WEBVTT - Dear God, Please Don't Let Her Be a Basic Bitch Feat. Scary Mommy Speaks 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:31.040 Sounds like. 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:37.440 Sorry, when you build mom. 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:43.240 We're healthy. 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:47.279 Welcome back to good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:52.479 I'm Mila and we're in New York. Bitch, you, what's up? 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:54.040 What's going on? 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:54.640 You're late? 0:00:56.880 --> 0:00:59.440 I am late? You know what I thought all week? 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:01.400 And I was, I love New York. 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:03.760 I love Brooklyn. Look how the sun is setting on 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:07.360 the Brownstones. I'm going to move here. And then this morning, 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:11.479 when as I'm making my way to this very important 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:16.679 recording in fucking still like heels and I'm drunk still 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:20.280 and it's bright and it's hot and I'm wearing a 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:22.880 long sleeve shirt, I said, bitch, you can't even make 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:25.399 it on time in your own car. You can't move 0:01:25.440 --> 0:01:25.960 to New York. 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:30.720 You're not allowed. I was like, Eric's gonna be so 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:36.559 mad at me. Yeah, so New York has been fun. 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:40.720 I feel like every time I come here I do 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:44.360 too much, Like I act like a child. So that's 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:48.200 what I'm doing right now, being very irresponsible, making bad choices. 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:50.200 And what we're childless right now? 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:53.280 Oh yeah, that's what it is. It's the childlessness. I 0:01:53.400 --> 0:01:55.720 revert to my old self. 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:57.280 How was your weekend? 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:04.080 My weekend, was great too. I spent the weekend in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:06.000 Oh yeah, I came. I came and saw you there. Well, 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:06.880 I came with you yet. 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:13.640 I have a house there, my mom's house. My mom's 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:18.639 house there, and I spent time there with my R 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:19.160 and b Bay. 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:20.919 Oh yeah, how was that? 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:22.519 It was interesting? 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:23.400 Oh? 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:26.760 I don't know, I don't like that face way interesting 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:29.240 good because the vibrating, the vibrating mouth. 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:30.920 I felt it would be like a great weekend. 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:33.960 That was still the thing, But I don't know, it 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:35.799 was just weird. I'm over. I'm just done. I just 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:38.600 joined Hinge today. You joined hint, Yeah, I joined Hinge 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:41.320 on the way here. Anyway, I want to introduce these 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:42.839 two ladies that we have here. We can talk about 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.160 Hinge and all that shit and my really whack profile 0:02:45.160 --> 0:02:47.919 because Hinge is really intimidating. I'm like, am I witty enough? 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:52.680 I don't fucking know. We are here with Scary Mommy Speaks. 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:54.440 We have Carrie and Ashley here. 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:58.680 Hi, Hi, We're excited to be here. 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:01.560 Yes, we are so excited. I've actually been following Scary 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:05.360 Mommy for a while. I fucking love Scary Mommy. Paige 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:06.840 if you guys haven't checked it out, make sure you 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:09.320 go check out at Scary Mommy. They just keep it 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:12.079 all the way real. Their memes are fucking hilarious. They 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:15.520 just like you guys know if you if you follow us, 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:18.960 you'll understand Scary Mommy because they just they're just real. 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:21.600 This this mom shit is is fun. 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:25.720 It's the realistic approach. You know, there's no everything's perfect. 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:26.880 I hate those people. 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:29.440 Can we can we talk for a second. My husband 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:32.920 is from right around Bethlehem or from Easton Okay, yeah, yeah, 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:36.440 So where did you go? Where were you frequenting this weekend? 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:43.040 So my place, I think, yea, she has a weekend 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:44.680 away from Mercadi and she was like, let's go to 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:46.720 what place? 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:49.680 Oh, Sesame Street, theme Park, Disney World. 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:50.880 But of Sesame Street. 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:52.880 I'm actually gonna go. And my daughter is in the 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:55.640 vicinity of the East Coast. She's in Philadelphia with my 0:03:55.720 --> 0:03:58.280 dad and my grandmother. And that's my because I remember 0:03:58.320 --> 0:03:59.560 going as a child like one time. 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:03.480 It was Yeah, I never was really to Same Street. 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:11.280 I know I was iri my daughter. Yeah, god, the Judgment. 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:13.320 Street. 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:16.080 I didn't know there was a Sesame Street. No, But 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:21.279 so basically my My main job is I work for 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:25.000 Beauty Brandon. We are are main headquarters is in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:29.239 It's very random, and so my mom is always traveling 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:30.960 there and so she bought a house there and it's 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:32.680 it's really nice. It's like kind of off in the 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:35.120 woods and it's kind of like a little getaway and 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:37.359 I never like take advantage of it. 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:38.400 And I already there. 0:04:38.520 --> 0:04:40.359 Yeah, so I was like, I could come to the city, 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:42.400 but maybe, like, let me just chill out here. 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:44.039 And you didn't go to the sands. 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:46.960 I've been there, but no I didn't. I literally like 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:48.400 maybe left the house twice. 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:52.000 Let me let me give you the real really happened. 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:58.760 Has a Bay an R and B Bay And for 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:01.880 a week She's like, no, for months before this, it's 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:05.480 not months. She was like, I just want to go 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:08.599 somewhere like some are isolated and strange. 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:10.760 I did like a staycation. 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:14.000 With someone, you know, sexication, like something romantic, and I 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:16.359 was like, Okay, that sounds actually kind of cool. So 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:18.920 she was like looking for all these cool weird arabianbs 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:19.760 and strange places. 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:21.039 Colorado, Yeah, I. 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:22.440 Like Colorado sounds nice. 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:32.720 Yeah, So she finally she settles on her mom's. 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:31.720 In Beslaham. 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:36.080 She's like, oh, by the way, Imbba is going to 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:37.159 meet me in Bethlehem. 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:41.240 And I'm like, oh okay, Like baby. 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:43.840 He was already in New York, so just take the 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:44.360 bus down. 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:47.560 So then she begs me to come one night. She's like, 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:49.839 I'm I getting scared to stay by myself. 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:52.359 He doesn't get there till tomorrow, so I'm like, okay, 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:54.080 I guess, like just pick me up and fill it, 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:54.320 you know. 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.120 I'm like, okay, we can just get drunk and bethl Ham. 0:05:57.160 --> 0:06:00.760 I don't know. But then the bitch is like, but 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:03.080 he's coming. He's coming like twelve, so you have to 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:07.960 get out down the fucking Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. But you also 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:10.599 want me to get out at noon, like it's like 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:12.000 a hotel you wait. 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:14.000 So then I get in the car to go and 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:17.479 she's like, oh, actually I gave him options, so like, 0:06:17.560 --> 0:06:19.040 I doubt he'll get on the seven a m. 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:19.479 Train. 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:22.599 But you know what happens. We go get drunk and 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:24.839 tucking Bethlehem. And then the next morning, for some reason, 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:26.000 I'm up at six point thirty and I hear her 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:27.080 phone ringing from the other room. 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:30.919 I'm like, that motherfucker got on that seven a train. 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:34.560 Sure enough. She's like, so only for. 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:36.920 Pussy man, get on a seven am train. 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:39.440 And not only for dick. Will your best friend kicking 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:40.760 out of her house? 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:43.719 I did? In my defense, I said you don't have. 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:45.640 To leave after she already said I'm so. 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:48.080 I was hoping she would leave, but I just felt 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:49.320 like I had to say that. Like I was like, 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:51.280 you know, like if you have to stay, we can 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:53.920 figure something out. There's other rooms here. Leave. 