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Speaker 1: Sounds like.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, when you build mom.

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Speaker 3: We're healthy.

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Speaker 4: Welcome back to good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 4: I'm Mila and we're in New York. Bitch, you, what's up?

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Speaker 3: What's going on?

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Speaker 4: You're late?

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Speaker 3: I am late? You know what I thought all week?

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Speaker 3: And I was, I love New York.

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Speaker 5: I love Brooklyn. Look how the sun is setting on

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Speaker 5: the Brownstones. I'm going to move here. And then this morning,

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Speaker 5: when as I'm making my way to this very important

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Speaker 5: recording in fucking still like heels and I'm drunk still

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Speaker 5: and it's bright and it's hot and I'm wearing a

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Speaker 5: long sleeve shirt, I said, bitch, you can't even make

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Speaker 5: it on time in your own car. You can't move

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Speaker 5: to New York.

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Speaker 3: You're not allowed. I was like, Eric's gonna be so

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Speaker 3: mad at me. Yeah, so New York has been fun.

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Speaker 5: I feel like every time I come here I do

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Speaker 5: too much, Like I act like a child. So that's

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Speaker 5: what I'm doing right now, being very irresponsible, making bad choices.

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Speaker 4: And what we're childless right now?

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, that's what it is. It's the childlessness. I

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Speaker 5: revert to my old self.

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Speaker 3: How was your weekend?

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Speaker 4: My weekend, was great too. I spent the weekend in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I came. I came and saw you there. Well,

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Speaker 3: I came with you yet.

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Speaker 4: I have a house there, my mom's house. My mom's

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Speaker 4: house there, and I spent time there with my R

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Speaker 4: and b Bay.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, how was that?

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Speaker 4: It was interesting?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 5: I don't know, I don't like that face way interesting

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Speaker 5: good because the vibrating, the vibrating mouth.

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Speaker 3: I felt it would be like a great weekend.

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Speaker 4: That was still the thing, But I don't know, it

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Speaker 4: was just weird. I'm over. I'm just done. I just

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Speaker 4: joined Hinge today. You joined hint, Yeah, I joined Hinge

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Speaker 4: on the way here. Anyway, I want to introduce these

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Speaker 4: two ladies that we have here. We can talk about

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Speaker 4: Hinge and all that shit and my really whack profile

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Speaker 4: because Hinge is really intimidating. I'm like, am I witty enough?

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Speaker 4: I don't fucking know. We are here with Scary Mommy Speaks.

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Speaker 4: We have Carrie and Ashley here.

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Speaker 6: Hi, Hi, We're excited to be here.

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Speaker 4: Yes, we are so excited. I've actually been following Scary

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Speaker 4: Mommy for a while. I fucking love Scary Mommy. Paige

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Speaker 4: if you guys haven't checked it out, make sure you

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Speaker 4: go check out at Scary Mommy. They just keep it

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Speaker 4: all the way real. Their memes are fucking hilarious. They

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Speaker 4: just like you guys know if you if you follow us,

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Speaker 4: you'll understand Scary Mommy because they just they're just real.

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Speaker 4: This this mom shit is is fun.

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Speaker 6: It's the realistic approach. You know, there's no everything's perfect.

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Speaker 1: I hate those people.

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Speaker 6: Can we can we talk for a second. My husband

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Speaker 6: is from right around Bethlehem or from Easton Okay, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 6: So where did you go? Where were you frequenting this weekend?

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Speaker 7: So my place, I think, yea, she has a weekend

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Speaker 7: away from Mercadi and she was like, let's go to

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Speaker 7: what place?

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Speaker 6: Oh, Sesame Street, theme Park, Disney World.

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Speaker 1: But of Sesame Street.

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Speaker 5: I'm actually gonna go. And my daughter is in the

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Speaker 5: vicinity of the East Coast. She's in Philadelphia with my

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Speaker 5: dad and my grandmother. And that's my because I remember

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Speaker 5: going as a child like one time.

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Speaker 4: It was Yeah, I never was really to Same Street.

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Speaker 4: I know I was iri my daughter. Yeah, god, the Judgment.

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Speaker 6: Street.

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Speaker 4: I didn't know there was a Sesame Street. No, But

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Speaker 4: so basically my My main job is I work for

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Speaker 4: Beauty Brandon. We are are main headquarters is in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

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Speaker 4: It's very random, and so my mom is always traveling

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Speaker 4: there and so she bought a house there and it's

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Speaker 4: it's really nice. It's like kind of off in the

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Speaker 4: woods and it's kind of like a little getaway and

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Speaker 4: I never like take advantage of it.

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Speaker 6: And I already there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so I was like, I could come to the city,

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Speaker 4: but maybe, like, let me just chill out here.

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Speaker 6: And you didn't go to the sands.

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Speaker 4: I've been there, but no I didn't. I literally like

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Speaker 4: maybe left the house twice.

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Speaker 3: Let me let me give you the real really happened.

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Speaker 5: Has a Bay an R and B Bay And for

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Speaker 5: a week She's like, no, for months before this, it's

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Speaker 5: not months. She was like, I just want to go

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Speaker 5: somewhere like some are isolated and strange.

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Speaker 3: I did like a staycation.

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Speaker 5: With someone, you know, sexication, like something romantic, and I

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Speaker 5: was like, Okay, that sounds actually kind of cool. So

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Speaker 5: she was like looking for all these cool weird arabianbs

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Speaker 5: and strange places.

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Speaker 4: Colorado, Yeah, I.

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Speaker 6: Like Colorado sounds nice.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, So she finally she settles on her mom's.

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Speaker 3: In Beslaham.

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Speaker 5: She's like, oh, by the way, Imbba is going to

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Speaker 5: meet me in Bethlehem.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh okay, Like baby.

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Speaker 4: He was already in New York, so just take the

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Speaker 4: bus down.

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Speaker 3: So then she begs me to come one night. She's like,

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Speaker 3: I'm I getting scared to stay by myself.

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Speaker 5: He doesn't get there till tomorrow, so I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 5: I guess, like just pick me up and fill it,

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Speaker 5: you know.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, we can just get drunk and bethl Ham.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. But then the bitch is like, but

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Speaker 3: he's coming. He's coming like twelve, so you have to

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Speaker 3: get out down the fucking Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. But you also

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Speaker 3: want me to get out at noon, like it's like

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Speaker 3: a hotel you wait.

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Speaker 5: So then I get in the car to go and

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Speaker 5: she's like, oh, actually I gave him options, so like,

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Speaker 5: I doubt he'll get on the seven a m.

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Speaker 4: Train.

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Speaker 5: But you know what happens. We go get drunk and

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Speaker 5: tucking Bethlehem. And then the next morning, for some reason,

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Speaker 5: I'm up at six point thirty and I hear her

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Speaker 5: phone ringing from the other room.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, that motherfucker got on that seven a train.

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Speaker 3: Sure enough. She's like, so only for.

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Speaker 1: Pussy man, get on a seven am train.

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Speaker 3: And not only for dick. Will your best friend kicking

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Speaker 3: out of her house?

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Speaker 4: I did? In my defense, I said you don't have.

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Speaker 3: To leave after she already said I'm so.

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Speaker 4: I was hoping she would leave, but I just felt

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Speaker 4: like I had to say that. Like I was like,

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Speaker 4: you know, like if you have to stay, we can

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Speaker 4: figure something out. There's other rooms here. Leave.

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Speaker 6: I feel like I know I ventured a new phase

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Speaker 6: of my life because nothing is worth me getting on

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Speaker 6: a seven am train thing unless it's like is opening up.

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Speaker 8: You gave me a bunch of money.

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Speaker 4: Money. Money, that's it. Money, that's about it. Well, you

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Speaker 4: guys are in committed relationships. We are not, So we

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Speaker 4: got to do. I get it. We're trying to get

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Speaker 4: to you. We're trying to get to where you.

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Speaker 8: I mean, I'm still living in sin, but it's committed,

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Speaker 8: it's committed.

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Speaker 3: It's committed. I really like that committed sin. I just

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Speaker 3: want to be committed sin. That's my goal.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, my weekend was fine. It was fine, okay,

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Speaker 4: great fine.

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Speaker 3: Speaking of committed sin.

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Speaker 5: Since we're sinning and ship, I know you ladies both

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Speaker 5: have children.

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Speaker 3: A little younger than ours.

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Speaker 5: I was gonna say much younger, but that's because we've

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Speaker 5: had like two years of free time, and so I

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Speaker 5: feel like I can brag.

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Speaker 6: That's I'm so excited I've heard about Can.

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Speaker 4: You tell us about your kids? Tell us about you

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Speaker 4: guys where we have each other?

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Speaker 8: We have daughter name in comment? Oh yeah, so my

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Speaker 8: daughter's Luna. Sorry, I didn't mean to be like, jump

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Speaker 8: on that ship. I mean jump on that dying to

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Speaker 8: hear how why you decided to name your daughter Luna?

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Speaker 1: I mean, if you care.

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Speaker 3: To tell it sounds super stupid and hippie.

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Speaker 1: Oh mine is even stupid.

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Speaker 6: I've just met your mat.

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Speaker 5: So I'm a cancer, and cancers are considered moon children moonchild.

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Speaker 5: They always refer to cancers as moonchild. So I have

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Speaker 5: like a strange obsession with the moon and how the

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Speaker 5: moon affects the ocean and the vibrations and like, you know,

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Speaker 5: it's powerful and ship and I was like, oh, yeah, Luna,

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Speaker 5: that's gonna be my daughter's name.

