: they want.
Speaker 1: He's an adult.
Speaker 3: Yeah, completely, completely. I don't know enough about the backstory,
Speaker 3: but but it's hard to keep up. It's hard to
Speaker 3: keep up. Do you know that? That's exactly what I mean.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm not bringing it back to myself again,
Speaker 3: but this is exactly this is exactly what's going on
Speaker 3: in my life at the moment. I moved to Malibu
Speaker 3: because of my new partner. I've been dating for two
Speaker 3: years and I have two sons and they're eighteen and
Speaker 3: twenty two. And it's so interesting because they have such
Speaker 3: a great relationship with their own dad that it takes
Speaker 3: the pressure off because to your point, it's like they
Speaker 3: can be as close to Greg as they want to be.
Speaker 3: They can like connect with them, they can golf with them,
Speaker 3: they can you know, gro out with him if they
Speaker 3: want to, but they don't have to. They're old, they're older,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like, so it's kind of
Speaker 3: like letting it or gan evolve to the level that
Speaker 3: they want to and they can come here as much
Speaker 3: as they want, and they don't have to be here
Speaker 3: if they don't want to be. It's kind of nice.
Speaker 3: It's kind of freeing when your kids do get older
Speaker 3: in that sense that when you are choosing a partner,
Speaker 3: as so many middle aged women are, you know, maybe
Speaker 3: the second time around, or third time around, or who
Speaker 3: knows what, but you can actually choose for yourself. And
Speaker 3: obviously you want your kids and your family to adore
Speaker 3: your partner, but if they don't, it's not the end
Speaker 3: of the world. It's not a deal breaker.
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, yes, do apply it to yourself.
Speaker 2: Don't say I don't want to make I want you
Speaker 2: to apply it to yourself, because that's literally what the
Speaker 2: show is about. It's funny that I just walk into
Speaker 2: something and you happen to be experiencing it, which I
Speaker 2: do like this show as a vehicle for that. But yeah,
Speaker 2: and I find when kids are little kids, you're kind
Speaker 2: of just like sticking them in a car seat and
Speaker 2: they're doing what you want them to do, and if
Speaker 2: they don't like someone that you're with, they'll make a comment,
Speaker 2: or if someone doesn't like you, it makes you feel
Speaker 2: really bad and it's something you have to deal with
Speaker 2: and you think it's going to last forever. For those
Speaker 2: of you listening that are in blended families or blended
Speaker 2: relationship or step kids that hate you or whatever, things
Speaker 2: like that are really just a moment in time, and
Speaker 2: even more so where if there's blending, even teens, tweens,
Speaker 2: high school, college, there are so few moments that everybody
Speaker 2: has to be all together at the same time. Like
Speaker 2: that's what holidays before, That's why holidays are stressful. But
Speaker 2: in my well, I have a blended situation. We all
Speaker 2: have a great relationship. But it's not that often that
Speaker 2: everyone is actually together, because there's time that my daughter's
Speaker 2: with a father and I'm with my daughter and I'm
Speaker 2: with my fiance and he is this kid likes. It's
Speaker 2: hard to corral an entire stable, you know of animals,
Speaker 2: so so to your point, especially when they're older, everybody
Speaker 2: kind of can have the relationship they want to have.
Speaker 2: And yes, the pressure is off. People are adults. They
Speaker 2: can say what's on their mind. And a child adult
Speaker 2: can say, I think that's disrespectful what you just said
Speaker 2: to me, and an adult adult can say you're spoiled
Speaker 2: and you know whatever.
Speaker 1: Like kind of people have voices, Yes.
Speaker 3: They do, and it is hard to corral everybody, and
Speaker 3: sometimes it's good kind of to not. I mean, life
Speaker 3: is so busy and everybody's got their own agendas and
Speaker 3: their responsibilities and all of that. I mean, Greg I
Speaker 3: just inherited four kids. Greg has four kids, so I
Speaker 3: have never dated anyone after having my own children who
Speaker 3: was a father, and so this is much less.
Speaker 1: Four four No, that's a lot, right, it's a lot.
Speaker 3: And there of course with their mothers week on, week off,
Speaker 3: week one week off, so it's not all the time.
Speaker 3: And I think kind of like what you're saying, it's
Speaker 3: nice that way in a sesse. It's like they come,
Speaker 3: they go. It's not one hundred percent of the time.
Speaker 3: Everybody can come up for air. Everybody has their own
Speaker 3: little spaces and places in this world that make them
Speaker 3: feel good, and it's the pressure's off because of that.
Speaker 2: I think for sure, Well, it's the good thing that
Speaker 2: no one says aloud, Like in twenty twenty three, it's okay,
Speaker 2: you might not the relationship might not work for you.
Speaker 2: If you had to live with six children in your house,
Speaker 2: you might not be that. But I couldn't do it.
Speaker 2: So I could fall in love with someone who had
Speaker 2: four kids. But if I and that's what happens in
Speaker 2: the beginning of relationships. That's why people have to really
Speaker 2: talk about this stuff more when they're dating and be
Speaker 2: honest about it, or listen to people like us who
Speaker 2: have experienced it. If you thought you had to eat
Speaker 2: the whole entire chicken at once, you might throw up.
Speaker 1: You couldn't handle it.
Speaker 2: Like if I thought I had to have that whole
Speaker 2: blended family, the idea of it, it would overwhelm me.