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.080 I feel like I know I ventured a new phase 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:58.440 of my life because nothing is worth me getting on 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:03.640 a seven am train thing unless it's like is opening up. 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:06.560 You gave me a bunch of money. 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:10.520 Money. Money, that's it. Money, that's about it. Well, you 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:13.560 guys are in committed relationships. We are not, So we 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:15.160 got to do. I get it. We're trying to get 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:16.200 to you. We're trying to get to where you. 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:18.640 I mean, I'm still living in sin, but it's committed, 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:19.280 it's committed. 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:22.640 It's committed. I really like that committed sin. I just 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:25.280 want to be committed sin. That's my goal. 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:30.120 Yeah. Yeah, my weekend was fine. It was fine, okay, 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:31.040 great fine. 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:32.720 Speaking of committed sin. 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:38.600 Since we're sinning and ship, I know you ladies both 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:39.720 have children. 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:42.120 A little younger than ours. 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:44.800 I was gonna say much younger, but that's because we've 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:46.360 had like two years of free time, and so I 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:47.440 feel like I can brag. 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:50.480 That's I'm so excited I've heard about Can. 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:52.520 You tell us about your kids? Tell us about you 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:55.320 guys where we have each other? 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:59.040 We have daughter name in comment? Oh yeah, so my 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:01.240 daughter's Luna. Sorry, I didn't mean to be like, jump 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:03.280 on that ship. I mean jump on that dying to 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:05.760 hear how why you decided to name your daughter Luna? 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:08.760 I mean, if you care. 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:10.720 To tell it sounds super stupid and hippie. 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:11.880 Oh mine is even stupid. 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:13.920 I've just met your mat. 0:08:15.320 --> 0:08:21.760 So I'm a cancer, and cancers are considered moon children moonchild. 0:08:21.760 --> 0:08:24.160 They always refer to cancers as moonchild. So I have 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:26.600 like a strange obsession with the moon and how the 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:30.080 moon affects the ocean and the vibrations and like, you know, 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.680 it's powerful and ship and I was like, oh, yeah, Luna, 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:33.800 that's gonna be my daughter's name. 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:34.800 That's hot, yeah. 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:43.480 Hot, that was your hot process. Okay, so hot? 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:46.080 I mean I don't know if I met hot. I 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:48.560 just thought it was cool. Yeah, I was cool. I 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:51.480 thought it was I don't know, like the name, Yeah's 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:52.800 Latin English. 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:57.000 It's a beautiful name. There's like the same reasoning for me. 0:08:57.200 --> 0:08:57.400 No. 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:00.160 No, So my partner's last name is Mars, that's his 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:04.120 real name. So we were we were having a hard 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:06.120 time figuring out like what to put with that. 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:07.400 So we were joking. 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:07.920 I was like. 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:11.720 Plune o Mar missioned to Mars, Brune Omar, and we 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:13.439 were just like, name me all these things. And then 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:16.280 in that joke we were I was like Luna and 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.880 we were like and then the next morning we both 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:21.840 woke up and we're like that actually sounds awesome. 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:24.439 And then we conceived on the full moon. 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:26.000 It was a triple mood. I got to talk about 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:29.040 hippie I was, I was fertile, and I looked at him. 0:09:29.040 --> 0:09:30.760 I was like, because I call myself a witch and 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:33.160 I was like hey, I was like, hey, you want 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:35.200 to make some witchy love on this triple moon? Because 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:38.400 it was like a full moon, strawberry moon. I forget 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:40.240 all the moons it was, but it's like a triple moon. 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:41.680 I think I remember this mood. 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:46.040 It was remember crazy triple moon, Remember this moon? 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.400 And I was I was like, I'm fertile on the 0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:53.080 triple Moon. Let's make a witch. And so we decided we. 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:54.640 Would name her Luna Mars because we're. 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:58.040 Like, I'm kind of jealous. Your last name is Mars. 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:00.120 No my last name, but I don't have that the 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:00.920 last name, but he has that. 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:04.040 Let you guys, are you married? Do you want to 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:04.480 get married? 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:09.480 I mean maybe someday. It's like a conversation that we have. 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.960 Mostly I don't want my daughter to feel like her 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:15.840 parents aren't together, and I don't think that marriage means 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:16.920 that you're together. 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:18.719 I mean, my parents are married and got divorced. 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:21.600 So it's not like that means any But it wasn't 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:23.640 a priority because I'm older, he's older. So we were like, 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:26.040 let's get that baby out and then we'll figure out 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:27.520 what we want to do. Yeah, it doesn't we know, 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:31.160 it doesn't necessarily mean you stay together. So maybe if 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:33.040 it starts to become a thing, like she feels weird 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:34.600 or whatever, then maybe we'll we'll. 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:35.000 Think about it. 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:37.559 I do feel like I met my mom match. Because 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:39.040 I also think I'm a witch. 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:43.000 I have some witches. Mostly it's a good witch. 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:45.440 You did really smoked quartz. 0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:47.560 Today, and I'm clearing. 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:53.000 I'm like a very very aries but I'm a Virgo 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:57.520 rising and a Libra something. 0:10:57.600 --> 0:10:59.800 I'm a liberal something to I don't know the many. 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:02.720 What's your what's your sign? What's your story? What's your kids? 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:07.400 I'm a Virgo And that's about as much as I know. Technically, 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:09.040 I'm on the cusp of Libra. 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:12.560 Cusp attract each other. 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:16.560 I'm a cusper too, a really kind of a cusp, 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:17.760 I guess. 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:19.640 Yeah, when when's your March my third? 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:23.200 Oh yeah, I'm September twentieth, I told you, yeah, and 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:27.640 my husband's September twenty third. Yeah, so technically he's not 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:29.319 a cusp. But maybe maybe. 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:34.640 No astrology podcast we have right now, you would think 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:35.800 we actually we're talking, right. 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:39.480 I just want to say this is the most la 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:44.000 thing in the entire fucking world, which is not a bad. 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:45.000 Welcome to all that. 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:50.480 Yeah yeah, okay, So side story when we're in Bethlehem 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:52.320 taking of her wird genus. 0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:54.400 Oh yeah, this is the dumbest shit ever. 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:55.760 But it's not dumb. 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:58.120 It's wonderful and I really really enjoyed it. 0:11:58.320 --> 0:11:59.760 So we're in Bethlehem and we like, go to the 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:02.680 a bar where there's like Bar Louis. 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:04.360 It's no, no, we went to a bar before that 0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:05.160 was like old people. 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:06.880 And we're like, was it the hotel bar? 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:10.319 No, this is this restaurant called the copper Head. 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:12.320 Oh yeah, I've heard of that place. 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:13.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:16.079 It was good at the bar, but there was. 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:18.439 So let's go to another bar, like as if there's 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:22.520 gonna be like a more popular together. So we're driving 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:25.160 and we're like this sounds creepy. Yeah, I'm like, oh 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:27.000 my god, is that is that a cemetery? 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:28.839 And she's like yeah, She's like, you want to go? 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:30.760 I was like, yeah, I do you want to go? 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:32.680 I'm like, I'm so happy I have a friend that 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:34.920 wants to walk in the cemetery as growing as women 0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:38.240 for no reason. And we pull over and we fucking 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:42.280 walk through the cemetery and she's like, I'm like, I'm scared. 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:44.320 I'm kind of scared. She's like, I thought you were 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:44.840 a witch. 