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Speaker 1: We're all first time humans. We are going to learn,

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Speaker 1: We're going to change our minds. We're never on a

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Speaker 1: straight shot. Anywhere we take one step in any direction,

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Speaker 1: we're either going to keep going in that direction because

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Speaker 1: we're going to realize if we're doing things right, or

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Speaker 1: we're going to learn from it and that's going to

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Speaker 1: help us go in a different direction.

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Speaker 2: What's happened in everyone? EMILYA Badi.

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Speaker 1: Here.

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Speaker 3: You are listening to episode three hundred and fifty six,

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Speaker 3: A Hurdle, a whileless focused podcast where I talk to

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Speaker 3: inspirational people about everything from their highest hies and toughest.

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Speaker 2: Moments to essential tips on.

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Speaker 3: How to live a healthier, happier, more motivated life. We

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Speaker 3: all go through our fair share of hurdles. My goal

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Speaker 3: through these discussions is to empower you to better navigate

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Speaker 3: yours and move with intention so that you can stride

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Speaker 3: to your own big potential and of course have some

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Speaker 3: fun along the way. For today's conversation, I am bringing

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Speaker 3: in my buddy, Liz Beatcroft. She's a licensed clitical social

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Speaker 3: worker and she specializes working in athlete and high performer

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Speaker 3: mental health. This is Liz's second appearance on the show.

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Speaker 3: I'll link her first episode in the show notes, when

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Speaker 3: we spoke about how to make a five year plan

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Speaker 3: and beat overwhelm, and today she's back talking about mental

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Speaker 3: strategies to show up as your most authentic self, among

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Speaker 3: many other things. We get into everything from how to

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Speaker 3: own your know and navigate overwhelm, to speaking of overwhelm,

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Speaker 3: how to navigate a burnout, and the importance of speaking

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Speaker 3: to others about what it is that you are going through.

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Speaker 3: Maybe that's a therapist, maybe that's a life coach, maybe

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Speaker 3: it's a friend. And we talk about the benefits of

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Speaker 3: speaking to all of those individuals in our conversation today.

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Speaker 2: But whatever it is that.

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Speaker 3: You're going through, knowing that not only are you not

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Speaker 3: alone in how you feel, but there is always going

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Speaker 3: to be someone to help you hold it down now,

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Speaker 3: as Liz and I talk about in today's episode, she also,

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Speaker 3: aside from being a licensed clinical social worker, is obsessed

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Speaker 3: with sneaker culture. We have that in common and a

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Speaker 3: Disney adult, which I learn a few things about.

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Speaker 2: In today's episode.

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Speaker 3: She also owns her own private practice and you can

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Speaker 3: learn more about that, plus so many amazing tips about

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Speaker 3: how to take care of your own mental health and

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Speaker 3: wellbeing over on social that is called mental SASH MEANTL

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Speaker 3: dot s E s H. Make sure you're following along

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Speaker 3: with Hurdle over on the socials, it's at Hurdle Podcast.

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Speaker 3: I am over at Emily a body and on the

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Speaker 3: subject of mental health. I've been talking up the Blue

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Speaker 3: Gen Mile from a six all month along and today

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Speaker 3: is no exception for those of you who are out

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Speaker 3: at the loop. In twenty twenty, a six athlete Johnny

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Speaker 3: Gregork ran the Blue Gen Mile to support and raise

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Speaker 3: funds for mental health awareness and our nervous late brother.

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Speaker 3: Five years and thousands of miles run in blue jeans later,

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Speaker 3: we are back for more miles, more awareness, and more donations.

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Speaker 3: This may put on your favorite pair of blue jeans

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Speaker 3: and join us for the fifth annual ASEX.

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Speaker 2: Blue Gene Mile.

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Speaker 3: Each mile is a step toward awareness and funds for

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Speaker 3: mental health.

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Speaker 2: You can learn more at asex dot com.

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Speaker 3: One last bit of housekeeping here, the Weekly Hurdle newsletter

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Speaker 3: is getting a lot of traction over on substack. And

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Speaker 3: I know I say this all the time in the intro,

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Speaker 3: but that is the place where I am constantly answering

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Speaker 3: my most frequently asked questions, so make sure that you're subscribed.

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Speaker 2: The link to do.

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Speaker 3: That comes out every single Friday is in the show notes.

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Speaker 2: With that, let's get to it. Let's get to hurdling today.

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Speaker 3: I am sitting down with Liz Beecroft. She's a psychotherapist

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Speaker 3: and the founder of Mental SASH.

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Speaker 2: Liz. Welcome to Hurdle.

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Speaker 1: Hi, thank you for having me. Nice, it's been a minute.

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Speaker 1: I mean I was on Hurdle years and years ago.

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Speaker 1: I think in like the earlier stages perhaps, and now

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Speaker 1: we're back about me.

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Speaker 3: I am honored that we're back. I am so happy

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Speaker 3: to see you. And before we talk about anything today,

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Speaker 3: I want to know what's on feet.

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Speaker 2: What sneakers are we wearing today?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm actually wearing bone Bus slippers. There's

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Speaker 1: a very no shoes in the house household. But lately

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Speaker 1: what I've been wearing as far as footwear goes, I've

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Speaker 1: been a really heavy Adidas girl lately. So like a

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Speaker 1: lot of the Adidas sl seventy two's, the Ultra boot posts.

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Speaker 1: Trying to think what else, A lot of A six

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Speaker 1: are kind of heavy in my rotation these days. So

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Speaker 1: that's where we're at.

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Speaker 2: That's where we're at, Liz is a sneaker icon?

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Speaker 3: Was there like an initial thing that sparked your personal

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Speaker 3: love for lifestyle sneakers because I know you have a

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Speaker 3: background as an athlete, but lifestyle and performance are two

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Speaker 3: completely different worlds.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. No, one hundred percent. I think growing up the

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Speaker 1: sports I played for basketball, softball, and soccer, So basketball

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Speaker 1: is what got me into sneakers. But then, you know,

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Speaker 1: as I matured and started finding more of my personal style,

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Speaker 1: I think it really came down to just like I

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Speaker 1: can't wear a chunky basketball sneaker out and get a

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Speaker 1: fit off as easily and discomfort wise, Like I also

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Speaker 1: am a big Disney adult, so you know, you need

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Speaker 1: a good pair of lifestyle sneakers to stomp around the

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Speaker 1: parks and if you're hitting thirty k steps a day.

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Speaker 1: So that's really kind of what got me into more

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Speaker 1: of a lifestyle sneaker.

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Speaker 2: I love the phrase I'm also a big Disney adult.

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Speaker 1: I am. I have my Jimney Crickett behind me and

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Speaker 1: on like I am going to Disney on Friday, I'm

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Speaker 1: flying down to Orlando.

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Speaker 2: So she's a Disney girl. Ade did you grow up

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Speaker 2: going to the parks as well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, my parents, I'm an only child, and that was

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Speaker 1: kind of like our vacation every year we would go

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Speaker 1: to Disney World. I love it. I just have a

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Speaker 1: lot of really good memories there. And I'm also really

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Speaker 1: interested in their attention to detail. They blow me away

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Speaker 1: with like how they make like the magic happen. Especially

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Speaker 1: in the parks. There's a really cool tour called the

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Speaker 1: Keys to the Kingdom Tour, and they actually take you

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Speaker 1: in the underground tunnels and you get to see like

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Speaker 1: how they do everything behind the scenes, which I'm completely

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Speaker 1: fascinated by. So yeah, I love that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 2: Love that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 3: You mentioned up having a background in sports yourself, playing

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Speaker 3: an athlete in multiple different sports. When you were coming

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Speaker 3: up within sport, did you have access to anyone who

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Speaker 3: has the same sort of skill set that you have today.