Speaker 2: But in real life, like, everything's a living breeding organism,
Speaker 2: and it there's no such thing as really traditional now
Speaker 2: unless you're twenty four and you both come up together
Speaker 2: and the parents are best friends and everyone travels together
Speaker 2: and it's like an Italian family from the sixties.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And just to add one more layer, I mean here,
Speaker 3: I am about to be literally Bethanny. In five days.
Speaker 3: I dropped my son off at college, my baby, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, I was about to be an empty nester.
Speaker 3: And some you know, my friends are like, cool, wait
Speaker 3: a minute. You were literally about your whole world could
Speaker 3: open up. You could do anything, go anywhere, have any job,
Speaker 3: take on any project. The freedom was literally right here
Speaker 3: in front of my face. And of course I fall
Speaker 3: in love with someone with four young kids, and that
Speaker 3: wasn't consideration. It was just like Kat, They're like, are
Speaker 3: you sure you want to sign up for that? You know,
Speaker 3: and they're lovely and they're such great children, and I
Speaker 3: keep saying that. They're like yeah, but still it's four kids.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's exactly so.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: People do distance, people do divorce, people do widow people
Speaker 2: do everything. So I agree, And that's interesting. That's funny
Speaker 2: that that kitchen conversation brought this whole thing up. So
Speaker 2: the next topic that was interesting to me about Dolores was,
Speaker 2: you know, new ass new DIDs, and she didn't tell
Speaker 2: her life partner. Now that is really interesting.
Speaker 3: How does that even happen?
Speaker 1: I don't actually know.
Speaker 2: Maybe he was on a business trip where she said
Speaker 2: she was at a spot. I don't that's a great point.
Speaker 2: I don't know if we saw that, but I didn't
Speaker 2: see it wasn't in this episode. Obviously she doesn't have
Speaker 2: to ask him, and she knows he's very against elective surgery.
Speaker 2: But I think you just have to tell your partner
Speaker 2: about something we were going under, and I just it's
Speaker 2: a I can't imagine being in that dynamic. I mean,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have to ask Paul's permission to do anything,
Speaker 2: but right he would feel hurt if I didn't include him.
Speaker 2: So that's a cautionary tale about their relationship. I think,
Speaker 2: I think it's nice to have the endorsement. Like you said,
Speaker 2: you don't need permission from anybody else, especially your partner,
Speaker 2: I don't think, but but but a little support, a
Speaker 2: little endorsement. I could not imagine keeping something of that
Speaker 2: gravity from someone that yeah, is, but also what about
Speaker 2: the compassion and the bedside man or there are times
Speaker 2: that my Fance does jiu jitsu and like, you know,
Speaker 2: he's he's in his forties and he's strong and he's
Speaker 2: good at it, but sometimes he goes too hard and
Speaker 2: that he hurts himself. He doesn't want to admit it
Speaker 2: because he feels like an idiot that he hurt himself.
Speaker 2: But I'm still there, like, are you okay? Whether I
Speaker 2: thought he should have been doing it right after he
Speaker 2: was injured before or something, It's still like you want
Speaker 2: the bedside manner of someone if you've gone through surgery.
Speaker 1: So I thought that whole thing.
Speaker 2: It's wild, like the show is showing that that relationship
Speaker 2: is not.
Speaker 3: Going to work. Yeah, I don't. I don't know how
Speaker 3: that's that's that's again possible to a not tell them
Speaker 3: and be for them to be anywhere within the vicinity
Speaker 3: to be supportive or judge whatever that that is. You'd
Speaker 3: think that'd be a little more intimate dynamic. You do know,
Speaker 3: I just got a facelift. Do you know this? Oh? No, yes,
Speaker 3: this is crazy? Yes me. So that's when I was
Speaker 3: watching the episode, I was like.
Speaker 1: Oh, this hell thing is about you.
Speaker 2: I mean, I know, I love my producers and they're
Speaker 2: always great a pairing guests. There's no way that they
Speaker 2: paired you because of all this, that then they would
Speaker 2: be savants and genius.
Speaker 1: Like your episode. Okay, so go ahead. That's funny.
Speaker 3: It's crazy because I this is my first surgery ever,
Speaker 3: so I I mean, yeah, it is. Technically it is
Speaker 3: my first and certainly my first cosmetic surgery. And I
Speaker 3: had a facelift, I had a necklift, and I had
Speaker 3: a buffer of PLASTI with my eyes. And I've been
Speaker 3: talking about what is the bluff it's like removing the
Speaker 3: skin from the hooded hoodedness. Yes, And just how long
Speaker 3: ago the surgery was in May? So I'm all, I'm
Speaker 3: about two months and some change since I had so new,
Speaker 3: it's very new. It's been kind of all I've been
Speaker 3: talking about and healing from still healing, like even my
Speaker 3: ears are a little numb and look amazing.
Speaker 2: I mean, I can't I need to see like now,
Speaker 2: I need to see what you looked like before again,
Speaker 2: But you look amazing, always are beautiful.
Speaker 3: But I'm so happy with the results and nice, I'm so,
Speaker 3: so so happy and I've been talking about this because
Speaker 3: so much of kind of what I am speaking about
Speaker 3: with my own audiences these days is about you know,
Speaker 3: being a middle aged woman and what's available to us
Speaker 3: and how to feel good in our bodies, like all
Speaker 3: of it, the vain, you know, cosmetic side, internal subject,
Speaker 3: the whole thing. Oh God, bless, oh God, bless. A
Speaker 3: great doctor, great doctor. But it was funny because for
Speaker 3: me and my little bubble in my little world, even
Speaker 3: though I've you know, been in Hollywood for ages, it
Speaker 3: was a big deal for me to do that. I mean,
Speaker 3: it's a very big decision. And that I watched this episode,
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I don't feel so bad. Everybody's
Speaker 3: been under the knife and she's had her butt done,
Speaker 3: her this done or it's done.
