Speaker 1: Hey, do you need to ride? Listeners, this is Chris
Speaker 1: Fairbanks with an upcoming show announcement. I will be in Boise, Idaho,
Speaker 1: March first at the Shrine Social Club. I've been to
Speaker 1: the Shrine before for music shows. It's one of my
Speaker 1: favorite venues. I'm very excited. Do go, do come get
Speaker 1: tickets at Chris Fairbanks dot com. Thank you and you're welcome.
Speaker 2: Are you leaving?
Speaker 1: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way you want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and they
Speaker 2: turn and all engage. We want to send you off
Speaker 2: in style. We want to welcome you back home. Tell
Speaker 2: us all about every scared or was it fine? Melbourn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
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Speaker 1: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 2: This is karcal Gar. Sorry I cleared my throat while
Speaker 2: you were It's okay introducing yourself.
Speaker 1: I'll just I'll make up for it by giving a
Speaker 1: sample and then we'll just put that where your throat cleared,
Speaker 1: it will just simply sound like you was cursed, but
Speaker 1: you cursed. Well, no, my bead. They won't know it's
Speaker 1: my voice. It'll over your guttural voice. Chang, yeah, flemmy. Oh,
Speaker 1: welcome to this slimmy episode. Yes, we've just recorded. I
Speaker 1: let people behind the curtain, just recorded last week's episode.
Speaker 1: So if you like the mood we were in last week,
Speaker 1: good news. It's ten seconds later, same days ago.
Speaker 5: Oh oh right, oh sure, Well if you liked our
Speaker 5: mood two weeks ago, remember before the brief nostalgic episode
Speaker 5: in er lude, You're gonna love this one.
Speaker 2: Hello.
Speaker 6: Hello, clubs and colleges across the country. Put your ears
Speaker 6: together for Salmon Georgia. Yay, Hi, good to see you.
Speaker 3: Hi, nice to see you. I know so long is
Speaker 3: your birthday?
Speaker 4: It is happy birthday. You still young looking.
Speaker 1: I'm a very grown man. I know half of a
Speaker 1: damn dakat. I worked with Hugh Moore on a who
Speaker 1: was on a show Eyes on the Other Night, and
Speaker 1: he did he act in the show that you were.
Speaker 4: He was on the first season of Survival askest.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, yeah, Michelle.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he was. He played the creepy, the first creepy dude. Okay.
Speaker 1: I for some reason I thought, because he does a
Speaker 1: lot of writing too, that maybe you guys were in
Speaker 1: the room together.
Speaker 4: Oh I wish, I wish well, I wish delight. Yeah,
Speaker 4: that guy have When I figured out his name was
Speaker 4: a joke and a pun, yeah was I was, it was.
Speaker 4: It was way way longer than I expected it to
Speaker 4: It was like five years ago.
Speaker 1: I for me, it was right now what And I'm
Speaker 1: embarrassed that I don't get it?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Oh, for god, it's very like next thing. You know,
Speaker 1: his parents didn't say, let's name him Bob's any when
Speaker 1: that name? That's probably that's so funny, Hugh More.
Speaker 2: Somehow are you? I haven't seen you. What's going down
Speaker 2: that much.
Speaker 4: I've just been twiddling around lately doing nothing.
Speaker 1: Which feels great. I've been doing a lot of that myself.
Speaker 4: Yeah. No, I'm I'm sort of like, okay, breaking up
Speaker 4: of the stagnant winter and moving into the more stagnant winter.
Speaker 4: I guess.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I like how it comes in phases that are slightly
Speaker 1: different than the previous phase.
Speaker 4: Yeah, essentially, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Is there anything good within walking distance?
Speaker 4: In your name distance with the driving. This is because
Speaker 4: there's the Have you ever been to Kettle Glaze the
Speaker 4: doughnut shop? No on Franklin, No, it's amazing.
Speaker 3: Should we go there?
Speaker 4: We should go there. Just go up to Franklin and
Speaker 4: take a rite perfect.
Speaker 1: What's it called now, kettle Glaze? Kettle Glaze? I like it.
Speaker 4: They're also right next to my favorite smash burger spot
Speaker 4: for the wind.
Speaker 3: Oh, I've never been there.
Speaker 4: And they have a Detroit pizza place there as well.
Speaker 3: What's happening? Oh is that that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like a little tiny area right.
Speaker 3: Right, kind of by the one on one cafe Clark Street.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were just lamenting the end of all cafes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the diners, well.
Speaker 4: At least the late night ones right, like you can
Speaker 4: go to that's kind of that was a cornerstort of
Speaker 4: being a stand up comic, right, especially when we were
Speaker 4: starting and doing the open mics. We'd all just go
Speaker 4: to a diner afterwards. And that's I think in New
Speaker 4: York they got rid of is it Kellogg's.
Speaker 3: The Cereal?
Speaker 4: No, there was a diner. There's a diner I think
Speaker 4: that was called Kelloggs. That's like, right, by the God
Speaker 4: where they did a Oh my god, how verses show
Speaker 4: that for a long time, that nitting factory.
Speaker 1: Oh sure, Sure.
Speaker 4: There was a diner that was right by there. I
Speaker 4: think it's gone.
Speaker 2: Now, and it was like an old famous one twenty
Speaker 2: four hours.
Speaker 3: The food was terrible, but the hang was amazing.
Speaker 4: I've never looked I've never been like a diner spot that.
Speaker 4: I'm like, the food is just.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were just talking about do you remember the
Speaker 2: bright spot used to be on Sunday? Yes, that place
Speaker 2: had for a little while, there was an ownership phase,
Speaker 2: and we were just talking about.
Speaker 3: How good like it was good food. Yeah, and that pie.
Speaker 4: They also make their own pop tarts too, Yeah, I
Speaker 4: think they did.
Speaker 1: And it was used to be a place where a
Speaker 1: lot of priests and nuns ate.
Speaker 4: You know what.
Speaker 1: Oh, I guess because of the giant there's like a
Speaker 1: giant convent. Yeah, there's a huge church a block away.
Speaker 1: I'm just now putting it together.
Speaker 4: But I have no idea there can be so many
Speaker 4: things right by Yeah, yeah, there's a church right by there.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know where churches are.
Speaker 3: I know, are you averting your eyes at all time?
Speaker 4: I just truly don't. I don't quock them.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, this one, you wouldn't notice. It's
Speaker 1: it's like a giant. I think it's a Mormon place.
Speaker 4: Also, I feel like most of the churches don't look
Speaker 4: like classic churches. Yeah, they're all like architectural like wonders that.
Speaker 4: I'm like, Oh, that's a nice building. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Have you heard that all churches the friend of them
Speaker 1: are facing I don't want to know it's west or east.
Speaker 4: I would never know.
Speaker 1: Yeah that that was on a show and I had
Speaker 1: to google it and it was correct.
Speaker 2: I guess it was facing It would be facing east,
Speaker 2: like you're facing the sunrise. My guess was like Jerusalem
Speaker 2: or yeah from Yeah.
Speaker 4: I heard, I've heard where he's from. I've heard he
Speaker 4: kicked around there for a little bit.
Speaker 1: I have to consult.
Speaker 3: My nap Jesus around the way guy.
Speaker 1: It's on that map inside the Bible. Yeah, one of
Speaker 1: those towns.
Speaker 4: And I think it should just be left than Argyll
Speaker 4: and it should be just an immediate right on Franklin.
Speaker 1: Everything looks so different, it does. What is that giant
Speaker 1: building that's a hotel? Okay?
Speaker 5: You?
Speaker 4: Oh, is that what you were looking at Yes, I
Speaker 4: thought that was a hotel, but I'm wrong. That's just
Speaker 4: a regular building. No, dank, here's a restaurant. The hotel
Speaker 4: is that's a kipton? Are they ever ever?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Wow, that looks nice.
Speaker 7: Actually it's nice for this area.
