1
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,600
Speaker 1: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome back to the Bob Wefts. That's fivecast.

2
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:17,400
Speaker 1: My guest today is the one and only Amy Amy.

3
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:21,720
Speaker 1: You're in your old studio. Your people say that you're

4
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:26,880
Speaker 1: very technologically savvy, so tell me about that.

5
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,800
Speaker 2: That's really funny considering that I was just saying I

6
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:30,600
Speaker 2: always messed this up, and for once I had it

7
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,839
Speaker 2: working right from the get go. Yeah, I guess I started.

8
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:39,040
Speaker 2: You know, what can I say? Like, we make our demos.

9
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,960
Speaker 2: Been doing that for twenty plus years at this point.

10
00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:44,839
Speaker 2: So learning pro tools and all that, it's been a

11
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,239
Speaker 2: major instrument in my life.

12
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,600
Speaker 1: So in the old days, you used to have a

13
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,000
Speaker 1: Portis studio, et cetera. How'd you start recording?

14
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:56,080
Speaker 2: Well, when we were in high school, the guy that

15
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,600
Speaker 2: we started the band together, Ben Moody, it was all

16
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,880
Speaker 2: about whatever we get our hands on. It wasn't like

17
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,559
Speaker 2: pro tools back then. It was like an eight track

18
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,920
Speaker 2: or a sixteen track recorder where you record some and

19
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:10,000
Speaker 2: then you bounce them down, you know, until you run

20
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,679
Speaker 2: out of room and just like making songs like that.

21
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,199
Speaker 2: So that just has evolved over the years as technology

22
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:20,000
Speaker 2: has changed and become something where I can use more

23
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,720
Speaker 2: and more from home on the actual records.

24
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,520
Speaker 1: So today you record in pro tools or logic? What

25
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,360
Speaker 1: do you use pro tools?

26
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,760
Speaker 2: I've actually been using pro tools since like right after

27
00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,920
Speaker 2: we finished our first big tour, which was fallen. We

28
00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:39,680
Speaker 2: got home and I had our in your monitor guy

29
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,840
Speaker 2: come over and just like spend a day. I was like,

30
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:42,920
Speaker 2: just teach me how to do this so I can

31
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:48,040
Speaker 2: do it myself. And then I've always had wonderful engineer

32
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,520
Speaker 2: type dudes in my life that I can call and

33
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,640
Speaker 2: be like, help, I'm stuck. So here I am.

34
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,600
Speaker 1: Are you generally good with tech?

35
00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:58,760
Speaker 3: It's really just a necessity thing.

36
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,480
Speaker 2: No, I kind of I'm where I would call myself

37
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,600
Speaker 2: an analog girl in a digital world. But when you

38
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,400
Speaker 2: care about something enough, you know you find a way.

39
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,560
Speaker 1: So so, how much equipment do you have at home?

40
00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:15,880
Speaker 2: I got this lovely Telefunken Mike that I've been using

41
00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,960
Speaker 2: this year. Now you forty seven. I really I've got

42
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,560
Speaker 2: a lot of keyboards. I've been using the profit more

43
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,560
Speaker 2: than any of them in the last couple of years

44
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:28,200
Speaker 2: as we've been working on this new music. What else

45
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,680
Speaker 2: have I got? Just lots of keyboard stuff, a good

46
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,040
Speaker 2: little pro tool set up, I don't like it to

47
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,920
Speaker 2: get too complicated because I get bogged down in that.

48
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,440
Speaker 3: You know, it's like you spend too much. I hate it.

49
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:38,919
Speaker 2: It's the worst thing ever when you come out you

50
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,840
Speaker 2: want to work on something and the stuff won't work

51
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,720
Speaker 2: and you just want to get your idea down and

52
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,560
Speaker 2: not deal with you know, when you're fiddling with the

53
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,200
Speaker 2: remote how it's the most annoying thing in the world.

54
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,320
Speaker 2: Just drains your energy. So I try to keep it

55
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:50,000
Speaker 2: fairly simple.

56
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:55,000
Speaker 1: So when do you get your ideas all.

57
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,480
Speaker 2: The time, all the time? Anytime? Sometimes it takes a

58
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:57,959
Speaker 2: long time.

59
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,640
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, okay, so you're coming up with ideas

60
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,079
Speaker 1: all the time some people. For me, I get good

61
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,679
Speaker 1: ideas in the shower. It's like, if I'm sitting in

62
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,920
Speaker 1: front of the computer and trying to come up with ideas,

63
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,680
Speaker 1: that's hard. Yeah, But if I'm.

64
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,480
Speaker 3: Doing something else, why I totally agree with that.

65
00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:15,760
Speaker 2: Usually, like I guess, driving in the car, I like

66
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,440
Speaker 2: to walk in the woods, walk down the street. I

67
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:25,239
Speaker 2: lived in Brooklyn for thirteen years, and it was always

68
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,800
Speaker 2: really inspiring to me. If I ever felt like, I

69
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,079
Speaker 2: don't know, I needed inspiration or just to clear my head,

70
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,200
Speaker 2: to just get out of the house and walk put

71
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,400
Speaker 2: headphones on or not, and just walk around the neighborhood

72
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,640
Speaker 2: and like smell other people's cooking and hear the music

73
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:42,240
Speaker 2: they're playing and overheard conversations and all that.

74
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:46,880
Speaker 1: So when Amy Lee walks down the street to people recognize.

75
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,840
Speaker 2: Her sometimes not all the time, probably not as much

76
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,680
Speaker 2: as you'd think, you know, it kind of depends it. Actually,

77
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,040
Speaker 2: it is dependent on if we're like actively have a

78
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,880
Speaker 2: single out at the moment, because it's like if you're

79
00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,760
Speaker 2: in somebody's mind, they're like, oh, hey, there she is.

80
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,080
Speaker 2: But I generally like to go pretty young. I don't

81
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,600
Speaker 2: wear the black eyelander in like real life very much.

82
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,560
Speaker 1: Okay, And how do you deal with it when someone

83
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:09,240
Speaker 1: comes up to you?

84
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,240
Speaker 2: I think people, honestly, people are mostly pretty nice. People

85
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,600
Speaker 2: are if they're I don't know if it's like specific

86
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,480
Speaker 2: to like our type of music or what, but usually

87
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,760
Speaker 2: it's people being cool, just being like, oh my god,

88
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,880
Speaker 2: I've loved you since high school or like that one

89
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,520
Speaker 2: song changed my life, and you're just like thanks and

90
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,080
Speaker 2: you go on your way. It's it's not so good

91
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,800
Speaker 2: when they follow you home. That's that's the part where

92
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,520
Speaker 2: you got to kind of go, okay.

93
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:37,760
Speaker 1: Okay, being a woman in music to what degree or

94
00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:39,040
Speaker 1: stalker is a problem.

95
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,160
Speaker 2: It's it's been a problem. It's been a real problem

96
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:44,679
Speaker 2: from from early days.

97
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:53,000
Speaker 1: Actually, Okay, are these people just mentally ill or they infatuated?

98
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:59,680
Speaker 2: I I do, honestly like the ones that have been serious,

99
00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:02,839
Speaker 2: you know, like a serious problem. It is mental illness,

100
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,839
Speaker 2: and it's it's you kinda. I mean, I've learned how

101
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,359
Speaker 2: naturally what you want to do is what are they thinking?

102
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,680
Speaker 2: You know, like get inside the head of somebody and

103
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:17,640
Speaker 2: you can't like something's broken in there. So I try to,

104
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,240
Speaker 2: you know, we have as much grace as possible at

105
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,200
Speaker 2: the same time, like there is there is a line

106
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,479
Speaker 2: that has to be drawn, and it is. It is

107
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:28,760
Speaker 2: different being being a woman, and it's different having a family.

108
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,480
Speaker 2: You know, it's not just about protecting myself. There's a

109
00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:36,080
Speaker 2: bigger layer there where security has become you know, really

110
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:40,520
Speaker 2: just important. Obviously it's important. But yeah, it's funny you

111
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:40,960
Speaker 2: brought that.

112
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,000
Speaker 3: Up quickly in the interview.

113
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,840
Speaker 2: It's definitely very real in my life and I will

114
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:45,719
Speaker 2: talk about it very much.

115
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,839
Speaker 1: So having these bad experiences, does that make you anxious

116
00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:52,640
Speaker 1: about getting close to your fans.

117
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:58,440
Speaker 2: H I I have Well there, I think it's more

118
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,200
Speaker 2: like just knowing the balance, knowing line, knowing the balance

119
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:04,760
Speaker 2: of you know, where's the line where there's a there's

120
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,120
Speaker 2: a difference between people that really know you and that

121
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,760
Speaker 2: you really know and the fans. And I love our fans,

122
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,080
Speaker 2: but you do have to be careful. You definitely do

123
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,480
Speaker 2: have to draw that line. Yeah.

124
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,440
Speaker 1: Well, let me give you an example from my own life.

125
00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:22,560
Speaker 1: The people who send the longest emails are the weirdest people,

126
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,200
Speaker 1: and the people have to be afraid of They're passionate,

127
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,039
Speaker 1: as opposed to someone to just send you a couple

128
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:33,360
Speaker 1: of sentences or apparently sure. Sure, My point being the

129
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,440
Speaker 1: way I say, you know, ten percent of the public

130
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,680
Speaker 1: is certifiably nuts. You just don't know what ten percent

131
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:39,080
Speaker 1: it is.

132
00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:43,080
Speaker 2: It's true, It's true. Yeah, I can get a lot

133
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:43,919
Speaker 2: worse than a long email.

134
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,640
Speaker 1: To what degree are you available online?

135
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,359
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm less available online than most people

136
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,039
Speaker 2: these days. It didn't used to be such a sort

137
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:59,440
Speaker 2: of I don't know, essential piece being constantly you know,

138
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:03,440
Speaker 2: engaging directly because it well, it didn't used to really

139
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,760
Speaker 2: be possible. But when we started out it was like

140
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,400
Speaker 2: there was my Space, and I feel like Facebook was

141
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,600
Speaker 2: maybe just beginning, but it wasn't even like I didn't

142
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,760
Speaker 2: even there was chat rooms like we would do like

143
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,960
Speaker 2: a fun like I don't remember what we called him,

144
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,000
Speaker 2: like a log thing like a little thread we can

145
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,560
Speaker 2: go and you could always see the conversation like frozen there,

146
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,160
Speaker 2: which was cute. But for the most part, that sort

147
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,440
Speaker 2: of started happening later. And there's I feel like there's

148
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:34,200
Speaker 2: a really good side as well as a dark side

149
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:38,200
Speaker 2: to that. And the good side is I used to

150
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,720
Speaker 2: get I don't know, a lot of anxiety doing interviews, honestly,

151
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,880
Speaker 2: because I found, you know, we came out to see

152
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,720
Speaker 2: when I was twenty one, honestly, just a couple years

153
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,040
Speaker 2: at high school, and you just, you know, suddenly like

154
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,240
Speaker 2: in this big arena with everybody looking at you and

155
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,880
Speaker 2: talking about you and judging you and whatever, and trying

156
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,200
Speaker 2: to see, okay, is this legit? Or I love you

157
00:07:59,240 --> 00:07:59,560
Speaker 2: so much?

158
00:07:59,600 --> 00:07:59,960
Speaker 3: Whatever it is?

159
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,400
Speaker 2: So all these interviews, you know, when it gets put

160
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,600
Speaker 2: in print and on a big platform and your face

161
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,000
Speaker 2: is on the cover and all those things, and you

162
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,920
Speaker 2: don't have any control over like how that comes across

163
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,600
Speaker 2: it's different. It's school that we're doing a podcast because

164
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,600
Speaker 2: you can hear the tones of our voices and like

165
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,960
Speaker 2: what we're saying. But I feel like so often, you know,

166
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,520
Speaker 2: things get sort of misunderstood or translated in a different way.

167
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,200
Speaker 3: I written down wrong, and I oftentimes.

168
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,480
Speaker 2: Felt like people felt like they had a story to

169
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:33,600
Speaker 2: write in their mind before we ever really spoke, when

170
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,840
Speaker 2: it was like, you know, just summon us up, who's

171
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:39,360
Speaker 2: this new kid in town kind of thing. Now I

172
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,000
Speaker 2: feel like I can just say something or clear something up,

173
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,560
Speaker 2: or if something's a misunderstanding or any drama, it's like, hey, guys,

174
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:45,160
Speaker 2: here's a deal.

175
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,959
Speaker 3: You know it's not don't have to be a big thing.

176
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,360
Speaker 1: Well, I will say the press always gets it wrong

177
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:55,400
Speaker 1: basically dealing with me and I without telling my own examples.

178
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,800
Speaker 1: But let's go back to the anxiety. Obviously you were

179
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,000
Speaker 1: on the stage before. I mean it's sometimes tens of thousands.

180
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:07,120
Speaker 1: Let's go back to high school or maybe your regular life. Now,

181
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:13,240
Speaker 1: do you have social anxiety of any degree talking to people?

182
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,440
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't really feel that way, but

183
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,600
Speaker 2: maybe we all do to some degree. Yeah, sure, there's

184
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,880
Speaker 2: times when you don't want to be on and you

185
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,640
Speaker 2: have to be on. But I mean, I don't know,

186
00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,920
Speaker 2: maybe you deal with that too. It's just one of

187
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,640
Speaker 2: those things where you have to get in the right

188
00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,600
Speaker 2: mindset of like, all right, it's just talking. I don't know.

189
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,079
Speaker 3: Oh ky, social anxiety.

190
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,000
Speaker 2: Sure, I mean after pandemic listen, after that, having to

191
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,120
Speaker 2: go back on stage again was weird. It was really

192
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,320
Speaker 2: really weird at first, even masked up alone in your

193
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,600
Speaker 2: house wearing pjs for like a year and a half,

194
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,080
Speaker 2: and then it's like, cool, get on stage in front

195
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,680
Speaker 2: of like seven thousand people, no problem.

196
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:52,960
Speaker 3: I feel like we're back though.

197
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,640
Speaker 1: Okay, at this point in time, other than your husband

198
00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:00,760
Speaker 1: and your child, do you have any people who were friends,

199
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,560
Speaker 1: forget business, who you're in contact with on a regular basis.

200
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,120
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, of course, Well not necessarily, of course there

201
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,280
Speaker 1: are people. Okay. Oh, so would you call one of

202
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,760
Speaker 1: those people and say, hey, assuming they live near you, hey,

203
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,439
Speaker 1: let's get together and say are you more waiting for

204
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,640
Speaker 1: them to suggest it, and you'll say yes or no.

205
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,000
Speaker 3: It's definitely both.

206
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:24,240
Speaker 1: I have.

207
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,640
Speaker 2: I wouldn't I wouldn't be me if I didn't have

208
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,800
Speaker 2: real people and real friends in my life that I

209
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,959
Speaker 2: wanted to be around and called up and hung out

210
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:38,080
Speaker 2: with My best friend is maya hair and makeup artists

211
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,920
Speaker 2: for the last twenty years, trying to think when she

212
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,760
Speaker 2: actually came on the road. We met in high school

213
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,760
Speaker 2: and we're friends. And I went on the road and

214
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,080
Speaker 2: I was out for like I think six months without her,

215
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:55,640
Speaker 2: just doing our thing, and it was lonely and stressful,

216
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,560
Speaker 2: and I was the only girl ever all the time.

217
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,520
Speaker 2: I remember, I forget why it came up. And somebody's like,

218
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,240
Speaker 2: why don't you just have somebody, you know, do your

219
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,000
Speaker 2: hair and stuff? And I was like, I could do that, really,

220
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,200
Speaker 2: They're like, uh yeah, and I was. I called her

221
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,440
Speaker 2: and I was like, Hey, would you want to like

222
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,800
Speaker 2: quit the salon like for a year or whatever and

223
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,160
Speaker 2: like come on tour and do my hair and makeup

224
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:18,720
Speaker 2: and we get to hang out and see the world.

225
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,040
Speaker 3: And she was like, yes, hell, yes, I would love

226
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:21,559
Speaker 3: to do that.

227
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,760
Speaker 2: And we've been doing that ever since. I couldn't do

228
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,280
Speaker 2: it without Beth Wilson.

229
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,000
Speaker 1: How do you decide how much to pay a friend?

230
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,880
Speaker 2: Oh, that's hard. I would say, always overpay your friend.

231
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,120
Speaker 1: I would think so, but you know, it's weird when

232
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,720
Speaker 1: you mix friendship and money.

233
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,240
Speaker 3: Sure, it is, of course it is. That's why it's

234
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,040
Speaker 3: a true friendship.

235
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,800
Speaker 2: Like and I think you know, we're all in that

236
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,920
Speaker 2: situation being in a band together and working together. We

237
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,360
Speaker 2: are we are making money, you know, and that is

238
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,199
Speaker 2: a part of it. But we also have to have trust.

239
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:57,480
Speaker 2: We also have to really love what we're doing and

240
00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,600
Speaker 2: love each other and want to I feel like that.

241
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,040
Speaker 2: When it's not like that, that's when things start breaking down.

242
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,079
Speaker 1: You know, I'm beating a dead horse with anxiety thing.

243
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,960
Speaker 1: But since you mentioned I want to focus. Okay, okay,

244
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:12,880
Speaker 1: you were in high school, You're going to class like

245
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:18,440
Speaker 1: anybody else. Are you more of you know, there's some

246
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,680
Speaker 1: people who are constantly talking, they're the life of the party.

247
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,480
Speaker 1: Than the other extreme, there's the loner. Obviously you're not

248
00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:30,680
Speaker 1: that person. But are you the type of person who's

249
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:34,120
Speaker 1: more Aggressive's got a bad connotation, but more putting yourself

250
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:38,839
Speaker 1: out there in social situations, not work situations or not

251
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:39,680
Speaker 1: bearing your music.

252
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:43,160
Speaker 2: I'm more I'm yeah, I'm a natural introvert. Like I

253
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:47,480
Speaker 2: I not because I'm afraid. It's not about anxiety. It's

254
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:51,520
Speaker 2: because I love being by myself or like with one person.

255
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,440
Speaker 2: I'm just sort of an intimate person. So, and I

256
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,160
Speaker 2: love to make stuff. I love to be quiet and

257
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:03,400
Speaker 2: be by myself create It's usually music, but also art

258
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:07,600
Speaker 2: and crafting and or just being with a bestie. Having

259
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,600
Speaker 2: a deep conversation is so much more me than go

260
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,880
Speaker 2: into a show or go into a party where there's

261
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,720
Speaker 2: a bunch of people talking and it's noisy and you

262
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,400
Speaker 2: gotta keep your brain constantly moving from one thing to

263
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,280
Speaker 2: the next. That, yes, my my favorite is definitely the

264
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:21,880
Speaker 2: calmer one.

265
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,240
Speaker 3: But I do both, I mean right, right, But.

266
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:29,199
Speaker 1: You answered the question being a naturally introvert, et cetera. Yeah,

267
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,559
Speaker 1: So how does a natural introvert wanting a loane time

268
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,360
Speaker 1: cope with having a child?

269
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:40,880
Speaker 2: Aw, he's he's my favorite. There's I mean, I don't

270
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,960
Speaker 2: know if you have kids, but I do not have kids.

271
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:49,480
Speaker 2: I you can't be prepared for, like how much love

272
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,960
Speaker 2: for me personally? Like I didn't know that I had

273
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,640
Speaker 2: that extra chamber in my heart just waiting to open

274
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,840
Speaker 2: up and love somebody so much. I love my son.

275
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:02,800
Speaker 2: I would love to be around him all the time.

276
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,120
Speaker 2: I need space for my brain to be quiet. Or

277
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,800
Speaker 2: we're actually wired kind of similarly He likes it quiet too,

278
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,240
Speaker 2: so like we can just sit and be quiet and

279
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,640
Speaker 2: enjoy something together without constantly mommy this, mommy that he's

280
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:14,000
Speaker 2: not like that.

281
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:14,640
Speaker 3: He's a cool kid.

282
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:19,360
Speaker 1: Is he aware that you're Amy Lee performer? Yes?