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Speaker 1: No, Honestly, that's really what got me into the field

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Speaker 1: I'm in today is because growing up I struggled majorly

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Speaker 1: with anxiety. And I'm also from a really small town

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Speaker 1: in Pennsylvania called Frackville, Pennsylvania, which is very heavily like

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Speaker 1: the Coal region. Sports are kind of a religion there.

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Speaker 1: And it's very much just like suck up, suck it

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Speaker 1: up mentality, like no, don't show emotion, be tough, you know,

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Speaker 1: push through it. And if you know, emotions were ever

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Speaker 1: a thing, people really like shy away from having those

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Speaker 1: conversations and you know, call you a lot of profanities

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Speaker 1: if you show emotions. So no, it was not a

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Speaker 1: part of my experience as an athlete growing up. And

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Speaker 1: you know, I've had toxic coaches. I've had you know,

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Speaker 1: teammates who just like didn't understand. And I would go

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Speaker 1: to sleep away basketball camps and I can still remember

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Speaker 1: like having incredibly terrible panic attacks and so much so

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Speaker 1: my parents would have to get a hotel nearby wherever

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Speaker 1: we would be, and basically my mom would give me

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Speaker 1: Benadryl every night just to kind of like zonk me

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Speaker 1: and help me fall asleep and sleep through the night.

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Speaker 1: But like I would be just sobbing and crying and

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Speaker 1: just completely struggling with separation anxiety, and my teammates would

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Speaker 1: all kind of look at me like I was had

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Speaker 1: something wrong with me, and no one really knew how

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Speaker 1: to intervene or step in, and especially coaches that kind

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Speaker 1: of like you know, made me feel like it was

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Speaker 1: a problem rather than like offering to support or figure

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Speaker 1: out like a solution. So yeah, that's really what got

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Speaker 1: me into where I'm at now.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And how did all of that make you feel

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Speaker 3: in the moment? Clearly feeling a little bit isolated, having

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Speaker 3: all of these feelings everyone looking at you like you

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Speaker 3: are other. Do you remember or recall how that manifested

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Speaker 3: and how that affected your gameplay as well?

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Speaker 1: I noticed a huge shift when I got to college

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Speaker 1: and when I actually had to live away from home,

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Speaker 1: and that dynamic of like figuring out you know, young adulthood,

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Speaker 1: navigating like life more so as an independent person and

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Speaker 1: playing a sport was really a hard transition, so much

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Speaker 1: so that it like really messed with me as an athlete,

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Speaker 1: especially in softball. I was like a very very good

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Speaker 1: softball player and had like over a five hundred batting

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Speaker 1: average in high school, was like player of the year

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Speaker 1: two years running and like the local media, And then

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Speaker 1: going into college like struggled with the transition of like,

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Speaker 1: you know, being around other athletes that are also all

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Speaker 1: really good and having like, you know, a bit of

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Speaker 1: like an ego from high school, and then also struggling

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Speaker 1: with like not having my family or my like close

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Speaker 1: support system nearby when I needed them, so that it

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Speaker 1: affected me so much so that I would my batting

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Speaker 1: average went down. My hitting like I just got into

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Speaker 1: this horrible slump where I would overthink everything to the

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Speaker 1: point where I was like over analyzing. I was actually

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Speaker 1: trying to perform the best I could, but in doing so,

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Speaker 1: I was I was overdoing it. I wasn't just like

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Speaker 1: living and being in the moment and showing up and

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Speaker 1: doing what I knew how to do. I was almost

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Speaker 1: hyper aware and hyper focused so much so that it

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Speaker 1: was detrimental to my performance.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's something that's so relatable whether we're talking

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Speaker 3: about sports, so we're just talking about life. Right When

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Speaker 3: anxiety kicks in, it can really mess with your ability

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Speaker 3: to be where your feed are, using your expertise that

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Speaker 3: you have. Now, when someone comes to you and they

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Speaker 3: share a similar sentiment, where do you even begin on

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Speaker 3: helping them get to a place where they feel like

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Speaker 3: they can be more present in their situation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think first it's really taking the approach of

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Speaker 1: like identifying like that you're a human. You know, we

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Speaker 1: all have emotions, We all struggle and first really nailing

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Speaker 1: in the fact that like our self worth and our

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Speaker 1: identity is tied to so much more outside of our sport,

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Speaker 1: and that we are not defined by our wins, our titles,

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Speaker 1: you know, our championships that you know, sport often tells

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Speaker 1: us we are and really helping people develop that awareness,

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Speaker 1: and I think once we're able to kind of develop that,

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Speaker 1: then we can really kind of hone in on what

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Speaker 1: our specific goals look like. And is there you know

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Speaker 1: that cross pollination of like stress from the outside world

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Speaker 1: and just life in general impact your performance as an athlete,

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Speaker 1: or is it, you know, something more on the mental

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Speaker 1: performance side of things. So that's kind of like deciphering

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Speaker 1: really where we start and then figuring out goals and

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Speaker 1: strategies from there.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like it could be simple, but also in practice,

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Speaker 3: I feel as though it would be extremely difficult for

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Speaker 3: those that are really heavily immersed in all of these feelings.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really hard to just even identify our emotions, right,

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Speaker 1: because when you're an athlete, sometimes your emotions are what

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Speaker 1: motivate you, are what propel you forward. You have to

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Speaker 1: kind of lean in on those strong emotions especially like

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Speaker 1: I don't imagine running, I'm by no means a runner.

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Speaker 1: But like when you get that jolt of energy or

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Speaker 1: you know that intense feelings that you're feeling, you can

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Speaker 1: channel them in ways that help your performance. But also

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Speaker 1: being able to kind of slow down and identify what

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Speaker 1: those emotions are is incredibly important. And knowing like is

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Speaker 1: this emotion helpful in my performance or is this something

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Speaker 1: that is damaging or harmful.

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Speaker 2: Something that I think is really useful.

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Speaker 3: Also is when you can identify an emotion or a

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Speaker 3: feeling and recognize that it can coexist and.

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Speaker 2: Be an and both situation. Right.

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Speaker 3: So, when we talk, for instance, about perhaps like the

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Speaker 3: fear or anxiety that come hand in hand with showing

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Speaker 3: up to do whatever your given sport is, whether it's

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Speaker 3: weightlifting or kettlebells, are running or softball or dancing or

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Speaker 3: insert sport name here, you can experience that feeling of

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Speaker 3: fear and anxiety, and you can recognize that you are

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Speaker 3: excited or you can be affirmed in the fact that

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Speaker 3: you are good at this particular modality, right, And so

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Speaker 3: that place of and both can be a really challenging

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Speaker 3: thing to come to terms with that it can be

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Speaker 3: multiple feelings at once.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. I often actually pull up the

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Speaker 1: Yerks Dodson law. I don't know if you've ever seen

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Speaker 1: the curve, but it talks about how anxiety is a

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Speaker 1: necessary part of performance in any scope of performance, whether

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Speaker 1: it's work, career, sport, you name it. But you need

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Speaker 1: to have some level of anxiety to help you perform

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Speaker 1: because anxiety does help keep us safe to some degree.

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Speaker 1: It helps keep us, you know, prepared, focused, driven in

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Speaker 1: some cases. But you have to find that sweet spot

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Speaker 1: of where having the right amount of anxiety is helpful

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Speaker 1: versus having not enough anxiety where you're maybe overly confident

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Speaker 1: or not as passionate about it, or too much anxiety

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Speaker 1: then it becomes harmful.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like that phrase that we hear so often,

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Speaker 3: like when you worry just shows that you care.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's challenging. It's challenging to come to terms with.