Speaker 3: Look what's over there across the street.
Speaker 1: Yep?
Speaker 2: A church?
Speaker 1: Sure, yep.
Speaker 3: Now we're going to see him everywhere?
Speaker 4: Yeah, not gonna know every church.
Speaker 1: I went to. There was like a comedy festival in
Speaker 1: a town, the town that Johnny Carson was from, and
Speaker 1: there was later really a church on every street, maybe
Speaker 1: a town of fifteen thousand people, and they had hundreds
Speaker 1: of churches.
Speaker 4: I wonder if they have a bark to get people.
Speaker 1: Oh, I think they're I think they're packed. I was
Speaker 1: disqualified from the competition because oh wait, I said, shit, no, no,
Speaker 1: that that that's yeah. Yeah yeah, this was in Norfolk.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, everyone there called at Norfolk or north Fork,
Speaker 1: but it was spelled Norfolk. What state it begins with an?
Speaker 1: And I I don't know a lot of corn. I
Speaker 1: think it was perhaps Indiana.
Speaker 4: Indiana, Yeah, yeah, like it was, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're from there, I'm sorry, I don't recall
Speaker 1: all I saw was that I was driven to that
Speaker 1: town and then.
Speaker 4: Easier to just stay straight and then take the next
Speaker 4: little like side street.
Speaker 1: Right. Yeah, but it was one of those situations where
Speaker 1: they did not, Oh, let's do it. I love a
Speaker 1: back allegant. It's a same Is it like a speakeasy?
Speaker 4: Oh no, it's just it's just an easier way to
Speaker 4: get it. I wish it was. It was grimy and gross,
Speaker 4: but now it's it's I just like pretty it eventful. Yeah,
Speaker 4: this is Franklin. There's nothing going on this part of now.
Speaker 2: This is not the donut shop where Ariana Grande touched
Speaker 2: her tongue to one of the donuts.
Speaker 3: Is it remember when she did that?
Speaker 4: Did she do that? I don't know if it's this one.
Speaker 3: It was so long ago.
Speaker 2: They just hit me where it was like pre COVID
Speaker 2: pre I don't even know. But she was standing in
Speaker 2: a donut shop and she just leap forward and went
Speaker 2: like a little lizard and touched her tongue to one
Speaker 2: of the donuts and then like got caught on video
Speaker 2: doing it.
Speaker 4: I think it's all right here. I think Chapel Road
Speaker 4: worked at a donut friend really no way, Yeah, like
Speaker 4: a decade ago, and then she.
Speaker 3: Is so gigantic right here here.
Speaker 4: That's why car. And there's some parking.
Speaker 1: Oh, here's the donut ballet.
Speaker 3: Are you the donut king?
Speaker 4: Oh? It's popular right now it is. We can pop
Speaker 4: out and back in.
Speaker 3: Okay, let's do it. Can I do this?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I got the guy with headphones. It's gonna come yell
Speaker 1: at us.
Speaker 4: But I think so this seems like there's something else
Speaker 4: going on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's okay. Yeah, maybe it's a walkway.
Speaker 2: And I'm do you think I could get through these
Speaker 2: two things and get into the parking.
Speaker 1: Part of me wants to maybe, are there.
Speaker 3: Should we just park here?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean you can risk it. You don't care
Speaker 1: about this fucking car.
Speaker 2: That's very true, that's very true. But my thing is,
Speaker 2: do you think there's a thing here?
Speaker 1: I don't think so. But the only way of knowing
Speaker 1: is if we slowly, slowly roll forward.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there is the thing in the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, this this is this has all the makings
Speaker 1: of success.
Speaker 4: Well, the car will yell you see.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was read for that poll. But we're like,
Speaker 1: oh and now look at us. That guy took his
Speaker 1: headphones off and slow clapped in all my years of
Speaker 1: donut valeting, a job I invented.
Speaker 4: He was just upset that we're taking so long.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, like fucking hurry it up.
Speaker 1: You wished we were more sure of ourselves.
Speaker 3: Should we go in?
Speaker 4: There? We go in.
Speaker 3: I will stay back and watch the nice thank you.
Speaker 1: Oh will stay back as well. I got my sugar
Speaker 1: fixed from this beauty.
Speaker 2: We'll get you, We'll get you.
Speaker 1: Oh A surprised.
Speaker 4: I think that's yeah. It's probably should sing you happy
Speaker 4: birthday for your donut birthday. I'll be so off key,
Speaker 4: you'd be so fun.
Speaker 1: It's the one song that says fun to hear as
Speaker 1: it is to sing the Royalty Free Jam.
Speaker 3: That was a huge fart.
Speaker 1: Yeah did you say fart?
Speaker 2: I was genuinely disappointed, enough so that I grabbed Solomon's
Speaker 2: jacket and pulled on.
Speaker 1: Why are they closed?
Speaker 4: They closed? They have a time that close?
Speaker 3: They closed at five?
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I mean I guess donuts it's early morning game, right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I know, but.
Speaker 4: It's like it's it's Los Angeles. Don't should be like
Speaker 4: a twenty four hour Yeah?
Speaker 1: Let us let us have something in this chaos.
Speaker 2: Let us have our themes.
Speaker 4: But yeah they have. They have really good cake donuts.
Speaker 4: That's why I love them so much.
Speaker 3: What's your best favorite donut?
Speaker 4: I love an old fashion Yes, I like just an
Speaker 4: old fashioned santard glaze.
Speaker 1: Yes, dence, yeah.
Speaker 2: Me too, or that's my truly my number one donate
Speaker 2: old fashioned glaze.
Speaker 4: And then follow up with apple fitter. Yes, I want
Speaker 4: a hockey puck of a donut.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I've tried because I like the way
Speaker 1: they look. It reminds me of the Simpsons or whatever.
Speaker 1: The pink glazed with sprinkles, Oh yeah, and it's no,
Speaker 1: I always regret it. I wish I had gotten a
Speaker 1: standard glazed I see.
Speaker 4: For me, like, I'm only gonna eat one, so I'm
Speaker 4: gonna do the one that feels like that, like I'm
Speaker 4: full afterwards.
Speaker 1: Right, but not one with bacon on it. Something happened
Speaker 1: with me and donuts in Portland maple and bacon. Yeah, bro,
Speaker 1: you don't want a sugar hamburger donut?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 4: Also like, do I need a pull bowl of cereal
Speaker 4: on top of my donut? Right?
Speaker 1: Soggy?
Speaker 4: And that was also like especially that for some couple
Speaker 4: times I did, I was broke. So that's all I
Speaker 4: ate for like two days, Yeah, a pie.
Speaker 3: Donut?
Speaker 1: Right, there was no eating an a venue and you
Speaker 1: just would pay attention to being somewhere and then oh
Speaker 1: yeah there. I guess there would be pizza. But all
Speaker 1: we ate for four days was pizza and donuts.
Speaker 4: Oh, I think there was one time, because there was
Speaker 4: always somebody selling edibles, so it was all I had
Speaker 4: was donuts that day, an edible, oh, half of an edible,
Speaker 4: like I was told to do yes, And then it
Speaker 4: was an energy drink that was sponsoring I was having
Speaker 4: any drinks mixed with vodka, and I'm I offered the
Speaker 4: other half of my edible somebody else and they said no,
Speaker 4: and in my brain it became a cookie again, and
Speaker 4: I hate the whole thing. Oh my poor roommate at
Speaker 4: Bridgetown conr Fessel I woke rab at four. I was like, well,
Speaker 4: guess who has to go to the hospital because you
Speaker 4: think they're having a full panic attack right now. Yeah,
Speaker 4: that was an amazing comedian in Chicago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, those that was such a nostalgic. I mean I
Speaker 1: am nostalgic for all those Bridge towns, but it was
Speaker 1: everyone on their worst behavior.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, it.