283
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,840
Speaker 2: And he has just over the past like year or

284
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,880
Speaker 2: so maybe two, really reached that age where he thinks

285
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,640
Speaker 2: it's really cool and realizes that it isn't normal. I

286
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,440
Speaker 2: don't know if maybe in the beginning he thought every's

287
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,800
Speaker 2: mom was a rock star, but now he knows it's

288
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,680
Speaker 2: special and it's really cool and he likes to tell everybody.

289
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,880
Speaker 1: So how does he deal with that with his friends?

290
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,720
Speaker 3: He has one friend that like teases me. He's like, oh,

291
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:43,840
Speaker 3: I have a nesscence is here.

292
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:50,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, shut up, Okay, I gotta stop right now. Okay,

293
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,920
Speaker 1: in that I know you've been at. Evan Essence is

294
00:14:53,960 --> 00:15:00,760
Speaker 1: a word I've used since college. Okay, not regular the public.

295
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,400
Speaker 1: How did it become evanescence?

296
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,280
Speaker 3: Well, that's why.

297
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:10,000
Speaker 2: That's why it was one of those things where every

298
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:14,280
Speaker 2: every every word that or or a couple of words

299
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,440
Speaker 2: that we were trying to think of to name the

300
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:20,360
Speaker 2: band back in those early early days reminded us of

301
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:24,640
Speaker 2: something else, and I think, you know, we really wanted

302
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,880
Speaker 2: something that was like nothing else. We wanted to be

303
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,400
Speaker 2: like nothing else, and we didn't want there to be

304
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,120
Speaker 2: any like previous connotation with the words. It was literally

305
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,160
Speaker 2: just became this like okay, just start looking for cruel

306
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:34,000
Speaker 2: words in the dictionary.

307
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,240
Speaker 3: And you know the meaning is important.

308
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,160
Speaker 2: You know, it's something about it, but it's it's more

309
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,440
Speaker 2: of just like it's almost like an adjective.

310
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:45,520
Speaker 1: But evanescence has a specific meaning. Yes, the concept of evanescence.

311
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,840
Speaker 1: Is it really just about the cool word, or it

312
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,720
Speaker 1: is about something being here and disappearing whatever.

313
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:52,240
Speaker 3: I don't know.

314
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:53,880
Speaker 2: I don't it wasn't that deep as far as the

315
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,720
Speaker 2: meaning of it, to be very honest, I think it's

316
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,800
Speaker 2: come to mean more over time, Like a lot of

317
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,840
Speaker 2: the stuff from back then just sort of like searching,

318
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:05,760
Speaker 2: you know, making sounds and figuring out what my voice

319
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,320
Speaker 2: sounds like, and taking the things that we're into, you know,

320
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:14,200
Speaker 2: from movie scores to like contemporary nineties music and all

321
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:18,200
Speaker 2: kinds of stuff classical and then making sounds that I

322
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,760
Speaker 2: don't know, Naming that is hard. I didn't want to

323
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,920
Speaker 2: like stick it in the box of any particular genre

324
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:28,880
Speaker 2: or connotation. So it's like, just find something beautiful and

325
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,640
Speaker 2: it's interesting. It's kind of funny, I don't it certainly

326
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:35,120
Speaker 2: wasn't intentional, but it's interesting because like over time, we

327
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:40,440
Speaker 2: are definitely a band who has like appeared and been

328
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 2: doing our thing and been very active and all that,

329
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,240
Speaker 2: and then just sort of disappeared for a while and

330
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:48,600
Speaker 2: come back, you know, when when when the time is right,

331
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,120
Speaker 2: when when it's in my heart, you know, and when

332
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,520
Speaker 2: when things line up like they're supposed to. So I

333
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,360
Speaker 2: don't know, maybe it's it's gotten a meaning over the years,

334
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,440
Speaker 2: but no, there's not a huge one, not really.

335
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:11,440
Speaker 1: Okay, people are interacting with you all the time, can

336
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,000
Speaker 1: they spell eminescence?

337
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:20,160
Speaker 2: Not always, you know, not always usually usually by now,

338
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,400
Speaker 2: come on, we've got time.

339
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:25,040
Speaker 1: Okay, back to you know, being an introvert. So I

340
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,440
Speaker 1: realize you have a child, but left to your own devices,

341
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,480
Speaker 1: you a morning person, night person.

342
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:36,320
Speaker 2: Oh night very much vampire hours naturally, but yeah, you

343
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 2: can't be that when you're a mom.

344
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,160
Speaker 3: So I was up six twenty this morning.

345
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,240
Speaker 1: So you say that you have ideas all the time,

346
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:49,800
Speaker 1: but do you find late night more inspiring than during the.

347
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:54,000
Speaker 2: Day generally, yeah, because it just feels like extra time.

348
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,719
Speaker 2: It's like nobody's waiting on me. There's not something else

349
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,720
Speaker 2: I'm supposed to be doing. You know, this is the

350
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,840
Speaker 2: free secret out. So I feel like naturally things kind

351
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,760
Speaker 2: of come to you then. But I don't know. I

352
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,440
Speaker 2: all throughout the day, like I'll think of a little

353
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,239
Speaker 2: melody idea or some like hear like a little bit

354
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:13,679
Speaker 2: of a song or something in my head and just

355
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,800
Speaker 2: grab my voice notes and stick it in there. And

356
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,440
Speaker 2: I've got I mean, there's over a thousand in here.

357
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,480
Speaker 2: So then when it's time to go into the studio

358
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,440
Speaker 2: and play, it's like, oh, what was I thinking about earlier?

359
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,919
Speaker 2: Scroll through the notes, find whatever that was, or just

360
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:28,400
Speaker 2: come in here.

361
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,880
Speaker 3: And when I don't have an idea, I.

362
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,160
Speaker 2: Love to just play with with keyboards, play with somethcizors,

363
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 2: turn it on, find an arpeggiator, hold one note and

364
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:36,399
Speaker 2: start singing stuff.

365
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:37,400
Speaker 3: That's always fun.

366
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:45,280
Speaker 1: Okay, people have different styles. What would trigger you wanting

367
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 1: to make an album?

368
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,199
Speaker 2: It's interesting you say album because it doesn't have to

369
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 2: be that anymore, right, like make a song, and it's

370
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 2: but we do we make albums. I think that that's

371
00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:06,320
Speaker 2: something that the fans want. I think that it's beautiful

372
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,080
Speaker 2: when you can come up with a full book of

373
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 2: music and put it out, it feels really good.

374
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,760
Speaker 3: It's also a big undertaking.

375
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,359
Speaker 2: So my thought isn't usually ever like I'm gonna go

376
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,680
Speaker 2: sit down and we're gonna make a whole album right now.

377
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,359
Speaker 2: As much as I, you know, want that, that seems daunting.

378
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 2: So for me, it's getting inspired about a single idea,

379
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:30,880
Speaker 2: about a song by a cool collaboration, you know, or

380
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,880
Speaker 2: you know, we we came up with something that feels new,

381
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 2: and it's like, oh, let's make more music that sounds

382
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:40,159
Speaker 2: like that, finding a great producer, lots of things. We're

383
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:44,080
Speaker 2: in the thick of it right now. And honestly, the

384
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:48,439
Speaker 2: last few years years from us have been I have

385
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 2: really felt like this upward trajectory this many years in

386
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:57,439
Speaker 2: so like playing shows, I'm trying to think when to

387
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 2: start the timeline from, but honestly, coming from the pandemic,

388
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 2: let's start there. Like we kind of just ramped up,

389
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 2: like each tour was like a bigger one and a

390
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:10,919
Speaker 2: bigger one and a bigger one for whatever reason, and

391
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 2: we had the bitter truth, which is our last album

392
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,640
Speaker 2: that we loved so much, having new music to play,

393
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 2: having something fresh to say. We had I felt like

394
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 2: I had so much to say when we were making

395
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 2: music in twenty nineteen, twenty twenty, that was that was

396
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 2: the big thing. And all of a sudden we were

397
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,439
Speaker 2: down this path and getting things out that felt like

398
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,440
Speaker 2: they're putting something good into the world, something useful, something

399
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 2: where we could connect and bring people together in a

400
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 2: positive way. But I now like at this point, running

401
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 2: off of that, I don't want I want to keep playing.

402
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,440
Speaker 2: We're having a great time, the band is in a

403
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 2: great place, the shows are bigger than ever, and I

404
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 2: need new songs, Like I don't want to play those

405
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,879
Speaker 2: same songs anywhere. They're awesome, But like I'm I'm changing still.

406
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 1: I guess what I'm asking the Stones legendarily come in, Well,

407
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,919
Speaker 1: you know, I have an idea. The Eagles did that

408
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: a certain way. It's talking about classic acts. I guess

409
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is you could come in with a song,

410
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 1: platform fully formed, you got a verse, ro out of chorus, whatever.

411
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,879
Speaker 1: But it's different from sitting Well, let me go to

412
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: my notes app and see what I have.

413
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 2: Well, see those both exist in my life for sure,

414
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,919
Speaker 2: Like if we're gonna get together, hey guys, let's get

415
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 2: there and do some writing. We do that all the time,

416
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,480
Speaker 2: just like honestly, I've been getting more into like camps.

417
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 2: Like we have a tour and we have a show

418
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 2: on Friday and Saturday, and then we don't have another

419
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 2: show until like the next Thursday. I'll be like, well,

420
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 2: instead of everybody going home, why don't we grab an

421
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 2: Airbnb set up in the living room, you know, at

422
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,119
Speaker 2: like a listenable level, and like jam and see what

423
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 2: we got. Whenever we do those sessions, it's fun to

424
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,679
Speaker 2: just jam out of nothing. But I always show up

425
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,359
Speaker 2: with ideas like I got this cool chorus, like let's

426
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 2: make a song.

427
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 1: You know. Will you ever sit there you're all in

428
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: the living room and you say, let's go through the notes.

429
00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 1: App this sounds good?

430
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,199
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Like what about this idea? Hold on?

431
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 3: Well, all listen to it and be're like okay, and

432
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 3: then like jam it on the piano.

433
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 1: Well, recently you've done a certain number of collaborations.

434
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:11,360
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

435
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 1: Collaboration and working alone is very different. What are your

436
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:16,680
Speaker 1: feelings there?

437
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 2: I I feel like I've grown into it more and

438
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,120
Speaker 2: more loving it, embracing it.

439
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 3: I think after falling.

440
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 2: And the guy that I started the band with, he

441
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 2: left like in the in the tour on our first album,

442
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:36,439
Speaker 2: and that was a good thing for us.

443
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 3: It was the only way.

444
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,400
Speaker 2: But it there was I just felt that I had

445
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 2: so much to prove and I was excited to like

446
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 2: I was ready to prove it, but I had a

447
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 2: ton to prove because the easiest thing to say is, oh, well,

448
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,640
Speaker 2: it's not the original thing anymore, Like she can't do.

449
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 3: It by herself.

450
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 2: So I had to. I had to prove that I

451
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 2: could do it myself. So it was super important to

452
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 2: me back then to do everything myself. I didn't want

453
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 2: any help, and immediately, of course the label saying, okay,

454
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 2: we need co writers. Now, let's go and do it

455
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 2: the way everybody does it. And I was like, I

456
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 2: don't want that. I'm not just the singer upfront, I'm

457
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 2: I'm that let me do that, and you know, used

458
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 2: my band, you know, and that was it really important

459
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,239
Speaker 2: for me at the time. It was.

460
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 3: It's still important. It's still a big part of me.

461
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 2: But I at this point after our second album, which

462
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 2: I love and I'm so proud of and it was

463
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,120
Speaker 2: such a journey where I felt like I got this

464
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 2: you know kind of attitude. And then the third one

465
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 2: where you know, our self titled album was very much

466
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 2: a band album for the first time. Like that whole

467
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,520
Speaker 2: situation I described about sitting in a room and jamming together.

468
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 2: I never would have done that back in high school.

469
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 2: That wasn't what it was. We were a studio of

470
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,159
Speaker 2: bad or just a couple of kids making stuff and

471
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,879
Speaker 2: recording it as we went. We sort of had to

472
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 2: build the band to make the album, so you know,

473
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 2: at that point it was like, oh we went to

474
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 2: rock school. Nick Raskilnic sat and was like, all right, guys,

475
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 2: play me a song, no tracks, no nothing, just you guys,

476
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 2: just jam in the room. Let's hear, I don't know,

477
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 2: bring me to life. And uh, it.

478
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 3: Was so funny because we hadn't played.

479
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 2: Like in a year or year and a half, and

480
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 2: we certainly wouldn't do like no no no synth, no

481
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 2: no tracks, no nothing, okay, and we sucked. It's not terrible,

482
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 2: it was so bad and we were all just like,

483
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I don't even want to work with us,

484
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 2: and he was like, all right, all right, we got

485
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 2: some work to do, and it was such a good

486
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 2: exercise because it forced us to really like grow as

487
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 2: musicians in that setting. If you can make it sound

488
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 2: great like a garage band, then whatever else is going

489
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 2: to go on, you know, as a part of it,

490
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 2: that's great, but that's gravy, like the band is strong.

491
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 2: And to even just like be in that setting and

492
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 2: write write some songs or even pieces of songs like

493
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,199
Speaker 2: in that way was really inspiring to me at the

494
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,920
Speaker 2: time because it was it was new and that that

495
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 2: so then Bitter Truth fast forward another bunch of years,

496
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 2: because it always takes me forever. Then it was like

497
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 2: this beautiful combination of remembering the roots of being a

498
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 2: studio artist and using all the elements and the production

499
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 2: and making sauces in here in my studio and together,

500
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 2: but also being able to jam in the room and

501
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 2: write like that and have the best of both worlds

502
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 2: was really awesome and cool and inspiring. And now like

503
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 2: we're still on that, that's still where we are. But

504
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,400
Speaker 2: this music that we're making now is once again more

505
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 2: studio focused. More it's taking me back to the beginning

506
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 2: in all of the best ways and making me feel comfortable.

507
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 2: Your question was about collaboration. I don't feel like I

508
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 2: have to prove that anymore. Like I know what I

509
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 2: can do. I've proven what I can do. I'm great

510
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:48,200
Speaker 2: at what I do. But there's nothing but gain that

511
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,199
Speaker 2: can come from trying to work with other people and

512
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 2: see what they can bring to the table, you know,

513
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 2: and see what can happen when you write together. And

514
00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 2: I've had a lot of writing sessions, some about you

515
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 2: know me and.

516
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 3: Some about other people's projects over the.

517
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:07,680
Speaker 2: Last ten years, honestly, which have been so life giving

518
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 2: and such a great experience and education for me to

519
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 2: learn seeing the window in other people's process and learning

520
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 2: new things to try. You know, it can only make

521
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 2: you grow. You can always say, you know what, this

522
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 2: isn't working, and sometimes it doesn't work.

523
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,160
Speaker 3: But when you catch lightning with somebody, that's great.

524
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 2: You just I don't I have no ego about that anymore.

525
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: Okay, If you write the song yourself, it's completely uncompromised,

526
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 1: it's what you want to do. Then there's the concept,

527
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 1: which is really how most people do it. They have

528
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 1: a song, but then the band adds something. Okay, right,

529
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 1: that's one stuff. Then there's the other thing. Two people

530
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 1: are going to sit in the room or else they're

531
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 1: going to send stuff back and forth with email, right,

532
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,199
Speaker 1: and no one's going to agree one hundred percent of

533
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 1: the time.

534
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 3: That's right.

535
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: And in addition, inherently having someone else, it's not completely

536
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 1: your vision. Let me go once. I know a guy

537
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 1: in publishing forever, he's a big believer. There's all the

538
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: great slaw you know, songwriters a collaboration. I don't always

539
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:18,920
Speaker 1: agree with him. So is collaboration? Do you sometimes say wow,

540
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,719
Speaker 1: I would never have come up with that, this is

541
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: so great, or what we have is good. It was

542
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 1: give and take, or that's good. But really I like

543
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 1: what I do myself the best.

544
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 2: I think I've done everything you just describe by the

545
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 2: way and all of it recently, Like I've done every

546
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 2: style I like. I like to not be stuck to

547
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 2: one process. But it absolutely depends on who you're writing

548
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 2: with or working with whoever it is that you're inviting

549
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 2: into that very intimate space, like what's going to happen

550
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: and the arguments, you know, I want to say arguments.

551
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 2: They're usually fun arguments, But all of that push and

552
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 2: pull is either going to be something where there's trust,

553
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 2: you know, and you get to and awesome place, or

554
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 2: there's not and you don't really like what the other person's.

555
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 3: Prying at the table, and then that you know that

556
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 3: it's not working.

557
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 2: But I feel also like it is important to have

558
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 2: somebody who's the leader and who's going to at the

559
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 2: end of the day say you know what I like

560
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 2: a not be and that's what we're gonna go with.

561
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 3: We're not going to sit here and argue about it.

562
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 3: And that's me.

563
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,120
Speaker 2: So whether it's writing with the band, whether it's doing

564
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 2: something with the producer, whether it's co writer's situation, or

565
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 2: we're doing things together, I'm gonna at the end of

566
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 2: the day and make the call, you know, pretty much.

567
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 2: But at the same time, like if you're bringing in

568
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 2: people that you respect and you want them in the mix,

569
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 2: you know, and they're feeling then it's not like I'm

570
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 2: shooting stuff down that much. It's more like, oh, yeah,

571
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 2: except go over here and then we do this and

572
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 2: everybody's loving it.

573
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: Okay, let's be No. You've had a couple of big

574
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 1: successes recently with collaboration. How did these come about and

575
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: how did you actually do it?

576
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 3: They're all different. Where do you want to start?

577
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 1: I'll leave it to you.

578
00:28:58,720 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 3: You want me to pick something?

579
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, wait, when's this going to come out?

580
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 1: Whenever you want?

581
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, i'm a I have a really awesome collab

582
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 2: coming out in just a few days.

583
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 1: It's not going to come out before a few days,

584
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 1: so okay.

585
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 2: So uh this, I'll just start with my most recent one.

586
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 2: Courtney La Plant and Poppy and me have this three

587
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 2: way cool collab. And it's also a clab with Jordan Fish.

588
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 2: I feel like it really came from him. It came

589
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 2: from him and Poppy, and it started because Jordan and

590
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 2: I have been working together quite a bit. We worked

591
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 2: on the Halsey song I did earlier this year together. Uh.

592
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 2: We met a few years ago when he was a

593
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 2: premier The Horizon, and now we've been working on songs for

594
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 2: our album together, which has been incredible. He's like a

595
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 2: missing piece in my life.

596
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 3: Anyway. He called me a round I don't know Christmas

597
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 3: time and was like, hey, I have this idea.

598
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 2: Check it out.

599
00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 3: Like I was just thinking, wouldn't be so awesome? On'm

600
00:29:59,520 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 3: I working with?

601
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: We're talking about a colah blah blah, and he just

602
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 2: it was just an idea of of the three of

603
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 2: us on a track. It's kind of where that whole

604
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 2: thing started. And I was like, I mean that would

605
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 2: be amazing. We gotta, you know, think of a song.

606
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 2: And I think he's kind of the master of just

607
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 2: like whipping stuff up really quick that sounds hypey and good,

608
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 2: but it's fast, just on his laptop and coming up

609
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: with he's just a good songwriter, so and making it

610
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 2: sound saucy enough in the bedeo that you can imagine,

611
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 2: you can imagine what it's going to be. And he

612
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 2: sent a song starter idea. Oh my god, the weirdest thing.

613
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 2: So this is a first. So he sent me this

614
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 2: the beginning of the song. It's called the end of

615
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 2: You Now, End of You. So it starts with this

616
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 2: really cool ambient stuff and a vocal and the idea

617
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 2: is it would be my voice, and he he, I

618
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 2: don't know what the app is. Apparently there's a bunch

619
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 2: of them, but you can just like type Amy Lee

620
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 2: like the sound of my voice.

621
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 3: And he sung it.

622
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 2: He like sung a melody you know, no no, no, no, no,

623
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 2: no whatever, but like type my name in. So it

624
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 2: sounded kind of like me, and it was wild, like

625
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 2: because I was laughing. I was like, how did you

626
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 2: do that?

627
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 3: What did you do? And he was like, that's my voice.

628
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 3: I just put it through. And I was like, that's

629
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 3: amazing because it's convincing.

