1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM and click submit 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live on 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 1: the air, just like we're going to read this one 6 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,080 Speaker 1: right here, right now, and you never know, it could 7 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,080 Speaker 1: be yours. It could be yours. Buckle up and hold 8 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you here. It is 9 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:29,479 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter, subject Dotting Thursday. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a 10 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: forty eight year old married woman and I've been married 11 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,239 Speaker 1: since I was twenty two years old. My husband is 12 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: three years my senior, and he swept me off my 13 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 1: feet right after I finished college. I had three kids 14 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: for him and they are grown. We traveled together and 15 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 1: we enjoy life as much as possible, but I wish 16 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 1: my husband was a little more involved in the church 17 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 1: than he is. We had our wild times and I 18 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: even smoked weed a few times. After I had my 19 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: last child. There's nothing left for me in the streets, 20 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: and I'm a homebody now. I want my husband at 21 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: home with me, but he's still out in the streets, 22 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 1: and I call it Thursday, and I call Thursdays stotting 23 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 1: Thursday because he bar hops with his friends that he's 24 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: known since high school every Thursday night. I thought we 25 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 1: were on the same spiritual journey for the past three 26 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: or four years, and I had high hopes that he 27 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 1: would stop going to the club. But he has not. 28 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: He has no problem going to Bible study one night, 29 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: then drinking and smoking hookah in the club the next night. 30 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 1: He doesn't even come home from work on Thursdays. He 31 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: heads over to Happy Hour and eats dinner, then he 32 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: goes to a ghetto bar and lounge, where he stays 33 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 1: until it closes. He comes in smelling like sweat and 34 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: weed mixed with cologne, and he climbs in the bed 35 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 1: with me and I have to fight him off of 36 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: me until he falls asleep. I told him, if he 37 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: keeps choosing the club over me and his faith, he 38 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: should stop pretending to be saved. I begged him to 39 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: go to counseling at church with me, but he doesn't 40 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: think he's got a problem. I am so worried that 41 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 1: a female thought might tempt him into doing something he's 42 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: not ready for. I feel like my husband and my 43 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: marriage might be slipping away. How can I keep my 44 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: husband out of the streets. Well, I mean, quite frankly, 45 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: I don't know that you can keep him out of 46 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: the streets. I mean, he has to want that, and 47 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: he does want it for six nights of the week. 48 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,959 Speaker 1: I mean, your only issue is Thursday that you talk about. 49 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 1: The problem is you want your husband to do like 50 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 1: you and be a homebody like you, and be at 51 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: home and go on your same spiritual journey. You want 52 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,640 Speaker 1: him to do that every day all day. But don't 53 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: you think he needs some time to himself as his wife. 54 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 1: I mean, he's not the homebody you are. It's not 55 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: like you know you don't know his every move on 56 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 1: Thursday nights because you told us all of it, about 57 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: the hookah and his high school friends, all of that. 58 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,519 Speaker 1: I mean, I agree, he probably does smell like smoke, 59 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: weed and cologne if he's been out all night, so 60 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: he probably does need to get his butt in the 61 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 1: shower before joining you in bed. But really, I think 62 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: what you need to do is relaxed and let this 63 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: man have a little fun one night of the week. 64 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: You gotta stop nagging him even goes to Bible study 65 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,399 Speaker 1: one of those nights. Not a lot of husbands will 66 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 1: do that. I think maybe you need to start getting 67 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: out more, and you know, stop nagging your husband about this. 68 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 1: I mean, you didn't say that he treats you badly 69 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: or anything like this. You just say he goes to 70 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: the club on Thursday nights. Come on, lady, come on, now, 71 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: that's not so bad, Steve, I must say, silly. I 72 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: am completely amazed at your response. Oh my god, the 73 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: growth in you as a woman, and I've watched it 74 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: after twenty two years, is absolutely phenomenal. I don't know 75 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: who this woman was reading this Strawberry let him this certain. 