Speaker 1: Was Hey we're all going to a strip club. Here's
Speaker 1: where the booze is. That's the most important part. That's
Speaker 1: the first announcement at any venue. Yeah, and I I
Speaker 1: was overdoing it always.
Speaker 4: I fell asleep halfway through introducing Janine Garofalo, really for
Speaker 4: half a second, and I woke up and I blamed
Speaker 4: it on nerves. But it was fully I was fully asleep.
Speaker 4: It was a three hour show too, after like being
Speaker 4: wasted for three days straight.
Speaker 2: Were you the host I was hosting.
Speaker 4: I was hosting a three hour show on the last day,
Speaker 4: and it was like three days of partying. And I
Speaker 4: just halfway through. I'm so excited to tach your next comic. Like,
Speaker 4: so I'm nervous.
Speaker 1: That has to be at first. I don't think any
Speaker 1: comic has ever fallen asleep on the stage.
Speaker 4: Oh no, that's never happened. I mean.
Speaker 2: But also the end, it truly is such a marathon
Speaker 2: of social is like organized socializing and working. So it's
Speaker 2: like all the time in the daytime when the comics
Speaker 2: aren't performing, they are being kind of like everybody meet here,
Speaker 2: everybody do this thing, everybody do that, And of course,
Speaker 2: of course you're gonna want to like drink and do
Speaker 2: drugs during the day because it's the ultimate, like, look
Speaker 2: at us, we're doing our thing together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're at a cafe that has coffee and a
Speaker 1: dozen cats.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, we
Speaker 4: have to go do shows now.
Speaker 2: Yeah what a bummer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we all have to go to perform. Oh. In
Speaker 4: our worst date, I I think it was Greg Edwards.
Speaker 4: It was a small town comedy festival. We all got
Speaker 4: so wasted and he was so funny, but he forgot
Speaker 4: that he just did a joke, and he did it
Speaker 4: immediately afterwards again and everyone clearly is like laughing their
Speaker 4: asses off, and he's very confused while people were laughing
Speaker 4: at the primis that is just he just did the
Speaker 4: joke high. I think that was just drunk right, probably Stone,
Speaker 4: but not much.
Speaker 1: I did that all the time, and I realized now
Speaker 1: that I'm not drinking, it's like, but that's one of
Speaker 1: the things that has gone away. Oh yeah, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to ever tell the same joke in the same set,
Speaker 1: but back to back, that's.
Speaker 4: That's it was hilarious. I've only I've only done I've
Speaker 4: only did stand up Stone once and that was the
Speaker 4: last time, Like, and I don't even drink anymore before sets. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's just, yeah.
Speaker 3: It's so hard.
Speaker 2: It really is so much harder when you are compromised,
Speaker 2: but especially when you're stoned, Like I just I did
Speaker 2: it once. I think there was a show where you
Speaker 2: had to get high beforehand, Yes, and you just certainly
Speaker 2: like you kind of just don't know where you are, right.
Speaker 4: I did that. I did a show where you like,
Speaker 4: you do the sober set and then you do the stones,
Speaker 4: and then I did a stone set. I'm like, it
Speaker 4: was only five minutes, but the way those five minutes
Speaker 4: became an hour and a half. Yeah, And I'm like,
Speaker 4: and I don't know if I was bombing, but it's
Speaker 4: time moved so slowly that laughter wasn't happening fast to
Speaker 4: feel good and not have the thousands.
Speaker 2: You couldn't get the waves on you quickly enough to
Speaker 2: make up for it.
Speaker 1: It was proven. There was some UCB show and granted
Speaker 1: they were doing like improv, but there was a high
Speaker 1: group on weed. There was a group that did mushrooms,
Speaker 1: and then a drunk group, and the drunk group was
Speaker 1: by far the funniest. Yeah, like everyone else was going
Speaker 1: through this, you know, they're petting each other's faces. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like an advertisement.
Speaker 4: I think the only bit I remember saying is marijuana
Speaker 4: makes your stone. I literally just said that, Like, what
Speaker 4: are you doing?
Speaker 2: I'm working on this. Hold let me get through it,
Speaker 2: let me get to it. I loved the post all
Speaker 2: the shows because I think everybody felt very I felt
Speaker 2: very like, oh I hope I do well was I
Speaker 2: was really tight into like not eating it because it
Speaker 2: was like, we're all being so cool and social, but
Speaker 2: you can't show up to like the big warehouse party
Speaker 2: at the end of the night having had like either
Speaker 2: a medium.
Speaker 3: Or shitty set.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Right, So I was extra.
Speaker 2: Kind of keyed up about that. And then by the
Speaker 2: time we got to that end of night party, I
Speaker 2: was just like, this is the best party of all times,
Speaker 2: because it was like, truly I was exhausted.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I just remember Andy Kindler being at the
Speaker 1: dance party and were there not balloons with his face
Speaker 1: on them?
Speaker 4: Kids, I'm very bad at remembering details.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, yeah, I just have the most random detailed things.
Speaker 1: But I just remember him dancing so happy among balloons
Speaker 1: with his face on them, and then every and then
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 4: I hope that happens more than a says life.
Speaker 3: Yes, for real.
Speaker 1: I think that's why I appreciated it is because it
Speaker 1: will never and has not happened to him ever, won
Speaker 1: if it was his like birthday or I wish I
Speaker 1: knew why there is the balloons.
Speaker 2: Also, honestly, I hope I brought my normal glasses because
Speaker 2: it's too dark for sunglasses.
Speaker 3: Now I look like Robert.
Speaker 1: Evans The Kids Stays. I still don't know. All I
Speaker 1: know is there's a movie called The Kid Stays in
Speaker 1: the picture and it's about him. That's all I know
Speaker 1: about him.
Speaker 4: I do not know no more than I do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Robert Evans what he did.
Speaker 3: He's a big movie producers.
Speaker 4: And it sounds deadly what I'm saying, deadly familiar. That nothing,
Speaker 4: It sounds very familiar.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, deadly, deadly, deadly familiar.
Speaker 4: I recognize so well that I died.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 3: Now I'm dead.
Speaker 4: He related too hard.
Speaker 1: There was a I worked a club in Boise, Idaho
Speaker 1: once and showed up a day early, and there was
Speaker 1: a comic that was popular at the time. He was
Speaker 1: a hypnotist comic Jay medicine hat. He was a native
Speaker 1: of an American comic and he was on stage. I
Speaker 1: showed up after this had happened, but he collapsed on stage. Oh,
Speaker 1: paramedics showed up. He had had a heart attack. They
Speaker 1: I think brought him back to a fib. I don't
Speaker 1: know if they paddled him, but he not for being naughty,
Speaker 1: I mean with electricity. And he came back and then
Speaker 1: did twenty more minutes. No wow, Yeah, he would not
Speaker 1: get off stage, and he put another audience member under
Speaker 1: and like was still able to do it.
Speaker 4: Look, so these clubs don't pay you if you don't
Speaker 4: do it right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they told me I had to do it over
Speaker 1: forty five.
Speaker 4: I've got to do it no matter what.
Speaker 3: Do you know, I have to pay for this ambulance.
Speaker 1: Totally, Like that's exactly what I would be thinking. Oh man,
Speaker 1: I have to take five hundred dollars out of my chat. Yes,
Speaker 1: christ I don't think. I think he was a hard hand.
Speaker 4: I have skipped out on a lot of medical bills
Speaker 4: in my life, and I'm out to do it again. Yeah,
Speaker 4: because FI, they can't bother you, that's right. If they
Speaker 4: take into collections against the rules, they can't have access
Speaker 4: to your medical information.
Speaker 2: Yeah, second party collectors are illegal and so you don't
Speaker 2: have to pay them.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 1: Has this always been the case?
Speaker 4: Yep?
Speaker 2: I just read about it on like or heard about
Speaker 2: it on TikTok a year ago or so.
Speaker 4: I literally I'm all my all, Like, all the damage
Speaker 4: I did in my twenties was all because I don't
Speaker 4: have any sooner loan debt. I just only had credit debt.
