1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,800 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:33,199 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode twenty nine. We're in 11 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,239 Speaker 1: our main segment. We'll be interviewing or Sarah will be 12 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: interviewing Meredith Podcast. We had an unfortunate, unfortunate technical difficulty 13 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 1: with me, but before we talk to her, we wanted 14 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: to talk about magazines in general, because I think both 15 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: of us read a ton of magazines, Like how many 16 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: do you guys get by here? I think we've actually 17 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: reduced it over the past couple of years, but I 18 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 1: still there's some little spark of joy that I get 19 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: when they come in the mail, so I hesitate to 20 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: get rid of all of them. Maybe that's like the 21 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: one thing that makes mail kind of pleasant to get, 22 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:13,919 Speaker 1: so I don't want to get rid of them completely. 23 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: So we get real simple. We get The Atlantic, which 24 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 1: I was actually reading a lot of it, but now 25 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: I've been reading more books, so I haven't been reading 26 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: as much of it. We get running magazines, including Runners 27 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 1: World and Women's Running. And the other main genre is 28 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: cooking magazines because I actually really do use a lot 29 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: of recipes from Cooking Light and lately Milk Street, which 30 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: is a really it's really pretty. It's like so well designed. 31 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,759 Speaker 1: It's by Christopher Kindall Kimball who used to write Cooks 32 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: Illustrated or edit Cooks Illustrated, and they have really good 33 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: recipes and if you look at it, like it just 34 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 1: they're like on the forefront of like magazine layout and design. 35 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: It's very pretty. That's always the part I love, right, 36 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: It's like you're looking at the pretty pictures and magazines 37 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: are just so cheap, Like you can always get these 38 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: deals for like a dollar an issue or something like that. 39 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: And yeah, a lot of times on Amazon, at least 40 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 1: when you do the first year and then you'll get'll 41 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: they'll try to make you renew it for higher but 42 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: you can just not do it and then send you 43 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,639 Speaker 1: and yeah, no, I read a lot of the same 44 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: one too, A Runners World. I just wrote down Women's 45 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: Running because I didn't even know that was a thing, 46 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna have to subscribe now, and you know, 47 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: oh magazine. I read the Oxygen. Have you ever heard 48 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,799 Speaker 1: of Oxygen? I've heard of it, but I haven't read it. 49 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: What it's someone like, So it's like it's women's but 50 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: it's more like bodybuilding fitness almost, So I like it 51 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 1: more for just reading about the strength workouts and exercise 52 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: from the perspective of people being real athletes, because I 53 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: feel like sometimes women's magazines approach exercise is something you 54 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,679 Speaker 1: either just have to do or it's going to help 55 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: you lose weight or something like that. And you know, 56 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: it's kind of fun to read about it from a 57 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: different angle, like when people are actually like, well, I 58 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 1: want to make my triceps a little bit bigger because 59 00:02:54,840 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: they're under versus this other muscle group. So yeah, kind 60 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 1: of cool. Also surprisingly into Martha Stewart Living. Do you 61 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: read that? I sometimes I think I've flipped through it 62 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 1: when I'm at my mother in law's house and it 63 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: is it is that is another just visually stunning magazine. 64 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: Visually stunning, and they have some really good stuff in 65 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 1: it too. I mean, I just I saved the Christmas Issue. 66 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,240 Speaker 1: I like Christmas issues and magazines in general, but like 67 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 1: this one had, you know, the party at Martha Stewart's house, 68 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: like her Bedford farm, just talking about like they greeted 69 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: people on the porch with cold oysters, and I was 70 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 1: just like, oh see, I love it. See that's the 71 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: thing about magazines that I do, Like they're all they're 72 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 1: all about the fantasy self, right, Like it's not you know, 73 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: it's not like I mean even magazines like Real Simple 74 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 1: purport to you know, target maybe my demographic. I still 75 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 1: look at the fashion pages and I'm like, yeah, no, 76 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: I'm not buying that. I'm not buying that. I would 77 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: never buy that entire outfit whatever. But there's something about, 78 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, the fantasy self channeled through these different 79 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 1: genres that is fun and they're fun to get in 80 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: the mail. So I'm not ready to get them in 81 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: virtual form, like they need to be papered. Pot I 82 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,839 Speaker 1: will be the woman wearing linen pants or I will 83 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: be that's someone who's either serving oysters on the cold 84 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: porch for my Christmas party, or I will be invited 85 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: to Martha's Stewards Christmas party and you'll be wearing linen 86 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 1: pants pants, and that will just be awesome. I would 87 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: chow at one other small magazine thing. It's probably the 88 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: most expensive magazine we get, but it's brought a lot 89 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: of joy to our lives. We subscribe to something called 90 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: baby Bug, which is from Cricket Media, and it's aimed 91 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 1: at literally two to five year olds and it's very short, 92 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,480 Speaker 1: but it's really well put together, like a bunch of 93 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: little short reading things and cool pictures. And my daughter 94 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 1: we started subscribing when she was two and she still 95 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 1: likes it now and she's six. I mean, it's definitely 96 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 1: under her age, and it should be for my little son. 97 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,240 Speaker 1: I mean, at this point he should be the one 98 00:04:58,279 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: reading it, but he doesn't like to sit still for 99 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: this this kind of thing. It's I think it may 100 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: be a little bit more little girl oriented, but it's 101 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: been really cool. We've subscribed for a long time and 102 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: really love it. So I'll throw a shout out to 103 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 1: that one. Cool We actually do high five from highlights, 104 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: all right, I'll check out about too Cool. Well, this 105 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: segment is right on the theme of what we just 106 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,280 Speaker 1: talked about. I've actually not flipped through Working Mother magazine yet, 107 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,840 Speaker 1: but it is absolutely on my list. And we had 108 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,480 Speaker 1: a great conversation with Meredith Bodgus and I hope you 109 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 1: enjoy it. So we'd like to welcome Meredith Bodgus to 110 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 1: our show. She is the editor in chief of Working 111 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,039 Speaker 1: Mother magazine and we are thrilled to have her today. 