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Speaker 1: Thank you for you're coming back. Part two is underway.

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Speaker 1: I read you said you're a pro gatekeeper. What is gatekeeper?

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Speaker 2: I'm pro gatekeeping? Oh, I'm pro gate keeping. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Why do you do that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because somebody, somebody has to stop the nonsense. Somebody

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Speaker 2: has to stop the nonsense. And I don't mean gatekeeping

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Speaker 2: on some like.

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Speaker 1: All right, I'll give you a perfect example.

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Speaker 2: Me wanting to be a commentator in sports doing sports journalism.

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Speaker 2: You know how many athletes play sports grated sports? Can't

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Speaker 2: articulate it? Yeah, tons, growing up, I had to watch

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Speaker 2: them get jobs that somebody like me who could really

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Speaker 2: articulate it will never get an opportunity that is correct

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Speaker 2: to get. That's where gatekeeping has to happen. It's like, hey, bro,

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Speaker 2: I know you ran for two thousand yards in the season,

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Speaker 2: but you can't do this. You can't do this.

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Speaker 1: If we go to showing you, they're going to at

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Speaker 1: least get a chance. Whether they succeed or fail, that's

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Speaker 1: going to be their own. But they're definitely getting a chance.

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Speaker 2: But you see what I'm saying, and it's just like it,

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Speaker 2: and it really takes away how special people like you are,

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Speaker 2: how Terry Bradshaw has been able to do it right.

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Speaker 1: Like, you know, can't talk when that real light comes on.

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Speaker 1: Everybody can Everybody can't hold a thought.

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Speaker 2: So that's the only that's the thing about gatekeeping right

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Speaker 2: where it's just like, hey man, I get it. So

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Speaker 2: here here's the story. How about this Will Smith did

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Speaker 2: King Richard? I auditioned for King Richard. They sought out

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Speaker 2: for me to audition for it. I'm touring the touring comedy.

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Speaker 2: I ain't been going to acting class, none of that.

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Speaker 2: And I'm getting the same opportunity as a dude who

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Speaker 2: went to school four years doing theater in college. This

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Speaker 2: dude is done Hamlet. I can't even read the script

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Speaker 2: for real. We getting the same opportunity. Somebody got to say, nah,

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Speaker 2: he can't come in here. It ain't just gatekeeping to

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Speaker 2: my benefit. You need to keep me out of spaces.

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Speaker 2: I ain't got no I you see what I'm saying. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: when I sat there and listened to that man's audition,

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Speaker 2: I was like, why am I here? We had to

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Speaker 2: pretend like it was the part where Richard came back

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Speaker 2: to the game with the gun and was like, you know,

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Speaker 2: turning the tables. I thought a dude was I thought

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Speaker 2: they really pulled a gun out on this man on

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Speaker 2: the other side. I'm on the other side of the door,

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Speaker 2: like what they doing back there? He came out smiling

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Speaker 2: and I was like, you were active. I walked in

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Speaker 2: and they were like, hey, how you doing. I was like, Hey,

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Speaker 2: that's the guy I'm gonna do. I'm gonna read, but

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Speaker 2: that's the guy. Don't mess this up, guys, I want

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Speaker 2: to see the version of the movie with that again.

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Speaker 2: But I'm Ryan Davis, let's do it. And they're like,

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Speaker 2: all right, the gun's on you. I'm like whoo And

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Speaker 2: that was my best.

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Speaker 1: Where are you on? Joke stealing? Right? Joke stealing is awful?

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Speaker 2: But this is the funny part about joke stealing is

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Speaker 2: people need to understand what joke stealing actually is. Like

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Speaker 2: people don't dig enough in their writing and they'll talk

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Speaker 2: about something surface level and they'll believe other people couldn't

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Speaker 2: have thought of this, which is bs.

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Speaker 1: Okay, cause all of you guys got creative mind.

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Speaker 2: You think that out of the thousands of people who

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Speaker 2: are paying attention to this thing, nobody else is thinking

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Speaker 2: of this. But like Eric Aboudadou said, I'm an artist

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Speaker 2: and I'm sensitive about my shit. The idea of somebody

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Speaker 2: taking something, because all of them are like babies. Somebody

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Speaker 2: is taking our baby from us. But at the same time,

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Speaker 2: if I go, yeah, man, I fell asleep and my

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Speaker 2: girl reached over me while I was sleep, uh to

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Speaker 2: grab my phone and I could feel her breath on

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Speaker 2: my face and woke me up. You think nobody else? Nobody?

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Speaker 1: Man, You hear him say breath on the face.

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Speaker 2: That was all. Come on, man, you know that's mine.

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Speaker 2: Breath on the face, that's mine. And I'm like, and

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Speaker 2: I hate being in those situations. Gonna be looking at

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Speaker 2: him like, really, you think, breath on the face, that's you,

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Speaker 2: that's you.

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Speaker 1: Nobody else could ever.

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Speaker 2: So when it comes to joke still in, I challenge

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Speaker 2: comedians to write the thing where you see.

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Speaker 1: It and everybody knows your joke.

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Speaker 2: Like if you watch My special, some people like will

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Speaker 2: look at My Special and be like, man, he's long winded. Man,

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Speaker 2: his setups are long. It's to prevent stealing. You really

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Speaker 2: gotta steal my joke. To steal it, that's the work

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Speaker 2: you gotta do. And there's nothing wrong with basic observational humor.

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Speaker 2: Just understand at basic observation, you're not the only person

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Speaker 2: with eyes. Yes, you're not the only person with eyes.

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Speaker 2: But I've been accused of the joke stealing. Really, yeah, have.

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Speaker 1: I ever stolen?

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Speaker 2: Yes, subconsciously because I because.

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Speaker 1: I uh, but the accusation was correct.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, I've never stolen from anybody I was

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Speaker 2: accused of. I thought myself, Oh, okay, yeah, I was

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Speaker 2: watching Wanda Sykes I'm Gonna be Me, and I was

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Speaker 2: watching it. Yeah, I was watching that. She was in

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Speaker 2: the middle of a joke. I said, Oh, by god,

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Speaker 2: she not gonna say it. She's gonna say it. Oh

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Speaker 2: my god. I didn't think of this. I didn't think

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Speaker 2: of this. It's in the back of my subconscious And

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Speaker 2: then she said the joke. I was like, yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: not mine. It's not mine. So that's why a lot

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Speaker 2: of comedians won't watch other comedians.

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Speaker 1: No, I can't understand that, yeah, because.

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Speaker 2: It can get But in my defense, like it was

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Speaker 2: just on a rent. It wasn't like I wrote it

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Speaker 2: down and thought it was mine. I was talking about

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Speaker 2: something and then I said this thing, and that was

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Speaker 2: really funny at the moment, and so it wasn't something

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Speaker 2: I was.

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Speaker 1: Telling over and over and over again.

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Speaker 2: I said it one time in my entire life, right,

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Speaker 2: and people loved it. And that's why I remembered it

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Speaker 2: in that moment and I was like, oh god, it's

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Speaker 2: not even mine. But that's another reason why I don't rift.

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't do crowd work like that because crowd work

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Speaker 2: you're thinking really quick, so you're grabbing.

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Speaker 1: Things that's right there on the service level, surface level

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Speaker 1: of their brain.

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Speaker 2: How much of that is you? Not much?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: So that's why I stick to I stick to the

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Speaker 2: pin because if I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give

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Speaker 2: you me.

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Speaker 1: I gotta give you me. So.

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Speaker 2: But even in my new special, uh, my brother Chico

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Speaker 2: bin Uh we have a similar joke within that special,

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Speaker 2: and he called me straight up. It was like yeah, yeah, nah,

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Speaker 2: this was brought my attention, blah blah. He told me

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Speaker 2: not to ever bring it up or whatever because we

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Speaker 2: handle it. But I need people to understand that there

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Speaker 2: are just people in this world who are solid people.

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Speaker 2: And how you handle this situation. In this situation, you

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Speaker 2: make the phone call and you go, yeah, this is that, Hey,

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Speaker 2: this is how my bit went, this is when I

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Speaker 2: said it, and we released it BLA. He said it,

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Speaker 2: it came out before my thing came out, So he

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Speaker 2: don't like, I don't know how long he's been saying it.

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Speaker 2: He don't know how long I've been saying it. But

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Speaker 2: then we talked about it and he was like, this

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Speaker 2: is where I go with the joke, and I go

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Speaker 2: when I say it, this is where I go with

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Speaker 2: the joke. This is how I got to it. He's like,

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Speaker 2: this is how I got to it, this is where

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Speaker 2: I go with it. His joke is better than mine.

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Speaker 2: Mine is just to get to I'm actually using it

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Speaker 2: to transition into something else. Yeah, he actually goes in

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Speaker 2: depth with the joke, but we repeat it the same words.

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Speaker 2: So it got brought to his attention that I may

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Speaker 2: have stolen it and I didn't. It's just this one

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Speaker 2: piece of observation. But we're able to have a conversation,

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Speaker 2: and because we're both artists and we both respect each

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Speaker 2: other's craft, we could see and we explain how we

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Speaker 2: both got there. And it wasn't that right, you.

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Speaker 1: Know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: And I think that's important for people to do that,

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Speaker 2: and I think so many people don't do that. Just

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Speaker 2: had a conversation joke stilling, But joke stealing is a

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Speaker 2: no no, big time no no. And it can happen

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Speaker 2: to you, but when you when it's brought to.

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Speaker 1: Other acknowledge it. And Cooper, I was.

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Speaker 2: On a road with a guy and a god.

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Speaker 1: Did Little Reil's whole bit?

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Speaker 2: Did the act outs in everything?

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Speaker 1: Come on? Man?

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Speaker 2: Man, I was mind boggle. Mind you these dudes ain't

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Speaker 2: even from the same culture. A little Reil from Chicago.

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Speaker 2: He ain't even from America. Oh you went to church

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Speaker 2: in the Midwest where he did the same. And I

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Speaker 2: didn't even accuse him of it. I pulled him to

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Speaker 2: the said, hey, man, you ever seen this bit? And

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Speaker 2: I showed him the whole video and then I, uh,

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Speaker 2: he saw it like Dad, I was like, I don't

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Speaker 2: need to hear nothing. I don't need to know if

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Speaker 2: you stole it, if you lifted it, or nothing. I

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Speaker 2: need you to know that somebody else has done this

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Speaker 2: already and they have claimed it and it is theirs.

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Speaker 2: They do it exactly like this. Don't do it no more.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: I didn't run back and tell little real people out

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Speaker 2: here still in your stuff or whatever? The best thing

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Speaker 2: I could do is put an end to it right

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Speaker 2: there and let him know, Bro, that's somebody else to

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Speaker 2: put it into it right then. So many people try

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Speaker 2: to be messy and go and run. Nah, go have

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Speaker 2: a conversation with the person. Dion Cole did that. There's

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Speaker 2: another comic who's really smart, Brian Simpson. He in my special,

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Speaker 2: I do this play on a dog ownership and Brian

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Speaker 2: Simpson did one similar on on a show I think

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Speaker 2: it was. It's one of Adam Sandler's Homeboy David Spade

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Speaker 2: had a show and Brian Simpson did it. And because

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Speaker 2: Dion saw my special before a lot of people, and

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Speaker 2: Dion was like, hey, this joke is similar, I called

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Speaker 2: Brian sent it to Brian. Brian was like, but this

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Speaker 2: is the thing amongst writers Brian saw it was like,

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Speaker 2: it is not the same. I was like, I know

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Speaker 2: it's not the same, but I had to hear it

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Speaker 2: from you that if you saw it, you wouldn't go, oh,

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Speaker 2: these are he stole my joke. He is similar or

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Speaker 2: maybe it was inspired because it wasn't. When you right,

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Speaker 2: you know, you're like, nah, I understand.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The nuances it's context and nuance is so important in

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Speaker 2: joke writing that that's the part people don't necessarily get.

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Speaker 2: That's why the joke stealing thing is so like prevalent,

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Speaker 2: because people go to it from an emotional standpoint and

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Speaker 2: not an artistic standpoint.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever been starstruck?

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Speaker 2: Yes, Kelly Rowland flat line me, because boy, let me

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Speaker 2: tell you. Let me tell you, I've been. I've been starstruck,

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Speaker 2: and then I've been accused of being starstruck by somebody.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't even starstruck.

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Speaker 1: So you saw Kelly Rowler, You're like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm.

