Speaker 1: The Nick Griser podcast. Niser, here's Nicking. Hello here I am,
Speaker 1: It's Nick Leser podcast. Welcome to the show. It's Wednesday.
Speaker 1: I am one seven days a wait wait, wait period
Speaker 1: in seven days. I just check my flow out because
Speaker 1: I'm just feeling just so gross today and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what day of my cycle is this where my vagina
Speaker 1: feels like an armpit, just like kind of like an
Speaker 1: undodorized arm Dearn saying where it just like is weeping,
Speaker 1: not in a yeast infection way, but it's just like
Speaker 1: sweating and like feels gross and and I feel heavy.
Speaker 1: My boobs feel heavy, my like skin feels heavy, My
Speaker 1: arms feel like old librarian's arms, my like my Lulu
Speaker 1: Lemon leggings. I am now avoiding certain Lulu Lemon leggings
Speaker 1: because they're too tight. That is when you know things
Speaker 1: are not as they should be. When don't even I
Speaker 1: don't even bother looking at the jeans anymore. I I
Speaker 1: have borne the same size jeans for four fall, winter season,
Speaker 1: spring seasons in a row, for five maybe six years,
Speaker 1: maintained it. It's time to retire them. They're not It's
Speaker 1: not going to happen all of my jeans are my
Speaker 1: skinny jeans now and there I am at the stage
Speaker 1: of a woman where the your body starts to change
Speaker 1: and you're just gonna get bigger from now on. And
Speaker 1: that's okay, it just happens. It's like I have to
Speaker 1: just say goodbye to those pants, but to avoid certain
Speaker 1: Lululemon leggings, like I have my ones that are like
Speaker 1: those are my skinny leggings. They're leggings. They stretched to
Speaker 1: any size practically, I mean I know that there. I'm
Speaker 1: just like feeling so look, but it's seven days away.
Speaker 1: That's it. And you know what, I paid eight dollars
Speaker 1: for this fucking app to tell me that, And that
Speaker 1: is this is the you know, the count tax I
Speaker 1: guess what they call it. If you have a vagina
Speaker 1: and you have to pay for things that men don't
Speaker 1: have to pay for, do you pay for any apps
Speaker 1: that tell you when I need Yeah, six days away.
Speaker 1: My balls feel like a wet like locker room towel
Speaker 1: and just heavy. I don't need to make this sexist thing,
Speaker 1: but all my apps And do you ever look at
Speaker 1: the apps that you've subscribed to and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I've been paying for this like learn how to play
Speaker 1: piano app for fourteen years month or whatever. I think
Speaker 1: I'm paying to learn how to download an app. I'm
Speaker 1: paying for that. I'm paying twenty a month. Do you
Speaker 1: ever look at your subscriptions to see I bought video
Speaker 1: game a video game app where you can't you can't
Speaker 1: upload these video games without having insane amount of memory
Speaker 1: or you have to be locked into a WiFi. So
Speaker 1: I bought like an arcade thing that was like on
Speaker 1: the airplane, I had whatever anxiety and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll just play NBA Jam to feel normal again. And
Speaker 1: I couldn't download it so on pain, and I haven't
Speaker 1: canceled it yet. Where do I go for that? Where
Speaker 1: are subscriptions? So I always just Google cancel subscription and
Speaker 1: then um, and then it's probably like the third thing down.
Speaker 1: It shows you are you guys doing it right now?
Speaker 1: Because it's like you're Apple, and you know if you
Speaker 1: want to cancel subscription from Apple, and then you go
Speaker 1: to that and you click on the cancel a subscription
Speaker 1: blue button and then you see all your They make
Speaker 1: it so hard to have to pay for that now. Everything.
Speaker 1: Let's see, um I have so I'm paying for Apple
Speaker 1: TV for ninety nine. I'm paying for Discovery plus six.
Speaker 1: I'm paying for Flow Period, Trucker app, Hbo Max, instas size,
Speaker 1: which is a thing that really bothers me with Instagram
Speaker 1: photos where people will post them and it'll I'm a
Speaker 1: big proponent of like photos should be there are a
Speaker 1: certain size for a reason, Like they look good when
Speaker 1: you edit them because they're the whole size, and I
Speaker 1: need that whole thing to fit in the tiny little
Speaker 1: box and it'll crop it weird. So instasize crops it
Speaker 1: so you can keep your whole photo in that. Well,
Speaker 1: that's four nine a month just to have pleasant looking photos,
Speaker 1: have a crossword puzzle six a month. New York Times
Speaker 1: digital subscription, what's a year? Waking up? Um Meditation app
Speaker 1: a hundred dollars a year, but that also gives me
Speaker 1: access to Sam Harris's extended podcast and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: YouTube premium a month. I am somehow not showing certain
Speaker 1: things that I think I paid for, but maybe I
Speaker 1: paid for it in different ways, so it's not showing
Speaker 1: on my phone like Spotify, I pay for it because
Speaker 1: I don't have YO had a trick you by hiding it.
Speaker 1: You probably have to go huh oh, yeah, you probably
Speaker 1: have to go up into the app. Do you have
Speaker 1: any apps there that I just have Repost, which is
Speaker 1: so you can repost like a photo or a video
Speaker 1: from either someone else or from your screen record or
Speaker 1: text that person to send it to you. That'll save
Speaker 1: you so much. And when you do repost, they put
Speaker 1: that little stamp on the bottom. I guess if you pay,
Speaker 1: they remove this dollar a week. Oh no, and get
Speaker 1: that off their cancel it right now. Okay, this is
Speaker 1: we're cleaning up show. Then I got um anal leakage.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I'm paying for that. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean that's like something you'd want to subscribe from, but
Speaker 1: maybe for free good you would think, Noah, I'm not
Speaker 1: subscribing from Discovery. Plus what am I? What am I
Speaker 1: doing that for? Because you watch one show? One showed
Speaker 1: one show called sex life, and you know what fun
Speaker 1: that show? By? No I watched it. But YouTube I
Speaker 1: pay for premium Apple TV and Apple Arcade. Apple Arcade
Speaker 1: is gone. I gotta get rid of this bit. Okay.
Speaker 1: I just bought Headspace for a year, but unwittingly I
Speaker 1: download like I I subscribe to the two week trial,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, I'm going to delete it
Speaker 1: unless I really want to keep it. Remember when I
Speaker 1: texted you like two weeks ago and I'm like, will
Speaker 1: you be my meditation accountability partner? Yes? Yes, So I
Speaker 1: was on a streak. Yeah, I was on a streak
Speaker 1: and then I stopped and I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I really like this app too much. And then
Speaker 1: I forgot to um to subscribe. But it was kind
Speaker 1: of like on purpose so that I would keep it
Speaker 1: so that I feel like I'm forced to use it
Speaker 1: at that. Yeah, so you gotta use it because now
Speaker 1: you bought it, so it's like you got to use it.
Speaker 1: You won't, but I mean it's not gonna have it
Speaker 1: if you will or won't. Yeah, it's so hard. I
Speaker 1: bought a productivity app called Fabulous Daily Habit Tracker. You
Speaker 1: know how on Instagram they get you, They'll be like, yes,
Speaker 1: they'll they just get you. All My Instagram ads are
Speaker 1: always about productivity, meditation, breathwork. That's why instag using your ace,
Speaker 1: fertility updates, um, losing weight, like it's all they like,
Speaker 1: know what I want, even though I don't even ask
Speaker 1: for that. It's free it was the first period. Tracker
Speaker 1: tells them everything your blood and they're like, this girl
Speaker 1: needs some vitamin D. Know what I want? They know,
Speaker 1: I need stretch your leggings right about now, and like
Speaker 1: you're guaranteed you're gonna get it. Dumpling service pants to
Speaker 1: side advertising is for dumplings. For I just like looking
Speaker 1: at them. I don't even want to eat them, but
Speaker 1: I do. Like I'm almost like you with Halsey, like
Speaker 1: licking my phone, but I'm not. I shall not have that.
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't. I can't get new pants. I
Speaker 1: just don't want to do it. It's not about like
Speaker 1: I know I feel better new pants. I just don't
Speaker 1: want to. I like those genes I've had. I like
Speaker 1: the breaking they start getting holes around the the belt loops,
Speaker 1: you know, because that's where you're hiking them up and
Speaker 1: like trying to pull them. And then they start getting
Speaker 1: the scenes get loose there and the belt loops start
Speaker 1: giving out. I've been through this before. You know how
Speaker 1: they hang jerseys on the wall of like retired players,
Speaker 1: like your jeans a jeans wall just be like yeared
Speaker 1: two th I bought some like really fun like oversized baggy,
Speaker 1: like good American Kardashian um oversized like boyfriend jeans, because
Speaker 1: they had all these supermodels wearing them where they you know,
Speaker 1: Emily Radishowski with that fucking luge um div it down
Speaker 1: her stomachs like an ice lose that I went through
Speaker 1: at a frat party down her stomach. So I see
Speaker 1: all those girls where they're just like wearing them around
Speaker 1: their heads, and they had these tiny stomachs, and they
Speaker 1: just look like so cozy and tiny. The problem is
Speaker 1: really really thin women, like model esque. Thin women look amazing,
Speaker 1: and oversize is closed. They look tinier. But if you're
Speaker 1: just anything other than that, you're gonna look bigger when
Speaker 1: you put on oversized clothes. I bought these. I went
Speaker 1: with these instead of a slim I just make my
Speaker 1: legs just look shorter. Wait, I can't tell the wait,
Speaker 1: I don't know those black I don't know what you're
Speaker 1: telling me right now. These are at five nine, so
Speaker 1: I just look like four eleven because they're baggy. A
Speaker 1: tall guy could get away with baggy clothes, right right right,
Speaker 1: short guy can't. So I'm like just agreeing with you
Speaker 1: like that. These make my legs look just shorter, like
Speaker 1: I can't get away with it like this, this big
Speaker 1: T shirt look that girls do I love where you'll
Speaker 1: be big T shirt with um, you know, bite tiny shorts,
Speaker 1: cycling shorts. Yeah, bite shorts. You could pull that off.