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Speaker 3: That's hot, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Hot, that was your hot process. Okay, so hot?

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Speaker 5: I mean I don't know if I met hot. I

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Speaker 5: just thought it was cool. Yeah, I was cool. I

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Speaker 5: thought it was I don't know, like the name, Yeah's

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Speaker 5: Latin English.

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Speaker 6: It's a beautiful name. There's like the same reasoning for me.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 8: No, So my partner's last name is Mars, that's his

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Speaker 8: real name. So we were we were having a hard

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Speaker 8: time figuring out like what to put with that.

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Speaker 1: So we were joking.

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Speaker 4: I was like.

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Speaker 8: Plune o Mar missioned to Mars, Brune Omar, and we

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Speaker 8: were just like, name me all these things. And then

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Speaker 8: in that joke we were I was like Luna and

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Speaker 8: we were like and then the next morning we both

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Speaker 8: woke up and we're like that actually sounds awesome.

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Speaker 1: And then we conceived on the full moon.

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Speaker 8: It was a triple mood. I got to talk about

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Speaker 8: hippie I was, I was fertile, and I looked at him.

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Speaker 8: I was like, because I call myself a witch and

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Speaker 8: I was like hey, I was like, hey, you want

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Speaker 8: to make some witchy love on this triple moon? Because

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Speaker 8: it was like a full moon, strawberry moon. I forget

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Speaker 8: all the moons it was, but it's like a triple moon.

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Speaker 4: I think I remember this mood.

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Speaker 1: It was remember crazy triple moon, Remember this moon?

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Speaker 8: And I was I was like, I'm fertile on the

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Speaker 8: triple Moon. Let's make a witch. And so we decided we.

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Speaker 1: Would name her Luna Mars because we're.

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Speaker 3: Like, I'm kind of jealous. Your last name is Mars.

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Speaker 1: No my last name, but I don't have that the

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Speaker 1: last name, but he has that.

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Speaker 3: Let you guys, are you married? Do you want to

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Speaker 3: get married?

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Speaker 8: I mean maybe someday. It's like a conversation that we have.

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Speaker 8: Mostly I don't want my daughter to feel like her

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Speaker 8: parents aren't together, and I don't think that marriage means

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Speaker 8: that you're together.

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Speaker 1: I mean, my parents are married and got divorced.

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Speaker 8: So it's not like that means any But it wasn't

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Speaker 8: a priority because I'm older, he's older. So we were like,

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Speaker 8: let's get that baby out and then we'll figure out

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Speaker 8: what we want to do. Yeah, it doesn't we know,

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Speaker 8: it doesn't necessarily mean you stay together. So maybe if

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Speaker 8: it starts to become a thing, like she feels weird

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Speaker 8: or whatever, then maybe we'll we'll.

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Speaker 1: Think about it.

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Speaker 3: I do feel like I met my mom match. Because

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Speaker 3: I also think I'm a witch.

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Speaker 1: I have some witches. Mostly it's a good witch.

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Speaker 6: You did really smoked quartz.

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Speaker 1: Today, and I'm clearing.

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Speaker 8: I'm like a very very aries but I'm a Virgo

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Speaker 8: rising and a Libra something.

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Speaker 3: I'm a liberal something to I don't know the many.

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Speaker 3: What's your what's your sign? What's your story? What's your kids?

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Speaker 6: I'm a Virgo And that's about as much as I know. Technically,

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Speaker 6: I'm on the cusp of Libra.

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Speaker 3: Cusp attract each other.

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Speaker 7: I'm a cusper too, a really kind of a cusp,

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Speaker 7: I guess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when when's your March my third?

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I'm September twentieth, I told you, yeah, and

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Speaker 6: my husband's September twenty third. Yeah, so technically he's not

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Speaker 6: a cusp. But maybe maybe.

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Speaker 4: No astrology podcast we have right now, you would think

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Speaker 4: we actually we're talking, right.

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Speaker 6: I just want to say this is the most la

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Speaker 6: thing in the entire fucking world, which is not a bad.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to all that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, okay, So side story when we're in Bethlehem

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Speaker 5: taking of her wird genus.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, this is the dumbest shit ever.

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Speaker 4: But it's not dumb.

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Speaker 3: It's wonderful and I really really enjoyed it.

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Speaker 5: So we're in Bethlehem and we like, go to the

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Speaker 5: a bar where there's like Bar Louis.

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Speaker 3: It's no, no, we went to a bar before that

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Speaker 3: was like old people.

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Speaker 6: And we're like, was it the hotel bar?

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Speaker 4: No, this is this restaurant called the copper Head.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I've heard of that place.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 4: It was good at the bar, but there was.

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Speaker 5: So let's go to another bar, like as if there's

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Speaker 5: gonna be like a more popular together. So we're driving

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Speaker 5: and we're like this sounds creepy. Yeah, I'm like, oh

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Speaker 5: my god, is that is that a cemetery?

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Speaker 3: And she's like yeah, She's like, you want to go?

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Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I do you want to go?

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Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm so happy I have a friend that

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Speaker 5: wants to walk in the cemetery as growing as women

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Speaker 5: for no reason. And we pull over and we fucking

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Speaker 5: walk through the cemetery and she's like, I'm like, I'm scared.

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of scared. She's like, I thought you were

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Speaker 3: a witch.

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Speaker 4: I went I was like, where's this witch that you

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Speaker 4: see all the time? There can let's get out.

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Speaker 3: This is the beginning of Texas Chainsaw. Yeah. So that

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Speaker 3: was my side story.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm half Cuban.

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Speaker 4: We don't.

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Speaker 6: I don't funk with that stuff, you know. Like then

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Speaker 6: I start thinking about like, yeah, like when you find

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Speaker 6: like dead chickens on your doorstep or like broken plates.

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Speaker 6: Not that I've ever found a dead chicken on my doorstep,

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Speaker 6: but I know if I do, I'm in trouble.

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Speaker 1: I know what I'm doing.

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Speaker 6: The least funny thing.

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Speaker 5: You So we have an episode called you Sacrifice to What,

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Speaker 5: and it's with a shaman that's also my homide.

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Speaker 3: She's no, no, no, I'm stop there.

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Speaker 6: I totally believe in intention as long as it's like

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Speaker 6: you know, for us, it's like, well, there's always been

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Speaker 6: this preconceived notion that all like which craft type stuff

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Speaker 6: is like scary and dark, and that doesn't have to

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Speaker 6: be the case. I mean I went to a Raikie

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Speaker 6: healer and I was like, yes, tell me who's my

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Speaker 6: spirit animal? Yeah? Touch me again? Oh yeah, I totally

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Speaker 6: I vibrated. Yeah, so I'm cool with that anyway.

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Speaker 5: You know, I get into weird shit sometimes because I

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Speaker 5: think of a witch until it's time to go to

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Speaker 5: a cemetery.

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Speaker 3: So it's totally normal, okay, But back.

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Speaker 4: To what we're back to?

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Speaker 6: Oh okay, So I have a two year old son, Sebastian,

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Speaker 6: who was named after the never Ending Story. To be

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Speaker 6: completely honest, I love that. I just really loved the

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Speaker 6: name since I was a little kid, and the way

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Speaker 6: the moon goddess that was the character. Right, So I

307
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Speaker 6: guess I'm on this vein was like Bastian Bastion and

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Speaker 6: it just like really stuck with me. And yeah, that's

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Speaker 6: a I'm married. We've been together for like almost ten years,

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Speaker 6: and uh, that's it. I'm kind of boring.

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Speaker 4: Amazing, No, it's not boring. We're just we're single by accident.

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Speaker 4: I'm actually supposed to be married right now, really though

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Speaker 4: I am. My wedding last October. Bitch October what I've

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Speaker 4: never heard. I was gonna be October twenty eighth. Actually

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Speaker 4: that was my date except I woke up on October

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Speaker 4: twenty eighth when my wedding was supposed to be in

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Speaker 4: someone else's bed, and I was like, I'm alert, like

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Speaker 4: your this is today is your wedding day. We had

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Speaker 4: been broken up, oh okay for like six months at

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Speaker 4: that point, but I still had.

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Speaker 1: Like this is a good Sorry, I.

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Speaker 4: Don't add the reminder in my phone. I was like,

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Speaker 4: this is I was like, I don't know whether to

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Speaker 4: cry or be happy, Like, you're not my husband.

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Speaker 6: Are you happy you didn't marry him? Yes, then that's

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Speaker 6: all you need.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, No, it was definitely for the best. Yeah, at

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Speaker 4: the time, it didn't feel that way.

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Speaker 6: But of course, well, no breakup or ending is fun.

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Speaker 6: It always feels like shit. Yeah, even if you know

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Speaker 6: it's the right thing, it just sucks.

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Speaker 4: It does sound so just dating. Yeah, but speaking of

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Speaker 4: LA and New York and those things. I wanted to

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Speaker 4: play a little game with you guys. Okay, I don't

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Speaker 4: know what it's called East Coast versus West Coast.

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Speaker 3: I said, like Tupac Biggie, but you were that name.

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Speaker 4: So so basically, we have a list of things that

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Speaker 4: we're gonna name and you maybe you guys should take turns,

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00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,840
Speaker 4: like one says, like one answers one question, you answer

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Speaker 4: the other, and you tell me whether it's East Coast

341
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Speaker 4: or coast.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna start, actually want me to start.

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Speaker 4: Well, I don't care you start okay, okay, and try

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00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:09,160
Speaker 4: to insert quickly like don't overthink it, okay, okay, four

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Speaker 4: West Coast Doula's Last Coast spandex our Pants, East Coast,

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00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:23,720
Speaker 4: Keto Diet East Coast flip flops both really Yeah, I

347
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Speaker 4: feel like I've never seen New york As wear footfalls.