Speaker 1: You know, did you feel.
Speaker 2: Weird in a fairly new relationship to say to him?
Speaker 2: Did you feel self conscious and like weird and old
Speaker 2: like that? You're but he has four kids, so he's
Speaker 2: not a spring chicken at for kids.
Speaker 3: He is older, he's four years older. He's fifty, you know,
Speaker 3: five years older. And but it was back to this
Speaker 3: plot line, like I there is no way literally not
Speaker 3: as an out of possibility that I would be in
Speaker 3: a relationship and this wouldn't be a consideration for both
Speaker 3: of us to have that discussion.
Speaker 1: I mean, of course that's what you're that's the point.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I was like, of course I did. I was like,
Speaker 3: what do you think? And and his big thing was,
Speaker 3: I just want you to still look like you, Like,
Speaker 3: I don't want to end up with a new girlfriend
Speaker 3: that comes home from the doctor. And it's like, I
Speaker 3: have a brand new person in my life. So, you know,
Speaker 3: he expressed his concerns. I comfort him seventeen different ways
Speaker 3: that I knew how to say. That's also what I want.
Speaker 3: So we talked about eight length and yes he is
Speaker 3: happy and he comments often, and you know, I'm like, cee, cee, like,
Speaker 3: you know good.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's so nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so funny that this is the episode. And
Speaker 2: the woman Margaret who's on the show, I don't know
Speaker 2: if she's talked about plastic surgery, and certainly on that
Speaker 2: one to quote unquote out, but everybody on the show
Speaker 2: seems pretty open about the woman Dolores that had the
Speaker 2: butt stuff. She's one of the only people that she's
Speaker 2: one of the only housewives who admit that they're on
Speaker 2: ozempic or munjaro or one of those, or semi glue
Speaker 2: tie whatever, and there has been a sweeping, dramatic housewife
Speaker 2: weight loss, and everyone's just acting like in their fifties
Speaker 2: and menopause, they just started losing weight. And it's really
Speaker 2: stupid and hilarious at the same time. It's funny, but
Speaker 2: like I think that they've just it's become more common,
Speaker 2: so now they probably would have admitted it, but they're
Speaker 2: stuck in the lie because they are ready lied about it.
Speaker 2: But I'm not saying that's Margaret. I don't even know
Speaker 2: if she's on ozempi. I don't know what she looked
Speaker 2: like before, but she looks very fresh. Like I feel
Speaker 2: like I've seen her a lot in the press and
Speaker 2: other things. She looks her face looks very very she's
Speaker 2: a fresh look.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 3: Well, and it's going on so much more. I mean,
Speaker 3: you know, like, you know, I don't know if people
Speaker 3: are everybody's getting a facelift these days, but you know,
Speaker 3: I love it. And you look at someone and you're like,
Speaker 3: they look so refreshed to your point, and people are like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, you know she had such and such
Speaker 3: makeup artists do her makeup, and it's like, I don't
Speaker 3: think that's like a really well done eyeliner. I think
Speaker 3: that's a lot about the filter.
Speaker 1: How would you know?
Speaker 2: I mean, you could just do a filter and then
Speaker 2: you have a facelift every day you never left your house.
Speaker 2: You could just do everything in a filter and it
Speaker 2: would be you don't have to do the surgery.
Speaker 3: I know you really, you really literally would not have
Speaker 3: you know, let's talk.
Speaker 2: About this jen Aden scenario. She's got I think she's Turkish,
Speaker 2: she's got this. She's got her mother, her old fashioned
Speaker 2: mother who her and her father and siblings are kind
Speaker 2: of talking about. And the father's moved in and they're
Speaker 2: all trashing this mom. But I'm just thinking about on TV, like,
Speaker 2: you know, talking about the mom and having the dad
Speaker 2: move in.
Speaker 1: It just seemed like a little cringey.
Speaker 3: I know, I found myself thinking, well, dear God, I
Speaker 3: hope they're not watching.
Speaker 1: Right, like, yeah, like, what's the upside of this?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: I feel I feel like she tried to make it
Speaker 3: like put a button on it by saying, no matter what,
Speaker 3: all of my mother or in every relationship with all
Speaker 3: of our mothers is strained. But yeah, it wasn't necessarily
Speaker 3: a good look. I mean, I don't know, because you
Speaker 3: would know you're of the reality ilk, but like how
Speaker 3: much of that is talking about in advance or or
Speaker 3: sometimes if there's nothing nothing going on? Is that just like.
Speaker 1: Almost like.
Speaker 2: A character needs to have something going on and a story,
Speaker 2: and so Britans just sit down and ask what's going
Speaker 2: on in your life? And they might see what's going
Speaker 2: on in the house and the father's living there, and
Speaker 2: then she says, my father's living here, and then they're
Speaker 2: probably like, well, we have to go into that because
Speaker 2: your father's living here.