112 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 1: Laura is going to jump in and out as we 113 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: are currently having some of our first real technical difficulties 114 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: on this podcast. I'm actually shocked it took twenty nine 115 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,280 Speaker 1: episodes for us to get there, but she hopefully will 116 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: be able to bounce in and out as she can. 117 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: So thank you so much, Meredith for coming on. Do 118 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,039 Speaker 1: you want to introduce yourself to our listeners? Sure? So, 119 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,159 Speaker 1: as you said, I am Meredith. I am the editor 120 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 1: in chief of Working Mother Magazine and Workingmother dot Com. 121 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 1: I am a New York native and I still live here, 122 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 1: and I have a three and a half year old 123 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: and a baby dow. Any moment, like literally any moment. Yeah, 124 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: He's like, we just got back from the doctor and 125 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: he's already seven pounds, so this could make for a 126 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 1: very interesting podcast today. Oh my gosh, that would be 127 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: incredibly eventful. So assuming that doesn't happen, we're very excited 128 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: to hear more from you. Tell us a little bit 129 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 1: about I mean, you've been a working mother for about 130 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:38,600 Speaker 1: four years now, but you obviously weren't always in your 131 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 1: current position at the magazine. So how did you get 132 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: to where you are right now? Sure? So, I've been 133 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: at Working Mother for about a year, and I have 134 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,159 Speaker 1: been a working mother for almost four years. And I 135 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: actually found this job online. They posted for the position, 136 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:59,600 Speaker 1: and I had been working in online editorial for women's magazines. 137 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: Always been interested in parenting issues and work issues, so 138 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 1: when I saw this job it was actually I applied 139 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: to it the night of the presidential election, as it 140 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: as we found out who was probably going to president. Wow, 141 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: I wrote a cover letter. I knew that the next 142 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: year to four years we're going to be very important 143 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: for women, and I wanted to play a bigger role 144 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 1: in that. So when I saw that Working Mother was 145 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: looking for an editor, I sent a cover letter that night, 146 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: and I was very lucky to hear back very shortly. 147 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 1: After and even luckier that it all worked out. That 148 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,840 Speaker 1: is an amazing story. Oh my goodness. So you have 149 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: been a working mother the entire time that you've been there. 150 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 1: It sounds like since you started, you know, after the election. 151 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: Do you feel like your own experiences inform you know, 152 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: your editorial content or also your experiences growing up? Did 153 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 1: your mother work? Yes, my mom was a working and 154 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: actually her mom was a working mother too, and those experiences, 155 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 1: in addition to what I'm going through now as a 156 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: working mother of a preschooler and a pregnant working mother, 157 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: they absolutely inform all the editorial. I write about two 158 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 1: stories a week that are just my perspective, and they 159 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: tend to resonate really well with our audience because they're 160 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 1: going through it too. For instance, I just wrote about 161 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: how I've been working from home more lately because I'm 162 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: you know, nine months pregnant, I haven't been feeling that well, 163 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 1: and also, you know, between snow and my son had 164 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 1: lega virus, there just hasn't been many opportunities to get 165 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,079 Speaker 1: to the office. But it turns out I'm way more 166 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 1: productive on those days, and anyone who works from home 167 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: on a regular basis would probably say the same thing, 168 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 1: and I detailed just what my day looks like. Because 169 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 1: I don't have to commute into Manhattan from my house 170 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 1: in Long Island, I have more time to do work. 171 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:03,040 Speaker 1: I don't have to spend more time getting to the 172 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: office and dropping off my son at daycare earlier and 173 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: picking him up later, so I can spend more time 174 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 1: in front of my computer. And I think that idea 175 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: was just something that people who work from home are like, Yes, 176 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: I wish more people who don't work from home recognize 177 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 1: that about us, that we are working just as hard, 178 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: if not harder, on the days that we're not in 179 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,440 Speaker 1: the office. So those are the kinds of things that 180 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 1: are happening in my life that are also informing what 181 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: I do for workingmother dot com and the magazine That's 182 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,959 Speaker 1: so cool. I will tell you it is my dream 183 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 1: to work from home, and it will. I don't think 184 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: it will. It's very hard. I'm hard, right, you know, people, 185 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 1: although there is some trend towards tellmedicine, so you never know. 186 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 1: I actually, you know, I think about it, and I'm like, 187 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,479 Speaker 1: I actually could do a lot of this through FaceTime, 188 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:57,760 Speaker 1: So maybe you never know in ten years or sneak 189 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 1: peek at our next issue. We actually looked at some 190 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,680 Speaker 1: of the apps that offer telemedicine and we had real 191 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: moms test them out, so you can find out which 192 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: of these apps are working. Moms are just loving to 193 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 1: use instead of going to the doctor's office. Oh that 194 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 1: is so cool. So I'm no, because I'm in pediatric 195 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 1: endochronology and we have some patients, like specifically our diabetes 196 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,319 Speaker 1: patients where you know, we see them at least every 197 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: three months, but not every visit really needs to be 198 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: face to face and it does get very disruptive for them. 199 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,440 Speaker 1: So yes, I love that the people are kind of 200 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: getting more accepting of medicine going in that direction. Okay, 201 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: so sorry to digress. Your readership is probably getting younger. 