Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever sel.
Speaker 2: Smoking on hey in the middle of the barn. There
Speaker 2: it is, there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to
Speaker 2: another phenomenal episode of My Mama.
Speaker 3: Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the
Speaker 3: pockets of black conspiracies.
Speaker 2: And we finally worked to prove the theories that you
Speaker 2: motherfuckers have at home. It's a motherfucking mini episode.
Speaker 3: Yes, and I love Crucial Conflict.
Speaker 2: You do love Crucial Conflict.
Speaker 3: I love you Crucial. I also love Do or Die?
Speaker 3: I love you, I love your city.
Speaker 2: Listen. We all loved them for a time. We all
Speaker 2: felt deep affections for them, and Kanye was so generous Healthier.
Speaker 2: Kanye was very generous to try to bring them back
Speaker 2: into the fold. At one point, everybody loved both Crucial
Speaker 2: Conflict and Do or Die. I just don't know that
Speaker 2: everybody feels as passionately about them currently as you do.
Speaker 3: I think that from the last episode to take it.
Speaker 3: I think that they are around. I think they're wearing
Speaker 3: Pelly pellies right now. Yeah, and I'm into it.
Speaker 2: I mean, guys, yeah, you're like, I'm not turning on
Speaker 2: these guys just because they haven't made music in twenty
Speaker 2: years and good music in thirty.
Speaker 3: Listen, dog, I'm loyal. I'm still a Craig macfan. Okay, man,
Speaker 3: I'm loyal.
Speaker 2: Well, Craig Mac is still a Craig Mac fan, because
Speaker 2: I gotta assume he's sort of like, man, my voice
Speaker 2: is stupid now, huh doesn't do any of the stuff
Speaker 2: it needs to do to make a good record.
Speaker 3: I think it's difficult to be that ugly of a man.
Speaker 2: Mmmm.
Speaker 3: He was so so ugly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was big, ugly, and it does speak to
Speaker 2: I think a more beautiful time in music where you
Speaker 2: could be like gruesomely ugly and make make hit songs.
Speaker 3: And I do miss that because, like I don't we
Speaker 3: have all these hot people now, but it's like you
Speaker 3: don't think there's some ugly guys out there killing it.
Speaker 2: I think about that all the time. Like no shade,
Speaker 2: I think Beyonce truly is deserving of all of the
Speaker 2: accolades that she gets. She's a beautiful sixty year old woman,
Speaker 2: an extremely talented sixty sixty year old woman that said,
Speaker 2: I bet you there's just an ugo that would serve
Speaker 2: her ass brother who you telling that would just go
Speaker 2: out crazy on her from down the street, from where
Speaker 2: she grew up. There are an uglier girl who would
Speaker 2: put her to fucking Shane.
Speaker 3: You don't think there's a bitch working at Marshall's who could.
Speaker 2: Just just nail every dance move in a way that
Speaker 2: Beyonce can't and hit the notes. Beyonce scared of bro.
Speaker 3: She is hanging up three xcel Echo shirts right now.
Speaker 2: And not new Echo, not Echo that they're trying to
Speaker 2: revive all that stretched out Echo.
Speaker 3: Stretched out off brand. Were you an Echo guy? Were you? Oh?
Speaker 1: You?
Speaker 2: God damn right, I was an Echo guy. That rhino.
Speaker 2: I kept a Rhino on my chest.
Speaker 3: I had Echo shoes it one boy.
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't do that. No, don't do that to me.
Speaker 3: Don't do that to me. Don't let me. Don't have
Speaker 3: you out here and then you fucking.
Speaker 2: Hey, it didn't take it that far. I let Mark
Speaker 2: Echo into my.
Speaker 3: Heart, not my feet, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 3: think I might have got him out of Marshalls.
Speaker 2: Oh you had to have listen. There were those were
Speaker 2: straight to Marshall releases.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the shoes.
Speaker 2: I don't even know if they were available on the website.
Speaker 3: You know it wasn't a foot locker, that's for goddamn sure.
Speaker 2: Hell no. Can you imagine going up to one of
Speaker 2: those mean ass teenagers that ran the foot logger and saying,
Speaker 2: I'll take a pair of Mark Echo sneakers in size
Speaker 2: twelve and a half please?
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you have a do you do they run big?
Speaker 3: I need to know if these run wide?
Speaker 2: Give me your irregular Mark echos please.