Speaker 4: I just waited it out. Oh that's I just waited
Speaker 4: seven years and it all went away.
Speaker 1: I think I'm doing it accidentally by never picking up the.
Speaker 4: Phone when I told him. I told him to put
Speaker 4: me on the no call list sometimes, yeah, like what
Speaker 4: are they gonna do? Like if they can find your job,
Speaker 4: they can garnish your wages. But I was like a
Speaker 4: stand up comic doing temp work. Good book, Yeah.
Speaker 3: You're invited to find me.
Speaker 1: I have had doctor's call and be like, hey, I
Speaker 1: don't want to send you to collections, but can you
Speaker 1: please pay this last bill? And when that happens, I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, put me on a payment plan. But I
Speaker 1: did not know that I could ignore collections. This is new.
Speaker 4: Medical bills, right, Yeah, they have no they have they
Speaker 4: have no right to your medical information.
Speaker 2: I had a seizure and my friend took me to
Speaker 2: Cedar Sinai and place work right and I had no insurance,
Speaker 2: so they were immediately bundled me up and got me
Speaker 2: out of there. But I did They did say I
Speaker 2: owed them seven grand for being in their emergency room.
Speaker 2: And they would call me and I would just be like,
Speaker 2: you can call me all you want. I literally have
Speaker 2: zero dollars in my bank.
Speaker 3: So I don't know.
Speaker 2: You keep calling, do whatever you want. I will never
Speaker 2: pay you. I can't pay you. And they just stop calling.
Speaker 1: Right. Oh wow, No, I'm very much.
Speaker 4: If you're in your twenties, you want to make a
Speaker 4: much mistakes, just go off the grid for seven years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wish someone. I wish there was a class.
Speaker 1: There's In high school, I took a class called prep
Speaker 1: for Life, and I thought I would have information about taxes,
Speaker 1: how to get a job. It was home ac. They
Speaker 1: tell you to like bake, but there's so many it is.
Speaker 1: If you're you know, without clothes or a place to live,
Speaker 1: it's important to know how to make an upside down bunt.
Speaker 1: But I I seriously like when I moved here, I
Speaker 1: ran out of money immediately and I paid my rent
Speaker 1: with a credit card. Like that's classically the worst thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta be careful though with the I someone told
Speaker 1: me because I had a fever and I was in
Speaker 1: the middle of shooting some very bad MTV thing. I
Speaker 1: was like a neighbor that had nun chucks. It was
Speaker 1: a a show where they would took these kids and
Speaker 1: move them into a house. It was called the Seventies House.
Speaker 4: I know, Natasha, Yeah, Nasha, Yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 1: So I was like a neighbor.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: They would like quiz them, like, hey, pop quiz and
Speaker 1: it was questions about the seventies. But whoever lost I
Speaker 1: had to kick off the show and then they cried
Speaker 1: because they were they didn't get money that week. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, it had me so stressed out that I
Speaker 1: was used as an actual tool in the gaming part
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 4: Proud of what you were doing. That was that was
Speaker 4: the heyday of Like I'm not like a current reality
Speaker 4: TV show watcher because I loved reality TV show of
Speaker 4: that era so much. Yeah, I'm currently watching Flavor of Love.
Speaker 4: I just watched the first season, season two. It is
Speaker 4: the things they just allowed back then. Yes, nothing will
Speaker 4: love like for me, it will always be the swam
Speaker 4: will always be the most insane thing of all times.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wan made me feel like the world was ended.
Speaker 3: It wasn't. It was pure insane.
Speaker 4: It was like it was like how many like eight
Speaker 4: women or four? Yeah, and then like it was like
Speaker 4: months of healing from class of surgery and then oh god, beauty.
Speaker 2: Pageant they reveal the beauty pageant reveal that was. And
Speaker 2: then there was an article I read after the fact
Speaker 2: where those women basically all almost to a person, broke
Speaker 2: up with their husbands, basically were like I'm hot now
Speaker 2: I'm going to fuck whoever. They went into like a
Speaker 2: world of where they were hot women basically socializing and
Speaker 2: it all fell apart, and the people who produced them
Speaker 2: on that show and changed their faces and changed their lives.
Speaker 3: They would call them afterwards like I don't my.
Speaker 2: Husband won't talk to me anymore, and I blah blah blah,
Speaker 2: and I got I got an STD and did it.
Speaker 2: And these producers were like, we have fucked these women
Speaker 2: and their lives like a minute.
Speaker 4: There was also because like the I forget, I think
Speaker 4: people forgot, like Extreme Makeover Home edition. There was that
Speaker 4: insane plastic surgery one where it was a guy and
Speaker 4: a girl they got a bunch of plastigery and then
Speaker 4: went out a date with each other.
Speaker 3: Oh wow for Extreme Home Makeovers.
Speaker 4: No, that was initial Extreme. That was Extreme Makeover. Oh
Speaker 4: the first the first iteration of it was this plastic
Speaker 4: surgery reality show. And then out of nowhere they go
Speaker 4: and we'll do a home one and.
Speaker 2: We'll do home on so that there's not so much
Speaker 2: psychological impact.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, we're going to fix the damage we did
Speaker 4: off of this one season of TV by doing fifteen
Speaker 4: seasons of being nice.
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: There is a guest that was a judge on that
Speaker 1: the plastic surgery mine. You just meant and I jokingly said, oh,
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to have a butt gin and he's like,
Speaker 1: I can do that for you. Do you want to
Speaker 1: be on this show? And I'm like, I don't really want.
Speaker 1: I don't want to really want to, but Gen, He's like,
Speaker 1: all we'd have to do is this and this. But
Speaker 1: he told me that the pieces of plastic are blue,
Speaker 1: so you'd have blue plastic attached to your skull somewhere
Speaker 1: I don't know why it's blue.
Speaker 4: Yeah, somewhere it's yeah, you.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah to do the buttch and they actually do.
Speaker 3: Oh I thought you said so what Oh?
Speaker 4: I said somewhere somewhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they hide it. It's a guessing game. Guess where
Speaker 1: we put the figure it out. I was almost on it, but.
Speaker 4: I'm probably gonna get something done. I don't know what yet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I why not? That was like, I want to
Speaker 1: be sleek.
Speaker 2: I got my I got a bluffer of plasty. I
Speaker 2: got my eyes done because in my family, hooded eyelids
Speaker 2: or like start when you're like forty five, and in
Speaker 2: the last like two or three years, they were they
Speaker 2: just dropped like I couldn't wear eyeshadow anymore, and I could,
Speaker 2: like my eyes. I looked tired all the time, and
Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck? And then basically my
Speaker 2: sister was like, mom got that done when she was
Speaker 2: like fifty.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, then I'm fucking getting it.
Speaker 4: Should I have had eyes? And and some of you
Speaker 4: does drag every once in a while. It's it is
Speaker 4: I don't like the liner disappearing. Yes, like you do
Speaker 4: all that work to do your cat ie and and okay,
Speaker 4: Like it's just it's just extra skin right here.
Speaker 3: Extra skin right there.
Speaker 2: And also the way they can do it these days,
Speaker 2: because everything is so advanced.
Speaker 3: You just don't even know anybody did it right?
Speaker 4: Why have li suction? You did? It was like a
Speaker 4: six week recovery and then I was just was it painful? No? No,
Speaker 4: Like it was like because they give you like I
Speaker 4: think oxycoton or something like along the line. So I
Speaker 4: didn't feel anything.
Speaker 7: They all like three days, like I don't wear I
Speaker 7: don't like, ok, it's because it's they just actually there's
Speaker 7: like there's like where there's multiple a lot of places.
Speaker 4: There's like one under my belly button. Then there's like
Speaker 4: four like six other like tiny incisions that they pulled from. Wow.
Speaker 1: And then you're sore or you were probably pre Like.