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Speaker 3: So for you, as you mentioned, all of these feelings

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Speaker 3: really impacted the way that you showed up with in sport,

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Speaker 3: and you gave some examples of how that was for

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Speaker 3: the worst. How did you cope with that and eventually

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Speaker 3: move through those feelings to get a little bit less

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Speaker 3: in your own way.

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Speaker 1: It took me years. I mean, my parents had me

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Speaker 1: in therapy when I was young for the homesickness part

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Speaker 1: of it, but it never really translated into talking about

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Speaker 1: how it showed up in sport for me. So it

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Speaker 1: me probably until after college to really kind of have

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Speaker 1: that realization of how the anxiety was showing up in

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Speaker 1: other areas of my life. Because academically I did really well,

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Speaker 1: I did okay socially. I was an only child and

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Speaker 1: my parents had me and a lot of social activities,

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Speaker 1: which was great. But at the same time I looked

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Speaker 1: like I was fitting in. But I think at times

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Speaker 1: I was also masking a lot. And I am, you know,

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Speaker 1: relatively high functioning when it comes to managing my anxiety

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Speaker 1: and at times depression, and so I'm a good camouflager.

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Speaker 1: I can blend in when I need to, but it

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Speaker 1: was also really important to understand how that's not always

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Speaker 1: the most helpful, and so having a lot of realizations

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Speaker 1: after college. And I think also just as an adult,

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Speaker 1: we grow up, we have more life experience, We're able

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Speaker 1: to understand certain concepts and our own values and beliefs

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Speaker 1: kind of start getting challenged, and a lot of that

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Speaker 1: stuff definitely played a part in it too. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was really just working with a therapist as an

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Speaker 1: adult after when I was in grad school actually for

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Speaker 1: social work and really just trying to understand like my

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Speaker 1: place in the world. And after college, the adjustment of

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Speaker 1: like not really having sport in my life anymore was

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Speaker 1: showing up because it still was a part of me,

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Speaker 1: but it also still impacted me after like I've retired.

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Speaker 1: You know, from being an athlete.

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Speaker 3: You use that term camouflaging, and it's something that I

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Speaker 3: can certainly relate to when you feel as though you

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Speaker 3: should be acting a certain way to manage, cope with,

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Speaker 3: get through a certain situation. For someone who is listening

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Speaker 3: that that concept really resonates with them as well, what

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Speaker 3: tips or tricks do you have to get away from

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Speaker 3: doing that? I feel like there are so many benefits,

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Speaker 3: and please correct me if I'm wrong, but there are

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Speaker 3: perks to feeling those feelings and working through them rather

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Speaker 3: than putting them on the back burner. But with that said,

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Speaker 3: there also could be a time and place for a

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Speaker 3: allowing yourself to kind of indulge in that camouflage situation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent, And what I would say is

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Speaker 1: really focusing on the awareness piece, like having those daily

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Speaker 1: check ins with yourself, whether you're doing that through journaling.

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Speaker 1: I'm a huge proponent of the app called how We Feel,

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Speaker 1: and I recommend this to clients all the time, especially

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Speaker 1: a lot of my clients because they're on the go

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Speaker 1: and they don't have time to really be like journaling

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Speaker 1: and write anything's down. But it's a really cool app.

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Speaker 1: It's free and you can actually add friends on it,

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Speaker 1: so it's a great way to also kind of like

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Speaker 1: communicate your feelings and emotions with your friends. But essentially

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Speaker 1: it's like a big feelings wheel and you just kind

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Speaker 1: of scroll through, you pick the emotion you're feeling, and

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Speaker 1: then it'll kind of prompt you to like type in

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Speaker 1: like what are you doing, who are you with? And

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Speaker 1: over time it kind of tracks like a chart to

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Speaker 1: see like are there patterns in your emotions based on

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Speaker 1: what you're doing, where you're at, who you're with. And

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Speaker 1: I love that because it really forces you to slow down,

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Speaker 1: check in with yourself and how you're feeling, and being

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Speaker 1: able to gauge like how much battery do I have

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Speaker 1: left in my tank right now, you know, because when

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Speaker 1: we are camouflaging and masking, it is incredibly draining for

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Speaker 1: us emotionally, and that can lead to a lot of

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Speaker 1: other things like burnout or even at times perpetuate avoidance,

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Speaker 1: which exacerbates the anxiety. And so by slowing down and

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Speaker 1: checking in, it gives ourselves the ability to say like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I can do this right now, I can get through this,

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Speaker 1: I have enough energy to maintain or no, I really

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Speaker 1: need to like slow down and rest and recharge, and

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Speaker 1: it's okay, you know, for me to tell my friends

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Speaker 1: or who I'm with that, like, hey, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to be one hundred percent today because this is what

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Speaker 1: I'm going through. So I think it's the awareness and

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Speaker 1: then also if we are pulling back a little bit

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Speaker 1: and you know, just leaning into how we're actually feeling

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Speaker 1: in that moment, the communication piece of it and like

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Speaker 1: sharing with friends, family, whoever, to let people know that, like,

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Speaker 1: this is what my current state looks like.

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Speaker 3: You said the burnout buzzword, and I'd be remiss if

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Speaker 3: we didn't touch on burnout before moving forward now, because

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Speaker 3: it is something that so many people really resonate with.

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Speaker 3: For someone that that may be experiencing burnout, but hasn't

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Speaker 3: necessarily identified it as such. What are some of the classic,

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Speaker 3: let's say symptoms or how does that typically present itself

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Speaker 3: in a way that we can identify?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, this is a good one. There's I think

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Speaker 1: I don't have a memorized but there's eleven or twelve

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Speaker 1: stages to burn.

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Speaker 2: Out oof.

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Speaker 1: And I normally I normally have this on like a

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Speaker 1: when I do internal workplace trainings, as is one of

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Speaker 1: the slides that I'll like talk about and present on.

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Speaker 1: And it's really a great way to if you know,

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Speaker 1: anyone's listening and wants to google it by all means,

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Speaker 1: but it's a good way to kind of check like

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Speaker 1: the slow progression of what burnout looks like. And so

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Speaker 1: it kind of starts with actually overperforming, right like, you're

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Speaker 1: really motivated, you're really driven, you want to prove yourself,

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Speaker 1: you want to make everyone around you happy. It could

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Speaker 1: be some people pleasing behaviors, it could be it's a

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Speaker 1: lot of setting yourself on fire to keep others warm,

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Speaker 1: right Like you're putting everyone else before you in order

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Speaker 1: to make, you know, show up in a certain way.

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Speaker 1: But in doing that, we're not giving ourselves to rest

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Speaker 1: and the recharging that we need, and that's what kind

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Speaker 1: of starts the strikes the match for the burnout. And

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Speaker 1: so then we either become overly exhausted, we might become depressed,

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Speaker 1: we might start feeling resentment, we might actually start then

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Speaker 1: slacking on our performance. And when we kind of overperform

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Speaker 1: to prove ourselves in a way, that also then sets

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Speaker 1: the bar and the standard of like what other people

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Speaker 1: expect from us. And then so when we do reel

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Speaker 1: back because we need to rest or a charge and

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Speaker 1: start setting boundaries, that's also then where that like, well

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Speaker 1: you're not performing the same way, you know, discussions type

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Speaker 1: of like start to come up. So that's part of it.

