00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. 00:00:17 Speaker 2: But you're a guess to my home. You gotta come to be empty, and. 00:00:25 Speaker 1: I said, no, guess your own presences, presents, and I already had too much stuff. 00:00:35 Speaker 2: So how did you dare to sbey me? 00:00:48 Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineger. I hope you're feeling well. I hope things are just you're having a nice day. I read earlier this morning that beans are having a moment, so that's something to keep an eye out for. I would say my favorite bean is the pinto bean. See that a lot in Mexican food. If you have a favorite bean, probably don't let me know. But if you don't have a favorite bean, that might be something you think about today. 00:01:24 Speaker 2: Anyway. 00:01:25 Speaker 3: Look, I want to get to my guest because I adore her. It's a Saturday. She's just you know, she's here. She is probably shouldn't be here, she should be enjoying her day. It's Janelle James. 00:01:41 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm over here dyeing. Hello. I'm so happy you're here. Your voice listening to you like you always sound so shady. I love it so much. I love it so much. Okay, we were together. 00:01:57 Speaker 3: Yes, we wrote on Black Monday that was cool, which people can see on showtime. They can see you in the show. 00:02:06 Speaker 2: Unbelievable, my first acting thing in my jiggy. How did you feel about it? I think I was in a daze. I was just like, don't fuck this up, like that's really I don't even know if I got to enjoy it because I was just so like, first of all, it wasn't I didn't get the job thinking I was going to be on the show, you know what I mean. So I was already so like what that was the whole experience for me? What like, just like, don't you don't like, I know, I played it mad cool. I know I played it cool, but I was freaking out. Of course. I didn't feel like out of body all this or just like it's just in me. I'm joys like I guess I was acting because I couldn't even Yeah, I couldn't even stay in my body. I was freaking out. 00:02:48 Speaker 3: And you're like in it's a lot of shows now like you just basically play yourself or whatever. 00:02:53 Speaker 2: This you were like in a full God, what the fuck? I still can't believe it. I can't believe they trusted me. 00:03:00 Speaker 3: I do. 00:03:01 Speaker 2: I can totally believe it. I'm still in shock. 00:03:05 Speaker 3: Yeah right, uh, And you played Choice, who's like a like a lady in the office, and my memory is so poor I can't but you have like a pretty pivotal role with it. I mean, like you like your accent, you accent, you're moving around, You're not just saying lines, You're It's ridiculous. 00:03:25 Speaker 2: I cannot believe it, and I can't believe I did it. I'm real, real proud of myself. It just shows what you can do when you're like a state of shaka. 00:03:34 Speaker 3: You just work through that ship. It's probably better that way. You're just not thinking at all. 00:03:39 Speaker 2: I really wasn't. I was just like, do not embarrass yourself, don't fuck up this opportunity. Were there any especially difficult parts for you. Well, there's a part where Regina Hall like yelled in my face and I had to do it like nine times, and she was genuinely scaring me at some point. That's how good an actress she is. I was like, goddamn, I don't think it was written that hard. But anyway, So that was yeah, and this was Was it genuinely your first acting drum? Yeah, where I wasn't playing a stand up Wow, that's why, like just doing my own comedy camera. 00:04:13 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy, that's crat. That's what I'm telling you because to throw you into this thing. But I think that just. 00:04:20 Speaker 2: Goes David, our showrunner, who was so cool about because remember it started off somebody suggested like, oh, Jane's was playing that part us and then I was like, ha ha, I really never believe it. And you guys that's why that job was so cool for me, Like you guys were like, oh, Joyce should also say that, Like you guys were giving me. 00:04:40 Speaker 3: It was really the whole time just trying to say things about it. So I'm not kidding. It's like we have to keep this on the table. 00:04:46 Speaker 2: So it went from something where I might have just popped in and said one line to this whole thing, which is just again nuts to me. Are you embarrassed to watch yourself? I don't watch myself to anything. It's so cringey. Do you like to hear your voice? No, well it depends. I don't know if I like we gotten used to it though, right, Yeah, I only listen to my things. When I first started staying up, I used to listen to every sad you know, take notes, and then now I'm like, oh, shut up, like I so it's it's uh, it's changed. I only listen to things I feel like I have to listen to. Now my thing is going to be stopped giggling. I giggle too, but nobody has. I don't think anyone has. I did a podcast just recently for like, for Netflix, and my laugh is the divisive the divisive topic. People like. People love it, like making my ring tone like gigg only other people are like this bitch should die, like if she laughs one, we're time like it's so harsh. 00:05:48 Speaker 3: I think it's incredible. I think it's such a nice just makes everybody happen. 00:05:52 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's uh. The laugh itself is how much I laugh I laugh or not. I don't know. I think it's anyway trying to steal my joy. 00:06:01 Speaker 3: Well, look, look I want to talk about the moment I from the moment I met you, I loved you, but the moment I fell in love with you? What's the moment you found an egg in your pa? Is that okay to talk about publicly. Sure, Hell, so do you want to explain it? Or I feel like you probably have a better hold off the situation. 00:06:27 Speaker 2: It's not a whole explanation. It's not a thing. I just like Heaven's snacks on the go, and I guess something portable, and you know, but I think that day what happened was I forgot I had an egg because it's not in there long. You know, it's like one of those oh I don't have time to eat breakfast, I'll eat it in the car or walking in you know, in New York walking to the trap, I will eat a boy. I guess this is like residual of New York. This feels like New York. You just have to have things in your pockets. I guess. 00:07:01 Speaker 3: Yeah, so you were like in the office, So how long has the egg been in there? 00:07:05 Speaker 2: Who knows? A determined mountains? It could have been from the last season. 00:07:13 Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember, there was like genuine shock. Had no idea this egg had been in your pocket. 00:07:18 Speaker 2: Because I think I had told a story about having a meatball in my pocket. Oh that's right. Was the meantbow in your pocket or your purse? It was in my pocket? Was the meatball covered in sauce. I envy this. I would love to find a meatball in my pocket. Yes. So one day I made meatballs again. I had to go, right, I gotta go. I took one meat one meatball, and I put it in foil. Okay, this is my pocket, Oh my god. And I put it in my pocket. And I remember I was at a crosswalk. This is the story I told. This is what happened. I was at crosswalk and it had is like really hot guy there, but I was like taking a bite out of my pocket and meatballen. He looked at me like I was a bit it and then I looked and it was like, you know, you can't somebody can't see you take a meatball. 00:08:20 Speaker 3: That just that either goes in the like a direction where he also does that, and you fall in love immediately, yes, parmazan or yeah exactly, or it's just just game over from the moment. 00:08:33 Speaker 2: And so a couple of days later, I just happen to find an egg. You know, Yes, I am that person. That's absolutely imagine I'm cool. 00:08:41 Speaker 3: Well that's the that is the crazy thing about you is you are genuinely a cool person and it's like you like worked in fashion. Can can we talk about Lenny Kravitz? Oh my god, I'm sure you've made out with Lenny Kraft. 00:08:58 Speaker 2: You're the only. 00:08:58 Speaker 3: Person on earth who can say that they've made out with Lenny Kravitz and then found a hard boiled egg in their pocket. 