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Speaker 6: Well that's because your feet get really kind of nasty

349
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Speaker 6: and dirty. They're like black by the end of the day,

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Speaker 6: which is crud. But I definitely see it.

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Speaker 4: Okay, okay, luxury strollers East Coast, scheduled Sea section East Coast,

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Speaker 4: that's what That's what the Google said too. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 4: what the Google said. Water birth West Coast, Papa.

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Speaker 6: Squat East Coast, So you are meant to be here, babe,

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Speaker 6: Clean Squad are literally Papa squat anywhere.

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Speaker 4: It's like almost I'm like, girl, that's a bathroom.

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Speaker 1: We just need to get you a tote with a

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Speaker 1: different pair of shoes than you before.

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Speaker 4: On a she we it's always like, yes, you need

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00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 4: what is she's it's a funnel. Yeah, it's like a

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Speaker 4: fun that she's pro she's pro status yesterday, a prospect part.

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Speaker 4: She literally, I think, prefers to Papa squat versus go

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Speaker 4: to the bathroom actual stalls. Okay, I don't know. Juice

364
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:23,880
Speaker 4: cleanse uh West Coast spray Tan East Coast, Kale, East

365
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,680
Speaker 4: Coast best burgers.

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Speaker 6: East Coast bullshit. We have shake shack And if you

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Speaker 6: try to tell me in and out is better, I

368
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:36,440
Speaker 6: not need any world get in and out better than Shakeshack.

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Speaker 4: Shouldn't say five guys because I know someone tries to

370
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Speaker 4: tell me about I was like, if you don't get

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Speaker 4: that nasty garbage.

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00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 1: There's also a secret burger place in the back heart. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that one's really good.

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Speaker 6: What the burger joint?

375
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:49,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's real good.

376
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,159
Speaker 6: It's okay, it's no shake sh secret burger place on

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Speaker 6: the back of the park. That's good, right on like

378
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 6: fifty sixth Street, right by the part I don't like burgers.

379
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:07,360
Speaker 3: Well, that's silent radio literally awkward side silence.

380
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 4: Best style, Oh, who is it? Is it me? Or

381
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 4: you're not?

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00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,080
Speaker 1: Best style?

383
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,000
Speaker 4: East or West?

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00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:12,320
Speaker 6: Oh?

385
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,800
Speaker 1: I didn't know what we were East.

386
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,240
Speaker 4: Higher divorce rate mm hmm.

387
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,399
Speaker 6: I'm gonna say East Coast because I feel like on

388
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:27,119
Speaker 6: the West Coast, on the West Coast, I feel like

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00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:31,480
Speaker 6: people get like have kids without getting married more. And

390
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:34,440
Speaker 6: on the East Coast, yes exactly, and on the East

391
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,200
Speaker 6: Coast like people are doing the like well, this is

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00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,680
Speaker 6: the right thing to do, and then usually just get divorced.

393
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,040
Speaker 6: Does that make sense?

394
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:46,160
Speaker 4: Yea, yeah, but actually it's California. Really high school graduation

395
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:51,000
Speaker 4: rate East Coast California. I was shocked.

396
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Speaker 3: We have a higher rate of graduation.

397
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Speaker 1: You guys have better schools, I think, yeah, no, better

398
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:57,159
Speaker 1: public schools.

399
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,280
Speaker 4: Really, I feel like everyone. I feel like all my

400
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,119
Speaker 4: East Coast friends that are parents or even older people,

401
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 4: like they're always planning their kids future.

402
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 3: Like in the world.

403
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 1: So New York City is not all of New York State,

404
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,879
Speaker 1: right of course. So that's another thing.

405
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,400
Speaker 8: Like I always forget that, and then I go upstate

406
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,639
Speaker 8: and I'm like, this is different here, like California, Like

407
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,880
Speaker 8: there's a lot, it's very different.

408
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,680
Speaker 6: Like go go to ox Nerd ox Nerd. Yeah, yeah,

409
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,040
Speaker 6: it's like a totally different world. In LA, it's like

410
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Speaker 6: two hours.

411
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah. True.

412
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 4: Chicken pox? What is that me?

413
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 8: I think so because I just said East Coast, I

414
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 8: actually have no I had no statistical group for this one.

415
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 4: I just threw it in, like.

416
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 3: Why I think everybody gets chicken pox. I was like,

417
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 3: I never had it.

418
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 6: I've never had the chicken pox really never.

419
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Speaker 5: I think it's really strange that like back in the

420
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 5: day you used to bring kids, was like hanging out with.

421
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 4: Yes, bye, are you both take gus the chicken you do?

422
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 1: This is my chicken pock. Your first chicken pock always scars.

423
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:06,719
Speaker 3: It's God.

424
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,400
Speaker 1: I have what it's called the mama pop.

425
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 4: It's so crazy.

426
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 1: I'm the mama park. I should know that that's the

427
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:13,880
Speaker 1: mama pok right there.

428
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:14,440
Speaker 3: I don't know.

429
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:15,480
Speaker 4: That's really sick.

430
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:23,400
Speaker 6: Have you all had shingles too? Yes, people had shingles all.

431
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 3: They don't.

432
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:27,879
Speaker 4: Yes, they do.

433
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 6: Even get shingles all the time. And you can only

434
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 6: get shingles if you've had chicken.

435
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 1: But they only get shingles if you live a high

436
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:33,719
Speaker 1: stress lifestyle.

437
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 3: You only get shingles.

438
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 7: If you have everybody on the fucking East Coast you

439
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:37,959
Speaker 7: gotta take your herbs.

440
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,240
Speaker 5: Girl, Oh my god, speaking of everybody on the East Coast.

441
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 5: So I'm from California, so I smile at everyone, and

442
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 5: so I'm like walking down the street with my East

443
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,160
Speaker 5: Coast friend. I was like, yeah, that's not oddly smiling

444
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,880
Speaker 5: at families and husbands.

445
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 3: And he's like he's looking at me all strange, and

446
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,400
Speaker 3: like what he's like that guy's the cause you want

447
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:05,200
Speaker 3: to fuck them. I'm like, what this whole fucking family.

448
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: When I was in LA, maybe you want to fuck

449
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 1: the whole family.

450
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 8: When I lived in La, well, I lived back and

451
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,120
Speaker 8: forth for six years and then study for three years

452
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,920
Speaker 8: at one time. And I remember that the first the

453
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 8: three year stint, and I was like applying for jobs

454
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,639
Speaker 8: or just going out on I was an actor, so

455
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 8: I was going out and like go season everything, and

456
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 8: I remember everyone asking me if I had an anger

457
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:26,919
Speaker 8: management issue, and I'm.

458
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:27,720
Speaker 1: Like a pretty perky.

459
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 8: I'm like pretty perky and I and I was like finally,

460
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 8: after like the fourth time non related people asked me this,

461
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 8: I was like, what, I don't understand what is making

462
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,200
Speaker 8: you say that? And they're like, well, you're very aggressive,

463
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 8: and I'm like, I'm just efficient. I just don't think

464
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 8: stuff should take that long, like way to know what

465
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 8: you order before getting in line. If you don't know

466
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 8: what you want to order, don't get in line. And

467
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,439
Speaker 8: I'm like, and you're asking me questions and I'm answering

468
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 8: them in an efficient manner so as not to waste

469
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 8: anybody's time. And I just didn't realize that, Like my

470
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 8: new Yorker because I'm from here, so my New Yorker,

471
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,879
Speaker 8: like I was really being so nice, but my just

472
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 8: kind of quality of not smiling at everybody, just trying

473
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 8: to not waste anybody's.

474
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 1: Time and being really efficient.

475
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 6: But on the flip side, have you if you go

476
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,680
Speaker 6: to a bar in La, zero chance you're going to

477
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 6: make a new friend, zero chan. No one has to

478
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:24,679
Speaker 6: each other randomly in the bathroom different right, because you're

479
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 6: usually drunk and you're like, oh my god, you're so cute.

480
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 6: Oh my god, so are you? And then you know

481
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 6: that's a whole other thing. But like, you don't go

482
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 6: to bars in LA and sit next to someone and

483
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 6: just strike up a conversation where that's like a normally there.

484
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 8: It's in New York they where people have this conception

485
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 8: of New York that we're unfriendly. We're not unfriendly, we're

486
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 8: just efficient.

487
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

488
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 8: But I remember being like, it's efficiency, I'm gonna get it.

489
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 8: And I didn't get any of those.

490
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 6: Jobs, not for nothing. But every place I waited tables

491
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 6: in LA, I was like the superstar like waiter because

492
00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,680
Speaker 6: of that, because it was just like that, go, come on,

493
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 6: who's got time for the ship?

494
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah. I feel like my face was born in New.

495
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: York, faced by New York.

496
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 3: Are you friendly but my face?

497
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 4: Yeah? No, because everyone my whole life has always been

498
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 4: are you okay? Why are you so serious?

499
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 1: My daughter has the hardest restling.

500
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 4: Ditch face, my resting bitch face. I love that word. Yeah.

501
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 3: So yeah, I wish I had a better resting bitch face.

502
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm like, I'm gonna go. I'm needing more bitchy

503
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 3: for sure. Yeah, because bitches.

504
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,119
Speaker 5: Bitches get far and then I get out for like

505
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 5: eight seconds, I'm like, oh, hi, how are you?

506
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 3: Where are you from? Where's your mom from?