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Speaker 1: It's you know, maybe isolation or decrease in social activity,

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Speaker 1: it's feeling just completely mentally and physically depleted. It can

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Speaker 1: get to the point where you're feeling like clinically depressed,

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Speaker 1: clinically anxious. Your relationship can start to become damaged because

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Speaker 1: you start blaming people for things that are going wrong,

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Speaker 1: not being able to take accountability, a lot of just

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Speaker 1: like messiness. That doesn't feel good. It's not good for you,

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Speaker 1: it's not good for anyone. Around around you as well,

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Speaker 1: and so that's kind of the mumbo jumble of burnout.

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Speaker 1: But there's a more clear eleven step phase that you

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Speaker 1: can worry about. It.

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Speaker 3: When you said setting yourself on fire to keep others warm,

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Speaker 3: that hits me in my soul, like getting to a

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Speaker 3: place where you want to be and have this desire

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Speaker 3: to be so productive and not only the service of

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Speaker 3: yourself but in the service of others, and in that act,

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Speaker 3: it is not something that is attainable for long periods

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Speaker 3: of time. We are not meant to be functioning at

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Speaker 3: two hundred and twenty five percent.

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Speaker 1: No, no, But it's also so common in high performers

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Speaker 1: because we want to overachieve, we want to be the best,

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Speaker 1: but we have to find the balance of being the

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Speaker 1: best ourselves first, not necessarily showing that up that way

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Speaker 1: for others.

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Speaker 2: How do you find the balance, Liz.

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Speaker 1: Awareness, resting boundaries. You know, I'm a huge, huge believer

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Speaker 1: of like the mind body connection, right, Like our bodies

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Speaker 1: typically will start to tell us first how we're feeling,

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Speaker 1: before you know, we get there mentally, and so really

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Speaker 1: just checking in with ourselves, doing body scans, meditations, anything

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Speaker 1: that is considered rest or charging. We have to kind

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Speaker 1: of pivot our mindset and think of that as being

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Speaker 1: productive rather than lazy or wasteful or you know, not purposeful,

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Speaker 1: because it is it actually is purposeful. It is productive.

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Speaker 1: We need to slow ourselves down, We need to check

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Speaker 1: in with ourselves because that's what gives us the insight

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Speaker 1: into what we need to do next.

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Speaker 3: When was the last time that you feel as though

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Speaker 3: burnout really got you down bad?

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Speaker 1: God, not too long ago, honest, like last week to

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Speaker 1: be completely fair. Yeah, there was a period of time

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Speaker 1: where like every weekend I had stuff going on. I

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Speaker 1: was like traveling, work stuff. I've recently taken on more clients.

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Speaker 1: I work with a lot of MLB athletes and MLB

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Speaker 1: organizations and so right now the season kind of just

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Speaker 1: recently kicking off, like things have been full speed ahead

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Speaker 1: right now, and it's a lot. It's a lot. Like

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Speaker 1: my schedule is not the most standard schedule, especially when

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Speaker 1: you're working with athletes, like you're really working around their schedule,

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Speaker 1: Like they're getting home at three am sometimes and that

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Speaker 1: means like they have to be at the field the

438
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 1: next day for one o'clock. You're getting up at seven

439
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,200
Speaker 1: am when they have the only time availity to meet

440
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,920
Speaker 1: for a session, or you're sometimes meeting at nine o'clock

441
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: at night, ten o'clock at night and in hotel lobbies,

442
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 1: you know, like in random places, and it's a lot

443
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 1: And because of that, at least for me, I thrive

444
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,439
Speaker 1: really well when I have some semblance of structure. So

445
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 1: I have to kind of always remind myself that, like,

446
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 1: my career is never really going to be the same,

447
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,919
Speaker 1: it's never going to be fully structured, but like giving

448
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 1: myself breaks, So I don't typically work on weekends unless

449
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: I actutely have to. I don't, you know, knowing what

450
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: like my boundaries are and really trying to respect those

451
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: for myself as a form of self care.

452
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that my boundaries are a form of

453
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 3: self care. Someone here's I work with a lot of

454
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 3: MLB athletes in addition to some of the other high

455
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,919
Speaker 3: performers that you interact with on the regular, and we

456
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 3: want to know how, So when did you start working with.

457
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 2: Athletes at that elite level?

458
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 1: Probably about four years ago, three three four years ago,

459
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 1: And it was a weird way that it came to be.

460
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,879
Speaker 1: I always wanted to work with athletes, but as a

461
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 1: social worker that's not necessarily like the training that they offer.

462
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,439
Speaker 1: It's starting to become a thing now there is a

463
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 1: lot of sports social work certification program we can do

464
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 1: and it's starting to become more well known. But for

465
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: so long, within the sports world or the industry of sports,

466
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 1: there was always the mental performer as coaches, and they

467
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 1: are kind of like the bread and butter of like

468
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,719
Speaker 1: when you think of mental health and sport. But now

469
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 1: what's starting to happen is this discussion around the combination

470
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 1: of a mental performance coach and a sports therapist. And

471
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 1: that's where I've kind of fit in is as a

472
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 1: sports therapist because I focus more on the holistic side

473
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,239
Speaker 1: of it, like your life outside of sport and your

474
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,360
Speaker 1: identity outside of sport, but how a lot of those

475
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 1: stressors inevitably affect how you perform in your career as

476
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 1: an athlete. And the performance coaches, they typically focus more

477
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: on the mindset of the sport itself. You know, how

478
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: you're staying focused, the visualization techniques, the mindfulness practices, a

479
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 1: lot of the things that show up, you know, performance

480
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 1: anxiety wise, and there's obviously overlap between both. But what's

481
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: starting to happen now are conversations around like the benefits

482
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: of having both in your corner, you know, as an athlete,

483
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 1: because we need to, you know, view the athlete as

484
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: a whole person, not just someone who steps on a

485
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 1: quarter field. And so a couple of years ago, I started,

486
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,880
Speaker 1: you know, posting online doing a lot of the influencer

487
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,439
Speaker 1: type work. I don't even know what, I would call it, content, creator, whatever,

488
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 1: and that kind of opened some doors within sports where

489
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,400
Speaker 1: sneaker brands, which you know, led to me having opportunities

490
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 1: to work with different athletes from a creator standpoint. Through

491
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 1: that led to meeting with you know, just having connections

492
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:27,440
Speaker 1: with different agents, different athletes themselves. And now fast forward

493
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: to where I'm at today. I'm you know, have a

494
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 1: lot of mentors that are performance coaches that you know,

495
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 1: really do look out for me, and so I'm in

496
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 1: a lot of the referral networks now with the team.

497
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to ever work directly with the team

498
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 1: because that is an incredibly busy, pectic job to have.

499
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:51,120
Speaker 1: I respect those people so so much, but I'm kind

500
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,959
Speaker 1: of like an outside source that if you know, they

501
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 1: have someone who's struggling. Here's Liz let's you know, start

502
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 1: meeting for therapy and that's.

503
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 3: Where I'm at, So you would want to be the

504
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 3: Phillies on team therapist.

505
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 1: No. I Actually Dina Noblaza, who is the head of

506
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: mental health at the Phillies, is one of my mentors

507
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 1: and I adore her. She is like the best woman ever.

508
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: But no, I tell her that. I actually just saw

509
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 1: her last week. I was like, I would never want

510
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: your job. I love that you're doing this and you're

511
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: great at it, and she truly is so talented and

512
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 1: great at what she's doing. But no, I don't think

513
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 1: I could do that.

514
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,120
Speaker 3: It's always good to have those people that you can

515
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:33,919
Speaker 3: lean on and look to you for advice in that

516
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 3: mentorship and just for some context here, Liz is also,

517
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,120
Speaker 3: in addition to being a Disney adult, a massive Phillies fan.