00:09:06 Speaker 2: That's an incredible achievement, if anything, that makes him even more attractive. Of course, yeah, totally. This was more than a decade ago. Anyway, Yes it was. 00:09:16 Speaker 3: I mean, do you want to explain what happened or oh god, we don't have to get into it now, we'll leave it. 00:09:23 Speaker 2: You've made out with you know what I'm you know what I'm nervous about. I'm like, he's gonna hear it. 00:09:29 Speaker 3: I feel like Lenny Kravitz is this sort of person who would be totally cool with that. And he sa, yeah, he's probably gonna call you. Oh no, we're gonna try to get you back into Lenny's life. 00:09:39 Speaker 2: Well, you know, I actually I saw him at sn now like backstage, and I say, hey, you don't remember me because I look so totally like a totally different person. You look exactly the same. But I made up with you, and he was like, yeah, okay, that probably made such him. 00:09:55 Speaker 3: It's probably like oh yeah, like I've made out with a pharamol people. 00:09:59 Speaker 2: That could be true. That's incredible. Good for him. 00:10:03 Speaker 3: And then I was like, okay, bye, that's a nice response. Yeah, you you worked in fashion for a long time for nine years. 00:10:13 Speaker 2: What exactly did you do? I did pattern making? Oh what that mean? So people here fashion design they think I was like, you know, make it work and you know Project Runway. Shit. I went into the nerd side, which is a technical side of fashion, and so people don't just make the clothes out of fabric and thin air. There's pattern makers who draw the uh. 00:10:38 Speaker 3: Pad like on the like almost transparent paper like which like a normal person would go to Joanne Fabric and buy a pattern and like the little right. 00:10:46 Speaker 2: So the pattern that you unfold, you know, it's what I used to do. But it's less about drawing now in more computer Wow, it's almost like engineering or something. Yeah. 00:10:55 Speaker 3: Okay, so you've worked in fashion and you've for a while, and you've also worked in comedy for a while. 00:11:00 Speaker 2: Yep, about the same amount of song. 00:11:02 Speaker 3: Which field has more psychopaths? 00:11:04 Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so funny. You asked that because I remember leaving fashion like everybody is nuts, like I can't the meanest people, I can't stand them, and then I give him a comedy witch little did you know? Oh my god, did you know? I feel like comedy is more solitary. Oh okay, so you can do without dealing with Yeah, because I did Pattern Maker when I first started, and then I went into fashion PR that was really that was really where the what people think fashion is about. So I remember I was doing PR win all the designers for whatever reason that year, they all wanted a coffee table book. Okay, these huge, fucking like ninety pound books to put on your coffee tap, and the company I worked for would throw those parties. Okay. So interacting with like the real fashion people, I want to say, it's a different kind of app kind of a whole right, like whre where fashion would be like narcissists. I think comedy has sociois right, people who are quite people and they've always been weird, but that you can be weird in comedy, so they come over here. Yeah, fashion is more of a narciss like mean girl, Okay, that makes sense. There are genuinely crazy people like comedy is how I feel where you have every type of I mean, I've I've done shows with people who later you're like, oh did you hear so so stabbed this mom? Like that's a real story. Who So I feel like there's that evil people who It's not necessarily a comedian trade, because there's cool people like me and you and and other people know. But I think it's an industry that crazy people find out about and then they come. They're not comedians, they're crazy peoples. 00:12:50 Speaker 3: Comedian they're just like weird enough to occasionally find success or whatever. But in the meantime, probably with. 00:12:57 Speaker 2: Other sis psychopaths or their fans, you know what I mean, Like, yeah, he's saying things I agree with me, you know what I mean? And I mean you are your fan base. Yes, that's very true. So how did you go. 00:13:08 Speaker 3: From fashion to comedy? How did that work out? It's a I can't imagine you, by the way, working in fashion because you're a fun person, like you don't Oh. 00:13:15 Speaker 2: I was a bitch? Oh okay yeah yeah yeah, And that's another reason I left because I felt like I was turning into a horrible person. I was just like, I don't want to be this isn't cool. 00:13:26 Speaker 3: So when you entered fashion you were would you say you're more like you are now? And then it like kind of eroded. 00:13:31 Speaker 2: You yeah, more like starry eye, like oh wow, you know type of person. Then I mean it's all fashion is all like illusion, so you everybody's playing the character. I remember. So how I got into fashion fast, how I got interested in it. I moved to New York and from the Virgin I was worth Yes, and I was working at this salon, Mark Jacobs Salon, and that's where all the fashion people would would come to to get their hair and nails and waxing and all of that stuff. So, uh, the girls from Vogue and Mary Claire and you know, and all these like fashion designer assistance. Like one of the hairdressers was Donna Karen's personal hair. Like it was like the fashion here salon, and these girls would come there and they would be like decked out. This is what I remember. They would be like that. This is why I went into pattern making instead of the fancy stuff. They would be decked out and they'd come up to ring up their ten dollars manicure and it would be decline, whoa they get. Yeah, if you were from magazine, you get free you know, people like, hey, come and try this out and write about it. You know, you get all that publicity stuff. So they look a make it. But they were so fucking broke. Talking to them got me interested in fashion, but I was like, I gotta make money, so I went into pattern making. So that's what happened. Wow, and then pattern making wasn't really for me, and so that's why I went into pr And so that was like a way to be around fashion people and you know, without like doing make money. Yeah, because a lot of they either come for money or they're like you know girls from Mike Iowa. Yeah of course. Wait, so okay, so it was horrible. Yeah. And then and then how did I get into comedy? Okay, it's not glamorous or happy. My dad was dying. I was having postpartum depression and didn't know it at the time. And I was walking through a grocery store and this guy handed me this thing for uh. He said, I'm having open open mics and I had no idea what that was. I didn't know how people became comedians, Like I thought it was like, I don't know, like some dude with glasses like I'm gonna make you a start, and you know like that, Like I really I had no idea that there were thousands of comedians, Like did you know that before you got it? 00:15:58 Speaker 3: I grew up in Utah, so I hit had no idea about any of people are making money like you famous. I'm like what, so I had? 00:16:09 Speaker 2: I knew like five I was like Richard Pryor and those are comedians, you know, And so I was like, all right, whatever, and I went and it was like all these white boys doing but they had it was a good audience and everything. And then so I was like, oh, like this is interesting because I just you know, like observing people so and you know, not everybody. They weren't like not funny, they were funny. And so afterwards I was just like, oh that was so crazy, Like wow, that's great, Like I've never seen comedy. At the beginning in. 00:16:43 Speaker 3: Team Specials, people are the very talking. So they were like, you could do it next week if you want. I was like, what what do you mean? 00:16:49 Speaker 2: I could do it? Like you just sign up and then you could do I think it was like four minutes or something like that. And I was like all right, and I was like, I don't know. For whatever reason, I was just like, I'm going to do it. I was like, I'm funnier than them. I knew that just innately. 00:17:04 Speaker 3: Well, I was going to say the most shocking thing so far as that you said you went to an open mic and it was funny. 00:17:08 Speaker 2: They were like a lot of the dudes will get in, so remind me to talk about that the guys in the Midwest. Okay, So I went home and I like rode out everything, like everything I was gonna say. And then so next week came by and I went I got so fucking high, and then I did my set. But I remember I remember like the first laugh. Do you remember, Oh, I've never done stand up. I'm terrible stand up. I know you just needed you don't know what that means, you just do. 00:17:41 Speaker 3: I'm gonna take it as a compound. I can't take up too much about. 