507
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,760
Speaker 4: I send Jamila out to do I'm like, oh go,

508
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 4: don't make friends.

509
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm like, it's supposed to be a bitch today,

510
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 3: damn it.

511
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 4: Okay, we're almost done. Best beaches, Oh definitely. Oh no,

512
00:23:58,800 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 4: you know what East Coast?

513
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 6: No? Yes, have you been to Florida? The beaches are beautiful. Basically,

514
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 6: that's not fucking up to like North Carolina. The beaches

515
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 6: are real nice.

516
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 3: She's making no heaving.

517
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 1: Been to the Hampton's you know that's cool?

518
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 4: Happened?

519
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 6: I have gone one time, and well, the beaches are

520
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 6: not nice in the Hamptons.

521
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,879
Speaker 4: I mean, West Post has beautiful beaches.

522
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 3: Just cold, it's just cold.

523
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, bed bugs New York the East. Yeah, you guys

524
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:29,360
Speaker 4: are like number two. Yeah.

525
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 6: What was number one?

526
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 4: Philly? Philly.

527
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,919
Speaker 6: Oh, that's shocking. I thought for sure would be number one.

528
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 4: Belief in the afterlife.

529
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 6: West Coast Yep, stay.

530
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 4: At home dad, East Coast?

531
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 6: Wrong, Yeah, the West Coast on that I think, I

532
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 6: know so.

533
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 1: Many stayed home deads.

534
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,719
Speaker 4: Apparently there's two hundred and forty thousand stay at home

535
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,159
Speaker 4: dads in California, which was a very shocking number to me.

536
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 3: Yeah.

537
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 4: And I was reaching researching this and in the nineteen seventies,

538
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 4: only six six people, six men in the United Wow,

539
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 4: admitted to being a stay at home.

540
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 3: It was like, I was like, wait, six percent.

541
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 4: Six people people in nineteen sixties, nineteen seventies, seventies, Wow,

542
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 4: crazy progressiveness.

543
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 1: They're probably like dudes that were laid off and were like,

544
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: all right, I'll do that.

545
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not telling anybody though, exactly best rappers.

546
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 6: East Coast.

547
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 3: It was like minus nipsy yeah, boo jobs.

548
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 6: West Coast for sure, I feel like that's tied. No,

549
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 6: have you been to Jersey?

550
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,719
Speaker 4: No? I feel like I feel for so many New

551
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 4: York book jobs, you just don't know.

552
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 6: That, yes, exactly, we're also all covered up.

553
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 1: But the like I think East Coast gets like a

554
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 1: b C. Okay, like a they get higher.

555
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, they're like the exactly, you're.

556
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,920
Speaker 4: Right apparently at the Zeller.

557
00:25:56,080 --> 00:26:00,080
Speaker 1: Yeah on Boattoks, East Coast, it's so much cheaper on

558
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:00,640
Speaker 1: the West Coast.

559
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 4: It's East Coast though, really.

560
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 1: East Coast really.

561
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 3: Maybe were great.

562
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 4: Last Wedday drinking because it's our favorite.

563
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 6: East Coast coast West Coast because you have to like

564
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 6: take ubers or drive like here, you walk around.

565
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.

566
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 6: Drinking drinking culture I feel like overall is much stronger

567
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 6: in New York.

568
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: And also we've got Boston, which has like the biggest

569
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 1: drinking culture.

570
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 4: I was for sure Borderwain alcoholic when I lived here.

571
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 3: I'm drunk right now because you're here, Can I tell you?

572
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 3: Can I tell you?

573
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 6: I'm sad I'm not on that.

574
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 3: Literally no other reason. I have no reason to be

575
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 3: drunk on Monday. Well, the reason to.

576
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 1: Be drunk on Monday is Monday.

577
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 6: Yeah exactly, Like legitimately, good, did you drink this morning

578
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 6: or you're still drunk from last night.

579
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 3: From last night.

580
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 6: Oh okay, Oh no, I didn't know.

581
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 3: I'm responsible little.

582
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 6: I hadn't listen.

583
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,159
Speaker 3: I have a drink this morning, bitch, just like three o'clock.

584
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,159
Speaker 6: If there's one person in this room who's not going

585
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 6: to judge you ever for being drunk, it is.

586
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 4: I was listening to one of your episodes and you

587
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 4: were saying, I think it was you. We were talking

588
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 4: about drinking on the train around bag round bag on

589
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 4: the train.

590
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not the drunk back the other day.

591
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 1: I don't have I don't have time.

592
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 8: Like my partner and I split childcare so far, and

593
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 8: he is the primary right now, he's the primary breadwinner,

594
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,200
Speaker 8: and so he needs to when he's working from home,

595
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 8: he needs to be able to work. So you know,

596
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 8: when I'm here, when I'm doing something else, I have

597
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,159
Speaker 8: to usually get back pretty quickly. And sometimes I'm like,

598
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:46,199
Speaker 8: I just want I just want to be alone. Yeah, yeah, well,

599
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,879
Speaker 8: I just want to remember what it was like to

600
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 8: be me without a kid, and that was I could

601
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 8: have a drink in the middle of the day with

602
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 8: my friend or whenever I damn wanted.

603
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 6: To, or I still have drinks in the middle of

604
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 6: the day though, I know, but.

605
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,440
Speaker 8: I just I just don't have time like I used

606
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 8: to be able to like go and whatever anyway, you

607
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 8: know what I mean. So sometimes I just want to

608
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,719
Speaker 8: feel that freedom and just remember I'm having a lot

609
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 8: of issues person Like I said, I've been going to

610
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 8: be nine months tomorrow. I'm having a lot of issues

611
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 8: with my identity. Like the hardest part for me of

612
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 8: being a parent. You didn't ask, but I'll tell you, Oh,

613
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:23,640
Speaker 8: Hell isn't so far her she's fabulous, Like she's she's great.

614
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 8: It's just who I am now, Like it's really like

615
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 8: fucking with my head, like trying to figure out and

616
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 8: not to be like a total yoga teacher. But I

617
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 8: know all about the ego and detaching from the ego,

618
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 8: and I thought I was more evolved than this, and

619
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 8: then you have a kid and then you're like, WHOA,

620
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 8: I was not evolved. I was not as evolved I

621
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 8: thought it was. And so my ego thing has been tricky,

622
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,239
Speaker 8: and so sometimes I just need to hang onto those

623
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 8: little nuggets as I'm trying to figure it out. I

624
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 8: need like little reminders, and sometimes that is drinking a rose,

625
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 8: you know, from a can on the subway for my

626
00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 8: fifteen minute commute, and then I'm like, I hope this

627
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 8: goes longer so I can have a second.

628
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 3: Place break down exactly.

629
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 6: I do have to tell you, I genuinely do think

630
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 6: and this is what I was saying when Sebastian turned two.

631
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 6: I do think, like by the second birthday, and you

632
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 6: guys can chime in on this, but I felt I

633
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 6: finally felt back to my old self, but like settled

634
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 6: in the new version of my old self. Maybe a

635
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 6: little bit before that, but it was like two, that's

636
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 6: she's in like the really hard the dark.

637
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, the dark yeah.

638
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 3: Too.

639
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 5: Literally, that's I say the same thing. I'm like, Okay,

640
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 5: we'll just give yourself three years. Yes, when you hear

641
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 5: you're pregnant, yep, like another four thousand years of your

642
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 5: your fucking breastfeeding.

643
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 4: Yeah.

644
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 3: And then and then you're like, oh, okay, I can

645
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 3: still be myself.

646
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,479
Speaker 5: Yeah I could still like be a hot ass MEAs

647
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 5: but also come and do stuff mom mehit on Monday. Yeah.

648
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 5: That this that that all goes away, and and it is.

649
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 5: It is a strange time where you're just like, can

650
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 5: I be the same person? Am I the same person?

651
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 6: There.

652
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 3: It's like it's like a coming of age.

653
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 8: But I also did all the things at once, like

654
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 8: I was a single lady for many years I spent

655
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 8: I've been in New York twenty years. I would say

656
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 8: almost all twenty I was just dating around like casual

657
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 8: here and there may be a one year relationship, maybe

658
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 8: a three year, but I always dumped them, like almost

659
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 8: two years, I dump and then maybe we would do

660
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 8: a do over, and never made it past two years

661
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 8: for some reason. My freak out point was like two

662
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 8: years but a lot of like randos, you know, and

663
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 8: then me a lot of randos. And then me and

664
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:45,239
Speaker 8: my guy met online and we started dating whatever. Uh

665
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 8: it was match match and I answered all the like

666
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 8: I was on match and just it was basically like

667
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 8: tender but not.

668
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 6: By the way, I never told you this. I did

669
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 6: jay date and that was the only online dating experienced.

670
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 6: And if you know me, I'm not at all dater,

671
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 6: but I did it. I just be to throw that

672
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 6: did you want a date or too? No, okay, you

673
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 6: just went on it.

674
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 4: I just went on it.

675
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 6: I got too many things saying like you're my Jewish princess.

676
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 6: I'm good, so good, thank you yeah.

677
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 8: But anyway, then we met and we dated, and then

678
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 8: we had a baby pretty pretty soon after dating. I

679
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 8: mean not soon, but pretty soon. And I never lived

680
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 8: with anybody. I'm a live alone lady, and so we

681
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 8: didn't even move in together until a month before I

682
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 8: do date.

683
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

684
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: So I moved real big, real angry, real hot, and.

685
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 8: It's a lot, and then had the baby and so like,

686
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 8: I have three roommates now and I so I did

687
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 8: all the things. So part of the identity thing is

688
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,719
Speaker 8: like I've always supported myself. I've always lived by myself.