202 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 1: I'm guessing are you a millennial? Technically I am a millennial. 203 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:48,960 Speaker 1: I'm an older millennial, but I am a millennial. And yeah, 204 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:52,960 Speaker 1: more millennials are having babies and climbing the ranks in 205 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: the corporate world, so yeah, we are seeing more millennials 206 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: in our audience. What do you feel like do you 207 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: feel like there are any sort of trends given that 208 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: and parenting. I've read a lot about how you know 209 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 1: thirty years ago, we actually spend a lot more time 210 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,559 Speaker 1: helicoptering and intensely parenting compared to maybe the prior generation. 211 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 1: Do you think the millennials are swinging any other way 212 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 1: or is it just intensifying, Like what do you see 213 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 1: the next trend there? I think it's intensifying because I 214 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 1: think there is a new kind of mommy guilt that 215 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 1: happens with millennials, especially because we're so connected to the 216 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,959 Speaker 1: office at all times. You know, you shut off your phone, 217 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: someone can still send you an email and you can 218 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 1: look at it on your computer. You're never really disconnected. 219 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,439 Speaker 1: And because of that, we feel like we have to 220 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: put in more face time with our children. And you know, 221 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,720 Speaker 1: it's not a bit, it's not a bad thing, but 222 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,840 Speaker 1: I think we focus so much on are we having meaningful, 223 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,559 Speaker 1: meaningful interactions with our children, because we're also sometimes getting 224 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 1: distracted by what's happening at work on our phones at 225 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 1: all hours. So I would say it's intense buying. But 226 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: at the same time, we're more likely to be working 227 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 1: parents than previous generations, so we do spend time away 228 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,320 Speaker 1: from our children. But that's why I think when we're 229 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 1: with our children. We are with them, we are paying attention, 230 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 1: we are doing things together. So I would say it's 231 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: going in that direction. I think that's actually I mean, 232 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:26,079 Speaker 1: for me, I feel much better doing less, you know, 233 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,720 Speaker 1: the multitasking, putting that aside, and really trying to be 234 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 1: present when I'm present. But it is really hard in 235 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,440 Speaker 1: today's climate, when you're likely to get a text message 236 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,400 Speaker 1: from work while you're with your kids. Do you find 237 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,560 Speaker 1: that there are any good solutions there? What I like 238 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: to think of is prioritizing, you know, if my if 239 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: my son is sick, if he is just not being 240 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,080 Speaker 1: himself and he really needs me, unless you know, unless 241 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,560 Speaker 1: workingmother dot com has blown up or been taken over 242 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: by you know, like some crazy hacker site, I probably 243 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: am going to put my phone down and not really 244 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 1: look at it till I feel like my son is 245 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: in a good place, and vice versa. If my work 246 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 1: really needs my attention and my son's doing just fine, 247 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 1: then that's what's going to get my attention. So it's 248 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:15,720 Speaker 1: not about choosing which is your priority all the time. 249 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,199 Speaker 1: It's about picking what's the priority at that moment. So 250 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 1: it's always going to just depend on who needs you more, 251 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: and then you have to make that decision. Okay, I'm 252 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:29,840 Speaker 1: going to be putting all putting my all into either 253 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,959 Speaker 1: work or my child or my husband. Let's not forget 254 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 1: about them and our homes. It's just a matter of 255 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 1: figuring out what is the most pressing thing at that moment. 256 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 1: I think that's great and I like that, and I 257 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: also feel like, you know, that's where people do get 258 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: stuck in that all or nothing conundrum, and that can 259 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 1: interfere with our ability to really push in our careers 260 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 1: the way we want to. And yet men don't necessarily 261 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 1: come up against the same kind of challenges. So I 262 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,959 Speaker 1: really like that turn towards whatever needs you at that time, 263 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: do your best, and you know, then you keep going 264 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:05,319 Speaker 1: and keep going exactly. So, Okay, our listeners love logistics. 265 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 1: Every time we have somebody come on, we get a 266 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,199 Speaker 1: lot of positive feedback when we can hear what happens 267 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 1: with childcare and what happens with outsourcing, and what happens 268 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,959 Speaker 1: with your you know, even home chores and start how 269 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: do you guys run things? Can you do sort of 270 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 1: a day in the life. Absolutely. I will puts it 271 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 1: by saying my house is always a mess. That is 272 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: the truth, because even finding a house cleaner takes some time. 273 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 1: You know, you have to research and sure they're well reviewed, 274 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 1: and call them and sketch mess. So I have just 275 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 1: decided my house is always going to be a mess, 276 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: and I'm okay with that. We don't entertain very often. 277 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: And maybe I'll feel different when my child children are older, 278 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,880 Speaker 1: But for now, my house is a mess. But day 279 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 1: in the life, usually wake up between six and six thirty. 