00:17:45 Speaker 2: That because you're just so funny a conversation to me too, So I'm like, oh, he must you know, but you're a comedy right, so of course, But anyway, that first laugh, I remember thinking, oh, this is what I do. Like, I guess I'm gonna keep doing this all fantastic And probably because of the depression and shit that laugh at me hard. It also stand up also just became for me like a distracting Like I immediately was obsessed, you know, going to that. So I started at that mic every week. Then you know, the guys arelike and it was only guys, and they were all white, but that was like my crew all of a sudden, and they're like, oh, we're driving in whatever town over they have, you know, so if this mic is on Thursday, that town has one on Tuesday. It's like two times a week, and just like it starts anywhere, I started just rolling with them, and then there was like a club like two and a half hours away. You start like hosting, you like, move on host you middle, And I became like the middle, you know what I mean. So I was like there like every other weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, for like two years straight. I was like doing stand up. But I was just so it gave me something to think about other than other stuff that was sure happening that I was like obsessively. But I always say, now, if I was supposed to be, if I was supposed to live till eighty five. It's going to be eighty out. Yeah, those five years just got ripped off. Yeah yeah, like not sleeping, stressed, you know. And yeah, so. 00:19:19 Speaker 3: So your kids have like because they're teenagers now Smith watched your whole career. 00:19:24 Speaker 2: Yeah, basically they're like what Yeah. 00:19:28 Speaker 3: I mean I've met them briefly and they seem kind of over it, but they've probably they're probably excited for you, right, I. 00:19:35 Speaker 2: Don't know about I don't know if they were ever I don't think I think they were ever under it, much less over you know what I mean, Like they I don't think I think with your kids. First of all, I'm not I'm not for kids. So they haven't seen my My older son has seen mine, you know what I mean. My youngest son don't even know what it is. Oh wow, I mean he knows what, but he doesn't get it. He's like, this is stupid, you know what I mean. I've taken him to the cellar with me and and he's just like okay, because we're talking about adult ship, you know. So I don't know if he thinks it's cool, but he's also like so cool that I don't know what he thinks is cool that way too cool forever. He's so like snarky, so who knows what he thinks. He strikes me as someone who wouldn't give me the compliment because he knows. I know, he knows his new thing that he reminds me of you, like you snarky wonder his latest thing he does now he'll say if you say something, he'll say, cringe. He's such an I love it. I love My mom got him a pillow that says I run on sarcasm, like tells his grandma shade him. But anyway, so he yeah, and my oldest son. I think he thinks it's cool. I think he thinks I'm cool, Okay, cool, but I mean rare, you know, in my basement cool. But he thinks it's cool that I'm doing. He's like, he admires you. Oh, I mean that might never put it like that very many parents. 00:21:03 Speaker 3: I'm going you're not leaving until you're in tears about children. I saw you, and I guess we might get into this a little bit. But you tweeted that you want to be in the next Grand Theft autogain. You want to be a DJ and that makes perfect sense. To me, if those idiots don't make you a DJ in their next game, what are they even making games for? 00:21:26 Speaker 2: For a long time, I did not really do kids jokes, and when I when I was, when I first started, I did, But when I started, uh, interacting with industry, I stopped talking about my kids because as soon as you say it, even though you and I know I'd be perfect for something like that, they're like, you get put in categories. So I'm a mom ridiculous, So I mean, and it's always been ridiculous. This is a youth and of course you know sex dr driven business we're in, yes, but I think it leads to some unfortunate you know, decisions, you know, and also like makes everything the same, which is you know, it's I mean, simplify is it everything? Yeah? So but now with Twitter, I feel like I see people every day that are like I want to when who was it? Tyler the creator nine years ago said I want to win a Grammy and this guy responded like, well, don't wait for you know some smark like you're never going to get one, and he won one this year and he retweeted like I saved this tweet. That's just to tell this dude, Matt, that I got on you bitch and whatever. You know. So I see people like not manifest. Oh god, I sound so la here we go. You've been here for four weeks. I know I've seen people say something and then fucking get it you. 00:22:52 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm slowly learning that lesson myself. I mean it feels crazy to say you want something or to tell people. 00:22:58 Speaker 2: I think that's what you're saying. 00:23:00 Speaker 3: Say oh, I should work for this myself and get it entirely on my own without telling anyone exactly, But like when you actually do reach out for it, I mean, we're surrounded by maniacs who are saying what they want and bearing getting it. 00:23:13 Speaker 2: So, yes, I want to be in the next Grand Theft. I absolutely. You play a lot of video games. This goes back to specifically, that's how I decomproud by punching random strangers in the back. 00:23:27 Speaker 3: And. 00:23:29 Speaker 2: I, uh, yeah, I love. 00:23:32 Speaker 3: I've never finished a Grand Theft Auto game because it's I'm immediately distracted. I remember I bought that Grand Theft Auto game and the first thing I did was punch someone off their bike. Yeah, and then ride out into the country and then just punch aout it. 00:23:47 Speaker 2: I mean it says a lot about you. But I was just like, what can you do in this thing? And it's just like, oh yeah, this is bonker. This is just assaulting people consequences. I love it. He does like a donkey kick, Like I've always wanted to just donkey I've like visualized donkey kick and someone like in the back is like they like if they say something then they go to walk away in it. I just in the middle of the back. You can do that and grat the photo. You guys, It's so satisfying. Just get in there kick people in the back. I don't even really shoot people. I just want to kick on. 00:24:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, I just like to cause chaos, get on the car and. 00:24:23 Speaker 2: Just run into so great. I love it. 00:24:25 Speaker 3: But you play a decent amount of video games, don't you know. 00:24:28 Speaker 2: I mean I like games like that, like First person I don't like like war games. No horror ship because I've even like Lower Croft. You know that. Sure, sure, if you have like surround sound and you play that game terrifying, it's not a horror game. But I can't even play. I can't play by myself, So I don't like those type of games, but I like, uh gt, I like a god of war, like a masher, yes, of course. And hit Man. Oh, I've never played Hitman. So you're a hit Man in a suit, a Bond type figure and you go around and you kill people silently. But that sounds stressful. It can be, I mean, they all can be. But let me get my thrills. 00:25:11 Speaker 3: Bridge, I mean, but you're just telling me you can't be you can't have these stressful other things. I guess you were like maybe you're more in control and Hitman or something. 00:25:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, you turn it off. I mean I've gotten to tense points in games and like put it down for like two weeks because I'm just like I can't know. Of course, you know, so I'm not a gamer where I play every you know, sure day or I like miss it, but yeah I play. And then Hannibal had a radio station named Granted all right, like three I think it was the It wasn't San Andres. I don't know which one it was, but I was. That's how I even knew it was possible. Okay, so wow, that must have been before he kind of hit it. Yeah, that's crazy, I mean, Cannibal, Cannibal has always been like the cool dude, like he's he's one of my I guess idols. He's one of the first people I went on tour with. He's like helped me out so much. Like he has a and other comics will tell you this who know him. He has like a gift for knowing when you have three dollars in your bank account. There's been multiple times where I was like so broke, like I'm gonna quit comedy, Like this is crazy, you know what I mean? Huh, and Hannibal would like hit me up like, hey, do you want to open for me in North Dakota? You know what I mean? That ship will They'll just like take you till the next time. Like He's done that for multiple people. And he also seems to write his own path, which a lot of people don't. Yeah, he really does seem to just do it, just does whatever the fuck he