630
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 2: I guess it's made up of pieces of things that

631
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 2: I've done and I don't know how it worked, but anyway,

632
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 2: he just like could show me that vibe and they

633
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 2: had that start going. That was a really good start already,

634
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 2: and I was like, I love it.

635
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 3: Let's do this.

636
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 2: So when I get home and I've got my pro tools,

637
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 2: I'm like, send me you know, the instrumental and you know,

638
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 2: by itself and if I need anything else whatever, and

639
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 2: I just play and come up with ideas and cut

640
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 2: and paste and whatever, and we send back and forth

641
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 2: a bit.

642
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 3: We were kind of the same.

643
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 2: And then later on after we had a solid start going,

644
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 2: he and Poppy came over to my house that came

645
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 2: in this room and.

646
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 3: We just sat here.

647
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 2: It was it was interesting because the beginning was for

648
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 2: me to sing, and it was like mostly they're already

649
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 2: like the first verse and the start of the chorus,

650
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 2: and then it's like okay, like let's wrap up this

651
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 2: chorus and we figured that out and I was like, Okay,

652
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 2: now let's work on the second verse. This will be

653
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 2: Poppies verse. And it was fun because it was like

654
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 2: she wrote like a lot of the lyrics that I'm singing,

655
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 2: and I wrote a lot of a lot of the

656
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 2: lyrics that she is saying.

657
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 3: And then it's like, okay, we need a bridge. Let's

658
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 3: bring Courtney and let's do this whole thing.

659
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 2: And Courtney's band got involved a little bit, and it

660
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 2: was just sort of this everybody in the pool, very

661
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 2: collaborative but very remote process. And those can work like

662
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 2: if everybody's savvy, you know, and everybody can kind of

663
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:26,959
Speaker 2: throw their shit in the computer and throw it in

664
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 2: for demo land until we do it for real or whatever.

665
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 3: I think that works great.

666
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 2: So we made this really killer song and it really

667
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 2: just came out of just a concept and then make

668
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 2: it come true with whatever tools available wherever we were,

669
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 2: like throwing down vocals from around the world.

670
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 1: There you go, so you you don't do it Nashville's style,

671
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: where we're meeting at ten in the morning, we're all

672
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 1: shit in the room. By one pm, we're going to

673
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 1: have a song.

674
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 2: I cannot do that. That is not in my DNA.

675
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 3: I can.

676
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 2: I have put myself in situauation similar to that to

677
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 2: write for other people, and they have been productive. But

678
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 2: the part that you said where it's like we're gonna

679
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 2: be done in a couple, there's no way I have

680
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 2: to walk into a writing situation, whatever it is, with this,

681
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 2: with my band or with somebody else, thinking it's okay

682
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 2: if nothing happens, like it's okay.

683
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 3: If you go home tonight and you don't.

684
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 2: Have a song, like, don't feel like a failure, because

685
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 2: I think you have to just try things. You just

686
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 2: have to go down the road and don't shoot everything

687
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 2: down that comes into your head, allow it to live

688
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 2: for a minute before you decide, ah, this is garbage,

689
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 2: let's start over. So sometimes you go down a lot

690
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 2: of roads that could have been cool but didn't work

691
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 2: out like you wanted, and you just got to just

692
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 2: keep playing until it happens. And I think opening your

693
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 2: heart is the greatest ingredient. Just have an open heart,

694
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 2: don't have worry or a schedule so much like, oh

695
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 2: I can't do this, Just relax, open your mind, think

696
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 2: about something else. If you don't feel like like, go

697
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 2: take a walk, go do something else. Come back to

698
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 2: it later when it's night and you're feeling moody, like,

699
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 2: just allow the spirit to move you, because I feel

700
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,760
Speaker 2: like that ingredient is the most essential ingredient and it's

701
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:17,760
Speaker 2: it really is an ingredient that's beyond my control, which

702
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 2: makes it magic. The magic comes from something beyond me

703
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 2: saying this is what I want to write. That's not

704
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 2: really how it is. It's not math. It has to

705
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 2: sort of come from something.

706
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 1: Okay, before we get back to the magic. Does it

707
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 1: make any difference if you're collaborating in person as opposed

708
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 1: to online sending things back and forth.

709
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,280
Speaker 3: There's something pretty cool about being in person.

710
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 2: I will say I again, I've had cool success with

711
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 2: remote after life was a totally remote thing. Alex Seber

712
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 2: and I were apart, like laying stuff down and writing ideas.

713
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 2: But when you can be together in the moment and

714
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 2: somebody says how about this, you know, and you're like, ooh,

715
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 2: do that, but go up not down, and then I'm

716
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 2: gonna jump in. It's just different when you have the

717
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 2: instant back and forth because you can try it four

718
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 2: ways before agreeing on which way. You're going to go

719
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 2: with that particular turnaround before going to the next section,

720
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Yeah, there is definitely something

721
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 2: special about being in the room.

722
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: Okay, the magic this is I feel you can separate

723
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 1: the artists from everybody else. There are a few people

724
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: going back to ancient history Steely Dan Eagles, who build

725
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:40,760
Speaker 1: things step by step. But you know when you create

726
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 1: an eleven, but you can't create an eleven every day.

727
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 2: No okay.

728
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 1: So as you say, you don't have to have an

729
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 1: album today, but your audience wants an album. If you

730
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 1: were waiting to put out an album with elevens, that

731
00:35:57,239 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: might be eleven years right, So how do you deal

732
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 1: with As I say, it comes rarely, we go this

733
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,719
Speaker 1: is unbelievable, and as you say, you channel it. It

734
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 1: just comes from some place you don't know, and you say,

735
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,239
Speaker 1: I gotta be buy a keyboard right away, I gotta

736
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,320
Speaker 1: lay it down. It's fah okay. How about the rest

737
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:17,960
Speaker 1: of the stuff.

738
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 2: You know, we talked about time in between. Like my

739
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 2: standard that I've always held myself like two is it

740
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 2: has to be at least as good as falling in

741
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 2: my head to me, Like whether or not anybody else

742
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 2: thinks so. So I've never allowed time to pressure me

743
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,919
Speaker 2: into putting it out until I really truly did feel

744
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:47,360
Speaker 2: like there were all elevens for me. And sometimes that

745
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 2: takes five years. So I have to live with it forever.

746
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 2: I love all of our music that we put out.

747
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 2: I don't have to sit back and go, oh, except

748
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:56,399
Speaker 2: that one.

749
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 1: But you really, you're typical. You don't listen to your

750
00:36:58,680 --> 00:36:59,280
Speaker 1: old records.

751
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 2: To you, I mean, I don't really have a choice

752
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:06,240
Speaker 2: because I mean, well, we're playing them live, and that's different.

753
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 3: We have a lot of stun.

754
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 1: That's different. You're playing it live. It's different from dropping

755
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 1: the needles, so to speak, on an old rerec.

756
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,359
Speaker 2: I don't usually drop, but once in a whiles were like, oh, yeah,

757
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 2: I remember that thing. I'm gonna listen to that right now.

758
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 2: Not usually because I've listened to it. I have listened

759
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 2: to it like thousands of times as we were making it.

760
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:24,840
Speaker 2: I'm a total perfectionist in the recording process.

761
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 1: Okay, but let's say, for whatever reason, you listen five

762
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 1: to ten years later, do you WinCE and say, oh,

763
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:33,839
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have done that, or I wish i'd put

764
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 1: this in whatever I mean not yes.

765
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, the answer is yes, But I mean mostly

766
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 2: I'm not going, oh my god, I hate it so

767
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,920
Speaker 2: much like now and any of that stuff. Really it's

768
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 2: from the first one. It's it's only then because I

769
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 2: can really hear.

770
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 3: The child.

771
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 2: I can hear me as a little kid. I can

772
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 2: hear me just figuring stuff out and being nineteen and

773
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 2: not really knowing necessarily how that structure is supposed to work,

774
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 2: but just doing something close, you know, I don't know.

775
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 2: I hear lyrics sometimes too, when you're younger, you're like,

776
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 2: oh God, you were young.

777
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 1: How do you end up working with Halsey?

778
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 2: That one was out of nowhere. I have to back

779
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 2: it up to Fight Like a Girl because that's how

780
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 2: it started. So this movie Ballerina where those that song

781
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,919
Speaker 2: and fight like a Girl uh with KFLA were both

782
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 2: for this movie Ballerina from the John Wick world. So Tyler,

783
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 2: Tyler Bates, he's awesome.

784
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 3: Do you know who that is?

785
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 2: He's a he's a well he's the score composer for

786
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 2: all the John Wicks, but also like Sucker Punch and

787
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 2: just a whole bunch of stuff, and he's just a

788
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 2: very cool, cool music I don't know how I'm not

789
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 2: describing it well. He's awesome.

790
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:50,760
Speaker 3: Anyway.

791
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: We've been friends for a long time and always would

792
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 2: like talked about we would like to work together, but

793
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 2: hadn't had a reason or found the opportunity, and just

794
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,880
Speaker 2: one of those things. So he called me around in December,

795
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 2: also same time, everything just at once. This time. It

796
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 2: was just like so many things kind of came at

797
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 2: me at the same time, and I just was just yes,

798
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 2: just saying yes, working really hard, saying yes to all

799
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,840
Speaker 2: the good stuff. Tyler was like, Hey, I think I

800
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 2: found our thing, you know, working on this thing for Lionsgate.

801
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 2: It's about a chick kicking ass and Lionsgate actually mentioned you,

802
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:24,760
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my god, they'd be perfect.

803
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 2: And I actually know her so and I was like okay.

804
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:29,799
Speaker 2: So we started working on a song that he came

805
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 2: up with the start for remotely and sent to me,

806
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 2: and I came up with the you know, melody stuff

807
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:38,799
Speaker 2: over here, and Halsey was in the conversation that I'd

808
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:41,320
Speaker 2: heard like Lionsgate talking about to you, like oh, wouldn't

809
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:42,839
Speaker 2: it be cool? And I was like, Yeah, that would

810
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 2: be cool. So it was just one of those things

811
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 2: where I tried to reach out to her, but I

812
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,799
Speaker 2: had I don't know her or I didn't so I

813
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 2: hadn't gotten a hold of her and just sort of

814
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:56,320
Speaker 2: moved on. And then halfway down the road on that song,

815
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 2: she reached out to me and she was like, Hey,

816
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 2: I have a song idea like that we should do,

817
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 2: like for this movie. And I was like, well, I'm

818
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 2: already working on one, you know, please don't take my job.

819
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 2: But she was like well whatever, She's like, I honestly,

820
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 2: I'd just like to work with you, whether it's for

821
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 2: the movie or not, Like I think it'd just be

822
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,320
Speaker 2: really cool to do something together. And here's the start,

823
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 2: and she had the verse the first person chorus like

824
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 2: demoed of the Hand that Feeds and I thought it

825
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 2: was so good, Like right away, I was like, well,

826
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 2: this is a hit song, okay, And I was like

827
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 2: I'd love to I'd love to finish this with you

828
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 2: and sing this with you. So that was it was

829
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 2: just her coming out of nowhere. And I've, you know,

830
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,280
Speaker 2: of course, behind this. He's like, hey, we can.

831
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 3: Have two right? Can we have two songs like please?

832
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 2: And they were like yeah, we'd love to have two twos.

833
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 3: Even better, and it was just this cool thing.

834
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 2: So now at the end of the movie, there's two

835
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 2: in a row that I got to be a part of,

836
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 2: two different really cool collaborations. And I think it just

837
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,839
Speaker 2: comes from artists. And Kaflay is me on the other

838
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 2: end of that, reaching out to her because we're, you know,

839
00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 2: working on this song and I love her. I'm a

840
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 2: big fan, and she's in my head. She's in my

841
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 2: heart because I listened to her and I heard her

842
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 2: voice when we started writing the Bridge. I was like, Oh,

843
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 2: wouldn't that be cool? So I just found a number

844
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: and called her and that ended up being an incredible thing.

845
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:16,839
Speaker 2: So I think like we all get inspired by each other,

846
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 2: you know, and when you have your heart open and

847
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 2: have that maybe a little bit of a magical, I

848
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 2: don't know, spunk, like you can think, hey, anything's possible.

849
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 2: Why not? Why wouldn't Why why should I just call?

850
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 2: Why should I just try? And then you do, and

851
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 2: you know, so much of the time it's been more

852
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 2: than I would have guessed. Like ten years ago, people

853
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 2: want to work together, like they're like, yeah, hell yeah,

854
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 2: I'd love to make something with you.

855
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 1: So okay, you talk about not knowing Halsey, are you

856
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,760
Speaker 1: the type of person who's just in your own vertical?

857
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: You've certainly been on the road with people, but generally speaking,

858
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 1: do you tend to know and stay in contact with

859
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:59,240
Speaker 1: other The musicians are really in your own world. Unless

860
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,479
Speaker 1: it's business, you don't know them.

861
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:05,399
Speaker 2: I make connections with people and stay in touch with them,

862
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 2: like you meet. All kinds of you have, all kinds

863
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 2: of you know, fun friends, acquaintances. On tour, we love

864
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 2: to hang out with bands that we play with. We

865
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 2: do we hang out backstage. We're not the people that

866
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:18,319
Speaker 2: stay by ourselves. We're the people coming around. Like I

867
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 2: My rider on tour is like three bottles of wine,

868
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 2: a cheese plate, and a veggie tray. And after the show,

869
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 2: everybody gets cleaned up and does their thing. I grab

870
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 2: all that stuff and I walk to wherever I hear

871
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:33,919
Speaker 2: somebody's playing music.

872
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 3: It's usually the other dress room of.

873
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 2: The band, the guy's room, and it's Will, our drummer.

874
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:40,959
Speaker 3: We call it club.

875
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:46,279
Speaker 2: Willis playing whatever eighties metal to today future rock.

876
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 3: And I'm like, all right, and I'm bringing this stuff.

877
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 2: And we hang out and we leave the door open,

878
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,879
Speaker 2: and I want I want to have an experience where

879
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 2: I get to know whoever we're playing with. I care

880
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 2: about the bands that if we're headlining, like the bands

881
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,399
Speaker 2: that we choose to come out with us, I really

882
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 2: put thought into that. That's my opportunity to like curate,

883
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 2: to show something great, you know, to our fans that

884
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 2: maybe they haven't heard before that is, you know, up

885
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 2: and coming, or something that maybe they missed that I

886
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 2: love that I want to uplift or somebody that is

887
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 2: inspiring to me because I'm hearing that before our show too.

888
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 2: I want it to be something great. I want to

889
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 2: give them a great show from start to finish. So

890
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 2: we generally like hang out with people that we like

891
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 2: with music.

892
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 1: That okay, that's on the road. When you're at home,

893
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: are you emailing these people or it's til you go

894
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 1: back on the road and you see them again at home.

895
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 2: I have people that are that are close to my

896
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 2: heart that I have stayed close with.

897
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,840
Speaker 3: Emma Emma are bass player.

898
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 2: Now we've been like that for many years before she

899
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 2: entered this band. We met on the road in seven

900
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 2: when she was playing with Sick Puppies and we played

901
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 2: together on a tour and we just clicked like, especially

902
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 2: when it's it's especially women in my life.

903
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 3: We're kind of you know, we're still the rarer breed

904
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 3: on the road.

905
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:04,879
Speaker 2: And when you meet in the heavy world and when

906
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 2: you meet somebody in like heavy rock music, that's we

907
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,879
Speaker 2: end up having a lot in common. Nine times out

908
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 2: of ten just because of the experience. It's just different.

909
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,359
Speaker 1: Okay, you've been doing this for a couple of decades now, yeah,

910
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 1: but when you first go on the road, if you're

911
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 1: a guy. Now we live in the cell phone camera error, Jeff.

912
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 1: They say they want to you know, sex, drugs in

913
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 1: rock and roll, and there are a bunch of guys.

914
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 1: I know, some people legendary people never left the hotel room,

915
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 1: didn't drink, didn't drug whatever. But generally speaking, people like

916
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 1: to have a good time. What's it like being the woman?

917
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,720
Speaker 1: Do you feel forced to be one of the guys?

918
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: Do you feel the other what's it like? Certainly when

919
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:49,240
Speaker 1: you started out.

920
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:51,839
Speaker 2: That's different. I was gonna say, I don't feel any

921
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,400
Speaker 2: of that. I feel happy and surrounded by people that

922
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 2: I trust. But in the beginning, no, absolutely not. In

923
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 2: the beginning it was dangerous. There is a lot more

924
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 2: situations where you kind of need it. Be smart and

925
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 2: be aware and remove yourself from the situation. Sometimes that's

926
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:13,240
Speaker 2: just being young and being female. And I we didn't

927
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,760
Speaker 2: start out with security either, and we learned. I learned

928
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 2: Beth and I together learned the hard way why we

929
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:25,280
Speaker 2: have to have security. And that's that's every everybody should

930
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 2: have have that.

931
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, generally speaking in the music business. To what

932
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 1: degree of you encountered sexism?

933
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean what can I say from I

934
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 2: don't know where to start. I started anywhere a high

935
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 2: degree from the industry. I think the suits, Like that

936
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 2: was the first place that I started to recognize it.

937
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,400
Speaker 2: For that just in the idea of how to market

938
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 2: me and why it was a challenge and what I

939
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 2: needed to change, like all all those all those thoughts

940
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 2: were so wild to me. It's like I never thought

941
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 2: of any of this. This is rock and roll. I'm

942
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 2: not trying to go up there and be a pop star, Like,

943
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 2: why are we talking about this? So that was the

944
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 2: first element. But I think also I definitely was in

945
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 2: a situation where I was young and surrounded by not

946
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 2: people that necessarily like were thinking at all about me

947
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 2: or what was good for me. I was surrounded by

948
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,719
Speaker 2: people that started seeing the opportunity and we're thinking a

949
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 2: lot about what was best for themselves. So you know

950
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 2: where that plays into sexism, I guess is the way

951
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:45,839
Speaker 2: that they treat you to keep you down and keep

952
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:49,359
Speaker 2: you from thinking that you have too much power. And

953
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 2: that got in my head real hard in the beginning.

954
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,200
Speaker 2: It was something to overcome.

955
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 1: So when you experience sexism to what degree was ignorance

956
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 1: of your viewpoint and what deg we was sort of

957
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,400
Speaker 1: bullying and keeping you under their thumb.

958
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 2: I felt the under the thumb part a lot, a lot.

959
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 2: It's like, I don't know, when you're just naive and

960
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 2: doing everything you can't. It was hard for me for

961
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 2: a while to see the difference. And it is a

962
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 2: blurred line between that I was a woman, that I

963
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 2: was a girl, and that I was young, like because

964
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:37,839
Speaker 2: people just treat you like you're stupid and you don't

965
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 2: know any better, and you okay, all right, yeah right,

966
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 2: Well let me explain to you how this works. Here's

967
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 2: what you're gonna do, this is what everybody does, and

968
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 2: you've never done this before, so you have to trust me.

969
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,799
Speaker 2: So here's what's going on. Like that kind of attitude

970
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,720
Speaker 2: is hard when you're brand new and you are supposed

971
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 2: to okay, like I just signed a contract, I'm supposed

972
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 2: to whatever.

973
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 3: But it's not.

974
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to put it all on the label

975
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 2: because there was a much bigger, darker thing that I right,

976
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 2: I really try not to let be my story. There

977
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 2: was a big part of my story in the early days.

978
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 2: It was tough within the band in the early days.

979
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 1: Okay, but the member who is no longer in the band,

980
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 1: you had a lot of history just you and him

981
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:23,319
Speaker 1: making music before, right, Yeah, yes, So what was that

982
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 1: dark force there from the beginning? And it just became

983
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 1: either bigger or you recognized it or did something change.

984
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 3: With success, it definitely grew.

985
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:39,319
Speaker 2: But yeah, success definitely makes everything more complicated.

986
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 1: Okay, But this is a classic rock and roll story.

987
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 1: There is a separation between the original members, and one

988
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 1: member continues to have success and the other member does not. Right,

989
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: you know, do you think about it? Is the other

990
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 1: person contact you and is bitter? Does the other person

991
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:06,720
Speaker 1: disappear completely? Is it something you don't even think about?