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:46.959 I went I was like, where's this witch that you 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.600 see all the time? There can let's get out. 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:54.520 This is the beginning of Texas Chainsaw. Yeah. So that 0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:55.400 was my side story. 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:57.600 Yeah, I'm half Cuban. 0:12:57.679 --> 0:12:58.040 We don't. 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:00.760 I don't funk with that stuff, you know. Like then 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:03.679 I start thinking about like, yeah, like when you find 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.360 like dead chickens on your doorstep or like broken plates. 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:08.560 Not that I've ever found a dead chicken on my doorstep, 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:10.720 but I know if I do, I'm in trouble. 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:11.720 I know what I'm doing. 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:18.400 The least funny thing. 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.960 You So we have an episode called you Sacrifice to What, 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:28.000 and it's with a shaman that's also my homide. 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:32.280 She's no, no, no, I'm stop there. 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:36.360 I totally believe in intention as long as it's like 0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:40.480 you know, for us, it's like, well, there's always been 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:44.400 this preconceived notion that all like which craft type stuff 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:46.760 is like scary and dark, and that doesn't have to 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.319 be the case. I mean I went to a Raikie 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:50.240 healer and I was like, yes, tell me who's my 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:52.760 spirit animal? Yeah? Touch me again? Oh yeah, I totally 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:57.640 I vibrated. Yeah, so I'm cool with that anyway. 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:00.520 You know, I get into weird shit sometimes because I 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:02.480 think of a witch until it's time to go to 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:03.599 a cemetery. 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:07.040 So it's totally normal, okay, But back. 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:07.560 To what we're back to? 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:12.000 Oh okay, So I have a two year old son, Sebastian, 0:14:13.559 --> 0:14:15.840 who was named after the never Ending Story. To be 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:19.000 completely honest, I love that. I just really loved the 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.680 name since I was a little kid, and the way 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:24.440 the moon goddess that was the character. Right, So I 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:28.640 guess I'm on this vein was like Bastian Bastion and 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:32.960 it just like really stuck with me. And yeah, that's 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:36.920 a I'm married. We've been together for like almost ten years, 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:39.520 and uh, that's it. I'm kind of boring. 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:44.960 Amazing, No, it's not boring. We're just we're single by accident. 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:49.960 I'm actually supposed to be married right now, really though 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:55.360 I am. My wedding last October. Bitch October what I've 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:58.360 never heard. I was gonna be October twenty eighth. Actually 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:01.120 that was my date except I woke up on October 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:03.200 twenty eighth when my wedding was supposed to be in 0:15:03.240 --> 0:15:05.400 someone else's bed, and I was like, I'm alert, like 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:07.400 your this is today is your wedding day. We had 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:09.280 been broken up, oh okay for like six months at 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:10.520 that point, but I still had. 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:12.720 Like this is a good Sorry, I. 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:14.840 Don't add the reminder in my phone. I was like, 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:16.200 this is I was like, I don't know whether to 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:18.880 cry or be happy, Like, you're not my husband. 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.760 Are you happy you didn't marry him? Yes, then that's 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:22.240 all you need. 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:24.320 Yeah, No, it was definitely for the best. Yeah, at 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:25.400 the time, it didn't feel that way. 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:28.480 But of course, well, no breakup or ending is fun. 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:30.680 It always feels like shit. Yeah, even if you know 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:32.040 it's the right thing, it just sucks. 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:37.080 It does sound so just dating. Yeah, but speaking of 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:40.480 LA and New York and those things. I wanted to 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.520 play a little game with you guys. Okay, I don't 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:45.960 know what it's called East Coast versus West Coast. 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:49.240 I said, like Tupac Biggie, but you were that name. 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:52.320 So so basically, we have a list of things that 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:55.200 we're gonna name and you maybe you guys should take turns, 0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:57.840 like one says, like one answers one question, you answer 0:15:57.920 --> 0:15:59.800 the other, and you tell me whether it's East Coast 0:15:59.880 --> 0:16:00.440 or coast. 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:02.840 You're gonna start, actually want me to start. 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:05.440 Well, I don't care you start okay, okay, and try 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:09.160 to insert quickly like don't overthink it, okay, okay, four 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:16.480 West Coast Doula's Last Coast spandex our Pants, East Coast, 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:23.720 Keto Diet East Coast flip flops both really Yeah, I 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:25.560 feel like I've never seen New york As wear footfalls. 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:27.800 Well that's because your feet get really kind of nasty 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:29.560 and dirty. They're like black by the end of the day, 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:31.640 which is crud. But I definitely see it. 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:37.560 Okay, okay, luxury strollers East Coast, scheduled Sea section East Coast, 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:41.000 that's what That's what the Google said too. Yeah, that's 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:45.720 what the Google said. Water birth West Coast, Papa. 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:50.320 Squat East Coast, So you are meant to be here, babe, 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:55.400 Clean Squad are literally Papa squat anywhere. 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:57.320 It's like almost I'm like, girl, that's a bathroom. 0:16:57.520 --> 0:16:58.720 We just need to get you a tote with a 0:16:58.760 --> 0:16:59.920 different pair of shoes than you before. 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.960 On a she we it's always like, yes, you need 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:06.760 what is she's it's a funnel. Yeah, it's like a 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:10.720 fun that she's pro she's pro status yesterday, a prospect part. 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:14.439 She literally, I think, prefers to Papa squat versus go 0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:18.320 to the bathroom actual stalls. Okay, I don't know. Juice 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:23.880 cleanse uh West Coast spray Tan East Coast, Kale, East 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.680 Coast best burgers. 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:30.000 East Coast bullshit. We have shake shack And if you 0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:32.240 try to tell me in and out is better, I 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:36.440 not need any world get in and out better than Shakeshack. 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:40.119 Shouldn't say five guys because I know someone tries to 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:41.800 tell me about I was like, if you don't get 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:42.880 that nasty garbage. 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:46.080 There's also a secret burger place in the back heart. Yeah, 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:47.040 that one's really good. 0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:48.560 What the burger joint? 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:49.640 Yeah, it's real good. 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:53.159 It's okay, it's no shake sh secret burger place on 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:56.280 the back of the park. That's good, right on like 0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:58.800 fifty sixth Street, right by the part I don't like burgers. 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:07.360 Well, that's silent radio literally awkward side silence. 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:09.560 Best style, Oh, who is it? Is it me? Or 0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:09.800 you're not? 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:11.080 Best style? 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:12.000 East or West? 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:12.320 Oh? 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:14.800 I didn't know what we were East. 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:18.240 Higher divorce rate mm hmm. 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:22.399 I'm gonna say East Coast because I feel like on 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:27.119 the West Coast, on the West Coast, I feel like 0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:31.480 people get like have kids without getting married more. And 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:34.440 on the East Coast, yes exactly, and on the East 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.200 Coast like people are doing the like well, this is 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:39.680 the right thing to do, and then usually just get divorced. 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:41.040 Does that make sense? 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:46.160 Yea, yeah, but actually it's California. Really high school graduation 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:51.000 rate East Coast California. I was shocked. 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:53.320 We have a higher rate of graduation. 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:56.480 You guys have better schools, I think, yeah, no, better 0:18:56.560 --> 0:18:57.159 public schools. 0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:00.280 Really, I feel like everyone. I feel like all my 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:04.119 East Coast friends that are parents or even older people, 0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:06.600 like they're always planning their kids future. 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:07.800 Like in the world. 0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:10.480 So New York City is not all of New York State, 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:12.879 right of course. So that's another thing. 