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Speaker 2: Staring Shannon and I was stuck. She got an aura.

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Speaker 2: It's orange. I don't know if you've ever seen her.

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Speaker 2: He goes around. I've seen listen. It was you can't

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Speaker 2: do that. She was not married at the time. So

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Speaker 2: this it was the Bad Boy Reunion tour of all places.

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Speaker 2: We're in LA and I'm just and this is when

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Speaker 2: like my career is really taking off. I'm backstage. I'm

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Speaker 2: talking about in La. Everybody there. Yeah, you're talking about

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Speaker 2: feeling like I ain't supposed to be there and I'm

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Speaker 2: and I'm new famous, the money ain't here yet. Yeah, Okay,

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Speaker 2: so I'm famous, dirty shoes, dirty everybody there, designer every day,

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Speaker 2: Like I'm just back there like that. Ain't supposed to

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Speaker 2: be back here, but I'm back here.

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Speaker 1: This is crazy.

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Speaker 2: And then somebody, Kelly Rowland, was having a conversation and

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Speaker 2: somebody interrupted her conversation.

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Speaker 1: Now, if you've seen Kelly rolling.

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Speaker 2: In other spaces, she don't take too kindly to people

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Speaker 2: being rude. So she checked the person, and not in

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Speaker 2: no rude a way. She just you know, hey, I'm

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Speaker 2: I'm talking about conversation and I look like, yeah, that's

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Speaker 2: how you can do that. She looked at me and

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you can see me because I

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Speaker 2: was stuck the whole She was so radiant. It just

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Speaker 2: I had never seen somebody so beautiful in my life.

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Speaker 2: I was stuck and dude like Destiny's Child was good.

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Speaker 2: That group was some of my first LaToya look, it

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Speaker 2: was like my first one of my first crushes.

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Speaker 1: Dude like nah.

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Speaker 2: And then I've been accused of being starstruck, which I

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Speaker 2: never want to do to somebody because of how I

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Speaker 2: felt so uh Tracy Morgan, Uh, I went to go

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Speaker 2: see a friend of mine, couldn't make it. The Tracy

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Speaker 2: Show gave me their tickets. I was like, I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: mind going to see Tracy Morgan. Went to go see

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Speaker 2: Tracy Morgan.

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Speaker 1: A couple of.

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Speaker 2: People on this team recognized who I was. We're talking,

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Speaker 2: I'm checking out the show or whatever. It's cool, and

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Speaker 2: Tracy Morgan is Tracy Morgan. So when I saw him,

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Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, it's Tracy Morgan. You know, that

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Speaker 2: was the end of it. You know, I respect everything

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Speaker 2: he's ever done, you know what I mean. He is

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Speaker 2: Tracy Morgan. So and then they're like, oh, come back

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Speaker 2: to the green room or whatever. I'm like, cool, We're

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Speaker 2: hanging out talking, everything's great. And then they're like, hey, Ryan,

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Speaker 2: you want to picture with Tracy? And if you ever

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Speaker 2: look at my page, I don't take pictures with no

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Speaker 2: I'm introverted.

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Speaker 1: I don't take pictures with nobody. But me guess you

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Speaker 1: said no.

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Speaker 2: As soon as I know, I didn't even get a chance.

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Speaker 2: They said, Ryan, you want a picture with Tracy. Of

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Speaker 2: course he want a picture with me. He been puppy

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Speaker 2: dog get me all night. I'm the reason he does

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Speaker 2: stand up, he do comedy because of me.

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Speaker 1: I used to do the same thing with Adie and Moreton.

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Speaker 1: I get it. I get it. You wouldn't even do

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Speaker 1: comedy if it wasn't for me. Of course he wants

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Speaker 1: a picture with me.

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Speaker 2: I was like, who, nobody has ever watched my comedy

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Speaker 2: and went, Tracy Morgan, you're not one of my influences,

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Speaker 2: big dog lord. And to be told that I idolized somebody.

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Speaker 1: You wanted a picture?

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Speaker 2: I want, Shannon, every day you do every day I do, Shannon,

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Speaker 2: I didn't know how to respond.

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Speaker 1: You took the picture and just kept it moving. I left.

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Speaker 1: You didn't take the pictures?

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Speaker 2: No, come on, no take the picture.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I love to take a picture, and I couldn't. No.

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Speaker 2: I said, all right, guys, it's been lovely. Uh, I

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Speaker 2: got to get back home. I did not take the picture.

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Speaker 1: Now, you got to keep the peace right. You just say, yeah, bro,

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Speaker 1: show you know. I wasn't disrespectful. I was like the

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Speaker 1: man said you want to take a picture with him,

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Speaker 1: and then you say no, you don't. I didn't say no.

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Speaker 2: I said, who look at the time, How long are you

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Speaker 2: gonna take a picture?

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Speaker 1: Y'all? Do it the Morgan you're taking a snapshot.

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Speaker 2: Man, I said, Oh my god, Shannon I was like, yo,

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Speaker 2: it was I didn't know how to feel in that moment,

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Speaker 2: because it's like, one, we're in your space. You ain't

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Speaker 2: have to allow me back here.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to.

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Speaker 2: It is a privilege, whether whether you're an inspiration to

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Speaker 2: me or not. It is a privilege for a young

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Speaker 2: comic trying to make his way in this game to

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Speaker 2: be in.

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Speaker 1: Your space and somebody of a legend.

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Speaker 2: Okay, no matter how I felt in that space, this

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Speaker 2: is not my time to cause a disruption in this

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Speaker 2: man's space. When I can just remove myself from this space.

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Speaker 1: Still should have took the picture. I should have. You

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Speaker 1: want to do more acting? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't know acting was fun because, like I

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Speaker 2: said that, I like to experience people's gifts. I know

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Speaker 2: how much, and I believe in gatekeeping. And I didn't

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Speaker 2: think of it as fun because I know how hard

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Speaker 2: they work. For sure, I know how hard they work.

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Speaker 2: So whatever I did is like I worked hard and

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Speaker 2: got to it, and you do it. It actually is

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Speaker 2: fun though you can have fun doing it. And I

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Speaker 2: didn't know that. I thought it was serious because how

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Speaker 2: serious I take comedy even though it's like I'm looked

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Speaker 2: at it we're clowns, but for me, it's very serious.

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Speaker 2: So so now I take acting very serious. I got

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Speaker 2: acting coach. We you know, I love her. She you

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Speaker 2: know she she showed me that I had more in

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Speaker 2: me than I and yeah, than I knew. And now

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Speaker 2: because before I wanted to write, I always wanted to

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Speaker 2: write things and not starring them because I just didn't

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Speaker 2: view myself in that way. Even in my career, the

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Speaker 2: social media stuff that I did, I never wanted to

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Speaker 2: deliver it. I wanted to write it and then have

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Speaker 2: somebody else do it. But nobody wanted to work with me.

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Speaker 2: So I had to just suck it up and do it,

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Speaker 2: do it yourself. And that's how I got That's how

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Speaker 2: I got popular. I was so uncomfortable in front of

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Speaker 2: the camera all the time.

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Speaker 1: I read where you said you wouldn't wear a dress

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Speaker 1: for ten million. Now some of the greatest comedians have

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Speaker 1: worn a dress. Yeah, Eddie Martin, Jamie Yep, Williams killed it.

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Speaker 2: This is deut Fire is amazing, Norbit is amazing, Big

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Speaker 2: Mama's House amazed, especially first Usin. Yeah, tu Sie was it, Tootsie? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: look at the Because.

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Speaker 1: It's not about the dress. What's about.

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Speaker 2: It's about being uncompromising. Okay, if I don't want to

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Speaker 2: do it, then no amount of money is going to

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Speaker 2: make me do it. See the thought when I say it,

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Speaker 2: people have these think pieces.

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Speaker 1: What is it about the dress?

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Speaker 2: But it ain't about it is I don't want to

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Speaker 2: do it, and the dress to me represents standing my ground.

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Speaker 2: And then when you say ten million, I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 2: if I'm worth ten in the dress, i'm worth four

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Speaker 2: without the dress. I got to be at least worth

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Speaker 2: four without the dress.

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Speaker 1: I just take the four.

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Speaker 2: I'll just take the four. And then some people will

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Speaker 2: look at me like, man, you crazy. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm crazy if I pass on four billion? What it

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Speaker 2: four million? What did we get to a point where

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Speaker 2: four billion dollars was like, poo pooh, I'm never going

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Speaker 2: to be And I want to raise my children to

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Speaker 2: be that way, where it's like being you is enough,

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Speaker 2: and being and standing on whatever you're standing on, long

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Speaker 2: as it's righteous is enough. Seeing in that particular case,

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Speaker 2: I don't even look at it as a right or wrong.

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Speaker 2: It's just I don't want to do it right, and

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Speaker 2: that's enough, and that's enough. That's literally an.

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Speaker 1: I don't need you try to make me feel bad,

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Speaker 1: trying to guilt me into it. I said, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to do it, and that's the end of it.

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Speaker 1: So that we're not trying to put a number on it.

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Speaker 1: It's just not I'm not comfortable to doing it.

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Speaker 2: I think that I think that that Martin is less

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Speaker 2: of a comedian because he did Big Mama Ester.

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Speaker 1: Ain't that you think that.

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Speaker 2: I think Eddie Murphy is less because he played the

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Speaker 2: mom and the grandma and Nutty Professor. That is two

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Speaker 2: those two guys gave two of the greatest performances.

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Speaker 1: People don't get people they bag on Norbit. They got

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Speaker 1: all these Norbit.

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Speaker 2: Was great, great, that's that's some of the best performances

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Speaker 2: in cinematic history. The thing is, I can't even do that.

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Speaker 2: I can't even do that. So the act like, it's

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Speaker 2: not that I'm above it. I can't even do it.

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Speaker 2: That's beyond that's even beyond my capability.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: So I would feel like if somebody is asking me

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Speaker 2: to do it, that is not because they recognize a

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Speaker 2: skill set. Maybe they just want to see me in address.

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Speaker 2: And then I'm like, what is that about that? Because

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Speaker 2: it's not about because I haven't shown you the skill set.

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Speaker 2: I remember when I used to do I would do

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Speaker 2: stand up and I would because I storytell Those people

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Speaker 2: would tell me after the show they were like, is

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Speaker 2: there ever a time when you're gonna make the man

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Speaker 2: and the woman in the story sound different?

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Speaker 1: Because I just would use my voice.

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Speaker 2: That's how little I think about imitating women. I just

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Speaker 2: don't do it. I just don't do it.

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Speaker 1: It's not a skill set of mind. Yeah, you said

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Speaker 1: you don't believe in political correctness. Let me ask you this.

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Speaker 1: Can white people say the N word rapping? That has

400
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing to do with political corrects. That has everything

401
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 1: to do with how safe you feel in the moment.

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Speaker 1: I tell them to say it all the time. Go

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Speaker 1: to the hood and say it as much as you

404
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Speaker 1: want to.

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Speaker 2: If you don't feel comfortable saying it there, you shouldn't

406
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 2: feel comfortable saying it any of your car. Because the

407
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 2: way I feel about it is, either you stand on

408
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Speaker 2: what you stand on, Okay, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I do understand that there's a time and a place

410
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Speaker 2: for everything, But if it's something that you feel like

411
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 2: isn't wrong, you should be able to say it everywhere.

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Speaker 1: Right, and not just when you get upset or just

413
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Speaker 1: in a rap song.

414
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Speaker 2: Right. And if it takes that for you to say something,

415
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:32,440
Speaker 2: then you really don't feel like it's okay to say

416
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:38,239
Speaker 2: all the time. And that type of context matters. I

417
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 2: would never like, like for me, if I do a

418
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Speaker 2: clean set, right, they'll go, can you do clean?

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Speaker 1: I was like, I can.

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Speaker 2: I can imagine my grandma being in an audience easy work, right,

421
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:57,159
Speaker 2: because I would never speak like that in front of her. Correct,

422
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 2: never speak like that in front of her. In my mind,

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Speaker 2: I know that cursing a certain way. Yeah, ain't okay.

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Speaker 2: It's just it's just not it's just not it's not okay.

425
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Speaker 2: How you don't get that? Wow, you get it?

426
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Speaker 1: Yeah you did. You did say kids would be off limits.