Speaker 4: You're sore, you're like wearing a nice little corset year
Speaker 4: guts and oh yeah.
Speaker 2: Were you at like a medspa or did you dude
Speaker 2: it like a hospital.
Speaker 4: I went to like this hospital. It was it's like
Speaker 4: the surgery like took like thirty minutes. Yeah, I was
Speaker 4: out same day, So crazy.
Speaker 1: That place tod chase you down for the bill for sure.
Speaker 4: The money was upfront. It's like a mobby with taxic surgery.
Speaker 4: I don't want to see the cash in front. Maybe
Speaker 4: hopefully in a briefcase.
Speaker 3: H they're trusting no person.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well they offer financial like stuff, but I was like,
Speaker 4: I can I can do this right right?
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, makes you I feel like with something
Speaker 1: like that, I would want to pay, like just for
Speaker 1: the like, I don't want to cut corners.
Speaker 4: Oh no, yeah, I was the best guy.
Speaker 1: Want some free lace of guy surgery? No, I definitely
Speaker 1: want to pay full price.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't want, you know, I want to just
Speaker 4: go and tack on a little more just to make
Speaker 4: sure that you're it's my eyeballs.
Speaker 1: I don't want to cut corners.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The time that I did the mistake you were
Speaker 1: talking about where I went into repeatedly went into an
Speaker 1: er because someone in there said we need to monitor
Speaker 1: your blood over a series of days, so multiple just
Speaker 1: me not knowing, multiple er visits at Kaiser Permanent day
Speaker 1: and they it was so many thousands of dollars and
Speaker 1: I called almost crying because I'm like this will end me.
Speaker 1: And they said, well, you can apply for our our
Speaker 1: financial aid. They might help you out, so I it
Speaker 1: was the old timy days. I wrote a handwritten with
Speaker 1: a feather quill and said, please, I'm a comedian. I
Speaker 1: don't have just a sub story. And then they wrote back.
Speaker 1: I got a letter and said, okay, we covered it,
Speaker 1: all of it. Wow, to where I felt like, oh,
Speaker 1: I just worked the system meant for someone in more
Speaker 1: need than me. I'm like, I didn't want. I didn't
Speaker 1: want all of it, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: But yeah, I got it.
Speaker 1: I was the only one that wrote a letter that month.
Speaker 4: Maybe you got you got the you gotta you got
Speaker 4: the one insurance person on a good day.
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly one, the one caring like they probably.
Speaker 4: Got fired afterwards.
Speaker 1: Who who would have thought this episode would have all
Speaker 1: these raids reviews the American healthcare system? Well, I got
Speaker 1: a free ride back in two thousand and four.
Speaker 4: At this point, if people need to find ways to
Speaker 4: rig the system, yeah for sure, I'm happy to help.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that though.
Speaker 2: That's really that's good takeaway for a podcast, is like,
Speaker 2: are you suffering under a medical debt?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Just ignore it?
Speaker 4: Yeah. Also just light of the government. It's fun. Yeah,
Speaker 4: there's too many of us to figure out which ones slide?
Speaker 1: That's right. Yeah, I learned from someone uh that rear
Speaker 1: ended me and just they simply didn't pick up the phone.
Speaker 1: If someone's calling you and you don't know who it is,
Speaker 1: maybe they'll leave a message, but just don't pick up
Speaker 1: the phone.
Speaker 4: I haven't picked up the phone in ten years.
Speaker 3: You're right, for real.
Speaker 1: I'm also realizing that's what's happened to me with chill business.
Speaker 4: There are drawbacks, sure, yeah, yeah, a lot of people
Speaker 4: are answering the mine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, last minute comics on TV. I don't answer those either.
Speaker 1: That's a fancy hotel for dogs, Yes, for dogs only.
Speaker 1: It used to be a late night place for sex
Speaker 1: and not because.
Speaker 4: It still is.
Speaker 3: It's it depends.
Speaker 1: I when I first moved here, I there was a
Speaker 1: guy punching a late I just had moved here and
Speaker 1: I had I'm like, oh what, I didn't know this city,
Speaker 1: and I went in there. I'm like chasing after him.
Speaker 1: And that was the place where the cops showed up
Speaker 1: and said, use that phrase you've used, that's not a
Speaker 1: legit and not a legitimate person or whatever, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: did you just say that's heard it on like crime docs?
Speaker 2: Some sort of inside yace lingo where they it's like
Speaker 2: end something somebody rod.
Speaker 1: He yelled at me for calling the cops that he
Speaker 1: said that was a pimp and his employee, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: where have I moved? I don't want to live here.
Speaker 4: But it's sorry.
Speaker 2: You have to explain what you mean with a place
Speaker 2: for late night sex and you're pointing to a building
Speaker 2: on the pilot, right, It's.
Speaker 4: Just it's nice.
Speaker 1: It's a yeah, it's like an hourly hotel for set you.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: I didn't know.
Speaker 2: That it's like a car right, the bathroom in a bar.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought I was just saying, hey, don't punch
Speaker 1: your friend, but it was a whole different situation. And
Speaker 1: then the cop yelled at me. It's just a terrible
Speaker 1: thing for it to be my first, like day.
Speaker 4: I feel like LA likes to do that to you.
Speaker 4: If you're a transplant. LA is like, I'm gonna show
Speaker 4: you truly the toughest month of your life, okay, guy.
Speaker 3: For thirty eight months in a row.
Speaker 4: I think, like my second day here, I went to
Speaker 4: take the bus for the first time and there was
Speaker 4: a guy just scooping the ship out of his pants
Speaker 4: to the garbage. Yeah. I was like, okay, maybe I'm
Speaker 4: gonna go to the next bus.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah, I should have started with Seattle. Oh
Speaker 1: you are from Seattle.
Speaker 4: I'm Seattle.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's where I started. Yeah.
Speaker 4: You were there the year Cobaine killed himself. Wow, And
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, white people are very sad. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I got so what's this music? What's it about?
Speaker 1: Wow? That was ninety ninety three, ninety.
Speaker 3: Four, Okay, that's the year I moved here.
Speaker 4: Yeah year I was. I was some mean teen in Seattle.
Speaker 1: Was but you how many places did you move around to?
Speaker 4: As Because we came to America when I was like four,
Speaker 4: from Sudan and we lived in Saint Louis, Missouri for
Speaker 4: a couple of years. We hated that. Then we moved
Speaker 4: to Frenst of California for seven years and we hated that, okay,
Speaker 4: and then Seattle. I was in Seattle for like sixteen
Speaker 4: years that I mean, sat went there, and then I
Speaker 4: came here. I try to live here for this is
Speaker 4: three times to try to live here. The first time
Speaker 4: I was like a teenage run away when I was
Speaker 4: seventeen in nineteen eighty nine. Oh wow, and I ran
Speaker 4: out of money and stayed in like shelters, including one
Speaker 4: for like sex workers under the age of eighteen. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and I wasn't one, but she could tell that, Oh,
Speaker 4: this is a closet homosexual, these girls will fine around.
Speaker 3: Yeah, get in here.
Speaker 4: And then I went back home. And then I came
Speaker 4: back again when I was like twenty four in two
Speaker 4: thousand and six, and I was like the like the
Speaker 4: vague idea of becoming famous but not having anything, like
Speaker 4: nothing attached to it, right, just a dream. Yeah, And
Speaker 4: then I like I got I got, I was going,
Speaker 4: I was leaving akbar to go to my house and
Speaker 4: it's over like and I got mugged like two houses down.
Speaker 1: From my own with with a gun or a knife
Speaker 1: with a gun.
Speaker 4: It was two guys. Oh, and like it was a
Speaker 4: big guy and it was a tiny guy behind him
Speaker 4: was like a very like Russian doll.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: But like I had all like pick because I just
Speaker 4: got a new jobs, like all my documents are on
Speaker 4: me oh shit, and my cell phone side just like
Speaker 4: I went back home Seattle again and then I started
Speaker 4: to stand up the next year and then five years
Speaker 4: later I came back and this city stuck with me.