280 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 1: I will often shower, I often because sometimes doesn't happen, uh, 281 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: And then I get my son ready. I wake him up, 282 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 1: I get I feed him bakfast, I get him dressed, 283 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: and at this time, my husband's usually showering. And by 284 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 1: the time my husband comes downstairs, it's time to get going. 285 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 1: So he will help me do the final preparations for 286 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 1: my son. He actually will set things up the night before, 287 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 1: you know, get his snack in lunch ready of the 288 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 1: night before, make sure his backpack is packed. And in 289 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 1: the morning so we can just grab his backpack and 290 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: get in the car to drive to daycare. In nicer weather, 291 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 1: we'll walk to daycare. And when I'm not nine months pregnant, 292 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: we'll walk to daycare. It's only about ten minutes from 293 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 1: our house, and that was an intentional decision because parking 294 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: near our train station and where the daycare is is 295 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 1: next to impossible, so we wanted to minimize the amount 296 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: of hiccups we would have every morning, knowing that every 297 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 1: morning would be hectic, so we try to walk, but 298 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 1: lately we've been driving and my husband just prays for 299 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,280 Speaker 1: a parking spot. I bring my son day care, I'll 300 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 1: check him in and then that's anywhere between two and 301 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: five minutes process. Sometimes it's closer to ten minutes if 302 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 1: he's feeling a little bit clingy, and then I walk 303 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 1: across the street and get on the train. My commute 304 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 1: is about On the train, it's about forty five minutes. 305 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,160 Speaker 1: Door to door, it's about an hour ten hour fifteen, 306 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 1: and once I'm in the city, it's about a fifteen 307 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,120 Speaker 1: minute walk to my office, although lately I've been taking 308 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,360 Speaker 1: the bus because I can't walk so well at nine 309 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 1: months pregnant and I'm a nine to fiver. I will 310 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: know I have a lot of meetings during the day, 311 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,960 Speaker 1: which do take up a lot of the time I 312 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 1: should be doing other things. So when I'm on the train. 313 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 1: I'm working in the morning, I'm searching for news stories 314 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: that we should be reporting on for the rest of 315 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: the day. And in the afternoon, I might be writing 316 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 1: a story for the next day, or reviewing members of 317 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 1: my teen Stories, editing their stories, and looking at promos 318 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 1: that we have to put out on Facebook to get 319 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 1: people who follow us on Facebook to click back to 320 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: our site and read our stories. And getting home is another. 321 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 1: It's like the reverse of the morning. I walk across 322 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,920 Speaker 1: the street to my son's take care, I pick them 323 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,119 Speaker 1: up and bring them to the car with which my 324 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:10,440 Speaker 1: husband has hopefully retrieved quickly, and then we head home 325 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 1: and we start the dinner rush immediately. You know, we 326 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 1: tend not to cook anything complicated, and some days we 327 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,399 Speaker 1: tend not to cook at all. There's there are a 328 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,440 Speaker 1: lot of breakfast for dinner nights, a lot of ordering 329 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,800 Speaker 1: in going on and ordering in a lot of food. 330 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,439 Speaker 1: So it lasts for two or three days, is something 331 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:33,200 Speaker 1: I like to do. And then by eight forty five 332 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,359 Speaker 1: my son my husband will give my son a bath. 333 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 1: That's usually my time to just sit still and decompress 334 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: because I usually feel so exhausted, and I will go 335 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 1: to sleep. You know lately it's been it's been later. 336 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 1: But in the middle of my pregnancy, I was out 337 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,439 Speaker 1: cold by like nine thirty. Oh my god, you do 338 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,680 Speaker 1: it all again the next day. That was me every 339 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,400 Speaker 1: single night. Actually that's kind of me anyway. But really 340 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 1: during pregnancy, especially, how do you think you're going to 341 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:04,880 Speaker 1: change things around once you have your baby? And to segue, 342 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: we'd really like to talk a little bit about, you know, 343 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,919 Speaker 1: trends and maternity leaves. What kind of leave are you 344 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,879 Speaker 1: planning on taking? Oh, that is an excellent question. It 345 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 1: is it is up to be perfectly honest, it's up 346 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:17,160 Speaker 1: in the air right now. We at my company are 347 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 1: in the process of looking at what our current policy 348 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: is and how it can be more competitive with true 349 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: other magazine publishers, other digital publishers, and just what's going 350 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 1: on with the country right now. Everyone is offering better parentallections, 351 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: say everyone. Many companies are hollering better parental leave, and 352 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,280 Speaker 1: it's it's high time for it. So, I mean, when 353 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,479 Speaker 1: when the baby comes, I will definitely be home for 354 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 1: at least twelve weeks. I'm hoping to take a little 355 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 1: bit more than that, just because last time at twelve 356 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,040 Speaker 1: weeks I was not ready to go back. You know, 357 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: my son was a horrible sleeper. He didn't sleep through 358 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,040 Speaker 1: the night until it was almost two years old, and he, yeah, 359 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 1: tell me that. This is why I'm I'm so exhausted. 360 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,480 Speaker 1: I'm still catching up on all that sleep he at 361 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 1: three months forget it, he was waking up three four 362 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:12,400 Speaker 1: times a night. So I was physically and mentally exhausted 363 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 1: when I had to return to work. And you know, 364 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: as much as I tried my best, of course, because 365 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,760 Speaker 1: my job is always so important to me, it's very 366 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,880 Speaker 1: difficult to get your best when you are so sleep deprived. 