427
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: So speaking about disability because it used to be you know,

428
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: you can make fun of disabled people, Yep, it's not

429
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Speaker 1: as I don't see as many comics doing it now

430
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Speaker 1: as they once did.

431
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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes they might do it, but they're talking about a relative.

433
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Speaker 1: I know Jay still talks about his brother, had Jay

434
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:44,280
Speaker 1: on Ricky looked Ricky Smiley still does Little Darryl. But

435
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 1: that is that a space that that but you never

436
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 1: occupied that space. So no, I actually do.

437
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,679
Speaker 2: A joke on my special about my son believing my

438
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,959
Speaker 2: son was on the spectrum and then finding out that

439
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 2: he was not because he.

440
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 1: Was non verbal until he was four years of age. Well,

441
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 1: we just found out is on the spectrum.

442
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 2: They were wrong. He is on the spectrum. He started

443
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 2: doing therapy and everything, you know, behavioral stuff. And then

444
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 2: we're uh, and I'm not struggling with it at all.

445
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 2: I look at it and be like, I can't wait

446
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 2: to talk about this. And whenever, uh, Like, you know,

447
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 2: everybody has a day, so the autism and then and

448
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:31,880
Speaker 2: when the day came, my my set about my son

449
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 2: came out, and so many parents who have autistic children,

450
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 2: people who have autistic siblings and everything was just like

451
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 2: grateful for the joke that I told in the way

452
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 2: that I went about telling it, because they felt seen

453
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 2: and they want to be able to laugh at the thing.

454
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:52,679
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. The joke has to appeal more

455
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 2: to the people it affects.

456
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,120
Speaker 1: Than the person that's telling the story.

457
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:01,360
Speaker 2: Then then the other people because people are laughing, they're

458
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 2: laughing at it. If the people who go through it

459
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 2: can't laugh at it. They're gonna feel like they're being

460
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 2: laughed at. Okay, you have to make sure that they

461
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:13,479
Speaker 2: are laughing at it.

462
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 1: They're laughing along.

463
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 2: Yes, And we're bringing everybody into this world, not everybody

464
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 2: pointing at it. So that's why I don't believe everything

465
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 2: anything is off limits. It's how you get to it.

466
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 2: Because everything in the world that happens in the world,

467
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,880
Speaker 2: it's somebody's reality, and everybody should be able to talk

468
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:37,199
Speaker 2: about their reality everybody. So when you say off limits,

469
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 2: I think you're you're stifling, you're trying too hard to

470
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 2: be politically correct, and you're leaving. You're slamming the door

471
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 2: on nuance, and you're slamming the door on an opportunity

472
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 2: for a conversation and a chance to educate people.

473
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 1: When you found out your son because he obviously he

474
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 1: wasn't communicating, how did that make you feel as a parent,

475
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 1: Because I think and especialist you being a father and

476
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 1: a son, I think.

477
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 2: We all have this after me.

478
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 1: We all have these expectations of what our son is

479
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 1: going to be mm hm, and how he's gonna behave,

480
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 1: and how we're gonna do. We're gonna play football, you're

481
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 1: gonna do that. And he still can. But I'm saying,

482
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 1: you know, oh, he's gonna be this. He's gonna be

483
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: big and strong, he gonna be muscular. You're gonna be

484
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 1: a storyteller. He's gonna be able to write jokes. We

485
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: have this. So when you found out that your son

486
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 1: was on the.

487
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 2: Spectrum, so his mom isn't gonna like it, but I

488
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 2: told you I decided to be tagging. She's struggling. Really,

489
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 2: she's struggling.

490
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,679
Speaker 1: Why do you think she's struggling? Guilt?

491
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 2: It's like, did we do something wrong? Is it something

492
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 2: that because he's high functioning? Okay, it's high functioning, So

493
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 2: it's it's quirks that you can pick up on, how

494
00:26:55,080 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 2: he uses his hands, how he speaks like and for

495
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 2: her it's like, what are they saying about my baby?

496
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 2: I can tell that that's you know, and it's like

497
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 2: are they saying? And that comes with the lack of

498
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 2: exposure to it.

499
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.

500
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 2: If you've never been around anybody on the spectrum or whatever,

501
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 2: you've probably seen the most severe cases and that's it.

502
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 2: So you don't know anything. And I get to watch

503
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 2: her go through this and just Luckily for me, that's

504
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,880
Speaker 2: not my experience because it wouldn't surprise me if I

505
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,400
Speaker 2: am you know what I mean. If anything, I look

506
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 2: at them and I go, boy, you're weird, like you're daddy,

507
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 2: We're it's just like And she don't like when I

508
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 2: say that, I'm just like.

509
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 1: You know.

510
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:04,120
Speaker 2: I remember Chris Rock talked about him might having as bergers,

511
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 2: you know, they say that Jerry Seinfeld may be on

512
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 2: the spectrum and things of that natures.

513
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 1: I see it as a superpower.

514
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 2: I look at the stuff my son does well and

515
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 2: I go, oh, that's that's what that is, right, Yeah,

516
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 2: that his ability to lock in onto these things that

517
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 2: he cared about in the same way I have tunnel

518
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 2: vision about the things that I care about. And people

519
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 2: with ADHD can tell you this, you know, the lock

520
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 2: in and then the aloofness and all of this stuff.

521
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 2: Like for me, it's fun to watch because I've gone

522
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 2: through this stuff mentally. It's fun to watch because now

523
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 2: like the way I see it is, I go, thank God,

524
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 2: I knew it was something. I knew it was something

525
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 2: I know. I wasn't crazy. That's how I see it.

526
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 2: So And I can't speak for every parent. Every parent

527
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 2: goes through everything. But for me, I'm super introverted. I

528
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 2: consider myself to be a weird.

529
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 1: Though my son being weird.

530
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 2: And some parents block yeah, hey, like father, like son. Yeah,

531
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 2: And so there are gonna be some parents who watch

532
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 2: this ago. Why he keeps saying weird? Why can't he

533
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 2: use another word? Well, weird is an insult to you.

534
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 2: Weird is not an insult to me. I embrace that.

535
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 1: I'm weird.

536
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 2: I love being a weirdo.

537
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: You've taken ownership of that.

538
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 2: I've taken ownership of it. It's a blessing to pass

539
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 2: that on to my son. You go deal with that,

540
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 2: how you go deal with that? But me and my

541
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 2: son we gonna be weird. And that's okay because that's

542
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 2: our superpower. And you don't. You can tell your child

543
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 2: don't ever let anybody call them weird or whatever. And

544
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 2: y'all accept whatever word, y'all gifted special. However you want

545
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 2: me and Ryan gonna be weird, That's that's how we

546
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 2: gonna get down.

547
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: Your co parent almost died giving birth.

548
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 2: Yes, who was she not gonna like this go ahead?

549
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: That would had to be a very scary experience.

550
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 2: It is it is, and she don't think it's funny.

551
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: Really, yeah, you tell that and you said I do.

552
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 2: She don't think it's funny. Well, she appreciates how I

553
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 2: handled it in the set. The problem is once you

554
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 2: put it.

555
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 1: Out, everybody because everybody didn't no problem. Only her family,

556
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 1: closest friends knew. Now the world knows.

557
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 2: Was the world And I still talk to somebody know

558
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 2: you you walk through the street. Don't nobody know that

559
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 2: joke is about you? But she's not a fan of

560
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 2: the commentary that surrounds it. But she knows that I

561
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 2: care enough and I to handle.

562
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 1: The it with care.

563
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 2: But what I also try to explain is you didn't

564
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 2: go through this alone. I went through it too. Yes,

565
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 2: I went through it too. No, I didn't almost die.

566
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 2: But you don't know what it's like to see somebody

567
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 2: you love who's carrying your child almost die and think

568
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 2: about whether you're gonna lose her and the child, or

569
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 2: are you going to have the child and not her,

570
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 2: and then what your future looks like all of these things.

571
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 2: And the place that I put this is it by art.

572
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 2: So let me have this, Let me have this, because

573
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 2: it wasn't easy for you to go through it, but

574
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 2: it also wasn't It wasn't easy for me. And this

575
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 2: is how.

576
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: I get that's how you deal with it.

577
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 2: This is how I'm dealing with it. I'm dealing with

578
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 2: and in that moment, and I found the humor is

579
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 2: the fear of me. I was afraid to raising the

580
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 2: children alone, which was a silly thought because she's fighting

581
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 2: for her life. That's the humor to me, is that

582
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 2: how ridiculous of me to think about that in a

583
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 2: moment like this, because for her, raising the children alone

584
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 2: is a lot easier than what she's currently going through.

585
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 2: And it also points at the the I had. I

586
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 2: was blessed enough to be selfish in the moment. It's

587
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 2: also how I see that. It's all the emotions that

588
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 2: come into creating this. That's what I want people to

589
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 2: see when I create my comedy.

590
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 1: You gotts do have a special bond because when you

591
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: were an up and coming comedian, she allowed you to

592
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 1: quit your job and support you financially. Yes, so there

593
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 1: is a special bond that you guys share. It wasn't like,

594
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 1: you know, she didn't support you. You made it. She's

595
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 1: not around like when you were trying to become what

596
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 1: you've become.

597
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 2: She was there, yeah, yeah, and she know she know, yeah,

598
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 2: I got her forever.

599
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 1: I got her forever.

600
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 2: And it's so funny even when she knows, Like when

601
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,239
Speaker 2: we're at odds at the most, I mean like, man,

602
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 2: I can't stand it. I just hate the way. And

603
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 2: then somebody like, yeah, watch your mouth, watch.

604
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,719
Speaker 1: Him mouth your mouth.

605
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 2: That lady has held me down. Yeah from the good

606
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 2: I'm not even a parent without her. I don't have

607
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 2: like I have a video I just watched it the

608
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 2: other day of the first time I ever did comedy. Right,

609
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 2: it's the day after I'm reading off of a plaque

610
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 2: that she made to commemorate the first time I've ever

611
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 2: been on stage, and how proud she.

612
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 1: Was of me.

613
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 2: And that's the type of I remember that person. I

614
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 2: still know that person is in that person I can't

615
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 2: get along with sometimes.

616
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: Given all of that, the commmorative plaque, birth of your kids,

617
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 1: how difficult was it for you to end that relationship?

618
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: You guys to go your separate says we're gonna be

619
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 1: co parents co one two, We're not one.

620
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,919
Speaker 2: It was it was easy for me, hard for her,

621
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 2: and then it became hard for me, easy for why

622
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,319
Speaker 2: was it hard? Why was it easy for you and

623
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 2: hard for her? All I could see was the world

624
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 2: that I was about to go. I'm about to be

625
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 2: a star, I'm about to do all the things. My

626
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 2: career is taken off. I see all the And this

627
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 2: is the funny part. I don't even feel like providing

628
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 2: context for people because people are gonna be like, oh,

629
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 2: what he made it bit, No, we were already. We

630
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:42,839
Speaker 2: were already. It just happened after it was yeah, So uh,

631
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 2: that's that's the thing too. I feel some type of

632
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:50,840
Speaker 2: guilt about because she was this close to the bubble

633
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 2: burt like it happening and while we were locked in,

634
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 2: but we weren't locked in whenever whenever it happened, And

635
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 2: so for me, like there's this, there was guilt. So

636
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 2: that's hard for me, But it was. It was easy

637
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 2: for me because I really didn't want the relationship, and

638
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 2: it was hard for her because she did right.

639
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 1: And breaking up is easy as long as you're not

640
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 1: the one being broken up with.

641
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 2: And this is the thing. She didn't want children. I

642
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 2: wanted children. Ah, so you don't force the kids on

643
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 2: the night she had children for me?

644
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 1: Yes, And now I'm not here yeah, this is like

645
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 1: my grand used to say, you ought to be beating

646
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:37,399
Speaker 1: made to stay.

647
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 2: But you see what the funny part about this is,

648
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 2: I'm I'm in my twenties.

649
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:44,800
Speaker 1: The world is my oyster.

650
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 2: I ain't even realizing what I'm putting her through because

651
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, because we tried, yes you know what I mean,

652
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:57,399
Speaker 2: ain't like I didn't try, but the so like I'm

653
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: not seeing things from her perspective because I'm sending money back,

654
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 2: I'm getting joint accounts, putting like giving you access to

655
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 2: all the money anytime you wanted, like I never played

656
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:10,320
Speaker 2: with her, like I've never played her, and like she's

657
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 2: always had access so whenever. But that's when it was

658
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 2: eating me. What was eating me up was like I

659
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 2: always wanted the family unit. That's what I wanted. She

660
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 2: knew I wanted that, and she was willing to give.