518
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 1: Oh yes, die hard. And it's funny because like some

519
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,119
Speaker 1: of the teams I work with, I'm in the referral

520
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 1: network as well with the Mets, and so there's a

521
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:52,439
Speaker 1: lot of just jokes that are often had, Like I

522
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 1: like sometimes I'll wear my Phillies hats and I always

523
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,400
Speaker 1: have a backup hat in my office, so if I'm

524
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: on a session I like quickly will change before so

525
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,880
Speaker 1: that I'm not you know, respecting or you know, doing anything.

526
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 2: There backup hat I'm dead.

527
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my god, I love it.

528
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: Well.

529
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:09,479
Speaker 3: I think it's good again that you have like a

530
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,199
Speaker 3: firm grasp on what it is that does excite and

531
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 3: inspire you, right, and that way you can navigate and

532
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 3: move and shake in a way that feels really authentic

533
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 3: to who it is that you are.

534
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's great, and it's tough to as a woman,

535
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: I think because we're I'm at that point in my

536
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 1: life we're trying to think about like maybe do we

537
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:28,679
Speaker 1: want to have kids, like, you know, what does that

538
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,679
Speaker 1: look like? And I still don't know that answer. But

539
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 1: you know, if I had a career like that where

540
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 1: I was traveling every other day to different cities, like

541
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 1: having the craziest hours, would be almost impossible to even

542
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: think about. So yeah, yeah, that's another I think reality

543
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 1: of being a woman in sport.

544
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:49,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent.

545
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 3: You mentioned sports psychologists obviously ingrained in the field that

546
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 3: you're in, you yourself a therapist for people that are

547
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,880
Speaker 3: listening to this that may not have a solid grasp

548
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 3: on perhaps the differences between being a sports psyche, a

549
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 3: sports therapist. I know a lot of people work with

550
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 3: someone like a life coach. Can we shed some color

551
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 3: here on the differences between those different types of professions.

552
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean so when you think of

553
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: like I'm a licensed social worker, a certified Sports Performance

554
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 1: coaches like a CMPC, and then you know, like life

555
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: coaches or performance coaches, right, Like, there's it's really important

556
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: to kind of just like look at the initials at

557
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 1: the end of the name, and that will kind of

558
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 1: tell you, like what this person is trained in as

559
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 1: a social worker. I'm trained in more of you know,

560
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 1: the holistic overall relationship from a social aspect, right, So,

561
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 1: like you're I understand obviously like the mental health side

562
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 1: of things, and that's you know, where my clinical training

563
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 1: is based in. But what I do primarily is focus

564
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: on the athlete as a human being first, So who

565
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: you are as a husband, a spouse, a wife, who

566
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 1: you are you know as a co worker, who you

567
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: are as a parent, perhaps a brother, sibling, what other

568
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 1: life stressors are going on, like your identity outside of sport,

569
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 1: but how all that impacts you as an athlete. And

570
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: then sports performance coaches like they will work on some

571
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 1: of that stuff as well. There's over a lot for sure,

572
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: but they're really trained in understanding how your mind works

573
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 1: as an athlete. So when you're you know, for example,

574
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 1: for maybe a basketball player, if you're having trouble with

575
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 1: free throws, like, maybe some of the techniques that could

576
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 1: help you from a mental side, the mental side of

577
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: sport to improve the anxiety around shooting free throws. So

578
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 1: it might be like visualization practices or you know, thinking

579
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 1: of defining your why, different things like that that really

580
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 1: help just zone in on the mental side of sport.

581
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: And then life coaches they're not trained from a clinical level,

582
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 1: but they can really work through your like mindset. They

583
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: can work through like defining goals. And I know life

584
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: coaches are different. Everyone has their own kind of notion

585
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 1: what they like to work on.

586
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 3: But if that same person that was having a problem

587
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 3: with their free throw came to work with you, how

588
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 3: would you approach their situation?

589
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 1: So I would talk to them first and get a

590
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 1: really good understanding of what is it about free throws that, like,

591
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 1: what are their thoughts in general on a free throw?

592
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 1: Like what what do you think of it? Do you

593
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 1: think it's stupid you think it's helpful, like when it

594
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: comes to just the sport, and then from there I

595
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: would try and really dig deep to try and define

596
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 1: like what their thinking patterns are around free throws, like

597
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 1: what is kind of creating the anxiety for you from

598
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 1: more of like a CBT lens, and then understanding how

599
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 1: that thought might play into their behavior, which might be

600
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: are you mechanically doing everything right from a technical perspective?

601
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: Is it truly mental? Do we need to work on

602
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: then the mental side or do we then need to

603
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 1: refer you to someone who can help you with the

604
00:30:58,320 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: mechanics of that?

605
00:30:59,240 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 2: Yeah?

606
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 1: And then you know, really then working on different stress

607
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 1: management techniques around free throw, so working on maybe exposure

608
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: therapy outside of it, Like what is something that you

609
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: can do that would help you feel more confident before

610
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 1: you even shoot the free throw? Is it like stepping

611
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: up to the line. Is it having a certain ritual

612
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 1: or routine before you do that? Like giving their autonomy

613
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: back rather than feeling like this is something that's being

614
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 1: taken from them, and how can I take that control back?

615
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,800
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616
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:40,360
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650
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655
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656
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:08,480
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657
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:09,799
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658
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664
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 3: You were talking about how such an integral part to

665
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 3: what you do is sitting down and talking to people

666
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 3: about their identity beyond sport. Oftentimes, so much of an

667
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 3: athlete's identity is wrapped up within their sport, So how

668
00:34:55,600 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 3: do you get to the foundations of who they are

669
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 3: as a person. Is it challenging to even get to

670
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 3: that beginning point with some of the people that you

671
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 3: work with.

672
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it depends on who you're working with and their

673
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: relationship to their sport, because a lot of athletes at

674
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 1: the elite level, like that is their entire life. You know,

675
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 1: I can relate to that even in some capacity. Growing up,

676
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: Like I didn't have any other hobbies or activities because

677
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: I played sports year round, from travel teams to like

678
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,439
Speaker 1: training camps to like after like in season, Like it's

679
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: just non stop. So when you think of like your

680
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 1: identity outside of sport, it's hard to even fathom, Like

681
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 1: what else is there to me because I dedicate so

682
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 1: much my time to this. So it's really like helping

683
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 1: them see that, Like, your identity doesn't actually have to

684
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: be anything that you do per se. It can be

685
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: who you see yourself as, who you want to potentially be.

686
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 1: Like for a lot of people, it's I'm also a parent,

687
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: or I am a significant other, I'm a partner to someone,

688
00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 1: or I also really love fashion, you know, and that

689
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,800
Speaker 1: is another outlet for me. It's just finding other ways

690
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,880
Speaker 1: that people can kind of tie themselves to to feel

691
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 1: fulfilled and feel like they are pouring into something something else,

692
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 1: And once they can kind of see that, it helps,

693
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,959
Speaker 1: I guess, give a little bit of gravity to the situation, like, yes,

694
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,800
Speaker 1: this is your career, but it's not what defines you.

695
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 1: You know, there's so much more to you. Like I

696
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: look at an athlete like Jalen Hurts, for example, like

697
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: he can tell you what his identity is outside of football,

698
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 1: you know, like that man has so much going for

699
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 1: him outside He's doing amazing things for you know, the

700
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 1: community for women in sport. His entire management team is women,

701
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: and you know, things like that, like he might not

702
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:46,840
Speaker 1: be necessarily doing anything, but he's also an advocate for

703
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 1: you know, women's empowerment, and that's part of his identity.