Speaker 3: But they it's not a little like that to me,
Speaker 3: Like it wasn't like a lot, but it was almost
Speaker 3: like making it something. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yes, I agree, it's funny because jen Aiden's husband is
Speaker 2: a doctor. I think he's a plastic surgeon. It's funny
Speaker 2: he parties with those other guys a lot, and it
Speaker 2: just it seems like they're always giving him shots and
Speaker 2: he's always hung over, and it just seems like he's
Speaker 2: adhering to peer pressure on a reality show. But as
Speaker 2: an adult, it just always seems like these it's sort
Speaker 2: of funny but it's ridiculous. These other guys are kind
Speaker 2: of always corrupting him because he doesn't seem to fit
Speaker 2: in with this group, which is an example of what
Speaker 2: happens like you make show friends.
Speaker 3: Mm well, speaking of being adults, I mean, this is
Speaker 3: probably like I watched you know, the party scene, the
Speaker 3: birthday scene, and the drinking and the shit talking and
Speaker 3: you know, the planting of the maybe this affair and
Speaker 3: all this stuff, and I was just like, are these
Speaker 3: people grown ass people?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: Like, for me, yeah, this is insane. I'm just like
Speaker 3: I did that when I was sixteen and barely did
Speaker 3: it at sixt eighteen, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Just partying, like the partying, like the planes going yeah,
Speaker 2: like the yeah, the just I.
Speaker 3: Mean, I know that's what reality television is supposed to be,
Speaker 3: and I know that that's the drama and the juice
Speaker 3: and the tea and all that, but I'm just like,
Speaker 3: these are grown ass people with children, you know what.
Speaker 2: I'm like, You're just a definite breed. I'm a homebody.
Speaker 2: It sounds like you're a harm but homebody totally.
Speaker 3: I brought my meditation and my hot yoga, which, by
Speaker 3: the way, I mean just a little juice for you,
Speaker 3: which is completely ironic that we are speaking and that
Speaker 3: I'm even talking about the Housewives, because I never really
Speaker 3: really watched a night Like I said, I'm boring. I'm
Speaker 3: not like throwing tables and getting drunken public or anything.
Speaker 3: But two a year ago, the Housewives Beverly Hills contacted me,
Speaker 3: and so I went through a whole series of technically
Speaker 3: auditions to be on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Speaker 3: Little juice spread and at the time, I was just like,
Speaker 3: why would they I am so not of the breed,
Speaker 3: you know, I don't think you know, I'm like I
Speaker 3: would be the super like on the matt reading meditations,
Speaker 3: journaling with people type of character. But it was funny,
Speaker 3: I it was. It was interesting for me to consender.
Speaker 3: I was tempted because, as you well know, I mean,
Speaker 3: it's like, you know, it's that type of positioning could
Speaker 3: help anyone's career or further or all the things I
Speaker 3: did want that maybe aren't on that show. I could
Speaker 3: probably you know, further and develop and grow because of
Speaker 3: having that type of platform. So yes, I was tempted,
Speaker 3: but I thought, I just don't know how I would.
Speaker 3: And by the way, some of those women I do
Speaker 3: know probably the best, just because we're all in LA
Speaker 3: and are friends of mine but not friends, but you know,
Speaker 3: friends LA friends. And I was tempted, but it didn't
Speaker 3: work out in the end anyway. Maybe that's why, because
Speaker 3: they're like, well, she's gonna be way too safe and
Speaker 3: not nearly entertaining enough.
Speaker 1: And you want to know what, I'll tell you something.
Speaker 2: There are girls that in thinking about everything I'm going
Speaker 2: through right now, which I'll talk about separately also on
Speaker 2: this podcast I'm having, I'm doing a lot of reflecting,
Speaker 2: and I'm thinking about my participation in the toxicity in
Speaker 2: certain areas things I just said anecdotally about people on
Speaker 2: my show and other casts, like informer blogs we used
Speaker 2: to do or when Pride and I'm watching What Happens
Speaker 2: Live and things that were not nice, and that is
Speaker 2: the nature of that genre. And I bring this up
Speaker 2: because people like Kristin Takman, who I met on the show,
Speaker 2: or Tinsley who I met on the show, are actually
Speaker 2: really lovely people, and I got into it a lot
Speaker 2: with them on the show because they're not great housewives.
Speaker 2: Because they're not they weren't maybe raised by animals and
Speaker 2: ready to like go to battle in a way that
Speaker 2: I'm capable of.
Speaker 1: You know, they they're maybe not.
Speaker 2: They may not always jump off the page and have
Speaker 2: the funniest, immediate, snarky quick comment like a professional like
Speaker 2: sniper like I am. And sometimes and sometimes with people
Speaker 2: like that, I didn't really connect with them because we
Speaker 2: were on a battlefield, but like there was no time
Speaker 2: for like normalcy and friendship. And I'm doing a lot
Speaker 2: of reflecting about that because it's very relevant. It is
Speaker 2: a little mean girls, and it is very high school
Speaker 2: in the sense that I've seen other shows, other housewives shows,
Speaker 2: and I've seen people that, in my opinion and for
Speaker 2: my judgmental standards, have done some sleazy, trashy things in
Speaker 2: their lives right, and then they've been murdered for it
Speaker 2: and they've had to live it down forever. And I've
Speaker 2: been part of that entire sphere that judge that because
Speaker 2: action the viewers too. Just like we're in high school.
Speaker 2: If someone in my high school slept with six guys,
Speaker 2: I probably would have thought and said they were a slut. Okay,
Speaker 2: And as an adult now who has a daughter, the
Speaker 2: slut which is a terrible word has parents who are
Speaker 2: watching people say mean things because of whatever choices that
Speaker 2: child made.