wants. Is so admirable, Like most people will think they're. 00:26:48 Speaker 3: Doing that, but they're not. You know, I mean a small example of that. I feel like you told me something about him with a rental car at the airport, right he Oh God, can we talk about it? 00:26:59 Speaker 2: I want to say, And then if I want you to cut it, I'll tell you. We went to we were somewhere and we had a return to rental. But we drove up to the where you get out, like we've totally forgot. And that's happened to me before. I forgot. I'm in a rental, just like I'm at the airport. You like, drive to where you're going. You don't think about it. And and we were like late and like you got to return this rental and he was like, no, I don't. And I was like, what do you mean? And he said just leave it there. I was like, what do you can't do that? And he's just already walking in. And so later I said what happened? He said they came and got it. He said, I called him. I told him this is where it is. They said you can't do that. He was like, well, I want getting on a plane. So if you want your car and nothing happened. I mean, is he going back to North Zakota where the fuck we were? 00:27:53 Speaker 1: No? 00:27:53 Speaker 2: Probably not so good? An incredible time tickets. In another stage, you're like, I don't want to go back to Kansas. Yeah forgot. 00:28:00 Speaker 3: Yeah, if you don't want me back in your state. Oh yeah, he's just cool as fuck to me. You know, I don't want to get away from this conversation, but you did. Earlier this morning you texted me and you said, I believe the text said something like I'm looking around my house and I'm like, what the fuck? Which on a podcast where gifts are happening? 00:28:31 Speaker 2: This sort of thing. 00:28:32 Speaker 3: Anytime I'm getting a gift and somebody sends me a text about with along those lines, I know the gift is going to be incredible. And you show up today. You have this beautiful bag. It says a new baby on it. It's like a beautiful do you want to describe that? 00:28:50 Speaker 2: It is baby pink with a old school, you know, downtown Abbey type baby stroller. Okay, and that stroller contains a teddy bear with a cute little pink bow around his neck and just multiple ruffles and oh another, a whole other basket of teddy Bears on the floor. Like this bitch is rich, her parents are doing it, Her nursery is dipped, she got she has a light above with teddy bear. So it's a whole thing. You know, they had a stylist like consult on this. You know what I mean? So and it has like the nice bougie tissue, the gift tissue, and do you want to see what the gift? I mean? This is this for me? It is should I open my new baby? You want me to open always? What's up? Let me open this? You brought it all this way, I'll open it extended up. Let's see what's happening here? Makes some noise by the microphone like that. It's like your hair. It's a it's a day planner? Is that what this is? Yes? Did you bring but you still have a huge ahead of you the whole chunk of the year. Are you somebody who uses a day planner? Okay? I want to be someone who uses sure day planner, which is why I had that already in my house because every year I buy one and I want to be that person. And as you see, I didn't even get to the opening part of that one this year, so I'm devolving even more. What's the furthest you've ever gotten into this goal? I want to say, March March. 00:30:39 Speaker 3: That's pretty good. Three months of having a life. 00:30:42 Speaker 2: Some days in between. Like I just I want to be someone who writes things down and does it and check I want that check mark feeling and sure, I am just not And what sort of put stuff are you putting when you're doing it? 00:30:56 Speaker 3: What will you put in? It is like everything or is it just big events? 00:30:59 Speaker 2: Or but here's what these things do to you. You get it like this is for my important stuff, and then when you have a day without important stuff, you feel like you have to write something or it becomes like eggs just anything to make my life feel full watch Ozark. I should exist because you almost have to do it every day, regardless if you have anything. Get the But what if I have a couple of days with nothing I'm done? 00:31:32 Speaker 3: That mine would be just a neverending void, just this thing that I'm well, I would feeling like. 00:31:38 Speaker 2: I'm doing so much, not only not only so much, but so many different things. I'm doing. Stand up, I'm doing that, I'm getting I was getting and have been like frazzle, But I'm not. I am just not a list and check my person. I am just flailing through the universe letting things happen to me. And I have to get okay with that, you know. So when I saw that, it made me think about what I want to be as a plan ahead person. And I always tell people I've only done that once in my life. It was in college. It was an English paper. We got the assignment on Friday, it was due like Wednesday, and I did it over the weekend, like truly unheard, unhurt, especially for me, And I always I remember the feeling. This is years and years ago, this is decades ago, and I remember just who that person, And every year I try to recapture. 00:32:37 Speaker 3: What do you think about that one particular thing made you a different person for four days? 00:32:44 Speaker 2: Why you think? I mean, it was a paper just important to you? Or was it just so I wanted to do? Because everything I do I do I work best under pressure. Yeah, you see how I ran in here. I'm not I'm not usually late. I'm the person that's like if it's twelve o'clock, I'm walking in at twelve o'clock, you know. So if everything the lead up is always like oh, panic, and I hate the panic feeling. I think it feels horrible. But why the fuck can't I write you in my planner? Then? Like if I don't, I know, I don't like it. Why do I keep doing it? 00:33:21 Speaker 3: But you don't tell me branch or town. Do you do you miss? Do you miss events? Because you don't That's what I'm done. 00:33:29 Speaker 2: But I will many times find out about it fifteen minutes. So there's just a lot of like make it eating down the road, and I'm like, it doesn't have to be like this every time I do it. Yeah. 00:33:41 Speaker 3: Are you the same with work stuff? Like if you have a writing assignment or oh god, stuff, do you put it? 00:33:46 Speaker 2: Oh god, You're gonna make me so sad. I have a pilot right now, people want it, just look at it to now do the changes they ask for. It's been like six months. I fully relate to now. If they said I need it tomorrow about five am. 00:34:05 Speaker 3: At four point thirty, of course, just like an actual debt, I would do it a real deathline. 00:34:09 Speaker 2: I would wait till four forty five if they need it at five. You know, so I just hate it, No, I must love it in some way. 00:34:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a I have that same thing built into me from high school, you know, like waiting till the very last minute to write a paper. And I do that now. If I have a script writer, why not take the first four. 00:34:27 Speaker 2: Days to just do think about the apartment I'm like, I'm writing in my mind that's absolutely not true. There's no bottom. Of course, I hate it because and every once in a while I'll run across one of those people, a planner people per se, Oh, and they just seem so content, and uh yeah, everything's in order up about it? You know, how could they not be? But supposedly we're smarter. I don't believe that you find proof that collaborates whatever bath in Youah, of course we do. Late people having advantage. I'm more creative, I'm more interested. Okay, So I'm fine, that's what you're telling me. Yeah, I am an objective proof that it's so. Now it's up to you to plan my life, to plan your life and become an efficient person? Are you not using your phones for you? I'm using everything. I am using everything. I got alarms on alarms. I will make lists. Forget to look at it. And that's what happens with a planner. You forget to even even I forget it even exists. 00:35:37 Speaker 3: Of course, of course I see it again, because it has to be like a habit before you're actually using it or whatever. 00:35:42 Speaker 2: What I end up doing. I hired an assistant. This is the dream. Yeah, and I'm not a rich person, but it's helped me out just mentally. I think we were talking about that in the Black Monday room one day about some director or writer whatever where he doesn't make decisions, he makes five decisions a day. Sure, yeah, that seems so, I mean, that's nuts. But yeah, just you know, I think about so part of the thing where my polot is, my brain is doing too many other things. You just don't even want to be bothered, you know what I mean with something that in the back of my mind is like it's I did it, you know what I mean? To go back into it, it has been and if I didn't have to do laundry or in the case of my assistant, read emails and response, it frees that up. So I was very resistive to it for a while, but it's been so Wait. 00:36:39 Speaker 3: The assistant is mostly just going through emails and stuff. 