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:14.400 Like I always forget that, and then I go upstate 0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:17.639 and I'm like, this is different here, like California, Like 0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:19.880 there's a lot, it's very different. 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:23.680 Like go go to ox Nerd ox Nerd. Yeah, yeah, 0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:26.040 it's like a totally different world. In LA, it's like 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:27.120 two hours. 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:28.560 Yeah yeah. True. 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:33.560 Chicken pox? What is that me? 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:37.760 I think so because I just said East Coast, I 0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:41.200 actually have no I had no statistical group for this one. 0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:42.320 I just threw it in, like. 0:19:42.520 --> 0:19:45.600 Why I think everybody gets chicken pox. I was like, 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:46.600 I never had it. 0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:50.040 I've never had the chicken pox really never. 0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:52.200 I think it's really strange that like back in the 0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:55.399 day you used to bring kids, was like hanging out with. 0:19:57.680 --> 0:20:01.520 Yes, bye, are you both take gus the chicken you do? 0:20:01.760 --> 0:20:04.639 This is my chicken pock. Your first chicken pock always scars. 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:06.719 It's God. 0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:08.400 I have what it's called the mama pop. 0:20:08.800 --> 0:20:09.600 It's so crazy. 0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:13.000 I'm the mama park. I should know that that's the 0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:13.880 mama pok right there. 0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:14.440 I don't know. 0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:15.480 That's really sick. 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:23.400 Have you all had shingles too? Yes, people had shingles all. 0:20:26.200 --> 0:20:26.840 They don't. 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:27.879 Yes, they do. 0:20:28.320 --> 0:20:30.080 Even get shingles all the time. And you can only 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:31.280 get shingles if you've had chicken. 0:20:31.440 --> 0:20:33.000 But they only get shingles if you live a high 0:20:33.000 --> 0:20:33.719 stress lifestyle. 0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:34.480 You only get shingles. 0:20:34.520 --> 0:20:36.960 If you have everybody on the fucking East Coast you 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:37.959 gotta take your herbs. 0:20:38.000 --> 0:20:41.240 Girl, Oh my god, speaking of everybody on the East Coast. 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:45.320 So I'm from California, so I smile at everyone, and 0:20:45.400 --> 0:20:47.240 so I'm like walking down the street with my East 0:20:47.280 --> 0:20:51.160 Coast friend. I was like, yeah, that's not oddly smiling 0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:52.880 at families and husbands. 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:57.879 And he's like he's looking at me all strange, and 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:00.400 like what he's like that guy's the cause you want 0:21:00.400 --> 0:21:05.200 to fuck them. I'm like, what this whole fucking family. 0:21:05.560 --> 0:21:08.000 When I was in LA, maybe you want to fuck 0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:08.560 the whole family. 0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:11.000 When I lived in La, well, I lived back and 0:21:11.040 --> 0:21:13.120 forth for six years and then study for three years 0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:15.920 at one time. And I remember that the first the 0:21:16.359 --> 0:21:18.960 three year stint, and I was like applying for jobs 0:21:19.080 --> 0:21:20.639 or just going out on I was an actor, so 0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:23.000 I was going out and like go season everything, and 0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:24.920 I remember everyone asking me if I had an anger 0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:26.919 management issue, and I'm. 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:27.720 Like a pretty perky. 0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:31.520 I'm like pretty perky and I and I was like finally, 0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:34.600 after like the fourth time non related people asked me this, 0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:38.760 I was like, what, I don't understand what is making 0:21:38.800 --> 0:21:41.200 you say that? And they're like, well, you're very aggressive, 0:21:41.680 --> 0:21:43.760 and I'm like, I'm just efficient. I just don't think 0:21:44.440 --> 0:21:47.000 stuff should take that long, like way to know what 0:21:47.119 --> 0:21:49.280 you order before getting in line. If you don't know 0:21:49.359 --> 0:21:51.040 what you want to order, don't get in line. And 0:21:51.119 --> 0:21:53.439 I'm like, and you're asking me questions and I'm answering 0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:55.280 them in an efficient manner so as not to waste 0:21:55.280 --> 0:21:58.480 anybody's time. And I just didn't realize that, Like my 0:21:58.720 --> 0:22:01.760 new Yorker because I'm from here, so my New Yorker, 0:22:02.040 --> 0:22:05.879 like I was really being so nice, but my just 0:22:05.960 --> 0:22:08.720 kind of quality of not smiling at everybody, just trying 0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:10.280 to not waste anybody's. 0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:11.440 Time and being really efficient. 0:22:11.800 --> 0:22:14.040 But on the flip side, have you if you go 0:22:14.160 --> 0:22:16.680 to a bar in La, zero chance you're going to 0:22:16.760 --> 0:22:19.480 make a new friend, zero chan. No one has to 0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:24.679 each other randomly in the bathroom different right, because you're 0:22:24.760 --> 0:22:27.200 usually drunk and you're like, oh my god, you're so cute. 0:22:27.400 --> 0:22:29.440 Oh my god, so are you? And then you know 0:22:29.560 --> 0:22:31.800 that's a whole other thing. But like, you don't go 0:22:31.920 --> 0:22:33.960 to bars in LA and sit next to someone and 0:22:34.080 --> 0:22:36.840 just strike up a conversation where that's like a normally there. 0:22:37.000 --> 0:22:39.800 It's in New York they where people have this conception 0:22:39.840 --> 0:22:42.640 of New York that we're unfriendly. We're not unfriendly, we're 0:22:42.640 --> 0:22:43.080 just efficient. 0:22:43.200 --> 0:22:43.400 Yeah. 0:22:43.400 --> 0:22:46.359 But I remember being like, it's efficiency, I'm gonna get it. 0:22:46.440 --> 0:22:48.840 And I didn't get any of those. 0:22:48.760 --> 0:22:53.800 Jobs, not for nothing. But every place I waited tables 0:22:53.800 --> 0:22:57.000 in LA, I was like the superstar like waiter because 0:22:57.040 --> 0:23:00.680 of that, because it was just like that, go, come on, 0:23:00.880 --> 0:23:02.040 who's got time for the ship? 0:23:02.119 --> 0:23:04.520 Yeah? Yeah. I feel like my face was born in New. 0:23:04.480 --> 0:23:08.840 York, faced by New York. 0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:15.960 Are you friendly but my face? 0:23:17.600 --> 0:23:20.040 Yeah? No, because everyone my whole life has always been 0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:22.320 are you okay? Why are you so serious? 0:23:22.440 --> 0:23:24.840 My daughter has the hardest restling. 0:23:24.600 --> 0:23:27.320 Ditch face, my resting bitch face. I love that word. Yeah. 0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:30.520 So yeah, I wish I had a better resting bitch face. 0:23:30.760 --> 0:23:32.600 Sometimes I'm like, I'm gonna go. I'm needing more bitchy 0:23:32.760 --> 0:23:34.320 for sure. Yeah, because bitches. 0:23:34.600 --> 0:23:37.119 Bitches get far and then I get out for like 0:23:37.240 --> 0:23:38.960 eight seconds, I'm like, oh, hi, how are you? 0:23:39.400 --> 0:23:41.480 Where are you from? Where's your mom from? 0:23:42.760 --> 0:23:44.760 I send Jamila out to do I'm like, oh go, 0:23:45.200 --> 0:23:45.840 don't make friends. 0:23:45.960 --> 0:23:48.720 Yeah, and I'm like, it's supposed to be a bitch today, 0:23:50.359 --> 0:23:50.720 damn it. 0:23:52.560 --> 0:23:58.680 Okay, we're almost done. Best beaches, Oh definitely. Oh no, 0:23:58.800 --> 0:23:59.680 you know what East Coast? 0:23:59.800 --> 0:24:03.800 No? Yes, have you been to Florida? The beaches are beautiful. Basically, 0:24:04.040 --> 0:24:07.760 that's not fucking up to like North Carolina. The beaches 0:24:07.760 --> 0:24:08.480 are real nice. 0:24:08.720 --> 0:24:11.320 She's making no heaving. 0:24:11.400 --> 0:24:14.240 Been to the Hampton's you know that's cool? 0:24:14.400 --> 0:24:14.760 Happened? 0:24:15.600 --> 0:24:18.040 I have gone one time, and well, the beaches are 0:24:18.080 --> 0:24:19.160 not nice in the Hamptons. 0:24:20.080 --> 0:24:22.879 I mean, West Post has beautiful beaches. 0:24:22.920 --> 0:24:23.960 Just cold, it's just cold. 0:24:24.080 --> 0:24:28.280 Yeah, bed bugs New York the East. Yeah, you guys 0:24:28.280 --> 0:24:29.360 are like number two. Yeah. 0:24:29.560 --> 0:24:30.280 What was number one? 0:24:30.440 --> 0:24:31.080 Philly? Philly. 0:24:31.560 --> 0:24:33.919 Oh, that's shocking. I thought for sure would be number one. 0:24:34.480 --> 0:24:35.760 Belief in the afterlife. 0:24:36.200 --> 0:24:39.040 West Coast Yep, stay. 0:24:38.800 --> 0:24:40.840 At home dad, East Coast? 0:24:41.440 --> 0:24:43.760 Wrong, Yeah, the West Coast on that I think, I 0:24:43.840 --> 0:24:44.080 know so. 0:24:44.080 --> 0:24:44.960 Many stayed home deads. 0:24:46.640 --> 0:24:49.719 Apparently there's two hundred and forty thousand stay at home 0:24:49.800 --> 0:24:52.159 dads in California, which was a very shocking number to me. 0:24:52.320 --> 0:24:52.520 Yeah. 0:24:52.920 --> 0:24:55.800 And I was reaching researching this and in the nineteen seventies, 0:24:55.880 --> 0:24:59.600 only six six people, six men in the United Wow, 0:25:00.480 --> 0:25:02.280 admitted to being a stay at home. 0:25:03.160 --> 0:25:04.840 It was like, I was like, wait, six percent. 0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:08.720 Six people people in nineteen sixties, nineteen seventies, seventies, Wow, 0:25:09.240 --> 0:25:10.520 crazy progressiveness. 0:25:10.960 --> 0:25:12.960 They're probably like dudes that were laid off and were like, 0:25:12.960 --> 0:25:13.800 all right, I'll do that. 0:25:14.080 --> 0:25:18.399 Yeah, I'm not telling anybody though, exactly best rappers. 0:25:19.520 --> 0:25:20.320 East Coast. 0:25:24.119 --> 0:25:27.600 It was like minus nipsy yeah, boo jobs. 0:25:28.760 --> 0:25:31.560 West Coast for sure, I feel like that's tied. No, 0:25:32.240 --> 0:25:33.280 have you been to Jersey? 0:25:33.400 --> 0:25:35.719 No? I feel like I feel for so many New 0:25:35.800 --> 0:25:36.879 York book jobs, you just don't know. 0:25:36.920 --> 0:25:42.280 That, yes, exactly, we're also all covered up. 0:25:42.320 --> 0:25:44.879 But the like I think East Coast gets like a 0:25:44.960 --> 0:25:48.160 b C. Okay, like a they get higher. 0:25:48.240 --> 0:25:51.720 Yeah, they're like the exactly, you're. 0:25:51.680 --> 0:25:55.920 Right apparently at the Zeller. 0:25:56.080 --> 0:26:00.080 Yeah on Boattoks, East Coast, it's so much cheaper on 0:26:00.119 --> 0:26:00.640 the West Coast. 0:26:00.800 --> 0:26:02.399 It's East Coast though, really. 0:26:03.880 --> 0:26:05.840 East Coast really. 0:26:09.040 --> 0:26:10.680 Maybe were great. 0:26:11.560 --> 0:26:13.520 Last Wedday drinking because it's our favorite. 0:26:13.400 --> 0:26:16.359 East Coast coast West Coast because you have to like 0:26:16.600 --> 0:26:19.240 take ubers or drive like here, you walk around. 0:26:20.520 --> 0:26:21.680 Yeah, I don't know. 0:26:22.000 --> 0:26:25.120 Drinking drinking culture I feel like overall is much stronger 0:26:25.240 --> 0:26:25.720 in New York. 0:26:26.080 --> 0:26:28.359 And also we've got Boston, which has like the biggest 0:26:28.440 --> 0:26:29.159 drinking culture. 0:26:29.160 --> 0:26:31.760 I was for sure Borderwain alcoholic when I lived here. 0:26:32.160 --> 0:26:36.320 I'm drunk right now because you're here, Can I tell you? 0:26:37.000 --> 0:26:37.600 Can I tell you? 0:26:37.720 --> 0:26:38.879 I'm sad I'm not on that. 0:26:39.520 --> 0:26:42.000 Literally no other reason. I have no reason to be 0:26:42.119 --> 0:26:44.919 drunk on Monday. Well, the reason to. 0:26:44.960 --> 0:26:47.040 Be drunk on Monday is Monday. 0:26:47.200 --> 0:26:51.920 Yeah exactly, Like legitimately, good, did you drink this morning 0:26:52.000 --> 0:26:53.199 or you're still drunk from last night. 0:26:53.320 --> 0:26:53.960 From last night. 0:26:54.040 --> 0:26:55.280 Oh okay, Oh no, I didn't know. 0:26:55.480 --> 0:26:56.600 I'm responsible little. 