Speaker 1: I could cry.
Speaker 2: And I'm thinking about housewives and bad decisions and where
Speaker 2: the line is and how it's ruined their lives when
Speaker 2: people have found out things about them that and ruined
Speaker 2: their lives. And I've been part of that entire atmosphere, thinking, saying, judging,
Speaker 2: being asked about it. I'm watching it happens live like
Speaker 2: some anecdotal comment, and it's really hurt a lot of people,
Speaker 2: not just me, the whole medium. And there is a line.
Speaker 2: It's been entirely crossed. And you know, someone asked me
Speaker 2: the other day if this is my penance. It was
Speaker 2: not intentionally my penance, but in being manic in my
Speaker 2: house this morning and cleaning out like five bags of
Speaker 2: clothes as if it was like some weird obsession because
Speaker 2: I'm like not dealing with what I really need to
Speaker 2: be dealing with. Yeah, I said to this reporter, I
Speaker 2: think it might be my penance. So I say that
Speaker 2: to you as somebody who I don't think would necessarily
Speaker 2: be a good housewife, and that's probably a good thing.
Speaker 3: Well, it's all I know. It is a good thing
Speaker 3: because all I know at this age of and with
Speaker 3: all I've learned and the wisdom I've I guess gained,
Speaker 3: and the beauty of aging is I know myself better
Speaker 3: than I've ever known myself, and I wouldn't. I could
Speaker 3: not fake the funk, nor would I want to. What
Speaker 3: that would do to my energy, my spirit, And it's
Speaker 3: just not worth it. It's not worth it for a paycheck.
Speaker 3: No thank you now.
Speaker 2: No knowing that you were tempted says what the whole
Speaker 2: thing is meaning? You want to be more successful. I'm
Speaker 2: sure you want to make more money. You want to,
Speaker 2: you know, and you would go on and if you
Speaker 2: were doing really well, you might end up on anti
Speaker 2: anxiety medication, which many housewives do, and you might realize
Speaker 2: you had a great season because you had it going good,
Speaker 2: and then the next season, because it's a zero sum games,
Speaker 2: someone has to take you down. So someone's always winning,
Speaker 2: someone's always losing, someone's always killing, and someone's always getting killed.
Speaker 2: So I've definitely been part of that.
Speaker 3: That sounds like my absolute worst nightmare, right There couldn't
Speaker 3: be anything that would hurt more. It just sounds. It
Speaker 3: sounds excruciating. How do you survive that, like, how.
Speaker 2: Do you millions of dollars and going in there with
Speaker 2: eight thousand dollars in my bank account to my name,
Speaker 2: growing up in a very abusive household and environment and
Speaker 2: at the racetrack being a survivor, living the hunger games,
Speaker 2: being in nightclubs at thirteen years old, doing very terrible
Speaker 2: things that I shouldn't be doing. That I would die
Speaker 2: if my daughter was doing. I was raised like an animal,
Speaker 2: So how did I do it? That's out because that's
Speaker 2: what I you know, when I was broke and I
Speaker 2: was going to the top. But am I proud of
Speaker 2: my entire involvement at this time moment in time?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: No, But you know, well, it's like what you mentioned.
Speaker 3: It can change people's lives. It can ruin people's lives,
Speaker 3: it can end their careers. Like the consequences like, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's the risk. People gamble, You get in and then look.
Speaker 2: What happens and can happen to people within It's no
Speaker 2: different than what I'm saying. Within an episode or a season,
Speaker 2: it's kill or be killed, and someone's always winning or losing.
Speaker 1: Within the entire.
Speaker 2: Sphere and game, it's also someone's always winning and losing.
Speaker 2: Arianna is winning. That girl over Keel is fully losing.
Speaker 2: This one's winning, the other one's fully losing, and it
Speaker 2: affects their entire life. And both Arianna and Raquel have
Speaker 2: parents that have to watch whatever.
Speaker 1: This rollercoaster is so.
Speaker 3: Anxiety hearing you talk about this. No wonder, I I mean, like.
Speaker 2: Ter never look back, don't worry, You're better for so
Speaker 2: all right, So now we're at this guy's birthday. Now,
Speaker 2: this poor guy's birthday. Now, I don't really care if
Speaker 2: he's cheated or hasn't cheated.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: They have four kids too, And I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 2: I had never seen it. I couldn't believe it. And
Speaker 2: in many cases I've been teamed Teresa, but not based
Speaker 2: on watching the show, based on just like a mother
Speaker 2: went to jail, like came back. She's honest about who
Speaker 2: she is. She's a fighter, survivor. Like it's kind of
Speaker 2: just like what I've what I think I know. I
Speaker 2: haven't watched that much of Housewives. I've watched individual episodes
Speaker 2: for the show, and just throughout my life, I've never
Speaker 2: been dedicated. So that was pretty horrendous. Like that's as
Speaker 2: bad as I've ever seen, And I don't care what
Speaker 2: the girl did to her at this point, I don't care.
Speaker 2: I can't believe she walked through someone's birthday party that
Speaker 2: she was attending and spread a rumor like that's really bad.
Speaker 2: That's that was disgusting.