Speaker 2: And and you're looking for that big guy and that
Speaker 2: little guy.
Speaker 4: Honestly, they were they did a great job. They were efficient,
Speaker 4: they were fast. It took like less than ten seconds, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they were just like give us your bag.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's like give us everything. And I'm like sure, sure,
Speaker 4: lud love.
Speaker 2: To and did you did you try to say can
Speaker 2: you please at least just give me my papers?
Speaker 4: Oh? I just feel like it's a weird time to negotiate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 4: Don't really think. Yeah, you are so right. Unfortunately I'm
Speaker 4: not great improblem. This is the year before you start
Speaker 4: doing stand ups. I'm not wasn't there yet.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but that is my last stick. Oh man ship. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That the times I've been mugged, it seemed very casual
Speaker 1: and did that just happen kind of a situation, it's not.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I remember like that night I went and
Speaker 4: met up with a few friends. It was like still
Speaker 4: a time, like a lot of people getting mugged in
Speaker 4: like sort of lake. And I went to Spaceland and
Speaker 4: me and my friend spoke cigarets and everybody told me
Speaker 4: their story about getting ugged.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: Everyone, Yeah, mine, I don't know if it's mugged if
Speaker 1: it's like it's been my idea, Hey do you want money?
Speaker 1: Like yeah, well that and our interaction because uh, maybe
Speaker 1: you were just showing me your gun and covering it up,
Speaker 1: uh like communication.
Speaker 4: And you're too worried that there was a gun that
Speaker 4: you're right.
Speaker 1: You know what.
Speaker 4: I don't want to be rude.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say, hello.
Speaker 4: I don't assume that you don't have a gun, because
Speaker 4: that was just mean of me.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 1: I had a guy who showed me his gun and
Speaker 1: then he didn't say anything, and so I took over
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'll give you. How about I give
Speaker 1: you some money. I don't have a lot, And then
Speaker 1: he walked away. I'm like, did I just maybe I
Speaker 1: mugged myself. Yes, it's very bizarre, like you.
Speaker 4: Kind of have to like wait for them to request
Speaker 4: things you shouldn't offer us.
Speaker 1: Right, I know what. I just wanted to end the
Speaker 1: weird thing that was happening.
Speaker 4: If somebody just showed me the gun and doesn't tell
Speaker 4: me exactly what, I'd be like, I have a daven
Speaker 4: Buster's car.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2: That, because that is the thing of a person that's
Speaker 2: like I don't even know what I'm trying to do,
Speaker 2: and I have a gun. That's bad situation.
Speaker 4: These guys had give me everything, and I'm like, and
Speaker 4: I was wearing skinny jeans so they could see everything, right, right,
Speaker 4: that was the curse of skinny jeans. I'm very glad
Speaker 4: that we walked back out of that because now no
Speaker 4: one knows what's in my pockets.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 4: Oh you can see my fucking cell phone from a
Speaker 4: mile away back then, God damn it, especially the flip
Speaker 4: phones oh.
Speaker 2: Sticking out like double yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh, and my poor ankles. I'm so I'm glad I'm
Speaker 4: that era.
Speaker 2: I read an article though lately, or like a headline
Speaker 2: where it was like our skinny Jean's back, and I
Speaker 2: was just like, why do we do this to ourselves?
Speaker 4: Yeah, because it's fun. It's still it's still fun. I
Speaker 4: feel well. I'm also the wall of gray thing now,
Speaker 4: was like after like forty why, like right, why am
Speaker 4: I even trying to tip my toes into anything? Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's none of my business anymore. They're not talking to me.
Speaker 4: It's not about our skinny te's back. No, they don't
Speaker 4: worry about it. You're a ghost sit up.
Speaker 3: Not for you.
Speaker 4: No one cares what you're awarreing.
Speaker 3: Just put this apron on and sit down.
Speaker 4: Just make sure no ite can see your loose nipples.
Speaker 4: It was happy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I think I've just resorted to like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just wear what I wore when I was at
Speaker 1: my happiest and some dressed like an early nineties skateboarder
Speaker 1: all that time.
Speaker 4: I'm just like, I just buy a bunch of soft
Speaker 4: shirts and jeans in those colors. Yeah, Like that makes
Speaker 4: me feel so good, buying something in every color and
Speaker 4: being like, this is what I'm gonna wear for the
Speaker 4: next two months.
Speaker 3: This is the plan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just different color, like a pill box for the week.
Speaker 4: It's just yeah, it's just it's just all just been
Speaker 4: narrowed down to the very basics of a wardrobe.
Speaker 2: I really do think quarantine boiled things, really boiled things
Speaker 2: down for people in that way where it's just like,
Speaker 2: I'm definitely not going back out of soft pants if
Speaker 2: I got to live in them for two years.
Speaker 3: And felt this like truly overjoyed.
Speaker 2: In being it's like putting on jeans like, oh.
Speaker 3: It's like a pain.
Speaker 4: Well, it's like I had underwhere I would wear if
Speaker 4: I'm going out to like a gay bar to like
Speaker 4: hook up. I'm like, that's I had like special fun underwear.
Speaker 4: I'm like, never again, they're all they all go down
Speaker 4: to my knees. Now, yeah, it's all. Comfort has been
Speaker 4: the number one thing for me from now on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that a lot of people. It's like,
Speaker 1: that's the revelation. Yeah, no more. I didn't know my
Speaker 1: pant I had skinny jeans until I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 1: like these jeans. I have one more in these for
Speaker 1: a couple of years, and then it's just.
Speaker 4: Like, I don't think we get the respect for how
Speaker 4: truly uncomfortable our clothes were in the early two thousands,
Speaker 4: especially women's club wear, those were truly some of the
Speaker 4: most insane heels business casual, all the way down to
Speaker 4: the toe of the toes. I've like, I have friends
Speaker 4: who'd had those wear those heelss heels shoes, the ones
Speaker 4: that had no back heel, and go dancing with those.
Speaker 4: I'm like, what we do?
Speaker 6: Wait?
Speaker 1: What is back there? Their heels just hovering, You're just you're.
Speaker 4: Just floating on the top, You're just sitting on the
Speaker 4: balls of your feet.
Speaker 3: It's almost like a sea.
Speaker 2: It's like the thing you would put your laptop on,
Speaker 2: but it's a shoe.
Speaker 1: Oh my, I can't even so you actively have to
Speaker 1: walk on your tippy toes.
Speaker 4: Yes, well you kind of have to with heels. It's
Speaker 4: really it's really a dangerous thing to do. There's also
Speaker 4: this insane they weren't wedges, but they were like those
Speaker 4: angled heels.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was I have rolled both my ankles enough
Speaker 2: time so that heels. I'm like, I bet it would
Speaker 2: look great. I simply can't do it. I have to
Speaker 2: stay near the ground and all the time.
Speaker 4: I feel like it's you should it should be like
Speaker 4: a driver's license.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well if you if you take them off in an
Speaker 4: hour and you're walking breakfoot in the street, you're like, okay,
Speaker 4: we can't let you.
Speaker 1: Yeah you have to take you have to take the
Speaker 1: written test again. Wow, over too far? Yeah, don't like it.
Speaker 1: Don't like your anticipation.
Speaker 4: Yeah, people get really into it's it's a lot of like,
Speaker 4: let me put my dick in your lane, and why
Speaker 4: don't you just go all the way?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, don't just play grab ass with your bumpers.
Speaker 4: It's like they stop, like if they're about to turn
Speaker 4: in front of you, and they see you coming and
Speaker 4: they stop halfway through. I'm like, well, what do you
Speaker 4: think we're gonna do here? Right? Like, I can't drive
Speaker 4: through you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've forced to let you go.
Speaker 3: You better go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, you can't negotiate.
