WEBVTT - Lone Wolf Dies But The Pack Survives 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:09.360 Hey, hey, hey, we're back. 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:10.760 We're black. 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:22.320 Abusu amen? 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:25.880 Drat are you hi? 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:28.560 Where are your curls? 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:32.559 I feel like you're high? Is like is being reflected 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:33.200 in your curls? 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:33.880 Not be here? 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:37.600 I blue dried, blow dried my hair yesterday. 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:38.760 It's so long now. 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:45.200 Didn't recognize me. He's just now like he's nigh. He's 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:47.120 like almost ten months. But yes, it is the part. 0:00:47.240 --> 0:00:49.120 This is the time when it's like stranger danger. And 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:53.120 also he recognizes faces and stuff and the way that 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:56.240 he just looked at me like I was a stranger 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:58.880 picking him up at day here yesterday. It was pretty sad, 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:01.000 you know, right in his face. 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:04.640 He's just like did you see like the you see 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:06.360 the clips where like the babies where the dad shave 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:07.920 off their beard and their mustache. 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:10.759 That's exactly what the effects must be for him, because 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:12.200 I didn't even have it down. I just had it 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:14.640 like it's back all the way and like a slip pony. 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:21.200 He's like, anyway, I've really been trying to like get 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:25.280 my energy up, but today is just not it. So 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:27.959 but I'm going to push through. I'm going to push through, 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:34.560 come through. Queens are not thanks, but yeah, life is 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:39.560 just lifing so hard and it's very adult and it's 0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:46.319 very much not backing down. So that's all just a 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:50.400 lot of shit going on. I'm heading to Georgia again tomorrow, okay, 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:55.200 because my dad. I'm gonna go visit him. The way, 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:58.120 I could probably have bought like a couple of European 0:01:58.200 --> 0:02:03.160 vacations for the amount of airfare just spend going to Georgia. 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:07.640 But yeah, I'm taking my I'm taking the big kid 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:13.840 taking real Okay, okay, but yeah, and I'm like behind 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:17.480 on taxes and stuff like a bummer over here. I 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:19.280 don't want Are you an escorp? 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:23.079 Is many money makers? Is that an escort? Oh? Yeah? 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:25.360 Because that the escorp taxes wild do last Friday? 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:29.000 Mm hmm, well I already followed an extension for that 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:29.520 all that. 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:32.440 Okay, but did you make a payment because have you 0:02:32.440 --> 0:02:33.280 been paying quarterly? 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:38.079 And I want to talk about a tiffany, I mean, 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:41.160 you know, because well man, they didn't have to talk 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:43.480 about it, but if just so you know, we're talking 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:46.480 about that personal taxes. 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:49.359 The do date is April were like fifteen fourteenth. I 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:52.280 can't remember one of them Aprils days. You know, we 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:54.480 all have tax Day, but if you have an escorp, 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:58.520 which is a type of business entity also a type 0:02:58.560 --> 0:03:01.160 of way that your company is tax I suspect man. 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:07.239 These companies set up like me, which is the underlying companies. Yeah, 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:09.560 but the way we're tax is an es corp, which 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:13.600 means is if you are a like for example, Brown 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:17.400 Ambition is not an escorp, it is an LLC which 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:20.080 is the underlying company, and it's a partnership. So that 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:22.960 just means it's just me and many in it and 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:28.160 we pay taxes differently. But with an es corp, you 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:32.480 are actually not an employee. You are an employee of 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:34.560 your business once you become an escorp. So if you 0:03:34.600 --> 0:03:38.200 have a sole proprietorship or you have a partnership, then 0:03:38.240 --> 0:03:41.200 you basically they consider you self employed and then there's 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:43.800 self employment taxes that will come in to play. Once 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:46.280 you become an es corp or c corp. They say no, no, no, 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.440 you're not self employed. You're an employee of that company. 