Speaker 3: I was despicable. It's despicable. And I've been in that
Speaker 3: situation where we've heard something that's going on in you know,
Speaker 3: about a friend or a friend's partner and the cheating
Speaker 3: room or whatever. There were twenty five other ways she
Speaker 3: could have went about this. Then to go do that
Speaker 3: behind her back at a night where they're celebrating, like
Speaker 3: dropping that little rumor in every little at every corner
Speaker 3: of that party that she could it was really That's
Speaker 3: when I was just like, can this be real? Or
Speaker 3: is this reality television? Because that was a terrible, terrible decision.
Speaker 3: And then when they do confront one another about her,
Speaker 3: when Jackie confronts Teresa and then uses the analogy that
Speaker 3: it's like Jackie's spreading a rumor about Teresa's daughter doing
Speaker 3: cocaine in the bathroom at school or something and telling
Speaker 3: everybody but her, and then Teresa loses her and calls her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't justified at all, Teresa, no argument. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she was using an analogy saying it would be like
Speaker 2: me saying yes, And it was smart of her to
Speaker 2: say that, and yeah, of course yeah, and then for
Speaker 2: her to get crazy that just that was nuts. But
Speaker 2: the thing is to answer your question how it goes down.
Speaker 2: And this is why this whole sphere of is it
Speaker 2: real and what is reality is going to come crashing
Speaker 2: down like a house of cards, because.
Speaker 1: What is it reality?
Speaker 2: That Teresa said to a producer and maybe a friend,
Speaker 2: something that she heard from one person, Yeah, that's reality.
Speaker 2: In her life, she's working on a reality show with
Speaker 2: people she's friends with, not friends with, has alliances because
Speaker 2: of television, and she has producers at her house all
Speaker 2: the time. There's tape up on the walls because they
Speaker 2: have cameras all the time. So she told a friend
Speaker 2: and maybe a friend told the producer. Because it's always
Speaker 2: killing or being killed. There's always if there's new meat,
Speaker 2: new content, someone wants to bring it to the forefront.
Speaker 2: No one can happen without bringing it to the forefront.
Speaker 2: So no, that's not real, because in your real life
Speaker 2: there are a lot of things you know and have heard,
Speaker 2: and you don't bring it to the forefront.
Speaker 1: So a producer has.
Speaker 2: A meeting with her and then is in the car
Speaker 2: with her and before she gets Mike to go into
Speaker 2: a scene, and one hundred percent said, are you going
Speaker 2: to mention what you heard from?
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah and a.
Speaker 2: Not that intelligent house, So I doesn't make choices for
Speaker 2: themselves and goes in like a robot and delivers, you know,
Speaker 2: messages that they're told from producers. So she went in
Speaker 2: and she also was drunk. You're drinking a lot of alcohol,
Speaker 2: which I also am starting to have a problem with.
Speaker 2: Where's the line when producers will say this person cannot
Speaker 2: be served anymore. We're in a workplace that's going to
Speaker 2: come out too. Yes, everyone can drink, it's real life.
Speaker 2: But the cameras add thirst they want. They make drinking
Speaker 2: seem like a very good idea.
Speaker 1: I've been there.
Speaker 2: I don't I'm not a massive drinker, but you feel
Speaker 2: like you're adrenaline so high, you're so stressed out. You
Speaker 2: got cameras, and it's a good idea of pound drinks just.
Speaker 3: Games, so you know you're you could be killed at
Speaker 3: any moment.
Speaker 2: You'reas you're stressed out and you're not drinking a lot
Speaker 2: of water, and you drink more and no housewife will disagree,
Speaker 2: okay none. No one's forcing you to drink alcohol like
Speaker 2: they say. I've said that publicly about a Viva dresser.
Speaker 2: No one's flying you alcohol. But who's holding back from
Speaker 2: what's not correct in the workplace? So people get excited
Speaker 2: on reality TV the more people get wasted. They get
Speaker 2: excited if somebody goes off the wagon uses drugs as
Speaker 2: a rumor, everything bad is good in the upside down.
Speaker 2: So this so Teresa goes and thinks it's a good
Speaker 2: idea to get this out into the forefront. And it
Speaker 2: is good in reality TV because it's horrendous and it
Speaker 2: means we can do twelve scenes coming off of that.
Speaker 2: And I've been part of it and I've been the
Speaker 2: ringleader in it, so just so you know, but it
Speaker 2: was really not It was not great, and I'm a
Speaker 2: hypocrite for saying it. But this is the episode that
Speaker 2: I'm watching, and this is what I.
Speaker 3: Think, well, because everybody in I think with any kind
Speaker 3: of reasonable judgment and morality when we're not on a
Speaker 3: reality show, if one hears that about their friend's boyfriend husband, whatever,
Speaker 3: What do you do? Two things? One you're considering do
Speaker 3: I say anything at all? Because is it just a rumor?
Speaker 3: Or are there seats that I can actually back this up?
Speaker 3: And two you go to the friend. You don't go
Speaker 3: to strangers in a party. You don't go call on somebody.
Speaker 3: You don't send out a group text to everyone you
Speaker 3: know other than your friend. You go to your friend.
Speaker 2: Yes, and yeah, I don't think it's her friend, it's
Speaker 2: her showfriend, which also isn't real. It's a show structure
Speaker 2: where you put with other people. So many times these
Speaker 2: reality shows make people film and say you can't leave,
Speaker 2: and it's called because how can you make someone film
Speaker 2: their life? Like?
Speaker 1: That's not real?