689
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 8: I've always and now I'm like, what is this?

690
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 3: Who am I?

691
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 1: I live with somebody? Live with two people?

692
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:49,479
Speaker 2: Now?

693
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 8: One came out of my vagina, or she actually didn't,

694
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 8: she was ripped for my stomach, but still like, yeah,

695
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 8: I was like now, so that's that's also part of

696
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 8: the identity thing because I just did all the things

697
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 8: at once, and so it's a little bit dizzy and.

698
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, trying to like recalibrate because I'm so like, I.

699
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 8: Wish that we've lived in a Brownstone and I could

700
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 8: live on month learn you can live on another right,

701
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 8: because I'm a live alone kind of like, yeah.

702
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 5: The evolved, like the evolving aspect I mean of life

703
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 5: period is real. Especially I feel like after thirty you're like, yep, yeah,

704
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 5: you think you're evolved, like you did yoga four times,

705
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 5: I'm at peace with myself. And then you have a kid,

706
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 5: and like then you have like someone connected to the kid,

707
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 5: which is hopefully your partner but probably sometimes not and

708
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 5: even worse. But it's it's that ship is real. And

709
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 5: I know you like, uh, wait, which one of you

710
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 5: has like the yoga background.

711
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 3: That's me right, it's about you probably.

712
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 5: Did yoga like four hundred times probably, yeah, And still

713
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 5: it's so fucking hard.

714
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially through the mirror of like a kid.

715
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 8: Everything I do, you're like, oh, there's a person looking

716
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 8: at me doing you know, it's like wait.

717
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 4: Until they start repeating it, girl, wait until that happens.

718
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 5: It's like a beautiful it's a beautiful, fucked up like

719
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 5: mirror of yourself.

720
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, and then you have to re examine everything,

721
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 3: like am I doing a good job? Like why do

722
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 3: I care? I should care? This person cares I do this.

723
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 8: I'm sort of like I did this straight up witchy thing.

724
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 8: I'm gonna forget what data so in the Kundolini yoga tradition,

725
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 8: which is not the tradition that I practice specifically, but

726
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 8: there's a specific date where they feel the soul enters

727
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 8: the baby and it chooses the mother.

728
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 6: Oh, so do you agree with that?

729
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 8: So the baby's inside you and then on his third trimester,

730
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 8: well it's like, no, it's a one day one twenty

731
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 8: something based.

732
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 6: On the moon or is it based on like gestational period.

733
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 4: I have no idea.

734
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: I would be lying right now.

735
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 6: Twenty eighth day of the baby existing.

736
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:47,520
Speaker 8: It's like something I don't know. I think it's like

737
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 8: like you know how Kabala has those like sacred numbers.

738
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 8: I think it has something to.

739
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 1: Do with like the sacred wish.

740
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 3: She's like.

741
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 1: But anyway, so on this day they feel that there's

742
00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 1: like all of these.

743
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 8: Reincarnated soul, you know, because it's come from a Hindu tradition,

744
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 8: and they pick the mom and then it comes into

745
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 8: the So on that day, I liked had a healing session.

746
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 8: I meditated most of the day and I was like

747
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 8: trying to fall into the soul, trying to call the

748
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 8: kind of.

749
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 3: Soul that it's gonna be me.

750
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 1: So you know what I did, So aside from like,

751
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 1: I want you to be creative. I was like, and

752
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:27,920
Speaker 1: above all, please do not be a basic bitch. I

753
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,879
Speaker 1: was like, I need you to be funny. I don't

754
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 1: know how I'll relate to if you're not funny and

755
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 1: you can't roll. Also, please don't be a basic bitch.

756
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 6: And then now.

757
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:39,720
Speaker 1: Whatever, no basic bitches.

758
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 8: But then now she is the feistiest, and I'm like,

759
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 8: well I got what you asked for.

760
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 6: Yeah.

761
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 1: My partner's always like, well you said you didn't want

762
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: a basic bitch. She is not a basic bitch.

763
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 3: I was like, that is shared.

764
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,240
Speaker 1: And that he was like, yeah, no basic.

765
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,279
Speaker 6: Meanwhile, I've gone around and been like, I hope Sebastian's

766
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 6: an accountant or something that as like a four to

767
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 6: oh one K or something stable, because mommy and daddy

768
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 6: are both creative and have struggled for so long that

769
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 6: I just want you to be established in your life

770
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 6: and not struggle like by a house at twenty five.

771
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 4: You know right right that part, Oh my god, that's

772
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 4: like me too. I'm I'm like, I read, don't paint.

773
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 9: Here, here's a stethoscope, here's a spreadsheetread power is so

774
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 9: ye yes, So here's a really fun power of your

775
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 9: Christmas listen.

776
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I have two middle names. My

777
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 6: name is Ashley Melissa Danielle Heron by birth and Melissa Danel.

778
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 6: Melissa Danielle Melissa daniel are two you know, based off

779
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,879
Speaker 6: of two important people in my life. Uh obviously via

780
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 6: my parents. And it is no coincidence that those middle

781
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 6: initials are MD because my Cuban ass mother was like,

782
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 6: you're going to be a doctor. You're going to be

783
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 6: a doctor, and I the complete opposite past on television.

784
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,280
Speaker 6: I was like, no, I'm good. I don't like blood,

785
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,799
Speaker 6: I don't like long hours. We're good.

786
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 3: My initials are enough.

787
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's actually, thank.

788
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 4: You so much.

789
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 6: And also if I change my name, it will not

790
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 6: be to Melissa or Danielle.

791
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 5: Okay, So with your evolving and your yoga background, because

792
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 5: you do like yoga and mental health awareness, which is

793
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 5: bomb because everybody knows everybody's fucked up, everybody needs therapy.

794
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 5: How what do you do you have any advice on

795
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 5: how to like instill that in our kids young like

796
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 5: we're toddler age where they repeat it and they're actually

797
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 5: like kind of smarter than us.

798
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 3: It's kind of fucking.

799
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 1: Annoying because they have no filter.

800
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:45,959
Speaker 4: It's none.

801
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:48,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's your advice on that?

802
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 8: Since you're like a professional, I mean I'm not. I

803
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 8: mean I'm not a professional, but I don't know.

804
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 1: I've tried to.

805
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 8: It's like a couple of things I've done for her

806
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 8: so far. I mean she's like nine months, so like.

807
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:02,399
Speaker 1: I'm like one of those moms.

808
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 8: I'm like, well before as she was born. No, anyway,

809
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 8: I try to like instill gratitude. So even though she

810
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 8: can't tell me at the end of the day, like

811
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 8: after her a good night story, I'm always like, I'm

812
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 8: grateful for this today. I know you can't tell me

813
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 8: what you're grateful for, but maybe here's some things that

814
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 8: you're grateful for. You're grateful for that you saw your

815
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 8: friend Rocky in the park, or that whatever you got

816
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,320
Speaker 8: to you know, whatever it is. I just guess, I'm like,

817
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 8: and then you'll be able to tell me someday, you know.

818
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 8: And then I also really love that that's the last

819
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 8: thing before I put her down.

820
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 4: That's what I do.

821
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 8: And then I really and it helps me too, because

822
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 8: I need gratitude because I can be a snarky ass

823
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 8: bitch and it helps me to remember what I'm grateful for.

824
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 8: I always say that, like, if you don't have great

825
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 8: gratitude in your life, it's like waiting till last call

826
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 8: to find the guy you want to go home with.

827
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 8: Like whenever you are empty, you make terrible choices, you

828
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:49,759
Speaker 8: know you make or like when you're hungry and you

829
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 8: go to the grocery store. If you're empty, you make

830
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 8: a terrible choice. But if you're full of good stuff,

831
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,399
Speaker 8: you just only pick what's going to make you better.

832
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 8: So that I'm trying to instill that in her that

833
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 8: she doesn't have to go from the botty them, you know.

834
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 8: And then I also try to just let her feel

835
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:05,719
Speaker 8: what she's feeling, even if I don't like it. So

836
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 8: I'm like, I hear you, yeare super angry. Okay, so

837
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 8: you know you can be angry, that's okay. I just

838
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 8: I hate when people always like, just smile or whatever.

839
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 8: Why are you so angry? Why are you so angry?

840
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 8: You don't need to know why she's angry unless you're

841
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,279
Speaker 8: right exactly now, I mean, just in general, I used.

842
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: To be a nanny too.

843
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 8: I'm like, oh, celebrities, yeah, So I'm like, you know,

844
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 8: you don't always have to know while someone's angry. I

845
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 8: can't always put on I'm angry because I don't know.

846
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 8: Because I'm angry, you don't need to know, you know.

847
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 8: So those are a couple of things. And I also

848
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,800
Speaker 8: want her to know that it's okay to be depressed

849
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 8: or anxious. Those are normal things. You're not broken, You're

850
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 8: not going to have a messed up life because you

851
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 8: feel that way, and that there's things that you can

852
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 8: do to help yourself.

853
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 2: You know.

854
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 4: I don't know.

855
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 8: I just I just as a yoga teacher, I I

856
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 8: felt really weird about having anxiety and depression. I'd like

857
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 8: felt like as a yoga teacher, I shouldn't be. And

858
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 8: then one day I was just like fuck it, and

859
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 8: I started telling people that I had it. And that

860
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 8: was the moment that my whole entire life and yoga

861
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 8: practice just like burst right open. Then I found the

862
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 8: kind of students that were like my freak tribe that

863
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 8: needed to hear that, and it made me feel better.