Speaker 3: I hate you remembered my shoe sides.
Speaker 2: You told me like eight minutes ago.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I thought I thought it had gone down. I'm
Speaker 4: like sink German, I'm David boy.
Speaker 2: And we were so excited because we get to we
Speaker 2: get to do the ship that we do every week.
Speaker 2: We get to listen and to listen to you, the
Speaker 2: the dumb dumbs at home about your conspiracies and all
Speaker 2: the the bullshit that you've made up in your lives.
Speaker 3: I love to hear the stupid things you think.
Speaker 2: We we care deeply about the stupid things you think.
Speaker 3: Your dumb shit, you losers.
Speaker 2: You fucking dueves. Oh and that is true. Oh, it
Speaker 2: just reminded us that after years, I would say, years
Speaker 2: of deliberation and sort of uh, back and forth. We
Speaker 2: finally decided what we think we should be calling our
Speaker 2: listeners and uh and and we all feel I think
Speaker 2: we all feel pretty good about this.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, after years of discussion and doubt, we finally landed.
Speaker 2: If you are a fan of this show, you will
Speaker 2: now be referred to as Little Mama's.
Speaker 3: Brough. I got excited.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think Little Mama's is now what she'll be
Speaker 2: known as. So all you little Mama's out there were
Speaker 2: excited to hear your theories.
Speaker 3: Come on popping my little school. All the boys be jocking,
Speaker 3: they checking after school.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we gotta get one of them T shirts with
Speaker 2: Jay Z, Alicia Keys and you idiots standing back to back.
Speaker 3: I do want to say I thought that was cool.
Speaker 2: You thought what Little Mama did was cool?
Speaker 3: I did think that was cool.
Speaker 2: Say more, go ahead and explain that to me.
Speaker 3: They were doing the things. She's from New York, she
Speaker 3: was feeling it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know she doesn't belong there.
Speaker 3: Come on, I just listen. I love a grandstand, right,
Speaker 3: I love I love I love a large display of emotion.
Speaker 3: I okay, maybe not maybe cool isn't what I mean
Speaker 3: to say, but like, I get why she did that.
Speaker 2: Okay, I get why. I can I can like she
Speaker 2: hear that she was in.
Speaker 3: Front, they were going come on, and it was still
Speaker 3: jungle wis to me, that's it's exciting.
Speaker 2: I will acknowledge that this was in the height of
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say the height of Little Mama, but it
Speaker 2: was still within a bell curve of Little Mama's potential
Speaker 2: sort of like success right, Like she wasn't a complete
Speaker 2: failure by this point, which mere absolutely I would say
Speaker 2: that Little Mama has has burned. That star has burned
Speaker 2: out pretty conclusively. I'm not still planning to hear a
Speaker 2: new Little Mama song that's gonna break through the that
Speaker 2: that wall. But maybe I'm wrong, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I think that's the difference between us is still And
Speaker 3: like I said, I'm a loyal fan. I still believe
Speaker 3: in Little Mama. I think something could happen.
Speaker 2: Then, And so I guess when you say a loyal fan,
Speaker 2: you are acknowledging that you were and continue to be
Speaker 2: a Little Mama fan.
Speaker 3: Rest in peace to Hazelose.
Speaker 2: So okay, uh, that again, I think that's where we
Speaker 2: are different.
Speaker 3: It's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 2: I was never a Low Mama fan. I was at
Speaker 2: best tolerant of.
Speaker 3: Don't you come over here judging me as a Bruno
Speaker 3: Mars fan. Bruno Mars, you talk to me like that.
Speaker 2: Bruno Mars puts on a better show than any living artists.
Speaker 2: And and I dare you to prove me wrong.
Speaker 3: That said.
Speaker 2: Asaid, I don't think anybody's saying that about Low Mama.
Speaker 2: I think they're all like, yeah, that.
Speaker 3: Was that's Bro. I did. I did. I was on,
Speaker 3: I was on I'm on tour right now, and my
Speaker 3: opener is a big Bruno Mars guy, and he did
Speaker 3: play a couple and I was like, I was like, oh.
Speaker 2: Shit, bro, twenty four Magic, twenty four carry Magic is
Speaker 2: It's insane? Just play the album.
Speaker 3: Have you seen him live? Yeah? How many? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I was on Mally and I cried. It was beautiful.
Speaker 3: You cried.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, wow. And they's just having so much fun.