0:26:57.520 --> 0:26:58.320 I hadn't listen. 0:26:58.480 --> 0:27:01.159 I have a drink this morning, bitch, just like three o'clock. 0:27:01.880 --> 0:27:04.159 If there's one person in this room who's not going 0:27:04.240 --> 0:27:05.960 to judge you ever for being drunk, it is. 0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:10.840 I was listening to one of your episodes and you 0:27:10.920 --> 0:27:12.440 were saying, I think it was you. We were talking 0:27:12.440 --> 0:27:14.840 about drinking on the train around bag round bag on 0:27:14.920 --> 0:27:15.200 the train. 0:27:15.240 --> 0:27:18.600 I was like, it's not the drunk back the other day. 0:27:21.040 --> 0:27:22.400 I don't have I don't have time. 0:27:22.560 --> 0:27:26.720 Like my partner and I split childcare so far, and 0:27:27.040 --> 0:27:30.440 he is the primary right now, he's the primary breadwinner, 0:27:30.920 --> 0:27:33.200 and so he needs to when he's working from home, 0:27:33.240 --> 0:27:35.480 he needs to be able to work. So you know, 0:27:35.600 --> 0:27:38.040 when I'm here, when I'm doing something else, I have 0:27:38.160 --> 0:27:41.159 to usually get back pretty quickly. And sometimes I'm like, 0:27:41.320 --> 0:27:46.199 I just want I just want to be alone. Yeah, yeah, well, 0:27:46.200 --> 0:27:48.879 I just want to remember what it was like to 0:27:49.000 --> 0:27:52.040 be me without a kid, and that was I could 0:27:52.119 --> 0:27:53.320 have a drink in the middle of the day with 0:27:53.440 --> 0:27:55.920 my friend or whenever I damn wanted. 0:27:55.720 --> 0:27:57.480 To, or I still have drinks in the middle of 0:27:57.520 --> 0:27:58.720 the day though, I know, but. 0:27:58.800 --> 0:28:00.440 I just I just don't have time like I used 0:28:00.440 --> 0:28:02.840 to be able to like go and whatever anyway, you 0:28:02.920 --> 0:28:04.840 know what I mean. So sometimes I just want to 0:28:04.920 --> 0:28:08.719 feel that freedom and just remember I'm having a lot 0:28:08.800 --> 0:28:10.960 of issues person Like I said, I've been going to 0:28:11.000 --> 0:28:13.200 be nine months tomorrow. I'm having a lot of issues 0:28:13.240 --> 0:28:15.280 with my identity. Like the hardest part for me of 0:28:15.359 --> 0:28:18.240 being a parent. You didn't ask, but I'll tell you, Oh, 0:28:18.680 --> 0:28:23.640 Hell isn't so far her she's fabulous, Like she's she's great. 0:28:24.040 --> 0:28:27.600 It's just who I am now, Like it's really like 0:28:28.080 --> 0:28:30.520 fucking with my head, like trying to figure out and 0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:33.040 not to be like a total yoga teacher. But I 0:28:33.520 --> 0:28:35.359 know all about the ego and detaching from the ego, 0:28:35.440 --> 0:28:38.040 and I thought I was more evolved than this, and 0:28:38.120 --> 0:28:39.840 then you have a kid and then you're like, WHOA, 0:28:39.920 --> 0:28:42.040 I was not evolved. I was not as evolved I 0:28:42.080 --> 0:28:45.240 thought it was. And so my ego thing has been tricky, 0:28:45.720 --> 0:28:48.239 and so sometimes I just need to hang onto those 0:28:48.280 --> 0:28:51.120 little nuggets as I'm trying to figure it out. I 0:28:51.240 --> 0:28:54.280 need like little reminders, and sometimes that is drinking a rose, 0:28:54.840 --> 0:28:57.800 you know, from a can on the subway for my 0:28:57.880 --> 0:28:59.760 fifteen minute commute, and then I'm like, I hope this 0:29:00.240 --> 0:29:01.800 goes longer so I can have a second. 0:29:02.360 --> 0:29:04.000 Place break down exactly. 0:29:04.120 --> 0:29:06.920 I do have to tell you, I genuinely do think 0:29:07.240 --> 0:29:09.320 and this is what I was saying when Sebastian turned two. 0:29:09.800 --> 0:29:12.080 I do think, like by the second birthday, and you 0:29:12.160 --> 0:29:16.320 guys can chime in on this, but I felt I 0:29:16.520 --> 0:29:20.720 finally felt back to my old self, but like settled 0:29:20.880 --> 0:29:24.720 in the new version of my old self. Maybe a 0:29:24.800 --> 0:29:27.640 little bit before that, but it was like two, that's 0:29:28.000 --> 0:29:30.840 she's in like the really hard the dark. 0:29:31.480 --> 0:29:34.520 Yeah, the dark yeah. 0:29:37.800 --> 0:29:38.600 Too. 0:29:38.880 --> 0:29:41.400 Literally, that's I say the same thing. I'm like, Okay, 0:29:41.440 --> 0:29:43.240 we'll just give yourself three years. Yes, when you hear 0:29:43.240 --> 0:29:46.680 you're pregnant, yep, like another four thousand years of your 0:29:46.960 --> 0:29:48.000 your fucking breastfeeding. 0:29:48.120 --> 0:29:48.320 Yeah. 0:29:49.520 --> 0:29:53.840 And then and then you're like, oh, okay, I can 0:29:53.880 --> 0:29:54.640 still be myself. 0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:57.479 Yeah I could still like be a hot ass MEAs 0:29:57.600 --> 0:30:01.160 but also come and do stuff mom mehit on Monday. Yeah. 0:30:01.360 --> 0:30:04.520 That this that that all goes away, and and it is. 0:30:04.600 --> 0:30:07.880 It is a strange time where you're just like, can 0:30:07.960 --> 0:30:10.200 I be the same person? Am I the same person? 0:30:10.720 --> 0:30:10.840 There. 0:30:10.840 --> 0:30:12.840 It's like it's like a coming of age. 0:30:12.960 --> 0:30:15.040 But I also did all the things at once, like 0:30:15.200 --> 0:30:18.440 I was a single lady for many years I spent 0:30:18.640 --> 0:30:20.400 I've been in New York twenty years. I would say 0:30:20.600 --> 0:30:23.560 almost all twenty I was just dating around like casual 0:30:23.600 --> 0:30:25.320 here and there may be a one year relationship, maybe 0:30:25.320 --> 0:30:28.240 a three year, but I always dumped them, like almost 0:30:28.240 --> 0:30:29.800 two years, I dump and then maybe we would do 0:30:29.840 --> 0:30:32.080 a do over, and never made it past two years 0:30:32.400 --> 0:30:35.120 for some reason. My freak out point was like two 0:30:35.200 --> 0:30:37.200 years but a lot of like randos, you know, and 0:30:37.320 --> 0:30:40.920 then me a lot of randos. And then me and 0:30:41.120 --> 0:30:45.239 my guy met online and we started dating whatever. Uh 0:30:45.440 --> 0:30:48.600 it was match match and I answered all the like 0:30:48.920 --> 0:30:50.840 I was on match and just it was basically like 0:30:51.000 --> 0:30:51.640 tender but not. 0:30:51.920 --> 0:30:53.360 By the way, I never told you this. I did 0:30:53.440 --> 0:30:56.200 jay date and that was the only online dating experienced. 0:30:56.440 --> 0:30:58.800 And if you know me, I'm not at all dater, 0:30:59.000 --> 0:31:00.440 but I did it. I just be to throw that 0:31:01.680 --> 0:31:03.880 did you want a date or too? No, okay, you 0:31:04.040 --> 0:31:04.600 just went on it. 0:31:04.760 --> 0:31:05.400 I just went on it. 0:31:05.520 --> 0:31:07.840 I got too many things saying like you're my Jewish princess. 0:31:08.320 --> 0:31:11.360 I'm good, so good, thank you yeah. 0:31:11.840 --> 0:31:13.880 But anyway, then we met and we dated, and then 0:31:13.920 --> 0:31:16.560 we had a baby pretty pretty soon after dating. I 0:31:16.640 --> 0:31:19.400 mean not soon, but pretty soon. And I never lived 0:31:19.400 --> 0:31:22.600 with anybody. I'm a live alone lady, and so we 0:31:22.800 --> 0:31:25.120 didn't even move in together until a month before I 0:31:25.160 --> 0:31:25.560 do date. 0:31:25.680 --> 0:31:26.400 Oh my god. 0:31:28.120 --> 0:31:31.840 So I moved real big, real angry, real hot, and. 0:31:31.920 --> 0:31:35.200 It's a lot, and then had the baby and so like, 0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:38.680 I have three roommates now and I so I did 0:31:38.760 --> 0:31:40.720 all the things. So part of the identity thing is 0:31:40.800 --> 0:31:43.719 like I've always supported myself. I've always lived by myself. 0:31:44.000 --> 0:31:45.960 I've always and now I'm like, what is this? 0:31:46.320 --> 0:31:46.760 Who am I? 0:31:46.960 --> 0:31:49.200 I live with somebody? Live with two people? 0:31:49.360 --> 0:31:49.479 Now? 0:31:49.680 --> 0:31:51.720 One came out of my vagina, or she actually didn't, 0:31:51.720 --> 0:31:54.400 she was ripped for my stomach, but still like, yeah, 0:31:54.720 --> 0:31:57.200 I was like now, so that's that's also part of 0:31:57.240 --> 0:31:58.920 the identity thing because I just did all the things 0:31:58.920 --> 0:32:00.600 at once, and so it's a little bit dizzy and. 0:32:00.640 --> 0:32:02.800 Yeah, trying to like recalibrate because I'm so like, I. 0:32:02.800 --> 0:32:04.520 Wish that we've lived in a Brownstone and I could 0:32:04.560 --> 0:32:06.120 live on month learn you can live on another right, 0:32:06.200 --> 0:32:08.600 because I'm a live alone kind of like, yeah. 0:32:09.040 --> 0:32:12.800 The evolved, like the evolving aspect I mean of life 0:32:13.080 --> 0:32:18.120 period is real. Especially I feel like after thirty you're like, yep, yeah, 0:32:18.120 --> 0:32:20.760 you think you're evolved, like you did yoga four times, 0:32:23.040 --> 0:32:26.000 I'm at peace with myself. And then you have a kid, 0:32:26.160 --> 0:32:29.680 and like then you have like someone connected to the kid, 0:32:29.760 --> 0:32:33.960 which is hopefully your partner but probably sometimes not and 0:32:34.160 --> 0:32:36.760 even worse. But it's it's that ship is real. And 0:32:36.840 --> 0:32:38.400 I know you like, uh, wait, which one of you 0:32:38.480 --> 0:32:39.480 has like the yoga background. 0:32:39.520 --> 0:32:41.760 That's me right, it's about you probably. 0:32:41.560 --> 0:32:45.840 Did yoga like four hundred times probably, yeah, And still 0:32:46.200 --> 0:32:48.400 it's so fucking hard. 0:32:49.120 --> 0:32:51.080 Yeah, especially through the mirror of like a kid. 0:32:51.400 --> 0:32:53.600 Everything I do, you're like, oh, there's a person looking 0:32:53.600 --> 0:32:55.760 at me doing you know, it's like wait. 0:32:55.680 --> 0:32:59.720 Until they start repeating it, girl, wait until that happens. 0:33:00.040 --> 0:33:04.240 It's like a beautiful it's a beautiful, fucked up like 0:33:04.560 --> 0:33:05.560 mirror of yourself. 0:33:05.720 --> 0:33:07.880 Yeah, you know, and then you have to re examine everything, 0:33:08.200 --> 0:33:10.000 like am I doing a good job? Like why do 0:33:10.080 --> 0:33:12.440 I care? I should care? This person cares I do this. 0:33:12.720 --> 0:33:15.440 I'm sort of like I did this straight up witchy thing. 0:33:16.600 --> 0:33:19.000 I'm gonna forget what data so in the Kundolini yoga tradition, 0:33:19.000 --> 0:33:21.360 which is not the tradition that I practice specifically, but 0:33:21.680 --> 0:33:25.040 there's a specific date where they feel the soul enters 0:33:25.800 --> 0:33:27.480 the baby and it chooses the mother. 0:33:27.920 --> 0:33:29.360 Oh, so do you agree with that? 0:33:29.520 --> 0:33:33.320 So the baby's inside you and then on his third trimester, 0:33:33.520 --> 0:33:35.640 well it's like, no, it's a one day one twenty 0:33:35.720 --> 0:33:37.040 something based. 0:33:36.760 --> 0:33:39.360 On the moon or is it based on like gestational period. 0:33:39.480 --> 0:33:40.200 I have no idea. 0:33:41.200 --> 0:33:43.360 I would be lying right now. 0:33:43.320 --> 0:33:45.200 Twenty eighth day of the baby existing. 0:33:45.840 --> 0:33:47.520 It's like something I don't know. I think it's like 0:33:47.800 --> 0:33:49.640 like you know how Kabala has those like sacred numbers. 0:33:49.640 --> 0:33:50.360 I think it has something to. 0:33:50.360 --> 0:33:51.680 Do with like the sacred wish. 0:33:54.120 --> 0:33:54.400 She's like. 0:33:55.920 --> 0:33:58.120 But anyway, so on this day they feel that there's 0:33:58.160 --> 0:33:58.880 like all of these. 0:33:58.800 --> 0:34:02.080 Reincarnated soul, you know, because it's come from a Hindu tradition, 0:34:02.480 --> 0:34:05.160 and they pick the mom and then it comes into 0:34:05.240 --> 0:34:09.200 the So on that day, I liked had a healing session. 0:34:09.320 --> 0:34:11.160 I meditated most of the day and I was like 0:34:12.080 --> 0:34:15.080 trying to fall into the soul, trying to call the 0:34:15.200 --> 0:34:15.480 kind of. 0:34:15.520 --> 0:34:17.360 Soul that it's gonna be me. 0:34:18.000 --> 0:34:20.279 So you know what I did, So aside from like, 0:34:20.320 --> 0:34:23.239 I want you to be creative. I was like, and 0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:27.920 above all, please do not be a basic bitch. I 0:34:28.080 --> 0:34:29.879 was like, I need you to be funny. I don't 0:34:29.920 --> 0:34:31.600 know how I'll relate to if you're not funny and 0:34:31.640 --> 0:34:34.520 you can't roll. Also, please don't be a basic bitch. 0:34:34.920 --> 0:34:35.520 And then now. 0:34:38.200 --> 0:34:39.720 Whatever, no basic bitches. 0:34:40.200 --> 0:34:43.840 But then now she is the feistiest, and I'm like, 0:34:43.920 --> 0:34:45.520 well I got what you asked for. 0:34:45.880 --> 0:34:46.080 Yeah. 0:34:46.360 --> 0:34:48.080 My partner's always like, well you said you didn't want 0:34:48.080 --> 0:34:50.040 a basic bitch. She is not a basic bitch. 0:34:50.080 --> 0:34:51.520 I was like, that is shared. 0:34:53.040 --> 0:34:55.240 And that he was like, yeah, no basic. 0:34:55.560 --> 0:34:58.279 Meanwhile, I've gone around and been like, I hope Sebastian's 0:34:58.280 --> 0:35:01.279 an accountant or something that as like a four to 0:35:01.320 --> 0:35:04.920 oh one K or something stable, because mommy and daddy 0:35:04.960 --> 0:35:08.400 are both creative and have struggled for so long that 0:35:08.680 --> 0:35:11.640 I just want you to be established in your life 0:35:11.760 --> 0:35:15.040 and not struggle like by a house at twenty five. 0:35:15.239 --> 0:35:17.920 You know right right that part, Oh my god, that's 0:35:17.920 --> 0:35:20.960 like me too. I'm I'm like, I read, don't paint. 