367 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 1: So I'm hoping. I'm hoping this little guy will be 368 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:31,360 Speaker 1: a better sleeper, but you just never know. I'm hoping that, 369 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 1: you know, even if it's unpaid, which likely will be, 370 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 1: I can take a little bit more time at home 371 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 1: just to get him in a routine and to get 372 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,880 Speaker 1: myself readjusted to the work world. And there might even 373 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,640 Speaker 1: be some some part time work going on in between 374 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,159 Speaker 1: as I get back into the swim of things. That's 375 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,159 Speaker 1: what I'm hoping for, and all being worked out, and 376 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: I know I'm on quite the deadline. I'm literally a 377 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:58,679 Speaker 1: ticking time bomb. But luckily I have a very understanding 378 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,399 Speaker 1: manager who is willing to work with me. And my 379 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 1: philosophy is just be honest, because if I'm not going 380 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,280 Speaker 1: to be doing what needs to be done, and we 381 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: can have somebody who is not sleep deprived doing what 382 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 1: needs to be done, that's probably going to be better 383 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,879 Speaker 1: for the site in the magazine. So that is that 384 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,959 Speaker 1: is the plan, even though it's not very set in stone. 385 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,159 Speaker 1: But once we're once I am back at work full time, 386 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,880 Speaker 1: I will need to be probably getting up a lot 387 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:31,160 Speaker 1: earlier to either to nurse my son or prepare bottles 388 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,960 Speaker 1: for daycare, or to pump. There's just there's a lot 389 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,879 Speaker 1: that's up in the air. I have to I have 390 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 1: to meet this kid to know what he's like, and 391 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:43,880 Speaker 1: then we'll settle into some routines. But yeah, it's it's 392 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 1: going to be a big learning curve for me because 393 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,879 Speaker 1: I've only had one child for almost four years. I 394 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,919 Speaker 1: am so hoping that this one sleeps better for you, 395 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 1: because it does make all the difference. It's almost like 396 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 1: there should be some policy where they audit your kid's 397 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,600 Speaker 1: sleep and they let you go back when they're sleeping 398 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 1: a certain number totally agree like I would be happy to, 399 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,879 Speaker 1: you know, hook my child up to any device that 400 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,639 Speaker 1: monitors that to prove really not sleeping. I'm not picking 401 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 1: this up, but yes, you know, everyone who knows what 402 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 1: I went through with my first who's a wonderful child. 403 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:17,120 Speaker 1: I love my son Jeremy. He just didn't sleep. So 404 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,399 Speaker 1: everyone who knows him is has their fingers crossed that 405 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 1: our next one is a bit more sleep a bit sleepier. 406 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 1: So I want to hear more about the trends because 407 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 1: I am in healthcare, which is not, unfortunately, a place 408 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 1: that the trends have reached. I don't know a single 409 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,720 Speaker 1: friend working for any hospital, academic or private, that has 410 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:42,120 Speaker 1: ever been offered really any paid leave. Generally, we're expected 411 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 1: to use our vacation time, which is fine, and you 412 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 1: know you can use FMLA if you work for a 413 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: bigger organization. People who work for small private which I 414 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,399 Speaker 1: have been lucky to do. People who work for a 415 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,920 Speaker 1: small private group sometimes are pressured to take very short 416 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,720 Speaker 1: leaves because the groups aren't big enough for FMLA to 417 00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 1: take effect, so they're sort of pressured into like, well, 418 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,399 Speaker 1: we're not going to deal with your patients, so you 419 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,919 Speaker 1: better be back in five weeks or six weeks. So, 420 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,239 Speaker 1: you know, healthcare is one thing, but if is the 421 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 1: rest of the country you feel like is moving in 422 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:13,479 Speaker 1: a positive direction, and who's leading the charge? Is it? Is? It? 423 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,639 Speaker 1: Really is? I mean they have the tech companies have 424 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 1: their own culture problems, but what they lack in, you know, 425 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 1: paying women fairly and making sure that the culture is 426 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 1: free of sexual harassment, they do make up for in 427 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,359 Speaker 1: their very generous family leave policies. So first I just 428 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,520 Speaker 1: want to address that I'm so sorry that it's the 429 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 1: leave isn't happening as it should be. In healthcare, I 430 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,400 Speaker 1: will say at the Working Mother one hundred Best Companies, 431 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,360 Speaker 1: we do have a couple of nonprofit hospitals who tend 432 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 1: to make the list every year, but I fully recognize 433 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 1: that not every employee can be given the kind of 434 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,199 Speaker 1: generous lead. You know, there's a very big difference between 435 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 1: working in the office and being the person who's seeing patients. 436 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:06,000 Speaker 1: Still hope that these hospitals and other kinds of employers 437 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 1: where it's essential that people always be there come up 438 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 1: with some solutions because leave is so critical to I mean, 439 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 1: I don't need to tell you this so critical to 440 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:22,280 Speaker 1: just baby bonding and parents feeling happy and wanting to 441 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 1: come back to work. When you're when you're denied that privilege, 442 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 1: you you know, you resent what you do. But yes, 443 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,879 Speaker 1: I would say the tech companies are leading the charge. 444 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 1: We've got Netflix offering they you know, up to a year. 445 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,359 Speaker 1: They say unlimited, but it sounds like employees tend to 446 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 1: take as much as a year. Etsy and Google there 447 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 1: there at six months. There are so many companies of 448 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 1: Facebook also, I think that's six months. Sorry, Google might 449 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:51,400 Speaker 1: get twenty twenty something weeks twenty yeah, but they're all 450 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: significantly over what FMLA offers, which is twelve weeks. And FMLA, 451 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,680 Speaker 1: as you know, is unpaid, whereas these companies are paying 452 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,200 Speaker 1: their employees, and most of them are paying them their 453 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:07,119 Speaker 1: full salaries. I'll also say that leading the charge are 454 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:12,280 Speaker 1: some progressive states. So there are state policies now in California, 455 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,360 Speaker 1: Rhode Island, New Jersey, and New York just went into 456 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 1: effect January first. Yes, I did hear about that. I'll 457 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,359 Speaker 1: be very interested. And that is where you know, once 458 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 1: there's