Speaker 2: He's so little, he's so little, and all his friends
Speaker 2: are just big black dudes who seem like cool guys.
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's just the best.
Speaker 3: It's very similar to my life.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It was just like, ah, man, this is just a
Speaker 2: little a little Filipino dude hanging out with his buddies. Hawaiian.
Speaker 3: What is he?
Speaker 2: I don't know, Jerry, And what the fuck is Brunie?
Speaker 2: I don't know where. You know he's from Hawaii, right,
Speaker 2: he's from Hawaii. But I feel like there's other mixes
Speaker 2: in there. He's just just a silly billy and you
Speaker 2: got a roof for him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, all right, that's fair. That's fair. And
Speaker 3: like I said, I heard some of the hits and
Speaker 3: I was like, damn, this is very good.
Speaker 2: I root for motherfuckers having fun. I do genuinely try
Speaker 2: to come from that position. So to your point, I
Speaker 2: do think little Mama had a good time that night.
Speaker 3: She was having a good time.
Speaker 2: I think she had a great time. I just don't
Speaker 2: think that she's ever made anything that that backs up
Speaker 2: that level of confidence. But I respect that she was
Speaker 2: having fun.
Speaker 3: I literally only know the one song My.
Speaker 2: Lip Gloss, And then there's the uh she had that
Speaker 2: other one the chicken wouldn't no chicken noodle soup? Wasn't her?
Speaker 3: Right? That was another girl. She was funny too. One
Speaker 3: ton Yeah, yeah, damn.
Speaker 2: We got an email from who I assume is also
Speaker 2: a pervert. A person named Alexandria. Alexandria sent us an email.
Speaker 2: The subject line reads, headlights mean death and they specified
Speaker 2: this is a motherfucking mini episode thing, and you don't
Speaker 2: get to designate that for us to do. You will
Speaker 2: decide when the fuck we talk about this shit, and
Speaker 2: it's not gonna be because you declared it in the
Speaker 2: subject line of your email. Alexandria, if that's in your.
Speaker 3: Real name, I mean, we're doing it now, but later.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, sure, we're following you right now. But that's
Speaker 2: our choice.
Speaker 3: That's a coincidence, you bitch.
Speaker 2: Alexandria says hi, y'all. Firstly, I was recommended the podcast
Speaker 2: and April and began listening from the first episode. It
Speaker 2: is the end. It is the end of September, and
Speaker 2: I'm already caught up to February of twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2: So y'all good or whatever. Langstey were fantastic hosts solo,
Speaker 2: and the show has only been made more hilarious by
Speaker 2: David's co hosting. Also shout out to Olivia. We stand
Speaker 2: a research queen. Greetings, salutations, sorrows, sorrows, prayers.
Speaker 3: To be fair, Langston does the research.
Speaker 2: I do. I do a fair amount of the research,
Speaker 2: but I do want to give Olivia her credit. She
Speaker 2: often comes in with that last minute hell Mary that
Speaker 2: we often need to fill it all out. So shout
Speaker 2: out to Olivia, but not too big of a shout out.
Speaker 2: She ain't doing that much of that research work.
Speaker 3: You all the steak. I'm the sizzle, buddy.
Speaker 2: You're like that that onion volcano at the Hibachi restaurant.
Speaker 3: I'm on fire.
Speaker 2: You're what we came for. I'm I'm not sure that
Speaker 2: it has any purpose, but you're absolutely why we show
Speaker 2: up to this place.
Speaker 3: Honestly, probably not gonna eat it.
Speaker 2: And surely I don't even think they used the onions afterwards.
Speaker 2: I think they just waste an onion to entertain a
Speaker 2: bunch of adults with smoke and and somehow everybody's favorite
Speaker 2: part it. Alexandria said, okay, so boom, I got my
Speaker 2: driver's license in two thousand and five and Tacoma, Washington. Yeah,
Speaker 2: shout out Tacoma.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: I distinctly, I wasn't gonna say it. I thought maybe
Speaker 2: you had a fond memory or two that you could
Speaker 2: point to, but.
Speaker 3: No, yo, I mean, it's like night's like I like
Speaker 3: it there, but it sucks.
Speaker 2: Sure, it's like the nothing going on to make you
Speaker 2: feel alive and want to keep going.