704
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 1: And sometimes it's helping the athlete even see that. It's

705
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 1: hard to even just like when it's just sec it

706
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: feels like second nature. Sometimes it's hard to even say like, oh,

707
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,840
Speaker 1: that is part of who I am. So it's defining

708
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 1: that looks like and then challenging them at times, support

709
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 1: into that and sometimes creating a bit of a break

710
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 1: from the sport to really channel into other things, which

711
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 1: is good because it then helps prepare for life after sport.

712
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 3: I think there are a lot of people that listen

713
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 3: and feel as though they're at a standstill when we

714
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 3: get to this topic. Maybe they do have one identity,

715
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 3: whether or not it is rooted within sport, and then

716
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 3: they ask themselves, who am I beyond this thing? So foundationally,

717
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:39,439
Speaker 3: for someone who's trying to articulate what is there, let's

718
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 3: call it their philosophy, the crux of who they are?

719
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 2: Where do they begin?

720
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,240
Speaker 1: This is something I'll tell clients and sometimes at baffers.

721
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll be honest, but I'll say pick three

722
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,719
Speaker 1: to five people in your life that are your go

723
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: to people, your most trusted people, and reach out to them,

724
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 1: have them defind it for you, like ask their opinions

725
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:08,399
Speaker 1: on things, and that doesn't mean that that's actually exactly true, right,

726
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 1: Like you can take their feedback and you can agree

727
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 1: with it, you could disagree, but take from that what

728
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,479
Speaker 1: you want as a good starting point. Right. It also

729
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,879
Speaker 1: might mean just like taking some time to like look

730
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 1: around your room or your home or any of your

731
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,880
Speaker 1: spaces and like see what you have. I'm looking at

732
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: my bookshelf right now, and I have a bunch of

733
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,359
Speaker 1: la boo boos up there, and like books and little

734
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 1: nick knacks and like, sometimes we just have to do

735
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 1: a personal inventory of who we are to remind ourselves

736
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 1: of those things. And then also I'm a big fan

737
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 1: of identity mapping as well, So there's like a lot

738
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 1: of just different worksheets online that I'll find and like

739
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 1: send to clients and challenge them to answer some of

740
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 1: those questions and reflect on that. Or even doing a

741
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 1: reflection of like your core values and beliefs is another

742
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 1: good place to start to help find your identity.

743
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,319
Speaker 3: What I'm hearing you say, is it doesn't need to

744
00:38:56,360 --> 00:39:01,760
Speaker 3: be crazy complicated. It is something thing that is normal

745
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 3: to question to do this type of work. It's not

746
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:10,479
Speaker 3: something to be worried about or ashamed of. Everyone needs

747
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 3: to start somewhere, and starting and doing this inquree is

748
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,799
Speaker 3: a lot better than not.

749
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 1: And the beauty of it is we can always add

750
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 1: or subtract from that list thor that map, whatever that

751
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: looks like.

752
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 3: I think it's also really helpful that recommendation of reaching

753
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 3: out to other people and allowing them to quote unquote

754
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 3: define it for you, because that's a helpful exercise. You

755
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,879
Speaker 3: may not be aware of what it is that you

756
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 3: are truly conveying to the world around you, so to

757
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,040
Speaker 3: get that feedback and then rather then maybe feel some

758
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,319
Speaker 3: kind of way about it, like okay, yes you can

759
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 3: feel some kind of way about it, But then you

760
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 3: have the opportunity to ask yourself, what do I want

761
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 3: to do with this information?

762
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 1: And that's what we're in sessions. I'll like make sure

763
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 1: I preface it like, okay, get this information. If you're

764
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 1: if it makes you feel a certain way, leave it

765
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: on the table. We'll let's we'll talk about it next week,

766
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 1: and then we kind of work on processing that information

767
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 1: together and you know, helping them see like, this is

768
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 1: just like how you're being perceived, you know, and if

769
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: that's okay, cool, if it's you want to change it, like,

770
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 1: let's talk strategies on how to change it.

771
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,280
Speaker 3: This is actually, uh, kind of bringing me to another

772
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 3: conversation point, this how I'm being perceived. We have a

773
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 3: lot more opportunity and ability to own that narrative than

774
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 3: maybe even we recognize. I had a conversation with someone

775
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 3: the other day who was super interested in getting into

776
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 3: public speaking and doing more consumer facing events, and per

777
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,799
Speaker 3: perception of me is you do it so well, you're

778
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 3: always out there.

779
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 2: How did you begin?

780
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 3: And I said, beginning for me was positioning myself in

781
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 3: a way that this is who I want to be.

782
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 3: So maybe before you are an expert expert, you're going

783
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 3: to have to start somewhere, and that starts with putting

784
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 3: yourself in the driver's seat.

785
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:05,399
Speaker 1: We're all first time humans. I mean, unless you're into

786
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: the whole spirituality, reincarnation, I don't know a world. But like,

787
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 1: for the most part, we're all doing this for the

788
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,400
Speaker 1: first time, you know, and so we can't expect to

789
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 1: come out of the womb and just have it all

790
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,320
Speaker 1: figured out, and we're never going to have it figured

791
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 1: out if we don't move in a direction. You know,

792
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 1: and I'm very much in the camp of it's a journey.

793
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 1: You know, we are going to learn, We're going to

794
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 1: change our minds. We're going to like, we're never on

795
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 1: a straight shot anywhere, and as long as we can

796
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 1: kind of keep reminding ourselves that we take one step

797
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 1: in any direction, for the most part, we're either gonna

798
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 1: keep going in that direction because we're going to realize

799
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 1: that this is we're doing things right, or we're going

800
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 1: to learn from it and that's going to help us

801
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:48,800
Speaker 1: go in a different direction.

802
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, clarity is always a good thing, even if it

803
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,240
Speaker 3: gives you information that you're not super stoked on, because

804
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 3: then it enables and empowers you to figure out what's

805
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 3: your next best move. When you got to a place

806
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,840
Speaker 3: where you knew that this was the work that you

807
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,759
Speaker 3: really wanted to dabble in, I know you talked about

808
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 3: and shed a little bit of light of like how

809
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 3: you got some of these first hype profile clients, But

810
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:10,919
Speaker 3: in practice, what did that look like for you?

811
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:12,320
Speaker 1: Now? I don't want to say fake it till I

812
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,400
Speaker 1: make it, because I don't think I was necessarily faking it,

813
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 1: but it was like being very strategic about it all right,

814
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,399
Speaker 1: like this like kind of like what you were saying,

815
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 1: like positioning yourself in ways that you want to be perceived,

816
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:25,319
Speaker 1: that you want people to be able to hire you

817
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 1: for those opportunities, and using the things that are in

818
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: my control, right, Like I can't control who views me

819
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 1: a certain way or who thinks I'm capable of what,

820
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 1: but I can control what I put out there online.

821
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:37,880
Speaker 1: I can control who I reach out to you and

822
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 1: attempt to network with and build relationships with. So for

823
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 1: a while I was really scared of that I'm being

824
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,239
Speaker 1: in private practice. It's extremely isolating. I don't have colleagues.

825
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 1: I still to this day struggle with this, but I

826
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 1: will try. If I'm you know, traveling, I will make

827
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 1: a point to like reach out to people on LinkedIn

828
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 1: through social media mutual contacts, just to try and get

829
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 1: a coffee, to just meet up to talk. Because to

830
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 1: a lot of the times, like through especially the digital age,

831
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 1: like people are so quick to kind of just like

832
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 1: think they know who we are based on our online presence.