76 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 1: It's not the Shirley Strawer. This is my answer. This 77 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 1: is my answer. The Shelly Strawberry that I knew twenty 78 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: two years ago would have never responded to this twenty 79 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: two years Shirley twenty okay. But I'm just I'm complimenting 80 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: you on your growth. But you don't want it because 81 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,359 Speaker 1: you are tight, because you think it's a criticism, but 82 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: it's not. But I just don't know the woman that 83 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 1: I'm doing the Strawberry letter with no more. We may 84 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: had to change the name of the letter from strawberry. 85 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: I don't know. Just the damn letter with her and me. Uh, 86 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,480 Speaker 1: this is an amazing letter because I'm not really sure 87 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,119 Speaker 1: if this woman understands what the problem is. You forty 88 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 1: eight years old, you've been married twenty six years um 89 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 1: to this man. You you ain't said, y'all had no problems. 90 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: He's three years older than you, he's fifty one. You 91 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 1: forty eight, Uh, didn't know. Your concern is I wish 92 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 1: my husband was a little more involved in the church 93 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: that he is. Okay, that's that's okay, that's fair. We 94 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: had our wild times and then here you go with 95 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 1: some information we don't need. You said, I even smoked 96 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: weed a few times after I had my last child, 97 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,599 Speaker 1: the last wait that long started trying weed for anyway, 98 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: That ain't my business. But you made it man, because 99 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,840 Speaker 1: you put it in the letter. Had nothing left for 100 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: me in the streets, and I'm a home body now 101 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 1: and I want my husband home with me. Well, see, 102 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: here's the problem. You made a change that your husband 103 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: wasn't quite in line with. Y'all didn't discuss we're gonna 104 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: stop going out in the streets. You decided you hadn't 105 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: had enough. He didn't, and now you calling Thursdays foughting. Third, 106 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: you got a husband that's fifty one years old that 107 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: Bob hops with his friends that he's known since high 108 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 1: school every Thursday night. That right there, in itself is 109 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: a little crazy because at fifty one you still bar hopping. 110 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 1: That's a little odd to me. That's fifty one. I 111 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: don't know when bab hopping should stop. I'm thinking it 112 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: can't extend no where. What's the age limit for bar hopping? Tommy? 113 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: That is something? That is something, Yeah, and it references 114 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:39,279 Speaker 1: to stuff like that. I go to Tommy Junior. You agree, yes, 115 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,040 Speaker 1: about thirty seven, but I will give you up to forty. 116 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,279 Speaker 1: All right, hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of 117 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. 118 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter, subject thotting Thursday. We'll get back into 119 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:55,799 Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening Steve Harpy Morning Show. 120 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. 121 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,480 Speaker 1: The subject thought Thursday. Well, we got a funny of 122 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: year old woman that's been married to her husband since 123 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,160 Speaker 1: they was twenty two years old. He's fifty one, she's 124 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 1: forty eight, and they have children, and they used to 125 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,679 Speaker 1: enjoy their little street life. But after her third child, 126 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: and she smoked a little weed. But now she's tired 127 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: of that and she's a home body. Nine. She wants 128 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: her husband to be at home with me, but he's 129 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: still out in the streets. And she calls him thoughting 130 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: Thursday because every Thursday he bob hopped with his friends. 131 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: That's known since high school, bob hopping at fifty one 132 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: and wad late in the game. You long in the tooth. 133 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 1: You this ain't this ain't what you do when you're 134 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 1: in the club, got your suit on. They don't even 135 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 1: wet suits the clubs. No moment. He ain't he out 136 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 1: of line? He out of pocket? Okay, And then she said, 137 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: I thought we were on the same spiritual journey for 138 00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 1: the past three or four years. Where your thoughts wrong? 139 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: You thought he didn't think that, And so now I 140 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 1: had high hopes that he would stop going to the club, 141 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: but he has not. He has no problem going to 142 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 1: Bible study one night, then drinking and smoker. Who could 143 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 1: in the club the next night? Lady, that's really normal. 144 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: I don't know where the shock is for you. I 145 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 1: can't tell you the people that go to Bible study 146 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: choir rehearsal prap me but sad to get him. I 147 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 1: can't tell you the people that can't hardly get up 148 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: to attend service in the morning and get their roll 149 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 1: on to getting that choir because of what happened Saturday night. 