661
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: Give you that, even though she didn't want that.

662
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 2: For herself necessarily. And by the time I came around

663
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:40,919
Speaker 2: the understanding that I've really all I have to do

664
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 2: is come here and make this whole. When I came back,

665
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 2: she didn't nothing, she didn't want nothing to do with it,

666
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 2: and I gave her a pretty good deal. I came back.

667
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 2: I was like, look, we all live together, we all

668
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 2: raise the children together. You ain't gotta work. I'm gonna

669
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 2: pay for everything. I'll get you a personal trainer. I'll

670
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: get at you a personal chef to teach you how

671
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 2: to you know, cook.

672
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 1: And keep that. I want my personal space. And she

673
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 1: was like.

674
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 2: She was she was BORI or less like that's it.

675
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 2: I was like, God, this lady don't want no to me?

676
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,719
Speaker 1: No, don on the butt of me. Was that hard

677
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 1: for you because you said in the beginning you wanted that,

678
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 1: she didn't. Now that you wanted it and she didn't.

679
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 1: Was that hard now you did? You see the flips

680
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,839
Speaker 1: that now? Need you see what she was going through? Dope?

681
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 2: Still didn't see it. All I can think about is

682
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 2: I lost my family. That's all I can think of. Yo,

683
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 2: That's all I can say.

684
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 1: I was.

685
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 2: That's why I give people the space for growth. I

686
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 2: was not always a good person. And the funny part

687
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 2: is it wasn't that I was being a bad person.

688
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,399
Speaker 2: I just couldn't. I didn't. I lacked empathy. I could

689
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 2: not see somebody else's perspective. So like then like so

690
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 2: it took some growing up for me to be like,

691
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 2: because I know all I could see was what I

692
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 2: was going through. It wasn't a walking apart from my either.

693
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 2: She was not making everything easy for me on my end.

694
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 2: And I had to sit there and go, Ryan, what

695
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 2: is it like being her? What is it like being her?

696
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 2: You're doing these things that you feel like make life

697
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 2: easier for her because you because these are the things

698
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 2: you would appreciate, But what would she appreciate? What could

699
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 2: you have done to make these ten eleven years that

700
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 2: much easier for her? Because it wasn't always money that

701
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 2: would have done it for her. There were so many things.

702
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 2: There was a certain level of you know, just showing

703
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 2: up that you need, Like she don't need split custody.

704
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 2: She needs whenever the children. When it feels like it's

705
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 2: too much, you need to get the kids. I need

706
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,320
Speaker 2: to come get the kids. I had them the last weekend.

707
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 1: That ain't got nothing to do with her being overwhelmed.

708
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 2: The right now. So I see all the stuff I do.

709
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 2: She see all the time she's over.

710
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 1: And she's like, yeah, I see the stuff you do,

711
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 1: but you don't. But you don't see how much I do.

712
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 2: And the thing is I do but I didn't give

713
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 2: you your flowers ever at that time, and and and the

714
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 2: funny part is I didn't give her her flowers because

715
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 2: I was being an asshole.

716
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: While you being Why were you that way?

717
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:31,879
Speaker 2: I just didn't want to give her a satisfaction. Hurt people,

718
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 2: hurt people. I couldn't have my family. You don't get no,

719
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 2: you well you have a no, Nah, you don't get right.

720
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:41,760
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

721
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:43,399
Speaker 1: You heard it, he said, He's sorry.

722
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:44,319
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Like.

723
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 1: Would you if if if she called if when she

724
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 1: sees this, and she said, that's the first time that

725
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: you said you're sorry, Ryan, I want my family back.

726
00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 2: No, no, no, we good. But too much too much

727
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,640
Speaker 2: of that. Well, it's too much of everything. Yeah, too

728
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:12,839
Speaker 2: much of everything. Yeah we Yeah.

729
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: I saw a stat that said seventy of the people

730
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 1: find ghosting more painful than being dump because the lack

731
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 1: of closure keep the brain keep searching for answers. You

732
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 1: agree with that.

733
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a ghost.

734
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: And when I got you, just you just up and

735
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 1: leave you just no, no question of that.

736
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 2: So so I, uh, the growth of any person happens

737
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 2: where discomfort is. Yes, that's where any growth happens of

738
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 2: any kind. I'm non confrontational. I'll take my ball and

739
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:51,800
Speaker 2: go home. I don't we ain't gotta work on it. Damn. Yeah,

740
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:56,399
Speaker 2: it's it's immaturity. But it's also just you protected. I'm

741
00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 2: protecting myself. I'm hurting people by protecting myself. So for

742
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 2: a long time I didn't see it as me hurting people.

743
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 2: I was trying not to allow myself to get hurt. Yes,

744
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 2: that's how.

745
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,840
Speaker 1: I'm viewing it. That's mechanism.

746
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 2: That's why I tell people like I'll say, and that's

747
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 2: why I'll say in the same breath, I wasn't a

748
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:16,320
Speaker 2: good person, but I'll say I wasn't intentionally a bad person.

749
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 1: You know. Intend only matters to the individual. It only

750
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 1: matters to me. Yeah, because the person is.

751
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 2: Still they only experience you. So that was so that

752
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 2: was the thing. So No, I'm very much non confrontational.

753
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 2: And the reason being is because I get to the

754
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 2: finish line, like if me and you are cool and

755
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,360
Speaker 2: you cuss me out, I don't like being disrespected. Before

756
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 2: I respond to you, I go, is this friendship going

757
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 2: to continue after this? Because if the friendship is going

758
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 2: to continue after this, let's just go ahead and not

759
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 2: is you know, make this worse than what it already is.

760
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:56,280
Speaker 1: Damn.

761
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 2: But if the friendship is.

762
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: Over, let's go on to get it out.

763
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 2: Let's go ahead and get it out the way. Let's

764
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 2: go ahead. And I'm cool with just going my way.

765
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 2: So for me, I never get emotional, like emotionally disregulated

766
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 2: enough to just throw everything out the window. But in

767
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 2: that composure, I just walk away with fair, with relative ease.

768
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 2: But I don't think of I never thought about how

769
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 2: much that hurt the other person. So I had been ghosted, right,

770
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 2: and when I got ghosted, it left me without answers.

771
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 2: But it only hurt my ego. It didn't I.

772
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: Didn't feel like she changed the number on you.

773
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 2: That probably blocked me.

774
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 1: Everything phone numbers. So yeah.

775
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 2: So because I was like, and this is how toxic

776
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 2: I was, I wanted to know why she ghosted me

777
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 2: so I could tell her why she was wrong about

778
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 2: why she ghosted me. And then I was gonna go, see.

779
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:01,439
Speaker 1: You want to get back.

780
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:04,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's when I thought about it. I was like,

781
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:07,279
Speaker 2: why do you want closure? So you could just do it?

782
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 2: I was like, you're not a good person, It's just

783
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 2: so I had some growing to do. That's why I'm like,

784
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 2: you gotta grow that. So now, I always like, in

785
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 2: any situation I sit with Ryan, if you feel this way,

786
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 2: why do you feel this way? If this is your response,

787
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,800
Speaker 2: why do you want that to be your response?

788
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:25,839
Speaker 1: What is it?

789
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 2: That's the part of maturing and then also seeing things

790
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 2: from other people's points of view, and that's how you

791
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 2: work toward being a better person. And when you do

792
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 2: this work understand you're the only person that know you're

793
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,720
Speaker 2: doing this way. Yes, And whenever you speak, people still

794
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 2: hear you through their lens, correct, right. So, like I

795
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:54,799
Speaker 2: love women, love Black women, especially so when I talk

796
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,280
Speaker 2: about my love for them, people get on the internet

797
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 2: and go, you pandering, He pandering to him, He just

798
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 2: trying to get them. Because that person who says I'm

799
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 2: pandering has seen men on the internet pander to them

800
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 2: to make money or to do anything, or throw men

801
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 2: under the bus or whatever. And then I'll see something

802
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 2: that I don't particularly care for or whatever, and I'll

803
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 2: criticize it within women, you know, or especially in black women,

804
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 2: because that's the people women I see, and they'll be like, oh,

805
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: he has a problem with black women. I was like, dag,

806
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 2: I got a problem with black women and I'm a

807
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 2: simp and and that's the that's the thing with being fair.

808
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 2: When you're being fair, the extremes are always gonna yeah extreme,

809
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 2: They're going to extreme. So I just focus on being righteous, right,

810
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 2: and when I'm wrong, hope naim Lynn calls me and

811
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:48,319
Speaker 2: t Springs called me and.

812
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 1: Tell me better. Paul Pierce was trending. He said, if

813
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 1: you want to see if a woman really love you,

814
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 1: treat on her and see how she react. So if

815
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 1: a woman, let's just say you dating, she say hey,

816
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 1: right and let me see fall right quick.

817
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm starting to think that, uh, Paul Pierce might.

818
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:07,760
Speaker 1: Have mother issues.

819
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 2: And I don't know your situation, Paul, I'm just saying

820
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you why I think it because it's

821
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 2: something I went through. I had mammy issues and I

822
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,720
Speaker 2: used to be this person a lot of stuff.

823
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:18,920
Speaker 1: He said. I was like, I remember being that dude. Yeah.

824
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's weird hearing it from somebody his age, but yeah,

825
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 2: because you gotta work through that, Paul. But so this

826
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,879
Speaker 2: is where I used to be. I used to think

827
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 2: in order to see and it probably now that i'm

828
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 2: thinking about it probably comes from watching my mother. Never

829
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 2: leave my father, no matter how mad, how bad the situation,

830
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 2: no matter how bad it got, my dad just got remarried.

831
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 2: Shout out to my pops and my stepmama, Shiva love y'all.

832
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 2: But no matter how bad it got, she didn't leave.

833
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 2: So to me, that's love. That's the lens I saw

834
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 2: love through. But you know what, I would put women

835
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 2: through stuff and they would stay, and then I would

836
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 2: want to leave because how could you not respect yourself?

837
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 1: How do you allow him to do you like this?

838
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 1: You put them in a situation and then you wonder

839
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,879
Speaker 1: why they stayed in the situation, and then use the situation.

840
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 2: Cause I would never stay with somebody who treats me

841
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 2: like this, damn right. But this is the thing I was.

842
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:24,280
Speaker 2: Are we talking about teenager early twenties. But I don't

843
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 2: know how messed up I am. I don't know how bad.

844
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 2: That's the funny part. Whenever like, like, my peers speak

845
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 2: highly of me, my og speak highly of me, people

846
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 2: in general who know me speak highly of me. So

847
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,399
Speaker 2: I don't ever like get like if the internet, any

848
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 2: like rumors or anything come out on the Internet and

849
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 2: say anything negative about me, I don't care.

850
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 1: I know it's a lie. I've been good.

851
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:49,879
Speaker 2: I keep it moving. I mean they like Ryan, don't

852
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 2: never respond because it's true. No, I'll never respond because

853
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:54,840
Speaker 2: it's ridiculous. But there are some women in this world

854
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:59,400
Speaker 2: who do not remember me fondly. Now, if they come

855
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:03,040
Speaker 2: out and say something, I'll take that bullet straight to

856
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,840
Speaker 2: the chest. I did not do right by these women,

857
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 2: and it's because of the relationship with my mother. But

858
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,280
Speaker 2: my mother is not to blame for how I treated

859
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 2: these women. It was my responsibility, yes, to grow past that,

860
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 2: to grow past that and see what I was doing.

861
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 1: I couldn't.

862
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 2: Even when I love these women, I could not see

863
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 2: what I was doing to them. And man, I remember

864
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:35,280
Speaker 2: one time my girlfriend at the time confronted me about cheating.

865
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 2: We both crying, crying, and some people will be like, oh,

866
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 2: you was trying to manipulate her. No, I was really

867
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:50,359
Speaker 2: hurt because I couldn't stop hurting her. I broke up

868
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 2: with her and she.

869
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 1: Didn't even want to break up.

870
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 2: I broke up with her and she was like what,

871
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 2: And I was like, I can't keep doing this to you.

872
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 2: Something is wrong with me. The funny part is I'm

873
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:11,879
Speaker 2: not a good person for cheating. I'm not a good

874
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,440
Speaker 2: person for breaking up with her anything, because really I'm

875
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 2: breaking up with her because of the discomfort it's causing me.