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:52.480 And typically you get to es corp, you start to 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:54.600 look at escorp for one. When you get to about 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:57.320 six figures or more a business, you start to consider 0:03:57.360 --> 0:04:00.520 doing an escorp because the self employment tax is not 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:03.240 to pay it. It's not worth it at that level 0:04:03.320 --> 0:04:05.160 of income. So you're like, oh, maybe I'll supposed to 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.640 an escort now so I can be an employee of 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:10.520 my business. The thing is, because you're still in that LLC, 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.600 what happens is is that the money it's a pass 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:18.800 through entity. So what that means is that your business 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:20.680 makes money. Let's just say your business makes one hundred 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:24.680 thousand wooho. Then your business makes a hundred, but then 0:04:24.800 --> 0:04:28.160 spends one hundred thousand dollars in order to I mean 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:31.440 spends say fifty thousand in order to navigate business. That's 0:04:31.440 --> 0:04:35.680 how much payroll, your website, all that stuff is fifty thousand. 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:38.360 And let's just say you say I want to keep 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:41.000 the other fifty in the business for next year because 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:44.320 I have some big projects. The government says, that's cute, 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:46.800 But just so you know, that fifty that you didn't 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:49.120 spend on business passes. 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:50.280 Through to your personal taxes. 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:53.440 So whether you take the money out or not, you're 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:55.039 gonna have to pay fifty thousand dollars. You have to 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:56.799 going to have to pay taxes on the fifty thousand 0:04:57.120 --> 0:05:00.480 because whatever's left over in the business passes through onto 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:02.880 you and so the way my business is set up, 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:07.360 and I suspect most peoples is that whatever the let's 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:10.080 just say the taxes on the fifty is twenty thousand dollars, 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:13.320 my business will give me the twenty thousand. So if 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:16.200 I keep fifty thousand in the business, the business will 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:18.000 have to give me twenty of that fifty because the 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:20.159 government wants their taxes, and it'll keep the thirty to 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:23.000 do whatever work. Because even though I didn't take it, 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:25.760 it wasn't spent, so taxes need to be paid on it. 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:28.920 And so that's what last Friday, I can't remember what 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:31.400 eevery day of the week that was last Friday. 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:35.200 Es Corp taxes were due. That means you're supposed to. 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.280 Have filed them, which you could certainly file an extension, 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:39.520 but they don't give you an extension on payment, so 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:42.400 you have to have paid something. Now, if you're doing 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:46.599 the es Corp right, you're paying quarterly. That means every 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:49.840 quarter you're making a payment. So even so I didn't 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:52.480 have anything I owed on Friday because every quarter I've 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:53.480 been making my payment. 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:55.480 So that way, this is kind of like the wrap 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:56.880 it up. It was like, oh, Tiffany, well, you know 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:58.240 what you've been paying every quarter. You good. 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:02.480 Let's as far as business girlies who listen to understand, 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:05.960 because the truth of the matter is most businesses that 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:08.880 go under or have a hard time, it's really like 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:11.200 the back end stuff that kind of get you, not 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:11.719 that you're. 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:13.360 Not good at cooking or baking or. 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:18.120 I'm sorry, I didn't want. 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:20.560 To talk about it already talking about to you. 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:24.320 I was telling the girl, but period, I don't. I 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:29.200 was sorry about it, and that concludes. 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:31.279 That conclude the business portion. 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:35.240 I just wanted to I didn't want the girl to 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:36.919 be like, I don't know what these things mean. 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:43.080 The teacher. I'm sorry, all right, we're gonna focus here, Okay, 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:44.000 I'm just kidding. 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:47.680 I care about the girl. I'm sorry. I just hate 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:49.640 when I can't give anything on the other side of 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.279 a conversation. And you know better, Okay. 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:54.680 I mean I think you did. Which is which is real? 0:06:54.800 --> 0:06:57.960 Which is? Girl? You know you already know my tax issues. 0:06:58.000 --> 0:07:00.080 Girl, I made so many tax mistakes it costs me. 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:04.400 Remember I told you I probably paid about seven figures 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:05.000 in oops. 