Speaker 1: I but I've seen pictures where I'm like, oh that
Speaker 1: you just look bigger. You don't look like a little
Speaker 1: tiny girl swimming in something. It just it just doesn't work.
Speaker 1: And so the these pants that I bought, I bought
Speaker 1: four pairs just on a fucking whim, being like, I
Speaker 1: need comfortable jeans that are like just around the house,
Speaker 1: sexy jeans that I walk out and you know, my
Speaker 1: my fucking hip bones are jutting out of the top
Speaker 1: and everyone wants to fuck me because I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: just so tiny and these little jeans I don't even
Speaker 1: know how to keep them up, and I need a
Speaker 1: big old boyfriend's belt and they are tight on me.
Speaker 1: They don't they don't fit. They are they are also
Speaker 1: jeans that are They actually fit me perfectly, And it's
Speaker 1: insulting that these genes that are supposed to be me,
Speaker 1: like you just buying jeans like these are too big.
Speaker 1: I can't I wanted to that's what I wanted in
Speaker 1: your closet. You're wearing mom jeans. Do you ever eat
Speaker 1: because you think it might make you thinner? Like, do
Speaker 1: you ever I mean, do you ever eat because you
Speaker 1: are so sad about not like how much you've eaten,
Speaker 1: or like you just you are so sad about like
Speaker 1: these pants don't fit, and you kind of convince yourself
Speaker 1: it might be something proactive to do. Like for me,
Speaker 1: I just don't know what to do besides eat or sleep.
Speaker 1: So if you're feeling overweight, you're not good in my body,
Speaker 1: whether it's like just itchy, skin dry, my face feels
Speaker 1: craggy and old, but you don't feel like you're doubling down,
Speaker 1: like you're like, well, fuck it, I'm already feeling big. No,
Speaker 1: it's not fuck it. It's like, actually this will help
Speaker 1: me in some way. It's so healthy things, So maybe
Speaker 1: that's it. I feel like eating healthy things is better
Speaker 1: than eating no things. Well, there's a thing to eating
Speaker 1: five small meals that apparently in an afternoon. It's just
Speaker 1: I'm just also, you know, whenever this stuff happens, it's
Speaker 1: just depression. And I just saw a meme yesterday that
Speaker 1: was like when my regular depression meets seasonal depression and
Speaker 1: it's just like a thing on top of a thing.
Speaker 1: And then like the weather outside is just like the
Speaker 1: sun is going away, Vitamin D is sucked out of
Speaker 1: that miss I don't even science and just feeling bedraggled.
Speaker 1: I can't get out of bed until eleven o'clock every
Speaker 1: single day. And after this podcast, I'm going back to bed.
Speaker 1: I'm going to l A on Monday. And I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to have like a productive life and I'm supposed to
Speaker 1: be like getting back into work, and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I don't know how I'm going to do this. All
Speaker 1: I want to do is sleep. And I think about
Speaker 1: mothers and like people who have responsibilities, and I seriously
Speaker 1: feel like I or women that are just have actually
Speaker 1: autoimmune disorders that make them tired. I feel so bad
Speaker 1: for people who are chronically sleepy. I just don't know
Speaker 1: how they do it. I'm so tired all the time.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's do you debate in the morning of
Speaker 1: getting out of visit always a constant debate, like no,
Speaker 1: it's I opened my eyes and I go, no, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be I just go is I hope
Speaker 1: it's still because my rooms are dark. I just hope
Speaker 1: it's four in the morning so that I have and
Speaker 1: if it's eight, I go, okay, Earl. My new four
Speaker 1: in the morning is eight because I don't get up
Speaker 1: till eleven. So it still feels like this is great.
Speaker 1: So then I just keep going because if I'm awake,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna eat. I'm just gonna eat. And I'm
Speaker 1: and I'm bored. I don't I haven't been inspired to
Speaker 1: do and I know it's like, oh, you should go
Speaker 1: do things, and like, I just don't want to do
Speaker 1: anything though. I don't want to do anything except um
Speaker 1: and I can't watch anything because I have no one
Speaker 1: to watch stuff with and I get bored doing that.
Speaker 1: So I just I go to Starbucks to write. Yesterday,
Speaker 1: I walked in there and I went to write. I
Speaker 1: wrote for twenty minutes, which is like more than enough
Speaker 1: for me. I got a lot done in that time.
Speaker 1: I just like it's billed out, and then I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm done, and I felt accomplished. I'm packing up my
Speaker 1: laptop and this guy is like, who is sitting next
Speaker 1: to me the whole time? And I think does not
Speaker 1: even notice me or like doing his own thing. He's
Speaker 1: like done for the day, and I'm just like, no, yes,
Speaker 1: you know what, definitely, And now I'm grossed out. I
Speaker 1: don't want to go back to Starbucks. I don't want
Speaker 1: men like watching what I'm doing and like waiting for
Speaker 1: me to get up so they can say something. And
Speaker 1: I know I've complained before about men not hitting on me,
Speaker 1: but I do not want to be like commented on
Speaker 1: about especially your work, your work, the work of the day.
Speaker 1: And I go and he got there after I did,
Speaker 1: so he didn't know how long I worked for, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? So I could have been there
Speaker 1: hours before he sat down. He could have just what
Speaker 1: time was it. He's probably just four something like that.
Speaker 1: Work ethic goes to five. You know, that's a real
Speaker 1: work day. I can't believe people who work like actual
Speaker 1: long hours, right, I can't. I can't go to a
Speaker 1: coffee shop and feel comfortable enough to like be productive.
Speaker 1: I feel every place I can feel comfortable working because
Speaker 1: it's you're accountable, there are people right next to you.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like the atmosphere of like you work here.
Speaker 1: And because it's performative, that's the only way I work
Speaker 1: is if there's something on the line where someone's expecting
Speaker 1: something out of me and they're right next to me,
Speaker 1: like I just you. Oh yeah, I used to what
Speaker 1: was it called? I forget what it was, you, I
Speaker 1: forget what it was called. It was it was like
Speaker 1: something work made or something. And you go and you
Speaker 1: get randomly assigned to someone else who wants to work
Speaker 1: for fifty minutes, and you both have a talk on
Speaker 1: like video about what you're going to work on, and
Speaker 1: then you check in fifty minutes later and you're both
Speaker 1: there and your cameras are both on like making you accountable.
Speaker 1: So it kind of brings the Starbucks library type atmosphere
Speaker 1: to your computer. And I used to do that a
Speaker 1: lot and get stuff done when I used to have
Speaker 1: like things do, But now there's nothing do. It's kind
Speaker 1: of just like, um, you have to manage your own time.
Speaker 1: That's the difficult thing when you don't have like a
Speaker 1: nine to five and you have to hold yourself accountable. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think I used to make to do lists of
Speaker 1: like I'll do this from this. There was a time
Speaker 1: during the pandemic when I was so depressed. I had
Speaker 1: some like intervention methods of like this is what you
Speaker 1: need to do. You don't have a choice. And it
Speaker 1: was like every day, make your schedule the day before.
Speaker 1: You'll have more things to keep from thinking about stuff,
Speaker 1: like you know, you have more things to do, potentially
Speaker 1: will be at work all day. I'll just be like
Speaker 1: I've lived and I'm living in Santa Monica. I've lived
Speaker 1: there before. Yeah, and um, it's just like I just
Speaker 1: I'll I'm actually already nauseated by like all these green juice,
Speaker 1: perfect bodied women with like like straight hair, and they're
Speaker 1: little and they're just they're matches that they sip on,
Speaker 1: like I will finish a Grande Macha in one sip,
Speaker 1: and they just go and they just little SIPs and
Speaker 1: like they can like milk one for all day long,
Speaker 1: and they like carried around and it gets like a
Speaker 1: little water at the top because it's like the ice
Speaker 1: melted is They're just like I don't know, I'm just
Speaker 1: not that into it. And uh and they have they're
Speaker 1: just yoga clothes on and they don't have I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just can't take it. Like a longboard skateboard you
Speaker 1: in the morning. That's more of my look I look
Speaker 1: like a homeless beach man. You really do look. I mean,
Speaker 1: it comes out very funny. I'll tell you that depression hilarious.
Speaker 1: I've been making my friend laugh on the group chat
Speaker 1: because I'm just like just questioning things like why I'm
Speaker 1: not even trying to be funny. Why do we like men?
Speaker 1: Like why are we attracted them? Like what is the point?
Speaker 1: And then there was this other thing of like just
Speaker 1: not feeling like a woman. Like my you know friend
Speaker 1: Kirsten is like, Oh, I'm making fall pots where it's
Speaker 1: just like these pots you put on your front doorstep
Speaker 1: that are like winter foliage. I guess that you know,
Speaker 1: can withstand the cold temperatures. And I'm like, why, why
Speaker 1: is that a thing? And how do you know about this?