00:36:43 Speaker 2: That's all. She's not like, I wish you would do my laundry, but I'm not there. 00:36:47 Speaker 3: But she's setting up your schedule, my schedulefirming with other people. 00:36:51 Speaker 2: Go between, in between all your freaking agents that all want to call, your preference calls. I don't have to do that anymore, you know, soly. 00:37:00 Speaker 3: Not helping you find gifts. Let's just let's just put that on the table. We're friends, So you texted me that's right, I need to become friends with your assistant. That's the next time you're on this. 00:37:13 Speaker 2: I'm you know what it means is I forgot to tell her I was doing that because it didn't come through the emails. She needs my email. 00:37:21 Speaker 3: Well, next time you're on you'll hear about me, like getting dinner with your assistant, like two weeks before. 00:37:26 Speaker 2: Anyway, it's not that expensive. Also, I wanted because I'm sure I have a bunch of creatives, how did you find an assistant? To find her? 00:37:32 Speaker 1: Oh? 00:37:33 Speaker 2: Ariel for Oh, I love recommended her. 00:37:36 Speaker 3: Oh okay, and she's the ultimate assistant. I mean she's not really an assistance. She's doing she's at high level. 00:37:41 Speaker 2: She's great. Yeah. So yeah, and I think that's how all of them is referral. 00:37:46 Speaker 3: Yeah right, they've just worked with various people and that sort of thing. Yeah, I would I would have a hard time trusting somebody initially, but. 00:37:52 Speaker 2: Oh it definitely. She was like, so, you know, I'm not touring as much anymore, but when I was doing the road a lot. She does all my airplane booking, hotel and figures out between a venue, like am I getting picked up all that ship? And then I would figure out because I'm multiple times showing up at an airport like wait, what am I? Not only what am I? Where am I? Because that's how the road gets when you just keep going and going and going. Your looks like I wrote me the other day, like when I met you in Oklahoma, and I was like, I went to Oklahoma? Does not sound like me? Apparently I did, and I said I'm so sorry I don't remember you, and she put up a picture I took her and she's like, I'm dying because the conversation we had had what changed me and for you you did not care it was transformational. And I'm like, I went to Oklahoma. Well that just shows your power. So happened in this assistent Well, hopefully let me enjoy it because I don't have to think about that. Is that's the only reason I want money. I've realized I don't want to do tedious ship. Oh that's all I want. 00:39:11 Speaker 3: I need someone to take care of My text is like I don't, I don't want to think about it for even a second. 00:39:15 Speaker 2: Oh my god, Like I don't want to know it exists, but yeah, you get. That's how you get. 00:39:19 Speaker 3: You know, like celebrities like going to jail or whatever because like they don't know, they get to a point where somebody else is doing it and that person starts skimming off the top or whatever, and I wouldn't even which also, sure, I don't care anymore. 00:39:33 Speaker 2: You are doing me. If you want a. 00:39:36 Speaker 3: Little something something on the side, figure it out. I mean, if it means I get to have like a relaxing Friday, you know, of just ignorance, that's all I need. 00:39:48 Speaker 2: That's all I need. 00:39:48 Speaker 3: And then you probably spend five years in jail. White collar And also yeah, white collar people are talking about you again. You're back in the headlines. It almost feels good tother pushing money yeah or whatever. People are like people have forgotten about you. They're like, we're waiting for their renecessary. 00:40:04 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:40:04 Speaker 2: America, baby, that's that's an Americ country. We are living just the absolute hell pitch that is this nation. Oh. 00:40:17 Speaker 3: I was talking to somebody on this recently about Lauren Hill, who was like obviously had text problems or whatever did you know that, Like she can't sing her songs like. 00:40:25 Speaker 2: Yeah, because she doesn't own a massic. So I mean, if you we want to get in this song black gossip. No, I don't know you came to the news segment black. 00:40:40 Speaker 3: I would love to have you sitting over here during every episode. 00:40:43 Speaker 2: And now we're turning to Ja it's time for no for whatever reason, So I've known that about Lauren, but for whatever reason, there's a lot of black artists who came out in the nineties who are now saying that even though they were aligned with like a black producer in a lot of cases, Puff Daddy, like all these people, all these black rappers and performers who are now like I'm a billionaire like jay Z, they own all these all shows people's soul because like Lauren Hill started when she was like sixteen or something. You know, you're touring making money. You've gone from whatever situation to this like a like crazy, you just don't even know what's happening. You signed stuff and. 00:41:31 Speaker 3: You're surrounded by people in suits where you're like, oh, they probably know that's what. 00:41:34 Speaker 2: Happened to her. She doesn't own her own hard and I think That's what Taylor Swift went through, right where she didn't own her masters or something, so she didn't read. She had to read or threaten to, like re recorded was doing that his first album. He doesn't own the masters and so he's not getting any money from it, and he tried to buy it back from them and they said no, the de are and so he's re recording. Also what I'm saying, he's so cool anyway. So yeah, I feel like I just read about Khalis so this was one may remember puff Daddy and oh yeah, of course I've been wondering about what happened. Well, I mean apparently he was on like some of the biggest hits of the nineties, of course, and then whatever his deal was, I don't think that money is coming anymore, just like residuals die. Yeah, of course, because he doesn't own his music. And he said the same thing. He tried to buy his master's back from Puff Daddy for two million. They were friends when they started, and puff Dady said no, Puff Daddy just does not have enough money. That's so much money, you know, So yeah. 00:42:44 Speaker 3: Puff Daddy were disappointed. Pee Yady, Yeah, did you please do the right what uh, I think that's who we did puff Daddy p diddy, Diddy Diddy did he and then we returned to puff Daddy Puff. I think it's just puff Puffy. It's never too right to do the wrong, to late to do the right, It's never too late to do the right thing. You tune in for Black Gossip every week. Janelle has unveiled what's going on with you? Yes, we all know, man, turn it around. 00:43:16 Speaker 1: Plan. 00:43:17 Speaker 2: You've got enough money. America will forgive you. We will forge, We forgive every single yeah, single right after right in the middle of the whole raucous Yeah, I feel. 00:43:27 Speaker 3: A single about doing the right thing. What Yeah, Brendan just wrote it for you. Man, very, I'm now the puff Daddy of the world. I have a puff Daddy story. You all that you have to tell it in a line with my egg in my pocket type thing. 00:43:43 Speaker 2: Any we found puffed add in your pocket. He's a tiny thing. He's a small man. Yeah. I so first time, first couple of years in New York going to fashion school, so broke, Like I had told my mom I had found an apartment and I've had him. I was like crashing all over the city and this I met this girl and we're still kind of friends. It's so fun. We just found each other on Facebook. But she was just like you know those New York girls where he's like I know this person in there, and I'm just like what. But she's like slumming it, you know. With me. That's when everybody when it was like cool to act like you're poor, you know what I mean. Anyway, So one night I'm hanging out with her. She's like, oh, I gotta have dinner with this guy. Do you want to go? And I'm like, dinner? 