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:07.480 I made a mistake again, tax mistakes because. 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:08.840 There was two or three years in a row when 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:11.679 the way we were doing taxes was incorrect and wrong, 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:15.760 and as a result, up until I think twenty twenty two, 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:19.280 I finally got my last final you know, you get 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:21.080 out of jail free, like, and it was a two 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:24.440 hundred and fifty thousand dollars bill and almost broke my soul, 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:27.200 but we finally paid it, and I think we're finally 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:27.840 on the up and up. 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:28.440 So I just sad. 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:32.040 All that to say is that, you know, there isn't 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:35.680 a mistake I ain't made, And the reason why I 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:38.160 had to learn is because I made every mistake possible, 0:07:38.600 --> 0:07:40.600 you know, And so I just don't want the girls 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:42.880 to have to make those mistakes because it was really, really, 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:48.160 really costly and stressful. But you you know, you're living, 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:52.000 you learn, and you hope you live to see another day. Hey, 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:54.440 ba fan, we're gonna take a quick break and we'll 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:55.800 be right back. 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:01.200 Oh if we want to talk about something, you want 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:02.160 to talk about the White House? 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:09.960 Sound right? You call Mary called me yesterday? Wait what 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:10.640 were you calling me for? 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:11.360 Just to say. 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:17.920 Hey, yeah, no, not on a Monday. Oh It's like 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:20.080 yeah morning. It was like, yeah, I was dropping off 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:22.200 the kiddos. I was like I usually picture you on 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:23.200 a little walkie walk. 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:25.680 Oh yeah, yeah, day yeah. 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:27.680 So Mandy called me, but you weren't on a little 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:31.760 walk I forgot, but you just told me. Duh no no, 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:35.239 But I'm like so excited, tell me about everything. 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.520 So when Mandy called me, I was literally running leak 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:40.440 because I was getting dressed to go back to the 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:45.360 White House. As you know, it's March's International, well Women's 0:08:45.400 --> 0:08:49.000 history month, that's what March is. I believe March eighth 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:52.679 is International Women's Day like But anyway, so I got 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:56.200 invited back to the White House for a reception and 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:58.440 there were I don't know, at least one hundred, maybe 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:01.959 two hundred women from all over the country, all these 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:06.480 different industries, doctors, attorneys, nonprofit workers. It was amazing. It 0:09:06.520 --> 0:09:08.560 was just a room full of just amazing women. And 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:11.160 everybody was so nice. You know, sometimes you go in 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:13.240 these rooms and everybody's so important and the CEO of 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:15.079 this or whatever, and they don't speak. That was not 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:18.000 the case. Everyone was so nice. It was a super 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:22.240 diverse group. Some women were disabled, black, brown, Asian, every 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:25.840 type of woman, young, like older, just everything. 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:28.719 And so they invited us one to. 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:31.320 Network with each other, which was really awesome that these 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:33.440 little orders. I was like the White House was be 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:39.360 light on the food. So many people and then also 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:40.800 too we got to hear. 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:42.600 It wasn't like a sit down thing. It was like 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:45.000 I did see your stories this time. 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:46.960 Yes, No, it wasn't a sit down thing. It was 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:52.960 so for example, Kamala or you know, first our vice president, 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:56.520 she spoke, as did Maria Shriver, who's a big woman's advocate. 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.160 The President was there as well, and he spoke as 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:03.880 well as doctor Joe Biden as she spoke to, which 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:04.880 is really cool to see them all. 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:05.960 I've never seen a crew there. 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:06.400 Yeah. 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:07.000 Right. 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:09.440 So the reason why they were all there, they kind 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:12.720 of gathered us is because the President just. 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:15.320 Signed let me find what it was. He just signed. 