992
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 2: It's it's honestly, it's been it has been that long

993
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 2: where I do feel like I'm in a place where

994
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 2: that's not motivating anything that I do. Like I definitely,

995
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 2: you know, felt like a big reaction to the fallout

996
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 2: between us, like I.

997
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 3: Needed to react.

998
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 2: I needed to react in the music, you know, I

999
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:27,560
Speaker 2: needed to react with the way that I was making

1000
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 2: the music. And I think the harder part was just

1001
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,920
Speaker 2: you know, the hurt inside me, Like I hated it.

1002
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 2: I didn't want to feel hurt. I didn't want to

1003
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 2: feel anything like about him about that. I wanted to

1004
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 2: just have my own story that wasn't like, I don't know,

1005
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 2: messed with, but it is what it is. Like you

1006
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 2: come from where you come from, and the things that

1007
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 2: we overcome, I really do. I'm positive make us stronger.

1008
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:57,840
Speaker 2: So to me, like the storyline like for me, like

1009
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:02,319
Speaker 2: moving forward really came. It was about overcoming it for

1010
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 2: a good while, and then there was then life became

1011
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 2: more complicated and there's more to the story, and there's

1012
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:08,759
Speaker 2: so many other people and gosh, that stuff was so

1013
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:11,440
Speaker 2: long ago. It's part of what shapes you and and

1014
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,840
Speaker 2: and makes you see people a certain way. But also

1015
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 2: it's something that I'm really at a place at this

1016
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 2: point in my life that I'm ready to like really

1017
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:26,680
Speaker 2: let go of and and see the beauty of what

1018
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 2: we had as well. It's taken the longest for me

1019
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:32,839
Speaker 2: to really look at the early music and and hear

1020
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 2: it and not always have like a pang of ouch

1021
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 2: about something like I'm I'm really at a place now

1022
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 2: where I'm I I remember that love, I remember the

1023
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:46,520
Speaker 2: love in the music of all of that, and you know,

1024
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 2: see what what was special about that that had to

1025
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 2: that had to happen like that, And I am I'm

1026
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 2: grateful for a lot, you know. But yeah, it was

1027
00:50:55,840 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 2: quite tumultuous behind the scenes.

1028
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 1: Okay, do I have it right? There's history where you

1029
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 1: went to church camp and stuff like that.

1030
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 2: We met at church, Yeah, we did when I was

1031
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 2: like thirteen.

1032
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:21,240
Speaker 1: Okay, So what's your viewpoint on religion? Now?

1033
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 2: Oh it's fucking complicated. How do you sum up your

1034
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:31,879
Speaker 2: viewpoint on religion? I am a spiritual person with an

1035
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 2: open mind on a lot of things, and I don't know.

1036
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 2: It's funny, like I spent a long time really defensive

1037
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 2: about this conversation as well in the early days, because

1038
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 2: it was just this thing that was like penned on

1039
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 2: us about religion. And you're a Christian band or we

1040
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 2: really weren't, but we met at church. There's a lot

1041
00:51:55,960 --> 00:52:00,439
Speaker 2: of music at church, and yeah, like I guess world

1042
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 2: of it was like cringey to me because you get

1043
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:04,439
Speaker 2: older and you're like, oh my god, Like it wasn't

1044
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 2: that quit it but spirituality. If I wasn't a spiritual

1045
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 2: person who went deep to make our songs, it wouldn't

1046
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 2: sound like they do. Like I'm definitely trying to channel

1047
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:17,760
Speaker 2: always like something that's bigger than myself. I do believe

1048
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,560
Speaker 2: there's absolutely more than just this.

1049
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:25,799
Speaker 1: Okay, jumping around a little bit. How'd you end up

1050
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 1: working on the rehearsal? Uh?

1051
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:30,920
Speaker 3: That is fun? I don't know, they asked me.

1052
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 2: I got I got an email that was describing kind

1053
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 2: of what the rehearsal was, which I didn't know the

1054
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 2: show personally, like I hadn't seen it before, and the

1055
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:45,879
Speaker 2: description like of what it was was like fascinating because

1056
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,400
Speaker 2: I don't even know how you how how I was

1057
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:49,920
Speaker 2: trying to explain what it was to my parents and

1058
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. I was like, it's like you

1059
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 2: know what, You're just gonna have to watch it. Yeah,

1060
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 2: at the beginning, I think it is just a really incredible,

1061
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 2: the coolest license we've ever had. I feel like it's

1062
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:08,759
Speaker 2: part of the story, you know, in an unusual way. Yeah.

1063
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 2: I was literally just like asked for a license request

1064
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 2: that was really really wild. And then months later they

1065
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 2: were like, oh, yeah, hey, that show is going to

1066
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:18,880
Speaker 2: come out that you know you approved the license for,

1067
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 2: and there's a journalist is asking to speak to you,

1068
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,440
Speaker 2: like the next day after you watch it, And I

1069
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 2: was like really, And I was like, Okay, I hope

1070
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 2: this is good. Uh yeah, screaming, crying, throwing up. I

1071
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:35,879
Speaker 2: love it so much. I thought it was so good.

1072
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 2: And I watched a bunch more like I watched that

1073
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 2: whole season and I mean came to tears a little

1074
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 2: bit in there.

1075
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:45,919
Speaker 1: You've had some success in this world, Does that lead

1076
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:47,120
Speaker 1: to more opportunity?

1077
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course always.

1078
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 1: I'm just you know, well, I mean.

1079
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 2: You mean just for working with people, and yeah.

1080
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 1: You would a couple of things. Now since these are

1081
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:05,279
Speaker 1: successful productions, other people say, I'm a Netflix show, want

1082
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 1: you to write a song?

1083
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:08,799
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1084
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:12,319
Speaker 2: That's honestly, that was what I was dreaming of twenty

1085
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:15,240
Speaker 2: years ago, even fifteen years ago. I was just wishing,

1086
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:20,200
Speaker 2: like to get into that world when I started making music,

1087
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,239
Speaker 2: Like when I started really getting into music when I

1088
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:26,319
Speaker 2: was my son's age. Actually, I saw the movie Am

1089
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 2: Dais and I was obsessed with Mozart and his genius

1090
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 2: and I wanted to be that whatever that is, and

1091
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:35,880
Speaker 2: I wanted to be a composer on a piano player,

1092
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:40,439
Speaker 2: and I got I got piano lessons like the next year.

1093
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 3: It was a gift from my grandparents. It was a

1094
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:42,439
Speaker 3: big deal.

1095
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 2: And it's funny because like my siblings, like we all

1096
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 2: took piano lessons. I'm the oldest. But it was different

1097
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 2: for all of them than it was for me because

1098
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,359
Speaker 2: I begged for it. I cried for it. I wanted

1099
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 2: it so bad and it wasn't a given. It was like, please,

1100
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:01,319
Speaker 2: how do we make it work? I really I need this.

1101
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 2: I know this is what I want to do with

1102
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 2: my life kind of thing. When I was like ten

1103
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:09,560
Speaker 2: and having you know, okay, you got them, you better

1104
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,920
Speaker 2: take this seriously. I really did, like I loved it.

1105
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:15,359
Speaker 2: And then you know, my parents are like, oh my gosh,

1106
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 2: this is great. Everybody's going to take piano and we're

1107
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 2: all musically inclined. We all played piano, wheel sing for

1108
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 2: everybody else was like work kind of a little bit more.

1109
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:26,239
Speaker 2: Not that I didn't treat you know, some of the

1110
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 2: assignments that way and most exhausting, but it's different when

1111
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 2: you like are dying to do it, you know.

1112
00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:38,239
Speaker 1: Okay, I took piano lessons. Everybody took piano lessons. In

1113
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:43,320
Speaker 1: my family, we didn't want to practice. So you're taking

1114
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 1: piano lessons, are you practicing?

1115
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,760
Speaker 2: I started off taking that very seriously and being excited

1116
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:51,440
Speaker 2: about practice, And as I got older and got into

1117
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 2: high school, I would neglect practice, but I could kind

1118
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:57,920
Speaker 2: of get away with it because I have a good

1119
00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:00,160
Speaker 2: year and I could hear what it was supposed to

1120
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:02,400
Speaker 2: be and figure it out without really doing all the work.

1121
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:05,400
Speaker 2: So I would sort of cheat, which was bad. And

1122
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:07,800
Speaker 2: my teacher was an amazing piano player at concert pianist,

1123
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 2: and she could tell, so I kind of get in trouble.

1124
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 2: She'd be like, yeah, you're doing that right, but that's

1125
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,160
Speaker 2: not what it says. I'm like, what it's like, Yeah,

1126
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 2: that's what it sounds like when that one guy did it.

1127
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:16,439
Speaker 2: I know what you're doing.

1128
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, at this lead day, can you still read?

1129
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:26,160
Speaker 2: I can? But I mean I'm out of practice real bad.

1130
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:29,040
Speaker 2: I've got cheat music in there, songs that I like,

1131
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I'm going to learn, like last Christmas,

1132
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 2: I'm going to learn this song, and I absolutely have

1133
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:38,280
Speaker 2: not finished that song. So it's hard, you know, you start,

1134
00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:40,439
Speaker 2: you get to where like I can just play now,

1135
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:42,960
Speaker 2: like I can hear something in my head and make

1136
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,839
Speaker 2: it come true in a minute.

1137
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 3: Once you have.

1138
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 2: That, it's hard to just sit there and force yourself

1139
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 2: to like read in another language.

1140
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 3: It takes discipline.

1141
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,480
Speaker 1: Okay, you see on the day as you're inspired to

1142
00:56:55,480 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 1: take piano lessons, are you listening to music at that point?

1143
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 1: Is there music in the home?

1144
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:07,920
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, my dad. My dad's almost plays everything, but

1145
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 2: was a DJ and program director all growing up, So

1146
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 2: I grew up around the radio station and a lot

1147
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:17,400
Speaker 2: of he worked at all different formats, but kind of

1148
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 2: like classics, oldies, that sort of thing was a lot

1149
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 2: of my growing up, the sort of music that he

1150
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 2: was knew about and was playing on the air and

1151
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:29,240
Speaker 2: was the guy about. So I definitely just got a basic,

1152
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:34,360
Speaker 2: like especially rock like music education from Neil Young the

1153
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:38,320
Speaker 2: Beatles to honestly like four Tops and Temptations and you

1154
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 2: know Stevie Wonder and Marvin get just all kinds of

1155
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 2: music in the house. So that's the kind of music

1156
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 2: that I was exposed to first, just like great classic music,

1157
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:53,560
Speaker 2: but then the dark drama of like Mosa that was

1158
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 2: what was different for me when I hit that age.

1159
00:57:55,640 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 3: Where you're just starting to have all those.

1160
00:57:56,880 --> 00:58:01,280
Speaker 2: Like feelings and emotions and then this dramatic like classical

1161
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 2: music hit me in a way that was like, oh,

1162
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 2: this is what this is me, this is deep, you know.

1163
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:10,080
Speaker 1: So then what we I mean, Mozart's not new, So

1164
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:13,280
Speaker 1: what new recordings or you know, contemporary recordings. Did you

1165
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:14,520
Speaker 1: then start to listen.

1166
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 2: To It's it's it's all over the place. It's so

1167
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:22,600
Speaker 2: mixed up together because it was like classical hit And

1168
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 2: then I start what I really got into wasn't listening

1169
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 2: to old classical music as much as it was film scores.

1170
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 2: I was really really into the the emotions of film.

1171
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:33,800
Speaker 2: So I'm trying to think of some of the first

1172
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 2: movies that I saw that was like, oh my god,

1173
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:37,040
Speaker 2: oh my god, this is a funny one. This is

1174
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 2: different because it's soundtrack. But The Bodyguard was like the

1175
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:41,640
Speaker 2: first R rated movie I got to see. If you

1176
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 2: get to see The Bodyguard because you love music, and

1177
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 2: that was big and inspiring. But like I would listen

1178
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:51,720
Speaker 2: to film scores like like the Batman score, like the

1179
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 2: Danny Elfman Batman score, or like like the Lion King,

1180
00:58:56,440 --> 00:59:00,720
Speaker 2: like the cartoon, like just music in general. I don't know.

1181
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:02,680
Speaker 3: I was kind of a nerd to listen to weird music.

1182
00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:05,360
Speaker 2: But also at the same time, it was like grunge

1183
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,360
Speaker 2: started happening a couple of years later for me, and

1184
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 2: I heard I Forget What I can't say the first song.

1185
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:15,320
Speaker 2: I like Nirvana and Soundgarden, and then Smashing Pumpkins and

1186
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:18,920
Speaker 2: Garbage and then b York. All these really interesting alternative

1187
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 2: artists really started happening, and that opened my mind even

1188
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 2: wider to like wanting it all at the same time together.

1189
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:30,480
Speaker 2: So I think that that's why the band started becoming

1190
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 2: a thing of like, oh, maybe I'm maybe I'm the singer,

1191
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 2: maybe I'm in a band.

1192
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:38,520
Speaker 1: Okay, you're talking about early nineties grunge. You're going on

1193
00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 1: tour in Australia with Metallica. That's a couple of steps

1194
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 1: beyond grunge.

1195
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 2: Mm hm. I liked Metallica then, too, Well, that's you know,

1196
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:52,200
Speaker 2: that's a whole Yeah, ruled there without mentioning every band

1197
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 2: in that world.

1198
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:53,640
Speaker 3: That's so true.

1199
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 1: Is that music say, oh yeah, I want to listen

1200
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 1: to that music at the time.

1201
00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:02,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, Metallica was probably, I want to say,

1202
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 2: the first like heavy band that I that I was

1203
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 2: really into. But my heart is more that sound garden world.

1204
01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 2: That's dark and heavy to me big time. I mean,

1205
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:14,880
Speaker 2: I think that there's different ways to look at like

1206
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:18,680
Speaker 2: what's metal or what's heavy, and for me that there

1207
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:22,919
Speaker 2: was a big crossover in the darkness of the alternative

1208
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 2: scene in the nineties, like the Hardsheet Box is super dark.

1209
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 2: I don't know, there's there's a lot of music from

1210
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 2: back then that I feel like the whole the time

1211
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:37,440
Speaker 2: was dark somehow musically and long, like long journeys through places.

1212
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:40,440
Speaker 2: But for some reason that really resonated with me.

1213
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:45,400
Speaker 1: Okay, you're talking about the darkness in music. Is that

1214
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:50,520
Speaker 1: an element of your life today? Not the music, the darkness.

1215
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:53,200
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I think that's part that's a part

1216
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 2: of the world.

1217
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, wait wait wait, we can talk about politics.

1218
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:02,720
Speaker 1: One might be disillusion with politics, well, might be disillusion

1219
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:07,480
Speaker 1: with their own social situation, their own business situation. Then

1220
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:10,360
Speaker 1: there are other people you talk about who are introverted,

1221
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:14,840
Speaker 1: who are also introspective, and they're in touch. I can't

1222
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:17,680
Speaker 1: believe I'm verbalizing it this way. They're in touch with

1223
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:20,920
Speaker 1: the darkness. Does that start to resonate with you and go, No,

1224
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 1: that doesn't fit.

1225
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:27,160
Speaker 2: No, it does, of course it does. I've lost big

1226
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,959
Speaker 2: in my life. I've lost people that are very close

1227
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 2: to me that I love. I lost my little sister

1228
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:37,280
Speaker 2: and I lost my brother, and I think that that happening.

1229
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:40,120
Speaker 2: You know, I was six years old and my sister

1230
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:45,240
Speaker 2: passed away. That touched me in a way that big

1231
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:48,640
Speaker 2: time shaped the way that my mind works and the

1232
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:52,880
Speaker 2: way that I look in, you know, look in and

1233
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:53,520
Speaker 2: look out.

1234
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 1: That happens these tragedies. How do you metabolize that and

1235
01:01:58,160 --> 01:01:59,840
Speaker 1: get past it to the degree you ever do.

1236
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:03,920
Speaker 3: That?

1237
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 2: That is why, that is how this started. I feel

1238
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 2: like it started from needing an outlet, Like I think

1239
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 2: that's why hearing that music, you know, hearing Mozart and

1240
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:17,800
Speaker 2: hearing the drama and.

1241
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:20,320
Speaker 3: That darkness that was it was more adult.

1242
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 2: You know. There was something about that that touched me

1243
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 2: in a way that I couldn't describe and I wanted

1244
01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:28,920
Speaker 2: to tap into that. And I think before it was

1245
01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:31,240
Speaker 2: even that, before it was music, it was poetry. It

1246
01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:35,880
Speaker 2: was just writing in my journal. From very young, I

1247
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 2: always was just like writing my feelings down and trying

1248
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:43,400
Speaker 2: to I don't know, like making them, not just writing

1249
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 2: in my diary, but like kind of writing poetry, like

1250
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:51,120
Speaker 2: writing prose because it felt good. It felt like it

1251
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:56,919
Speaker 2: turned something that I couldn't explain into something that said

1252
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:58,880
Speaker 2: what I wanted to say that I couldn't say, or

1253
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 2: that or that was beautif like taking something really really

1254
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:04,240
Speaker 2: painful or really dark and making it into oh that

1255
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 2: could that's not worthless. It turned into something beautiful. At

1256
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,440
Speaker 2: least there's this little thing that I made that's beautiful

1257
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:14,040
Speaker 2: that couldn't have existed if I didn't feel those feelings.

1258
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 1: Do you feel you're misunderstood as a star artist? Evan

1259
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:25,040
Speaker 1: Essence is known for a certain style of music. Do

1260
01:03:25,120 --> 01:03:27,840
Speaker 1: you feel like, oh, yeah, I have a tory aimed

1261
01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:32,920
Speaker 1: as solo piano thing more demure and reserved, or no,

1262
01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:35,040
Speaker 1: this is what I do, this is who I am.

1263
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:40,760
Speaker 2: I it's a great question because I have gone through

1264
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:43,640
Speaker 2: phases in my life where I felt very like I

1265
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:47,640
Speaker 2: needed to search and like maybe this didn't sum it up,

1266
01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:50,440
Speaker 2: Like maybe evan Essence was a piece of something. And

1267
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:54,240
Speaker 2: I really feel home in the music that I'm making

1268
01:03:54,240 --> 01:03:56,280
Speaker 2: at this point. I feel like I know who I am.

1269
01:03:56,840 --> 01:04:00,720
Speaker 2: But another reason for the time between albums, another reason

1270
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:04,440
Speaker 2: for that that time of searching and introspection is allowing

1271
01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:07,720
Speaker 2: it to die in my mind, like I had to

1272
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:10,040
Speaker 2: do that a couple times, like go, Okay, I might

1273
01:04:10,160 --> 01:04:13,280
Speaker 2: never do this again, so let's just be me and

1274
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:16,960
Speaker 2: see what that looks and sounds like. And usually when

1275
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:19,160
Speaker 2: I when I'm just sitting around and I want to

1276
01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:20,920
Speaker 2: make music, I'm not thinking, Okay, this is going to

1277
01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:22,960
Speaker 2: be for Evanescence or this is going to be for

1278
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:27,800
Speaker 2: It's just I just let it happen and don't give

1279
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:31,680
Speaker 2: it those parameters. That's how I really enjoy making music.

1280
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 2: And what's a beautiful thing about that is that it

1281
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:38,360
Speaker 2: it has, this is what it sounds like, this is

1282
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:40,880
Speaker 2: what it sounds like. And Evanescence is a collaboration. It's

1283
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:45,480
Speaker 2: always been that, but but it's that is really that

1284
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:50,080
Speaker 2: is really me. So I don't because of that, I

1285
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:54,240
Speaker 2: am here this many years later and feel ultimate satisfaction

1286
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:57,520
Speaker 2: when we play our music, and we put our music

1287
01:04:57,640 --> 01:05:00,640
Speaker 2: because it is one from the heart and write on

1288
01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:05,320
Speaker 2: the money of who I feel that I am, you know,

1289
01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:09,920
Speaker 2: and that is varied. I feel like our band honestly,

1290
01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,920
Speaker 2: Like if you listen to it all, it's kind of

1291
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:14,600
Speaker 2: it's not all over the place, but it's a pretty

1292
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:16,840
Speaker 2: broad spectrum of stuff.

