1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray. 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to stump mom never told you? 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:17,799 Speaker 1: From house to works dot Com. Hey, and welcome to podcast. 4 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 1: This is smelly and I'm Kristen Christ and I have 5 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: a shopping weakness. It's books. Books. I went on a 6 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,560 Speaker 1: book bench to or a couple of days ago. I 7 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: have this thing in my house, this this uh you know, 8 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: like thing my dad gave me and it's it's a 9 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: quote that says when I get a little bit of money, 10 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,959 Speaker 1: I buy books, and if I have anything left over, 11 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: I buy clothes and food. And that's that does sort 12 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: of wrap me up, which which means that may not 13 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 1: be the typical audience member for this podcast, but I 14 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: understand their their needs and desires all the same because 15 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,479 Speaker 1: back when Old Sex in the City was on the 16 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: air all the time and Ladies was going crazy to 17 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: have the coolest shoes in the hottest handbag eggs. I mean, 18 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: if it had been a show about buying a lot 19 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: of books, I would have understood a lot better. But 20 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: I think that, you know, essentially the show painted women 21 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 1: as shop aholics, and then there were the Shopoholic books, 22 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: Confessions of a Shopoholic and the movie that followed that. 23 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: And so I think that there's a pretty big stereotype 24 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: out there that women they loved the shop, they loved 25 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: the shop. And right now I can't get the idea 26 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: out of my head for kind of a Sex and 27 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 1: City spinoff or Carrie Bradshaw is a well dressed librarian. 28 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,040 Speaker 1: Do you think you could latch onto that idea a 29 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: little bit more? I will tell you that when in 30 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 1: the movie Sex and the City movie, when she got 31 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: married in the library, it made my heart skip of 32 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: each dream wedding. Okay, well, back to shopping. I totally 33 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: agree with you. I mean, of course, there's a stereotype 34 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: out there that women are just the shop a hoolics. 35 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 1: Men are just gonna stay at home and and watch 36 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: their their televisions and work on their rath I R 37 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: rays while we're just spend spend spend same things. Yeah, really, 38 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: things like makeup, things that don't band. Think of the 39 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 1: Carry Bradshaw quote, I will be the old lady who 40 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 1: lived in my shoes. You know that was the episode 41 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,800 Speaker 1: where she was having some money troubles and she realized 42 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 1: just how much money she'd spend on shoes. She had 43 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,799 Speaker 1: no assets, but she had a closet full of Leno los. 44 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: I mean, I can keep going on with the sex 45 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,519 Speaker 1: and the city quotes like I like my money where 46 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: I can see it in my closet. And so when 47 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 1: we were researching this podcast, we actually found a few 48 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: quotes about how you know, forget about how many people 49 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,959 Speaker 1: carry Bradshaw had sex with. What she really taught generation 50 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: of women is to screw up their money. Yeah, like 51 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: you know, a bad credit history. As Jezebel contributing editor 52 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: Tracy Egan wrote, it is worse than a case of herpes. 53 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: Well put Tracy Egan, So, I think that let's get 54 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: to the root of this. Perhaps one of the most 55 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:56,240 Speaker 1: annoying stereotypes gender stereotypes, I would say of women's shopoholics, 56 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: because I don't know if you remember an old little 57 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 1: nickname I talk stout way back when thrifty nickel, thrift nickel. Yeah, 58 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: shop that stereotype at all. I am not a shopaholic, 59 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: as evidenced by my wardrobe. But I gotta do a 60 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 1: fault sometimes, I think, so I do yourself down. Kristen, Hey, Molly, 61 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, um, But seriously, I don't. I 62 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: really don't feel like I fall in line with this, 63 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: although there are certain times when kind of like you, 64 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: like I do have odd splurges on things. But according 65 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: to the Gallop Pole February two tho, women are actually 66 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: doing better with their money than men are, at least 67 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,840 Speaker 1: in day to day spending. The average self reported spending 68 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: among women was forty nine dollars a day in January 69 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: of this year, which was down from December and fourteen 70 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: of January last year. Now, in contrast, men are spending 71 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 1: twenty six dollars a day more seventy five dollars a day, 72 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: which is only down four dollars from December. So men 73 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: are spending more money. Men are spending more money. That 74 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: is a lot of words to say. Men are spending 75 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 1: more money every day at a time in which you know, 76 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 1: women's salaries are starting to catch up with men. So 77 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 1: it's not like they just have more money to spend. 