833
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: But I think if we can get ourselves in front

834
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 1: of someone and show like who we really are as

835
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 1: human beings like that can make a auge difference. So

836
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: that's what I'm trying to be better at right now

837
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 1: my life, which is hard. It's hard to put yourself

838
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: out there. It's hard to feel rejected at times. But

839
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 1: I'm trying to do that and realizing that, like there

840
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 1: are people that say no, but it's still the same

841
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 1: outcome as if I never did it in the first place. Yeah,

842
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:37,239
Speaker 1: Also really being strategic about like the content I put

843
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 1: out online, you know, talking more about sports, showing my

844
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 1: interests not just as a therapist, but who I am

845
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:45,359
Speaker 1: as a human. I feel like if I'm going to

846
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 1: kind of work with my clients in that capacity, it's

847
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 1: very hypocritical for me to only go online and just

848
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: post strictly professional content. And that's fine, Like I think,

849
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,080
Speaker 1: you know, there's like an old school in a new

850
00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 1: school mentality and like the wellness space of like how

851
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 1: you need to show up in the digital space. But

852
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 1: for me and like I can't be the therapist online

853
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:08,839
Speaker 1: that is just strictly you know, mental health content very

854
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 1: professional because I like all this other stuff and I

855
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 1: think it helps people relate a little bit more on

856
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 1: a human level when you give a glimpse of who

857
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 1: you are as a human being.

858
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 2: I love seeing who you are holistically.

859
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 3: And I totally hear you when you say, like there's

860
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 3: like a new school way of thinking in an old

861
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 3: school way of thinking of like I am supposed to

862
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 3: just be one type of person that does one type

863
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,240
Speaker 3: of thing, and this is my purpose on the Internet.

864
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 2: And I just.

865
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:37,479
Speaker 3: Don't think that that is relatable anymore. And I think

866
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 3: that in this age where we do have such consistent

867
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 3: access to so many people that we don't even know

868
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:48,840
Speaker 3: that we're looking to know them holistically, at least speaking

869
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:53,959
Speaker 3: from my own POV, I also really appreciate your openness

870
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 3: about getting outside of your comfort zone when it comes

871
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 3: to making those difficult asks and putting yourself out there

872
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 3: knowing that a no is going to put you exactly

873
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 3: where you would have been if you didn't try it

874
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:06,240
Speaker 3: the first place.

875
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:10,200
Speaker 2: For someone who feels really intimidated by the word no,

876
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 2: who is scared to try because of the word no,

877
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:19,359
Speaker 2: because of that potential for getting rejected, how do they

878
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:20,320
Speaker 2: get over that hurdle.

879
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:24,280
Speaker 1: One thing I could say that helps me personally reframing

880
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 1: the word no, so maybe it's not instead of it

881
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,439
Speaker 1: being no, not thinking no means I'm not good enough.

882
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 1: Maybe it's just I'm not there yet, it's not the

883
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 1: right time, they don't have the budget, they're looking for

884
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 1: something just I can't offer right now. Trying to like

885
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 1: reframe it so it's not an all or nothing type

886
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 1: of like I'm good or bad, and that it's so

887
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 1: much more gray area in between, and then also baby

888
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 1: steps right like I do have like an ongoing notes

889
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,760
Speaker 1: app list of people I want to reach out without

890
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 1: to at some point this year and try and establish

891
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 1: a relationship with in some capacity, and you know, move

892
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: at your your own pace. Don't feel like you need

893
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 1: to jump head first into any of it. But if

894
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 1: you do have some downtime, set a goal, maybe it's

895
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: one person a week you reach out to or one

896
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 1: person a month, you know, whatever feels safe and comfortable,

897
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 1: but also at times challenge yourself because we are capable

898
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 1: of more than we think, and the more we get

899
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 1: used to hearing though, the more we can we can

900
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 1: handle it too.

901
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:20,400
Speaker 3: I love that the more that you get used to

902
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:23,360
Speaker 3: hearing no, the more that you can handle it. What

903
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 3: has been one of your most let's call it Kobe like, yes,

904
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 3: is something that you shot for that felt like it

905
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,839
Speaker 3: was a little bit bigger than you, that came back

906
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 3: and really changed the way that you thought about going

907
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 3: after the things that excite you moving forward.

908
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 1: Honestly, I think it was just like getting into a

909
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 1: lot of the referral networks for teams that, like, I

910
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 1: didn't think in a million years people would take me

911
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,320
Speaker 1: seriously or respect me, you know, in that capacity. I

912
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 1: struggle so much. This is something that comes up like

913
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 1: weekly with my therapist of just like wanting to be

914
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: taken seriously but also not wanting to kind of fit

915
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:01,800
Speaker 1: a mold right on, at least online with my online persona.

916
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 1: And I feel like in the networking space today, a

917
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 1: lot of people that might like look into me will

918
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: see my public persona online and make assumptions, And so

919
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 1: I worry all the time of like, oh, well, they

920
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: want to work with me because they're going to see

921
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 1: that Like I go to Disney World, and I you know,

922
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 1: love to go to these things and do things that

923
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 1: might not be the most professional post online even though

924
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 1: I'm not hurting anyone doing it, and getting over that

925
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:33,799
Speaker 1: because I did reach out to people, it did work out,

926
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 1: and if anything, it's made those relationships stronger and has

927
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 1: actually improved my confidence and helps me kind of own

928
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 1: who I am at times. I just went through like

929
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:45,840
Speaker 1: a really weird insurance situation with one of the teams

930
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 1: I work with, and I wanted to get to the

931
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,879
Speaker 1: bottom of the situation and want like put a lot

932
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 1: of work into figuring things out. And the person the

933
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 1: head of mental health on that team, you know, got

934
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 1: back to me and was just like, I'm you know,

935
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,880
Speaker 1: so grateful for you, and like just even hearing like

936
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: the validation of that, like was nice. It was just

937
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 1: nice to know, like, Okay, you respect me. And then

938
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 1: like recently another mentor of mine who I really look

939
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 1: up to and he has helped me in so many ways,

940
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:15,400
Speaker 1: like get into doors because he's a performance coach, and

941
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 1: I find like, you know, there's kind of like the

942
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 1: performance coaches and the therapists in the world and they

943
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:21,759
Speaker 1: don't really intersect and there's not a lot of like

944
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 1: openness to get into one or the other. He recently

945
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 1: reached out and was like, hey, like I have an

946
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,719
Speaker 1: opportunity in New York, you know, in may I can't

947
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 1: be there, but it's a demo presentation that I you're

948
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: the only person I trust to do this, and I

949
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 1: was like, yes down, So like it's hearing things like

950
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 1: that that like know that the people I look up

951
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 1: to respect me as well. And if I never reached

952
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 1: out to make those relationships and foster those relationships over time,

953
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 1: it wouldn't it wouldn't have got to this point. So

954
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: put yourself out there, because it works and you're capable.

955
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 3: So many beautiful things here about owning who it is

956
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 3: that you are and understanding that when you do that,

957
00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 3: the things that are meant for you and in alignment

958
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 3: for you will stay right. And so if you were

959
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 3: to hide these parts of you that holistically make up

960
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:17,280
Speaker 3: what makes you great, then the situations or the business

961
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 3: moments even that you might find yourself in might not

962
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 3: be aligned with who it is that you are anyway.

963
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: No, and I promise it comes full circle because there

964
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 1: are so many times where, like I will one of

965
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 1: the movies I love to tell clients to watch is

966
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 1: Inside Out and Inside Out too, and then it you know,

967
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 1: they always laugh, They're like, oh, it's because you like Disney,

968
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 1: Like you know, give me a little bit of shit

969
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 1: for referring a children's movie to them, but you know what,

970
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 1: they respect me. They watch it. For the ones that

971
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 1: do watch it, they come back and they're like, I

972
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,040
Speaker 1: get it now, and then they're kind of like Disney

973
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 1: after that. So it's a win win, But it does

974
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 1: come back full circle and it pays off. And I

975
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 1: think when you authentically use your interest right, like Inside

976
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 1: Out a great movie to watch when you're trying to

977
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 1: understand emotions from a visual perspective, but when you're being

978
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,880
Speaker 1: referred to by someone who you also know loves Disney,

979
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 1: you're maybe a little bit more inclined to actually follow

980
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 1: through on that. So lean into it. Own it.