1293
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:21,440
Speaker 1: Let's talk about the lyrics. Twenty years on, do you

1294
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:26,960
Speaker 1: feel a need to convey your inner thoughts to the

1295
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:28,760
Speaker 1: degree you did previously?

1296
01:05:31,440 --> 01:05:34,080
Speaker 2: It feels good to do. The more you can say,

1297
01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:38,560
Speaker 2: the more you can express, Like, the more release you get.

1298
01:05:39,720 --> 01:05:42,040
Speaker 2: I mean, and I definitely feel like I'm a lot

1299
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:47,920
Speaker 2: better at putting stuff, putting the depth, you know, putting

1300
01:05:47,920 --> 01:05:52,160
Speaker 2: my darkest fears and my deepest feelings into music than

1301
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:54,840
Speaker 2: I am at just saying them in a conversation.

1302
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:56,600
Speaker 3: That's hard.

1303
01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:00,400
Speaker 1: Okay, you have this makeup artist, very good friend of yours,

1304
01:06:01,200 --> 01:06:05,800
Speaker 1: but forget the fans. That's something different. Generally speaking, are

1305
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:08,919
Speaker 1: you guarded or are you waiting to feel the right

1306
01:06:09,040 --> 01:06:11,520
Speaker 1: vibe that you say what you really think?

1307
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:18,080
Speaker 2: I guess that depends. It just depends on the situation.

1308
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:20,360
Speaker 2: I can definitely be a person who's just like just

1309
01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:22,760
Speaker 2: totally stick my foot in my mouth, like I'll just

1310
01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:24,160
Speaker 2: blurt stuff out and be like, why did I say

1311
01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:24,640
Speaker 2: that out loud?

1312
01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:29,400
Speaker 1: Okay, going back to career stuff, how do you end

1313
01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:31,720
Speaker 1: up on wind Up Records?

1314
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 2: Well, you know, kind of like I was saying before,

1315
01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:38,720
Speaker 2: we weren't really a band at the time. We were like,

1316
01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:43,280
Speaker 2: you know, songwriters, Like we were just creating music and

1317
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:45,920
Speaker 2: recording it and making demos and you know, pulling together

1318
01:06:46,240 --> 01:06:49,919
Speaker 2: people you know locally from bands, you know, to put

1319
01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:53,440
Speaker 2: on a show once in a while. And when what

1320
01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:57,280
Speaker 2: happened with wind Up is I'm trying to think how

1321
01:06:57,320 --> 01:07:01,280
Speaker 2: old I must have been. We signed when I was nineteen,

1322
01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:05,520
Speaker 2: so I guess I was probably eighteen. And we had

1323
01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:08,680
Speaker 2: taken our demos, which people talk about as if it's

1324
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:11,920
Speaker 2: an album. It's really not. But we put our demos

1325
01:07:11,920 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 2: into like a homemade album. It's called Origin, and we

1326
01:07:16,520 --> 01:07:18,880
Speaker 2: had I think we spent five hundred dollars to go

1327
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:21,840
Speaker 2: to Memphis and have it mastered, so like it sounded

1328
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:25,120
Speaker 2: really good. And while we were there, you know, working

1329
01:07:25,120 --> 01:07:28,480
Speaker 2: with the guy who was mastering it for us, Pete Matthews,

1330
01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:32,160
Speaker 2: was down the hall. It was really really nice and

1331
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:34,000
Speaker 2: like heard it through the door and was like, what

1332
01:07:34,040 --> 01:07:36,200
Speaker 2: who are you guys? And you know, we told them

1333
01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:37,680
Speaker 2: we're just kids and this is our band. He's like, wow,

1334
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:41,320
Speaker 2: that sounds really cool. He's like, I'm going to New

1335
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:44,360
Speaker 2: York to talk to this label about this other band

1336
01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:46,720
Speaker 2: I'm dealing with, and do you want me to show

1337
01:07:46,720 --> 01:07:48,120
Speaker 2: it to people? I could love to show that around.

1338
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:49,560
Speaker 2: Like he sat and listened to everything we were doing

1339
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:51,200
Speaker 2: and thought it was cool, and we're like, oh, yeah, cool,

1340
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:54,280
Speaker 2: yeah I do that. So it was really literally like

1341
01:07:54,280 --> 01:07:56,280
Speaker 2: the first people we talked to and what the song

1342
01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:59,920
Speaker 2: that got us signed was my Immortal because they just

1343
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:02,840
Speaker 2: something about that song, just love that song.

1344
01:08:02,960 --> 01:08:03,560
Speaker 3: That was the thing.

1345
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:05,720
Speaker 2: And it all kind of.

1346
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:06,960
Speaker 3: Happens sort of fast.

1347
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,920
Speaker 2: We we you know, we knew that the right thing

1348
01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:12,920
Speaker 2: to do is like to shop around, but honestly, like

1349
01:08:13,040 --> 01:08:16,559
Speaker 2: all the other labels wanted like a showcase and for

1350
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:18,120
Speaker 2: us to come in and play it live and see

1351
01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:20,679
Speaker 2: how and that's just not that wasn't we weren't there.

1352
01:08:21,280 --> 01:08:24,479
Speaker 2: That's just not really who we were. So it was

1353
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:26,200
Speaker 2: just one of those things like look this this label's

1354
01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:29,559
Speaker 2: right here right now. They've got a success story. They're

1355
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:31,280
Speaker 2: passionate about it. Why don't we just do this? So

1356
01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:33,439
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know, we're kids. We signed a

1357
01:08:33,439 --> 01:08:33,880
Speaker 2: record deal.

1358
01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:38,840
Speaker 1: Okay, you're kids. You know this is sort of well

1359
01:08:38,880 --> 01:08:41,840
Speaker 1: known stuff. There's Don Passman book, et cetera. Are you

1360
01:08:41,960 --> 01:08:45,200
Speaker 1: sharp enough to know we should get a music business lawyer,

1361
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:48,759
Speaker 1: we should get a manager, or you basically walk into

1362
01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:51,519
Speaker 1: the quagmiring it rape? Shall we say?

1363
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:53,000
Speaker 2: Uh?

1364
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:54,479
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1365
01:08:54,560 --> 01:08:56,200
Speaker 2: I feel like we kind of knew the roles and

1366
01:08:56,360 --> 01:08:59,240
Speaker 2: just didn't do what we were supposed to do. We

1367
01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:03,759
Speaker 2: we got a lawyer, but I mean it was definitely

1368
01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:06,080
Speaker 2: like what do you want me to say? Like this

1369
01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:08,240
Speaker 2: is this is a deal that you know, this is

1370
01:09:08,479 --> 01:09:12,160
Speaker 2: this is kind of you're committing your entire career here,

1371
01:09:12,320 --> 01:09:13,120
Speaker 2: that's what this is.

1372
01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:15,719
Speaker 3: But you also have no leverage.

1373
01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:18,200
Speaker 2: It's not like you're going in there saying, oh, well

1374
01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:20,840
Speaker 2: we've already succeeded this and that you have nothing. So

1375
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:22,760
Speaker 2: if you want to go give it a shot, you know,

1376
01:09:22,840 --> 01:09:24,599
Speaker 2: give it a shot. The worst thing that can happen

1377
01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:28,200
Speaker 2: is you become really successful and then you're in trouble.

1378
01:09:30,920 --> 01:09:33,360
Speaker 3: But I mean, we made it out alive, like it.

1379
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:38,840
Speaker 2: I will say this, like there there were definitely struggles

1380
01:09:38,920 --> 01:09:44,040
Speaker 2: with that relationship. That was difficult. But looking back, there

1381
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:47,439
Speaker 2: are things that they did for us that I see

1382
01:09:47,479 --> 01:09:53,439
Speaker 2: now as really valuable and rare, which was they made us.

1383
01:09:53,479 --> 01:09:55,080
Speaker 2: First of all, they made us. We thought we were done,

1384
01:09:55,120 --> 01:09:56,439
Speaker 2: and they're like, no, no, no, you're gonna have to like

1385
01:09:56,880 --> 01:10:01,840
Speaker 2: write more songs, like do your thing. They sent us

1386
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:04,680
Speaker 2: to la and put us in the oak Woods, and

1387
01:10:04,720 --> 01:10:08,639
Speaker 2: we're like, you're gonna, you know, like write more songs,

1388
01:10:08,840 --> 01:10:11,479
Speaker 2: you know, and also, you know, we work with this

1389
01:10:11,560 --> 01:10:14,960
Speaker 2: producer guy. Maybe something cool come out of that, uh,

1390
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:18,040
Speaker 2: like gave us. We didn't we didn't have much money

1391
01:10:18,080 --> 01:10:19,960
Speaker 2: to live off of, but like everything was kind of

1392
01:10:19,960 --> 01:10:20,439
Speaker 2: taken care of.

1393
01:10:20,479 --> 01:10:21,679
Speaker 3: It was like you have a gym membership.

1394
01:10:22,240 --> 01:10:26,360
Speaker 2: And they even got me like acting classes because it

1395
01:10:26,439 --> 01:10:31,040
Speaker 2: was super shy. It was every time I'd performed live before,

1396
01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:34,040
Speaker 2: I just had to keep my eyes closed, like the

1397
01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:36,160
Speaker 2: entire set, like just stand there with my eyes shut

1398
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:39,519
Speaker 2: and couldn't talk to the crowd. And what they did

1399
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:42,200
Speaker 2: was they they put me in with this guy. It

1400
01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:45,040
Speaker 2: was so awesome actually lose. I remember when we broke through,

1401
01:10:45,320 --> 01:10:47,400
Speaker 2: I would bring my boombox. He taught an acting class

1402
01:10:47,439 --> 01:10:49,519
Speaker 2: and at the end of the class, like he let

1403
01:10:49,520 --> 01:10:51,960
Speaker 2: me sit in if I wanted to. Everyone would leave

1404
01:10:52,360 --> 01:10:55,120
Speaker 2: and I'd have my stereo with our songs that we

1405
01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:58,479
Speaker 2: were working on, and he would sit in an empty

1406
01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:00,839
Speaker 2: little theater and I I would be on the stage

1407
01:11:00,920 --> 01:11:04,959
Speaker 2: and I would have to just cringingly sing my songs,

1408
01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:08,519
Speaker 2: looking at him, like just sing and do my thing

1409
01:11:08,560 --> 01:11:12,200
Speaker 2: and rock out and not have my eyes closed and

1410
01:11:12,840 --> 01:11:13,639
Speaker 2: try to get comfortable.

1411
01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:14,439
Speaker 3: It was super awkward.

1412
01:11:14,840 --> 01:11:17,400
Speaker 2: And then one day I remember just kind of I

1413
01:11:17,439 --> 01:11:19,360
Speaker 2: don't know, something clicked where I was like just I

1414
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:23,040
Speaker 2: stopped caring what he was thinking, and he saw it

1415
01:11:23,080 --> 01:11:24,080
Speaker 2: and he was like, there, you did it.

1416
01:11:24,320 --> 01:11:25,439
Speaker 3: That's it, You're good.

1417
01:11:26,200 --> 01:11:28,120
Speaker 2: And I was like we literally had I don't know,

1418
01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:31,479
Speaker 2: maybe seven seven sessions together and he just like helped

1419
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:33,280
Speaker 2: me get to a place where I felt more comfortable.

1420
01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:36,840
Speaker 2: That's so valuable. That is something that I needed that

1421
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:41,599
Speaker 2: I couldn't see that I needed. So I'm not sitting

1422
01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:43,479
Speaker 2: here to say how wonderful it all was. It was

1423
01:11:43,520 --> 01:11:45,760
Speaker 2: a real struggle, and the biggest thing we struggled about

1424
01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:48,519
Speaker 2: was creative control. Because I knew what I wanted, I

1425
01:11:48,600 --> 01:11:50,679
Speaker 2: knew what I wanted it to look like. I knew

1426
01:11:50,720 --> 01:11:54,120
Speaker 2: the words I wanted to sing. I needed to develop

1427
01:11:54,280 --> 01:11:58,960
Speaker 2: like my identity, and it was a struggle, not just

1428
01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:01,200
Speaker 2: for the first album, but after we had one Grammy's

1429
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:05,760
Speaker 2: and proven so much. I constantly had to fight just

1430
01:12:05,800 --> 01:12:14,880
Speaker 2: to prove that I could do what I had already done.

1431
01:12:16,479 --> 01:12:21,000
Speaker 1: Okay, you're talking about performing, but having this success, did

1432
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:25,080
Speaker 1: you have or still have any imposter syndrome? Oh?

1433
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:27,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, all the time? Yeah for sure.

1434
01:12:28,760 --> 01:12:32,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't know how to how to elaborate

1435
01:12:32,200 --> 01:12:34,360
Speaker 2: on that, but for sure, I definitely goes.

1436
01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:37,360
Speaker 1: Okay, let's go back. You hear your father's in music,

1437
01:12:37,479 --> 01:12:41,360
Speaker 1: You're exposed to all this music, you go to si Ahmedaish.

1438
01:12:41,439 --> 01:12:44,320
Speaker 1: At what point do you say, this is what I

1439
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:45,360
Speaker 1: want to do for a living.

1440
01:12:48,280 --> 01:12:49,720
Speaker 3: I felt like that struck me back then.

1441
01:12:50,479 --> 01:12:54,760
Speaker 2: I mean, but learning what that's what I want to

1442
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:57,800
Speaker 2: do for a living was grew and changed over time

1443
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:00,080
Speaker 2: because at first I didn't even think about myself as

1444
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:00,439
Speaker 2: a singer.

1445
01:13:01,240 --> 01:13:02,080
Speaker 3: It wasn't that my.

1446
01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:05,040
Speaker 2: Idea was ooh, I want to be the center of attention.

1447
01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:09,680
Speaker 2: That that wasn't really me. I wanted to create, I

1448
01:13:09,720 --> 01:13:12,800
Speaker 2: wanted to write music. I wanted to make music, and

1449
01:13:12,840 --> 01:13:14,880
Speaker 2: I really thought I was going down the road to

1450
01:13:14,880 --> 01:13:17,240
Speaker 2: write music for film. So when I went to college

1451
01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:19,360
Speaker 2: for a hot minute right before you know, we signed

1452
01:13:19,360 --> 01:13:23,600
Speaker 2: that deal. It was theory composition because I knew that

1453
01:13:23,680 --> 01:13:25,960
Speaker 2: I could play by ear and I knew that I could,

1454
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:27,519
Speaker 2: you know, write a song. But what I wanted to

1455
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:30,879
Speaker 2: get good at was the hard stuff, you know, learning

1456
01:13:31,200 --> 01:13:37,200
Speaker 2: the real technicality of music and instrumentation and you know, orchestration. Okay,

1457
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:39,040
Speaker 2: but then you know, like you know, I'm sorry, I

1458
01:13:39,080 --> 01:13:41,920
Speaker 2: didn't really finish like I was thinking that. But at

1459
01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:43,840
Speaker 2: the same time, like my heart was going towards this

1460
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:46,519
Speaker 2: place of contemporary music that was moving me so much,

1461
01:13:46,800 --> 01:13:48,200
Speaker 2: like the sound gardens and the U Yorks and the

1462
01:13:48,200 --> 01:13:49,519
Speaker 2: Smashing Pumpkins and the garbages.

1463
01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:55,160
Speaker 1: Okay, you're in high school with this, say oh Amy, Yeah, yeah,

1464
01:13:55,240 --> 01:13:57,439
Speaker 1: she's that girl. She's the one who plays the piano.

1465
01:13:57,560 --> 01:14:00,439
Speaker 1: She's one into music or was it a more private thing?

1466
01:14:01,960 --> 01:14:06,000
Speaker 2: They those who knew me at all, like did know that.

1467
01:14:07,080 --> 01:14:10,840
Speaker 2: But it's not like I was famous at school. I

1468
01:14:10,840 --> 01:14:13,280
Speaker 2: was just I was just an art kid. I was

1469
01:14:13,360 --> 01:14:14,080
Speaker 2: choir president.

1470
01:14:14,720 --> 01:14:20,040
Speaker 1: Okay. So all these years later, with all this great success,

1471
01:14:20,840 --> 01:14:23,720
Speaker 1: have you gone to any reunions? Have you heard from

1472
01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:24,639
Speaker 1: any of these people.

1473
01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:27,600
Speaker 2: Uh, oh, I've heard from them. Yeah, I've seen some

1474
01:14:27,640 --> 01:14:30,439
Speaker 2: of them since. Yeah, I actually have one, my bestie

1475
01:14:30,520 --> 01:14:32,120
Speaker 2: from junior high.

1476
01:14:32,240 --> 01:14:34,840
Speaker 1: I'm actually talking about the other people. I don't know

1477
01:14:34,880 --> 01:14:37,240
Speaker 1: how many people in your high school class, the people

1478
01:14:37,280 --> 01:14:40,960
Speaker 1: who gave you a hard time, et cetera. Have they

1479
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:44,600
Speaker 1: come out of the woodwork with different opinions.

1480
01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:48,320
Speaker 2: I don't know. I haven't really focused on that too much.

1481
01:14:49,560 --> 01:14:52,280
Speaker 2: There definitely were the people, Like you know, I feel

1482
01:14:52,320 --> 01:14:53,000
Speaker 2: like I have.

1483
01:14:52,960 --> 01:14:54,160
Speaker 3: A different heart about it now.

1484
01:14:54,560 --> 01:14:58,000
Speaker 2: When things felt like such a huge deal when you're

1485
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:00,240
Speaker 2: in middle school or high school, they really start to

1486
01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:02,280
Speaker 2: not feel like such a big deal. Later it's like, oh,

1487
01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:04,040
Speaker 2: we were all just kids. I don't hate you, You're

1488
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:08,760
Speaker 2: just a dumb kid like me. But at the time, yeah, no,

1489
01:15:08,800 --> 01:15:09,640
Speaker 2: I don't have that.

1490
01:15:09,840 --> 01:15:12,519
Speaker 1: Just to be clear, are you choosing not to go

1491
01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:15,479
Speaker 1: to reunion where the stars have not lined up?

1492
01:15:18,400 --> 01:15:22,760
Speaker 2: I did hear about the tenure union decide not to go?

1493
01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:28,040
Speaker 2: I feel I not for any reason. I just feel awkward.

1494
01:15:28,360 --> 01:15:32,280
Speaker 2: I just feel awkward. I feel like, especially if I

1495
01:15:32,600 --> 01:15:35,640
Speaker 2: hate feeling like in a situation, people are going to

1496
01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:37,880
Speaker 2: think that I think I'm better than everybody or something,

1497
01:15:38,280 --> 01:15:42,520
Speaker 2: and I feel so awkward, like walking into that situation.

1498
01:15:43,439 --> 01:15:45,400
Speaker 2: I don't know where they're like expecting me to like, hey,

1499
01:15:45,439 --> 01:15:48,360
Speaker 2: look at me, I made it, check it out. So

1500
01:15:48,520 --> 01:15:49,840
Speaker 2: I don't know, just feels awkward.

1501
01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:54,720
Speaker 1: Okay, when you're in high school, to what degree are

1502
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:56,080
Speaker 1: you playing out?

1503
01:15:58,200 --> 01:16:02,640
Speaker 2: I think we played like twelve shows ever before we

1504
01:16:02,680 --> 01:16:03,160
Speaker 2: got signed.

1505
01:16:04,080 --> 01:16:06,599
Speaker 1: Okay, you graduate, you go to college. How long did

1506
01:16:06,640 --> 01:16:08,640
Speaker 1: you stay in college?

1507
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:10,000
Speaker 3: One whole semester?

1508
01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:16,120
Speaker 1: Okay, just to get the timeline right, Yeah, you make

1509
01:16:16,200 --> 01:16:19,879
Speaker 1: this album with this other guy, You go to Memphis

1510
01:16:19,880 --> 01:16:23,400
Speaker 1: to get it mastered. When that's happening, are you already

1511
01:16:23,400 --> 01:16:28,440
Speaker 1: in college? Oh yeah?

1512
01:16:28,760 --> 01:16:32,280
Speaker 2: I why shoot, No, that was before that was still

1513
01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:32,840
Speaker 2: high school.