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:20.360 It wasn't into law, but he signed the most comprehensive 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:23.080 let me see what was it march. 0:10:24.160 --> 0:10:27.320 If it wasn't a Family Paid Leave and Childcare Act, 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:27.920 I don't. 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:31.719 Know, you know, it was a woman's let me see. 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:35.920 So I'm looking at the White House dot gov. He 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:40.520 signed an executive Order on Advancing Women's Health Research and Innovation. 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:43.400 So there are a lot of doctors in the room, 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:46.920 and so it is the largest executive order. So he 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:49.800 talked about like that and many of us know this, 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:55.800 but women suffer from so many health ailments that are 0:10:56.000 --> 0:11:01.200 just like doctors ignore, especially black and brow women. Like 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:05.160 the mortality rates for black women when it comes to 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:08.360 giving birth are just astronomical in comparison to anybody else. 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:10.240 I remember, do you remember did you ever see that 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:13.280 documentary with Serena Williams talks about. 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:16.880 Yes, she had pulmonary embolisms, yes, while giving birth, and 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:17.720 they were just like. 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:23.160 She almost died, yes, but she knew her body and 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:24.120 she was like, yeah, I'm not going home. 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:24.720 I need an MRI. 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:29.480 They're like, oh, whiney, whitey, black lady, Serena the Williams, 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:31.240 and so she insisted. 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:32.840 And show enough. They're like, hey, I think I see 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:33.720 a black clott girl. 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:35.280 If you had gone home, you would have d You 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:37.360 would have be d Are you are you freaking getting me? 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:37.840 Serena. 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:41.880 Maria Shriver shared a story how her mother, who was 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:48.760 the President Kennedy's sister, John F. Kennedy, his Eunice, suffered 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:54.559 from gut issues, all these issues, and she was really 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:56.760 having a hard time. So she really pushed her brother 0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:00.880 to uh to try to get legislation has to help 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:03.080 women with whatever their health ailment is what they were 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:06.920 struggling with, and her doctors meanwhile, this is there the 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:10.160 sitting president's sister, and they're like, maybe you need to rask, 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.120 maybe you need to lie down. So if the president's 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:17.360 sister could not get adequate health care, like that's crazy, 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:21.120 it's Serena Williams is ignored. And so that's what this 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:26.600 executive order aims to remedy. It's about women's health and 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:30.120 research and innovation. And they talked everything about like endometriosis 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:32.040 and how it affects black and brown women in the higher 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:35.960 levels than any other population. Talked about that most studies 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:39.120 that are done now are done on men. They literally 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:43.079 did this study MIAs Drivers shared that where women. They 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:46.520 noticed that when women are going through menopause, there's an 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:49.280 uptick in them having heart attacks. And they said, wow, 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:53.080 so there, maybe it's tied to estrogen, Like why men 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:53.840 or why. 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:54.480 Heart attacks happen. 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.679 Let's do a study of what happened, what happens when 0:12:57.800 --> 0:13:00.640 estrogen levels drop? And it was like, I think they said, 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:02.559 like fourteen hundred participants in the. 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:03.600 Study, not one woman. 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:08.360 So you're doing estrogen study and no women and like 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.800 same thing, like you know a woman when you're having 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:13.560 a heart attack, Like the symptoms that they tell you 0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:15.240 to look out for, those are men's symptoms. 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:16.480 We don't have those symptoms. 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:21.360 You know, when you are struggling with mental health, like 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:25.719 young girls who have ADHD or who oh, what is 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:27.880 the one where you have trouble reading? Dyslexia? It looks 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:31.439 different in girls, but the symptoms that they look out 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:33.800 for are attributed to boys, and so we are left 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.760 behind when it comes to health research. And this executive 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:40.280 order would I can't remember how many billions of dollars 0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:46.400 it would allocate toward the expansion of like of innovation 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:51.199 and what did I say, I'm talking too and research 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:53.640 on women's health. So that part I thought this was 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:57.320 really great. So I'm not really sure what executive order means. 