876
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 2: Nothing about this, I'm not trying to sound like a

877
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 2: good person, and everything about this is me being a

878
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 2: bad person. But that's when I understood you got some

879
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 2: deep seated stuff that you gotta work out. Bro, it's bad, Yeah,

880
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:37,680
Speaker 2: it is bad. I have going to therapy. Yeah, I'm

881
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,240
Speaker 2: going to therapy. I've been in relationships. I did couples therapy.

882
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 2: And you know what, the messed up part is, the

883
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 2: better you get, the more easy it is for you

884
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 2: to see how messed up everybody else is. But now

885
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:51,800
Speaker 2: I have empathy on my side. When I see people's

886
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 2: stuff show up, I go, ah, that's what that is.

887
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 2: It's not me. I don't take it personal. And it

888
00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 2: helps because once you don't take stuff personal, see the

889
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 2: comments on social media and go, I get it. This

890
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 2: ain't got nothing to do with me.

891
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 1: That's them, that's there. Yeah. Have you found how to

892
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 1: have find happiness? Happiness? No, you got this great career,

893
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:23,799
Speaker 1: you got kids. No, what is what is happiness to you?

894
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,959
Speaker 1: Because happening is not something you it's not something you find,

895
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,400
Speaker 1: it's something you create. Yes, so.

896
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 2: I experienced it one time. It was wonderful. I ain't

897
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 2: gonna say one time, but I remember one time in particular. Okay, uh,

898
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 2: my friend Danielle had it was her birthday and we

899
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 2: went to Panama, uh, South America, rented a private island,

900
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 2: no electricity, no nothing.

901
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 1: That what happen is for you, I tell you, no,

902
00:49:57,480 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 1: no nothing.

903
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:02,800
Speaker 2: U for food, they just had traps in the water

904
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 2: and lobsters crawl into it, can't get out.

905
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 1: You eat lobster.

906
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 2: And like all the stuff that you is market price

907
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:13,799
Speaker 2: over here you have on a day to day at

908
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 2: your at your leisure. And you know, we congregated. There

909
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 2: was a bunch of us. It was like through the

910
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 2: day we spent time together. We congregated, we talked about

911
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:31,919
Speaker 2: everything that had massage therapists there, we all we did

912
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 2: everything together, mushrooms figure and it was just nothing but

913
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 2: like water. And he said, you know right then I

914
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:46,240
Speaker 2: was happy. But also I never felt closer to God

915
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 2: ever in my life. And I realized what I was

916
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:55,400
Speaker 2: experiencing is the life that He gave us. Everything that

917
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 2: we experience outside of that is man made and manufactured.

918
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 2: Most of the stress that we deal with on a

919
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:06,320
Speaker 2: day to day is it's created for us to live in.

920
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 2: So in order to find your happiness, get further away.

921
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:17,759
Speaker 2: That's the funny part. They put us in this rat

922
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 2: race so were we can make enough money to not

923
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 2: be in it. So now the goal for me is

924
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:31,840
Speaker 2: to find a way to not be in it without

925
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 2: like needing money to do it right. I want to

926
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:38,239
Speaker 2: get in the gardening. I want to be able to

927
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:41,160
Speaker 2: work with my hands and build things and create a

928
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:44,080
Speaker 2: life where I don't have to be in the rat

929
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:47,480
Speaker 2: race so much, because that was the time I witnessed

930
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 2: happiness where it was I didn't care like there was

931
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 2: no electricity, I didn't care about the lights. I didn't

932
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:57,319
Speaker 2: care about I didn't care about phone. Phones didn't work.

933
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,040
Speaker 2: I didn't care about phone. I didn't need to be

934
00:51:59,040 --> 00:51:59,959
Speaker 2: connected to the world.

935
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 1: World.

936
00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 2: I was connected to the world. I was with the

937
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:07,880
Speaker 2: people who I loved. It was great. I was so happy.

938
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:10,399
Speaker 2: I was heartbroken what I had to fly back home.

939
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 1: Are you a great communicator?

940
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 2: Am I a great communicator?

941
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

942
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:14,919
Speaker 3: Yeah?

943
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 1: Yeah? Unfortunate in your life with the would agree with that.

944
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:21,440
Speaker 2: See this, So I'm gonna break it down for me. Okay,

945
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:24,279
Speaker 2: So there's two levels of being a great communicator. Yes.

946
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 2: Have I always been great with words? Yes? Have I

947
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 2: been able to explain things throughout my life?

948
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 1: Yes.

949
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 2: But one of the things that comes with being smart,

950
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:39,280
Speaker 2: with being very intelligent but not emotionally intelligent, is now

951
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,560
Speaker 2: because you're scared to lean in to deal with your emotions.

952
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:47,080
Speaker 2: You can communicate things, but you become manipulative, right because

953
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 2: you don't want to deal with that part of it.

954
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:54,359
Speaker 2: So I can communicate everything I feel until I'm uncomfortable,

955
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:58,240
Speaker 2: and then I can make you feel this way about

956
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 2: this because I feel more comfortable book over here. And

957
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:06,640
Speaker 2: that's the problem that I had in the past. And

958
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 2: now I because I know discomfort is where the growth is.

959
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 2: I try my best that when I feel uncomfortable to

960
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 2: stop to staying there. We got to stay in it.

961
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 2: We gotta stay in it. So I always had the

962
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 2: skill to communicate well, but now I have the emotional

963
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 2: intelligence to do it, you know, to really touch the problem,

964
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:31,440
Speaker 2: to really communicate about the problem. Because one of my

965
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 2: biggest things was I was sensitive. I cared about what

966
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:36,360
Speaker 2: people thought of me.

967
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 1: Right, So.

968
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 2: If you told me, like, let's say I made a

969
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 2: joke about you, and you're like Ryan, I got a

970
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:47,719
Speaker 2: good sense of humor. But when you said this, you

971
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:53,880
Speaker 2: took it too far. I hear I attacked you. That

972
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 2: is not what you said. And I need, in that

973
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 2: moment discomfort. I need you to say you don't feel attacked.

974
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 2: But you never said you felt attacked. You wanted to

975
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 2: tell me where the line is and what you find

976
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:16,240
Speaker 2: funny or what's acceptable to talk about about you. That's

977
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 2: where the disconnect was for me for a long time.

978
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:22,719
Speaker 2: And now whenever someone says something, I go, Ryan, what

979
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:27,359
Speaker 2: did he say? What did he say? He said, this

980
00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 2: was too far. Apologized to that band. Apologize to that

981
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 2: band because how he experienced you was you took it

982
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:39,879
Speaker 2: too far. And this is somebody with a sense of humor.

983
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 2: It's not that they're oversensitive. This is where they draw

984
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 2: the line. Tell them that you respect the line. Make

985
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,840
Speaker 2: sure they understand that you know that you respect the

986
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:52,239
Speaker 2: line and also the course of correction. I'll never do

987
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 2: that again. Now I can express how I feel. Now

988
00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 2: I can tell you I never meant to do that

989
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 2: to you. Instead of keep going I ain't mean it

990
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 2: that way. I ain't do that. No, no, no, you say

991
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 2: that just the way you took it. That's the way

992
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 2: you took it. See, now you not handling, You're not.

993
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 2: You're causing a bigger problem because now it's an argument.

994
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 2: When you was trying to get some understanding, Now I've

995
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 2: taken it to a place that didn't even have to go.

996
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 2: So I'm always working on. Now, Ryan, what did this

997
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 2: person say to you?

998
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:25,719
Speaker 1: Not?

999
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 2: What did you feel about what they say?

1000
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 1: Did? What did they say? Yeah?

1001
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 2: What did they actually say? And if you need them

1002
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:37,920
Speaker 2: to clarify, go when you say this, are you saying this?

1003
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:39,400
Speaker 3: Not?

1004
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 2: You said this about me? So that's why I'm did

1005
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:43,600
Speaker 2: you mean it this way?

1006
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:45,840
Speaker 1: Did you? Okay?

1007
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 2: All right, right, let me sit with that. And enough

1008
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 2: people don't do that. And you know where they really

1009
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 2: don't do it? The Internet. No ever they see, they

1010
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:57,799
Speaker 2: consume it and it's right out immediately, And then a

1011
00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:59,879
Speaker 2: lot of people believe that's the world that we live

1012
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 2: in because they're seeing people's reactions and that's not the.

1013
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 1: World we live in.

1014
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 2: So that's why I need people to go out and

1015
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:10,479
Speaker 2: start living. We live in that phone too much.

1016
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 1: Is it true you contemplated suicide?

1017
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:17,240
Speaker 2: Have ever contemplated suicide. I deal with depression for sure.

1018
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 1: What what what do you think brings it on? I mean,

1019
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:25,279
Speaker 1: you're successful, You've got money, you're living the dream that

1020
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 1: you you envisioned. I mean you when you map this

1021
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:29,400
Speaker 1: obviously you want to do you know, you want to

1022
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 1: be Stuard Scott. But when you like man, I can

1023
00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 1: tell jokes, I can be a comedian, I can stand

1024
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:38,920
Speaker 1: on stage. I'm a great writer. What what what brings

1025
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:40,759
Speaker 1: on the depression that you feel that?

1026
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:45,759
Speaker 2: So for me, I believe depression comes from multiple places.

1027
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:51,920
Speaker 2: For me, let's see, because I want to answer you properly.

1028
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:55,320
Speaker 2: I want to make sure that I uh that I

1029
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:59,200
Speaker 2: don't answer in a way that's comfortable for me. But

1030
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:08,919
Speaker 2: there's I'm honest with you know because I'm glad you're

1031
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 2: the person that's asking me this. It means because you

1032
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:16,600
Speaker 2: talk about your upbringing to be the person in your

1033
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 2: family to turn it around. Heavy is the head right?

1034
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:24,520
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1035
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 2: So I grew up in a home. I'm the middle

1036
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 2: of seven kids now eight. I have a seven year

1037
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 2: old brother, but the middle of seven kids from two

1038
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 2: high school dropouts in Connapolis Concord, North Carolina. Whenever aunts cousins.

1039
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 2: Anybody fell on hard times our house, they came to

1040
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 2: our house. My parents never turned anybody away, friends, family,

1041
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 2: every There would be thirteen fourteen people in a living

1042
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:59,480
Speaker 2: in a house, in a three bedroom house at one time.

1043
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 2: You take care of your people that has been ingrained

1044
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:10,520
Speaker 2: in me, and I take on fights that's not mine

1045
00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:16,560
Speaker 2: all the time. And then when I feel it, I

1046
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 2: don't know how to go to other people.

1047
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:23,120
Speaker 1: To Everybody comes to you and drop dump their problems

1048
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:25,680
Speaker 1: on Ryan. But Ryan doesn't have the ability to go

1049
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 1: somewhere else and don't what's going on with him.

1050
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:30,920
Speaker 2: And it ain't even like they don't offer it. I

1051
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 2: just don't know how because they probably because they would

1052
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 2: show up. Yeah, if I asked them, they would show up.

1053
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:40,479
Speaker 2: But there's something in me that goes you can figure

1054
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:41,000
Speaker 2: you can do this.

1055
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:42,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can do it.

1056
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 2: You can do it all on your own. And then

1057
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 2: when it starts breaking, yeah, So so it's that or

1058
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:53,600
Speaker 2: everything can be going great and I ain't seen my

1059
00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:56,600
Speaker 2: kids in a while, or my daughter ain't talking to me,

1060
00:58:57,760 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 2: or it's just like you see what I'm saying.

1061
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 1: She a phone that you can call her.

1062
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 2: I definitely, definitely, definitely she's had a phone for a

1063
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 2: minute when she not answering, that kills me. That when

1064
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:16,240
Speaker 2: she But you know, this is the funny part about

1065
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 2: it is I make it sound so so rough because

1066
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 2: that's how I feel when it happens. But if you

1067
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 2: were to see me at her together, she's fine with you.

1068
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:27,880
Speaker 2: She don't hate me. She's just afraid to give.

1069
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:33,120
Speaker 1: Let go again, Let go again, that's all. But so.