Speaker 4: It's like you can't pause. Now. It's I feel like
Speaker 4: that's always one thing specific by LA. It's people are assholes,
Speaker 4: but they stop and think about it halfway through. Just
Speaker 4: you could have just been the asshole. Fine, you stopping
Speaker 4: to think about it ruined it from I.
Speaker 2: Think that's the delay of pills, don't you Or there's
Speaker 2: so many people on some serious, serious medication.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just only here on Henwood Cream.
Speaker 3: Just trying to live my life.
Speaker 1: I have to get home and sit on a donut.
Speaker 4: Please may I know the world has changed a lot.
Speaker 4: You don't need donuts anymore. I have, like I literally have.
Speaker 4: If anything comes up, I have like nitroglycerin and botox
Speaker 4: ready to go.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, need old time you poke it.
Speaker 4: I've don't like. I don't like last year.
Speaker 1: That's amazing.
Speaker 4: Since then, it's been sweet relief.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's great.
Speaker 4: I probably should take a picture of it. Sh like,
Speaker 4: it's never looks so good in my life.
Speaker 3: It's not.
Speaker 1: Is it the same botox you would put on your face?
Speaker 4: Do you ever shoot? Because it under your eye a
Speaker 4: little left over, but no hemrhoids, like because henrooid's like
Speaker 4: the tissuar area and it's a nerve damage. Like it's
Speaker 4: it's nerves that causes pops occur. Oh wow, like desnsizing
Speaker 4: them with botox kind of is very beneficial because.
Speaker 1: That is really taking matters into your own hands. I
Speaker 1: guess I've never I can't imagine. Yeah, I can't raise
Speaker 1: my buttole up anymore. But right right, Yeah it's frigid,
Speaker 1: but no without getting some ribs removed. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: think I could put a needle in me in my
Speaker 1: in meself.
Speaker 4: Oh I don't know't do myself. Oh okay, as a
Speaker 4: doctor doesn't. Oh no, I think I'm just by myself
Speaker 4: at my house. Just yeah, no, just botox is.
Speaker 2: So impressed, just like this is an incredible story.
Speaker 4: Oh no, it's it is a It is a it
Speaker 4: is a survey to the greater people.
Speaker 1: I thought you had botox in your apartment. You're just
Speaker 1: not done. Your neighbors like a shooting calm.
Speaker 4: I'm I would be so impressive by I cannot give
Speaker 4: myself a needle, yeah, especially I don't hate it when
Speaker 4: somebody else gives me one, but I can't do it myself.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, there's no way. I tried to during COVID
Speaker 1: like this, it's going to be the time I look
Speaker 1: at it and it I can't handle it. I have
Speaker 1: to look away.
Speaker 4: I actually when somebody's giving it to me, I do
Speaker 4: like to look at it.
Speaker 1: And we are talking about heroin, right, yes, okay, go
Speaker 1: ahead and.
Speaker 3: You can shoot whatever up down sideways.
Speaker 4: Everything is there.
Speaker 2: I have to say, because I have been taking Montaro
Speaker 2: for almost two years now, miracle drug, and it is
Speaker 2: a needle that I have to inject myself once to
Speaker 2: make and it is no big deal like like the
Speaker 2: I was worried at first, And once you do it
Speaker 2: the way they have it set up, it just you
Speaker 2: put it against your skin, push a plunger and the
Speaker 2: needle isn't like outside of the thing, so it's not.
Speaker 4: I think the first time you do it is the
Speaker 4: scariest edything.
Speaker 2: After that and then you just go, oh, it's just
Speaker 2: this tiny little prick of a feeling the end.
Speaker 4: I've never had like it's I've never been in a
Speaker 4: position to have to do it myself yet. Yeah, but
Speaker 4: I feel like boy because like I think I'm currently
Speaker 4: eating somebody who he has to write his issues and
Speaker 4: he has to give himself a shot twice a month,
Speaker 4: and he's like he hated. They told me hated in
Speaker 4: the beginning, but now it's like, yeah, it is what
Speaker 4: it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's not.
Speaker 2: I think people imagine the old like a nurse from
Speaker 2: a movie that's squirting a big you know, sitting and
Speaker 2: the needle is free and loose and really long, and
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't I think the average when you have.
Speaker 3: To inject like that it is. It's the little short one.
Speaker 1: And you put it in your butt or your abdomen
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 4: It's like.
Speaker 3: You can pick, but you have to kind of rotate.
Speaker 2: So it's like if you do either side of your
Speaker 2: belly button or either underarm, and you.
Speaker 3: Just kind of go all month, you just kind of
Speaker 3: go in a circle.
Speaker 1: Boy, it had to be awful the first time.
Speaker 8: Though, No really, well no, I mean cause I think
Speaker 8: a nerves because I don't think it's I've never like
Speaker 8: it's ever been the pain with the shots, right, the
Speaker 8: initial like I get it done exactly.
Speaker 3: It's like building up in your head. You do it once,
Speaker 3: like I.
Speaker 4: Want to get bood drawn or I get an ivy.
Speaker 4: I'm not bothered by that needle ever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe I'm just a whim. I can't even put
Speaker 1: in a contact lens. Oh, I've never. I've tried, but
Speaker 1: they're the halloweeny.
Speaker 4: Uh. You know, I've successfully done a handful of times,
Speaker 4: and it is very difficult.
Speaker 3: I just don't like it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just because you have to look away but
Speaker 4: also not look away, and it's you're crossing multitasking.
Speaker 1: You have to get all Marty Feldman.
Speaker 3: Look away, not look away.
Speaker 4: Like if I could put it in like a fucking
Speaker 4: like blow dart and like shoot it off a mirror
Speaker 4: into my eyes, I'd be so happy.
Speaker 3: It's so true though.
Speaker 2: It's like you're you are first of all, touching your eyeball.
Speaker 2: You are you're having to land it correctly, but then
Speaker 2: you also can't. You can't like you have to, like
Speaker 2: your vision does have to go a little blurry just
Speaker 2: to like go and then you're there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I finally, like I just I think this year
Speaker 4: was like or last year was a year that I
Speaker 4: finally figured out I drops without closing my eye and
Speaker 4: then just pulling off to the side.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh yeah, I'm still I'm still about it took
Speaker 1: it took so long to get there. Yeah, Usually it's
Speaker 1: six or seven right in my eyelashes. Yes, but I'm flinching.
Speaker 4: And eventually get in through the cracks and.
Speaker 1: I just I aim for a little reservoir next to
Speaker 1: my nose and then I just wipe it in with
Speaker 1: my fingers and hopefully.
Speaker 4: Somebody told me how to aff in the right way recently, Yeah,
Speaker 4: the nose spray. Yeah, for like like whenever you're congested.
Speaker 4: Mm hmmm, because I've been doing it like straight up,
Speaker 4: and they told me that you're supposed to aim it
Speaker 4: out and then squeeze and then lightly in hell, you
Speaker 4: don't need to do that much.
Speaker 3: Even outside you're like.
Speaker 4: You're supposed to a like towards the outer part spray
Speaker 4: so it goes up and but you'd lightly in hell,
Speaker 4: I might be saying it the wrong way. It's been
Speaker 4: a minute since I did like three months ago, so
Speaker 4: I can't remember anymore.
Speaker 1: Well. With afron, I think that's something where it's like
Speaker 1: you're go directly up. I'm going to abuse this, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do it too long. It feels it's the immediate results.
Speaker 4: Things like when I'm so congested from the allergies, I
Speaker 4: just need some because I can't think at all when
Speaker 4: I'm congested.
Speaker 1: Do you have allergies in your house?
Speaker 4: Not in my house, but there's always something because LA
Speaker 4: doesn't get rid of the stuff you're allergic to, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4: So it's like most days I'm fine, but whenever there's
Speaker 4: like a season of like tiny seasonal shift, like for
Speaker 4: like a two weeks, I'm just like, yeah, please see
Speaker 4: I just.