Speaker 1: And like why am I not a real woman that's
Speaker 1: ever heard of fall pots? And why would that not
Speaker 1: interest me? Why you're going to like this is what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about when girls have days off and they're like, Nick,
Speaker 1: you need a day off? And I go, I don't
Speaker 1: because it would mean me going to the plant store
Speaker 1: and like walking around with a big gas cart and
Speaker 1: having to get a bag of soil and then some
Speaker 1: pick up it's just too much. There's always something I'm
Speaker 1: not doing, fall pots you put on your front porch
Speaker 1: that has wintry foliage that doesn't like And I said why,
Speaker 1: or like points setias or you know mm's And I'm like,
Speaker 1: why not a tree? Why not a lot? Like why
Speaker 1: is it a pot? Like who determined that this is
Speaker 1: the thing. I want to be Kelly RiPP I want
Speaker 1: to just be a woman that just does everything that
Speaker 1: could be an entertainment. Can look stunning on shows, has
Speaker 1: a cute sense of humor, likes to bake, has kids
Speaker 1: that love her, has a husband that she still has
Speaker 1: like a great relationship with, Like how do these women
Speaker 1: have it all? And that it also drinks wine and
Speaker 1: doesn't have a problem with it, like still has like
Speaker 1: flirty fun times with her husband and like it's the
Speaker 1: non funny answer is that she's definitely has the same
Speaker 1: kind of thoughts and same kind of sadness and you
Speaker 1: don't see it because she she pilates it out. And
Speaker 1: I stayed, I doubt Kelly Rippo has been through months
Speaker 1: of her life where she couldn't get out of bed,
Speaker 1: Like I have wasted so much of my life in
Speaker 1: my room, dark room when the sun is shining outside
Speaker 1: for more months of my life probably spent, and like,
Speaker 1: spend a day with Kelly Rippa. You know, if I
Speaker 1: had a TV show, that would maybe be a fun
Speaker 1: thing to pitch on a TV show. That's a great idea.
Speaker 1: We'll be back with Kelly Rippa right after this. Andrew
Speaker 1: coming to me, Kelly, he's so happy, plots all day.
Speaker 1: Let my husband nine pack. Alright, we're back. Let's let's
Speaker 1: skip any more of my blathering about how sad I
Speaker 1: am and inadequate when really everything is just great. I
Speaker 1: have nothing to plan about, and honestly, the only thing
Speaker 1: that makes me okay right now is the fact that
Speaker 1: whenever I get jealous of another woman right now in
Speaker 1: my life, I go, We're probably gonna die from nuclear
Speaker 1: war at the same time, and it doesn't matter. And
Speaker 1: all these women that are getting pregnant and working on
Speaker 1: their fertility and I'm jealous of them because I wish
Speaker 1: I wanted to do that. I'm like, they're gonna die
Speaker 1: in eight weeks too. We're all going to perish at
Speaker 1: the same time. And your skin is all gonna melt
Speaker 1: off at the same time, and your eggs that you froze,
Speaker 1: are all gonna melt in that lab that you froze them? Honestly,
Speaker 1: these are my thoughts lately. I My next special is
Speaker 1: going to be a dark one because I've been putting
Speaker 1: this all down and I'm like, I'm not a bad person.
Speaker 1: It's not like I make these things happening. Dark things
Speaker 1: one week before your period. Yeah, my special. You should
Speaker 1: do all your writing when you feel like your vagina
Speaker 1: is an armpit. Well, I've been writing down my dark thoughts,
Speaker 1: like my really dark thoughts where I like wish death
Speaker 1: upon people. Secretly, I think Dahmer's helping me get there
Speaker 1: because his dad was like, I'm learing these glasses right
Speaker 1: now for the fraction of you watching arrest. But it's
Speaker 1: because my face is disgusting right now and I can't
Speaker 1: handle it anymore and I can't look at it, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to be on video. This is a
Speaker 1: great day. I'm having fun, am fun of my depression.
Speaker 1: It's actually putting me in a good man. But the
Speaker 1: dark thoughts I've been like, because on Dahmer Dahmer's Dad,
Speaker 1: once you get into like later episodes Dahmer's Dad, and
Speaker 1: it's you know comes out what he did and he's arrested.
Speaker 1: Dahmer's dad starts having like these really, he just is
Speaker 1: placing all the blame on himself. He's like, I had
Speaker 1: dark these. I had these thoughts too. I wanted to
Speaker 1: hypnotize the neighborho girls so I could control her, because
Speaker 1: that's all what Dahmer wanted to do. He was not
Speaker 1: someone who would even liked to kill people. He only
Speaker 1: killed people because he wanted them to just be not
Speaker 1: like nothing. He didn't like enjoy some guys like enjoy strangling,
Speaker 1: like get. He didn't get aroused from that, um and
Speaker 1: so his dad felt guilty. And his dad is crying
Speaker 1: to um, you know, his wife, Damer's step mom, and
Speaker 1: he's like, I did this to my boy. I used
Speaker 1: to have these thoughts. I thought in church about murdering people,
Speaker 1: what it would feel like to murder someone. And I
Speaker 1: don't have those thoughts, but it was nice to hear.
Speaker 1: Yeah not a church outside the church. Yeah, well, what
Speaker 1: are your dark There's nothing wrong with having thoughts. People.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you say thoughts and people go it's like, well
Speaker 1: it didn't I didn't do it. It's not who you are.
Speaker 1: You can think about murdering people all day long, and
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not a homicide. I don't have homicidal fantasies.
Speaker 1: I just had of fantasies of people's lives falling apart
Speaker 1: that I'm jealous of, just because I want them to
Speaker 1: experience yea, sadness and hurt. Yeah, I just don't want
Speaker 1: them to have these perfect lives. And it's it's a
Speaker 1: really bad part of me, because the thing is, they
Speaker 1: do have sad parts of their lives. I just don't
Speaker 1: see that. But I think that sometimes people get so
Speaker 1: upset for people. It's almost like thought crimes, Like you're
Speaker 1: a bad person because you think it, like George Orwelly
Speaker 1: and type um things. But it's like I am realizing, oh,
Speaker 1: my thoughts, there's nothing wrong with them there. I mean
Speaker 1: there is if I act on them, But thoughts themselves,
Speaker 1: I can think anything I want, especially you know how
Speaker 1: many times I wanted to throw a baby in a
Speaker 1: stroller on the track on the track. But why because
Speaker 1: the baby is crying or because you're just like angry,
Speaker 1: Probably because um I had to get your coffee. No,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it was just like get
Speaker 1: my coffee, by the way, because I just don't trust
Speaker 1: you grabbing the right one. That is one thing I
Speaker 1: always get myself. I used to get it when we
Speaker 1: were whatever. But yeah, so anyway, you know, and also
Speaker 1: because I never wanted to be left alone in the
Speaker 1: uber with the uber driver. Can you go, I'll get it?
Speaker 1: Why you got it? All? I ever wanted to be
Speaker 1: alone with the uber driver. You would always leave me
Speaker 1: a little. You'd be like, I'll get it, acting like
Speaker 1: a hero. I'm like, you're not a hero right now,
Speaker 1: you're talking about you nice, You're leaving me with the
Speaker 1: weird conversation. I mean, you could have come with me,
Speaker 1: but I did not want to be in there alone,
Speaker 1: no way. So yeah, no, I mean, I don't know
Speaker 1: why I would want to do that. I just like,
Speaker 1: it's just the thought that I think I was just
Speaker 1: frustrated with my day picking up nineteen things a dogshit,
Speaker 1: you know, smelling like dogshit, feeling like dogs or were
Speaker 1: you just joking? I don't know if I was joking there.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm trying to get it. What do you mean,
Speaker 1: Like I didn't notice baby, I didn't know the baby.
Speaker 1: I don't know the baby's man. Towards just like Rando's. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but unless they are doing something in that moment, maybe
Speaker 1: throwing someone down the stairs in front of me at
Speaker 1: some point that's walking too slow and I'm like, let's
Speaker 1: see them fall down mine flights, you know, I was like,
Speaker 1: I wish there's more flights for the fall. The mine
Speaker 1: gets mine or more specific is interesting because that's like
Speaker 1: a different that's like, is that more or less premeditate?
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that would be like, because I
Speaker 1: had mine are never violent, I'll say that mine are
Speaker 1: always Like I hope she falls. That's violent? Is it's
Speaker 1: not me pushing her, not me strangling or not me
Speaker 1: doing it? Like I don't want to see the fall
Speaker 1: I hear about it. I actually I don't wish that.
Speaker 1: I wish on like, um, I hope that she gets
Speaker 1: broken up with and has to have heartbreak. I hope
Speaker 1: that she I hope she develops. I hope she like
Speaker 1: I hope she gets a thyroid condition that makes her
Speaker 1: gain weight for a few months, just so she can
Speaker 1: see what it's like to not be the skinny bitch
Speaker 1: that guess whatever she wants. And by the way, these
Speaker 1: are dark thoughts that are like I really don't wish
Speaker 1: that on someone. I don't. I really don't at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, if I really think about it,
Speaker 1: I don't want anyone to feel sad or bad. But
Speaker 1: I think that when I get jealous, my jealousy just
Speaker 1: knows no bounds, Like I get so jealous of people, Like,
Speaker 1: but it's it's been this way in my whole life.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll get to it. Um well, I guess
Speaker 1: it won't get to something. But yesterday I was writing
Speaker 1: about it, and I'm like, it started when I was
Speaker 1: so young. I may have said this on the podcast before.
Speaker 1: I remember, because you remember things from your childhood early
Speaker 1: by the way your parents react, or by the way
Speaker 1: someone reacts. If someone goes, oh my god, you know,
Speaker 1: like you just say dumb things, but if someone really
Speaker 1: laughs at something you say, or someone who's really horrified,
Speaker 1: it kind of sticks in your head. And I remember
Speaker 1: one time which this would not have stuck in my
Speaker 1: head except my mom's reaction was I was probably seven
Speaker 1: or eight, and I was like, Mom, I'm never gonna
Speaker 1: have kids. She was like, okay, Nikki, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I just don't want them, because what if I have
Speaker 1: a daughter and she's that means she's younger than me,
Speaker 1: and I'll be jealous and I don't. And I didn't
Speaker 1: even like men at that obviously, I didn't like mentalas yesterday.