864
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 8: I felt like I wasn't hiding or I just felt

865
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 8: like being honest in a really transparent way just blew

866
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 8: my whole life open in a great way.

867
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I think I can we both can

868
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 4: relate to that. I think starting this podcast, like I

869
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 4: felt initially going into parenthood, I really felt like I

870
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 4: had to be a certain type of way. I felt

871
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 4: like I couldn't do the things that I was doing before,

872
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,320
Speaker 4: you know, I felt like I couldn't act in certain

873
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 4: ways anymore that were not motherly.

874
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 3: Or wholesome or maybe not wholesome.

875
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 4: But I just felt like, I don't know, like you know,

876
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 4: we've talked about it.

877
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, no, for sure, there's a whole there's a

878
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 3: whole thing.

879
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,800
Speaker 8: Yeah, And it's just it was important to me that

880
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 8: I what didn't change a ton. I mean, you change

881
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,320
Speaker 8: as you have a care I don't want to be

882
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 8: I don't want to be one of those people that

883
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 8: you're like, you have no you don't even recognize them because.

884
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 4: What happened.

885
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 6: I've seen you piss yourself who.

886
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 3: Right? Cut?

887
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:20,359
Speaker 6: Yeah?

888
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

889
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 5: First of all, I think like the power of testimony

890
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 5: sounds so religious, but the power of testimony and the

891
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 5: power of like just.

892
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,919
Speaker 3: Being honest that people can relate, and that's the fear

893
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:33,279
Speaker 3: of it.

894
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, just like fuck it like this when it's honest,

895
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 5: it's true, Like who's going to check me.

896
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're gonna be like, well, it's the truth. What

897
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 3: the fuck the truth?

898
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 6: What are you going to do about it? If you're

899
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 6: just being authentic? Yes?

900
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 4: Yes?

901
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 1: And also like what are you going to do?

902
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 8: Yeah, I'm not going to get a job because I

903
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 8: have anxiety depression, right, that's not going.

904
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, And you got to still love yourself and you

905
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,240
Speaker 5: got to keep you know, like you can't feel guilty

906
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 5: about who you are. And that's I think that's the

907
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 5: biggest one of the like, one of the biggest reasons

908
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,879
Speaker 5: I think we've started our podcast, like is because there's

909
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:07,839
Speaker 5: so much pressure to be one dimensional as a mother,

910
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 5: and you know, we're human, We're so many things.

911
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 6: You know.

912
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 3: There's like I'm drunk right now.

913
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: That's one dimension right there.

914
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 4: That's just.

915
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 3: In two hours, she won't be and we'll be like, oh,

916
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,439
Speaker 3: we're still I was fifteen minutes late. We are still

917
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 3: productive exactly right. Yeah. And I fell on someone, but

918
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 3: I'm here.

919
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 5: I made it, you know, and I put yourself back

920
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 5: up again, you know, And that's that's that's the goal.

921
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 5: And I think like our kids need to see I

922
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 5: always tell people, like, you want who is your child

923
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:47,240
Speaker 5: going to know some fake ass person, some unhappy person.

924
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 5: Like I don't want my child to know the unhappy

925
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 5: version of me. I want you to know genuinely who

926
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 5: I am at my best, you know, like when I

927
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 5: when I'm getting drunk on the weekends, when I'm when

928
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 5: I'm having orgasms, you know, like.

929
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:01,280
Speaker 4: That want the child to know about your organs?

930
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 5: No, I want her to know the best version of me.

931
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 5: And the best version of me is having orgasms and

932
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 5: getting drunk.

933
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 4: I know it's not that's not the best version of your.

934
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:14,480
Speaker 8: Sometimes I read some article recently that said that you're

935
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,359
Speaker 8: that it's a good idea to show your kids all

936
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 8: the emotion, even including fear and sat but how much

937
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:23,839
Speaker 8: you share of that like verbally so so like let's

938
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 8: say you get laid off, right, you don't need to

939
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 8: tell your kid, I'm really nervous that we're not going

940
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 8: to have dinner on the table. But you can say,

941
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:33,240
Speaker 8: you know, mommy's nervous, and then you can say something

942
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 8: that makes you nervous. That's maybe not that thing, and

943
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 8: you're not like lying to your children, but you're like

944
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 8: mommy's nervous because you know she gets nervous when she's

945
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:44,920
Speaker 8: around people she doesn't know whatever, whatever makes something honestly right,

946
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 8: so that they understand, like they did the study that

947
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 8: like people who don't share how they're feeling and like

948
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 8: smile through the sad and its their kids have that

949
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 8: fake ass smile like they don't even they don't know

950
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 8: how to pattern emotion based on that, and that you

951
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 8: should share the full range of your emotion within the

952
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,800
Speaker 8: confines of what is suitable to not make them totally.

953
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 6: I think that's so this morning on my way out,

954
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 6: I got into a fight with my husband, and uh,

955
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 6: you share that well, I know it is. It's authentic.

956
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 6: You know, we fight, we argue, and we got into

957
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 6: a fight. He was driving me to the train to

958
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:23,959
Speaker 6: get here, and he was like, you know, you're really

959
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 6: scaring Sebastian because I'm I feel feelings and he is

960
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 6: very white man who does not feel things, who just

961
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 6: kind of like swallows you know, that's how he was raised,

962
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 6: where I'm not. I'm We we have feelings, we cry

963
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 6: it out, we scream it out, like that's what happens

964
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 6: in there. There's a happy middle. My way isn't necessarily

965
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 6: the right way.

966
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 4: His way.

967
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 6: I definitely don't think it's the right way. There's a

968
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 6: middle somewhere, And you know, he was like, you can't

969
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 6: act like this in front of Sebastian, And I'm like,

970
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:58,240
Speaker 6: I'm not throwing things, I'm not screaming, I'm not calling

971
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 6: you the names I want to call you. I'm doing better. Yeah,

972
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 6: And I don't want him to think that it's realistic

973
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 6: that mom and dad don't disagree. We disagree, We disagree,

974
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 6: And I would rather he feel safe letting feelings out

975
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 6: and talking about things, even if it comes out in

976
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 6: not a happy way. Then he thinks he has to

977
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 6: stifle his emotions, especially as a man, especially in like

978
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 6: this climate that we live in. You know, a lot

979
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,840
Speaker 6: of the crimes against people are done by men, and

980
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 6: they're done by men who don't know how to deal

981
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:36,399
Speaker 6: with their feelings. And I don't want him to think

982
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 6: that that's okay, Like it's okay to feel and talk

983
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 6: it out and move on and that's important. It's like

984
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 6: he has to see us out and also likelve and

985
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:45,760
Speaker 6: stay together.

986
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 1: Yes, all relationship is healthy to have a right exactly absolutely.

987
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 4: I also think your kids also need to know. I mean,

988
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,759
Speaker 4: you're probably not there yet. Your your son is too.

989
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 4: I don't know if he's entered terrible twos yet. Oh yeah,

990
00:44:57,760 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 4: what's going on over there? My daughter waited till three,

991
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 4: so I thought it had gotten out. I was like, oh,

992
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 4: we skipped her three year old around. I was like,

993
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:04,760
Speaker 4: you're a bitch.

994
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, yesterday he spent a whole hour tantruming for no reason.

995
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 4: But with that, with what you were saying, like I

996
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 4: had a there was. We had a moment me and

997
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:19,280
Speaker 4: my daughter in the mall where she's just been fucking

998
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:23,320
Speaker 4: crying all day for nothing. Yeah, and I was in

999
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 4: the mall and I would just fucking had it, and

1000
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 4: like I was at them. I had to get I

1001
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 4: had to go to the mall for something for work.

1002
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 4: I had to be there. I had to get it.

1003
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,840
Speaker 4: She wanted me to pick her up. She's fucking heavy.

1004
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 4: I didn't want to pick her up. She's crying. I'm crying.

1005
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 4: At this point, people are staring at us, worrying about

1006
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,719
Speaker 4: her safety, like they're like, does she need water? I'm like,

1007
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 4: I need, you know. And so finally I went into

1008
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 4: the dressing room and I just like cried, and I'm

1009
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 4: sitting there and she's watching me. Cry and I was like,

1010
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 4: and she was like, you're scaring me, and I was like,

1011
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 4: you're me made me cry, and like I think some

1012
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 4: parents might like your kids never should see you crying, Like, no,

1013
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 4: they need to know how. They need to know how.

1014
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm not this is not obviously, I'm not

1015
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 4: going to act this way all the time, but like

1016
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 4: she needs to know how she affects, how her actions

1017
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 4: affect people. And I told her, I was like, when

1018
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:17,920
Speaker 4: you act like that, it hurts my feelings, and she

1019
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 4: just like doesn't my mind. My daughter's terrible at apologies

1020
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 4: terror She's a tourist, very stubborn.

1021
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 8: I don't know, like I've never seen as I'm sorry

1022
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:28,439
Speaker 8: you feel that way.

1023
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 4: Literally literally that's how I apologize.

1024
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,359
Speaker 6: And so but later that, oh god, you have such

1025
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 6: a road aheadache.

1026
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 4: It's my karma. So then like the next day in

1027
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 4: the morning, she's like, Mommy, today I'll be better, and

1028
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:46,840
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, baby, But they need to see that,

1029
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,919
Speaker 4: they need to see like real human interaction. The world

1030
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:53,879
Speaker 4: is not perfect. Relationship marriages aren't perfect. My parenting isn't

1031
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 4: fucking perfect. Even the other day, I yelled she was

1032
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 4: she was yelling at me, like not not even yelling,

1033
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:02,240
Speaker 4: She's just like screaming about something. And then I started screaming,

1034
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 4: and then I was like, you like it, and I

1035
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 4: never really do that. But then I was like, wait,

1036
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 4: I'm thirty one, let me calm me down. You're four

1037
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 4: and I'm thirty one, and like that probably wasn't productive,

1038
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 4: but should happen.