Speaker 2: No one can come to my house today and put
Speaker 2: a CA So you sign up for something that may
Speaker 2: not be may not seem as intense as it's going
Speaker 2: to be. And so and then Melissa said it best
Speaker 2: when she said, can we just rewind? Like she wants
Speaker 2: to rewind the occurrence the faces that everyone's making, Margaret,
Speaker 2: everyone they're a guest. It's just it's it's outrageous that
Speaker 2: it went on. It didn't make for an entertaining show.
Speaker 2: I will say that it did make for an entertainer
Speaker 2: show one hundred percent. And then Joe, Melissa's husband is like, yeah,
Speaker 2: he's a good looking guy. Like as him being a
Speaker 2: good looking guy and anything to do having an affair.
Speaker 3: That's hired me so much. I'm like, and is as
Speaker 3: if she's not a good looking woman who deserves a
Speaker 3: faithful husband.
Speaker 1: I don't understand that at all.
Speaker 2: And it's funny because sometimes Paul will say with me
Speaker 2: about we're having a dispute, and he'll say to me,
Speaker 2: it wasn't the message, it was the messaging. Like I
Speaker 2: the messaging in this was so bad. I don't even
Speaker 2: care what this man chooses to do with his personal life.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter to me.
Speaker 2: It was this is so disrespectful at his birthday party,
Speaker 2: and how embarrassing too to see him and her and
Speaker 2: I love you and amazing and she's having the best
Speaker 2: night of her life and she's in her interview saying
Speaker 2: how amazing is And that's the number one thing that
Speaker 2: people hate about an affair, not even the act, but
Speaker 2: feeling like the fool.
Speaker 3: The fool, right, Yes, that's it. That's the worst, not
Speaker 3: knowing the secrets, the deceit, the deceit because you feel
Speaker 3: like such an idiot.
Speaker 1: And everybody else knew and it's taught.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you're the village idiot totally.
Speaker 3: So been there last relationship.
Speaker 2: But wow, gods is like this was like design for you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you feel like the idiot fool.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's I mean, listen, there is such
Speaker 3: a thing. I don't know if it's happily ever after.
Speaker 3: I'm in the healthiest relationship right now that I've ever
Speaker 3: been into my adult life. But my ex and I've
Speaker 3: spoken about this on my podcast and he knows it.
Speaker 3: And but he I was. He was a chronic serial
Speaker 3: cheater and I learned. I learned the biggest life lesson
Speaker 3: truly of my forty eight years through that relationship. And
Speaker 3: it hurt and it sucked. And do you know how
Speaker 3: many dms bephany I got from other women like, uh,
Speaker 3: are you still with that guy because he's boning my friend?
Speaker 3: I mean, like whole day long. It was devastating and hurtful,
Speaker 3: and then you lose your s of self and then
Speaker 3: you're walking on eggshells and then you're gas lits. So
Speaker 3: many times you don't know what the truth is, what
Speaker 3: the lies are. I was in that kind of relations
Speaker 3: show that and so I get it. I know that
Speaker 3: feeling of just betrayal. It's like the it's the worst, worst,
Speaker 3: worst feeling, and then you and then you can only
Speaker 3: blame that person and point the finger so long before
Speaker 3: you have to point the finger at yourself and go,
Speaker 3: why why am I staying? What is my part? How
Speaker 3: have I contributed? Like? Why why did I allow that?
Speaker 3: I knew the truth? You know, I allowed it one
Speaker 3: too many times. So I had a lot of healing
Speaker 3: to do from that. Yes, exactly, yeah, I had.
Speaker 2: There was a woman on New York Housewives and I
Speaker 2: brought in to the show the fact, and I was
Speaker 2: very upset to do it, and she wasn't a good
Speaker 2: friend of mine, which I was, I admitted, but she
Speaker 2: wasn't not on the show with me, and it was
Speaker 2: sort of my responsibility, and I did bring it into
Speaker 2: the show. There was a man that she was with
Speaker 2: that she was about to marry, and I thought he
Speaker 2: was terrible. So it's a little bit of a different circumstance.
Speaker 2: And someone married for years, loves him and has four kids,
Speaker 2: someone is about to marry someone who everyone knows is
Speaker 2: a cheater and not a great guy. And I brought
Speaker 2: it into the show, and I still it came back
Speaker 2: like a boomerang, and I still felt bad about it
Speaker 2: because she ended up marrying him, and she was one
Speaker 2: of the women that doesn't want to know. And so
Speaker 2: I realized there are women that don't want to know
Speaker 2: and a woman who and I'm not saying the guy
Speaker 2: did anything. I don't know a thing about this man,
Speaker 2: but a woman of four children who's happy certainly doesn't
Speaker 2: want to know.
Speaker 3: No, No, it's so funny you bring that up because,
Speaker 3: oh god, I'm saying probably more than I should. But
Speaker 3: when my last partner went on to get in another relationship,
Speaker 3: people are like, oh, man, do you think she knows?
Speaker 3: Like once you're you know, a leopard doesn't change his stripes,
Speaker 3: Like is she just going to be the next person
Speaker 3: dealing with this type of devastation or whatever? And my
Speaker 3: yoga self is over here going, oh, people change, like
Speaker 3: I really do. Do you wish everybody the best? I
Speaker 3: wish I've win the best. It doesn't It doesn't behoove
Speaker 3: me to wish people misery and pain, right, But I'm
Speaker 3: like you know, people do change, maybe changed, maybe they're
Speaker 3: you know, she's the perfect fit for him and good
Speaker 3: for them, happily ever after whatever. But then it's also,
Speaker 3: like I said, the same thing I said, also, maybe
Speaker 3: maybe she's that type of woman who's like maybe they
Speaker 3: haven't don't put a relationship right, I know, maybe like
Speaker 3: she's like down with like three simes, or maybe she's
Speaker 3: fulfilling that need that he never received with perhaps me
Speaker 3: or other women. So you just don't know what's going
Speaker 3: on within people.