Speaker 1: Where did you hear the younger thing? You just I
Speaker 1: just picked it up, That's what I'm saying. I just
Speaker 1: had to come from somewhere, from watching TV, from being
Speaker 1: a woman in the world. You just realize, like youth
Speaker 1: equals an eight year old looking at a four year
Speaker 1: And I remember my mom's four year old bitch. You think,
Speaker 1: you know, it was just about me realizing how good
Speaker 1: I had it, because I remember being like, Mom, are
Speaker 1: you jealous of me because I'm younger than you? Like
Speaker 1: you must be, because that's the way women feels like
Speaker 1: you're jealous of whoever's younger. So I remember she I
Speaker 1: remember her head slowly turning. We were like reading a book.
Speaker 1: I remember it was like Barnyard Animals or you know.
Speaker 1: I remember being very close to her, and I remember
Speaker 1: her head turning in and goes, what did you just say?
Speaker 1: And I was like, but you're jealous of use. I'm young.
Speaker 1: I'm never going to have a because what if I
Speaker 1: have a daughter, If I have a boy who cares.
Speaker 1: But if a daughter, she'll definitely be younger than me,
Speaker 1: and what she's prettier than me, I won't be able
Speaker 1: to handle it. And I still I don't feel that
Speaker 1: way about a daughter. But um and even Poppy, my niece.
Speaker 1: I thought there was a part of me that was like,
Speaker 1: if my sister is a niece, I know she's going
Speaker 1: to be prettier than me, and I hope she is.
Speaker 1: Like that's That's truly how I feel. But I've always
Speaker 1: felt this way, and it's hard to This is when
Speaker 1: you started killing young girls. It's like the nucleus of
Speaker 1: who I am hating younger women? I feel just envious
Speaker 1: of them, not hating. I mean, how does that go away?
Speaker 1: I think as a mother, you live. Vicar said, she
Speaker 1: was like, that doesn't happen with mothers, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: then I then I saw. You know, you see movies
Speaker 1: like um mean girls, and you see like the Amy
Speaker 1: Poehler character, you see like Housewives, and all these women
Speaker 1: are trying to be as young as their daughters and
Speaker 1: like dating the men that their daughters, and You're like,
Speaker 1: it is a thing. It is a thing. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, I think you just just if you're
Speaker 1: going to have a daughter, you just have an abortion.
Speaker 1: Even it's maybe do you believe that your mom feels
Speaker 1: that way? Do you still believe that? No, I didn't
Speaker 1: think that she did even at the time, But I
Speaker 1: think I just kind of did the math of like women,
Speaker 1: older women are jealous of younger women. Therefore, why how
Speaker 1: are moms not jealous of their daughters? Because they're like
Speaker 1: younger versions of them, and there they are examples of
Speaker 1: all the things that they could there, Like, it is
Speaker 1: sad to think that you will never you're dying. We're dying,
Speaker 1: Like we have less life ahead of us than younger people.
Speaker 1: That's like a sad thing to accept that you have
Speaker 1: less than someone else, Like you know the way you
Speaker 1: feel about money when people have more money than you.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, we have less years than so
Speaker 1: many people. I had thought go through my head yesterday
Speaker 1: about like there'll be a cure for a disease that
Speaker 1: I will die from three days, three years after I died,
Speaker 1: something like that. There's always talks about the Native Americans,
Speaker 1: like there was one Native American who died the day
Speaker 1: before white men settled, Like he was like this is
Speaker 1: the greatest left, Like you know, it's like my life
Speaker 1: was amazing, and that's actually a great story of like
Speaker 1: he didn't have to face that, but like he would
Speaker 1: have never known. But there's always the right before. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess you live enough life where you go I'm good. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm reading this book about the AIDS epidemic. Note but
Speaker 1: like when AIDS was like there was no really planned,
Speaker 1: no one was talking about in the eighties. It's called
Speaker 1: The Great Believers. It's really good book. But they all
Speaker 1: are not wanting to get tested because there's no cure,
Speaker 1: so what's the point. And they also feel like the
Speaker 1: government's going to track them once they're tested. Um, no
Speaker 1: one's talking about it. There's like thousands and thousands of
Speaker 1: men dying every day, but because it's like this gay thing,
Speaker 1: no one really wants to talk about it. Reagan won't
Speaker 1: address it. The Challenger explosion just happened in the book,
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, he's gonna make a speech about
Speaker 1: you know, fourteen people dying, but he won't talk about
Speaker 1: thirty thousand people in a year. And reminds me a
Speaker 1: little of COVID because the people that died of covid
Speaker 1: are were overweight, they were old, and it's like no
Speaker 1: one cares because it's and so with gay people thinking whatever,
Speaker 1: it's just the gay people, and then it starts leaning
Speaker 1: into oh, well, these people are starting to get sick
Speaker 1: that you Tom hankson Rita Wilson, we should shut down.
Speaker 1: It was such a good movie, we shut it down. Well,
Speaker 1: there's also the thing of the gay thing of um
Speaker 1: even like you're watching Dahmer and you realize it's such
Speaker 1: a story about civil rights and about gay rights because
Speaker 1: Dat got to keep doing what he's doing because he
Speaker 1: was he got gay people had to operate in the shadows,
Speaker 1: and so cops were just like he would literally the
Speaker 1: cops will come over and they'd be like, what can
Speaker 1: we see in your bedroom? And he'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's just a bunch of gay ship in there, and
Speaker 1: they'd be like, okay, well we don't want to go
Speaker 1: in there. Like he could just say he could excuse
Speaker 1: anything weird in his apartment as gay and they're like,
Speaker 1: there's bones in your bedside table. He's like, well, it's
Speaker 1: just some gay stuff and they'd be like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: go by your business, have a good night. Sir, and
Speaker 1: then they here's this little boy who's bleeding out of
Speaker 1: his head that we're not going to ask about. He's fourteen.
Speaker 1: I mean, the Dahmer thing is fucking insane. You guys
Speaker 1: have to I can't believe you guys haven't seen it.
Speaker 1: I saw the first episode. In the last episode, what
Speaker 1: I Branda watched it, I'm gonna watch Did she say
Speaker 1: it was good? She loves it. She started watching the
Speaker 1: tapes after. Yeah, that's what Netflix was like, we gotta
Speaker 1: get these tapes together because this show is so watchable.
Speaker 1: Let's get to the news first. First, your first, folks,
Speaker 1: It's Wednesday. You know what that means. It's Wednesday. We're
Speaker 1: having all the swells over here. Nikki is not depressed.
Speaker 1: She's swelled per one week. Get ready, here we come,
Speaker 1: explosion and then in other week a blood. It's great,
Speaker 1: what a life. It'll end soon. That's a menopause joke,
Speaker 1: not a don't say nuclear George, do not I al right,
Speaker 1: okay um. A woman was excited. I was excited about
Speaker 1: her birthday trip to Costa Rica with her boyfriend when
Speaker 1: she received a message on Facebook from someone who told
Speaker 1: her that her boyfriend was in fact, also in a
Speaker 1: long distance in a long term relationship with her friend.
Speaker 1: Her friends. Oh, I feel like they weren't friends. Oh
Speaker 1: the girl's friends. The mess yes a message from a girl,
Speaker 1: and the girl that message her was like, hey, my
Speaker 1: friend is dating your boyfriend at it. Yes. Soon the
Speaker 1: two girlfriends started texting each other and um, since the
Speaker 1: trip was already paid for, they ended up going together.
Speaker 1: They became close friends. Both of them said, I was
Speaker 1: thinking it would probably help us both to go on
Speaker 1: a trip like this. We deserve this after what we've
Speaker 1: gone through. Yeah, didn't he like do shifty stuff where
Speaker 1: he would like change out their toothbrush and like change
Speaker 1: all of their things each time they came over. They
Speaker 1: were like so in disbelief about it that they like
Speaker 1: shared photos to make sure it was exactly him. They
Speaker 1: talked about like the gray robe he would wear and
Speaker 1: stuff like that, because it was like over a year,
Speaker 1: for over a year for each So wait, he gave
Speaker 1: up his seat to one of the girls say birthday eight,
Speaker 1: things like I'm tired of this whole thing of like,
Speaker 1: but it's my birthday. You can't like that? Details added
Speaker 1: to a story, And it always if it's a woman's
Speaker 1: but it's and it had to top it off, it
Speaker 1: was on my birth today is I'm sorry, women, we
Speaker 1: gotta stop with this birthday think you are entitled to
Speaker 1: your pain no matter what time of year it is.
Speaker 1: It being your birthday means nothing to me. It doesn't
Speaker 1: make me feel more sorry for you. I understand the
Speaker 1: birthday is a very important time to people that don't
Speaker 1: have other things going on in their lives. But on
Speaker 1: the Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise, there's so many there's been
Speaker 1: three incidents now of like, but you he's gonna bring
Speaker 1: up with me on my birthday. I can't leave the
Speaker 1: show on my birthday. It's just like my birthday month. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's well, it's so stupid. It makes me think, like
Speaker 1: the girl was like, you know what, I'm mad, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to go to Costa Rica still because I'm
Speaker 1: and I'll take care of it five days later. And
Speaker 1: then you keep putting off. You're like, well the next
Speaker 1: month we have you know, we're going on the ski trip,
Speaker 1: so I can't say anything. Then like you keep put anything.