Speaker 3: You never go to a place where there's just a
Speaker 3: whole bunch of black people there for no reason. Mm,
Speaker 3: that's Tacoma, Washington.
Speaker 2: Got you like that, Like black people got trapped.
Speaker 3: Like they're just seems there's just a bunch of them
Speaker 3: over there. Nobody really knows how we got here, but
Speaker 3: we're not leaving how to get Yeah, anyways, she.
Speaker 2: Says, I distinctly remember being warned, not sure by whom,
Speaker 2: that while driving, if a car is approaching with its
Speaker 2: headlights off, not to flash my lights at them. There
Speaker 2: was a rumored gang initiation that if you flash your lights,
Speaker 2: the car would flip a yuwie, chase you down and
Speaker 2: kill you. I talked to a friend of mine for
Speaker 2: from the same area, and he said he'd heard the
Speaker 2: same thing. We laughed at the fact that to this day,
Speaker 2: at our big ages, we do not flash our lights
Speaker 2: at cars with their headlights off. Have either of you
Speaker 2: heard of this? Knowing that David grew up around the
Speaker 2: same area, I believe he once mentioned that he grew
Speaker 2: up in Federal Way slash Tacoma. Does he know about
Speaker 2: this ps white bitch get fucked or whatever Alfonso said
Speaker 2: should be a drop. Y'all are everything? Thank you for reading.
Speaker 2: Still ain't flashing my lights, Alexandria.
Speaker 3: White bitch, get fucked.
Speaker 2: Crazy, A beautiful blue eye, blond white girl.
Speaker 3: I'll be white hose.
Speaker 2: My favorite part of that video that we never really
Speaker 2: addressed is that, uh he says like every time I
Speaker 2: go to the club, I leave with and then he
Speaker 2: puts like that pregnant pause, and then the white dude
Speaker 2: goes a white bitch.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that is crazy.
Speaker 2: And then he goes on to call her like a
Speaker 2: beautiful blonde white girl. But like the dude is like bitch,
Speaker 2: It's like a stupid It's like, fuck, man, this is
Speaker 2: a bad night for everybody involved.
Speaker 3: No, that sucks. If I went to that concert, I
Speaker 3: would be like, this sucks.
Speaker 2: Right because you didn't come for Alphonso Roberto. Of course
Speaker 2: you came for that band.
Speaker 3: No one has ever gone to a concert for Alfon.
Speaker 3: Nobody is like maybe Carleton's gonna come on right, and
Speaker 3: even speech.
Speaker 2: Even in the height of the Fresh Prince, you if
Speaker 2: you went and saw Will Smith perform you weren't like
Speaker 2: I got I God, I hope he brings alfonsever.
Speaker 3: Because you know that Carlton can't rap right, or maybe
Speaker 3: he could rap crazy and that's what Smith suppressed him.
Speaker 2: Oh that he's like a better rapper and Will Smith
Speaker 2: couldn't handle that.
Speaker 3: I've often felt that Carlton was the hero of that
Speaker 3: show in a way that he never got his credit for.
Speaker 2: I'm not fighting this. I will say that that if
Speaker 2: I had to weigh who was the funniest person on
Speaker 2: that show, come on, it probably is Alfonso roberta pretty consistently.
Speaker 3: Will is kind of a dick, and I.
Speaker 2: Think Will was getting getting served up storylines that centered him.
Speaker 2: So we were rooting for Will. But if we were
Speaker 2: just talking about yo, what was the funniest part of
Speaker 2: every single episode?
Speaker 3: Always Carlton? What's Will's dance? I'm saying. And also Carlton
Speaker 3: was a real one. He held Will down. Bro Like
Speaker 3: Will was a bad cousin to Carlton, Carlton was a
Speaker 3: good cousin to Will.
Speaker 2: Carlton was gonna murder somebody.
Speaker 3: Figure he had to blame me on him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he really was gonna use it.
Speaker 3: He was gonna shoot a man. Will was never gonna
Speaker 3: shoot nobody to Carlton.
Speaker 2: Will left him in the in MacArthur Park. Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's so funny because when I moved to LA I
Speaker 3: went to MacArthur Park and I was like, I ain't
Speaker 3: shoot nobody in here.
Speaker 2: And I wouldn't I keep my gun away in Macarloy.
Speaker 3: But I just say that all that to say, like
Speaker 3: Carlton was a real one man. He was. He was
Speaker 3: a really good guy. And Will kind of sucked, which
Speaker 3: you know, I mean as far as has how life
Speaker 3: is gone. Still pretty cool guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'll find a vera cool guy.