1070
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:38,480
Speaker 2: Like when I deal with depression, like everything could anything,

1071
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 2: could see it could be seasonal sun ain't came out

1072
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 2: in three days now that I've been sitting in the dark,

1073
00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 2: bought eat and not doing anything. It's just like and

1074
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 2: then as a creative, like my brain goes it don't

1075
00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 2: turn off. It don't ever turn People do not know

1076
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:04,360
Speaker 2: what that's like for your brain to never turn off. Ever,

1077
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:08,960
Speaker 2: it never ends like I'm always up here and now,

1078
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,760
Speaker 2: and so I'll do like friends laugh at me because

1079
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 2: I'll be in the club playing Tetris and that'll be like,

1080
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:22,560
Speaker 2: what is that? Over stimulated? I need to separate myself

1081
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:25,280
Speaker 2: from every it's too much going on, there's too much.

1082
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:29,280
Speaker 2: I need mindless. I need these times of mindlessness. I

1083
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:32,640
Speaker 2: need to put my mind in the shutdown mode. So

1084
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:36,080
Speaker 2: at times I don't do well with eye contact, things

1085
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 2: of that nature, all this stuff. That's what I'm saying.

1086
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 2: Like when I say my son's a little weird, I'm

1087
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:45,720
Speaker 2: glad that he's a little weirdough like his dad, he's

1088
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:47,480
Speaker 2: gonna have somebody to come to and be like that.

1089
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:49,360
Speaker 1: I be doing stuff. Don't nobody else do it?

1090
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:54,600
Speaker 2: Like yeah, you'll do still do yeah. So for me,

1091
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 2: it's like so when the depression kicks in, it has

1092
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 2: nothing to do with success. But you know, the funny

1093
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:06,520
Speaker 2: part is I never got into this for success.

1094
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:06,960
Speaker 1: Not for money. The money.

1095
01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 2: Sometimes I get handed the check and me like, really,

1096
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 2: y'all really pay this for me?

1097
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 1: The thing I love this.

1098
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:14,640
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.

1099
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:16,160
Speaker 1: I appreciate it ain't nothing.

1100
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:21,680
Speaker 2: But at the same time, like I think I would

1101
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:27,120
Speaker 2: be depressed, Like if I put my all into this

1102
01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:32,080
Speaker 2: game and people are like he was mediocre, Yeah, that

1103
01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:38,400
Speaker 2: would kill me. But that didn't happen, so I don't.

1104
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:38,880
Speaker 1: I don't do.

1105
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 2: I get I got the respect from the people I respect,

1106
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:47,920
Speaker 2: you know, I even get like like shout out the

1107
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:50,280
Speaker 2: little Duval. Me and little Duval have don't have a

1108
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:56,440
Speaker 2: relationship whatsoever. And somebody messaged him complaining about me. They

1109
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 2: came to my show, they didn't like it. They didn't

1110
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:01,680
Speaker 2: like the show because they didn't understand what I was doing,

1111
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:08,400
Speaker 2: which is fine. My comedy is not for everybody. It's

1112
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 2: a little difficult for people of a certain iq. I

1113
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:17,640
Speaker 2: get it. So he didn't understand the nuance and he

1114
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 2: went to complain to Duval. Me and Duval don't have

1115
01:02:23,720 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 2: a relationship or anything. Duval screenshoted it, marked out all

1116
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:31,640
Speaker 2: the stuff that would let anybody know it was me

1117
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:36,440
Speaker 2: and everything posted it and was just correcting him about

1118
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:39,760
Speaker 2: you don't know what space this comedian is in. He

1119
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 2: could be working on something he could get. You don't

1120
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:46,240
Speaker 2: know where he is in the process of working through

1121
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:50,760
Speaker 2: this material or whatever. You just might didn't get it

1122
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:53,120
Speaker 2: that day, or he might just have missed the mark

1123
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:57,520
Speaker 2: that day. But it's not representative of who that That

1124
01:02:57,680 --> 01:03:03,480
Speaker 2: man had no reason to defend me, and he had

1125
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:06,960
Speaker 2: no reason to share it to get other people to

1126
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:10,280
Speaker 2: understand that perspective. It spoke to the type of person

1127
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:15,040
Speaker 2: that he is, which also goes back to the whole

1128
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:18,760
Speaker 2: beef and thing. Comedians defend the comedians all the time

1129
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:23,080
Speaker 2: and whenever I go through these fits of depression, I

1130
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 2: always have these moments of brotherhood and everything. Ron g

1131
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:32,439
Speaker 2: a comedian out here in California. Out in California, He's

1132
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:33,800
Speaker 2: from South Carolina. Carolina.

1133
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:34,000
Speaker 1: Boy.

1134
01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:36,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, he'll call and check on me. Sydney Castillo, call

1135
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:40,960
Speaker 2: and check on me out of nowhere, because you know,

1136
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 2: that's just who they are as people.

1137
01:03:44,440 --> 01:03:46,080
Speaker 1: And you know.

1138
01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:52,560
Speaker 2: Clint Coleywood, my girl, Paris Sache, my girl, Todd Davis.

1139
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:57,080
Speaker 2: They would check on me in the roughest of times.

1140
01:03:57,720 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 2: So I have a community in those times. But when

1141
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:07,840
Speaker 2: it comes to suicide, I could never do that. There's

1142
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:11,400
Speaker 2: a there's a certain level of h I think I

1143
01:04:11,440 --> 01:04:15,840
Speaker 2: love myself too much. Yeah, that I couldn't. I can't

1144
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:21,080
Speaker 2: even step stump on my own Footthard, I can't. I

1145
01:04:21,200 --> 01:04:26,000
Speaker 2: just I love myself too much. Like the suicidal thoughts is,

1146
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 2: maybe I don't want to be here thinking about what

1147
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:31,720
Speaker 2: it would be like if I'm not here, or maybe

1148
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:34,440
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, maybe this would be easier

1149
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:40,720
Speaker 2: if I wasn't here, But to actually try it, I'll

1150
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 2: never be because there's no way I could do it

1151
01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:44,480
Speaker 2: where it makes sense for me.

1152
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:48,680
Speaker 1: You've lost some weight you mentioned that, you know, yeah,

1153
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:49,680
Speaker 1: how much weight you lost.

1154
01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:54,360
Speaker 2: I had lost one hundred pounds at one point. Yeah,

1155
01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:56,640
Speaker 2: I've gained so much of it back. But yeah, you're

1156
01:04:56,640 --> 01:04:59,200
Speaker 2: gonna lose again. Yeaheah, I've already started process of losing

1157
01:04:59,200 --> 01:04:59,560
Speaker 2: it again.

1158
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:02,600
Speaker 1: What made you want to lose weight? Health?

1159
01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:07,240
Speaker 2: Health Shout out to Ad. He owns this company called

1160
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,880
Speaker 2: d Herbs. He helped Steve Harvey lose weight, all this

1161
01:05:09,920 --> 01:05:15,200
Speaker 2: stuff like he's Ad the real deal and he won't.

1162
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:18,080
Speaker 2: He does his weight lost show called I Can. And

1163
01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:22,520
Speaker 2: we went to do the show and we were supposed

1164
01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:25,640
Speaker 2: to shoot it, but me and Ad are friends, said Ad,

1165
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:28,439
Speaker 2: I got high blood pressure, I'm pre diabetic, I got

1166
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:31,520
Speaker 2: sleep apnea. I went to go get a check up.

1167
01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:36,600
Speaker 2: Doctor said it's bad. It's all bad. He said, forget

1168
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:40,000
Speaker 2: the show. Come early so people don't know. I lost

1169
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:43,920
Speaker 2: thirty pounds before I lost the sixty pounds that they

1170
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:53,760
Speaker 2: saw on the show. Damn Like man, blood pressure was

1171
01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 2: the lowest it ever been. Didn't have sleep apnea no more,

1172
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:07,200
Speaker 2: didn't wasn't pre diabetic anymore. It cured every single ailment

1173
01:06:07,280 --> 01:06:11,120
Speaker 2: that I had. David Banner hit me up. It was like,

1174
01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:14,880
Speaker 2: put me on. I put him on. He sent me

1175
01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:17,840
Speaker 2: a screenshots. Blood pressure was the lowest had ever been

1176
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:22,240
Speaker 2: in his life. Wow. I was able to help my friends.

1177
01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:25,920
Speaker 2: Nate Jackson came to me. Shout out to Nate Jackson.

1178
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:31,640
Speaker 2: Amazing comedian by the way. You know, he asked where

1179
01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:33,200
Speaker 2: he was like, I can't do I'm not going to

1180
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:35,000
Speaker 2: do exactly what you did, but I do want to

1181
01:06:35,040 --> 01:06:37,640
Speaker 2: know whatever, and he was letting me know his progress

1182
01:06:37,640 --> 01:06:41,920
Speaker 2: and he was doing well with it. Health is wealth man, absolutely,

1183
01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:46,720
Speaker 2: And to be able to do something for myself and

1184
01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:49,240
Speaker 2: then be able to give that to people I care about,

1185
01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:53,040
Speaker 2: it's such a big thing. And the one thing that

1186
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:57,560
Speaker 2: I didn't care for in that experience is everything was

1187
01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:01,240
Speaker 2: going so well for me. At times, my partner on

1188
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:05,240
Speaker 2: the show, Kim Kimball, things wouldn't go as well for

1189
01:07:05,360 --> 01:07:10,040
Speaker 2: her because she was working more than I was. And

1190
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:13,760
Speaker 2: I would see comments where people were like, she not

1191
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:14,800
Speaker 2: taking it serious.

1192
01:07:15,400 --> 01:07:17,480
Speaker 1: She she going.

1193
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:19,720
Speaker 2: You know, to work and all of this. She should

1194
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:22,880
Speaker 2: dig in like Ryan digging in. Kim Kimball was doing

1195
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:28,280
Speaker 2: Beyonce's hair for the Cowboy Carter everything like the promo

1196
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:32,680
Speaker 2: shoots to everything. I don't listen. Let me tell y'all something,

1197
01:07:34,040 --> 01:07:37,160
Speaker 2: if you got a chance to do Beyonce's hair, get

1198
01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:37,840
Speaker 2: paid to do that.

1199
01:07:38,080 --> 01:07:38,640
Speaker 1: You doing it?

1200
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:44,480
Speaker 2: Skip the pushups, come back, come back to it, come

1201
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:46,800
Speaker 2: back to it. She was working with Beyonces and Day

1202
01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:49,680
Speaker 2: and all of this stuff. People act like she was

1203
01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:56,080
Speaker 2: like she was y'all are talking about her missing out

1204
01:07:56,200 --> 01:08:00,960
Speaker 2: on some of the biggest opportunities in the world. The

1205
01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:04,040
Speaker 2: fact that she was able to lose almost forty pounds

1206
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:08,600
Speaker 2: and start to get her health in check while accomplishing

1207
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,560
Speaker 2: some of the biggest things in her heart that a

1208
01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:16,000
Speaker 2: hair stylist could ever dream of. Like people looked at

1209
01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:19,120
Speaker 2: it like I was like doing way better than her,

1210
01:08:19,200 --> 01:08:22,600
Speaker 2: But she was like my hero in that through that process.

1211
01:08:23,080 --> 01:08:24,839
Speaker 2: Kim Kimball is an amazing person.

1212
01:08:25,360 --> 01:08:28,040
Speaker 1: You're from North Carolina and you catch a lot of

1213
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:32,200
Speaker 1: criticisms because you don't believe Michael Jordan is to go Yeah,

1214
01:08:32,439 --> 01:08:37,360
Speaker 1: you said, Lebron, Yeah you go back home, easy, easy.

1215
01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:43,960
Speaker 1: I go with my Jordans because Jordan's from Wilmington.

1216
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:48,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got I wear my Jordans. I'd be like, yeah, man,

1217
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:52,880
Speaker 2: you're like these hard they are amazing. Number two going

1218
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:56,839
Speaker 2: to there's number two play you have met Lebron. Nope, nope,

1219
01:08:57,080 --> 01:08:57,920
Speaker 2: never met Lebron.

1220
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:00,479
Speaker 1: You have met Jordan, Nope No.

1221
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:03,679
Speaker 2: The funny part is neither one of them my favorite players.

1222
01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:05,080
Speaker 1: Who are your favorite player?

1223
01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:09,639
Speaker 2: Alan Overson? Okay, that's why you see these big study

1224
01:09:09,760 --> 01:09:12,760
Speaker 2: rings and man, that's Alan Iverson was a superhero to me.

1225
01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:14,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, love Alan Overson.