981
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 3: You're uh, you're enticing me to like get back into

982
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 3: the plot of Inside Out.

983
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. I don't know if you've seen Inside

984
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 1: Out too yet, but.

985
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 3: If you walk away from this podcast with one recommendation

986
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 3: outside of owning your know and putting up some boundaries,

987
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 3: it's go watch Inside Out.

988
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. If you're Yeah, if you're struggling to understand what

989
00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 1: anxiety is, it's the best I swear it's the best

990
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:43,799
Speaker 1: visual representation of how anxiety overtakes your brain.

991
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 2: I love it. I'm in. I'm all in.

992
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 3: Uh right now, someone comes to your Instagram page and

993
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 3: they see and we talked about this what they may perceive.

994
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:52,879
Speaker 2: Right.

995
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 3: So, I licensed social worker, the founder of Mental SASH psychotherapist.

996
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,239
Speaker 3: But when you look in the mirror, what is it

997
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 3: that you see looking at you?

998
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 1: I It depends on the day. Honestly, today I would say,

999
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,799
Speaker 1: you know, a wife, a dog mom. Like I. God,

1000
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,319
Speaker 1: I'm getting like emotional even thinking about this question. But

1001
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:18,800
Speaker 1: I would say, you know, I identify first and foremost

1002
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 1: with like the people in my life rather than my career. Yeah,

1003
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 1: who I am as a human? You know, Like I

1004
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 1: just my qualities that make me me and those qualities

1005
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:34,840
Speaker 1: that help me do my job efficiently and well. I

1006
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,799
Speaker 1: care about people. I want better for the world. And

1007
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 1: I think because of those qualities at my core, at

1008
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 1: a human level, that helps me show up as a

1009
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 1: therapist or as a wife or as a dog mom.

1010
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 1: So I look in the mirror and I see like

1011
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 1: the qualities about myself that I want other people to see.

1012
00:51:56,400 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 3: It's really a beautiful example of something that's so many

1013
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 3: of us strive for, is to see looking back at you,

1014
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 3: what it is that you feel so deeply passionate about.

1015
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:11,480
Speaker 3: And I think when we are in situations when we

1016
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:14,760
Speaker 3: let those intrusive thoughts seep in, or we're not seeing

1017
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,719
Speaker 3: those holistic good things about us looking back, and that's

1018
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 3: an opportunity to do that level of inquiry and really

1019
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 3: ask yourself, like, what is it that's preventing me from

1020
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 3: being my best self and looking at the mirror and

1021
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 3: seeing something I'm proud of looking back?

1022
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't get me wrong, I have das where I

1023
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,560
Speaker 1: look at myself. I'll say, like, think the worst about myself.

1024
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 1: That's part of it too. It ebbs and flows, but

1025
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 1: it's you know, when I am thinking those bad things

1026
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 1: about myself, that's also time to let other people know,

1027
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:46,280
Speaker 1: right Like, I need to either talk to my therapists

1028
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 1: more about that stuff, or I need to tell my

1029
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 1: family and my husband whoever. It's just like, my brain's

1030
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 1: not in a good place. My thoughts are. This is

1031
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:56,719
Speaker 1: the quality of my thoughts right now.

1032
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 3: That though there is so much pawer in that and

1033
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 3: recognizing that you are not those thoughts. This is the

1034
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 3: quality of my thoughts right now. It is not the

1035
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 3: quality of my thoughts forever. It doesn't need to stay

1036
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,319
Speaker 3: like this for weeks and weeks and months to come.

1037
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 3: You have the opportunity to frame and take ownership over

1038
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 3: what happens next, recognizing that this is how it is

1039
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:18,479
Speaker 3: right now.

1040
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:22,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. One thing my therapists actually taught me, and

1041
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 1: something that I do I share with my clients a

1042
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 1: lot too, is when trying to when you feel a

1043
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:29,399
Speaker 1: certain way and you're trying to talk to someone else

1044
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 1: about how you're feeling, and it could potentially lead to

1045
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 1: conflict or it can lead to, you know, a disagreement

1046
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:37,400
Speaker 1: in some capacity, the best way that I can approach

1047
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 1: it is by saying, this is what my brain is

1048
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 1: telling me, Like, this is what my thoughts are saying

1049
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:46,160
Speaker 1: right now, rather than saying like you're this or you're that,

1050
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 1: like third party, it into like your thoughts right not

1051
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 1: don't make it this is exactly what I believe about you,

1052
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 1: because it's not. It's just what you're thinking. Your thoughts

1053
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 1: and your beliefs. There's a distinction between the two. You

1054
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:02,520
Speaker 1: don't have always believe the thoughts that you have.

1055
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 2: You don't have to believe them at all.

1056
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:06,799
Speaker 3: I wind on the podcast every time by asking my

1057
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:10,240
Speaker 3: guests knowing what you know now, reflecting on that hurdle moment,

1058
00:54:10,239 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 3: which was feeling let's say, really anxious and uneasy within

1059
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 3: your own relationship with sport, feeling incapable of showing up

1060
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,839
Speaker 3: how you wanted to, feeling like you needed to go

1061
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 3: to two hundred and twenty five percent, and also knowing

1062
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 3: that wasn't sustainable. Knowing what you know now, what would

1063
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:31,800
Speaker 3: you offer yourself for advice going through that hurdle moment?

1064
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:37,000
Speaker 1: Yeah? I would. I would tell myself that it's okay

1065
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:40,879
Speaker 1: to slow down, it's okay to be different, and it's

1066
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 1: okay to take things at your own at your own pace,

1067
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:46,800
Speaker 1: in your in, your in what you can handle, Yeah,

1068
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: I think. And I would also tell myself that you

1069
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 1: got to find a better support system and that one

1070
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:52,640
Speaker 1: day it'll be there.

1071
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:55,040
Speaker 3: One day, it'll be there. Liz, I'm so happy that

1072
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:56,959
Speaker 3: we were able to have this chat today. For those

1073
00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 3: that aren't following along with you just yet, I give

1074
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:01,640
Speaker 3: us the lowdown.

1075
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:02,400
Speaker 2: Where do we find you?

1076
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:06,880
Speaker 1: Absolutely so, if you are looking for strictly mental health content,

1077
00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 1: you can follow my private practice and slash consulting company's

1078
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:15,720
Speaker 1: web instagram which is Mental sash MB NTL dot s

1079
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 1: E s H. And then mentalsash dot com is our website,

1080
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:22,399
Speaker 1: and then for my life as a therapist, as a human,

1081
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 1: as a Disney adult, as a dog mom. That's my

1082
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 1: personal Instagram, which is Liz the letter B, and then

1083
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,799
Speaker 1: cro o f T. It was at one point lbcraft

1084
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:32,759
Speaker 1: and then I switched it, and then someone took it

1085
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,919
Speaker 1: and I can't get it back. People think my last

1086
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,880
Speaker 1: name is Croft all the time, and it would be

1087
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 1: really cool because I would go as Laura Croft tune

1088
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:42,560
Speaker 1: Raider for Halloween, but I can't naturally.

1089
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:45,359
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Well, I'm happy that you are as

1090
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 2: you are.

1091
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:50,080
Speaker 3: I'm over Adam Laybody at Hurdle Podcast Another Hurdle conquered.

1092
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.