00:44:29 Speaker 3: You know, I do not care who this man's who the man? 00:44:34 Speaker 2: You said dinner? So we go and it's this fancy restaurant and then it's buff Daddy what. So this is like sixteen years ago or something like that, and I, like I said, I did not give a fuck. So they're talking and I am destroyed, like everything that comes. I mean, her sons shop to swim. At one point there was this like tray of shrimp cocktail and it was you know, in the fancy but they put it like in a circle Vegas of course. But this is you know, early two thousands when I was classy. Yeah, yeah, this was about past now and uh, I guess I was just killing up and so Bummy says, do you want more? Have asked that question? My buf daddy, Oh my god, about this this so long? 00:45:36 Speaker 3: I said, four of them are in your persons. But I said, yeah, hey sure girl. He said, yo, yo yo, give her all the shp. 00:45:50 Speaker 4: This woman came because the shirt was with a terrible it's like sorry, the woman comes back and she puts it right in front of me. 00:46:02 Speaker 2: I was like, okay, I just kept eating. Who knows, I probably have either boys just foam mercury, not only I remember being in New York and eating a slice a day like I was like, pizza, I looked so fucking good. Let me. I was just I was, you know, like pursuing fashion able to fit in the clothes you can tell me ship. But my hair was falling like I was starving. And I remember like feeling probably the euphoria from when your brain is like oh the body is not hanging out, feeling pretty good, and then going home and seeing my mother and my mother just like crying, like looking at me like what is happening? You know? So that's when I was like, oh, I got to eat and then that shrimp opportunity came along. That was in the midst of this. But you probably kept you going for years. I hadn't. I didn't give a fuck who he was. I was just like, please, sir, give me more shrimp. Of course, may I have more shrimp? That's a flood home like I mean, I still do that. 00:47:12 Speaker 3: It's incredible, and you're still in touch with him obviously. 00:47:16 Speaker 2: That's been sure. You know, after you're full and embarrassed, maybe it's here your life holy. 00:47:21 Speaker 3: But at that point it's just like keep going. There's no coming back from being caught eating too many shrimp. When you're finally like. 00:47:29 Speaker 2: Okay, what yes, more shrimp. Oh that's yo, yo yo, give him all. I'll never forget. Wow, that's truly beautiful. Thank you. I kept me another year of life. He saved you. 00:47:50 Speaker 3: You can credit him with saving your life, So I guess he's done one good thing. We forgive him for everything else. Yeah. Yeah, that concludes that segment. I'm going to give you a choice of games. One is called gift or a curse. One is called gift, master, gift or a curse. Okay, I need a number between one and ten eight Okay, I'm going to calculate a few things here. 00:48:18 Speaker 2: Oh well, shoot, I don't know what. I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow. Man, you've got my planner. No, I'm on Netflix. Watch my Netflix quarter hour. If someone introduced me the other night, I was like, bitch, you didn't have to say that. You didn't have to say quarter hour. Just say I'm on Netflix. You ain't have to reduce it down to fifteen minutes in the intro because that just sounds lame, even though it was amazing and I got a lot of money for it, so you know what you could, you know, go fuck yourself. But so, but you guys, go check it out. Fifteen minutes it feels like an hour, not in a bad way, just that I packed so many jokes into it and then go on my website smoking a blunt in the picture. My mom hates it. I don't know why I've chosen to keep that up, because now everybody thinks I'm doing some like weird weed comedy. I maybe mentioned it once or twice, but people think I'm like Theug and Benson or some shit now. But anyway, I look hot in it. That's that's why I put it up. I look hot in it anyway. Go on my website and you can see all my tour dates and uh, come see me around uh in LA and come in the audience and actually laughs, So you know, don't be one of these non impressed with everything motherfuckers that keep popping up in these bar shows around here. Like everybody is so unimpressed in LA, Like I'm up here being a clown for you? Can you? I know, I'm funny, Like stop fucking playing. Why don't you just like enjoy something for once? And so if you're one of those people that actually laugh, come through and see me there, and you know, just follow me on the socials. Guy, I'm you know, I'm. 00:49:55 Speaker 3: I've given I've given you too much, chun. I have to find a new way to calculate these things that you're. 00:50:04 Speaker 2: Out of control. 00:50:05 Speaker 3: You're absolutely I take everything back. You're talking too much. Enough is enough. We have a game to play here, and you're here criticizing the horrible audiences in Los Angeles. Then they are very bad. I don't even do stand up and I know they're bad. Why are you here? But why are you here? 00:50:26 Speaker 2: Stay home? Oh? 00:50:29 Speaker 3: All that aside, we're gonna play a game and let me explain what's gonna happen. I'm gonna name three things and you're gonna tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why. Okay, the first thing gift or a curse, throw pillows. I'm gonna go a curse because who gives you throw pillows unless you specifically asks for them? So that's kind of presumptuous that you think you're gonna pick out something, but you. 00:50:59 Speaker 2: Know I'm stop you right now. Okay, just the general concept of oh I thought it was, but people give you as a gift, like, why would you didn't explain it? I do explain it. 00:51:13 Speaker 3: This is this is my fault as a host. Okay, start over, first strike against me ever so high? 00:51:21 Speaker 2: So you have to explain ship like to the minutia like I'm in space right now? Okay, the gift or a cursed throw pillows, right? Gift? Why As someone who frequently falls asleep on her couch, I'm glad I don't got to go get up and get go and get another pillow, because then I would end up in bed where I'm supposed to do. 00:51:47 Speaker 3: You have a lot of throw pillows I don't know, don't know. Well, you're living sort of temporarily in alass. 00:51:54 Speaker 2: I don't live anywhere. It's basically you're kind of a vagabone. Yeah. And so my current place it's super cute. You should come over. But and it has two throw pillows, but they're comfy. Are they good looking? They're good looking. This place is decorated, like people are really stepping up their rental games. 00:52:12 Speaker 3: Out like this in the Airbnb situation or what. 00:52:16 Speaker 2: No, it's a it's a house that but not through Airbnb. I got referred. It was like, oh I stayed, and so this couple mainly rents the people in entertainment industry. Oh so it's like kind of like word of mouth right hand down thing, which is the same where I got my apartment in New York. It's just like comedians all talk to each other. Of course. 00:52:39 Speaker 3: Yeah, and this is how you found your way to to throw pillows. Yes, I over explain everything. No, you have a deep system of referrals that lead to throw pillows. Yes, but you think there are a gift, Yeah, what do you think? I think you're zero for one? Are an absolute curve? Well, they're so expensive, it's so difficult to find, but I do need them, and so it's just a constant thing. Anytime I'm at Target, I'm at you know whatever boutique, I'm looking at throw pillows and it's haunting me. But I don't want to I never want to spend the money. It's too much to commit. It's way too much to commit. And I feel like you have to have multi. I mean, when you tell me you have two throw that doesn't feel like enough to me. Is this couch a foot long? 00:53:27 Speaker 2: No, it's no. But they're substantial, Okay, they must be huge. The couch itself is very cushy. 00:53:33 Speaker 3: Oh okay, so you don't they need but for decoor purposes. I feel like unless you have I'll show you a pig. Look, we'll throw pillow expert. 00:53:50 Speaker 1: What. 00:53:52 Speaker 3: No, you're wrong, You're absolutely wrong. And I think that most of America is going to be on my side here. I think there are a curse. I have four are currently I hate all four of them. My dog is destroyed to Target. 00:54:06 Speaker 2: You bought them? Yeah, I bought them, Okay, I just you feel like you mad. So I made the wrong choice, That's what I'm saying. I don't think it's throw pillows, and your problem is you made this issue. 00:54:16 Speaker 3: Maybe I need just an assistant to buy my throw pillows just so like I don't have to sure they're out. Oh, I guarantee you somebody as their throw pillow person. Yes, that's that is the goal. I'll get you a referral. Okay, so you're I mean, you're off to a horrible start. 