78 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: There are cases in which you know, women are finally 79 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: starting to make as much money as men and they're 80 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: not spending as much of it. Yeah, and I think 81 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,919 Speaker 1: we've Shawell of the term man's session also in a 82 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 1: podcast episode because men are getting laid off far more 83 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: than women, and more men are on unemployment. So guys, 84 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: what are you doing out there spending all this money 85 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 1: unless it's for dinners for women, which I'm sure they'll 86 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 1: all write in that it was. We'll get to their 87 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: session a minute, because I think the spending habits in 88 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: their session are pretty interesting. Um, but first, let's just 89 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 1: go back to the stereotype. And I really liked this 90 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,360 Speaker 1: article that we found from Time magazine called Layoff Susie Orman, 91 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: and it's from two thousand seven, and it basically, you know, 92 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 1: since there is this stereotype now that women spend all 93 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: their disposable income on shoes, a lot of financial analysts 94 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,160 Speaker 1: will take the approach with women with very trivial advice 95 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: like cut your law tete, or don't buy shoes or 96 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 1: you know, things that are kind of demeaning when you 97 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 1: think about it, because here we are two good examples 98 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: of women who aren't spending money on shoes. So if 99 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 1: you are treating all women is this block of people 100 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 1: who spend all this money on clothes, then are you 101 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:26,359 Speaker 1: really providing them meaningful financial advice? Right? I consider that 102 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:30,239 Speaker 1: kind of advice insulting. Tell me how to actually save 103 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: up a little bit of a nest egg because I 104 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: make my coffee at home, Susie. So just for an 105 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:40,279 Speaker 1: idea though, of why these financial analysts might need to 106 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,840 Speaker 1: take a different tech is that credit card debt. Annual 107 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: credit card debt for single women in two thousand four 108 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: was nine dollars compared to two thousand dollars for single men. 109 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: That's not a huge gap, but it's still not the 110 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: monumental gap that you might expect. Right, women are getting 111 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,280 Speaker 1: a very bad rap because you know, the financial situations 112 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: about the same. Now, let's take clothing. Women do spend 113 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: a lot of money every year on close one thousand 114 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 1: dollars one thousand, sixty nine dollars accordin to the Bureau 115 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: of Labor Statistics. Guess how much men spend Only two 116 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: forty six dollars less than that. I mean, that's that's 117 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 1: not that much. And they're spending more money on things 118 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 1: like car ownership, which is eight hundred forty six dollars 119 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 1: more than women. Single women eating out, So yes, those 120 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:29,160 Speaker 1: dinners might might play a factor. Alcoholic drinks two and 121 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: eighty dollars more a year in booze, yeah, among the guys, 122 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 1: and then they can make arguments like, oh I'm bigger, 123 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 1: it takes me more more to get drunk, or maybe 124 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: once again, single men are buying some single women or 125 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,720 Speaker 1: men drinks. So again, all this is just to say 126 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: that women don't need to be singled out for poor 127 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,720 Speaker 1: spending habits. But I think that's also these statistics from 128 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: Bureau of Labor Statistics Consumer Expended your Survey, I think 129 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: also highlight the different ways that men and women spend 130 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,679 Speaker 1: money differently. It might not be that women are these 131 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 1: maniacal shop a holics that pop culture portrays us as, 132 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 1: but we're simply spending our money differently than men, at 133 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: least according to an article from bank Rate by j McDonald. 134 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: And this kind of goes back to some a little 135 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: bit of evolutionary biology, a little bit of finance. It's 136 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 1: kind of a combination of my least favorite things in life. 137 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 1: We've got so much to talk about with evolution. Yes, Somali, 138 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: whyn't why don't you? Why don't you dive right in? Well, 139 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna throw out a word at you, Kristen nurture, 140 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: because women are nurturers. According to evolutionary biology. Then we 141 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: have to use money to nurture both ourselves and the 142 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: ones around us. We create a lifestyle with our money. 143 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 1: So basically, women are not forward thinkers with their money. 