Speaker 3: Will Smith has been a tough time And listen, I
Speaker 3: listened to his entire audio book. I know about the man?
Speaker 3: Oh did you Yeah, I have to take a walk
Speaker 3: listen to Sometimes.
Speaker 2: Well it's called something stupid, right, It's called like Will
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 3: It's like, Bro, the problem with it is like this
Speaker 3: nigga can't stop being a movie star. Yeah, you know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. So like even in the times that
Speaker 3: he chooses to be vulnerable, it's still in a way
Speaker 3: that presents him as the hero, you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 3: there's no like there's no like I just did a
Speaker 3: bad thing. There's none of that there.
Speaker 2: I've long had that issue. I think with where Will
Speaker 2: Smith has evolved into is that like so much of
Speaker 2: it is just a dude kind of always giving a
Speaker 2: motivational speech, even in the middle of like things that
Speaker 2: are are clearly his problem and not are you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? Like everything is just sort of like
Speaker 2: this planned, very sort of like strategic sale. And it's like, bro,
Speaker 2: I I don't need you to sell me on you anymore.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 2: I'm such a big fan. Just be a person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't you know, you could be a bad guy.
Speaker 3: You made Independence Day? Yeah, I don't give a ship.
Speaker 2: Yeah I bro I I showed up for Men in
Speaker 2: Black two and three knowing that ship was going to
Speaker 2: be a come on just because I like you.
Speaker 3: I low key like three come on and kind of
Speaker 3: like it. What was that?
Speaker 2: What was that eight pounds I advocated for that movie?
Speaker 3: Now you don't get it. Every single baby, come on,
Speaker 3: come on it is I was in there. I love you,
Speaker 3: I love you, and this is I met this man.
Speaker 3: I've met him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've canodled.
Speaker 3: We canoodled. We touched each other for sure in a
Speaker 3: weird way, but like you know, I know what the
Speaker 3: DIA smells like, Like what do you guys do? Fu
Speaker 3: fuck boys?
Speaker 2: Little mamas? Yeah what they are?
Speaker 3: Excuse me, I'm sorry, little mama's.
Speaker 2: Where do you had you heard of this conspiracy theory?
Speaker 3: I had? I had. I had heard it when I
Speaker 3: was a kid. I had heard it. I think definitely
Speaker 3: not from black people, from white people for sure, but yeah,
Speaker 3: I had heard. So that's why when it came up
Speaker 3: it was so interesting to me because like, yeah, I had,
Speaker 3: I had heard.
Speaker 2: It, And when you heard it, it was specifically saying
Speaker 2: that by flashing your lights and caning to turn someone's
Speaker 2: lights on, that that was that would trigger the initiation
Speaker 2: for gang members.
Speaker 3: There was like it was like that, and then there
Speaker 3: I feel like there was a few other things, like
Speaker 3: you would hear of these things that were like gang initiations,
Speaker 3: right like someone would ask you for a lighter and
Speaker 3: if you didn't have one, they would kill you because
Speaker 3: they weren't a gang and shit whoa. And then but
Speaker 3: the thing for me was as a kid seeing the
Speaker 3: other kids who were gangs, I was like, he's even stupid,
Speaker 3: Like I don't think.
Speaker 2: They're Yeah, they're not coming up with fun gangs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like they're like double guys. Bro.
Speaker 2: Yeah if they're if they're killing you, they're just gonna
Speaker 2: kill you off some dumb shit.
Speaker 3: Not. Yeah, they had to like earn it, especially if
Speaker 3: if you're if it was your family, I get it.
Speaker 3: But if not, now you're kind of a stupid guy
Speaker 3: for joining you.
Speaker 2: I also think that there is sort of like this
Speaker 2: and this is maybe more a symptom of the nineties
Speaker 2: and early two thousands than anything, but there was sort
Speaker 2: of like this mysticism around gangs that that people had
Speaker 2: built up, where like they had all these sort of
Speaker 2: like rules and initiations, and then you get older and
Speaker 2: you realize, oh, these are just teenagers. They're just all
Speaker 2: like kids being manipulated by sometimes older teenagers, and they're
Speaker 2: not there's no like history here, so whatever that initiation
Speaker 2: you've imagined them to be living under is bullshit.