1226
01:09:16,280 --> 01:09:20,840
Speaker 2: My love for Allen Iverson, it stands beyond basketball. He

1227
01:09:20,840 --> 01:09:23,400
Speaker 2: ain't even at my top ten at all time, might

1228
01:09:23,439 --> 01:09:25,600
Speaker 2: not even be at my top fifteen twenty.

1229
01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:27,400
Speaker 1: But he has a bigger influence on the.

1230
01:09:28,280 --> 01:09:31,720
Speaker 2: You can't tell me nothing about Alan Overson. You can't

1231
01:09:31,720 --> 01:09:33,760
Speaker 2: tell me nothing about Allen Iverson. You can't tell me

1232
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:38,720
Speaker 2: nothing about Kyrie Irving. We can move some furniture. You

1233
01:09:38,760 --> 01:09:40,679
Speaker 2: can't tell me nothing about these guys.

1234
01:09:40,680 --> 01:09:41,800
Speaker 1: And these guys ain't in my.

1235
01:09:41,840 --> 01:09:48,040
Speaker 2: Top because my view of the craft is just an

1236
01:09:48,080 --> 01:09:52,559
Speaker 2: objective view. I'm talking about what I'm seeing. And what

1237
01:09:52,640 --> 01:09:57,240
Speaker 2: I've learned is whenever you try to have these conversations,

1238
01:09:57,320 --> 01:10:02,920
Speaker 2: it's so emotional for people. There's an attachment to Michael

1239
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:08,759
Speaker 2: Jordan that people that people who aren't Michael Jordan fans

1240
01:10:08,840 --> 01:10:14,200
Speaker 2: can never understand. Because you had to be there, you

1241
01:10:14,479 --> 01:10:18,519
Speaker 2: had to be there and you had to experience it,

1242
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:24,439
Speaker 2: and I get it more than they understand people. And

1243
01:10:24,479 --> 01:10:26,240
Speaker 2: it's so funny because I might get laughed at for

1244
01:10:26,280 --> 01:10:28,479
Speaker 2: the comparison because we were like, can you compare those two?

1245
01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:29,960
Speaker 1: Chris Rock, to.

1246
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:36,400
Speaker 2: Me is larger than life. My one of my first

1247
01:10:36,439 --> 01:10:39,880
Speaker 2: exposures to stand up comedy was Bring the Pain. My

1248
01:10:40,040 --> 01:10:42,680
Speaker 2: mom and dad said us down because they didn't want

1249
01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:44,519
Speaker 2: to miss it. And when you were young, you watch

1250
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:49,720
Speaker 2: whatever your parents absolute. Bring the pain Chris Rock.

1251
01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:51,439
Speaker 1: Was.

1252
01:10:51,680 --> 01:10:56,320
Speaker 2: He's everything stand up to me, everything stand up to me.

1253
01:10:56,439 --> 01:10:58,439
Speaker 2: I've met him, I've talked to him. I've never told

1254
01:10:58,520 --> 01:11:01,840
Speaker 2: him because I'm terrified every time I talk to him.

1255
01:11:03,120 --> 01:11:07,080
Speaker 2: He's everything stand up to me. There's people who really

1256
01:11:07,200 --> 01:11:12,160
Speaker 2: don't believe he's as great as he is. True, I

1257
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:16,519
Speaker 2: don't care nothing about what they're talking about. He is

1258
01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:19,280
Speaker 2: arguably to me, the best person to ever step on

1259
01:11:19,360 --> 01:11:22,840
Speaker 2: stage and touch the microphone. A wow. That's who he

1260
01:11:23,080 --> 01:11:30,000
Speaker 2: is to me. So I understand what these Jordan fans

1261
01:11:30,200 --> 01:11:34,599
Speaker 2: are dealing with and what they go through. But I also,

1262
01:11:34,840 --> 01:11:37,760
Speaker 2: in the craft, know that Patris O'Neil might have been

1263
01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:42,080
Speaker 2: better than Chris Rock. Deve Chappelle might be better than

1264
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:46,120
Speaker 2: Chris Rock. Bill Burr might be better, but Richard Pryor

1265
01:11:46,240 --> 01:11:47,040
Speaker 2: might be better.

1266
01:11:47,520 --> 01:11:48,360
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying.

1267
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:53,200
Speaker 2: I leave room for the idea that someone can say that,

1268
01:11:53,240 --> 01:11:55,800
Speaker 2: and I'll have a conversation. Jordan fans don't even leave

1269
01:11:55,920 --> 01:12:00,800
Speaker 2: room for the idea that someone could see it differently,

1270
01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:04,759
Speaker 2: So it's hard to have a conversation with them because

1271
01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:09,120
Speaker 2: they there's an assumption that whenever you think somebody is

1272
01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:14,519
Speaker 2: the greatest, that you must be a fan. I think

1273
01:12:14,600 --> 01:12:17,880
Speaker 2: Barry Sanders is the greatest running back of all time.

1274
01:12:18,479 --> 01:12:23,160
Speaker 2: Marshall Falk is my favorite running back. My favorites are

1275
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:28,280
Speaker 2: rarely ever the best the best, So I'm really looking

1276
01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:33,240
Speaker 2: at it from an objective view, and it's hard to

1277
01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:38,599
Speaker 2: combat the way people feel about things. So I have

1278
01:12:38,680 --> 01:12:41,479
Speaker 2: these conversations and I keep that in mind, and I

1279
01:12:41,560 --> 01:12:44,840
Speaker 2: do my best with just giving people the information and

1280
01:12:44,920 --> 01:12:48,200
Speaker 2: different points of views. But it's only so far. You

1281
01:12:48,240 --> 01:12:53,720
Speaker 2: can take people to see a guy make twenty plus

1282
01:12:53,760 --> 01:13:00,800
Speaker 2: all MBAs be in the league twenty years. At half

1283
01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:05,519
Speaker 2: of those years he was in the finals. With the

1284
01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:11,160
Speaker 2: skills that you see the skills set people like Kevin

1285
01:13:11,240 --> 01:13:20,000
Speaker 2: Durant exist. They didn't exist in Jordan's time. I won't

1286
01:13:20,120 --> 01:13:24,400
Speaker 2: argue you ain't have to deal with that. You ain't

1287
01:13:24,439 --> 01:13:27,920
Speaker 2: have to deal with like Steph Curry, that didn't exist. No,

1288
01:13:28,800 --> 01:13:31,479
Speaker 2: in Jordan's time, he ain't had to deal with that.

1289
01:13:31,720 --> 01:13:34,960
Speaker 2: And some people were like, well, he ain't have to

1290
01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:38,080
Speaker 2: deal he ain't have to deal with Elijah Wan. Well

1291
01:13:38,160 --> 01:13:40,800
Speaker 2: Jordan didn't either. He retired when he had to deal

1292
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:45,560
Speaker 2: with you see what I'm saying. Yeah, the colon Yoki Yannis.

1293
01:13:45,640 --> 01:13:49,840
Speaker 2: Y'all think Karl Malone was some Imagine if Karl Malone

1294
01:13:50,360 --> 01:13:52,519
Speaker 2: and John Stockton was running the pick and roll from

1295
01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:54,160
Speaker 2: the top of the kyd and he could move like

1296
01:13:54,280 --> 01:14:01,120
Speaker 2: y'all that's going downhill. It's the game evolves. It evolves,

1297
01:14:01,200 --> 01:14:05,280
Speaker 2: and it's like Jordan is everything that y'all say he is. Yes,

1298
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:09,400
Speaker 2: that's the thing too. When you say he's second, they go, oh,

1299
01:14:09,479 --> 01:14:12,320
Speaker 2: you just don't understand. No, he's everything that y'all say

1300
01:14:12,120 --> 01:14:15,519
Speaker 2: he is. I believe you, and I believe with all

1301
01:14:15,560 --> 01:14:17,400
Speaker 2: of that he's number two.

1302
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:24,040
Speaker 1: I say this this part for last because I thank you.

1303
01:14:24,080 --> 01:14:25,920
Speaker 1: I read where you said you haven't talked to your

1304
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:29,400
Speaker 1: mom in four years? Yes, has that changed? Uh?

1305
01:14:30,240 --> 01:14:32,760
Speaker 2: I hosted Thanksgiving last year and I invited her.

1306
01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:33,479
Speaker 1: She didn't come.

1307
01:14:33,560 --> 01:14:35,479
Speaker 2: She can't. She can't We speak?

1308
01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:39,040
Speaker 1: Do you have a conversation? We do?

1309
01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:42,960
Speaker 2: Uh, And I'll answer when she calls? Sometimes she still

1310
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:43,519
Speaker 2: what you.

1311
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:46,920
Speaker 1: Mean you asking? Can we she called? Sometimes? Right, I don't.

1312
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:50,599
Speaker 2: I don't intentionally miscalls. I miscalls a lot. Okay, I'm

1313
01:14:50,640 --> 01:14:53,320
Speaker 2: just not. Do you do you call back when miss

1314
01:14:53,439 --> 01:14:55,200
Speaker 2: you missed her call? Do you call back?

1315
01:14:56,360 --> 01:14:59,439
Speaker 1: If I see it? How you not gonna see it? Ran?

1316
01:14:59,760 --> 01:15:01,080
Speaker 1: How check my miscalls? Like that?

1317
01:15:01,120 --> 01:15:02,880
Speaker 2: I wish I had my phones on y'all show you

1318
01:15:02,880 --> 01:15:06,120
Speaker 2: you a laugh. Being an introvert is a real like

1319
01:15:07,400 --> 01:15:09,960
Speaker 2: I'm introverted in a way that it's.

1320
01:15:09,840 --> 01:15:12,120
Speaker 1: You blame your mom for the trauma that you feel

1321
01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:14,160
Speaker 1: sometime in your life. Your mom had not had four

1322
01:15:14,240 --> 01:15:18,200
Speaker 1: kids by the time she was nineteen. Yes, yeah, you

1323
01:15:18,240 --> 01:15:19,160
Speaker 1: still blame your mom.

1324
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:21,240
Speaker 2: I blame my dad.

1325
01:15:22,240 --> 01:15:25,200
Speaker 1: You blame your dad, But you blame your dad for

1326
01:15:25,320 --> 01:15:27,719
Speaker 1: how he treated your mom, which you blame your mom

1327
01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:28,640
Speaker 1: for staying.

1328
01:15:28,360 --> 01:15:32,120
Speaker 2: He did that to her. Now how you respond to

1329
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:33,839
Speaker 2: how you treated as yours?

1330
01:15:34,080 --> 01:15:34,200
Speaker 1: Right?

1331
01:15:35,479 --> 01:15:39,679
Speaker 2: Like she treated us the way she treat us because

1332
01:15:39,720 --> 01:15:43,559
Speaker 2: of what she went through with him. I have to

1333
01:15:43,760 --> 01:15:46,559
Speaker 2: understand because I had my first child at twenty seven,

1334
01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:51,080
Speaker 2: I was her third at seventeen. I wasn't ready at

1335
01:15:51,120 --> 01:15:56,000
Speaker 2: twenty seven. I can only imagine three at seventeen. At seventeen,

1336
01:15:56,240 --> 01:15:59,000
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. And she'd have been a senior

1337
01:15:59,040 --> 01:16:01,680
Speaker 2: in high school. You say, she yeah, so. And the

1338
01:16:01,720 --> 01:16:04,080
Speaker 2: thing is, I get my intelligence from my mother. My

1339
01:16:04,160 --> 01:16:07,240
Speaker 2: mother is very smart. My mother could have accomplished every

1340
01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:10,840
Speaker 2: everything that y'all think. Like when people who appreciate my

1341
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:18,600
Speaker 2: mental capacity double that, that's my mama. She was a child,

1342
01:16:20,240 --> 01:16:26,320
Speaker 2: Her life got derailed, and sometimes I wonder if she

1343
01:16:26,560 --> 01:16:31,120
Speaker 2: looks at me and she see the derailment and not

1344
01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:33,720
Speaker 2: the thing she created that she can be proud of.

1345
01:16:35,120 --> 01:16:39,360
Speaker 1: Because your parents were mad for forty years. Forty forty years.

1346
01:16:39,400 --> 01:16:43,320
Speaker 1: Forty man, I've had forty years. You mind? Would you

1347
01:16:43,360 --> 01:16:44,160
Speaker 1: going to stick it out?

1348
01:16:44,520 --> 01:16:47,799
Speaker 2: That's what I thought too. They were like, get divorced.