Speaker 1: It reminds me of like when my parents pretended to
Speaker 1: be together during my bar mitzvah instead of to like
Speaker 1: just show face. Yeah, it's like when people try to
Speaker 1: quit drinking. I don't get the analogy to this thing
Speaker 1: because so just like the idea of like not not
Speaker 1: ending it because like my birthday, let's deal with it
Speaker 1: a week from now, because it's my birthday. And I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people people push things because
Speaker 1: it's their birthday and that certain things that well, it's
Speaker 1: like when people it's it's just a way to avoid
Speaker 1: being accountable for the things going on in your life.
Speaker 1: Like these girls, Like like I said, like it makes
Speaker 1: the story a bit better to be like and it
Speaker 1: was my birthday trip when really it could just be
Speaker 1: a trip that you were going to take. It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter to me because I just don't care about birthdays.
Speaker 1: I love birthdays. I love celebrating people, but girls that
Speaker 1: identify with their birthdays in this way unless it's a
Speaker 1: forty birthday or like a like one of the big ones.
Speaker 1: The forty is pretty much the only big one, um,
Speaker 1: because it marks the time where men stop caring about
Speaker 1: you existing. But um, I just feel like you do
Speaker 1: that with another girl that would That's another thing with
Speaker 1: the story. Sorry, I don't think these girls have friends,
Speaker 1: because if I I would never I don't want to
Speaker 1: be the uber driver or you have a global order.
Speaker 1: I would want to go on this trip with someone
Speaker 1: who I actually was friends with. This However, if I
Speaker 1: was thinking to make the news, I would have this
Speaker 1: girl make the guy jealous, like make the guy feel
Speaker 1: like shit, it's like looking at us, we're going to
Speaker 1: still live it up. Bit this just told me this
Speaker 1: girl didn't have And maybe maybe I'm totally wrong, maybe
Speaker 1: I'm wrong about this, but no, what would you ever
Speaker 1: invite the girl? No? But okay. The surprising thing to
Speaker 1: me was that the Washington Post, like I just kept
Speaker 1: reading through with this article, would not end. The reporter
Speaker 1: even tried to get the boyfriend to comment on it,
Speaker 1: but they couldn't. I just couldn't believe that they like
Speaker 1: and they're like, you have you guys heard about Yemen?
Speaker 1: What's going on over there? Exactly? Someone there's so many
Speaker 1: people that have birthdays over there and they're starving to
Speaker 1: death on their birthday birthday, would love to go to
Speaker 1: Closta Rica they got bombed on their birthday. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just I don't you know. I'm actually sad for the
Speaker 1: guy in this because what a like the girls obviously
Speaker 1: that is so heartbreaking to be like lied to, and
Speaker 1: it's gonna funk with their sense of trust. What a
Speaker 1: sad person to have two separate relationships going on like
Speaker 1: that is untreatable. These girls can learn how to trust again.
Speaker 1: That kind of sociopathy is untreatable. He is as doomed
Speaker 1: as dahm Er. He will never ever have a normal
Speaker 1: relationship ever. Can you say that about Adam Levine? Um,
Speaker 1: Adam Levine, I cannot believe we've already just moved on
Speaker 1: from that and then come out that he did he
Speaker 1: actually did. Did he ever get caught physically cheating? Of
Speaker 1: course he cheated, but of course he of course, of
Speaker 1: course he did. Look at him look like you know,
Speaker 1: it's so funny when when you've when you're like because
Speaker 1: before that story, people can look at your tattoos and
Speaker 1: be like those you're cool. It's kind of reminds me
Speaker 1: of yesterday when we were talking about you could finger
Speaker 1: someone and then it could become in it like an examination.
Speaker 1: His tattoos go from like cool to creepy in just
Speaker 1: one story, you know what I mean? Like his tattoos
Speaker 1: no one was like talking so much shit about how
Speaker 1: ridiculous he looked until that story came out, and then
Speaker 1: it goes, oh, it adds up. Now, Yeah, that is
Speaker 1: I knew it would happen that that came out, that
Speaker 1: it would just get that we would go back to
Speaker 1: liking him again. It's already he's already performing again. I
Speaker 1: don't want him to be canceled. Who cares, But let's
Speaker 1: just make fun of him a bit longer. Please those texts,
Speaker 1: I mean that was the problem is those memes went
Speaker 1: nuts of like, oh my god, joke and everyone, but
Speaker 1: they were so funny, but then it just became oversaturated
Speaker 1: with every re one doing those memes that we got
Speaker 1: tired of it. And then we flushed that story down
Speaker 1: the train and it's onto the next thing, and it's like,
Speaker 1: let's spend a little bit more time on the fact
Speaker 1: that he almost he was going to name his baby
Speaker 1: after his mistress. What a what a piece of ship?
Speaker 1: I mean, that is that is sociopathic? Is so um?
Speaker 1: I just there are I think I think if the
Speaker 1: wife left him, the story would keep going. I think
Speaker 1: when someone goes well, I forgave him, So who are
Speaker 1: we to not forgiven. Can we skip ahead to the
Speaker 1: Giselle story, Noah? Can we go to Why do I Care? Yes?
Speaker 1: Why do I care? Oh? Giselle Brady? Yeah, I'm and
Speaker 1: I have an actual update on this that I don't
Speaker 1: think Noah had seen yet. But this is a good
Speaker 1: We'll get to it. I saw something came out today. Um,
Speaker 1: Giselle sack Tom Brady over sexless marriage. The Brazilian beauty
Speaker 1: needed more. Okay, first of all, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I was this article. What is this article from? What
Speaker 1: is that the Daily Mail? No, it's Radar Online. Okay, Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is this is nominated for this? This actually I
Speaker 1: took from a different news report because they didn't include this,
Speaker 1: but it made sense. The forty five year old quarterback
Speaker 1: does not deviate from his strict diet or lifestyle, which
Speaker 1: he considers the reason he's still able to play, and
Speaker 1: that includes not having sex up to seventy two hours
Speaker 1: before a game. And here's from Radar. An insider says
Speaker 1: that that Giselle is a Brazilian supermodel with a super
Speaker 1: sex drive and she's told her friends she needs more
Speaker 1: from her all American husband. I mean, I definitely think
Speaker 1: he doesn't have sex before. But I don't think she
Speaker 1: would care about that. I think this has to do
Speaker 1: with him being more obsessed with football than his family.
Speaker 1: Seventeen times three, that's how many times he doesn't That's
Speaker 1: how many days a year he doesn't fuck. But he
Speaker 1: goes into a playoffs twenty times. Sixty days a year.
Speaker 1: He's not a fucking I think women could deal with. Wait,
Speaker 1: seventeen games, he s well, he goes to the playoffs
Speaker 1: every year. So how many games is that four? Because
Speaker 1: it's three days before doubt if anybody's too tired on
Speaker 1: the game, So four times, so a hundred days a
Speaker 1: year he doesn't her With this map half that's a third.
Speaker 1: It's almost a third of the year. Based on the
Speaker 1: things that we know about a year having it's got
Speaker 1: to be so annoying that dates he's probably cuts up
Speaker 1: his blueberries and force. But they used to blame her
Speaker 1: for that. They used to blame her for him being
Speaker 1: like all crazy about his vegan diet and not eating
Speaker 1: tomatoes and not eating like anything fizzy or whatever. They
Speaker 1: used to blame her and be like, she's making him
Speaker 1: a little pussy. And now it's like it's the opposite
Speaker 1: story one of did you hear about? Well? This is interesting.
Speaker 1: So you know that guy J Shetty who has like
Speaker 1: those piercing blue eyes that everyone just is convincing themselves
Speaker 1: that he is probably smart and has a lot of
Speaker 1: I've heard he's not a good person, but you can
Speaker 1: hear that about anyone no phones. But every time you
Speaker 1: watch the video of his there's that music behind it.
Speaker 1: If you want to get back your life. The thing
Speaker 1: is I used to it. He's thirty five. Did you
Speaker 1: know that these these self help people? I've been watching
Speaker 1: so many videos recently of this. I some one to
Speaker 1: Andrew this morning of this guy of um, yeah, because
Speaker 1: you love Mike Posner. This story was had zero information
Speaker 1: in it that made me feel inspired. But the music
Speaker 1: behind it? Can I play it? Ye want us to
Speaker 1: do our own? I want to here an inspiring story.
Speaker 1: Can we play the music behind it? It could be? Um,
Speaker 1: let me find the one I sent you, Okay, I
Speaker 1: could tell you exactly what it was because I had
Speaker 1: the same conversation with my coach. It's just I really
Speaker 1: did with my basketball coach in high school. I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people had this conversation
Speaker 1: and you you are waiting. These are the things of
Speaker 1: these videos. They and I will say that this is
Speaker 1: stand ups out there putting out clips, have something funny
Speaker 1: in the clip just because you clip it out. I wait,
Speaker 1: and I watched, and I go, when's the punchline coming?
Speaker 1: When the No, there's so many videos out there that
Speaker 1: don't give you any kind of sustenance, but they give
Speaker 1: you the soundtrack in the background, or they just convince
Speaker 1: you that something's funny is going to happen. I'm so
Speaker 1: tired of it all. Just story with these things, that's what. Well,
Speaker 1: when you hear Mike Posner's things, it's just there's a
Speaker 1: difference in your story about what. I was on the
Speaker 1: basketball team in high school. Oh, this will be good.
Speaker 1: I didn't play on the basketball teams of the way
Speaker 1: through the season. I built up all this courage at
Speaker 1: a meeting with the coach in his office and I said, coach,
Speaker 1: why don't you ever play me? Wow? He looked at me.