0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:59.640 By being honest, I'm like, it is it a lah anna? 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:01.959 So I'm a executive order. 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:04.640 I mean that's the thing though, is that like Congress 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:07.240 holds the purse strings. So it could just be you know, 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:09.920 these holidays, the president's always like doing symbolic shit. 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:11.199 Yes, like. 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:16.240 To like say he was doing symbolic shit. I don't know. 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:21.880 I'm a little like pessimistic about lots of stuff. I mean, 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:28.520 I think I feel like if we're not if we're 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:33.920 not focusing on I mean that I'm sure, yes it's important, 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:36.560 it's super important, but I'm just like, where is the 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:44.400 ceasefire and Gaza? And it makes me so I just 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.960 don't know, I just you know, it makes me so 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:50.520 feel so powerless and so sad. I'm just like human's 0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:55.920 capacity to just inflict pain and torture on one another, 0:14:56.040 --> 0:15:00.120 and it's just like and the world spins off and 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:06.680 everything seems so dark and twisty, and it is like 0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:08.680 everything there is so much, there is a lot of 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:10.840 good and all of that. But I think I'm just 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:14.560 in one of those spaces, you know, where like the 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:17.200 fog is descending, like the fog, you know what I mean. 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:18.560 I've talked about my fog before. 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:19.440 I'm going a fog. 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:24.040 I'm going to fog And everything seems very sad, and 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:27.920 everything is very sad, and everything is scary, and there's 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:30.960 like it's the kind of thing where it just makes 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.280 me want to crawl inside of my own body and 0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:37.320 just like not poke my head up, which is really 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:40.040 hard when we do this stuff that we do right now. 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:44.280 But like even just thinking about healthcare and like everything 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:47.800 going on with my dad lately, I don't like to 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:50.960 talk I don't want to talk about too much about 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:53.680 like the specific stuff going on with him. But he 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:56.720 was in the hospital for several weeks and it was 0:15:57.480 --> 0:16:01.320 he had a huge operation and it was I think 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:05.600 one of the hardest things about having my dad in 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:08.560 a hospital setting is that he is like the textbook 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:11.000 picture of someone who would be probably neglected in a 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:16.640 healthcare setting typically when you think about his age, his race, 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:24.360 in his orneriness, like he's not you know, And it's 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:28.040 sad to think that, like you think you have to, like, 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:31.320 you know, worry about that. But I went in there, 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:33.560 like I was spending nights in the hospital just to 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:38.880 make sure that I could be the like his publicist, like, oh, hello, yes, 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:41.200 this is my father. Hear all the exciting here, does 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:43.040 all the great things about him that you should know, 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:45.240 so that you give a damn during this like twelve 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:49.240 hour shift and you don't just like you know, like, 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:51.640 you know, we had a nurse who kept giving him 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:58.239 really strong like opioids even though he hadn't asked for them, 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:02.680 and it was very much like we're in the ICU, 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:04.359 I just want this patient to go to sleep, Like 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:07.560 it was that kind of vibe and like I just 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:09.920 saw and like the stress of it all. I think 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:13.480 what's happening is that the processing, like the you know, 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:16.560 like you were just in it. Yeah, but the processing 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:21.720 I think is all right now. And and I think 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:25.000 at the same time, there's part of me that's like, oh, 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:28.200 shut up. People have way worse going on, and people 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:32.840 have sick parents in the hospital and like sick babies 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:35.800 and all that going on. 