0:35:21.160 --> 0:35:28.840 Here, here's a stethoscope, here's a spreadsheetread power is so 0:35:29.440 --> 0:35:32.640 ye yes, So here's a really fun power of your 0:35:32.719 --> 0:35:33.319 Christmas listen. 0:35:33.560 --> 0:35:37.360 Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I have two middle names. My 0:35:37.480 --> 0:35:41.800 name is Ashley Melissa Danielle Heron by birth and Melissa Danel. 0:35:42.280 --> 0:35:45.719 Melissa Danielle Melissa daniel are two you know, based off 0:35:45.760 --> 0:35:48.879 of two important people in my life. Uh obviously via 0:35:48.960 --> 0:35:52.120 my parents. And it is no coincidence that those middle 0:35:52.160 --> 0:35:56.080 initials are MD because my Cuban ass mother was like, 0:35:56.440 --> 0:35:58.680 you're going to be a doctor. You're going to be 0:35:58.719 --> 0:36:03.840 a doctor, and I the complete opposite past on television. 0:36:04.000 --> 0:36:06.280 I was like, no, I'm good. I don't like blood, 0:36:06.960 --> 0:36:08.799 I don't like long hours. We're good. 0:36:09.160 --> 0:36:10.200 My initials are enough. 0:36:11.360 --> 0:36:13.200 Yeah, that's actually, thank. 0:36:13.000 --> 0:36:13.520 You so much. 0:36:13.560 --> 0:36:15.000 And also if I change my name, it will not 0:36:15.080 --> 0:36:16.360 be to Melissa or Danielle. 0:36:18.120 --> 0:36:21.799 Okay, So with your evolving and your yoga background, because 0:36:21.840 --> 0:36:26.520 you do like yoga and mental health awareness, which is 0:36:26.760 --> 0:36:32.160 bomb because everybody knows everybody's fucked up, everybody needs therapy. 0:36:32.960 --> 0:36:35.759 How what do you do you have any advice on 0:36:35.880 --> 0:36:38.560 how to like instill that in our kids young like 0:36:38.640 --> 0:36:41.120 we're toddler age where they repeat it and they're actually 0:36:41.200 --> 0:36:42.279 like kind of smarter than us. 0:36:43.239 --> 0:36:44.160 It's kind of fucking. 0:36:44.000 --> 0:36:45.120 Annoying because they have no filter. 0:36:45.239 --> 0:36:45.959 It's none. 0:36:47.640 --> 0:36:48.800 Yeah, what's your advice on that? 0:36:49.280 --> 0:36:51.160 Since you're like a professional, I mean I'm not. I 0:36:51.239 --> 0:36:53.960 mean I'm not a professional, but I don't know. 0:36:54.000 --> 0:36:54.520 I've tried to. 0:36:55.080 --> 0:36:56.920 It's like a couple of things I've done for her 0:36:57.080 --> 0:36:59.480 so far. I mean she's like nine months, so like. 0:37:01.440 --> 0:37:02.399 I'm like one of those moms. 0:37:02.440 --> 0:37:05.160 I'm like, well before as she was born. No, anyway, 0:37:05.800 --> 0:37:08.080 I try to like instill gratitude. So even though she 0:37:08.200 --> 0:37:09.560 can't tell me at the end of the day, like 0:37:09.719 --> 0:37:11.759 after her a good night story, I'm always like, I'm 0:37:11.800 --> 0:37:14.560 grateful for this today. I know you can't tell me 0:37:14.640 --> 0:37:16.880 what you're grateful for, but maybe here's some things that 0:37:17.000 --> 0:37:19.040 you're grateful for. You're grateful for that you saw your 0:37:19.080 --> 0:37:21.759 friend Rocky in the park, or that whatever you got 0:37:21.800 --> 0:37:24.320 to you know, whatever it is. I just guess, I'm like, 0:37:24.360 --> 0:37:25.920 and then you'll be able to tell me someday, you know. 0:37:26.360 --> 0:37:30.680 And then I also really love that that's the last 0:37:30.719 --> 0:37:31.600 thing before I put her down. 0:37:31.640 --> 0:37:32.120 That's what I do. 0:37:32.600 --> 0:37:34.239 And then I really and it helps me too, because 0:37:34.239 --> 0:37:36.160 I need gratitude because I can be a snarky ass 0:37:36.200 --> 0:37:38.640 bitch and it helps me to remember what I'm grateful for. 0:37:39.120 --> 0:37:40.600 I always say that, like, if you don't have great 0:37:40.680 --> 0:37:43.040 gratitude in your life, it's like waiting till last call 0:37:43.239 --> 0:37:44.560 to find the guy you want to go home with. 0:37:44.800 --> 0:37:48.360 Like whenever you are empty, you make terrible choices, you 0:37:48.480 --> 0:37:49.759 know you make or like when you're hungry and you 0:37:49.800 --> 0:37:51.279 go to the grocery store. If you're empty, you make 0:37:51.320 --> 0:37:54.560 a terrible choice. But if you're full of good stuff, 0:37:54.680 --> 0:37:56.399 you just only pick what's going to make you better. 0:37:56.600 --> 0:37:58.520 So that I'm trying to instill that in her that 0:37:58.560 --> 0:38:00.480 she doesn't have to go from the botty them, you know. 0:38:01.160 --> 0:38:03.719 And then I also try to just let her feel 0:38:03.719 --> 0:38:05.719 what she's feeling, even if I don't like it. So 0:38:05.760 --> 0:38:10.480 I'm like, I hear you, yeare super angry. Okay, so 0:38:10.719 --> 0:38:13.759 you know you can be angry, that's okay. I just 0:38:13.880 --> 0:38:17.040 I hate when people always like, just smile or whatever. 0:38:17.320 --> 0:38:19.080 Why are you so angry? Why are you so angry? 0:38:19.160 --> 0:38:21.799 You don't need to know why she's angry unless you're 0:38:22.480 --> 0:38:25.279 right exactly now, I mean, just in general, I used. 0:38:25.160 --> 0:38:25.759 To be a nanny too. 0:38:25.760 --> 0:38:30.200 I'm like, oh, celebrities, yeah, So I'm like, you know, 0:38:30.280 --> 0:38:32.000 you don't always have to know while someone's angry. I 0:38:32.040 --> 0:38:34.520 can't always put on I'm angry because I don't know. 0:38:34.560 --> 0:38:36.239 Because I'm angry, you don't need to know, you know. 0:38:36.760 --> 0:38:38.560 So those are a couple of things. And I also 0:38:38.600 --> 0:38:40.800 want her to know that it's okay to be depressed 0:38:40.880 --> 0:38:44.520 or anxious. Those are normal things. You're not broken, You're 0:38:44.600 --> 0:38:46.480 not going to have a messed up life because you 0:38:46.600 --> 0:38:49.120 feel that way, and that there's things that you can 0:38:49.239 --> 0:38:50.600 do to help yourself. 0:38:51.040 --> 0:38:51.239 You know. 0:38:51.640 --> 0:38:51.960 I don't know. 0:38:52.040 --> 0:38:55.480 I just I just as a yoga teacher, I I 0:38:55.760 --> 0:38:58.600 felt really weird about having anxiety and depression. I'd like 0:38:58.640 --> 0:39:01.480 felt like as a yoga teacher, I shouldn't be. And 0:39:01.600 --> 0:39:03.040 then one day I was just like fuck it, and 0:39:03.120 --> 0:39:05.520 I started telling people that I had it. And that 0:39:05.680 --> 0:39:08.640 was the moment that my whole entire life and yoga 0:39:08.880 --> 0:39:12.640 practice just like burst right open. Then I found the 0:39:12.719 --> 0:39:14.880 kind of students that were like my freak tribe that 0:39:15.080 --> 0:39:18.080 needed to hear that, and it made me feel better. 0:39:18.120 --> 0:39:20.680 I felt like I wasn't hiding or I just felt 0:39:20.719 --> 0:39:25.200 like being honest in a really transparent way just blew 0:39:25.320 --> 0:39:27.799 my whole life open in a great way. 0:39:28.480 --> 0:39:30.120 Yeah, I mean I think I can we both can 0:39:30.200 --> 0:39:32.440 relate to that. I think starting this podcast, like I 0:39:32.560 --> 0:39:36.360 felt initially going into parenthood, I really felt like I 0:39:36.440 --> 0:39:38.000 had to be a certain type of way. I felt 0:39:38.000 --> 0:39:39.880 like I couldn't do the things that I was doing before, 0:39:40.560 --> 0:39:44.320 you know, I felt like I couldn't act in certain 0:39:44.360 --> 0:39:46.480 ways anymore that were not motherly. 0:39:47.760 --> 0:39:49.440 Or wholesome or maybe not wholesome. 0:39:49.480 --> 0:39:53.360 But I just felt like, I don't know, like you know, 0:39:53.440 --> 0:39:54.080 we've talked about it. 0:39:54.160 --> 0:39:56.560 Oh yeah, no, for sure, there's a whole there's a 0:39:56.600 --> 0:39:57.040 whole thing. 0:39:57.440 --> 0:39:59.800 Yeah, And it's just it was important to me that 0:39:59.840 --> 0:40:02.880 I what didn't change a ton. I mean, you change 0:40:02.880 --> 0:40:04.320 as you have a care I don't want to be 0:40:04.640 --> 0:40:05.960 I don't want to be one of those people that 0:40:06.000 --> 0:40:08.560 you're like, you have no you don't even recognize them because. 0:40:11.360 --> 0:40:12.600 What happened. 0:40:13.680 --> 0:40:16.359 I've seen you piss yourself who. 0:40:18.120 --> 0:40:19.680 Right? Cut? 0:40:20.160 --> 0:40:20.359 Yeah? 0:40:21.719 --> 0:40:22.239 Absolutely. 0:40:22.400 --> 0:40:25.600 First of all, I think like the power of testimony 0:40:25.680 --> 0:40:28.600 sounds so religious, but the power of testimony and the 0:40:28.680 --> 0:40:29.480 power of like just. 0:40:29.600 --> 0:40:32.919 Being honest that people can relate, and that's the fear 0:40:33.160 --> 0:40:33.279 of it. 0:40:33.520 --> 0:40:35.960 Yeah, just like fuck it like this when it's honest, 0:40:36.080 --> 0:40:38.880 it's true, Like who's going to check me. 0:40:39.000 --> 0:40:40.719 Yeah, we're gonna be like, well, it's the truth. What 0:40:40.840 --> 0:40:42.520 the fuck the truth? 0:40:42.560 --> 0:40:43.879 What are you going to do about it? If you're 0:40:43.920 --> 0:40:45.160 just being authentic? Yes? 0:40:45.400 --> 0:40:45.600 Yes? 0:40:45.719 --> 0:40:46.840 And also like what are you going to do? 0:40:47.239 --> 0:40:48.880 Yeah, I'm not going to get a job because I 0:40:48.920 --> 0:40:52.440 have anxiety depression, right, that's not going. 0:40:52.480 --> 0:40:54.320 Yeah, And you got to still love yourself and you 0:40:54.400 --> 0:40:56.240 got to keep you know, like you can't feel guilty 0:40:56.280 --> 0:40:58.400 about who you are. And that's I think that's the 0:40:58.440 --> 0:41:01.080 biggest one of the like, one of the biggest reasons 0:41:01.080 --> 0:41:04.879 I think we've started our podcast, like is because there's 0:41:04.920 --> 0:41:07.839 so much pressure to be one dimensional as a mother, 0:41:08.120 --> 0:41:11.080 and you know, we're human, We're so many things. 0:41:11.880 --> 0:41:12.000 You know. 0:41:12.080 --> 0:41:14.160 There's like I'm drunk right now. 0:41:16.719 --> 0:41:18.279 That's one dimension right there. 0:41:18.440 --> 0:41:19.040 That's just. 0:41:21.160 --> 0:41:24.960 In two hours, she won't be and we'll be like, oh, 0:41:25.280 --> 0:41:27.439 we're still I was fifteen minutes late. We are still 0:41:27.480 --> 0:41:30.480 productive exactly right. Yeah. And I fell on someone, but 0:41:30.560 --> 0:41:30.920 I'm here. 0:41:30.960 --> 0:41:33.560 I made it, you know, and I put yourself back 0:41:33.680 --> 0:41:36.799 up again, you know, And that's that's that's the goal. 0:41:37.040 --> 0:41:40.840 And I think like our kids need to see I 0:41:40.920 --> 0:41:43.600 always tell people, like, you want who is your child 0:41:43.680 --> 0:41:47.240 going to know some fake ass person, some unhappy person. 0:41:47.760 --> 0:41:50.040 Like I don't want my child to know the unhappy 0:41:50.160 --> 0:41:52.680 version of me. I want you to know genuinely who 0:41:52.760 --> 0:41:54.680 I am at my best, you know, like when I 0:41:54.760 --> 0:41:57.279 when I'm getting drunk on the weekends, when I'm when 0:41:57.280 --> 0:41:59.360 I'm having orgasms, you know, like. 0:41:59.440 --> 0:42:01.280 That want the child to know about your organs? 0:42:01.360 --> 0:42:03.200 No, I want her to know the best version of me. 0:42:03.239 --> 0:42:07.160 And the best version of me is having orgasms and 0:42:07.239 --> 0:42:07.880 getting drunk. 0:42:08.400 --> 0:42:11.120 I know it's not that's not the best version of your. 0:42:11.239 --> 0:42:14.480 Sometimes I read some article recently that said that you're 0:42:14.760 --> 0:42:17.359 that it's a good idea to show your kids all 0:42:17.400 --> 0:42:20.680 the emotion, even including fear and sat but how much 0:42:20.719 --> 0:42:23.839 you share of that like verbally so so like let's 0:42:23.840 --> 0:42:25.400 say you get laid off, right, you don't need to 0:42:25.480 --> 0:42:27.360 tell your kid, I'm really nervous that we're not going 0:42:27.440 --> 0:42:29.719 to have dinner on the table. But you can say, 0:42:29.960 --> 0:42:33.240 you know, mommy's nervous, and then you can say something 0:42:33.280 --> 0:42:35.200 that makes you nervous. That's maybe not that thing, and 0:42:35.280 --> 0:42:36.759 you're not like lying to your children, but you're like 0:42:37.040 --> 0:42:40.080 mommy's nervous because you know she gets nervous when she's 0:42:40.280 --> 0:42:44.920 around people she doesn't know whatever, whatever makes something honestly right, 0:42:45.000 --> 0:42:48.040 so that they understand, like they did the study that 0:42:48.160 --> 0:42:50.279 like people who don't share how they're feeling and like 0:42:50.360 --> 0:42:51.960 smile through the sad and its their kids have that 0:42:52.040 --> 0:42:54.200 fake ass smile like they don't even they don't know 0:42:54.280 --> 0:42:56.759 how to pattern emotion based on that, and that you 0:42:56.800 --> 0:42:59.200 should share the full range of your emotion within the 0:42:59.280 --> 0:43:02.800 confines of what is suitable to not make them totally. 0:43:04.120 --> 0:43:06.600 I think that's so this morning on my way out, 0:43:06.640 --> 0:43:09.600 I got into a fight with my husband, and uh, 0:43:10.800 --> 0:43:14.480 you share that well, I know it is. It's authentic. 