1039
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 6: We're all flawed. And that's the other thing that our

1040
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 6: kids need to learn is like, nobody is perfect. Obviously.

1041
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 6: You know, there's a line you don't want to like

1042
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 6: beat the crap out of your kids or be abusive

1043
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 6: emotionally or anything, but like to have feelings is perfectly normal,

1044
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 6: and they need to see that to some extent, you know,

1045
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 6: Like I don't know that maybe that's the wrong perspective,

1046
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 6: but that's where I lie on.

1047
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 8: Right because we're right away, we're perfect mother exactly. But

1048
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 8: I have to say, as a parent from both of

1049
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 8: our podcasts, that's.

1050
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 6: What's really nice about both of these podcasts is like

1051
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 6: they're both very realistic, and it's both it's not you know,

1052
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 6: a bunch of people sitting there being like, isn't life perfect?

1053
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,280
Speaker 6: Don't you just love when your child smiles?

1054
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 8: At you, like, if you don't call your child an asshole,

1055
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 8: I'm not friends with you. I mean your children are assholes?

1056
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, And they're like, how could you call

1057
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:13,800
Speaker 1: your child? I'm like, yeah, we can't. There's gonna be

1058
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:15,320
Speaker 1: worse things that are coming out in my mouth shortly.

1059
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 1: So if that's the cat, we're going.

1060
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:18,959
Speaker 4: To be okay.

1061
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 3: Right, yeah right, you're not gonna like me.

1062
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 8: No, your episode where you asked your kids about where

1063
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:28,399
Speaker 8: they came from, I was laughing.

1064
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, what did they say? I forgot?

1065
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, well they kept talking each other.

1066
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1067
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:38,359
Speaker 5: I'm strangely obsessed with uh, with childbirth. So even before

1068
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 5: I had a baby, or like, watch home birth a lot.

1069
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 6: I'm I follow a bunch of accounts.

1070
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 3: On Instagram and I.

1071
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 4: Love that.

1072
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 3: So when she like born to four, I always showed

1073
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:54,239
Speaker 3: her like her birth video birth you.

1074
00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 4: I wanted one to but.

1075
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 5: But I'm sure animal birth, sure a lot of child birth,

1076
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 5: to the point where other kids want to watch like

1077
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 5: other shit on YouTube.

1078
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 3: Like I want to see I want to see an

1079
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 3: elephant give birth. I want to watch birth mom. I'm like,

1080
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 3: that's my little thing. Yeah, I think it strange. And

1081
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:23,239
Speaker 3: then I had to check myself, like who gives the fun?

1082
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 3: At least you know where you came from.

1083
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 5: And maybe she'll never want to have kids because I've

1084
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 5: scarred her for life, or maybe or maybe she'll won't

1085
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:32,320
Speaker 5: be fucking super fearful of it when it's time and

1086
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 5: you won't have any other knowledge except this fucking screaming

1087
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:36,320
Speaker 5: bitch on er.

1088
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 4: You know, how would you have a question? Because we

1089
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:42,320
Speaker 4: actually we pose this question on our instagram how did you?

1090
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 4: How do you? I don't you probably haven't had this conversation,

1091
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,800
Speaker 4: but when you plan on having this conversation because eventually

1092
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:48,319
Speaker 4: your kids are going to ask you, because my daughter

1093
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:50,399
Speaker 4: has asked me a few times, how did I get

1094
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:57,320
Speaker 4: in your stomach? Specifically? And actually, at first I started,

1095
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 4: I started like doing this fairy tale thing, and then

1096
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 4: she knew. She was like, Mommy, I thought, we don't

1097
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 4: tell secrets. And then I was like, okay, so I

1098
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 4: like and I did. I gave like I told her

1099
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 4: like you know, mommy and Daddy loved each other, and

1100
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 4: like Daddy rubbed down my stomach and he gave me

1101
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:22,480
Speaker 4: a lot of kisses, and then like and a actually

1102
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 4: she asked me again, so like after that post I

1103
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 4: kind of like felt even more inclined to really explain more.

1104
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:30,360
Speaker 4: And I was like, then he planted his seed inside

1105
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 4: of my stomach and then it grew, and then you

1106
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 4: were here. But we had so many people respond with

1107
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 4: like the strangest conver like the.

1108
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 6: Strangest like a wizard came and like.

1109
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 4: It so creepy, weird as shit like, and then they

1110
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:49,439
Speaker 4: like so much so that they told like one lady,

1111
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 4: I can't remember what she said, she told her kids

1112
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 4: some weird shit and then the kid went back to

1113
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:57,279
Speaker 4: school and told the teacher or something, yeah, and it

1114
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,320
Speaker 4: was like the kids were like, what the fuck is

1115
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,800
Speaker 4: this good? Like the kid thought that he got in

1116
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 4: his mom's stomach in some strange way for a very

1117
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,880
Speaker 4: long time up until like I think he understood probably

1118
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,200
Speaker 4: dated him. I feel like I've dated, Like, how would

1119
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 4: you explain to your kids like how you got here?

1120
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:16,360
Speaker 6: I don't know the exact terminology I would use, but

1121
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 6: I think it would be in your vein of what

1122
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:22,400
Speaker 6: you described. I remember asking my mom, so, I'm a

1123
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:27,800
Speaker 6: product of teen pregnancy, and my mom always it was

1124
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 6: very important for her to be very honest with me

1125
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 6: because she was like I was in the situation I

1126
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,439
Speaker 6: was in because no one told me, no one told

1127
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 6: me how to and obviously, you know you're not going

1128
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 6: to tell a four year old like make sure you're

1129
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:43,879
Speaker 6: put a condom, but let's practice, right, But like there,

1130
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 6: you know, being honest was always so it was just

1131
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,240
Speaker 6: important to her because she didn't know how to prevent

1132
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 6: it because no one talked to her. They were just like,

1133
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 6: you don't have sex, which is also a very unrealistic thing.

1134
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 6: So I think I would always be honest. Now do

1135
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:02,280
Speaker 6: I need to say, like your daddy's penis goes inside

1136
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 6: your mommy's vagina. I don't. I'm not at that point. Yeah,

1137
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 6: but I definitely would, like.

1138
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 1: It might take a long time.

1139
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 6: Hope daddy's not drunk blassus is not fun. But I

1140
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,160
Speaker 6: think something along those lines, some kind of you know,

1141
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:27,800
Speaker 6: we love each other very much, and you know, and

1142
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 6: he was an accident, so and I don't think. I

1143
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:34,400
Speaker 6: also don't believe that that's a bad term. I don't.

1144
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 6: I think beautiful things can come from accidents. So I

1145
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 6: and I was an accident. So you know, I never

1146
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 6: was brought up with this notion that that's a bad

1147
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,800
Speaker 6: thing to be that's other people's that's that's other people's,

1148
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 6: you know, preconceived notions that they're just putting on me.

1149
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:54,800
Speaker 6: I don't need that. I'm happy. I'm happy being I

1150
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:57,320
Speaker 6: love child, yeah, and I love my accident.

1151
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,719
Speaker 8: So my mom is a single mom and she was

1152
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 8: a nurse, so it was like very clinical and she

1153
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 8: wanted to start it early. She didn't want me to

1154
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 8: get any bad information, so she had like medical books.

1155
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 8: I actually actually gave me the medical book right before

1156
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 8: I had a baby, and like, Mom, I know you

1157
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 8: showed it to me every year, and I remember I

1158
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:16,880
Speaker 8: was obsessed with watching back to Back Three's Company and

1159
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 8: the Jeffersons.

1160
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:18,359
Speaker 4: I'm a little bit.

1161
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:19,760
Speaker 6: Older, but there was a company.

1162
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:21,840
Speaker 8: There was a back to back, and I remember my

1163
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 8: mom was like, so now we're gonna we're gonna it

1164
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 8: was like this time of year again. We're gonna sit down,

1165
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:29,759
Speaker 8: We're gonna review from like a Baby's Born book about

1166
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 8: like how babies are made. And I was like, is

1167
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 8: this gonna go past the Jefferson So I was like,

1168
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 8: you talk a lot. I was like, really, how far

1169
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 8: is this going to go? I have to make the Jefferson.

1170
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 4: It's my show.

1171
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 8: You know or and the Three's Company afterwards, Like I

1172
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 8: got to get those shows, so I knew, and I

1173
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 8: was I was like the girl that taught other girls

1174
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 8: how to wear tampons. And because my mom was like

1175
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 8: the medical lady, she didn't want any false information. I

1176
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:53,840
Speaker 8: was the one that was like, that's not where babies

1177
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 8: come from, which probably people were not happy about because

1178
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 8: but my mom taught me really early, and I was like,

1179
00:53:58,440 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 8: and this is how you put a tampon in, and

1180
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 8: this is how I was that girl. So I don't know,

1181
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 8: I'll probably do something like that.

1182
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:06,319
Speaker 4: I guess with my daughter.

1183
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,400
Speaker 8: I mean I turned out okay, so you know maybe.

1184
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 8: And I always was a responsible kid. I mean I

1185
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 8: did some stupid shit and I of course, but I

1186
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 8: was like, I was like responsibly irresponsible. Does that make sense?