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:40.000 But it was two things can be true, Mandy, A 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:42.840 jillion things can be true, yeah, at the same time, 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:46.560 meaning that like somebody could have a sick baby and 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:51.920 also not or and also you're worried about your dad, 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:56.680 and rightfully so it doesn't diminish that, you know, even 0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:57.160 with like. 0:17:57.119 --> 0:17:59.120 There's there were three of us, my brother, my sister, 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:01.439 and I and even then it still felt like there 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:03.680 were things that happened that we're not I think we 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:08.080 were just like really we were so obsessed with trying 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:11.320 to control and be not control in the sense that 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:14.600 like take decisions away from him, but like understand everything 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:17.959 and be sure we were in the room and available 0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:20.520 and like, you know, make sure we were on speakerphone 0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:22.639 if a doctor walked in, and like checking on his 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:25.439 charts online and making sure all that stuff is squared 0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:27.399 away and we're all in. We're in three different states, 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:31.439 mind you, and getting all to Georgia and all that stuff, 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:39.399 and like it still feels like it still feels like 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:41.679 we're not entirely out of the woods. And it's not 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:45.920 even it's just gonna, yeah, there's more like it's gonna 0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:48.640 be an ongoing kind of thing. But if there's one 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:52.120 I'll stop this like train that I'm on. But if 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:54.480 there's one thing that I keep thinking about, like what's 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:57.000 a lesson that I've learned when it comes to health. 0:18:57.080 --> 0:19:01.200 And I really like to your point about knowing your 0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:04.160 symptoms and knowing your body and advocating. I've always heard 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:07.560 that advocate for yourself, advocate for yourself, but I feel 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:10.399 like that's almost too general. The thing to say to people. 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:14.320 What I would say is, don't trust the person in 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:17.720 the room, like Bible, like the person who's in the room, 0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:21.880 because like, for example, my dad would be seen by 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:28.000 maybe like eight specialists a day. I'm not even exaggerating, 0:19:28.080 --> 0:19:31.080 like eight specific healthcare people a day during their shift, 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:32.680 and then a new shift would start and they would 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:38.119 come in again and be like respiratory, cardio, pulmonology, nephrology, 0:19:39.600 --> 0:19:44.080 ot PT, like all these different people the general provider 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:48.440 like look and they'd all make comments like oh this, 0:19:48.600 --> 0:19:50.600 oh that, here's what you can expect. Yeah, I think 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:54.560 he needs XYZ, and we would be like jerked in 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:57.280 all these different like emotions and directions. Well, the person 0:19:57.280 --> 0:19:59.640 who came in earlier just said this thing, and they're 0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:01.919 like wh at because they don't even like speak to 0:20:01.920 --> 0:20:03.879 one another that often, you know, they're all like on 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:09.240 their own different silos. So I think I could have 0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:11.479 saved some We could have saved like probably some stress 0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:15.359 and like some worrying if we had just been like, Okay, 0:20:15.400 --> 0:20:17.359 so this is what this person is saying based on 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:21.080 like the last three minutes they spent in his room. 0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:24.600 We have to sort of like connect all the dots 0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:28.640 together and just understand that things can change. And even 0:20:28.680 --> 0:20:30.520 though you think you know for sure what the next 0:20:30.560 --> 0:20:32.640 like day is going to look like, or what recovery 0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:34.920 will look like and all of that, like, even then 0:20:35.000 --> 0:20:37.200 it can change and it's always going to be changing, 0:20:37.560 --> 0:20:43.119 and keep asking asking the same questions again, questions of 0:20:43.160 --> 0:20:45.439 different people. Force them to talk to each other if 0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:49.080 you have to, because yeah, a lot of them, especially 0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:51.280 in a hospital, they're just coming in and out and 0:20:51.400 --> 0:20:55.720 they don't have even that they have their whole chart 0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:58.920 in front of them. They don't spend time reading everything 0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:00.840 before they come into their they don't have the time 0:21:00.880 --> 0:21:05.840 at shortages and all that. So I feel like, for 0:21:05.960 --> 0:21:08.119 one hundred percent, if you're going to be in a 0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:13.119 hospital setting, call anyone, anyone, a neighbor even you know, 0:21:14.680 --> 0:21:18.120 to be there with you to help ask those questions. 0:21:18.119 --> 0:21:20.720