1349
01:16:48,040 --> 01:16:50,040
Speaker 2: Yeah we heard that, and then they really did it.

1350
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:51,599
Speaker 2: I was like, oh sooo, it was crazy.

1351
01:16:52,960 --> 01:16:57,559
Speaker 1: You help your mom get on dating app That's one

1352
01:16:57,600 --> 01:16:59,040
Speaker 1: part of my joke. That's not true.

1353
01:17:00,200 --> 01:17:02,679
Speaker 2: Not so my mom doesn't. My mom doesn't date because

1354
01:17:02,720 --> 01:17:04,360
Speaker 2: she she was a wife her whole life.

1355
01:17:04,479 --> 01:17:06,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, she don't even know what it's like.

1356
01:17:06,360 --> 01:17:08,880
Speaker 2: She don't even she's never dated as an adult ever.

1357
01:17:09,040 --> 01:17:12,519
Speaker 2: She doesn't know what that is, you know what I mean?

1358
01:17:12,760 --> 01:17:16,560
Speaker 2: And I use that joke to really put into perspective

1359
01:17:16,640 --> 01:17:19,120
Speaker 2: how close we are in age. If I was to

1360
01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:21,479
Speaker 2: go on the dating gap, I could very well see

1361
01:17:21,479 --> 01:17:24,960
Speaker 2: my mother on there because we're that close in age,

1362
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:28,799
Speaker 2: and I would not My filter wouldn't be I wouldn't

1363
01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:31,880
Speaker 2: filter her age out of my wow, out of my date.

1364
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:35,960
Speaker 1: That your dad now has a child at sixty he's remarried.

1365
01:17:36,120 --> 01:17:41,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he he'd be having me laughing.

1366
01:17:41,360 --> 01:17:43,599
Speaker 1: He's like, when you find out where you find out, like, damn,

1367
01:17:43,640 --> 01:17:46,080
Speaker 1: I got a brother, that's you'll getting my kids that

1368
01:17:46,720 --> 01:17:50,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, I'm old enough to be so my

1369
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:54,439
Speaker 1: kids uncle is younger than me. Yeah, you know what

1370
01:17:54,560 --> 01:17:54,880
Speaker 1: I mean.

1371
01:17:55,640 --> 01:17:57,200
Speaker 2: I don't even introduce him as that.

1372
01:17:59,120 --> 01:18:02,840
Speaker 1: It is my brother. I was like, this is your uncle, Keith,

1373
01:18:02,960 --> 01:18:09,760
Speaker 1: Uncle Adrian, uncle Ti, this is Demetrius. Yeah, so like

1374
01:18:10,080 --> 01:18:10,439
Speaker 1: it's not.

1375
01:18:11,920 --> 01:18:14,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't even want them to even wrap their

1376
01:18:14,520 --> 01:18:18,760
Speaker 2: mind around the like the way I want them to

1377
01:18:18,960 --> 01:18:25,519
Speaker 2: respect my older siblings. This is your peer just because

1378
01:18:25,560 --> 01:18:29,680
Speaker 2: he has the same parent as me. Don't view him

1379
01:18:29,880 --> 01:18:33,599
Speaker 2: like you view them. That's not the same thing, because

1380
01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:36,560
Speaker 2: y'all are more mature than this thing. If anything, he

1381
01:18:36,760 --> 01:18:39,800
Speaker 2: needs to be learning from y'all. Right, Yeah, I'm not

1382
01:18:39,960 --> 01:18:44,519
Speaker 2: doing that. Yeah so, but my dadda.

1383
01:18:44,680 --> 01:18:45,280
Speaker 1: See, this is.

1384
01:18:47,680 --> 01:18:51,519
Speaker 2: My mother and my father's relationship. You know what's the

1385
01:18:51,640 --> 01:18:55,559
Speaker 2: craziest part about it. I can go back because I talked,

1386
01:18:55,600 --> 01:18:58,720
Speaker 2: Because when something doesn't work, you think about how bad

1387
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:00,040
Speaker 2: it is and how it ended.

1388
01:19:01,760 --> 01:19:01,960
Speaker 1: There.

1389
01:19:02,960 --> 01:19:05,600
Speaker 2: Man, you know how hard it was to beat my

1390
01:19:05,880 --> 01:19:10,920
Speaker 2: parents in like taboo, spades anything. They could read each

1391
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:14,280
Speaker 2: other's bitites forty years. Yeah, for sure.

1392
01:19:15,600 --> 01:19:19,880
Speaker 1: A lot of love there. I've never seen they could

1393
01:19:19,920 --> 01:19:21,280
Speaker 1: finish each other's sinences.

1394
01:19:21,400 --> 01:19:26,479
Speaker 2: They were locked in. I remember how it ended, But

1395
01:19:26,640 --> 01:19:29,679
Speaker 2: I don't forget about all the love and all the good.

1396
01:19:29,800 --> 01:19:34,920
Speaker 2: I had a great I'm not me without them. But

1397
01:19:35,040 --> 01:19:38,800
Speaker 2: I want I talk about the bad because I want

1398
01:19:38,960 --> 01:19:41,880
Speaker 2: people who are going through it to understand how this

1399
01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:48,840
Speaker 2: affects children. And I want my mom. I want my mother,

1400
01:19:50,080 --> 01:19:52,600
Speaker 2: even if she watches this as she gets upset and

1401
01:19:52,720 --> 01:19:55,920
Speaker 2: she's like, see he talking about it again, Come get me.

1402
01:19:56,640 --> 01:19:57,519
Speaker 1: I need you.

1403
01:19:58,840 --> 01:20:01,639
Speaker 2: I want you in my life. I have not given

1404
01:20:01,760 --> 01:20:06,360
Speaker 2: up on us having a relationship. But I'm not him

1405
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:10,720
Speaker 2: what he did to you and how he how he's

1406
01:20:10,800 --> 01:20:13,760
Speaker 2: made you feel. I know I look just like him,

1407
01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:20,040
Speaker 2: but it's just just come be my mother. Just come

1408
01:20:20,160 --> 01:20:23,519
Speaker 2: be my mother, and it'll and I promise I'll put

1409
01:20:23,560 --> 01:20:26,320
Speaker 2: everything behind it. I really don't hold no ill will.

1410
01:20:26,520 --> 01:20:31,720
Speaker 2: I understand your circumstances. But in order for you to

1411
01:20:31,840 --> 01:20:34,920
Speaker 2: have the relationship with your children and your grandchildren that

1412
01:20:35,439 --> 01:20:39,240
Speaker 2: I know you want and you deserve to have, and

1413
01:20:39,360 --> 01:20:41,920
Speaker 2: we all the relationship, all of us deserve to have,

1414
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:47,200
Speaker 2: you gotta let it go. You gotta let it go

1415
01:20:47,960 --> 01:20:49,680
Speaker 2: so we can have each other.

1416
01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:52,120
Speaker 1: Are you are all of you? Are you and your

1417
01:20:52,160 --> 01:20:52,800
Speaker 1: brothers close?

1418
01:20:53,280 --> 01:20:53,479
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1419
01:20:54,960 --> 01:20:59,120
Speaker 1: Very very because you like you smack dab in the middle.

1420
01:20:59,240 --> 01:21:01,720
Speaker 1: So I'm assume there's not a whole lot of It's

1421
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:05,160
Speaker 1: not like there's fifteen twenty years age group between you got.

1422
01:21:05,120 --> 01:21:11,400
Speaker 2: But listen the first five here's the ages. So it's

1423
01:21:12,439 --> 01:21:15,960
Speaker 2: it is. Let me say, I'm thirty eight, so keith

1424
01:21:16,200 --> 01:21:23,960
Speaker 2: forty two, thirty nine, thirty nine, thirty eight, thirty seven.

1425
01:21:24,760 --> 01:21:28,880
Speaker 1: Wow, So your mom probably had the first kid in

1426
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:30,400
Speaker 1: like thirteen fourteen thirteen.

1427
01:21:30,560 --> 01:21:39,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, God, bah no, I know, I get it.

1428
01:21:41,320 --> 01:21:43,439
Speaker 1: I'm past all of it.

1429
01:21:44,640 --> 01:21:47,600
Speaker 2: Just come just come be my mama. That's all I

1430
01:21:47,880 --> 01:21:48,160
Speaker 2: just come to be.

1431
01:21:48,320 --> 01:21:50,040
Speaker 1: Have you had that conversation with her? Have you ever

1432
01:21:50,120 --> 01:21:52,080
Speaker 1: said have you ever said that and had a conversation when.

1433
01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:59,840
Speaker 2: Your mom's hard? It's hard because it's hard to accept

1434
01:22:01,120 --> 01:22:06,760
Speaker 2: how your pain affected your children. You know what I mean,

1435
01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:11,439
Speaker 2: she was a child herself, right, exactly. It's hard to

1436
01:22:12,520 --> 01:22:16,880
Speaker 2: so when I talk about it's the defensiveness, you know,

1437
01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:21,320
Speaker 2: you have to hear what did I say? I said

1438
01:22:21,400 --> 01:22:24,800
Speaker 2: that our relationship isn't strange, and it's because of the

1439
01:22:24,880 --> 01:22:29,360
Speaker 2: things she dealt with. And I understand she was just

1440
01:22:29,479 --> 01:22:32,240
Speaker 2: a kid and everything and you have to let it go.

1441
01:22:33,920 --> 01:22:35,840
Speaker 2: And a lot of times her response to that is

1442
01:22:36,479 --> 01:22:37,599
Speaker 2: so I was a bad momb.

1443
01:22:39,080 --> 01:22:39,800
Speaker 1: I didn't say it was.

1444
01:22:40,560 --> 01:22:44,960
Speaker 2: That's why it's hard to have the conversation because there's

1445
01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:49,000
Speaker 2: a place she has to get to within conflict resolution

1446
01:22:50,160 --> 01:22:53,600
Speaker 2: that she just ain't got there because her mind is

1447
01:22:53,720 --> 01:22:58,360
Speaker 2: what it was. They say that you stop some parts

1448
01:22:58,400 --> 01:23:01,680
Speaker 2: of your development once you had children. Her, So sometimes

1449
01:23:02,240 --> 01:23:04,519
Speaker 2: I'm talking to the thirteen year old version of my

1450
01:23:04,600 --> 01:23:09,840
Speaker 2: mom and in order to fix it. I'm gonna have

1451
01:23:09,960 --> 01:23:12,760
Speaker 2: to get her past that. But it breaks my heart

1452
01:23:13,600 --> 01:23:18,840
Speaker 2: sometimes when I'm trying and it's not working, So I

1453
01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:25,280
Speaker 2: ghost when it gets hard. You know, Oh, I can't

1454
01:23:25,360 --> 01:23:25,960
Speaker 2: stand you, bro.

1455
01:23:29,640 --> 01:23:32,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's gonna be there's gonna be a day you're

1456
01:23:32,000 --> 01:23:34,360
Speaker 1: not gonna have her, and you're gonna wish you had.

1457
01:23:35,080 --> 01:23:40,639
Speaker 1: I know, don't tomorrow ain't promised. I ain't nobody heeding,

1458
01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:43,760
Speaker 1: not a because we all got an appointment that we

1459
01:23:43,840 --> 01:23:46,320
Speaker 1: can't reschedule. We just don't know what it is. Yeah,

1460
01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:49,519
Speaker 1: don't make that mistake, man, Go make things right with

1461
01:23:49,600 --> 01:23:49,920
Speaker 1: your mom.

1462
01:23:50,680 --> 01:23:57,360
Speaker 3: Ryan Davis, he said, some brother, all my life, running

1463
01:23:57,400 --> 01:24:02,000
Speaker 3: all my life, sacrifice, paid the price and want to slice,

1464
01:24:02,320 --> 01:24:04,840
Speaker 3: got to brow the dice wap all my life. I've

1465
01:24:04,840 --> 01:24:08,000
Speaker 3: been grinding all my life. Yeah, all my life, grinding

1466
01:24:08,080 --> 01:24:12,200
Speaker 3: all my life, sacrifice Ussel paid the price and want

1467
01:24:12,240 --> 01:24:15,280
Speaker 3: to slice, got to brow the dice sap all my life.

1468
01:24:15,360 --> 01:24:16,639
Speaker 2: I've been grinding all my life.

1469
01:24:17,600 --> 01:24:19,360
Speaker 1: M hmm