0:43:14.600 --> 0:43:18.080 You know, we fight, we argue, and we got into 0:43:18.080 --> 0:43:20.000 a fight. He was driving me to the train to 0:43:20.080 --> 0:43:23.959 get here, and he was like, you know, you're really 0:43:24.000 --> 0:43:29.360 scaring Sebastian because I'm I feel feelings and he is 0:43:29.760 --> 0:43:34.160 very white man who does not feel things, who just 0:43:34.280 --> 0:43:37.160 kind of like swallows you know, that's how he was raised, 0:43:37.160 --> 0:43:40.160 where I'm not. I'm We we have feelings, we cry 0:43:40.239 --> 0:43:42.200 it out, we scream it out, like that's what happens 0:43:42.640 --> 0:43:45.600 in there. There's a happy middle. My way isn't necessarily 0:43:45.640 --> 0:43:46.080 the right way. 0:43:46.239 --> 0:43:46.600 His way. 0:43:46.680 --> 0:43:49.000 I definitely don't think it's the right way. There's a 0:43:49.080 --> 0:43:53.040 middle somewhere, And you know, he was like, you can't 0:43:53.080 --> 0:43:55.160 act like this in front of Sebastian, And I'm like, 0:43:55.239 --> 0:43:58.240 I'm not throwing things, I'm not screaming, I'm not calling 0:43:58.280 --> 0:44:02.080 you the names I want to call you. I'm doing better. Yeah, 0:44:02.800 --> 0:44:05.520 And I don't want him to think that it's realistic 0:44:05.640 --> 0:44:09.560 that mom and dad don't disagree. We disagree, We disagree, 0:44:09.560 --> 0:44:14.040 And I would rather he feel safe letting feelings out 0:44:14.200 --> 0:44:16.719 and talking about things, even if it comes out in 0:44:17.840 --> 0:44:21.120 not a happy way. Then he thinks he has to 0:44:21.200 --> 0:44:24.200 stifle his emotions, especially as a man, especially in like 0:44:24.320 --> 0:44:27.600 this climate that we live in. You know, a lot 0:44:27.680 --> 0:44:29.840 of the crimes against people are done by men, and 0:44:29.920 --> 0:44:31.600 they're done by men who don't know how to deal 0:44:31.640 --> 0:44:36.399 with their feelings. And I don't want him to think 0:44:36.480 --> 0:44:39.560 that that's okay, Like it's okay to feel and talk 0:44:39.640 --> 0:44:42.719 it out and move on and that's important. It's like 0:44:42.800 --> 0:44:45.160 he has to see us out and also likelve and 0:44:45.200 --> 0:44:45.760 stay together. 0:44:45.960 --> 0:44:49.440 Yes, all relationship is healthy to have a right exactly absolutely. 0:44:49.480 --> 0:44:51.920 I also think your kids also need to know. I mean, 0:44:52.200 --> 0:44:54.759 you're probably not there yet. Your your son is too. 0:44:55.600 --> 0:44:57.680 I don't know if he's entered terrible twos yet. Oh yeah, 0:44:57.760 --> 0:44:59.719 what's going on over there? My daughter waited till three, 0:44:59.800 --> 0:45:01.880 so I thought it had gotten out. I was like, oh, 0:45:01.920 --> 0:45:04.160 we skipped her three year old around. I was like, 0:45:04.239 --> 0:45:04.760 you're a bitch. 0:45:05.160 --> 0:45:10.000 Yeah, yesterday he spent a whole hour tantruming for no reason. 0:45:10.120 --> 0:45:14.279 But with that, with what you were saying, like I 0:45:14.360 --> 0:45:16.000 had a there was. We had a moment me and 0:45:16.040 --> 0:45:19.280 my daughter in the mall where she's just been fucking 0:45:19.719 --> 0:45:23.320 crying all day for nothing. Yeah, and I was in 0:45:23.400 --> 0:45:25.200 the mall and I would just fucking had it, and 0:45:25.360 --> 0:45:26.800 like I was at them. I had to get I 0:45:26.920 --> 0:45:28.680 had to go to the mall for something for work. 0:45:28.760 --> 0:45:30.160 I had to be there. I had to get it. 0:45:30.640 --> 0:45:32.840 She wanted me to pick her up. She's fucking heavy. 0:45:33.120 --> 0:45:36.440 I didn't want to pick her up. She's crying. I'm crying. 0:45:36.600 --> 0:45:40.040 At this point, people are staring at us, worrying about 0:45:40.680 --> 0:45:43.719 her safety, like they're like, does she need water? I'm like, 0:45:43.800 --> 0:45:47.520 I need, you know. And so finally I went into 0:45:47.560 --> 0:45:50.040 the dressing room and I just like cried, and I'm 0:45:50.560 --> 0:45:52.920 sitting there and she's watching me. Cry and I was like, 0:45:54.480 --> 0:45:57.239 and she was like, you're scaring me, and I was like, 0:45:57.640 --> 0:46:00.200 you're me made me cry, and like I think some 0:46:00.320 --> 0:46:03.040 parents might like your kids never should see you crying, Like, no, 0:46:03.200 --> 0:46:05.640 they need to know how. They need to know how. 0:46:06.160 --> 0:46:07.800 I mean, I'm not this is not obviously, I'm not 0:46:07.880 --> 0:46:09.200 going to act this way all the time, but like 0:46:09.360 --> 0:46:11.480 she needs to know how she affects, how her actions 0:46:11.840 --> 0:46:14.480 affect people. And I told her, I was like, when 0:46:14.560 --> 0:46:17.920 you act like that, it hurts my feelings, and she 0:46:18.160 --> 0:46:20.960 just like doesn't my mind. My daughter's terrible at apologies 0:46:21.680 --> 0:46:23.680 terror She's a tourist, very stubborn. 0:46:23.800 --> 0:46:27.440 I don't know, like I've never seen as I'm sorry 0:46:27.520 --> 0:46:28.439 you feel that way. 0:46:30.000 --> 0:46:33.920 Literally literally that's how I apologize. 0:46:34.120 --> 0:46:36.359 And so but later that, oh god, you have such 0:46:36.400 --> 0:46:37.120 a road aheadache. 0:46:37.560 --> 0:46:40.680 It's my karma. So then like the next day in 0:46:40.719 --> 0:46:43.080 the morning, she's like, Mommy, today I'll be better, and 0:46:43.160 --> 0:46:46.840 I was like, okay, baby, But they need to see that, 0:46:47.000 --> 0:46:49.919 they need to see like real human interaction. The world 0:46:50.040 --> 0:46:53.879 is not perfect. Relationship marriages aren't perfect. My parenting isn't 0:46:53.920 --> 0:46:56.480 fucking perfect. Even the other day, I yelled she was 0:46:57.040 --> 0:46:59.200 she was yelling at me, like not not even yelling, 0:46:59.280 --> 0:47:02.240 She's just like screaming about something. And then I started screaming, 0:47:02.360 --> 0:47:04.360 and then I was like, you like it, and I 0:47:04.480 --> 0:47:05.920 never really do that. But then I was like, wait, 0:47:05.960 --> 0:47:08.000 I'm thirty one, let me calm me down. You're four 0:47:09.280 --> 0:47:12.120 and I'm thirty one, and like that probably wasn't productive, 0:47:13.320 --> 0:47:14.480 but should happen. 0:47:14.920 --> 0:47:16.960 We're all flawed. And that's the other thing that our 0:47:17.000 --> 0:47:20.200 kids need to learn is like, nobody is perfect. Obviously. 0:47:20.520 --> 0:47:23.440 You know, there's a line you don't want to like 0:47:23.960 --> 0:47:26.200 beat the crap out of your kids or be abusive 0:47:26.280 --> 0:47:30.360 emotionally or anything, but like to have feelings is perfectly normal, 0:47:30.480 --> 0:47:34.640 and they need to see that to some extent, you know, 0:47:34.840 --> 0:47:37.640 Like I don't know that maybe that's the wrong perspective, 0:47:37.680 --> 0:47:38.719 but that's where I lie on. 0:47:41.560 --> 0:47:46.279 Right because we're right away, we're perfect mother exactly. But 0:47:46.320 --> 0:47:48.080 I have to say, as a parent from both of 0:47:48.160 --> 0:47:49.960 our podcasts, that's. 0:47:49.880 --> 0:47:52.640 What's really nice about both of these podcasts is like 0:47:52.840 --> 0:47:56.120 they're both very realistic, and it's both it's not you know, 0:47:56.200 --> 0:47:59.719 a bunch of people sitting there being like, isn't life perfect? 0:48:00.200 --> 0:48:02.280 Don't you just love when your child smiles? 0:48:02.360 --> 0:48:05.120 At you, like, if you don't call your child an asshole, 0:48:05.160 --> 0:48:07.680 I'm not friends with you. I mean your children are assholes? 0:48:07.800 --> 0:48:10.680 Yes, yes, yes, And they're like, how could you call 0:48:10.719 --> 0:48:13.800 your child? I'm like, yeah, we can't. There's gonna be 0:48:13.840 --> 0:48:15.320 worse things that are coming out in my mouth shortly. 0:48:15.440 --> 0:48:18.640 So if that's the cat, we're going. 0:48:18.480 --> 0:48:18.959 To be okay. 0:48:19.040 --> 0:48:20.719 Right, yeah right, you're not gonna like me. 0:48:20.960 --> 0:48:25.040 No, your episode where you asked your kids about where 0:48:25.080 --> 0:48:28.399 they came from, I was laughing. 0:48:28.239 --> 0:48:29.880 Oh yeah, what did they say? I forgot? 0:48:30.400 --> 0:48:32.600 Yeah, well they kept talking each other. 0:48:32.840 --> 0:48:33.080 Yeah. 0:48:33.600 --> 0:48:38.359 I'm strangely obsessed with uh, with childbirth. So even before 0:48:38.360 --> 0:48:40.200 I had a baby, or like, watch home birth a lot. 0:48:40.640 --> 0:48:43.160 I'm I follow a bunch of accounts. 0:48:42.800 --> 0:48:43.759 On Instagram and I. 0:48:46.560 --> 0:48:46.880 Love that. 0:48:47.680 --> 0:48:52.640 So when she like born to four, I always showed 0:48:52.640 --> 0:48:54.239 her like her birth video birth you. 0:48:57.640 --> 0:48:59.080 I wanted one to but. 0:49:00.960 --> 0:49:04.600 But I'm sure animal birth, sure a lot of child birth, 0:49:04.640 --> 0:49:06.840 to the point where other kids want to watch like 0:49:07.360 --> 0:49:08.840 other shit on YouTube. 0:49:08.640 --> 0:49:10.319 Like I want to see I want to see an 0:49:10.840 --> 0:49:14.960 elephant give birth. I want to watch birth mom. I'm like, 0:49:16.560 --> 0:49:21.680 that's my little thing. Yeah, I think it strange. And 0:49:21.760 --> 0:49:23.239 then I had to check myself, like who gives the fun? 0:49:23.239 --> 0:49:24.239 At least you know where you came from. 0:49:24.320 --> 0:49:26.560 And maybe she'll never want to have kids because I've 0:49:26.560 --> 0:49:29.279 scarred her for life, or maybe or maybe she'll won't 0:49:29.280 --> 0:49:32.320 be fucking super fearful of it when it's time and 0:49:32.480 --> 0:49:35.000 you won't have any other knowledge except this fucking screaming 0:49:35.040 --> 0:49:36.320 bitch on er. 0:49:36.560 --> 0:49:39.160 You know, how would you have a question? Because we 0:49:39.280 --> 0:49:42.320 actually we pose this question on our instagram how did you? 0:49:42.520 --> 0:49:44.640 How do you? I don't you probably haven't had this conversation, 0:49:44.760 --> 0:49:46.800 but when you plan on having this conversation because eventually 0:49:46.840 --> 0:49:48.319 your kids are going to ask you, because my daughter 0:49:48.360 --> 0:49:50.399 has asked me a few times, how did I get 0:49:50.480 --> 0:49:57.320 in your stomach? Specifically? And actually, at first I started, 0:49:59.200 --> 0:50:02.600 I started like doing this fairy tale thing, and then 0:50:02.760 --> 0:50:05.160 she knew. She was like, Mommy, I thought, we don't 0:50:05.520 --> 0:50:10.200 tell secrets. And then I was like, okay, so I 0:50:10.400 --> 0:50:12.239 like and I did. I gave like I told her 0:50:12.360 --> 0:50:15.960 like you know, mommy and Daddy loved each other, and 0:50:16.160 --> 0:50:18.640 like Daddy rubbed down my stomach and he gave me 0:50:18.640 --> 0:50:22.480 a lot of kisses, and then like and a actually 0:50:22.680 --> 0:50:24.560 she asked me again, so like after that post I 0:50:24.680 --> 0:50:27.520 kind of like felt even more inclined to really explain more. 0:50:27.560 --> 0:50:30.360 And I was like, then he planted his seed inside 0:50:30.400 --> 0:50:32.440 of my stomach and then it grew, and then you 0:50:32.560 --> 0:50:36.120 were here. But we had so many people respond with 0:50:36.200 --> 0:50:38.520 like the strangest conver like the. 0:50:38.640 --> 0:50:42.040 Strangest like a wizard came and like. 0:50:42.160 --> 0:50:47.600 It so creepy, weird as shit like, and then they 0:50:47.760 --> 0:50:49.439 like so much so that they told like one lady, 0:50:49.440 --> 0:50:51.239 I can't remember what she said, she told her kids 0:50:51.280 --> 0:50:53.080 some weird shit and then the kid went back to 0:50:53.160 --> 0:50:57.279 school and told the teacher or something, yeah, and it 0:50:57.360 --> 0:50:59.320 was like the kids were like, what the fuck is 0:50:59.360 --> 0:51:01.800 this good? Like the kid thought that he got in 0:51:01.880 --> 0:51:04.440 his mom's stomach in some strange way for a very 0:51:04.520 --> 0:51:06.880 long time up until like I think he understood probably 0:51:07.000 --> 0:51:10.200 dated him. I feel like I've dated, Like, how would 0:51:10.239 --> 0:51:13.759 you explain to your kids like how you got here? 0:51:13.960 --> 0:51:16.360 I don't know the exact terminology I would use, but 0:51:16.440 --> 0:51:18.239 I think it would be in your vein of what 0:51:18.400 --> 0:51:22.400 you described. I remember asking my mom, so, I'm a 0:51:22.520 --> 0:51:27.800 product of teen pregnancy, and my mom always it was 0:51:27.920 --> 0:51:29.880 very important for her to be very honest with me 0:51:30.000 --> 0:51:32.680 because she was like I was in the situation I 0:51:32.760 --> 0:51:35.439 was in because no one told me, no one told 0:51:35.520 --> 0:51:37.279 me how to and obviously, you know you're not going 0:51:37.360 --> 0:51:38.759 to tell a four year old like make sure you're 0:51:38.760 --> 0:51:43.879 put a condom, but let's practice, right, But like there, 0:51:44.080 --> 0:51:47.640 you know, being honest was always so it was just 0:51:47.719 --> 0:51:50.240 important to her because she didn't know how to prevent 0:51:50.360 --> 0:51:51.880 it because no one talked to her. They were just like, 0:51:51.960 --> 0:51:55.040 you don't have sex, which is also a very unrealistic thing. 