actual mandated policies, then that actually is when I'm 459 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,560 Speaker 1: thinking my friends in healthcare may finally be able to 460 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,399 Speaker 1: reap some benefit. Although I know it's like it's some 461 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 1: fraction of your salary is covered, but hey, at least 462 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:38,400 Speaker 1: your job is safe. And yeah, so in New York, 463 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:42,520 Speaker 1: the policy is going to improve each year. So right now, 464 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,320 Speaker 1: it's fifty percent of your salary up to the median 465 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,680 Speaker 1: salary in New York, which I believe is about seventy 466 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,119 Speaker 1: seventy thousand, seventy five thousand, and it's for eight weeks, 467 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: and then it's going to become Next year it'll be 468 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,920 Speaker 1: fifty five percent, and I think when it's all said 469 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,480 Speaker 1: and done, it'll be even higher than that. And you know, 470 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 1: of course we'd all like to keep our entire salary, 471 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,720 Speaker 1: but it's like you said, job protective leave and getting 472 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 1: some money in when you could really use it. I mean, 473 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 1: for me, I plan on keeping my son, who's out 474 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: of the womb already. I want his routine to stay 475 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 1: the same. I want him to keep going to preschool. 476 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 1: That costs money. If my salaries reduced, I'm tapping into 477 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:26,119 Speaker 1: my savings to pay for that. So it's so important 478 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:30,639 Speaker 1: that companies and states and hope, with any luck, the 479 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,119 Speaker 1: country recognizes it's a real struggle just to bring a 480 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:38,200 Speaker 1: child into the world and make ends meet. And luckily 481 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 1: this is a national conversation now, you know, for the 482 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 1: first time. You know, back in the twenty sixteen election, 483 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,720 Speaker 1: both parties were talking about paid family leave. That's historic, 484 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:50,359 Speaker 1: that hasn't happened before. And even with Donald Trump's State 485 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 1: of the Union speech, he brought it up again, so 486 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 1: it's not dead issue. I was concerned that, Okay, Avanka 487 00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,359 Speaker 1: tried it's not happening, but he mentioned it again, so 488 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,080 Speaker 1: fingers crossed that there is going to be something on 489 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,840 Speaker 1: the table at Waking Mother. We really support the Family Act, 490 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:09,520 Speaker 1: which is co sponsored by Kirsten Gilibrand and Rose de Loro, 491 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 1: and that guarantees more paid leave than FMLA, which is 492 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 1: actually turning twenty five tomorrow. FMLI has been around for 493 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 1: twenty five years, but it's not paid leave, and this 494 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: country is ready for paid leave like the rest of 495 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:27,760 Speaker 1: the world. One last question is I don't want to 496 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: keep you for too long, but do you see speaking 497 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,199 Speaker 1: of the rest of the world, I know that in 498 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 1: certain countries, in Europe especially, there are some policies in 499 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,200 Speaker 1: effect to encourage men to take more leave, to kind 500 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 1: of set the groundwork for them to be an active 501 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 1: parent from you know, day zero of the baby's life. 502 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,120 Speaker 1: Do you see any trends towards that in the US 503 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 1: as well? Because is people offering fathers good packages too? Yes, 504 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:55,760 Speaker 1: so the trend right now is gender neutral family leave. 505 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter, and I agree, it shouldn't matter how 506 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,879 Speaker 1: you welcome your baby or who is the person that 507 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,399 Speaker 1: is welcoming the baby. A baby is a baby and 508 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:08,199 Speaker 1: takes a lot of work. Until we start saying to 509 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:13,959 Speaker 1: moms and dads that their value doing child care is 510 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,680 Speaker 1: worth it to us, then men aren't going to take 511 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: that leave. They're going to think, oh, I should be 512 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 1: at work. You know it's important for me. You know, 513 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,320 Speaker 1: women should be the ones at home taking maternity leave 514 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,600 Speaker 1: and doing the child care work. No, it needs to 515 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,959 Speaker 1: be an equal effort on both parts. Otherwise, you know 516 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: who gets bogged down the moms as usual. But yes, 517 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:36,960 Speaker 1: we are seeing way more gender neutral policies. Moms and 518 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 1: dads are getting the same amount of leave and the 519 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:43,919 Speaker 1: same percentage paid at more and more companies. It's not 520 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 1: perfect yet, you know, it's still maternity leave is still 521 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 1: more likely to exist and be taken by moms than 522 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:57,640 Speaker 1: paternity leave, but more companies are recognizing that dads want 523 00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 1: this to dads need to be at home helping the moms, 524 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,919 Speaker 1: and they're making it happen. And the other trend is 525 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 1: they're extending those benefits to couples, to people who are 526 00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 1: welcoming children through adoption, through fostering, or through gestational surrogate. 527 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:17,120 Speaker 1: And I fully support that kids are kids no matter 528 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 1: how they're brought into this world. I agree that is awesome. Well, 529 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. I wish Laura's Laura. 530 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,479 Speaker 1: Can you hear us now? I want to say anything, 531 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 1: just a little bit, I'll say thank you very much 532 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,480 Speaker 1: Meredith for doing this. We really appreciate hearing from you, 533 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 1: and we wish you the best of luck on welcoming 534 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,560 Speaker 1: number two into your family. Oh I'm going to need it. 535 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: Thank you, and thank you so much for having me. Well, 536 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:43,960 Speaker 1: welcome to our Q and Egg segment. This is Laura, 537 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 1: and I'm back after my horrible technical difficulties. So I'm 538 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,960 Speaker 1: excited about this awesome interview that Sarah did and I 539 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,160 Speaker 1: wish I could have been a part of it, but 540 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,880 Speaker 1: was not. Sorry about that. So yeah, r Q and A. 541 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: We got a wonderful question, A very thought provoking question 542 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,960 Speaker 1: from a woman and who had listened to our podcast 543 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,320 Speaker 1: a few weeks ago and wanted to write us about 544 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 1: something she'd heard. So she says, disclaimer. I know this 545 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,480 Speaker 1: is sensitive, written with curiosity and no judgment, which is 546 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,600 Speaker 1: how we interpret letters in general, so thank you for that. 547 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 1: But she says, I'm a big fan of your podcast. 