Speaker 3: And it's like, bro, you ever met a gang member?
Speaker 3: Now they're currently suck.
Speaker 2: Yeah they're sleepy.
Speaker 3: Broh, your thirty gang man in what Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're mostly just like pulling their pants up and
Speaker 2: unfocused in a conversation.
Speaker 3: You're you have children. Yeah, you have children you have
Speaker 3: to take to school, you fucking idiot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we'd all love to leave our kids for
Speaker 2: for our favorite color.
Speaker 3: But of course I would love to leave David Junior
Speaker 3: to bang the Blue. I always wanted. I always thought
Speaker 3: my favorite gang members are the ones who racially don't match.
Speaker 3: Mm were It's just like you're in a Latin gang
Speaker 3: and you're a black dude. WHOA how did this happen?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Man, you grew up in a tough neighborhood.
Speaker 3: Huh. It was bad for you, for sure. It was
Speaker 3: bad for you. When they talk about be Real from
Speaker 3: Cypress Hill, he was just a blood but he's Cuban.
Speaker 3: That's interesting.
Speaker 2: It is very interesting. It's like that white Kappa, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Or Yeah, how'd you end up here?
Speaker 3: Man? We've all seen it. We've all seen them on Instagram.
Speaker 2: We've all seen him shimmy.
Speaker 3: Man, he loves it.
Speaker 2: That's said you you grew up hearing this. You certainly
Speaker 2: said it was specifically white people warning you of it.
Speaker 2: So am I to assume then that you were never
Speaker 2: afraid of this?
Speaker 3: No, because my mom had always told me you flash
Speaker 3: your lights because there's a cop.
Speaker 2: Oh wait that that you want to flash your lights
Speaker 2: because it oh you're born.
Speaker 3: You flash a cop. Oh.
Speaker 2: So this was more of like a camaraderie thing of
Speaker 2: being like, hey, there's some ship over here.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I trust my mom more than I
Speaker 3: trust you know, random white people.
Speaker 2: So wow, let me say this, and I well, first
Speaker 2: of all, yes, and and this then makes me feel
Speaker 2: like maybe this is some weird cop propaganda ship to
Speaker 2: discourage people from flashing from morning about cops by being like, no,
Speaker 2: you can't flash, because then that'll be some gang initiation.
Speaker 2: You'll get murdered in order for the cops to meet
Speaker 2: their quota and people to pull over and arrest.
Speaker 3: And shit, that's interesting because that flashy lights when there's
Speaker 3: a cop. I lived by it. That it's kept me
Speaker 3: out of tickets. I've come over hill seen somebody flasher
Speaker 3: lights and slowed down and there was a cop. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I feel like we need that, by the way,
Speaker 3: we need like shorthand it's important. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel like I grew up hearing that, like truckers
Speaker 2: on the Expressway would like when they would block off
Speaker 2: or like make it so that it was hard for
Speaker 2: cars to get by. Was part of the reason they
Speaker 2: were doing that was because of police officers that they
Speaker 2: were like essentially forewarning the cars behind them that like, hey,
Speaker 2: there's an officer on the road and you're gonna get
Speaker 2: pulled over if you're speeding and shit.
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, and now this is an oak park. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the Chicago Land area for sure. It felt like, hey,
Speaker 2: maybe the truckers are are helping us out by helping
Speaker 2: to slow down the traffic a little bit.
Speaker 3: What's funny about that is that I don't trust people.
Speaker 3: I don't trust trucktors. Mmm. I'm very afraid of them
Speaker 3: as a group. Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2: I trust them in the same way that I trust
Speaker 2: like orangutans, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Where No, I don't know what you mean at all.
Speaker 2: I think they're big old idiots. I think they're big
Speaker 2: old galoops.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I think what I'm saying is like, I'm fearful of them,
Speaker 2: but I also honor their existence. I'm glad, I'm interested
Speaker 2: in them, and I respect them, but I also would
Speaker 2: not want to spend much time with them one on one.
Speaker 3: That makes sense to me.
Speaker 2: I like a wall between us. I guess it's maybe
Speaker 2: a good way of putting it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like you don't because you don't seem like a
Speaker 3: guy who is a big animal guy. You don't see much.
Speaker 2: I love animals, I really yeah, I really like animals.