Speaker 1: No, exactly.
Speaker 2: Most women have some sense of something and they choose
Speaker 2: their own adventure. But that's the thing about back to
Speaker 2: being on a reality show, and I'm with you that
Speaker 2: I think it was entire I think she handled herself
Speaker 2: with grace.
Speaker 1: I really do.
Speaker 2: She didn't go crazy, which I would have gone crazy,
Speaker 2: and she was very civilized, and she was very embarrassed,
Speaker 2: and she was honest about being embarrassed, and she was like,
Speaker 2: please just retract this, Like she was really very dignified
Speaker 2: in my opinion, in that scenario. And then Teresa acted
Speaker 2: in a way as if she Teresa. Actually I never
Speaker 2: knew the word gas lip back in the day, and
Speaker 2: it's overused, but it's used properly here in that Teresa
Speaker 2: was gaslighting her by projecting the fact that she had
Speaker 2: just said something about Teresa's daughter like you're a piece
Speaker 2: of shit, Like I mean, Jackie was entirely justified in
Speaker 2: saying it would be like me hearing a rumor about
Speaker 2: your daughter and saying and it really hit close to
Speaker 2: home for Teresa.
Speaker 3: I also think she knew she was so in the
Speaker 3: wrong already that it just gave her a reason to
Speaker 3: eject herself from the whole thing. That's kind I think
Speaker 3: she was just like, oh, okay, fine, I'm gonna get
Speaker 3: so pissed about this and just leave. It appeared to
Speaker 3: me like she that gave her some type of ammunition
Speaker 3: to justify leaving the conversation.
Speaker 1: When was the ultimate turnaround? Yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 2: So it's funny because I've been having this fleeting thought
Speaker 2: of like, should I be doing this show anymore? Because
Speaker 2: I'm coming so heavily against this entire genre, not just
Speaker 2: of this show, but other shows and just a genre
Speaker 2: of mistreatment in a very new medium in the world
Speaker 2: compared to television and film and all this. And then
Speaker 2: I have conversations like this and I realized why I
Speaker 2: am doing it, and I like this show because we're
Speaker 2: utilizing it as a vehicle. We're not trashing bashing, like
Speaker 2: we're actually understanding people that have been portrayed badly on
Speaker 2: these shows. So I love doing it and you are
Speaker 2: so perfect to do it with because you attribute it
Speaker 2: to your own life, which I'm sure you never thought
Speaker 2: you'd be doing.
Speaker 3: No. But at the end of the day, I mean,
Speaker 3: I love women, I just do. That's why I enjoyed
Speaker 3: watching this episode. Was reminded of how firstly funny a
Speaker 3: lot of it was for me. I giggled a lot.
Speaker 3: I like, you know, when you're talking back at an
Speaker 3: episode or a TV show, you know it's a good one.
Speaker 3: But like, I do have compassion for everybody, and I
Speaker 3: just I felt compassion for Jackie in that situation, you know,
Speaker 3: like talking shit at Teresa. Sorry, not sorry Teresa. You know,
Speaker 3: but but I think you know, we all, you know,
Speaker 3: it's kind of the beauty of life, Like we're all
Speaker 3: just living our own journey, but it's nice to dip
Speaker 3: into other people's journeys and it's it's fun.
Speaker 2: Well, you were amazing, I mean really amazing. You look beautiful.
Speaker 2: I'm so happy you're in a beautiful relationship in a
Speaker 2: beautiful place. And I'm happy you didn't do the Housewives
Speaker 2: because it would somehow swallow you up and spit you out.
Speaker 2: And the risk is too great at a place in
Speaker 2: your life where you are now middle aged and you
Speaker 2: are happy, the risk is too great. Look, you know
Speaker 2: Kathy Hilton left. She did not need that. So I
Speaker 2: think everything happened.
Speaker 1: For a reason. I appreciate you coming and talking.
Speaker 3: About it, Bethany. I really am a fan of yours
Speaker 3: and I love what you put into the world and
Speaker 3: you you you have a communication style I will never
Speaker 3: ever have you just so like your opinion, Like you're
Speaker 3: just so interesting and raw, and you don't think before
Speaker 3: you speak, but you're so good at it, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, Like you don't need to and I
Speaker 3: love what you do as an activist, and I love
Speaker 3: that you are in the middle of this important conversation
Speaker 3: during the strike and who knows what's going to happen
Speaker 3: with all that, But like we need people like you,
Speaker 3: and so you should come on my podcast sometime. I'd
Speaker 3: love to talk with you about some of the these important,
Speaker 3: deep issues.
Speaker 1: I think it would be great, perfect, wonderful.
Speaker 3: And how you've changed, Like I love hearing you say
Speaker 3: about your own evolution and looking back and you know,
Speaker 3: reflecting on what those shows meant to you, you know
Speaker 3: at that time in your life, and how we all are,
Speaker 3: you know, shedding different versions of ourselves and end up
Speaker 3: you know anew and maybe that's you know where you
Speaker 3: are right now. So I don't know, but I like
Speaker 3: to get into it with you.
Speaker 1: Amazing love to thank you so much, Kat, thank you.
Speaker 1: I have a great day.