1514
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:37,720
Speaker 1: Okay. From the time you go to Memphis to the

1515
01:16:37,840 --> 01:16:40,640
Speaker 1: time you end up in La how much time is that.

1516
01:16:41,640 --> 01:16:46,160
Speaker 2: It's a really short amount of time. We were in Memphis,

1517
01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:49,920
Speaker 2: Well we went back to that's such a weird it's

1518
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:52,720
Speaker 2: foggy now, Like we went there to do the mastering thing,

1519
01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:53,439
Speaker 2: and then we went back.

1520
01:16:53,360 --> 01:16:56,360
Speaker 1: Home and then let me let me ask questions a

1521
01:16:56,360 --> 01:16:59,920
Speaker 1: different way. From the time wind Up heard it, how

1522
01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:02,120
Speaker 1: long until you had signed contracts?

1523
01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:05,560
Speaker 3: It was within a year. It was probably it was

1524
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:06,360
Speaker 3: a matter of months.

1525
01:17:06,680 --> 01:17:06,920
Speaker 2: I think.

1526
01:17:07,320 --> 01:17:11,719
Speaker 1: Okay, did they move you out to Los Angeles before

1527
01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:13,120
Speaker 1: the contracts were signed?

1528
01:17:14,720 --> 01:17:17,320
Speaker 2: I think that was after after I think it's sign

1529
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:19,679
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, we're putting you in like artists development.

1530
01:17:19,680 --> 01:17:23,280
Speaker 1: Okay, Just to go back from the time wind Up

1531
01:17:23,360 --> 01:17:26,680
Speaker 1: first heard your music, how long until you end up

1532
01:17:26,680 --> 01:17:30,920
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles? A year?

1533
01:17:31,439 --> 01:17:32,679
Speaker 2: So, while maybe.

1534
01:17:32,560 --> 01:17:36,880
Speaker 1: Didn't happen fast, what's going through your mind during that year?

1535
01:17:38,680 --> 01:17:41,680
Speaker 2: I don't know, just making music, just music. It's like

1536
01:17:41,720 --> 01:17:43,720
Speaker 2: always had to be better, make more, and make something wright.

1537
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:45,600
Speaker 1: I mean there are two things. I mean, this is

1538
01:17:45,640 --> 01:17:49,360
Speaker 1: a long shot business under the best of circumstances. So

1539
01:17:49,880 --> 01:17:51,920
Speaker 1: you could be chomping at the bit saying I'm ready

1540
01:17:51,920 --> 01:17:55,400
Speaker 1: to orse he say, is this really gonna happen? Or man,

1541
01:17:55,479 --> 01:17:56,960
Speaker 1: I just can't wait anymore.

1542
01:17:57,760 --> 01:18:00,520
Speaker 2: Well, you know, here is where the word is anxiety

1543
01:18:00,520 --> 01:18:02,280
Speaker 2: comes to mind. There was so much pressure all of

1544
01:18:02,320 --> 01:18:04,439
Speaker 2: a sudden because there it's like, oh my god, people

1545
01:18:04,479 --> 01:18:07,120
Speaker 2: are they're putting money into us, like we have to

1546
01:18:07,160 --> 01:18:10,360
Speaker 2: make it, like this has to be good. I left

1547
01:18:10,400 --> 01:18:14,559
Speaker 2: school for this, like everything is on the line, and

1548
01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:18,760
Speaker 2: it definitely felt like this is my job, like is

1549
01:18:18,840 --> 01:18:20,599
Speaker 2: it is not just the thing that you love. It's

1550
01:18:20,640 --> 01:18:23,559
Speaker 2: your job to make this work for more than just you,

1551
01:18:23,640 --> 01:18:27,320
Speaker 2: like for everybody involved. So pressure, major pressure is what

1552
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:27,720
Speaker 2: it felt like.

1553
01:18:27,880 --> 01:18:30,360
Speaker 1: What did your parents say when you said you're dropping

1554
01:18:30,400 --> 01:18:31,160
Speaker 1: out of college?

1555
01:18:32,120 --> 01:18:34,160
Speaker 3: They were really cool.

1556
01:18:35,040 --> 01:18:36,679
Speaker 2: My dad, you know, I said, he was a musician,

1557
01:18:36,680 --> 01:18:39,200
Speaker 2: he was in a band before I was born, and

1558
01:18:39,240 --> 01:18:43,400
Speaker 2: he knew how rare and special it was that we'd

1559
01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:46,080
Speaker 2: even gotten too that place like that they wanted to

1560
01:18:46,080 --> 01:18:49,080
Speaker 2: sign us. And it was always with this attitude of like, hey,

1561
01:18:49,160 --> 01:18:53,519
Speaker 2: like you know, keep perspective in your heart, of like

1562
01:18:53,600 --> 01:18:56,320
Speaker 2: how it's gonna go, you know, like you know, keep

1563
01:18:56,360 --> 01:18:58,679
Speaker 2: up your studies. But like, you know, when that happened,

1564
01:18:58,680 --> 01:19:02,880
Speaker 2: it was they were one hundred in my corner and cheering, and.

1565
01:19:03,040 --> 01:19:03,680
Speaker 3: It was it.

1566
01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:05,519
Speaker 2: Really you said it was a long It wasn't. It

1567
01:19:05,560 --> 01:19:07,240
Speaker 2: didn't feel like a long time. It felt fast. It

1568
01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:09,839
Speaker 2: was like one minute we're in school, the next minute

1569
01:19:10,080 --> 01:19:12,400
Speaker 2: we're out of there and working on music, and we

1570
01:19:12,760 --> 01:19:15,479
Speaker 2: have a career that we're working on and making, you know, music.

1571
01:19:15,600 --> 01:19:17,879
Speaker 2: And then a year and a half after that, Fallen's

1572
01:19:17,960 --> 01:19:20,719
Speaker 2: coming out and then the Grammys and my parents were

1573
01:19:21,800 --> 01:19:23,840
Speaker 2: they had a big party and we're like watching that.

1574
01:19:23,920 --> 01:19:25,280
Speaker 2: I just was looking at the picture of the day.

1575
01:19:25,320 --> 01:19:27,800
Speaker 2: It's so cute, Like I had all their friends over

1576
01:19:27,800 --> 01:19:29,559
Speaker 2: and they're all sitting living and watching the Grammys. When

1577
01:19:29,560 --> 01:19:29,840
Speaker 2: we won.

1578
01:19:31,360 --> 01:19:36,960
Speaker 1: Okay, you go to LA, they say they need more songs.

1579
01:19:37,479 --> 01:19:39,600
Speaker 1: So what did you end up doing in LA? I

1580
01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:41,840
Speaker 1: mean you talk about the acting less, you talk about writing,

1581
01:19:41,840 --> 01:19:45,120
Speaker 1: you talked about a producer. But at a more granular level,

1582
01:19:45,160 --> 01:19:47,560
Speaker 1: what was actually going on in that period.

1583
01:19:48,240 --> 01:19:51,320
Speaker 2: Well, not a lot that I mean that that was

1584
01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:53,400
Speaker 2: the focus for me. I don't know.

1585
01:19:55,680 --> 01:19:59,680
Speaker 1: You'd cut a record. Did they say we want a

1586
01:20:00,439 --> 01:20:04,759
Speaker 1: to those records and we want to remix that record

1587
01:20:04,760 --> 01:20:05,960
Speaker 1: and we want new material.

1588
01:20:06,880 --> 01:20:09,400
Speaker 2: No, we were writing and demo ing stuff, so we

1589
01:20:09,520 --> 01:20:12,680
Speaker 2: had like, uh, it was just our job to like.

1590
01:20:12,640 --> 01:20:14,280
Speaker 3: Come up with stuff, and they told until they told

1591
01:20:14,320 --> 01:20:16,120
Speaker 3: it was us talk about it.

1592
01:20:16,280 --> 01:20:19,760
Speaker 1: Was there a specific producer or multiple producers?

1593
01:20:20,160 --> 01:20:24,120
Speaker 2: There were the I hate to mention somebody if I

1594
01:20:24,120 --> 01:20:29,040
Speaker 2: can't remember their name. What really happened? What once we

1595
01:20:29,080 --> 01:20:30,240
Speaker 2: really started getting.

1596
01:20:31,720 --> 01:20:32,679
Speaker 3: There were a couple of people.

1597
01:20:32,760 --> 01:20:36,960
Speaker 2: Okay, yes, but I want to say like two because

1598
01:20:36,960 --> 01:20:39,120
Speaker 2: when we kind of came time to like, okay, we've

1599
01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:43,920
Speaker 2: got you've got the songs, now you know it. We

1600
01:20:43,960 --> 01:20:46,240
Speaker 2: met with Dave Fortman because their their thought was Jay

1601
01:20:46,280 --> 01:20:49,080
Speaker 2: Bongerner and Dave Portman, who is formerly an ugly kid

1602
01:20:49,160 --> 01:20:51,840
Speaker 2: Joe and then became an awesome producer. He was just

1603
01:20:51,880 --> 01:20:54,080
Speaker 2: kind of starting out his producer career as well. He

1604
01:20:54,160 --> 01:20:57,120
Speaker 2: was like under Jay's wing, and uh, I think it

1605
01:20:57,120 --> 01:20:58,720
Speaker 2: was the kind of thing where Jay wasn't available and

1606
01:20:58,880 --> 01:21:00,680
Speaker 2: and Dave was. And we met with Jay, and we

1607
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:03,320
Speaker 2: really really I mean with Dave, We really really liked

1608
01:21:03,360 --> 01:21:03,960
Speaker 2: him a lot.

1609
01:21:04,280 --> 01:21:04,800
Speaker 3: Hit it off.

1610
01:21:05,520 --> 01:21:08,600
Speaker 2: I felt like he understood something about it and was

1611
01:21:08,640 --> 01:21:10,200
Speaker 2: going to bring cool stuff to the table, even though

1612
01:21:10,200 --> 01:21:12,719
Speaker 2: he didn't have a bunch of records to say, here's

1613
01:21:12,760 --> 01:21:14,559
Speaker 2: all the things I've already done. We were all kind

1614
01:21:14,600 --> 01:21:19,120
Speaker 2: of going in trusting each other and that relationship was

1615
01:21:19,439 --> 01:21:24,880
Speaker 2: really important and great. Like having Dave for both Fallen

1616
01:21:24,960 --> 01:21:28,800
Speaker 2: and the Open Door was it was so essential for

1617
01:21:28,840 --> 01:21:29,559
Speaker 2: me personally.

1618
01:21:31,840 --> 01:21:34,960
Speaker 1: How long after you go to LA do they say

1619
01:21:35,520 --> 01:21:37,960
Speaker 1: you have the songs, let's cut them? Or are you

1620
01:21:38,120 --> 01:21:39,599
Speaker 1: cutting them as you're writing them?

1621
01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:41,760
Speaker 3: No, we weren't cutting as we were writing.

1622
01:21:41,760 --> 01:21:43,680
Speaker 2: We're just demoing. We were just demoing. And then it

1623
01:21:43,720 --> 01:21:46,760
Speaker 2: was like okay, we agree, like on your songs, like

1624
01:21:46,880 --> 01:21:48,720
Speaker 2: you can go in. But it was very much like

1625
01:21:48,760 --> 01:21:52,080
Speaker 2: you know, it was my schooling. It's like the traditional method,

1626
01:21:52,120 --> 01:21:55,080
Speaker 2: like you go in. Time is money. You know we're

1627
01:21:55,120 --> 01:21:57,680
Speaker 2: going to record, you know, first get make sure we

1628
01:21:57,720 --> 01:21:59,720
Speaker 2: know we've got everything mapped out before we're paying for

1629
01:21:59,720 --> 01:22:02,599
Speaker 2: student a time in like a pre production sort of zone,

1630
01:22:02,640 --> 01:22:05,960
Speaker 2: in a rehearsal space at where Dave was with us,

1631
01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:08,280
Speaker 2: like kind of mapping things out. We've already decided this

1632
01:22:08,360 --> 01:22:10,280
Speaker 2: is the tempo, you know, this is how long the

1633
01:22:10,280 --> 01:22:12,679
Speaker 2: bridge is, all the pretty much had it all mapped

1634
01:22:12,920 --> 01:22:14,439
Speaker 2: and then it's like you go into the studio and

1635
01:22:14,479 --> 01:22:15,800
Speaker 2: you do all the drums and then you do all

1636
01:22:15,800 --> 01:22:17,000
Speaker 2: the bass, and then you do all the guitar and

1637
01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:18,519
Speaker 2: then you know, just in order like that.

1638
01:22:19,400 --> 01:22:20,320
Speaker 3: So it's pretty typical.

1639
01:22:20,479 --> 01:22:23,800
Speaker 1: Okay, to the degree you can remember, you land in

1640
01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:26,680
Speaker 1: LA you end up working with Dave Fortman. How long

1641
01:22:26,720 --> 01:22:27,800
Speaker 1: a period of time is that.

1642
01:22:30,040 --> 01:22:33,920
Speaker 2: From landing to working with him? We spent at a

1643
01:22:34,080 --> 01:22:36,160
Speaker 2: solid year I almost want to say a year and

1644
01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:41,800
Speaker 2: a half in that limbo like still writing songs, pre

1645
01:22:41,840 --> 01:22:42,599
Speaker 2: production zone.

1646
01:22:42,760 --> 01:22:46,200
Speaker 1: I okay, you're a young woman essentially a coupler student.

1647
01:22:46,640 --> 01:22:49,479
Speaker 1: Do they give you a car? Do you hang out?

1648
01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:51,920
Speaker 1: Do you go to shows? Do you go to the beach?

1649
01:22:52,360 --> 01:22:55,360
Speaker 1: Or you just sitting in the would writing songs.

1650
01:22:55,720 --> 01:22:58,400
Speaker 2: I went to the beach, sure, and I had my

1651
01:22:58,479 --> 01:23:02,360
Speaker 2: family all come out, like during spring Breaker something, and

1652
01:23:02,560 --> 01:23:04,080
Speaker 2: we all went to Universal. And I felt like the

1653
01:23:04,080 --> 01:23:06,760
Speaker 2: cool person who like took into Venice Beach and went

1654
01:23:06,800 --> 01:23:09,479
Speaker 2: to Universal Studios. And I'm the big sister who's like

1655
01:23:09,479 --> 01:23:11,400
Speaker 2: about to be a rock star with all the my

1656
01:23:11,400 --> 01:23:14,479
Speaker 2: sweet little sibs just like that, making them think I'm

1657
01:23:14,520 --> 01:23:15,000
Speaker 2: super cool.

1658
01:23:15,439 --> 01:23:20,200
Speaker 1: So nobody doubt.

1659
01:23:20,200 --> 01:23:22,919
Speaker 2: Of whether or not we were going to run success.

1660
01:23:23,439 --> 01:23:26,679
Speaker 2: Oh of course though, Well you can't think about that.

1661
01:23:26,439 --> 01:23:27,720
Speaker 2: That's all cass you up.

1662
01:23:28,920 --> 01:23:33,960
Speaker 1: The record is now done. Are you a happy with

1663
01:23:34,040 --> 01:23:36,040
Speaker 1: the record? And B do you believe it's going to

1664
01:23:36,080 --> 01:23:38,080
Speaker 1: be commercially successful?

1665
01:23:39,120 --> 01:23:42,000
Speaker 2: I absolutely believe that. I think.

1666
01:23:43,800 --> 01:23:46,519
Speaker 3: For the most part, like you have to you have

1667
01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:48,800
Speaker 3: to be good. Things are made.

1668
01:23:48,600 --> 01:23:51,200
Speaker 2: When everybody believes in it and everybody's excited about it

1669
01:23:51,200 --> 01:23:54,599
Speaker 2: and working for it, as if there is no possible

1670
01:23:54,600 --> 01:23:56,679
Speaker 2: way it could fail, Like you have to operate that way,

1671
01:23:56,960 --> 01:24:00,280
Speaker 2: like that's the passion just driving you. I always leaved

1672
01:24:00,280 --> 01:24:06,560
Speaker 2: in it like that. But what I couldn't have foreseen

1673
01:24:07,439 --> 01:24:11,760
Speaker 2: or maybe believed or comprehended at the time was where

1674
01:24:11,800 --> 01:24:14,920
Speaker 2: I'm at now. I think, like the whole the whole

1675
01:24:14,920 --> 01:24:17,320
Speaker 2: thing in my head at the time was about that

1676
01:24:17,360 --> 01:24:20,840
Speaker 2: album and that music and that moment and us existing

1677
01:24:20,880 --> 01:24:22,559
Speaker 2: in a way. Where are we going to be a

1678
01:24:22,600 --> 01:24:24,640
Speaker 2: band that can like exist and I can I can

1679
01:24:24,680 --> 01:24:27,160
Speaker 2: be a musician like this, you know, for my career,

1680
01:24:28,800 --> 01:24:31,320
Speaker 2: it wasn't long term, Like I never would have imagined

1681
01:24:31,320 --> 01:24:36,080
Speaker 2: that at forty three we be at a better place

1682
01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:39,679
Speaker 2: by far than we were at on our first album,

1683
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:43,880
Speaker 2: which which did so well, and have fans around the

1684
01:24:43,920 --> 01:24:47,719
Speaker 2: world and all those things. Like it's definitely a degree

1685
01:24:47,760 --> 01:24:50,200
Speaker 2: that isn't something you can plan for or expect. You

1686
01:24:50,320 --> 01:24:52,599
Speaker 2: just I don't know. You just have to make what

1687
01:24:52,640 --> 01:24:54,280
Speaker 2: you love and believe in it and give it, give

1688
01:24:54,280 --> 01:24:55,439
Speaker 2: it your everything all the time.

1689
01:24:55,840 --> 01:24:58,880
Speaker 1: Okay, it's a different era twenty years ago, but the

1690
01:24:58,920 --> 01:25:03,760
Speaker 1: record is done, the record is released. From your perspective,

1691
01:25:04,040 --> 01:25:06,960
Speaker 1: did it just take off or did they say let's

1692
01:25:07,000 --> 01:25:08,720
Speaker 1: see if it happens, or did they put you on

1693
01:25:08,800 --> 01:25:11,080
Speaker 1: the road. What happened.

1694
01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:18,360
Speaker 2: In my mind now, it all felt pretty fast, but

1695
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:22,160
Speaker 2: It was a tumultuous time for sure. Like it was

1696
01:25:22,200 --> 01:25:25,240
Speaker 2: like there was big success that felt fat. It was

1697
01:25:25,320 --> 01:25:28,400
Speaker 2: fast radio stations like Seattle I think was like the

1698
01:25:28,400 --> 01:25:29,760
Speaker 2: first one that picked it up. And then it was

1699
01:25:29,800 --> 01:25:31,680
Speaker 2: like ky rock and it just spread and it was

1700
01:25:31,680 --> 01:25:37,160
Speaker 2: this thing where it was charting, and I had a

1701
01:25:37,160 --> 01:25:39,360
Speaker 2: lot of a lot of conflicting feelings going on at

1702
01:25:39,400 --> 01:25:42,959
Speaker 2: the same time, excitement and all that, of course, also exhaustion.

1703
01:25:43,120 --> 01:25:46,760
Speaker 2: We were touring way hard and in between, you know,

1704
01:25:46,920 --> 01:25:49,200
Speaker 2: starting to do the awards show stuff and everything all

1705
01:25:49,280 --> 01:25:51,600
Speaker 2: this like that stuff like it was all it was

1706
01:25:51,680 --> 01:25:53,840
Speaker 2: kind of all at once, and at the same time

1707
01:25:53,880 --> 01:25:55,840
Speaker 2: I was worried. I remember what it was bringing to

1708
01:25:55,880 --> 01:25:57,559
Speaker 2: life was our first song and there was a guest

1709
01:25:57,600 --> 01:26:02,000
Speaker 2: vocal on it. I was really really worried about that.