Speaker 2: Life is a cold witch of a woman and doesn't
Speaker 2: have any affection towards animals, and no one in her
Speaker 2: immediate family does. So I think it's gonna be a
Speaker 2: real uphill battle for us to ever at any point
Speaker 2: like have animals.
Speaker 3: In our home.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I love them, and my daughter loves him
Speaker 2: a fun time. That's her favorite thing.
Speaker 3: Are you guys gonna get like a dog or something?
Speaker 2: Or is it I think eventually, yes, I think right
Speaker 2: now she's she's very firm in her footing, and it's
Speaker 2: convinced it's it's not worth it. And I'm traveling too
Speaker 2: much to be able to like force a lady to
Speaker 2: like wake up dumb early to walk a dog she
Speaker 2: doesn't want. We talked about this before the pod came on,
Speaker 2: but I don't think I've ever listened to what the
Speaker 2: lady is saying back to the child. But she's saying, no,
Speaker 2: he's sleeping, and it's a bear.
Speaker 3: It's a.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very it's not don't fat the bear.
Speaker 3: No, that's so all. This is funny because I also
Speaker 3: don't I'm like your wife, I don't really care for
Speaker 3: any Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, we've talked about on the pod that you that
Speaker 2: you would murder dogs.
Speaker 3: That all right, relax.
Speaker 2: That you would curb stomp a hihuahuai.
Speaker 3: Not at all, what's happening. I don't give a ship
Speaker 3: about them, and I don't think they give a shit
Speaker 3: about us. And that's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I agree to disagree. I think that I think that
Speaker 2: they do give a shit about us. I think certain
Speaker 2: animals don't. But but dogs, oh, they give a ship.
Speaker 3: They see, that's how we evolved, right, the relationship between
Speaker 3: man man and dog that like helped us evolve a lot.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, because when men when we were sleeping, they
Speaker 3: would like they would throw yeah.
Speaker 2: And that allowed us like to get eight hours, which
Speaker 2: meant that our brains could like develop into something yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I also, I also, I will say, to be fair,
Speaker 3: to be completely truthful, I think that there might be
Speaker 3: a level of the Lady doth protest too much, And
Speaker 3: I think maybe I secretly love them so much that
Speaker 3: I don't want to open it up.
Speaker 2: Oh you're like afraid of the kind of relationship you
Speaker 2: could potentially build with an animal.
Speaker 3: It's the same way I feel about magic.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah that like you you go to the right
Speaker 2: magic show and suddenly you're a magic guy and your
Speaker 2: skin you're good. No, you finally see Chris Angel, Like,
Speaker 2: this is the funk I want to be.
Speaker 3: Play you trying to play me? Don't do that to me.
Speaker 3: I met that I'm a fucking.
Speaker 2: Mind freeing call me David mind freak bory because I'm in.
Speaker 3: I hate this, Like, what did you mean? I bet?
Speaker 3: Like maybe I think that, like ultimately, like maybe I
Speaker 3: do believe in horoscopes and things like that. That's why
Speaker 3: I rejected so hard.
Speaker 2: I could see that I've I've long maintained that I'm
Speaker 2: not one hundred percent sure that like ghosts and witchcraft
Speaker 2: and all of that stuff doesn't exist. But as long
Speaker 2: as long as I don't welcome it into my life,
Speaker 2: as long as I don't fuck around with ouiji boards
Speaker 2: and spirits and hell you know, fucking uh what's her name?
Speaker 2: Bloody Mary and ship and I'll be fine if I
Speaker 2: start dipping my toe these ships are going to start
Speaker 2: showing up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I see I seen a ghost one time.
Speaker 2: Whoa, what were you doing?
Speaker 3: Nigga? It was fucked up. I wouldn't do it anything
Speaker 3: I was in. I was in my room and I
Speaker 3: went to bed. We had been partying that night, and
Speaker 3: I went to bed, and then my friend David, I
Speaker 3: thought it looked like him, so I like, I woke
Speaker 3: up and he was standing in the corner and like
Speaker 3: you couldn't see anything, but it felt like the light
Speaker 3: of his phone was coming up. I was like, David,
Speaker 3: get out of my room. And then he didn't say nothing.
Speaker 3: I was like, nigg get out of my room. And
Speaker 3: I woke up and I turned the light on because
Speaker 3: I was gonna fight him, and then there was nobody there.
Speaker 2: God damn.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was fucked.
Speaker 2: That gave me chills.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was pretty awful.