548 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,720 Speaker 1: I've been reading Sarah's blog for years because she's a 549 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 1: big Planner fan. She's married and working in the technology 550 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 1: space in a very demanding role. She was already in this. 551 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,520 Speaker 1: She wrote this in January and she was in China 552 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,720 Speaker 1: for her second business trip there of the calendar year. 553 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 1: She says, I'm thirty and I am struggling with the 554 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: decision of whether to have children or not. I just 555 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,000 Speaker 1: listened to your podcasts on Friendship. At the end, you 556 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,640 Speaker 1: discussed how to spend winter days with children. I found 557 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,680 Speaker 1: your responses of and sort of paraphrasing here. Remember that 558 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,000 Speaker 1: you're just trying to get through the time. Once you 559 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 1: feel the two time spots, it's dinner time and bedtime, 560 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 1: you're peat on Sunday, and then the weekend is over. 561 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:54,520 Speaker 1: I've found this unsettling. I absolutely don't want you to 562 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,520 Speaker 1: sugarcoat anything, and I'm sure that most mothers were able 563 00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,600 Speaker 1: to relate to this and take away some pointers that said. 564 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 1: It really made me consider, if that is how I 565 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 1: want to spend my weekends, is it really worth it? 566 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 1: And she means by this, is it worth it to 567 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:10,959 Speaker 1: have kids? Currently? I look forward to my weekends with 568 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,720 Speaker 1: my husband. We have adventures and plans, and I always 569 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:19,840 Speaker 1: wish my weekends were longer, never shorter. So she's asking 570 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 1: us about this. You know, obviously we can't tell her 571 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 1: whether to have kids or not or anything about that. 572 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,440 Speaker 1: It's very hard to convey the joy that children bring. 573 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,240 Speaker 1: But she's wondering if others heard that, of our trying 574 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 1: to get through the weekends and planning our weekends with 575 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,760 Speaker 1: something of an eye to fill the time, and what 576 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,280 Speaker 1: we thought about that. So, Sarah, what did you want 577 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 1: to say on that one? Yeah? So much to stay 578 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 1: on that one. I thought it was a great question 579 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 1: and brought up a really interesting point. Made me think 580 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,360 Speaker 1: about how we talked about it. But I sort of 581 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,800 Speaker 1: stand behind I do stand behind how we framed it, 582 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,720 Speaker 1: because sometimes the day to day of raising young kids 583 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 1: can be very very hard. It's just a really I 584 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 1: guess expensive is a right word thing to do in 585 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,280 Speaker 1: terms of both your time, i'm in your finances. But 586 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,080 Speaker 1: at least in my case, I found that number one, 587 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 1: the joy has outweighed the tough times and it's like 588 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:13,320 Speaker 1: a deep kind of joy. And number two for at 589 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:14,880 Speaker 1: least some of us. And I know that's not all 590 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,520 Speaker 1: of us, and it may not apply to the person 591 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,040 Speaker 1: who wrote in here, but there was a primal call 592 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:24,240 Speaker 1: towards having children, like I could not have been happy. Well, 593 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 1: I probably would have found a way to be happy, 594 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 1: but I would have tried very very hard, and I 595 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,000 Speaker 1: did try pretty hard actually if I had not, you know, 596 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,920 Speaker 1: to have kids and to have a family. So there 597 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,240 Speaker 1: are definitely people and I have many friends actually who 598 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,120 Speaker 1: are child free. I'm really happy with that. So I 599 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 1: know it's not for everybody. But just because there are 600 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 1: some tough weekends and there will be to me, doesn't 601 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 1: in any way make me wonder if I made the 602 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,000 Speaker 1: right decision, Like there was no other decision I could 603 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 1: have made that would have made any sense to me 604 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 1: at the time, or would make sense to me now. 605 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 1: With that said, you know, even though the overall, weekends 606 00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 1: are hard, there are definitely slices of joy. So even 607 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 1: if you're trying to kind of fill up the time, 608 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 1: and I do feel like I have more fun during 609 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,720 Speaker 1: the weekend if I've thought about how to quote unquote 610 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 1: fill up the time, there are still these beautiful moments, 611 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:12,120 Speaker 1: And I feel like, as as sort of a reward 612 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:15,400 Speaker 1: for maybe feeling more like some of my weekends are 613 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:19,240 Speaker 1: work than a child free friend, I feel like I've 614 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 1: grown in ways that non parents probably don't ever get 615 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 1: to understand. Now, maybe they're growing in ways that I 616 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 1: will never get to understand, like they're able to read 617 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 1: more or have more exotic adventures, and that's fine. But 618 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: I find my own depth that I've gained upon having 619 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,239 Speaker 1: kids and growing a family to be a privilege. So 620 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,640 Speaker 1: I guess I would say yes, sometimes wishing weekends are 621 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:41,320 Speaker 1: shorter is a reality for some of us with kids. 622 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,200 Speaker 1: I'm not going to sugarcoat with that. Sometimes I am 623 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,400 Speaker 1: so happy to be at work on Monday, knowing that 624 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: my nanny is taking care of the kids and that 625 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 1: they're going to school, and that I'm not thinking about 626 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 1: them at all. Really, I'm thinking adult thoughts and doing 627 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:58,600 Speaker 1: adult things. But at the same time, there's a beauty 628 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,600 Speaker 1: in the struggle, I guess, and I do think that 629 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 1: the older the kids have gotten, the less that I 630 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 1: find that getting through feeling to be there. So in 631 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,640 Speaker 1: some ways, I would say the getting through applies more 632 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 1: to the toddler years, which are short once they are, 633 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 1: you know, close to Some people say survive until five, 634 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:17,560 Speaker 1: but close to school age. I don't find as much 635 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: of that to be the case, and maybe that's just 636 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,479 Speaker 1: my own preference, but that's kind of how it's been 637 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 1: with me. In fact, I would say right now, the 638 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,720 Speaker 1: most challenging is my middle because my younger is extremely 639 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 1: cuddly and fun and easy, and my older is really 640 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 1: at a place where I think I'm getting away from 641 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,560 Speaker 1: that getting through feeling like we can have real conversations 642 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,720 Speaker 1: and do real things, and she doesn't require, you know, 643 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:43,840 Speaker 1: moment to moment hands on care. So I guess in summary, 644 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:47,719 Speaker 1: I stand by what we say. I think it's temporary. 