1710
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:04,920
Speaker 2: That wasn't what I wanted. And I was concerned that

1711
01:26:04,920 --> 01:26:07,519
Speaker 2: people wouldn't understand our sound. But they was think there

1712
01:26:07,560 --> 01:26:09,240
Speaker 2: was two singers in the band, and how are we

1713
01:26:09,280 --> 01:26:12,080
Speaker 2: going to overcome this like this this thing that we

1714
01:26:12,160 --> 01:26:15,840
Speaker 2: had to do, you know. And Paul, by the way,

1715
01:26:16,200 --> 01:26:21,000
Speaker 2: was wonderful. I really love Paul. He did everything to

1716
01:26:21,040 --> 01:26:23,160
Speaker 2: just come into the stshure. We go okay, like I'll

1717
01:26:23,200 --> 01:26:26,560
Speaker 2: do this and and nailed it, and then at the

1718
01:26:26,600 --> 01:26:29,400
Speaker 2: same time I'm struggling with like it was that wasn't

1719
01:26:29,400 --> 01:26:31,559
Speaker 2: my original vision and are people gonna I don't know,

1720
01:26:31,960 --> 01:26:34,920
Speaker 2: but you know, only a few months later, which felt

1721
01:26:34,920 --> 01:26:37,599
Speaker 2: like a million years in the moment, Going Under happened

1722
01:26:37,880 --> 01:26:40,559
Speaker 2: and it was really successful too, and then my mortal

1723
01:26:40,640 --> 01:26:42,559
Speaker 2: and I was just it was this relief that people

1724
01:26:42,600 --> 01:26:45,960
Speaker 2: understood who we were. At the same time, my brother

1725
01:26:46,040 --> 01:26:49,840
Speaker 2: was sick at home having brain surgery that year, and

1726
01:26:50,640 --> 01:26:53,040
Speaker 2: it just it was just a time where there was

1727
01:26:53,080 --> 01:26:56,280
Speaker 2: a lot of emotion in me and a lot of

1728
01:26:56,320 --> 01:27:01,400
Speaker 2: me feeling like I needed to present strong, and inside

1729
01:27:01,720 --> 01:27:04,280
Speaker 2: I felt like I didn't have a lot of control

1730
01:27:04,479 --> 01:27:05,280
Speaker 2: over anything.

1731
01:27:07,560 --> 01:27:12,479
Speaker 1: Okay, you do have this great success out of the

1732
01:27:12,520 --> 01:27:16,160
Speaker 1: box you've been working. You know, there's a couple of

1733
01:27:16,160 --> 01:27:20,240
Speaker 1: cliches here. You've been working on your first album for years. Second,

1734
01:27:20,280 --> 01:27:23,720
Speaker 1: you have success. Now what you have to follow it up?

1735
01:27:25,040 --> 01:27:25,519
Speaker 3: Exactly?

1736
01:27:30,400 --> 01:27:33,880
Speaker 2: How do I? How do I start that one?

1737
01:27:34,200 --> 01:27:36,599
Speaker 1: What do you? You know? What do you even do?

1738
01:27:36,680 --> 01:27:38,799
Speaker 1: Are you on the road saying, fuck, I gotta write

1739
01:27:38,840 --> 01:27:42,120
Speaker 1: songs or when the tour is over, I'll write songs

1740
01:27:42,160 --> 01:27:44,120
Speaker 1: and yeah, I gotta have songs as good as a

1741
01:27:44,200 --> 01:27:45,120
Speaker 1: previous album.

1742
01:27:47,320 --> 01:27:50,960
Speaker 2: I wanted all of that, but writing on the road

1743
01:27:51,040 --> 01:27:53,679
Speaker 2: wasn't possible for me. That was way too hard at

1744
01:27:53,720 --> 01:27:56,040
Speaker 2: the time. I'm able to come up with ideas better

1745
01:27:56,080 --> 01:27:58,400
Speaker 2: now I have a little portable rig and I'm comfortable

1746
01:27:58,400 --> 01:28:01,400
Speaker 2: with multitasking. It's like I can only think about one.

1747
01:28:01,439 --> 01:28:04,200
Speaker 2: Those are two opposite sides of my personality. There's the

1748
01:28:04,320 --> 01:28:08,799
Speaker 2: you know, the creative introvert who's you know, writing songs

1749
01:28:08,920 --> 01:28:11,920
Speaker 2: and only thinking about like the inside. And then there's

1750
01:28:11,960 --> 01:28:14,360
Speaker 2: this extrovert side that I have to be this showman

1751
01:28:14,800 --> 01:28:17,360
Speaker 2: and doing interviews and standing on stage and telling the

1752
01:28:17,360 --> 01:28:21,000
Speaker 2: crowd to rally and all those things. So for me,

1753
01:28:21,080 --> 01:28:25,360
Speaker 2: it was like I could only do one. So we

1754
01:28:25,479 --> 01:28:28,160
Speaker 2: toured fall In for a really good amount of time,

1755
01:28:28,240 --> 01:28:30,040
Speaker 2: like when all over the world. It was exhausting by

1756
01:28:30,080 --> 01:28:32,240
Speaker 2: the time I got home and I was tired, but

1757
01:28:32,680 --> 01:28:35,640
Speaker 2: I had it definitely in my heart that I was

1758
01:28:36,040 --> 01:28:38,400
Speaker 2: dying to prove myself and I knew, you know, what

1759
01:28:38,479 --> 01:28:40,080
Speaker 2: it meant, and it was like, well, this is survival

1760
01:28:40,160 --> 01:28:42,640
Speaker 2: or not, and I have to show like what is

1761
01:28:42,720 --> 01:28:46,599
Speaker 2: me and what my worth is because you know, even

1762
01:28:46,760 --> 01:28:50,600
Speaker 2: the people around me don't know. And I have to

1763
01:28:50,600 --> 01:28:54,360
Speaker 2: give some credit to Terry Balsamo, who became our guitar

1764
01:28:54,400 --> 01:28:57,639
Speaker 2: player in the middle of that Fallen tour. He's from

1765
01:28:57,680 --> 01:29:01,600
Speaker 2: a band Cold, and I remember at the time like

1766
01:29:01,640 --> 01:29:06,839
Speaker 2: he was struggling in his situation with his band, and

1767
01:29:06,920 --> 01:29:10,320
Speaker 2: when I don't know, when things hit the fan, it

1768
01:29:10,400 --> 01:29:11,559
Speaker 2: was like, Hey, you want to be in a band

1769
01:29:11,560 --> 01:29:13,920
Speaker 2: with me? You want to come like fill in. He's like, yeah,

1770
01:29:13,920 --> 01:29:17,080
Speaker 2: I'll fill in, And then we ended up really connecting

1771
01:29:17,160 --> 01:29:20,479
Speaker 2: musically on a lot of things. He sort of it

1772
01:29:20,520 --> 01:29:24,080
Speaker 2: was kind of like I made him love and appreciate

1773
01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:27,120
Speaker 2: you York, and he made me love and appreciate Pantera

1774
01:29:27,280 --> 01:29:30,000
Speaker 2: and the Deaf Tones. So it was like this nice

1775
01:29:30,080 --> 01:29:33,040
Speaker 2: like mashup of like opposite worlds that was really beautiful.

1776
01:29:33,040 --> 01:29:33,920
Speaker 3: And he's a great musician.

1777
01:29:34,240 --> 01:29:37,120
Speaker 2: So we spent a bunch of time after the end

1778
01:29:37,200 --> 01:29:40,960
Speaker 2: of tour at my place in California, just the two

1779
01:29:41,040 --> 01:29:45,519
Speaker 2: of us writing the second record. He stayed with me

1780
01:29:45,840 --> 01:29:49,320
Speaker 2: for weeks at a time and we would just be creative,

1781
01:29:49,840 --> 01:29:54,200
Speaker 2: hang out, night, swim, go, get drunk, all that stuff,

1782
01:29:55,160 --> 01:29:57,960
Speaker 2: and it was just a really it was an important

1783
01:29:57,960 --> 01:30:00,360
Speaker 2: time for me to feel like and and he was

1784
01:30:00,960 --> 01:30:08,559
Speaker 2: honestly just extremely supportive of me and uplifting me about

1785
01:30:08,600 --> 01:30:11,200
Speaker 2: my ideas. It wasn't that he was always going, yeah

1786
01:30:11,200 --> 01:30:12,720
Speaker 2: that's not heavy enough, or yeah that could be cooler

1787
01:30:12,720 --> 01:30:14,680
Speaker 2: if we did this. He really listened to me and

1788
01:30:14,720 --> 01:30:16,920
Speaker 2: followed me and respected me. Even though I feel like

1789
01:30:17,400 --> 01:30:20,120
Speaker 2: it was it was something that was different. We had

1790
01:30:20,160 --> 01:30:24,240
Speaker 2: different talents. It's hard to explain, but I got very,

1791
01:30:24,360 --> 01:30:27,000
Speaker 2: very lucky meeting him at the right time, and we

1792
01:30:27,439 --> 01:30:29,400
Speaker 2: made that album and worked on the next one together

1793
01:30:29,479 --> 01:30:29,840
Speaker 2: as well.

1794
01:30:37,920 --> 01:30:41,400
Speaker 1: Okay, you referenced this earlier, but let's go a little

1795
01:30:41,439 --> 01:30:45,559
Speaker 1: deeper into the five years between the second and third albums.

1796
01:30:46,080 --> 01:30:50,920
Speaker 1: M So you said earlier you got to a point

1797
01:30:50,960 --> 01:30:52,759
Speaker 1: where you said, I don't know if I'm even gonna

1798
01:30:52,800 --> 01:30:58,840
Speaker 1: do this anymore. I mean, was this exhaustion anger or

1799
01:30:58,960 --> 01:31:01,280
Speaker 1: like I did it, I want to take a break?

1800
01:31:01,360 --> 01:31:01,960
Speaker 1: What was it?

1801
01:31:02,960 --> 01:31:05,360
Speaker 2: There was a lot of things. I was struggling with

1802
01:31:05,360 --> 01:31:09,240
Speaker 2: the label. I was also struggling with management. I had

1803
01:31:09,280 --> 01:31:11,559
Speaker 2: to go through a couple of lawsuits. There was just

1804
01:31:11,600 --> 01:31:15,439
Speaker 2: a mess. There was a mess behind the scenes, and

1805
01:31:15,520 --> 01:31:16,760
Speaker 2: it was stuck in all the fun out of it

1806
01:31:16,800 --> 01:31:18,920
Speaker 2: for me, Like every time I had a cool idea.

1807
01:31:18,960 --> 01:31:22,920
Speaker 2: I feel like it was being not appreciated shot down,

1808
01:31:23,040 --> 01:31:27,400
Speaker 2: Like I just you have I have learned the incredible

1809
01:31:27,400 --> 01:31:30,360
Speaker 2: difference of surrounding yourself with people who truly like believe

1810
01:31:30,400 --> 01:31:34,800
Speaker 2: in you. I didn't have that for a while, and

1811
01:31:35,040 --> 01:31:37,719
Speaker 2: when we got to the end of touring the second one,

1812
01:31:37,800 --> 01:31:41,200
Speaker 2: there was a mess and I just it just didn't

1813
01:31:41,200 --> 01:31:45,080
Speaker 2: want to spend my life arguing and fighting for everything.

1814
01:31:45,280 --> 01:31:47,640
Speaker 2: I just wanted to make great music, you know, and

1815
01:31:47,680 --> 01:31:52,240
Speaker 2: it's just not It wasn't that simple. So I definitely

1816
01:31:52,240 --> 01:31:56,360
Speaker 2: spend some time like in court and like cleaning up messes,

1817
01:31:56,400 --> 01:31:59,640
Speaker 2: like behind the scenes. And also like Terry had a

1818
01:31:59,680 --> 01:32:03,240
Speaker 2: stroke and it was really difficult. It had become really

1819
01:32:03,240 --> 01:32:05,920
Speaker 2: difficult for him to play and tour. So it was

1820
01:32:05,960 --> 01:32:07,960
Speaker 2: like I lost that thing that it helped me, you know.

1821
01:32:08,600 --> 01:32:10,240
Speaker 2: So there was just it felt at the time like

1822
01:32:10,280 --> 01:32:11,519
Speaker 2: there was a lot against me. And I was also

1823
01:32:11,560 --> 01:32:14,080
Speaker 2: kind of having an identity crisis about what it was

1824
01:32:14,160 --> 01:32:16,240
Speaker 2: and what it looked like. And I could see elements

1825
01:32:16,240 --> 01:32:19,720
Speaker 2: of like it's like the picture on the fall and cover,

1826
01:32:20,200 --> 01:32:21,879
Speaker 2: it was like a cartoon of myself.

1827
01:32:22,080 --> 01:32:24,360
Speaker 3: It's like that's a character that's not me.

1828
01:32:24,920 --> 01:32:25,000
Speaker 1: That.

1829
01:32:25,080 --> 01:32:27,720
Speaker 2: I mean, it's a caricature. It's it's not the whole me,

1830
01:32:28,280 --> 01:32:31,519
Speaker 2: and people don't understand like that there's a lot more

1831
01:32:31,560 --> 01:32:34,600
Speaker 2: to this than that. And I was still, I don't know,

1832
01:32:34,640 --> 01:32:36,000
Speaker 2: at a place in my life where that was that

1833
01:32:36,080 --> 01:32:36,599
Speaker 2: was difficult.

1834
01:32:37,080 --> 01:32:38,519
Speaker 3: I want everybody to know me all the way.

1835
01:32:38,600 --> 01:32:40,120
Speaker 2: I know that people can't know me all the way,

1836
01:32:40,520 --> 01:32:42,200
Speaker 2: but like as an artist, I think there's something in

1837
01:32:42,240 --> 01:32:44,719
Speaker 2: there that's like we're striving. We want to be known

1838
01:32:45,400 --> 01:32:48,400
Speaker 2: like as openly as possible. That's what feels good is

1839
01:32:48,720 --> 01:32:52,600
Speaker 2: feeling that that connection with people. And I kind of

1840
01:32:52,640 --> 01:32:55,120
Speaker 2: had to just like not make that kind of music

1841
01:32:55,160 --> 01:32:57,920
Speaker 2: for a while. I did some solo stuff, I made

1842
01:32:57,960 --> 01:33:01,160
Speaker 2: music by myself in my house. I don't know, I

1843
01:33:01,200 --> 01:33:03,520
Speaker 2: just I had to get back to a place where eventually,

1844
01:33:03,600 --> 01:33:07,280
Speaker 2: like my heart showed me that it was still I mean,

1845
01:33:07,360 --> 01:33:10,439
Speaker 2: it was what I wanted naturally, I wanted it really bad.

1846
01:33:10,479 --> 01:33:13,479
Speaker 2: By the time we made more music together, and it

1847
01:33:13,520 --> 01:33:15,040
Speaker 2: was just like come over to my house, let's make

1848
01:33:15,080 --> 01:33:16,920
Speaker 2: music at the house, and everybody come over. I don't know,

1849
01:33:17,600 --> 01:33:18,240
Speaker 2: do it however?

1850
01:33:18,880 --> 01:33:22,160
Speaker 1: Make it happen so exist when you start going to therapy.

1851
01:33:23,280 --> 01:33:26,760
Speaker 2: No, I have been to therapy, But I started a long,

1852
01:33:26,880 --> 01:33:29,679
Speaker 2: long time before that. It was definitely before the album,

1853
01:33:29,720 --> 01:33:31,080
Speaker 2: before the first album ever came out.

1854
01:33:31,200 --> 01:33:34,639
Speaker 1: Okay, So before the first album came out, like right before,

1855
01:33:35,040 --> 01:33:36,280
Speaker 1: years before.

1856
01:33:36,800 --> 01:33:40,200
Speaker 2: No, like right before, like like during during that process.

1857
01:33:40,240 --> 01:33:43,080
Speaker 1: Okay, So what stimulated going to therapy?

1858
01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:48,920
Speaker 2: Stuff in my personal life current but also uh just

1859
01:33:49,000 --> 01:33:56,720
Speaker 2: past past trauma, dealing with you know, grief and how

1860
01:33:56,760 --> 01:33:58,599
Speaker 2: that manifests in the present.

1861
01:33:59,640 --> 01:34:02,240
Speaker 1: Well, there good therapist and bad therapist. How do you

1862
01:34:02,280 --> 01:34:03,240
Speaker 1: find a therapist?

1863
01:34:05,280 --> 01:34:05,760
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1864
01:34:06,120 --> 01:34:08,880
Speaker 2: I haven't actually, I haven't been to therapy in a

1865
01:34:08,880 --> 01:34:09,639
Speaker 2: really long time.

1866
01:34:10,640 --> 01:34:12,280
Speaker 1: So did it help you at the time?

1867
01:34:13,040 --> 01:34:16,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did, absolutely. I needed to be fair, I

1868
01:34:16,560 --> 01:34:19,960
Speaker 2: needed a woman to talk you and it just wasn't

1869
01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:20,920
Speaker 2: something I had.

1870
01:34:21,560 --> 01:34:26,640
Speaker 1: Okay, there's a lot of money generated when you have

1871
01:34:26,760 --> 01:34:30,520
Speaker 1: this level of success in music. It all doesn't necessarily

1872
01:34:30,560 --> 01:34:33,040
Speaker 1: come back to the artist, and even the money that

1873
01:34:33,160 --> 01:34:38,360
Speaker 1: comes back to the artist can be very delayed. Lawsuits

1874
01:34:38,600 --> 01:34:44,240
Speaker 1: are very expensive. So how did it work with the money?

1875
01:34:44,640 --> 01:34:46,320
Speaker 1: Did you see the money and say, oh, I want

1876
01:34:46,360 --> 01:34:48,719
Speaker 1: to go out and buy X or did the money

1877
01:34:48,760 --> 01:34:51,760
Speaker 1: never really come through? You know, there's successful acts. I'm

1878
01:34:51,800 --> 01:34:54,599
Speaker 1: both into the spectrum wait.

1879
01:34:54,360 --> 01:34:56,360
Speaker 2: Are you talking about in the beginning, Like how long

1880
01:34:56,360 --> 01:34:57,559
Speaker 2: did it take to see money? No?

1881
01:34:57,920 --> 01:34:58,720
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1882
01:34:58,760 --> 01:35:00,760
Speaker 1: And did you get the money you thought you deserve them?

1883
01:35:00,760 --> 01:35:02,360
Speaker 1: Did you spend it or what'd you do with it?

1884
01:35:02,920 --> 01:35:03,360
Speaker 2: Oh?

1885
01:35:03,400 --> 01:35:04,759
Speaker 3: Well that stuff.

1886
01:35:05,120 --> 01:35:09,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's a long answer. I don't It

1887
01:35:09,240 --> 01:35:11,559
Speaker 2: took a while, yes, to come in for sure. And

1888
01:35:11,600 --> 01:35:14,000
Speaker 2: you always have to chase it. They're not going to

1889
01:35:14,080 --> 01:35:16,280
Speaker 2: just pay you. You're gonna have to audit every time.

1890
01:35:18,320 --> 01:35:20,840
Speaker 2: And you know, when you don't have the money to

1891
01:35:20,920 --> 01:35:24,439
Speaker 2: begin with, you know's that's where artists get taken advantage

1892
01:35:24,479 --> 01:35:29,559
Speaker 2: of so much. Because I feel like Fallen and the

1893
01:35:29,560 --> 01:35:32,439
Speaker 2: success of Fallen gave me the luxury of being able

1894
01:35:32,479 --> 01:35:35,519
Speaker 2: to when I can't get what I want, When I

1895
01:35:35,520 --> 01:35:38,200
Speaker 2: can't get the advance or whatever, I can't get the

1896
01:35:38,280 --> 01:35:39,960
Speaker 2: label to sign on, I'll be like, Okay, fine, I'll

1897
01:35:39,960 --> 01:35:40,639
Speaker 2: spend my own money.

1898
01:35:40,760 --> 01:35:41,519
Speaker 3: I'll do it myself.

1899
01:35:42,160 --> 01:35:45,080
Speaker 2: And I still operate that way when thinks if I

1900
01:35:45,120 --> 01:35:47,360
Speaker 2: need to do something and I want to do something,

1901
01:35:47,360 --> 01:35:51,559
Speaker 2: I just do it I can. That has really been

1902
01:35:51,600 --> 01:35:56,280
Speaker 2: an incredible gift and I but that said, I'm not

1903
01:35:56,360 --> 01:36:00,880
Speaker 2: a person who spends a lot of money on shit

1904
01:36:01,240 --> 01:36:04,439
Speaker 2: for myself and I'm a person that spends money on

1905
01:36:04,600 --> 01:36:08,640
Speaker 2: our band. I really do spend I have always invested

1906
01:36:08,680 --> 01:36:10,719
Speaker 2: back into the thing that made it in the first place.