144 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: They're just thinking of what looks good right now, what 145 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: is in season that we need to spend money on now. Men, 146 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: on the other hand, are supposedly trained to provide, you know, 147 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: they're the hunters and the gatherers coming back to provide 148 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 1: for the women folk, and so they view money as 149 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 1: something that they need to accumulate for future value. Right 150 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: And this according to one article, not the banquet one 151 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: but a journal, but an article that was published in 152 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: the Journal of Social Evolutionary and Cultural Psychology, all of 153 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 1: this can affect our mall shopping styles, and knowing that 154 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: men just need to have money to fix things will 155 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,719 Speaker 1: totally affect how a couple shop together. Let's go back 156 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,839 Speaker 1: to this idea that women are nurturing and taking care 157 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: of the young. This is why, apparently, according to some, 158 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: women like to go and browse everything at the mall 159 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,559 Speaker 1: because back in the good old olden days, they had 160 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 1: to go out and browse for berries and food that 161 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: was good for the young and if you bought the 162 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 1: wrong thing, your kid was going to die. And so 163 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 1: that's why we've got to take so much time to 164 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: decide which top we're going to buy, because it's an 165 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,960 Speaker 1: evolution starring urge coming out to do the right thing. Now. Men, 166 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,560 Speaker 1: on the other hand, when they left their huts, they 167 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: already knew what kind of animal they wanted to kill 168 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 1: and eat that day. So that's why when my dad 169 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 1: walks into a story, he likes to say that he 170 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 1: sees it, kills it, bags it, and takes it home. 171 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 1: And that's how men shop. Yeah, apparently it's men. Some 172 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 1: men were drawing a huge stereotypes and going back to evolution. 173 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 1: I'm not going to name names, but I have known 174 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: some men who are bigger shoppers than I. But let's 175 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 1: let's go with general stereotypes because we love it. We 176 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 1: love it uh that they're just going back to their 177 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: hunter gather roots. They can't be away too long because 178 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: that will expose their nest to weakness. They do have 179 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 1: to bag it and get home and set it up 180 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:49,319 Speaker 1: for us. Yes, so in evolutionary terms, that explains differences 181 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: between men's and women's shopping styles. Well, do you buy it? All. 182 00:09:55,320 --> 00:10:00,599 Speaker 1: You know what, I don't consider any discussion fully complete 183 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 1: until we've talked about how menstruation affects something. Well, Molly, 184 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 1: you are in luck, thank god, thanks to an article 185 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: in the BBC discussing a study from Professor Karen Pine 186 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: about how menstruation affects women's shopping habits. Basically, she found 187 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 1: that two thirds of women's surveyed reported that in the 188 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: later stages of their menstrual cycle a k a. The 189 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: luteal phase, they went on an impulse shopping trip. Right, 190 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: So she pulled all these women and basically, if you 191 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: were in your luteal phase these ten days before your 192 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 1: periods starts, you were more likely to buy something on impulse. 193 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: And half of those women who were in that stage 194 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: said they overspent by more than twenty five pounds, some 195 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: overspent by more than two d fifty pounds and it 196 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 1: was also often followed by a feeling of guilt later. 197 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: But this is all because these fluctuations and hormones will 198 00:10:55,480 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: affect parts of our brains linked to emotions and inhibitory controls, 199 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: So you kind of just lose control of yourself and 200 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:07,199 Speaker 1: have to go buy things. And because you know periods 201 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: are tied with fertility, and the researcher hazarded a guess 202 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,680 Speaker 1: that because women well, I mean, she was citing other 203 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: research that at certain times dur our menstro cycle, women 204 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,079 Speaker 1: are likely to step up their fashion game a little bit, 205 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 1: specifically when we are ovulating right, a process called adornment. 