00:54:34 Speaker 2: Zero for. 00:54:36 Speaker 3: Zero so far, all right, give me another chance. Up next, we're going to go gift her a curse. You know it, you use it. It's on your phone, it's on your computer. It's Twitter. 00:54:52 Speaker 2: Oh curse. Unfortunately, because only people who want to to hear themselves talk on there, and we're the worst people, you know. It's so easy to forget that it's such a small percentage of the population on it, and that you've chosen the people you follow. I think people forget about as well, and just people think you're having real discourse, but you're not. It forces you to speak to people you would never fucking talk to in your life, and I think that's okay. You don't all need to be friends, you know what I mean? Like I don't, I know, I don't like you, like right, like I don't. It makes you. Yeah, it forces these relationships that are just stressful, right, and nothing you would choose for yourself in the real world. Arguing with people you would never speak to. Well, I don't get into arguments anymore, but I used to be like fuck you type of over what sort of things. I mean politics, of course, or just I mean the other thing about Twitter. Yeah, it's the same thing for we're seeing you to have conversations where you know, I know everyone hates Facebook or whatever. I don't know how it became. It's like the Apple and you know, like the cool people are on Twitter or whatever the fuck is. They're both hell holes. We just choose our own personal health. But what I liked about Facebook is you choose. If you don't go to a fan page, everyone can't talk to you. Right. Twitter is all over the world. People are just yelling if you so, and there's so many awful people on there or bots or whatever the fuck is happening. If I go on there and say good morning to somebody's like nigger, Like, it's just it's truth. It's people just who want to start shit right at seven thirty am. 00:56:42 Speaker 3: If someone replies that you at seven thirty am. 00:56:44 Speaker 2: You know that person's person or you get with one of those, you wake up and next at two thirty am their time, they're like doing a whole paragraph. It's just it's too many nutcases. It's a terse and it's affecting our democracy, you know what I mean. And it's just like these are the people that are affecting people on Twitter, the worst person in the world. Trump is on there and that's his favorite ship. Why would you want anything that's his favorite ship? Is no favorite ship. 00:57:11 Speaker 3: Don't come on my podcast. You know this is a strongly Trump podcast gossip. 00:57:18 Speaker 2: You don't come on. 00:57:19 Speaker 3: Here for my president. No, I don't even We have to just be very clear. This is yeah, Trump is not my persident. You have to be very careful. I know that is canceled. 00:57:31 Speaker 2: I think I finally I'm free. 00:57:39 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course. I mean, do you want to know? I mean, I mean, you. 00:57:44 Speaker 2: Convince me that it's not I would respect you. 00:57:46 Speaker 3: There's no way, no way in a thousand years I can convince convince you it's not a curse. It's the worst thing. I mean, that's what happened to any of us. I mean a lot of good things have come to it for me because of it, and it helps me get into the world the industry. 00:58:00 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why it's a curse. It's an absolute track. If I wasn't in comedy, I would not be on it. No way, I don't give up. What the fuck I wouldn't. I know way too much about people. Oh, people that on my front. I don't need to see your boudoir pictures. I don't know. People are just too I'm just like, what is happening. 00:58:21 Speaker 3: It's weird the things A lot of people have chosen to be extremely open about it. 00:58:25 Speaker 2: I'm like, do you have a job? No, No, I guess I mean, I just yeah, it's too much information. I already feel like my brain is filled with lyrics and fucking god, celebrity gossip, and it's like taking up space where I could be learning other ship. Now I gotta know what fucking Bob from the job I did three years ago is likes in the bedroom. It's just ridiculous. I can't take it. I would never be on there. Okay, absolutely correct. It's a curse. It's the worst. I mean, we all know it is. 00:58:58 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's an unescapable Yeah, I don't know how to end it. People leave all the time, is what I tell us, Yeah, but we cannot get away from it. 00:59:08 Speaker 2: I've taken breaks as the best I felt. Yeah, and then you as soon as you come back, you're like, I've have you ever done the mistake of looking right before? Like in bead before you try to go to sleep every every single night, every single night. I can't get away from it. And then I wake up and I do it again, and I'm like, oh, what a beautiful way to book. And that's the one thing I've been better on is not looking at that ship like at least an hour before I go to sleep. But I've made the mistake of being in bed. Can't get to sleep as fast as I want that. Open up Twitter and like the first thing you see just makes your heart like hurts. 00:59:39 Speaker 3: And then you're like why, brain is just spinning and yeah, oh. 00:59:44 Speaker 2: What's the existence of life? You know, what's the point of life? Now that that's what I'm going to sleep? 00:59:49 Speaker 3: Want hell Escape, Hellscape, Hell's Gate. Okay, here's another one. Give her a curse. Rye Bread just to as controversial as Twitter. 01:00:02 Speaker 2: I don't even know if I know what that is. That's the white people said. 01:00:05 Speaker 3: Bread, it's like it's like it's got like a particularly No, it's more of a like I don't even have to describe it, like on a Ruben. 01:00:18 Speaker 2: It's oh, I don't like Rubens, but I have had it, and I don't know if the bread contributed positively. It's a strong flavor. For sure, I'm gonna say's a curse because if I've had it and I liked it, and I haven't, If I had it and I liked it, I would have had it again, had it again. Sure, I didn't know it was something. To have a real opinion unbelievable. 01:00:42 Speaker 3: You would go about your day thinking you shouldn't have a strong opinion about ryebread. 01:00:47 Speaker 2: What is this Twitter? You've got to have. 01:00:50 Speaker 3: An opinion on every single thing, and you have to be able to determine if it's evil or good, and you failed to because Rye bread is a gift. 01:00:59 Speaker 2: Huh. 01:01:00 Speaker 3: I wasn't wild about Rye bread the first time I tried it. Look, I don't think a lot of people are. But I think it's delicious. It's a nice, complex flavor. It's I can't describe it, almost medicinal, which is not a great thing to describe a thing. Your sandwiches are, Yeah, if you haven't had rye bread. 01:01:22 Speaker 2: Do they send it by a slice so I can just try it. I have one slice of er I was told it was good. I don't want to make a commitment. You've got to have a good rub and it's delicious. It's an absolute gift. And Janelle has has failed the game. She's gotten one out of three. Thought. 01:01:42 Speaker 3: You know, you stumbled through this thing and I don't even know what to tell you. It's an embarrassing day for both of us. But that's fine. 01:01:52 Speaker 2: You know. You you wake up, you think things are going well, and then your Saturday just gets leveled. It's a shame. 01:02:00 Speaker 3: We're gonna move on to the final segment of this podcast. It's called I Said No Questions. People are writing into I Said No Questions at gmail dot com. They have to find gifts for people in their lives. We're gonna try to help one or two of them. Let me read you a letter I've received recently, Bridger, my friend invited us to a party for her cat's tenth birthday. Do I bring a gift and what should it be? That's from Dawn in Reno, Nevada. The cat is turning ten years old. Someone is throwing the cat a birthday party. Does she have to bring a gift? 01:02:37 Speaker 2: And if so? What? Okay, So first let me say I'm opposed to this whole situation, but I'm gonna entertain because this is not my show. Uh. If I were going to a cat birthday party, you've been asked them anyway, h slash mail stripper anyway, why would I get dressed and leave my house anyway? 01:03:01 Speaker 1: Uh? 01:03:04 Speaker 2: Food, I don't know what the cats want? What are you gonna get it? 01:03:08 Speaker 3: The goddamn I think in this situation, and we're in front of Stephen right now with Stephen has a cat podcast. The per cast you do. I don't like this is Stephen. I am so sorry You're not gonna be on his podcast, and I'm gonna make sure of it. 01:03:22 Speaker 2: They don't like me, that's the other the bad cat vibe. No I'm chilling. I usually I'm like, hey, no problem. So they know they don't like me, and then they come straight to me and I'm allergic, Like that's a problem. And so it's just all size they like, they're too quiet. I just can't take it. I'm just jumping for cats, like I need pattern or sure you need something. 