150 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: So it ain't just your husband. Please don't stop thinking 151 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 1: because you went to Bible study one night, then drinking 152 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 1: a smoker who get in the club the next night. 153 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: He don't even come home from work on Thursdays. That nah, 154 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: here we go. He don't even come home. I ain't 155 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,719 Speaker 1: even swinging by the house because he don't want to 156 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: hear your mouth. So he goes straight from he can't 157 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:16,440 Speaker 1: wait to Thursday, him and his boy Thursday, Thursday bigger 158 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: this Saturday, Man, we're gonna go down. Hell man. He 159 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: head over the happy hour, he eat dinner, and then 160 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 1: he goes to a ghetto bar and a lounge where 161 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,439 Speaker 1: he stays until it closed. Now, lady, I don't know, 162 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,319 Speaker 1: I'm gonna save my answer for them. Anyway. He comes 163 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: in smelling like sweating weed mixed with cologne. He climbs 164 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,840 Speaker 1: in the bed with me and I have to fight 165 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:46,959 Speaker 1: him off until he falls asleep because he's coming home. 166 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: He drunk and he's still smoking. Wee, see you stopped 167 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:55,440 Speaker 1: smoking weed. No, he kept smoking weed and he drinking 168 00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 1: so heat, doing a infemine in a ball and he's 169 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 1: coming in the house with that mix. That's like when 170 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,840 Speaker 1: people drank a tequila and Red Bull. Vodka and red 171 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 1: Bull that's an upper anna down. The red bull is 172 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: an anphetamine, means it amps you up. Red Bull amps 173 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:19,319 Speaker 1: you up. The vodka is a depressant of ball bituate. 174 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 1: That's how you know the difference. Barbituates take you down. 175 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 1: A phetamines amps take you up. Now you to mix 176 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: the two. Now he coming there and his brain fall asleep. 177 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 1: I told him, if he keeps choosing the club over me, 178 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: I told him, if he keeps choosing the club over 179 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: me and his faith, he should stop pretending to be saved. 180 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 1: That's not an ultimatum. See, I was waiting on you 181 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,559 Speaker 1: to say. If if he keeps choosing the club over 182 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 1: me and his faith, I'm leaving you said. I told him, 183 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,680 Speaker 1: if he keeps choosing the club over me and his faith, 184 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 1: he should stop pretending to be saved. He he might 185 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: not be pretending to be saved. Hello, we are all 186 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 1: sinners saved by grace. Because you saved, don't mean you 187 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:15,000 Speaker 1: don't sin. You know on a horle who you thinking 188 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 1: had his perfect life? He ain't. I begged him to 189 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: go to counseling that church with me, but he don't 190 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: think he got a problem. I'm so worried that a 191 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 1: female might tempt him into doing something he's not ready for. 192 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: What did you just say? Wait a minute, home, let 193 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: me back that lineup. I'm so worried that a female, 194 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 1: fought might tempt him into doing something he's not ready for. 195 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: What you mean he ain't ready for? And where do 196 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 1: you get this? I'm worried that a female might tempt him. 197 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: What you think happening at the club every Thursday? They 198 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: going down now for temptation. They going to that ghetto 199 00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 1: club for lust. They're going down to that ghetto club 200 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:05,719 Speaker 1: up to drink, get high. It ain't just dudes at 201 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 1: that club, lady. I'm just gonna be real with you 202 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,480 Speaker 1: so you can stop all this. I'm wared that a 203 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:15,440 Speaker 1: female thought might tempt him into doing something he ain't 204 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 1: ready for. Lady, I feel like my husband and my 205 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 1: marriage might be slipping away? How can I keep my 206 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,960 Speaker 1: husband out of the streets. You can't. Your husband had 207 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,560 Speaker 1: to want to come out of the streets, but he old, 208 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:31,480 Speaker 1: or he don't even look good down there no more. 209 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 1: But I'll tell you what could show enough break it up. 210 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,680 Speaker 1: I'm not saying you ought to do this, but if 211 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 1: you popped up down there after get old little rue 212 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: had a change everything that never be the same. I 213 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 1: don't suggest you do that because he he ain't gonna 214 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:56,080 Speaker 1: he really ain't gonna like you. Then at least he 215 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,960 Speaker 1: tried to climb in bed with you when he come 216 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 1: in on Thursday. If you go down, then he ain't 217 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 1: gonna cut you again. That's what damn show. Post your 218 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 1: comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM and 219 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast 220 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 1: on demand now coming up at forty six minutes after 221 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: the album, got some sports talk from Junior. Right after this, 222 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 1: you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.