Speaker 1: Something BIG's gonna happen here. Don't play you because you're
Speaker 1: not good enough. Okay, okay, well maybe more's coming. I
Speaker 1: tried really not to cry. We started crying. Something's about
Speaker 1: to happen. He said, he doesn't know a specialize him,
Speaker 1: and I'll show him. So he's gonna show him. He's
Speaker 1: gonna which was true. I wasn't good enough to play
Speaker 1: us why I didn't play right right, But he's gonna
Speaker 1: show him. I think that's how he doesn't understand me.
Speaker 1: He doesn't see how good I am, and I'll show him.
Speaker 1: And not only that, no one understands me. That's how
Speaker 1: it's living in my my life. There's a difference between similar
Speaker 1: to what happened your story about what happened. I was
Speaker 1: at basketball. Wait wait, wait, so it just started over
Speaker 1: a wait do we didn't get to a point. There
Speaker 1: was no point at the end. I was waiting, there's nothing.
Speaker 1: I was waiting for something to happen. He was either
Speaker 1: going to show the coach or the coach was going
Speaker 1: to say something very you know. It seems like what
Speaker 1: he thought happened inspirational. That's what he thought happened. I
Speaker 1: thought happened happened. So the point of his thing was
Speaker 1: that not the story you tell yourself is different than
Speaker 1: the one that happened. But the story he told himself
Speaker 1: was the one that happened. And nothing happened. I guess
Speaker 1: the only thing that didn't have it is like he
Speaker 1: might have told himself then I've not wasted a minute
Speaker 1: in fifteen seconds of my life watching that twice. I
Speaker 1: held onto every word that because I heard that music
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is gonna be big. And I
Speaker 1: know you like posing or you got bit by a
Speaker 1: snake while he was walking across the country or some ship,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this guy, I need some inspiration today.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling bloated, I'm feeling soggy. And that's what I
Speaker 1: got was a story about him being bad at basketball,
Speaker 1: being told he's bad at basketball and it being the truth.
Speaker 1: What does that mean? That also makes it sound like
Speaker 1: that he the music was already playing at the podcast,
Speaker 1: like we should do a podcast to full time. Well,
Speaker 1: that's how he talks. Everything is like this when people
Speaker 1: tell rational stories. I was a young boy. I didn't
Speaker 1: have much. It's all like a rhythm to it of
Speaker 1: making you feel sad and like I saw a thing.
Speaker 1: This guy he interviews like random like people and be like,
Speaker 1: how did you become successful? In This guy was the
Speaker 1: Nike CEO and their whole thing. He goes tell emotional stories,
Speaker 1: and you do learn that, like even if you're stand up,
Speaker 1: even if you're an actor like Rock the Rock for
Speaker 1: when you hear an emotional story, generally, if it's from
Speaker 1: someone who's striking le good looking, it's such bullshit. If
Speaker 1: it's from someone who is there are four year old,
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you, it's from someone who's too hot
Speaker 1: looking and also who has propped their camera up in
Speaker 1: a way that like, I don't believe any of it
Speaker 1: and I see it happening. Rock is so full of ship.
Speaker 1: Have you heard him talk about not wanting to be president.
Speaker 1: He's like, I just He's like he pretty much is like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I could be well, listen, it's something that
Speaker 1: I would love to do, and it's something that I
Speaker 1: know I would be great at. But you know what,
Speaker 1: my job, the most important job I have, is being
Speaker 1: a daddy. He used the word daddy. Yes, Chris's show
Speaker 1: made fun of it the other day, and Chris was like,
Speaker 1: and he had to say, daddy. That guy is so
Speaker 1: full of ship and full of himself and and by
Speaker 1: the way, most people would go, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be president. I don't know what I would do. I'm
Speaker 1: not qualified to be president. He's he assumes, yeah, i'dwin.
Speaker 1: I would be qualified, but I don't want to do
Speaker 1: it because I'm a daddy. Stops calling yourself a daddy.
Speaker 1: That's disgusting. I am. I am on a high alert
Speaker 1: if you call yourself daddy, because up, I want to
Speaker 1: do a test. We should both think of the most
Speaker 1: inspirational story that we could think of, put it on
Speaker 1: Instagram and watch that. You would get two thousand likes
Speaker 1: if you go. That's the thing. Is like, even with
Speaker 1: people's stand up clips I've been watching recently, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I know this trick. Oh, I could do this, and
Speaker 1: I'm so. I think that's what sending into the depression is.
Speaker 1: I saw stand up clips yesterday that I was just like,
Speaker 1: I could do this if I wanted to. I know
Speaker 1: every trick. I have this level of confidence, I have
Speaker 1: this level of writing style. These people are being sold
Speaker 1: like processed, fake goop. It's like you're all eating at
Speaker 1: Del Taco every day for your entertainment. I just watched Damer.
Speaker 1: That is an excellent show. I'm not kidding you. Respect
Speaker 1: I first started watching being like, oh is the number?
Speaker 1: It gave me hope? That people like that show because
Speaker 1: but the thing is it could be crap and they'd
Speaker 1: still watch it because people like crap. It's like, but
Speaker 1: this is what people do to be really isn't successful?
Speaker 1: Just make make stuff that it's just low bar and
Speaker 1: and fake, fake, fake sincerity, fake um anger about things.
Speaker 1: Everything's fake. And that's the problem. As a stand up
Speaker 1: you want to be real about things. And that's where
Speaker 1: I struggle, as seen him sometimes, because I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: not really that passionate about anything right now, and I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna fake like I am, but I could. That's
Speaker 1: the problem, you know, when we do this thing that's
Speaker 1: like it's like, yeah, I could. I could totally write
Speaker 1: a whole act that just playcates to women's you know,
Speaker 1: like Bachelor at Night out like that, the two Dumb Girls.
Speaker 1: I think of it. I think I have trouble being
Speaker 1: sincere without feeling fake or like, without feeling like I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get something out of it, even though look,
Speaker 1: I like sincerity when it's pure, it's fucking beautiful, like
Speaker 1: when I can really performative. That's why I hate One
Speaker 1: Man shows. They are trying to access sincerity every night.
Speaker 1: That's like vulnerable thing that they went through. They have
Speaker 1: to like get to that point where they're like choked up.
Speaker 1: And I will not fake a choking up thing unless
Speaker 1: it is so serving a joke where everyone knows she's
Speaker 1: choking up to be funny later on. I will never
Speaker 1: take you to a place emotionally on stage that I
Speaker 1: am not currently in. It's just so gross to me. Well,
Speaker 1: I took a one man show the guy that this
Speaker 1: guy Seth Bears who was Barbigli as director, and this
Speaker 1: woman got up there and she literally took us to
Speaker 1: the moment through acting, which was amazing accent. But I'm
Speaker 1: not saying it was good because it took you to
Speaker 1: her place of abuse, to a point where the audience
Speaker 1: it took you to that so much that it wasn't good,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like you can go, I
Speaker 1: don't like it was so emotional. Respect that more than
Speaker 1: people and every time, and if you are a stand
Speaker 1: up that gets sincere in your act, you take a
Speaker 1: good cold look in the mirror about yourself. Like I
Speaker 1: could get sincere about something sometimes, but I don't waste
Speaker 1: more than ten seconds on it. And the only reason
Speaker 1: I waste ten seconds because I actually feel that way.
Speaker 1: I'm so sick of this performative sincerity. So I just
Speaker 1: want to say, Um, I'll reveal what the gizl tweet
Speaker 1: is when I get back to that by J Shetty,
Speaker 1: because it is good and we should get to it
Speaker 1: right after this. Okay, we're back and we are on
Speaker 1: a fucking roll today. Um, it's been a coast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the fire inside me is burning bright. Yes, countdowns, So
Speaker 1: now I know a week before my period is when
Speaker 1: I am at peak anger. But also like I do
Speaker 1: have an enthusiasm right now, I don't know. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: When I was writing down dark thoughts yesterday and I
Speaker 1: was like, my next special is just going to air
Speaker 1: out every dark thought I've ever had because I'm tired
Speaker 1: of holding it back. When I watched like, I saw
Speaker 1: Bill Burr do a joke about how women are always
Speaker 1: like uplifting, like you know, Lizzo, like we love you,
Speaker 1: and he just he said, of course you are, because
Speaker 1: you're not threatened by her, and it just like cut
Speaker 1: right through. You can't be mad at him, even though
Speaker 1: he does stuff sometimes that you're like, that's body shaming.
Speaker 1: I'm not a big fan of that. It seems like
Speaker 1: a little misogynoust stick. I'm not a fan of that.
Speaker 1: That to me, I was like, he's right, well it
Speaker 1: goes back to you when when he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: shave your head so then you're not threatened, Like I
Speaker 1: know you like my joke about yes it's but there
Speaker 1: was something about no context. But it just made me think, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know it's the same thing, but the tweeh, I
Speaker 1: just yeah. To close it up, I just want to
Speaker 1: say that I am worried though that my dark thoughts
Speaker 1: that I wrote yesterday that I'm like, oh, this is
Speaker 1: gonna be like the crux of my new special. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to be able to recreate those dark thoughts
Speaker 1: every night because I'm I'm in a dark zone right now,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I don't want to be insincere
Speaker 1: by bringing writing these jokes and having to recreate them
Speaker 1: every night on stage when I'm not feeling it. But
Speaker 1: maybe some people want that in a performer where they're like,
Speaker 1: it's a show, bitch, put it on getting to costume.