206 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: So they make this argument that a woman needs to 207 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 1: buy herself a little something pretty, a little bit of 208 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: bling to attract males to her because going back to evolution, 209 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 1: we all want to have babies. So now we've come 210 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 1: up with two of my least favorite rationales for women's 211 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: behavior Kristen, hormones and evolution. Yes, um, but like we said, 212 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:53,440 Speaker 1: there's really just not that big a difference between men 213 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: and women. Yeah, because, um, men also will tend to 214 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 1: do this kind of impulse shopping as well. But a 215 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 1: lot of times, according to bank Rate, they're not going 216 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,200 Speaker 1: out and buying a new pair of earrings. They're going 217 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:13,239 Speaker 1: out and rationalizing the purchase of say a new iPod 218 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:18,839 Speaker 1: or a new PS three laptops, TV grills. So now 219 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 1: do you mean the teeth device, Kristen or the thing 220 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,199 Speaker 1: that can make delicious handburgers? Well, Molly, I'm not even 221 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,079 Speaker 1: gonna go into hell what you still have been calling 222 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: a grill a teeth device, but I would asward to 223 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 1: guess and both may both. You know. Now, let's return 224 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 1: to recession spending, because we mentioned this earlier and we 225 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,640 Speaker 1: promised we'd return to it, so we shall. You might. 226 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 1: There was one article in Slate because we you know, 227 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: we started off with Carrie Bradshaw and Sex in the City, 228 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 1: and it was talking about how when the movie came out, 229 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 1: we were in the midst of our session and so 230 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,760 Speaker 1: it was a lot harder for these women to live 231 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,559 Speaker 1: the Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle that was on display in the film. 232 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,680 Speaker 1: That they were less likely to see things in the 233 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: movie and go out and buy them because we were 234 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 1: in a recession. It just wasn't affordable anymore. It actually, 235 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 1: what we found acquiring to Live Science was that the 236 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 1: recession really hasn't slowed spending because many women, even when 237 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: they're worried about money and then in the midst of 238 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: our crisis, still spend or overspend, and women are likely 239 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:17,680 Speaker 1: to use depression as a reason to go shopping. Yeah, 240 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 1: and this also comes from research by Dr Pinne we 241 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: mentioned a minute ago, and yes, she found that seventy 242 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: nine percent of these women she pulled in the UK 243 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,439 Speaker 1: said that they would splurge to cheer themselves up. Now 244 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 1: of them said they would feel guilty afterward, which isn't 245 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 1: too fun. But yeah, we definitely use shopping and I 246 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,839 Speaker 1: would I would agree with this to some extent. We 247 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 1: do use shopping to pick ourselves up a little bit. 248 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 1: But again back to the thesis of this podcast, We're 249 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: not the only one. And now we're going to jump 250 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 1: to what I think is a very interesting study. Two 251 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 1: thousand six, a US study found that six percent of 252 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 1: women shops so much they're considered compulsive buyers that they 253 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,079 Speaker 1: have essentially an addiction to shopping. Guess how many men 254 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:01,680 Speaker 1: have the same addiction. Six percent women and five point 255 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: five percent men. It's equal. Yes, you guys are just 256 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: as addictive shopping as we are. You're just buying different things. 257 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 1: So let's talk a little bit about these compulsive shoppers 258 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:14,200 Speaker 1: that tend to get painted as women, but now we know, 259 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:17,320 Speaker 1: in fact are equally men and women. Compulsive shopping disorder 260 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 1: is characterized by an irresistible and senseless urge to buy goods. 261 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: According to Life Science, Yeah, and a lot of times 262 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 1: it's people who are younger and who have incomes under 263 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: fifty thousand, who have no business doing all the shopping. 264 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 1: But the addictive behavior develops a lot like just a 265 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:39,240 Speaker 1: drug addiction, because you go and buy something and it 266 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,600 Speaker 1: kicks off your dopamine reward system, and you get on 267 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: a high when you're you know, taking that bag out 268 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 1: of the mall and trying on your new stuff or 269 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 1: playing a new video game, whatever it is you have, 270 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,480 Speaker 1: and so it sets off all these opiate receptor sites 271 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,320 Speaker 1: in the brain and then you kind of have a 272 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 1: little bit of crash and you want that high again, 273 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,280 Speaker 1: so you got to go back for more. But you know, 274 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 1: it's not just you know, it's not just a what 275 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 1: would be for us, like excessive book buying followed by 276 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 1: like one thing of guilt. And they made pains to 277 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,560 Speaker 1: in one article say, it's not just overspending at Christmas, 278 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: you know, going over your budget for Christmas presents. This 279 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: is a repeated cycle of continually spending over your budget 280 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: and buying things compulsively if you just want, if you 281 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: need like one pair of shoes, and then you buy 282 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,360 Speaker 1: like seven um and then a big tip off that 283 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,680 Speaker 1: you've actually got a problem with it is hiding what 284 