01:03:47 Speaker 3: You look down and say, I can't take it. You don't need you don't like the prowling. Well, Donna's comes to the I. 01:03:54 Speaker 2: Was a cat in my last life and that's why because we are like competing right away like cats, I look mean cats like have stair at each other. Man like, bit, what the fuck you look at a cat? Yeah, you're a cat lady. It's sneaky like me. 01:04:10 Speaker 3: Uh okay, Well, then, don I'm not going to allow Janelle to give you any advice here. 01:04:15 Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you something else. 01:04:19 Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you this party is going to be a lot of fun, and you should take a gift because cat toys are so cheap. Head down to your local pet store or even your grocery store and get cats will be entertained. Actually, don't even buy anything. Find a box in your house, just a small box. Wrap that up. The cat is going to love to sit in a box. Take the box. I've solved your problem. You don't have to pay a cent. Everyone of the party is going to be deeply confused while you brought an empty box. But the cat will know. 01:04:48 Speaker 2: There we go. I like that gift cost nothing. Stephen does that feel like a decent cat? And I think people think it's funny too. 01:04:55 Speaker 3: There we go. You're the star of the party. The cat is now resenting you for even coming. 01:05:00 Speaker 2: Steven, you have cat parties. Stephen doesn't have cat parties. 01:05:03 Speaker 1: Doesn't care. 01:05:04 Speaker 2: She would go into another. That is her birthday in this letter. We don't know this question. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry it should we discuss that more? Do we all? Instantly? 01:05:21 Speaker 3: No? 01:05:21 Speaker 2: I don't know. 01:05:22 Speaker 3: Okay, enjoy uh dawn, moving on. We've got one more here, Bridger. Our friends are having a housewarming party and we want to get something they'll actually use. Any suggestions, thanks, Eric in Detroit. 01:05:37 Speaker 2: Oh, Detroit, I was gonna because la I'm gonna if it's la humidifire got you. Oh that's not a bad idea. Oh my god, that I would love anybody who you cannot have too many out here Detroit housewarming gift? Well, No, we're divided on the throw pillow situation. 01:05:57 Speaker 3: Look, throw pillows. If you brought throat pillows to my swarming party, I'd be thrilled on it takes a lot off my plate with neon pink. Yeah, the problem is that you bring a decor as go across. Yeah, then they've just got something they have to stuff in a closet or something. So avoid decor. I think unless you like are really on the same wavelength, which I doubt you are because you've written. 01:06:19 Speaker 2: Into this podcast. I mean you so many how good friends are you? Yeah? What you trying to spend? You want to do like a zero to one hundred dollars, Let's let's give him a range of zero to five thousand dollars. Ship just gonna go ahead and get him a vest, but a little something to zip around town. And trying to think, I mean any one of the gadgets that are you know, install it? 01:06:46 Speaker 1: Oh? 01:06:46 Speaker 2: People love vite to mix. What do you make anything at home? Happens? I do? Could? 01:06:52 Speaker 3: What do you put in an instant pot soup? That's what come to my apartment teach me how to know? But I need to learn to make food in my apartment. 01:07:00 Speaker 2: It's embarrassing. I used to be like like housewife mom, I like learned how to cook because it's cheap. 01:07:09 Speaker 3: Of course, and it saves you so much money. And I'm throwing money down the trail. 01:07:14 Speaker 2: Instipot is cool in that you can basically just throw shit in there that you know, complimentsage and it will be a meal. So what kind of souper you're making? Chicken toothia, chicken soup, stew, oh, strogan off, that's not soup. But I've made that in there. I've made let's see. And also I want to say, you don't need it in a lot of these things are The benefit is you can put it on in the morning and then that yeah, right, but all these things can be made on this stove. Sure, But what else have I made in there? Like french onion, vegetable soup? You know your kale. 01:07:53 Speaker 3: The other night I was dying for soup. I was yelping soup. Nobody serves soup, No, no delivery. They can't be trusted. So well, and then you're getting a cold soup And then why why am I even eating this? 01:08:04 Speaker 2: I'd rather eat the cold burger that I ordered. Everything is cold. 01:08:09 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so I igagink that's not a bad idea instant pod. I uh, airfryers are in the airs. I feel like air friers are going to go away real fast. 01:08:20 Speaker 2: I don't know. It feels like right back in. Once you tell your friends. 01:08:26 Speaker 3: Don't tell us, don't get an instant fire. That feels like something in twenty years that like a fondue pod or something. Right, Uh, Eric, I don't know. We've said a bunch of things here. 01:08:39 Speaker 2: I have one out. Janelle's got an idea. There's services depending also there in a city where you can get a weekly flower delivery. Oh that's not bad. 01:08:50 Speaker 3: And we've given them zero to five thousand dollars limits, so even it's for even it's. 01:08:54 Speaker 2: For if it's for a month, oh yeah. 01:08:58 Speaker 3: Four or whatever, to have fresh cut flowers in your house deliver. 01:09:01 Speaker 2: Yeah, that'd be nice. That's a great like a little poor thing that I've been doing, like like a gift to myself thing. 01:09:09 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it makes a huge difference. You can go to, you know, just the grocery store, you get some decent flowers. But if you get this person a subscription, yeah, that'd be nice. They'll never forget you. I'd like that, listeners. Janelle would like some flowers. She wants to be signed up for a subscription service. I don't know how many times I have to tell you she obviously is very sad and needs some flowers in her rental. That's how we're going to leave this podcast. 01:09:36 Speaker 2: Get a gag when you see how nice it is. I can't believe it. I can't what I was staying there last year. 01:09:41 Speaker 3: Well, first you're coming to my place to teach me how to make a soup, leaving my apartment until I have I'm going to buy an instant pot. 01:09:48 Speaker 2: So last year, when I was here in La and it rained like for like three minutes. My friend was coming on and she always tells everybody because it rained for like three minutes, I had like cann I had soup going. It was like she said, it was so hot in my house. I was just so happy, like, oh my god, winter a change, a change in temperater. I immediately went to wood cabin in the woods, like I love soup. Is the point of that story. 01:10:17 Speaker 3: Oh, we should all be making more soup. 01:10:19 Speaker 2: So she filling so many different options. Okay, well that's soon into my soup. Pockety, that's not a bad idea. 01:10:27 Speaker 3: I've listened to that, Janelle. It's been an absolute pleasure time. Thank you so much for being here. I'm gonna put this thing into use on some level. Yes, And I'm going to try to be a little bit more. I'm gonna be like I'm. 01:10:42 Speaker 2: Gonna see you on the street and be like, Bridgie, are you gonna be like? I have a meeting? It's in my bag. 01:10:47 Speaker 3: The first thing I'm putting in here is Janelle dash soup. Yes, and we'll figure it out. 01:10:54 Speaker 2: Check it off, baby. All right, everybody, have a wonderful recip your day. 01:10:58 Speaker 3: I love you. I said no gift. This isn't exactly right production. It's engineered by Earth Angel Stephen Ray Morris. The theme song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann. You can follow the show on Instagram and Twitter. At I said no gifts, And if you have a question or need help getting a gift for someone in your life, email me at I said no gifts at gmail dot com. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcast, Stitcher or wherever you found me. And why not leave a review while you're at it? 01:11:29 Speaker 2: Hello? Invit? 01:11:30 Speaker 1: Did you hear gonta mad? Myself perfectly clear? But you're I guess to me. 01:11:41 Speaker 2: You gotta come to me empty And. 01:11:46 Speaker 1: I said no guests, your presences, presents and I'm already at too. Much stuff, So how do you dad to surbey me became 01:12:03 Speaker 2: Within Chris