Speaker 1: But I'm someone I can't go to see Broadway shows
Speaker 1: because I don't want to see people have to perform
Speaker 1: when they might not want to. It's very hard when
Speaker 1: you're in a depression state too. You don't you don't
Speaker 1: want that to last. Yeah, you don't want to. And
Speaker 1: I write jokes and depressions that I cannot support in
Speaker 1: my normal rice or whatever. The singer he always talks
Speaker 1: a little bit of your tiste. Yeah, yeah, from closer
Speaker 1: or closer closer. Yeah, so he writes from a very
Speaker 1: sad place. And he said, right on the floor in
Speaker 1: the closet, yeah yeah, yeah, with big jeans on with
Speaker 1: the gun was not Yeah, okay. So J Shetty, the
Speaker 1: guy with piercing blue eyes, he wrote, uh, you know.
Speaker 1: On Instagram, he posted like a tweet that said, you
Speaker 1: can't be in a committed relationship with someone who is
Speaker 1: inconsistent with you. Read that again. I hate Read that again,
Speaker 1: by the way, and be consistent with read that again
Speaker 1: you it's so it's so crazy and pointing what I
Speaker 1: just said, you might need to read it again. You
Speaker 1: can't be in a committed relationship with someone who is
Speaker 1: inconsistent with you. Read that again. You can't be even
Speaker 1: a committed relationship with someone who's read it again. I am,
Speaker 1: and I'm stuck into bullshit. Loup um. And then underneath
Speaker 1: that Giselle and this was on comments by celebs. They
Speaker 1: caught this. Giselle commented a prayer hands emoji. So that
Speaker 1: is our biggest clue yet because she has been mum.
Speaker 1: I mean you can't really trust these like friends of
Speaker 1: hers that he was not consistent and retiring from football.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's what she's talking about there with you. It
Speaker 1: says in consistent with you. I think it's um and yeah,
Speaker 1: that it wasn't consistency of being like I think he
Speaker 1: got back into life and was just and and he's
Speaker 1: so obsessed with football. There's nothing there's no room probably
Speaker 1: for anything else because it requires that level of obsession.
Speaker 1: And as someone who has dated someone in TV production
Speaker 1: and I told him, like, I can't. It's TV productions
Speaker 1: like that, like people work twenty hour days and then
Speaker 1: they sleep for two hours and then they start again,
Speaker 1: and you're like, I can't be with someone who works
Speaker 1: in this level of like obsessive work that it's like
Speaker 1: these and then there's time off, but it's still like
Speaker 1: I I don't think I could do it if I
Speaker 1: were Giselle date someone who was that obsessed with their work.
Speaker 1: I think like Also she's in a job where like,
Speaker 1: look she makes she makes more money than him. I've
Speaker 1: learned like twice as money, like crazy amount of money.
Speaker 1: But like she was a model of her life. She
Speaker 1: gets celebrated by being young and gorgeous and whatever. Like
Speaker 1: that profession, that's what that is. And I feel like
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, well you had your football thing, now
Speaker 1: it's time to pay attention to me. Like I feel
Speaker 1: like like her profession is done in a sense of
Speaker 1: like what that is right? And like football, you only
Speaker 1: have a finite amount of years. I mean it's like modeling.
Speaker 1: Athletes and models are very similar. You tap out around
Speaker 1: like seven. So I'm sure she's I'm done. It's time
Speaker 1: for you to be done. Let's enjoy each other. We
Speaker 1: don't have to keep pushing for this. What's he going
Speaker 1: to do when he actually has to stop? Like what
Speaker 1: is he deal to do to know? But he doesn't
Speaker 1: want a broadcast? That guy wants to play football, And
Speaker 1: that's the problem. Like when models and there is or
Speaker 1: or an athletes, there's there's a end to this and
Speaker 1: that's shorter than any other career. And it sucks because
Speaker 1: those people are sometimes the most dedicated to the profession
Speaker 1: of anyone when you're done. If comedians had to quit
Speaker 1: around twenty or if I was like an old comedian
Speaker 1: right now, because if if I was modeling, i'd be
Speaker 1: an old model what kind? It would be devastating, Like
Speaker 1: I would you have to go. I don't care how
Speaker 1: much they're paying me to do anything else. It would
Speaker 1: be like hard to you know, I could do other things.
Speaker 1: Have it taken from you? Is told the world that
Speaker 1: you're the most gorgeous person, which she is. She's gorgeous,
Speaker 1: But the guy you're sleeping next he is looking at
Speaker 1: a playbook instead of looking at your tips. And it's
Speaker 1: like that happens to every woman, no matter how gorgeous
Speaker 1: she is. You will eventually that has keeps me, that
Speaker 1: helps me sleep at it too. No matter how gorgeous
Speaker 1: you are, you will have your man will to get
Speaker 1: tired of sucking you at some point because it's like,
Speaker 1: at least Tom Brady has a pretty good excuse. He's
Speaker 1: like a quarterback. For here's a guy not looking at
Speaker 1: your tips. He's like making four dollars. Yes, people talked
Speaker 1: about the Adam Levine thing, like, but he's with Bahati
Speaker 1: how could he ever go after the Instagram models that
Speaker 1: aren't as cute as her? And it was just like,
Speaker 1: you think that's what this is about? Are you that's
Speaker 1: stupid that you think models can't get cheated on? What
Speaker 1: I mean? Maybe I thought that when I was fourteen
Speaker 1: years old, But how do adults think that if you
Speaker 1: are a certain level of hotness that you won't get hurt?
Speaker 1: And by the way, there's a secret part of me
Speaker 1: that thinks that too, because I am so jealous of
Speaker 1: hot girls that I think their lives are perfect. So
Speaker 1: I mean I kind of am a snake eating its
Speaker 1: own tail right now. Like it is funny to think that,
Speaker 1: like just to think of a guy like I won't
Speaker 1: be like how did they do it? And then they
Speaker 1: look over and their husbands playing fantasy football instead of
Speaker 1: sucking them like or just looking at photos of Tom
Speaker 1: Brady instead of like every yeah, dude, I mean it's
Speaker 1: you know, you gotta keep spicing it up. And and
Speaker 1: you know, I think Tom Brady probably he's not tired
Speaker 1: of probably sleeping with her. He's probably just tired of
Speaker 1: sleeping with anyone except for a football final thought. Last
Speaker 1: night we were watching watching Bachelor in Paradise and there
Speaker 1: is excite eating stuff that's about to happen. So usually
Speaker 1: on the show Bachelor in Paradise, it's like a bunch
Speaker 1: of singles that you know from the Bachelor franchise go
Speaker 1: to this island and they all every week, you know,
Speaker 1: the guys will have the roses and then um, you know,
Speaker 1: and there's an uneven number of guys and girls, so
Speaker 1: like some girls will go home because they don't get
Speaker 1: a rose. Then the next week the power dynamical shift.
Speaker 1: The girls have the roses and they bring on new
Speaker 1: people to spice things up. Well this season, based on
Speaker 1: like the UM preview last night, everyone's already coupled up
Speaker 1: kind of and like everything's kind of like where it
Speaker 1: is and safe and like steady, and next week they're
Speaker 1: they the host goes girls pack your things up and
Speaker 1: the girls have to go stay at a hotel. When
Speaker 1: they bring in a new batch of girls that are
Speaker 1: and Chris and I've been watching and being like the
Speaker 1: caliber of hotness of these girls is not what we
Speaker 1: generally expect from the Bachelor, And you know, and if
Speaker 1: I walked on the island, they would be like, who
Speaker 1: is this sand Goblin, like, these girls are way hotter
Speaker 1: than me, So I'm judging. I'm saying these girls aren't
Speaker 1: hot enough, but they are hotter than me, no judgment,
Speaker 1: but you expect a level from Bachelor and you're just
Speaker 1: like And I also think, as an older person watching
Speaker 1: this show, beauty standards are changing so much that what
Speaker 1: I think is attractive for a man is no longer
Speaker 1: what is attractive to younger girls for a man. Does
Speaker 1: that make sense? Yeah, or we're attracted to a younger guy, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and women with filler and different things like that. I
Speaker 1: think the women are beautiful, but Chris is kind of like,
Speaker 1: I'm a little disappointed in them, and I'm disappointed to
Speaker 1: the men. But I think beauty standards are changing and
Speaker 1: this is just a young and it's yeah, so anyway,
Speaker 1: but the girls that are coming in next are fucking
Speaker 1: smoking hot. Like they've they up there, They've saved a batch,
Speaker 1: so they're coming in the organ. It's amazing. I'm so
Speaker 1: jealous of this. They I think they took a page
Speaker 1: out of f Boy Island and we're like, we need
Speaker 1: to up the auntie and make this a little bit
Speaker 1: more vicious, because if if you know Bachelor in Paradise,
Speaker 1: I've ever watched that. This has never happened before. I mean,
Speaker 1: one or two people will come in and be a
Speaker 1: hot girl, but they've never sent the girls away and
Speaker 1: been like, sorry, you just have to. And this girl's like,
Speaker 1: so I did have to sit on my birthday two
Speaker 1: weeks ago? What's going? God? She's like, I mean if
Speaker 1: my mom like, was it labor a little a long time.