0:51:56.719 --> 0:51:59.160 So I think I would always be honest. Now do 0:51:59.280 --> 0:52:02.280 I need to say, like your daddy's penis goes inside 0:52:02.320 --> 0:52:07.120 your mommy's vagina. I don't. I'm not at that point. Yeah, 0:52:07.280 --> 0:52:08.680 but I definitely would, like. 0:52:13.960 --> 0:52:15.400 It might take a long time. 0:52:16.520 --> 0:52:22.520 Hope daddy's not drunk blassus is not fun. But I 0:52:22.560 --> 0:52:25.160 think something along those lines, some kind of you know, 0:52:25.280 --> 0:52:27.800 we love each other very much, and you know, and 0:52:27.920 --> 0:52:30.680 he was an accident, so and I don't think. I 0:52:30.800 --> 0:52:34.400 also don't believe that that's a bad term. I don't. 0:52:34.520 --> 0:52:38.200 I think beautiful things can come from accidents. So I 0:52:38.400 --> 0:52:41.120 and I was an accident. So you know, I never 0:52:41.600 --> 0:52:45.080 was brought up with this notion that that's a bad 0:52:45.400 --> 0:52:48.800 thing to be that's other people's that's that's other people's, 0:52:49.080 --> 0:52:51.840 you know, preconceived notions that they're just putting on me. 0:52:52.280 --> 0:52:54.800 I don't need that. I'm happy. I'm happy being I 0:52:54.960 --> 0:52:57.320 love child, yeah, and I love my accident. 0:52:57.600 --> 0:53:00.719 So my mom is a single mom and she was 0:53:00.800 --> 0:53:02.880 a nurse, so it was like very clinical and she 0:53:02.960 --> 0:53:04.360 wanted to start it early. She didn't want me to 0:53:04.400 --> 0:53:07.080 get any bad information, so she had like medical books. 0:53:07.160 --> 0:53:09.719 I actually actually gave me the medical book right before 0:53:09.719 --> 0:53:11.040 I had a baby, and like, Mom, I know you 0:53:11.080 --> 0:53:13.920 showed it to me every year, and I remember I 0:53:14.040 --> 0:53:16.880 was obsessed with watching back to Back Three's Company and 0:53:16.880 --> 0:53:17.520 the Jeffersons. 0:53:17.719 --> 0:53:18.359 I'm a little bit. 0:53:18.320 --> 0:53:19.760 Older, but there was a company. 0:53:19.840 --> 0:53:21.840 There was a back to back, and I remember my 0:53:21.920 --> 0:53:24.960 mom was like, so now we're gonna we're gonna it 0:53:25.040 --> 0:53:26.600 was like this time of year again. We're gonna sit down, 0:53:26.640 --> 0:53:29.759 We're gonna review from like a Baby's Born book about 0:53:29.840 --> 0:53:31.480 like how babies are made. And I was like, is 0:53:31.560 --> 0:53:34.560 this gonna go past the Jefferson So I was like, 0:53:34.640 --> 0:53:36.920 you talk a lot. I was like, really, how far 0:53:37.000 --> 0:53:38.560 is this going to go? I have to make the Jefferson. 0:53:38.880 --> 0:53:39.520 It's my show. 0:53:39.640 --> 0:53:41.880 You know or and the Three's Company afterwards, Like I 0:53:41.920 --> 0:53:44.360 got to get those shows, so I knew, and I 0:53:44.480 --> 0:53:47.040 was I was like the girl that taught other girls 0:53:47.080 --> 0:53:49.400 how to wear tampons. And because my mom was like 0:53:49.440 --> 0:53:52.440 the medical lady, she didn't want any false information. I 0:53:52.560 --> 0:53:53.840 was the one that was like, that's not where babies 0:53:53.880 --> 0:53:56.640 come from, which probably people were not happy about because 0:53:56.680 --> 0:53:58.400 but my mom taught me really early, and I was like, 0:53:58.440 --> 0:53:59.880 and this is how you put a tampon in, and 0:54:00.080 --> 0:54:04.000 this is how I was that girl. So I don't know, 0:54:04.040 --> 0:54:05.200 I'll probably do something like that. 0:54:05.320 --> 0:54:06.319 I guess with my daughter. 0:54:06.440 --> 0:54:09.400 I mean I turned out okay, so you know maybe. 0:54:10.200 --> 0:54:12.600 And I always was a responsible kid. I mean I 0:54:12.640 --> 0:54:14.480 did some stupid shit and I of course, but I 0:54:14.600 --> 0:54:18.520 was like, I was like responsibly irresponsible. Does that make sense? 0:54:18.640 --> 0:54:21.720 Like even when I was being crazy, I was usually 0:54:22.239 --> 0:54:29.239 prepared crazy. Yeah, I was prepared crazy. Can I just 0:54:29.320 --> 0:54:32.360 say I thought I was a cool mom until I 0:54:32.400 --> 0:54:34.200 listened to your podcast. Yeah, I did not feel like 0:54:34.280 --> 0:54:34.799 a cool mom. 0:54:34.880 --> 0:54:36.480 I said that earlier before you got here. I was like, 0:54:37.040 --> 0:54:40.359 big takeaway, I'm not a cool mom. 0:54:40.480 --> 0:54:42.360 I'm also not convinced I ever really thought I was 0:54:42.360 --> 0:54:44.960 a cool mom. I don't think I'm like cool in general. 0:54:45.160 --> 0:54:46.359 I'm just like there. 0:54:46.680 --> 0:54:49.920 Well, I think like our podcast is very appropriately named yea, 0:54:49.960 --> 0:54:53.080 because we've made a lot of bad choices something that 0:54:53.280 --> 0:54:56.360 a lot of them turn into great choices and learning experiences. 0:54:56.800 --> 0:55:00.040 We're still learning along the way, and you know, I 0:55:00.120 --> 0:55:02.799 think instead of like looking at bad choices as like this. 0:55:03.000 --> 0:55:07.440 Like daunting, daunting, forever permanent. Of course. 0:55:08.840 --> 0:55:10.880 I could have not done that. That would be great 0:55:11.040 --> 0:55:14.560 not doing that thing, of course, that way right now, 0:55:16.719 --> 0:55:21.480 get this girl some water. Drink water. But everyone's I 0:55:21.760 --> 0:55:24.520 you know, I realized that, you know, me and Jamila 0:55:24.680 --> 0:55:27.319 as moms and as people, not everyone that can relate 0:55:27.360 --> 0:55:29.440 to us. Not everyone's going to relate to our experience, 0:55:29.440 --> 0:55:33.400 and that's totally fine. I don't expect everyone to do 0:55:33.520 --> 0:55:35.200 what we do or act how we act, And you 0:55:35.280 --> 0:55:37.279 know what, I might not act like this and next year, 0:55:37.320 --> 0:55:38.280 who knows, you know, maybe. 0:55:39.800 --> 0:55:42.239 Christians fucking baptized. 0:55:42.320 --> 0:55:45.959 I don't judge their way, but that's how I feel. 0:55:45.960 --> 0:55:49.279 I'm like, yeah, like, let's let's love and respect, Yeah, and. 0:55:51.560 --> 0:55:53.759 Respect that you know we're parents and that you know 0:55:54.000 --> 0:55:56.120 we're all I can think the end goals that we're 0:55:56.120 --> 0:55:58.560 all just trying to be better yea, and heal and 0:55:58.840 --> 0:56:01.040 like evolve, and that's and that's really all that matters, 0:56:01.080 --> 0:56:02.920 even if it takes me and Erica a really long 0:56:03.000 --> 0:56:03.640 time to get there. 0:56:04.480 --> 0:56:06.000 I was just like, I need better friends. 0:56:06.760 --> 0:56:08.720 I don't really have mom friends. 0:56:08.840 --> 0:56:09.800 Come to lay. 0:56:11.239 --> 0:56:14.399 At one point, I think we were leaving, I was like, okay, 0:56:14.400 --> 0:56:15.160 if you haven't, I. 0:56:17.680 --> 0:56:19.799 Was like, I have a few things that I can 0:56:19.880 --> 0:56:21.799 relate to and some other things that I'm like, yes, 0:56:21.880 --> 0:56:22.960 I'm so glad, I'm listening. 0:56:25.200 --> 0:56:27.160 We were leaving and I was like, you know what, Erica, 0:56:28.840 --> 0:56:32.680 you know, maybe we are crazy, Maybe we are a 0:56:32.760 --> 0:56:34.160 little absurd as mothers. 0:56:34.400 --> 0:56:37.480 This is a little fucking crazy. I don't I don't 0:56:37.520 --> 0:56:37.759 get it. 0:56:37.960 --> 0:56:41.160 But I made it to the kid's birthday part exactly 0:56:41.719 --> 0:56:44.200 in costume and costume costume. 0:56:44.600 --> 0:56:47.560 The takeaway is like being a mom doesn't change who 0:56:47.640 --> 0:56:50.440 you are. That's really right, and it can it can 0:56:50.600 --> 0:56:54.200 for the better, hopefully for all of us, but like 0:56:54.360 --> 0:56:56.600 it doesn't have to change like who you. 0:56:56.920 --> 0:57:00.359 Are before, because if you're not that stable and who 0:57:00.440 --> 0:57:03.040 you are then and go yeah, and it got it 0:57:03.200 --> 0:57:05.239 was able to be moved around so easily. 0:57:05.640 --> 0:57:08.239 Right, Well, I also think I think kids bring an 0:57:08.280 --> 0:57:14.960 opportunity for healing in your life, like the damage that 0:57:15.120 --> 0:57:18.360 has been done to us as children, the damage we've 0:57:18.840 --> 0:57:22.080 seen been that's been done to other people. Kids present 0:57:22.160 --> 0:57:26.280 this opportunity to you know, try and right those wrongs. 0:57:26.960 --> 0:57:30.040 But other than that, we're still the same person. So, 0:57:30.680 --> 0:57:32.560 you know, in most of us, unless you know you're 0:57:32.760 --> 0:57:35.520 deranged or trying to do the right thing by our kids, 0:57:37.280 --> 0:57:39.360 to sit there and be like, well, I wouldn't do that, 0:57:39.480 --> 0:57:40.760 Like okay, yeah, you wouldn't do that. 0:57:41.120 --> 0:57:41.640 I didn't ask. 0:57:43.640 --> 0:57:50.560 Yeah, so I don't know. Thank you, guys. This is 0:57:50.640 --> 0:57:51.240 really fun. 0:57:51.480 --> 0:57:53.560 Yeah, I'm so glad we were able to connect. And 0:57:53.920 --> 0:57:57.360 you guys, make sure you go check out Scary Mommy 0:57:57.680 --> 0:58:00.600 and let our listeners know where they can find your podcast. 0:58:01.480 --> 0:58:08.240 Everywhere Podcasts, Gary Mommy Speaks, Yeah, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify. 0:58:09.080 --> 0:58:10.000 Am I missing anything? 0:58:10.800 --> 0:58:14.200 All those places, all those play podcast places. 0:58:15.400 --> 0:58:15.640 Yeah. 0:58:16.840 --> 0:58:19.080 Yeah, I'm really happy we have to connect. So thank you, guys, 0:58:19.240 --> 0:58:22.760 Thank you, Thank you for not judging me wrong. 0:58:23.120 --> 0:58:25.360 I was a little jealous. Actually I'm not jealous. 0:58:25.440 --> 0:58:27.400 Honestly, I went to breakfast with my friend who was 0:58:27.440 --> 0:58:29.040 in town from l A and I was like, oh, 0:58:29.120 --> 0:58:31.720 I should have had that bloody Mary alone. 0:58:32.120 --> 0:58:32.320 Yeah. 0:58:32.840 --> 0:58:34.960 I was texting her. She wasn't answering. I'm like, you're 0:58:35.000 --> 0:58:36.400 scaring me. Where are you? 0:58:36.920 --> 0:58:38.520 I was trying to like totally cool, like why are 0:58:38.520 --> 0:58:38.880 you scared? 0:58:38.880 --> 0:58:39.000 Them? 0:58:39.040 --> 0:58:41.760 On my way I'm in transit when I was like, 0:58:43.920 --> 0:58:49.400 she's gonna kick my hast Anyway, thank you guys for 0:58:50.400 --> 0:58:51.200 for coming on. 0:58:51.800 --> 0:58:51.920 Uh. 0:58:53.080 --> 0:58:56.000 Also, if you guys are looking for anything in the 0:58:56.080 --> 0:58:57.560 women's health department. 0:58:57.640 --> 0:59:00.760 Yes, you make sure that you check out Bloomy, the 0:59:01.200 --> 0:59:07.280 world's first intimate clean wait clean intimate care market. I 0:59:07.360 --> 0:59:10.919 actually just ordered something off Bloomy, a yon egg, which 0:59:10.960 --> 0:59:14.040 I'm fucking stoked about because I've been wanting to try 0:59:14.080 --> 0:59:16.360 one for years, but I was scared. I just came. 0:59:16.560 --> 0:59:19.240 If you saw my stories, you know that it came. 0:59:19.480 --> 0:59:22.280 I saw that story. And here's my question. Is that 0:59:22.720 --> 0:59:26.360 like the the eggs they talk about in like fifty 0:59:26.400 --> 0:59:28.880 sheets of gray or does it actually have like healing? 0:59:29.240 --> 0:59:30.920 No? I think I think you're thinking of. 0:59:32.160 --> 0:59:34.760 A weighted You're thinking of a weighted egg for pelvic flame. 0:59:34.920 --> 0:59:39.200 Okay, those are like sexual where you pull them out 0:59:39.560 --> 0:59:40.360 at during. 0:59:40.400 --> 0:59:42.560 Sometimes you don't have to pull it but the. 0:59:45.240 --> 0:59:46.400 This is made of a crystal. 0:59:46.880 --> 0:59:50.480 This is rose quarts and it's supposed to activate your chakra. 0:59:50.800 --> 0:59:52.480 And also that's nice. 0:59:52.560 --> 0:59:56.680 It helps with apparently lubrication, libido, piano. 0:59:56.400 --> 0:59:57.400 I have wands. 0:59:57.760 --> 1:00:02.720 Wait, that's this one is actually to like and also 1:00:02.800 --> 1:00:06.240 to strengthen your publicore. I didn't give vaginal birth, notth 1:00:06.280 --> 1:00:09.240 if that means anything that you're screwed up. But I 1:00:09.360 --> 1:00:11.720 feel like why not? I want to be strong in 1:00:11.840 --> 1:00:12.520 all aspects. 1:00:12.560 --> 1:00:14.080 Oh, I'm going to check out Bloomy. 1:00:13.840 --> 1:00:19.040 But they also offer books. Uh, tamp organic like tampon Mela. 1:00:19.120 --> 1:00:20.200 Got a necklace vibrator? 1:00:20.240 --> 1:00:22.840 Oh yeah, because I was. I was last week. I 1:00:22.920 --> 1:00:24.160 was dating someone when I ordered it. 1:00:24.280 --> 1:00:29.320 But there's gonna be someone else. You need a vibranting 1:00:29.400 --> 1:00:30.000 necklace for it. 1:00:30.480 --> 1:00:32.040 In my mind, I was like, i'mouna better of Restaurant'm 1:00:32.040 --> 1:00:33.600 gonna have the necklace. I'm gonna be like, Oh, by 1:00:33.680 --> 1:00:34.880 the way, it's right here. 1:00:35.000 --> 1:00:38.760 It's right here. So make sure you check out app 1:00:38.760 --> 1:00:41.720 Bloomy and use Good Mom's ten for ten percent discount, 1:00:42.120 --> 1:00:44.720 and make sure you follow us on Instagram at Good 1:00:44.760 --> 1:00:48.240 Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. Join our newsletter Good Momsbad Choices 1:00:48.320 --> 1:00:52.560 dot Com and leave a fucking review and also like 1:00:52.840 --> 1:00:54.400 rate us five stars because you love us and you're 1:00:54.440 --> 1:00:56.720 listening and I know you've been listening, so stop haying. 1:00:57.160 --> 1:01:00.120 Just do it, Just do it anyway. We'll check you 1:01:00.160 --> 1:01:02.520 guys NEX Monday. Bye bye. 1:01:04.760 --> 1:01:12.360 So also interesting bookkeeping, interesting bookkeeping when a bail far 1:01:14.960 --> 1:01:20.240 babook keeping don't interesting bookkeeping