Speaker 2: I hated that. Fuck I hated that story top to bottom.
Speaker 4: Ah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't like it either, man, God damn. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it sucked. It sucked.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, I've never had that.
Speaker 3: That was like that Will Miles story.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, when Will told us that real fucked up.
Speaker 2: So I don't even remember what it was. I had
Speaker 2: to put it out of my mind.
Speaker 3: It was it was. I mean, well you can hear
Speaker 3: it if you sign up for a big money Players
Speaker 3: platinum diamond. I don't know the difference between the all right.
Speaker 2: It's it's big money Players uncut gems.
Speaker 3: You can.
Speaker 2: You can see Will Miles tell a really haunting story
Speaker 2: about his family being I think abducted by alienation. Sure, sure, yeah,
Speaker 2: oh that's what it was.
Speaker 3: Because he was like, that's why I'm so weird, Will.
Speaker 3: It is weird in the most hilarious way. He's a
Speaker 3: very weird guy. You weird guy. I think this has
Speaker 3: been like forty minutes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we've long exceeded our quota for many episodes.
Speaker 2: But I will say, if we can wrap this bad
Speaker 2: boy up effectively, Alexandria, it sounds like, while this is
Speaker 2: probably a very popular conspiracy certainly where you guys are from,
Speaker 2: it may be more rooted in a type of like
Speaker 2: manipulation and in propaganda than it is like an actual thing.
Speaker 2: I don't think the gangs are waiting until you flash
Speaker 2: their lights to murder you or your family.
Speaker 3: This is stupid. Yeah, but I like you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you seem like a nice a nice lady Alexandria,
Speaker 2: and thanks for listening. Yeah, that's nice of you.
Speaker 3: We did it.
Speaker 2: We did it.
Speaker 3: Do you have do you? I'm taking it now? Do
Speaker 3: you have anythig that you want to tell the people about?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 2: Boy, am I glad you took it? Uh? Yeah, if
Speaker 2: you want to see me live, uh, October twentieth through
Speaker 2: the twenty first, I'll be a Dead Crow Comedy Room
Speaker 2: in Wilmington, North Carolina, and then November tenth and eleventh,
Speaker 2: I'll be in Burlington all the the incton's I'm visiting
Speaker 2: right now. October tenth and eleventh, I'll be in Burlington,
Speaker 2: Vermont for the Vermont Comedy Club, and then finally November
Speaker 2: seventeenth through eighteenth, I'll be at Hyenas Comedy Club in Dallas, Texas.
Speaker 2: I would love to see you at all of those,
Speaker 2: and as always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman.
Speaker 3: I'm David Bori, go to I'm on the Aluminum, don't lie.
Speaker 3: I'm on tour right now. You can see me at Springfield,
Speaker 3: Missouri October twelfth, Saint Louis, Missouri, October thirteenth and fourteenth,
Speaker 3: New York City October twenty first, Worcestern, Massachusetts, October twenty second,
Speaker 3: Kansas City, Missouri, twenty fifth, Soup Falls, South Dakota October
Speaker 3: twenty sixth, and then Minneapolis, Minnesota, October twenty seventh and
Speaker 3: twenty eighth. Please come, I really it's nice to see you, guys.
Speaker 3: I love that you buy merchandise for me so my
Speaker 3: baby can eat.
Speaker 2: You gotta feed his baby, and you gotta buy the
Speaker 2: merch to do it. So please go and do that.
Speaker 2: And as always, if you want to send us your
Speaker 2: own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to
Speaker 2: tell us what the real initiations are for gangs, send
Speaker 2: it all to mymama pod at gmail dot com. We
Speaker 2: would love to hear from you. And apparently we are
Speaker 2: mirror a whisper, a small little drip drop away from
Speaker 2: hitting the two thousand subscribers on YouTube. I don't know
Speaker 2: which is not great. I don't think either of us
Speaker 2: are excited about it, but we are. I guess form
Speaker 2: we are. We are legally obligated to encourage you to
Speaker 2: keep subscribing. Yeah, so subscribe, I guess keep subscribing. And uh,
Speaker 2: and that's that's the whole thing. Bye, bitch.
Speaker 1: Well, the fucking mini your soul Mani EVI so well,
Speaker 1: the fucking mini your sol well, the fucking Minnie Self
Speaker 1: Mini episode, all the fucking Mini ever Self
Speaker 3: Mhm