1187
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:21,720
Speaker 8: Like even when I was being crazy, I was usually

1188
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 8: prepared crazy. Yeah, I was prepared crazy. Can I just

1189
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 8: say I thought I was a cool mom until I

1190
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 8: listened to your podcast. Yeah, I did not feel like

1191
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:34,799
Speaker 8: a cool mom.

1192
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 1: I said that earlier before you got here. I was like,

1193
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:40,359
Speaker 1: big takeaway, I'm not a cool mom.

1194
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:42,360
Speaker 6: I'm also not convinced I ever really thought I was

1195
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,960
Speaker 6: a cool mom. I don't think I'm like cool in general.

1196
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:46,359
Speaker 6: I'm just like there.

1197
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:49,920
Speaker 4: Well, I think like our podcast is very appropriately named yea,

1198
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 4: because we've made a lot of bad choices something that

1199
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:56,360
Speaker 4: a lot of them turn into great choices and learning experiences.

1200
00:54:56,800 --> 00:55:00,040
Speaker 4: We're still learning along the way, and you know, I

1201
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:02,799
Speaker 4: think instead of like looking at bad choices as like this.

1202
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:07,440
Speaker 3: Like daunting, daunting, forever permanent. Of course.

1203
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 4: I could have not done that. That would be great

1204
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 4: not doing that thing, of course, that way right now,

1205
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:21,480
Speaker 4: get this girl some water. Drink water. But everyone's I

1206
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,520
Speaker 4: you know, I realized that, you know, me and Jamila

1207
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:27,319
Speaker 4: as moms and as people, not everyone that can relate

1208
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 4: to us. Not everyone's going to relate to our experience,

1209
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:33,400
Speaker 4: and that's totally fine. I don't expect everyone to do

1210
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 4: what we do or act how we act, And you

1211
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:37,279
Speaker 4: know what, I might not act like this and next year,

1212
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:38,280
Speaker 4: who knows, you know, maybe.

1213
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 3: Christians fucking baptized.

1214
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:45,959
Speaker 1: I don't judge their way, but that's how I feel.

1215
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:49,279
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, like, let's let's love and respect, Yeah, and.

1216
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 5: Respect that you know we're parents and that you know

1217
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 5: we're all I can think the end goals that we're

1218
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 5: all just trying to be better yea, and heal and

1219
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 5: like evolve, and that's and that's really all that matters,

1220
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 5: even if it takes me and Erica a really long

1221
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 5: time to get there.

1222
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,000
Speaker 1: I was just like, I need better friends.

1223
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:08,720
Speaker 6: I don't really have mom friends.

1224
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:09,800
Speaker 4: Come to lay.

1225
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:14,399
Speaker 3: At one point, I think we were leaving, I was like, okay,

1226
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 3: if you haven't, I.

1227
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:19,799
Speaker 4: Was like, I have a few things that I can

1228
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:21,799
Speaker 4: relate to and some other things that I'm like, yes,

1229
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:22,960
Speaker 4: I'm so glad, I'm listening.

1230
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 5: We were leaving and I was like, you know what, Erica,

1231
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 5: you know, maybe we are crazy, Maybe we are a

1232
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 5: little absurd as mothers.

1233
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 3: This is a little fucking crazy. I don't I don't

1234
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:37,759
Speaker 3: get it.

1235
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 4: But I made it to the kid's birthday part exactly

1236
00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 4: in costume and costume costume.

1237
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:47,560
Speaker 6: The takeaway is like being a mom doesn't change who

1238
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:50,440
Speaker 6: you are. That's really right, and it can it can

1239
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 6: for the better, hopefully for all of us, but like

1240
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:56,600
Speaker 6: it doesn't have to change like who you.

1241
00:56:56,920 --> 00:57:00,359
Speaker 8: Are before, because if you're not that stable and who

1242
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 8: you are then and go yeah, and it got it

1243
00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:05,239
Speaker 8: was able to be moved around so easily.

1244
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,239
Speaker 6: Right, Well, I also think I think kids bring an

1245
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:14,960
Speaker 6: opportunity for healing in your life, like the damage that

1246
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 6: has been done to us as children, the damage we've

1247
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 6: seen been that's been done to other people. Kids present

1248
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 6: this opportunity to you know, try and right those wrongs.

1249
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:30,040
Speaker 6: But other than that, we're still the same person. So,

1250
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:32,560
Speaker 6: you know, in most of us, unless you know you're

1251
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:35,520
Speaker 6: deranged or trying to do the right thing by our kids,

1252
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:39,360
Speaker 6: to sit there and be like, well, I wouldn't do that,

1253
00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 6: Like okay, yeah, you wouldn't do that.

1254
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 1: I didn't ask.

1255
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:50,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, so I don't know. Thank you, guys. This is

1256
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 6: really fun.

1257
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:53,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm so glad we were able to connect. And

1258
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:57,360
Speaker 4: you guys, make sure you go check out Scary Mommy

1259
00:57:57,680 --> 00:58:00,600
Speaker 4: and let our listeners know where they can find your podcast.

1260
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 6: Everywhere Podcasts, Gary Mommy Speaks, Yeah, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify.

1261
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:10,000
Speaker 6: Am I missing anything?

1262
00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:14,200
Speaker 4: All those places, all those play podcast places.

1263
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:15,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1264
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm really happy we have to connect. So thank you, guys,

1265
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:22,760
Speaker 5: Thank you, Thank you for not judging me wrong.

1266
00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 3: I was a little jealous. Actually I'm not jealous.

1267
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 6: Honestly, I went to breakfast with my friend who was

1268
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:29,040
Speaker 6: in town from l A and I was like, oh,

1269
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:31,720
Speaker 6: I should have had that bloody Mary alone.

1270
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:32,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1271
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:34,960
Speaker 4: I was texting her. She wasn't answering. I'm like, you're

1272
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 4: scaring me. Where are you?

1273
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:38,520
Speaker 3: I was trying to like totally cool, like why are

1274
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:38,880
Speaker 3: you scared?

1275
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:39,000
Speaker 4: Them?

1276
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 5: On my way I'm in transit when I was like,

1277
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:49,400
Speaker 5: she's gonna kick my hast Anyway, thank you guys for

1278
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 5: for coming on.

1279
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 4: Uh.

1280
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:56,000
Speaker 5: Also, if you guys are looking for anything in the

1281
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:57,560
Speaker 5: women's health department.

1282
00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:00,760
Speaker 4: Yes, you make sure that you check out Bloomy, the

1283
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 4: world's first intimate clean wait clean intimate care market. I

1284
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:10,919
Speaker 4: actually just ordered something off Bloomy, a yon egg, which

1285
00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 4: I'm fucking stoked about because I've been wanting to try

1286
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 4: one for years, but I was scared. I just came.

1287
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:19,240
Speaker 4: If you saw my stories, you know that it came.

1288
00:59:19,480 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 6: I saw that story. And here's my question. Is that

1289
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 6: like the the eggs they talk about in like fifty

1290
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:28,880
Speaker 6: sheets of gray or does it actually have like healing?

1291
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:30,920
Speaker 4: No? I think I think you're thinking of.

1292
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:34,760
Speaker 1: A weighted You're thinking of a weighted egg for pelvic flame.

1293
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 4: Okay, those are like sexual where you pull them out

1294
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 4: at during.

1295
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:42,560
Speaker 6: Sometimes you don't have to pull it but the.

1296
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 1: This is made of a crystal.

1297
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:50,480
Speaker 4: This is rose quarts and it's supposed to activate your chakra.

1298
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,480
Speaker 6: And also that's nice.

1299
00:59:52,560 --> 00:59:56,680
Speaker 4: It helps with apparently lubrication, libido, piano.

1300
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 1: I have wands.

1301
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 4: Wait, that's this one is actually to like and also

1302
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 4: to strengthen your publicore. I didn't give vaginal birth, notth

1303
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 4: if that means anything that you're screwed up. But I

1304
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:11,720
Speaker 4: feel like why not? I want to be strong in

1305
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:12,520
Speaker 4: all aspects.

1306
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 6: Oh, I'm going to check out Bloomy.

1307
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:19,040
Speaker 3: But they also offer books. Uh, tamp organic like tampon Mela.

1308
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:20,200
Speaker 4: Got a necklace vibrator?

1309
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:22,840
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, because I was. I was last week. I

1310
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 3: was dating someone when I ordered it.

1311
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 6: But there's gonna be someone else. You need a vibranting

1312
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:30,000
Speaker 6: necklace for it.

1313
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 5: In my mind, I was like, i'mouna better of Restaurant'm

1314
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:33,600
Speaker 5: gonna have the necklace. I'm gonna be like, Oh, by

1315
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 5: the way, it's right here.

1316
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:38,760
Speaker 4: It's right here. So make sure you check out app

1317
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 4: Bloomy and use Good Mom's ten for ten percent discount,

1318
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:44,720
Speaker 4: and make sure you follow us on Instagram at Good

1319
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:48,240
Speaker 4: Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. Join our newsletter Good Momsbad Choices

1320
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 4: dot Com and leave a fucking review and also like

1321
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Speaker 4: rate us five stars because you love us and you're

1322
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:56,720
Speaker 4: listening and I know you've been listening, so stop haying.

1323
01:00:57,160 --> 01:01:00,120
Speaker 4: Just do it, Just do it anyway. We'll check you

1324
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:02,520
Speaker 4: guys NEX Monday. Bye bye.

1325
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 2: So also interesting bookkeeping, interesting bookkeeping when a bail far

1326
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:20,240
Speaker 2: babook keeping don't interesting bookkeeping