645 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:49,640 Speaker 1: For me, it's been one hundred percent worth it. And 646 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 1: it's almost like I couldn't have asked the question to 647 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 1: begin with, because I just knew what I wanted one 648 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,600 Speaker 1: way or the other, and I hope this helps you 649 00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,120 Speaker 1: absolutely don't have to have kids either. I think think 650 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,320 Speaker 1: it's wonderful that you're, you know, really thinking through it 651 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,040 Speaker 1: one way or the other. But I do feel like 652 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,319 Speaker 1: if you feel biologically drawn to it, or you can't 653 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 1: get it out of your mind, or feel like you'd 654 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,480 Speaker 1: regret not doing it, then I think you can move 655 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,520 Speaker 1: forward without too much fear. Yeah, I would also say 656 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,280 Speaker 1: that there are sort of practical things. I love Sarah's answer. 657 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,839 Speaker 1: That was great answer she had there. There's also sort 658 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,520 Speaker 1: of practical things that you can do to keep some 659 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:29,719 Speaker 1: of that feeling about the weekend being more for relaxing, 660 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:33,319 Speaker 1: even if you do have very young kids. I think 661 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,279 Speaker 1: part of what you say is, you know, she's being 662 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,879 Speaker 1: sent to China all the time. Here, there's jet lag, 663 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,360 Speaker 1: she's like sleeping off on the weekend, so the idea 664 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:44,320 Speaker 1: of being on all weekend is pretty hard for her here. 665 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,919 Speaker 1: There are things to think about here, which is that 666 00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,520 Speaker 1: if her role is taking her to China all the time, 667 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,400 Speaker 1: like multiple times per month, I'm hoping she is decently 668 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:59,000 Speaker 1: compensated in return. Right, And my guest, given that many 669 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:03,400 Speaker 1: women wind up with partners who are sort of similarly professional. 670 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 1: You know, if her husband is also like equally well compensate. 671 00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,239 Speaker 1: We are not talking like a low income family here, 672 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,879 Speaker 1: Like I'm guessing these two people have pretty high end job. Yeah, 673 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:16,120 Speaker 1: I know that's fair. Multiple business trips to China, yeah, 674 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 1: And so they have the resources to help with that. 675 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 1: And I have some friends who made a decision both 676 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,200 Speaker 1: with very intense jobs that they actually wound up hiring 677 00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,440 Speaker 1: a second full time nanny who works on the weekends. 678 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,799 Speaker 1: And this person reports to work Friday night at eight 679 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,680 Speaker 1: pm and works till Sunday at about two pm, which 680 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 1: if you do the math, that's that's around you know, 681 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,960 Speaker 1: forty two hours or I'm not thinking through it right now, 682 00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:39,640 Speaker 1: but you know, it's just slightly over forty hours. So 683 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:43,400 Speaker 1: it's a full time job. She is on overnight for 684 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,600 Speaker 1: those two nights, right, So she's basically there the weekend 685 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,600 Speaker 1: from eight pm Friday to two pm on Sunday, so 686 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:53,080 Speaker 1: they can sleep, so they can you know, go out 687 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,239 Speaker 1: as a couple of Friday and Saturday night. They also 688 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,920 Speaker 1: have a fair number of children, so it's also part 689 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,120 Speaker 1: about having someone there to take the younger children's so 690 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,759 Speaker 1: that they can take the older kids to stuff so 691 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,840 Speaker 1: they can go to sports events or practices or birthday 692 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,839 Speaker 1: parties with older kids without having to drag a little 693 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,719 Speaker 1: one along, which the little one is again as we 694 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,000 Speaker 1: talked about, the one who can make it more difficult 695 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 1: and more feeling like you're trying to get through the weekend. 696 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,880 Speaker 1: So they, yeah, they wind up spending a fair amount 697 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:18,359 Speaker 1: of time with their kids, but they don't have all 698 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,480 Speaker 1: the harsh downsides of it, Like if one of them 699 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,480 Speaker 1: wants to go to the gym, it's not you know, 700 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,600 Speaker 1: begging the other one to take it, even though the 701 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,520 Speaker 1: other one's pissed off because you were in China all week, Like, 702 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:31,799 Speaker 1: you don't have that same tension. So I would say 703 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,880 Speaker 1: for them, they might also think about how they could 704 00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 1: use their resources strategically to make that possible. And even 705 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:39,759 Speaker 1: if you don't have the full time weekend nanny, just 706 00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,080 Speaker 1: having some hours of childcare on the weekend go a 707 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,879 Speaker 1: long way towards make you feel like you can still 708 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:48,160 Speaker 1: relax and you're good. Well anyway, those have been our answers. 709 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,279 Speaker 1: We have paused there and we both think about this, 710 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 1: but this has been best of both worlds. This is 711 00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:57,200 Speaker 1: Episode twenty nine. Will be back next week with more 712 00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:03,720 Speaker 1: I'm making work in life fit together. Thanks for listening. 713 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,040 Speaker 1: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com 714 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,960 Speaker 1: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can 715 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:15,239 Speaker 1: find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has 716 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:18,520 Speaker 1: been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us 717 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,960 Speaker 1: next time for more on making work and life work together.