Speaker 1: It was interesting when we would do it on f
Speaker 1: Boy because sometimes well if they were even or a
Speaker 1: little bit lower, there was no way they were There
Speaker 1: was no jealousy. But if Casey walks in, everyone loses
Speaker 1: their goddamn shit. Yeah, I mean that was all about attractiveness,
Speaker 1: and that's these girls like yeah, and it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: if they're hot or not. Like new guys like new,
Speaker 1: and women are not that into new. I don't know
Speaker 1: if Tom Brady, like a month after divorcing Giselle, will
Speaker 1: be like I gotta fill in another woman. I would
Speaker 1: be interesting. It would be interesting to see who see
Speaker 1: him with people, But I think it'll be like Tiger Woods,
Speaker 1: you know, like we'll see him day eight. But it
Speaker 1: is weird to me that those two I always thought
Speaker 1: were just such an exemplary couple, but you yeah, but
Speaker 1: I just go because he met this woman that is
Speaker 1: so perfect for him and they are meant to be
Speaker 1: and they have this like blended family, and everything just
Speaker 1: seems so perfect. She's so supportive of him and he
Speaker 1: seems supportive. It just I know that everything is not perfect,
Speaker 1: but it looked perfect. And it's kind of interesting to
Speaker 1: me that they both get to go fund new people
Speaker 1: now and like fall in love again with a whole
Speaker 1: different person. We're gonna watch Giselle get married. It's going
Speaker 1: to be on People magazine. There's a guy out there
Speaker 1: that Gisele is going to be married to the rest
Speaker 1: of her Probably that would be awesome. Or what if
Speaker 1: Tom Brady dated Oh my god, I like the new
Speaker 1: Pete David Sintago Bell commercials. He's adorable. I love him too,
Speaker 1: Yeah he was, Yeah, it would be It's gonna be
Speaker 1: interesting to see who they date, if she date someone younger,
Speaker 1: he date someone younger, and how they get how it gets.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine getting married and being married for they've
Speaker 1: been married what twelve fifteen years, and thinking this is
Speaker 1: it forever? And then now being like I get to go.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know it's like tragic, but I just
Speaker 1: there's I don't know why I romanticize it so much,
Speaker 1: but I love older couples breaking up and being like
Speaker 1: this is fun for now, but now I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: fall in love with someone else, like I love on
Speaker 1: Dahmer His I think it's so cute how Dahmer's dad
Speaker 1: and the step mom, Molly Ringwald had this like youthful
Speaker 1: relationship of like love and compassion and they're like old
Speaker 1: as fuck. There's something so sweet about that because you
Speaker 1: never see that because by that age, it's just like
Speaker 1: they're not cute anymore. Sometimes you see all my grandma
Speaker 1: and grandpa still on TikTok, and it'll be like, look
Speaker 1: at my grandma and grandpa. They still love each other
Speaker 1: after all these years, and it's like them sitting on
Speaker 1: each other's lap, and you're like, oh, that's so sweet,
Speaker 1: and it's one in a million that that is still
Speaker 1: as cute as it was the day they got married.
Speaker 1: But isn't them. It's a step mom, right, So it's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I like that. I like the idea
Speaker 1: that like old people, I don't think of relationships of failure.
Speaker 1: If you go, we did fifteen years that for this
Speaker 1: time in our life, it was good. But now I'm
Speaker 1: going to go meet someone new and have a new, whole,
Speaker 1: new life that I thought I would never have. I
Speaker 1: think there's something very exciting about that. I wonder if,
Speaker 1: like they're at the age two five, how old Jael
Speaker 1: similar age? Probably so. I mean they're young enough where
Speaker 1: they got a lot of fun. They are going to
Speaker 1: have great I can't wait to watch what happens with
Speaker 1: their relationships. He's gonna be dating Katie Holmes. She's gonna
Speaker 1: be dating the weekend. I mean, I guarantee you she
Speaker 1: will be dating the weekend. He dates everyone. If he
Speaker 1: becomes single, he might play until fifty five. He might
Speaker 1: just keep That might be the only thing that was
Speaker 1: keeping him from not playing, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I mean, he's having an okay year. It's so embarrassing
Speaker 1: to oh, really, so, how's it going to mean this year?
Speaker 1: It's not the things aren't lining up well. Like like
Speaker 1: if he was playing grade, he'd be like, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: it's good, leave Gisel. But he's playing just good enough
Speaker 1: where it's like maybe of quit, you know, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: I would you rather retire on top like Seinfeld style,
Speaker 1: or go out and play as long as you could
Speaker 1: and just always be remembered as a greade but kind
Speaker 1: of like fade out because I just watched Poole's last
Speaker 1: Game the other night, and I was just so intriguing
Speaker 1: to me that everyone was like, HiT's his last game,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, every single one of these players is
Speaker 1: going to have a last game, Like there's something so
Speaker 1: sad about that. It just reminds you of death. Kind
Speaker 1: of like there's gonna be a last for everything you do.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be a last podcast that we do. There's
Speaker 1: gonna be a last time that I go Hi Noah,
Speaker 1: There's gonna be a last time that I'm like by
Speaker 1: Andrew Sya tomorrow. There'll be a last time for everything
Speaker 1: in your life. It's a little sam herrisey that I'm
Speaker 1: getting into this, but that I think that I had
Speaker 1: a friend when I was depressed. Send me a uh
Speaker 1: ellenor Baker. She does. She's a producer on This American Life,
Speaker 1: and she sent me this piece that she had been
Speaker 1: working on that never aired about depression, and man, I
Speaker 1: wish it would have aired so badly, I'm like dying
Speaker 1: for her to put it out in some other way
Speaker 1: because it was so helpful. I was kind of like,
Speaker 1: I don't need this, right and I'm depressed. I don't
Speaker 1: want something that's going to help me. That's like the
Speaker 1: last thing I need. And it was during my quiet time,
Speaker 1: the last last thing that's going to help me when
Speaker 1: I'm depressed. Well, if he's depression, no, I get it.
Speaker 1: I get that you don't want the block does not
Speaker 1: seem like it's going to do anything. Making your bed
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like taking a shower, adult seems like just
Speaker 1: shut up and let me just die in here. But
Speaker 1: it was about how we are constantly suffering grief in
Speaker 1: our lives, whether it's the end of a relationship, whether
Speaker 1: it's a job that you thought you were going to
Speaker 1: get and even imagined having that job and you didn't
Speaker 1: get that job, a job that ended that you did have,
Speaker 1: Like we're constantly having these many deaths and we don't
Speaker 1: don't have any kind of mourning period, and in fact,
Speaker 1: we don't really even have a morning period for actual deaths,
Speaker 1: Like we have a funeral and we have awake and
Speaker 1: then it's done. And a lot of times it's like
Speaker 1: back to work, back to normal, and you know, they
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist and her piece says that the in Judaism,
Speaker 1: it's like the only culture that actually, you know, the
Speaker 1: only modern culture that we actually talk about. And you know,
Speaker 1: there's there's probably other tribes that do longer mourning processes,
Speaker 1: process cross seas processes. I don't know, but that you
Speaker 1: guys do Shiva and and I didn't know this. There
Speaker 1: is like a song that is played maybe on Friday
Speaker 1: in church whatever it is that is so um joyous
Speaker 1: that people that are in mourning are kept outside of
Speaker 1: the temple so that because it seems it's too happy
Speaker 1: for them because they're still in mourning. So for a
Speaker 1: month after their loved one past says, they wait outside
Speaker 1: stumble and then people come out to go get them
Speaker 1: because they're being respectable, like we don't expect you to
Speaker 1: get on board, and we like and I love that.
Speaker 1: I love that, like you're able to time to and
Speaker 1: no one's forcing you, like come on sing happy birthday.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, I don't want to because that's actually
Speaker 1: not honoring my sadness. Like like and I think that, yeah,
Speaker 1: I listened to Sam Harrits where he was talking about
Speaker 1: like how long should you mourn? Like you could mourn
Speaker 1: too long, right, like you could allow it to completely
Speaker 1: take over you. Is that the one you were a
Speaker 1: month ago? But it was just about how we don't
Speaker 1: acknowledge like when we're all sometimes, you know, even me,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm away a week away from my periods,
Speaker 1: like or maybe I'm mourning the loss of a life
Speaker 1: that I just had where I had some time off
Speaker 1: and now I'm getting back to work and I'm literally
Speaker 1: as dumb as that sounds, suffering a little mini death
Speaker 1: of like this life that was pretty fucking good and
Speaker 1: allowed me to breathe for once in my life, and
Speaker 1: I'm mourning that. Maybe I'm mourning the like I'm moving
Speaker 1: to l A for a little bit. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm mourning leaving St. Louis. I'm you know, my dog
Speaker 1: doesn't really like being around me anymore. I tried to
Speaker 1: take him home the other day and he like looked
Speaker 1: at my parents house like I want to go back,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, go back then, and I
Speaker 1: just opened the car door and he went sprinting back,
Speaker 1: like the all these little things that I think, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe that's it. So it's just I think it's interesting
Speaker 1: to pay attention to things in your life. Is like,
Speaker 1: I think it's hard when you go when someone goes, well,
Speaker 1: you know, with every with every end, there's a new beginning.
Speaker 1: But that new beginning it's not going to compete with
Speaker 1: being an NFL quarterback. I don't care what you say,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like, I think maybe it
Speaker 1: maybe it will. And people say, you but die peacefully
Speaker 1: in your sleep like people that have a witnessed death.
Speaker 1: It's like you're like gagging on blood and you don't
Speaker 1: like it's not fun. Well do you think if you
Speaker 1: ask Seinfeld, you go this comedian cars getting coffee's full
Speaker 1: as Seinfeld, does it fill you as much? Maybe? I
Speaker 1: bet it does, but he does curb. Yeah, no, that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like he was able to fill it
Speaker 1: with that. I mean, you know, who knows? You know
Speaker 1: all they all exist in another podcast because we gotta
Speaker 1: go on this one. Thank you guys so much for listening.
Speaker 1: But it's my birthday and six months isn't really sick? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's probably six months exactly. No one's counting except you're
Speaker 1: forty two and a half today, is that right? Just
Speaker 1: a number that's big. I'm going to particular thank you
Speaker 1: for listening. Don't be ed Jack, Jason um Jackson, Andrew Brown,