Speaker 1: Was I was having a I thought it was mold.
Speaker 1: I don't know. And I'm two days in having multiple
Speaker 1: air purier fires in my house and I was sneezing outside.
Speaker 1: Oh it works. I did not. I can't believe. It's
Speaker 1: one of those things where it's like, how did I
Speaker 1: just discover this? Now?
Speaker 4: It truly it's it makes the air of the house
Speaker 4: so much better. But yeah, I have like three air purifiers,
Speaker 4: the Dyson ones in my house. I just I need it.
Speaker 4: I have to.
Speaker 1: I need to Breathe never paid attention to them until
Speaker 1: recently and it's great and.
Speaker 4: You clean them out to you're like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: Well there's times where because for it went so long
Speaker 2: without rain, we went so long without rain that there
Speaker 2: was just like all this accumulated pollen. And then there
Speaker 2: was apparently I remember reading something about how there was
Speaker 2: like if normally there's three hundred thousand whatever of pollen
Speaker 2: in the air like that, now it's you know, wait,
Speaker 2: what's the first number. I gave three hundred thousand, Yeah, whatever,
Speaker 2: Now it's two million or something. Where the parts per air,
Speaker 2: it was like all pollen. We're just like, that's why
Speaker 2: everybody had allergies like two years ago.
Speaker 3: It just never stopped.
Speaker 1: Man, I'm it's funny that someone.
Speaker 4: Look up all that, Yeah, because honestly that nobody look
Speaker 4: it up. Somebody put on.
Speaker 2: The most anti science information that what am I saying?
Speaker 3: What am I saying?
Speaker 1: Well, there is no I don't know why. I constantly
Speaker 1: I just could not breathe all the fifteen years I
Speaker 1: was in Venice living by the ocean. The minute I
Speaker 1: got out of there and moved downtown, I could breathe.
Speaker 1: I'm allergic to the ocean. You would think that's the
Speaker 1: air that everyone strives for the ocean. Yeah, yeah, beautiful
Speaker 1: ocean air, a dolphin, gander and.
Speaker 4: I but that's where life came from. You would think
Speaker 4: it's fully kicked your bloods hard out.
Speaker 1: When I'm at the beach, I can't breathe.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: No one really weird. No one tells this story. I
Speaker 1: don't know what it is.
Speaker 4: Somebody, honestly, we should. I'm glad you told the story. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but it does.
Speaker 1: Make sense if someone says, oh, I have no allergies
Speaker 1: in the desert, like or maybe I'm thinking of our thread.
Speaker 4: It kind of reminds me of do you remember those
Speaker 4: like it was a reality show, like there was no
Speaker 4: talk shows where they had those kids that were allergic
Speaker 4: to the sun and they had to hang out at night.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, some of those kids, I don't no one's
Speaker 4: ever checked back.
Speaker 2: And they're kind of like the bubble boy type of children.
Speaker 2: Or it's just like they really couldn't be like, no.
Speaker 4: There's they're allergic to sun or UV raised so they
Speaker 4: can only hang out at night.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is where I used to park for MBAR.
Speaker 4: Is it We're still around? So?
Speaker 1: What what is that?
Speaker 5: That?
Speaker 1: What is that called I've never even heard of aldren
Speaker 1: that can't be in the sun.
Speaker 4: It was just it might be in a fake talk
Speaker 4: show thing.
Speaker 3: It was like a rare disease.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: They loved the feature, like, oh, this child is suffering
Speaker 2: in this way.
Speaker 4: Like Donahue.
Speaker 1: It's just like that.
Speaker 2: Stuff you should not be watching as a child, that
Speaker 2: you absolutely can't stop watching as a child.
Speaker 4: And also like the like like the people that like
Speaker 4: aged very old, very young.
Speaker 2: He's twelve, but he looks like he's eighty nine.
Speaker 4: Yes, that's what I love. The big babies.
Speaker 3: I love a big baby, just a gigantic Yeah.
Speaker 4: And they just had like, oh my baby weighs fifty pounds.
Speaker 4: I'm like, absolutely break them out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, please tell me he smokes.
Speaker 4: Oh the smoking baby. Oh wow, Oh yeah, that did.
Speaker 1: I thought that was that he was like such an adult.
Speaker 3: He had been he'd seen some ship that baby.
Speaker 4: You know. Sometimes that's how I guys to pick the habit.
Speaker 2: So, do you have anything you want to plug or
Speaker 2: talk about that we.
Speaker 3: Didn't get to.
Speaker 4: Well, there's a season two of Survival with Thickest. He's
Speaker 4: going to be out on Netflix on March twenty seventh,
Speaker 4: and I'm very proud of that. I make a small
Speaker 4: appearance as a drag queen working at a bar. So
Speaker 4: oh that's great for the giant woman.
Speaker 3: She's tall.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. I haven't watched any yet and I'm
Speaker 1: going to start from scratch. Yeah, I totally She's slept on.
Speaker 4: Selle is like one of the best people.
Speaker 3: Michelle Buteau.
Speaker 2: And also we have Michelle Bute's podcast Adulting. They retired
Speaker 2: from it, but we still have it in our catalog.
Speaker 2: So listener if you want to hear two hilarious people,
Speaker 2: Michelle Buteu and Jordan Carlos.
Speaker 1: What are you do? You have a podcast as well?
Speaker 4: I'm just free and hanging out.
Speaker 1: You've had one?
Speaker 4: I did have one? Okay, good, I probably should bring
Speaker 4: it back. I'm just not doing it. I need to
Speaker 4: be active again. Yeah, I should care about I'm reintroducing
Speaker 4: myself into the world of standum comedy after like taking
Speaker 4: a little bit of a break.
Speaker 1: So I'm that was going to be and Naya one
Speaker 1: hundred percent understand that.
Speaker 2: But you absolutely have to your your voice is very
Speaker 2: important and stand up coming.
Speaker 4: Oh and it's it's so demeaning and degrading and I'm
Speaker 4: so happy to hurt all these men's feelings. I miss
Speaker 4: it so much.
Speaker 2: But I started following you on TikTok and you're doing
Speaker 2: an amazing job on TikTok.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's an absolute to do that. I didn't know
Speaker 4: you fo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm on there, except for I made the ultimate
Speaker 2: mistake because I'm fully addicted to TikTok and so in it.
Speaker 2: And then uh, I fucking deleted the app the day
Speaker 2: that they because I was like, I don't want to
Speaker 2: stare at it, like I don't want to just sit
Speaker 2: here and not be able to access it. And literally
Speaker 2: twelve hours later, Bridge's like, yeah, it's over, the the
Speaker 2: ban is over, and I'm like, wait what and I
Speaker 2: go to download it again.
Speaker 3: They look, you can't do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah it's yeah, it's not so legal.
Speaker 1: It was a political stunt. Well, I also want you
Speaker 1: to stand up again and remind you. I'll make you happy.
Speaker 4: I don't know if this is out. Yeah, I'm being
Speaker 4: around town in LA doing stand up. So find me.
Speaker 4: Hunt me down, don't hurt me down, actually never mind,
Speaker 4: just look me up there. Gently approached me, Gently approach me,
Speaker 4: I wrote, I can't wait, Yes, yes.
Speaker 1: Yes, no tight pants please?
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, no wear type pants. I want to see
Speaker 4: what you're carrying, right, right?
Speaker 1: Do not bring tight pants for me to then wear.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being honest.
Speaker 4: So much appreciated. I missed you too.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride? Do
Speaker 1: You y In? This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2: Our senior producer is Annalise Nelson.
Speaker 1: Mixed by Edson Troy.
Speaker 2: Our talent booker is Patrick Cotner.
Speaker 1: Theme song by Karen Kilgareff.
Speaker 3: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 2: podcast That's d y n Ar Podcast.
Speaker 1: For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Oh You're welcome