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:32,000 Speaker 1: you buy or the receipts. Yeah. I actually heard a 285 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 1: little tidbit on a radio morning program earlier this week 286 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 1: about a girl whose fiancee, the day before their weddings 287 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 1: set set her down to tell her that he was 288 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 1: actually a hundred and fifty thou dollars in debt because 289 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 1: he had a problem with shopping. And don't think you're 290 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: off the hook if you just you know, have the 291 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 1: guilt and take it back, because if you still have 292 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: that repeated cycle of guilt, addressing the problem, then feeling 293 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 1: bad again, so shopping more, it's still sign of a 294 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 1: problem that just even if you don't have the money 295 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,480 Speaker 1: problem because you're returning the things, you still have the 296 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 1: shopping problem. Yeah, and a lot of times this at 297 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: some point is going to affect your relationships because you're 298 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 1: probably gonna be out of cash. Maybe you're borrowing cash 299 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 1: for all these crazy purchases, or you know, maybe you 300 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 1: are in a relationship with someone and you have to 301 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: be open and honest about finances and you're dragging their 302 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: credit scores down with years. So a good way to 303 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: know if you have a normal relationship with shopping and 304 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,560 Speaker 1: you just gotta control every now and then, or if 305 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: you've got a disordered relationship with money, here are if 306 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: you um signs of a problem shopping or spending money 307 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 1: as a result of feeling angry, depressed, anxious, or lonely repeatedly, 308 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: not just you know, every now and then, having arguments 309 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: with others about one shopping habits, feeling lost without credit cards, 310 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: buying items on credit rather than with cash, describing a 311 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 1: rush or an euphoria that comes with spending, and then 312 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 1: feeling guilty, ashamed or embarrassed after sent nick spending spree 313 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: and lying about how much money was spent. Also thinking 314 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 1: obsessively about money. And these symptoms come to this courtesy 315 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 1: of web m D. Yeah, and if you think that 316 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,399 Speaker 1: you have problems, you can go actually to debtors Anonymous, 317 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,399 Speaker 1: which is twelve set program much like uh, you know, 318 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: alcoholics Anonymous or shopping addiction. And a lot of times 319 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,360 Speaker 1: when people go to credit counselors, they have an average 320 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 1: debt of seventy dollars. So I think it's that's we 321 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,320 Speaker 1: wanted to bring attention to that problem. But we don't 322 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 1: want just women and or men to think they're either 323 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: more at risk or not at risk for it. It 324 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,760 Speaker 1: happens to men and women equally. And the next time 325 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,040 Speaker 1: you give anyone gruff about spending too much time with 326 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: the ma, all know that they are not spending any 327 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:44,680 Speaker 1: more money than someone of a different gender. Yeah, let's 328 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,919 Speaker 1: bust that stereotype wide open, Molly busted. Yeah, Carrie Bradshaw, 329 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 1: I just made a fist. You are an outlier as 330 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 1: Army and Molly. Probably everyone's unique. And if you buy 331 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,359 Speaker 1: a lot of books, I'd love to hear where you 332 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,639 Speaker 1: stashed them in your house? Um, are you running of room? Molly? 333 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 1: I used to keep them on catching cabinets, and my 334 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 1: mom told me I couldn't do that anymore. Do you bake? 335 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 1: I don't bake, And that's a lot as another line 336 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,199 Speaker 1: from the Sexton City movie. And my mom elbowed me 337 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: when Carrie Bradshaw said that, because I think she recognized 338 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 1: a little too painfully her own daughter who would not bake. 339 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 1: And we just used the mund De store as a 340 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 1: slippery slope. Right now, I've got a book closet's working 341 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,359 Speaker 1: pretty well for me. I digress. I'm giving out too 342 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,840 Speaker 1: much personal information. Let's hear what other people think yeah. 343 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 1: On different topics are email, mom stuff, how stuff works 344 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 1: dot com. We love to hear what is on your mind, 345 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:35,720 Speaker 1: so shoot us an email. And speaking of which, we 346 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,080 Speaker 1: will share a couple right now. And to kick things off, Molly, 347 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:47,200 Speaker 1: I've got one here about Miss America. Alright, I've got 348 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 1: one here from Melissa, and she says, I was pretty 349 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:53,439 Speaker 1: disappointed about the way you portrayed pageants. I participated in 350 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 1: a paget my senior year in high school in large 351 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 1: part because of the scholarships that offered. I wanted to 352 00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,920 Speaker 1: go to a great college, and I knew that I'm 353 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: needed financial help getting there. The pageant seemed like a 354 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 1: good way to get any money. I wasn't what most 355 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,439 Speaker 1: people think of as a very typical pageant girl. I 356 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 1: also didn't consider myself to be particularly beautiful. But I 357 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 1: did the pageant and ended up winning, and to be honest, 358 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 1: it was pretty great, had a lot of fun, and 359 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: my self confidence was positively affected by winning. Before I 360 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,840 Speaker 1: always thought of myself as having to be the smart one, 361 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: and the pageant showed me that it was okay to 362 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,560 Speaker 1: be me and to care about how I looked. At 363 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,399 Speaker 1: the same time, plus the pageant capitalized on things that 364 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 1: I was good at, and I also really enjoyed going 365 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,919 Speaker 1: to post pageant events, which included talking to a lot 366 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,040 Speaker 1: of kids. I thought it was great to show them 367 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,159 Speaker 1: that I could be smart and attractive. Then, when I 368 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,199 Speaker 1: went to college, and even more when I entered my 369 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 1: PhD program, people saw my participation in a pasgeont as 370 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 1: a joke and something to laugh at. Well, I consider 371 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: myself to be a feminist. I think the pageant positively 372 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,199 Speaker 1: affected my identity as a woman and showed me it 373 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,919 Speaker 1: was okay to be more than a one dimensional person. 374 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 1: I feel like people focus on the negative aspects of 375 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,399 Speaker 1: pageants and don't focus on the fact that it can 376 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:02,639 Speaker 1: raise self confidence and money. I understand pageants aren't for everyone, 377 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,639 Speaker 1: and I don't advocate them for really young kids, but 378 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,320 Speaker 1: I do think that it can be a great option 379 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 1: for young women. So thank you, Melissa. All Right, and 380 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna read one from Abbey on the Disney Princess podcast, 381 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,280 Speaker 1: and she writes, I'm a woman in my early twenties 382 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,440 Speaker 1: who grew up watching mostly the Disney of the nineties, 383 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:22,360 Speaker 1: Bell Aerial, Jasmine, Pocahontas, etcetera. As I listen to your podcasts. 384 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:24,760 Speaker 1: I considered whether I've been affected by the Princesses, and 385 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,239 Speaker 1: if so, how like you. I concluded that I came 386 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,880 Speaker 1: out of my Disney Field youth relatively unscathed in all 387 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,200 Speaker 1: areas except one my singing voice. I never needed the 388 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 1: fluffy ball gown, nor have I ever compared my parents 389 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,439 Speaker 1: or social status to those of the Disney Princesses. However, 390 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 1: call me ridiculous, but if I have always felt that 391 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,359 Speaker 1: if I could only sing like one of them, I 392 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 1: would die happy. If I had a nickel for every 393 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 1: time I've belted out part of Your World or Colors 394 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 1: of the Wind, I'd be one rich lady. This is 395 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 1: coming from someone who is back in school for a 396 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 1: Master's of Music education at the age of twenty three. 397 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 1: I'm now required to take voice lessons for the first 398 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,440 Speaker 1: time in my life. Though not a single one of 399 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,640 Speaker 1: the pieces I've been assigned ought to be Sun Princess 400 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 1: style all on Disney, nor I can assure you will 401 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,359 Speaker 1: any of the fourth coming pieces, I absolutely cannot escape 402 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 1: the urge to attempt it. The truth is that would 403 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,760 Speaker 1: abandon all that correct breathing posture, support, etcetera. To sound 404 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,879 Speaker 1: like a Disney princess. Though I know I have a 405 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 1: perfectly nice sing voice, I've always been absolutely petrified to 406 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 1: seeing solo in public. A danda means I listened to 407 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,120 Speaker 1: your podcast. That's not what I do sound like. That's 408 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,560 Speaker 1: my main intubitor of a rather who I don't sound like. 409 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:26,399 Speaker 1: So a very interesting perspective on Disney princesses. Thanks Daffy, 410 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: and if you have something to say to us again, 411 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,280 Speaker 1: the email addresses mom Stuff at how stuff works dot com. 412 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,920 Speaker 1: We have a blog that we update during the week. 413 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 1: It's called how to stuff and it, along with many 414 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,320 Speaker 1: other articles that we've written and just articles we enjoy. 415 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:47,640 Speaker 1: It's all at how stuff works dot com. For more 416 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,919 Speaker 1: on this and thousands of other topics, does it how 417 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:54,400 Speaker 1: stuff works dot com. Want more house stuff works, check 418 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 1: out our blogs on the house stuff works dot com 419 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:03,439 Speaker 1: home page. Yeah, brought to you by the reinvented two 420 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,959 Speaker 1: thousand and twelve Camry. It's ready, are you