1907
01:36:11,040 --> 01:36:13,320
Speaker 2: So when we made our second record, I remember we

1908
01:36:13,320 --> 01:36:15,360
Speaker 2: went to the record plant in La and I was like,

1909
01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:18,639
Speaker 2: money's no object. We're staying here and we're gonna write

1910
01:36:18,640 --> 01:36:20,160
Speaker 2: in the studio and we're not going to feel that

1911
01:36:20,200 --> 01:36:22,960
Speaker 2: pressure of time like we did last time. We're gonna

1912
01:36:22,960 --> 01:36:25,519
Speaker 2: make all the choices that feel good and take time

1913
01:36:25,520 --> 01:36:28,240
Speaker 2: to really listen back and just make this great. And

1914
01:36:28,520 --> 01:36:31,880
Speaker 2: that was a great process. I feel like I probably

1915
01:36:31,880 --> 01:36:34,080
Speaker 2: spent more on that album than any of them, just

1916
01:36:34,080 --> 01:36:35,640
Speaker 2: because it's like I was just like learning, like I

1917
01:36:35,640 --> 01:36:36,160
Speaker 2: don't know.

1918
01:36:37,280 --> 01:36:39,160
Speaker 1: Well, how long were you in it? How much did

1919
01:36:39,200 --> 01:36:39,360
Speaker 1: you do?

1920
01:36:39,400 --> 01:36:42,280
Speaker 2: We were in the studio for over a million dollars.

1921
01:36:42,520 --> 01:36:46,640
Speaker 2: We were in the studio for I don't know record plants.

1922
01:36:46,880 --> 01:36:48,760
Speaker 2: I want to say six months. Long time.

1923
01:36:50,439 --> 01:36:51,040
Speaker 3: It was awesome.

1924
01:36:52,720 --> 01:36:56,880
Speaker 1: Okay, you're there that long. The label's not happy if

1925
01:36:57,040 --> 01:37:00,920
Speaker 1: forget them, forget the money. The label only wants another

1926
01:37:01,000 --> 01:37:06,600
Speaker 1: record immediately. Yeah, So you second guessing yourself? Are you saying, no,

1927
01:37:06,840 --> 01:37:09,639
Speaker 1: I know exactly what I'm doing. It's taking the time it's.

1928
01:37:09,479 --> 01:37:13,000
Speaker 2: Taking, I was saying, fuck the man, and I made

1929
01:37:13,000 --> 01:37:14,519
Speaker 2: you that money, so don't tell me what to do.

1930
01:37:14,960 --> 01:37:18,080
Speaker 2: And at the time, I think that whatever they were feeling,

1931
01:37:18,920 --> 01:37:22,800
Speaker 2: they did know that they were gonna make it back

1932
01:37:23,000 --> 01:37:26,800
Speaker 2: just through fallen royalties anyway. So sure they don't like it,

1933
01:37:26,880 --> 01:37:30,519
Speaker 2: but I was definitely that was my rebellious teens moment.

1934
01:37:31,479 --> 01:37:34,120
Speaker 1: And to what degree are you as student of the game.

1935
01:37:34,160 --> 01:37:36,400
Speaker 1: Your first album comes out in two thousand and three,

1936
01:37:36,920 --> 01:37:43,840
Speaker 1: The recording landscape is completely different today. You know, you

1937
01:37:43,880 --> 01:37:46,840
Speaker 1: were like at the tail end of music television, the

1938
01:37:46,920 --> 01:37:51,839
Speaker 1: power of terrestrial rio. Something goes, it goes big. Nothing

1939
01:37:52,439 --> 01:37:57,439
Speaker 1: is that big anymore. Nothing absolutely okay. And in addition,

1940
01:37:57,680 --> 01:38:01,280
Speaker 1: unless you have something a certain track, the odds of

1941
01:38:01,360 --> 01:38:04,920
Speaker 1: making a lot of money streaming or not high. Right,

1942
01:38:05,520 --> 01:38:07,280
Speaker 1: So where do you sit on all this?

1943
01:38:08,160 --> 01:38:10,840
Speaker 2: I just feel like you if you have to open

1944
01:38:10,880 --> 01:38:14,240
Speaker 2: your mind about how you're making your money, Like we

1945
01:38:14,720 --> 01:38:17,600
Speaker 2: just spent you know, a couple hundred thousand dollars on

1946
01:38:17,600 --> 01:38:20,080
Speaker 2: a music video game like that doesn't make money.

1947
01:38:20,439 --> 01:38:21,040
Speaker 3: Used to get.

1948
01:38:20,920 --> 01:38:25,679
Speaker 2: Paid in like like like streams, like every time MTV

1949
01:38:25,720 --> 01:38:27,599
Speaker 2: would play it, you get something it's like radio play.

1950
01:38:28,800 --> 01:38:30,760
Speaker 2: And now you literally just put it up for free

1951
01:38:30,800 --> 01:38:33,960
Speaker 2: on YouTube. You have to recognize that when you when

1952
01:38:34,000 --> 01:38:39,200
Speaker 2: you invest in your band, in your brand, in whatever

1953
01:38:39,240 --> 01:38:42,880
Speaker 2: it is, and show them what it's worth, then it's

1954
01:38:42,920 --> 01:38:45,640
Speaker 2: gonna come. I have found that it comes back to

1955
01:38:45,680 --> 01:38:48,200
Speaker 2: you in other ways, whether it's that whether or not

1956
01:38:48,240 --> 01:38:51,360
Speaker 2: that's you know, a commercial, like a placement somebody wanted,

1957
01:38:51,439 --> 01:38:53,519
Speaker 2: Oh cool, I saw that, that was awesome, Let's use

1958
01:38:53,520 --> 01:38:54,960
Speaker 2: you for this, or come write a song for my

1959
01:38:55,080 --> 01:38:58,720
Speaker 2: this or that, and or most importantly, I would say,

1960
01:38:58,720 --> 01:39:02,559
Speaker 2: is touring, like how you make it this awesome event,

1961
01:39:02,680 --> 01:39:05,559
Speaker 2: this thing that people want to experience. Then you can

1962
01:39:05,600 --> 01:39:08,719
Speaker 2: go play shows you know, and have a big audience

1963
01:39:08,760 --> 01:39:10,840
Speaker 2: and there's plenty of money. It's still to be made

1964
01:39:10,920 --> 01:39:13,400
Speaker 2: on the touring side, for sure, and that takes work,

1965
01:39:13,439 --> 01:39:15,840
Speaker 2: and that takes leaving your family and all of those things.

1966
01:39:15,880 --> 01:39:18,640
Speaker 2: So you definitely have to be willing to put the

1967
01:39:18,680 --> 01:39:21,400
Speaker 2: work in. But I have a great band, and playing

1968
01:39:21,439 --> 01:39:25,639
Speaker 2: live is also really really fun, So I mean knowing

1969
01:39:25,680 --> 01:39:27,080
Speaker 2: that we're gonna go out there and have a good

1970
01:39:27,120 --> 01:39:29,040
Speaker 2: time is different the old cliches.

1971
01:39:29,080 --> 01:39:31,920
Speaker 1: You're on stage one hour day, they're paying you for

1972
01:39:31,960 --> 01:39:33,640
Speaker 1: the other twenty three hours.

1973
01:39:34,040 --> 01:39:35,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta make it fun.

1974
01:39:35,720 --> 01:39:37,200
Speaker 1: I'm kind of I to make it fun.

1975
01:39:38,120 --> 01:39:43,120
Speaker 2: I make it fun like I like, we're gonna go

1976
01:39:43,120 --> 01:39:44,680
Speaker 2: on a booz peruise. I already booked it. Let's go

1977
01:39:44,840 --> 01:39:49,320
Speaker 2: required everybody come, like if we have a day off,

1978
01:39:49,439 --> 01:39:54,479
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna put us, you know, in Paris, not

1979
01:39:54,720 --> 01:39:58,080
Speaker 2: in whatever random talent you can't pronounce, if I can,

1980
01:39:58,200 --> 01:39:58,679
Speaker 2: if I can.

1981
01:39:58,840 --> 01:40:00,000
Speaker 3: You can't always make that happen.

1982
01:40:00,040 --> 01:40:02,599
Speaker 2: Of course, there's boring days, you know what, when we're

1983
01:40:02,600 --> 01:40:05,880
Speaker 2: in the middle of nowhere in Utah, like at a

1984
01:40:07,320 --> 01:40:10,040
Speaker 2: I don't know what hotel name to use, but something

1985
01:40:10,080 --> 01:40:10,840
Speaker 2: not great.

1986
01:40:12,000 --> 01:40:13,280
Speaker 3: We barbecue in the parking lot.

1987
01:40:13,320 --> 01:40:15,200
Speaker 2: We're friends with our crew, like we have a lot

1988
01:40:15,280 --> 01:40:17,360
Speaker 2: of our crew that have been that are our close

1989
01:40:17,400 --> 01:40:19,639
Speaker 2: friends that we've been with for years doing this together.

1990
01:40:19,720 --> 01:40:22,120
Speaker 3: You have to make it your family like.

1991
01:40:22,200 --> 01:40:24,360
Speaker 2: You have to make it fun so that you don't

1992
01:40:24,360 --> 01:40:27,000
Speaker 2: feel like you're just wasting your time twenty three like

1993
01:40:27,040 --> 01:40:28,840
Speaker 2: you said, however, long out of the day you're not

1994
01:40:28,920 --> 01:40:31,560
Speaker 2: actually doing your job. I don't want to live a

1995
01:40:31,600 --> 01:40:33,400
Speaker 2: life where I'm just like sitting in my hotel room

1996
01:40:33,479 --> 01:40:35,680
Speaker 2: not talking to anybody, And would it be better for

1997
01:40:35,760 --> 01:40:38,760
Speaker 2: my voice if I did, yeah, probably, but like what

1998
01:40:38,880 --> 01:40:43,120
Speaker 2: about your soul? You know, so if you're gonna especially

1999
01:40:43,160 --> 01:40:44,519
Speaker 2: if you're going to be in it for the long haul,

2000
01:40:44,920 --> 01:40:48,680
Speaker 2: like surround yourself with people that don't that love you

2001
01:40:48,720 --> 01:40:50,800
Speaker 2: for who you are, not your money, and with people

2002
01:40:50,800 --> 01:40:52,559
Speaker 2: that you want to spend time with and be around

2003
01:40:53,600 --> 01:40:55,920
Speaker 2: and hang out. Like I there are nights when I'd

2004
01:40:55,960 --> 01:40:58,160
Speaker 2: absolutely have to stay in and be good and be quiet,

2005
01:40:58,479 --> 01:41:00,840
Speaker 2: But other nights, I'm I need to hang out for

2006
01:41:00,960 --> 01:41:01,320
Speaker 2: my heart.

2007
01:41:01,720 --> 01:41:03,599
Speaker 3: I think, actually, I think that's really important.

2008
01:41:04,320 --> 01:41:08,639
Speaker 1: Okay, let's say you're in a legendary place Paris, Rome,

2009
01:41:08,760 --> 01:41:14,439
Speaker 1: whether New York in Chicago. Are you someone say I

2010
01:41:14,479 --> 01:41:16,360
Speaker 1: am here. I have to get it out of the

2011
01:41:16,400 --> 01:41:18,760
Speaker 1: hotel room. I have to go to this museum or

2012
01:41:18,760 --> 01:41:20,360
Speaker 1: eat at this restaurant. I mean, I know, if you've

2013
01:41:20,360 --> 01:41:24,760
Speaker 1: been around the world and told me I have seen nothing, Okay,

2014
01:41:25,320 --> 01:41:25,720
Speaker 1: I like it.

2015
01:41:25,800 --> 01:41:26,639
Speaker 3: I like to go see.

2016
01:41:26,920 --> 01:41:29,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like to get out and I I you know,

2017
01:41:30,000 --> 01:41:32,000
Speaker 2: it's not always a big group thing, like I like

2018
01:41:32,080 --> 01:41:36,000
Speaker 2: to just go wander. It's hard to think ahead on

2019
01:41:36,080 --> 01:41:39,920
Speaker 2: stuff like dinner reservations like I like to you know,

2020
01:41:40,000 --> 01:41:44,160
Speaker 2: we get to a place and we've got the afternoon No,

2021
01:41:44,200 --> 01:41:45,679
Speaker 2: I don't want to stay in my hotel room usually

2022
01:41:45,720 --> 01:41:48,479
Speaker 2: the whole time. I'll just go take a walk, I said,

2023
01:41:48,600 --> 01:41:50,200
Speaker 2: I lived in New York for a long time. I'm

2024
01:41:50,200 --> 01:41:53,760
Speaker 2: comfortable of being in a city by myself, with my

2025
01:41:53,800 --> 01:41:59,200
Speaker 2: hair back and the glasses on. But I like to go,

2026
01:41:59,320 --> 01:42:04,000
Speaker 2: like just experience the world, like go go, pretend you

2027
01:42:04,040 --> 01:42:08,240
Speaker 2: live there for a minute. I actually find that really fascinating.

2028
01:42:08,240 --> 01:42:10,840
Speaker 2: I find other languages fascinating and other culture is fascinating.

2029
01:42:10,920 --> 01:42:12,800
Speaker 2: And it's been a real gift to get to travel

2030
01:42:12,840 --> 01:42:15,519
Speaker 2: the world. I honestly, we all feel that way. It's

2031
01:42:16,040 --> 01:42:18,679
Speaker 2: it feels good to get out and see something outside

2032
01:42:18,720 --> 01:42:19,799
Speaker 2: yourself inspiring.

2033
01:42:20,000 --> 01:42:23,720
Speaker 1: Where's the coolest place you've been? Mmm? Ah?

2034
01:42:23,840 --> 01:42:26,040
Speaker 2: Man, picking one place?

2035
01:42:26,120 --> 01:42:27,240
Speaker 1: Oh, you could pick two.

2036
01:42:27,160 --> 01:42:33,960
Speaker 2: That's impossible. I mean I mentioned Paris, but I love Paris.

2037
01:42:34,080 --> 01:42:38,960
Speaker 2: I love London too. Ah, how do I do that?

2038
01:42:39,800 --> 01:42:41,599
Speaker 2: We we've had a lot of fun in South America.

2039
01:42:42,200 --> 01:42:45,040
Speaker 1: Well, I was gonna say, for me, if they don't

2040
01:42:45,080 --> 01:42:48,679
Speaker 1: speak English, the more exotic, Like I went to Bogata, Man,

2041
01:42:48,720 --> 01:42:49,559
Speaker 1: it was so vivid.

2042
01:42:50,800 --> 01:42:54,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, we went. We went like ziplining in Costa Rica

2043
01:42:54,040 --> 01:42:56,080
Speaker 2: one time. I'll never forget. That was so fun.

2044
01:42:56,320 --> 01:42:59,719
Speaker 3: It was so high up, like way above the trees.

2045
01:43:00,320 --> 01:43:03,280
Speaker 2: And speaking of Beth, she scared heights and she didn't

2046
01:43:03,280 --> 01:43:04,720
Speaker 2: really realize what we were doing until we were up

2047
01:43:04,720 --> 01:43:06,160
Speaker 2: there and there was no way down but zip lanning.

2048
01:43:06,200 --> 01:43:11,880
Speaker 2: She was discarded for life, like it's completely terrified. I

2049
01:43:11,920 --> 01:43:13,760
Speaker 2: was loving it, but also feeling sorry for her.

2050
01:43:14,560 --> 01:43:18,839
Speaker 1: Okay, you're in a band, you give it all on stage,

2051
01:43:18,960 --> 01:43:21,240
Speaker 1: there's all this love that comes. Then you're with the

2052
01:43:21,240 --> 01:43:24,760
Speaker 1: same people you've known for years. It's very hard to

2053
01:43:24,880 --> 01:43:28,720
Speaker 1: calm down. How do you deal with sleep when you're

2054
01:43:28,760 --> 01:43:29,800
Speaker 1: on the road.

2055
01:43:31,479 --> 01:43:36,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's hard. Sleep is definitely one of the top

2056
01:43:36,800 --> 01:43:40,080
Speaker 2: two most important ingredients for having a good voice the

2057
01:43:40,120 --> 01:43:43,080
Speaker 2: next day. I know that's going to sound like an

2058
01:43:43,080 --> 01:43:46,200
Speaker 2: old lady thing to say, but taking magnesium before bed

2059
01:43:46,320 --> 01:43:48,760
Speaker 2: is actually really helpful. I only discovered that in like

2060
01:43:48,800 --> 01:43:51,240
Speaker 2: the past five years, and it's it really does something

2061
01:43:51,240 --> 01:43:55,479
Speaker 2: for me. I don't have a big answer. It is hard.

2062
01:43:56,280 --> 01:43:59,320
Speaker 1: You said, it's a problem. We're in this timeline. Do

2063
01:43:59,360 --> 01:44:02,519
Speaker 1: you meet your husban, Well, that's funny.

2064
01:44:02,960 --> 01:44:07,760
Speaker 2: A long time ago. I met him around that time,

2065
01:44:07,960 --> 01:44:11,120
Speaker 2: like when we were either I don't know if we

2066
01:44:11,120 --> 01:44:13,280
Speaker 2: were signed yet and working on it or we were

2067
01:44:13,720 --> 01:44:19,720
Speaker 2: about to be in Arkansas, where I'm not really from there.

2068
01:44:19,760 --> 01:44:21,960
Speaker 2: We moved around a lot as a family, like my

2069
01:44:22,040 --> 01:44:23,840
Speaker 2: dad's radio job took us all over the place. But

2070
01:44:24,080 --> 01:44:27,120
Speaker 2: we moved to Arkansas when I was thirteen, and Josh's

2071
01:44:28,000 --> 01:44:30,240
Speaker 2: dad was like a superintendent at the school and they

2072
01:44:30,280 --> 01:44:33,759
Speaker 2: moved around all the time too. So for this one

2073
01:44:33,920 --> 01:44:35,680
Speaker 2: period in both of our lives, we were in the

2074
01:44:35,680 --> 01:44:38,400
Speaker 2: same town at the same place, I mean the same

2075
01:44:38,479 --> 01:44:43,960
Speaker 2: town at the same time, and we met through a friend.

2076
01:44:44,040 --> 01:44:46,240
Speaker 2: Like the friend was actually in the band at the time,

2077
01:44:46,560 --> 01:44:50,400
Speaker 2: and it was his like college buddy, and it was

2078
01:44:50,439 --> 01:44:51,680
Speaker 2: just one of those things where we didn't know each

2079
01:44:51,680 --> 01:44:56,559
Speaker 2: other well, but I liked him and the timing wasn't

2080
01:44:56,640 --> 01:45:00,599
Speaker 2: right and actually browed me to life about him. It's

2081
01:45:00,640 --> 01:45:02,599
Speaker 2: pretty storied. I don't know how much longer we have.

2082
01:45:02,880 --> 01:45:04,559
Speaker 1: We got enough time to tell just a couple of

2083
01:45:04,560 --> 01:45:08,040
Speaker 1: these stories. But okay, you meet him at this you know,

2084
01:45:08,080 --> 01:45:10,840
Speaker 1: when the stars aligned and you meet him, but then

2085
01:45:10,880 --> 01:45:12,800
Speaker 1: you both go your separate ways. How does it end

2086
01:45:12,880 --> 01:45:13,959
Speaker 1: up becoming a romance?

2087
01:45:14,600 --> 01:45:20,040
Speaker 2: He pursued me and I, well, I should say this

2088
01:45:20,200 --> 01:45:26,559
Speaker 2: part like when we were first hanging out, like it

2089
01:45:26,640 --> 01:45:28,000
Speaker 2: was one of those things where he came around and

2090
01:45:28,000 --> 01:45:29,519
Speaker 2: then he'd be gone for a year because he was

2091
01:45:29,520 --> 01:45:31,880
Speaker 2: in college somewhere else, and he came back and I'd say, oh, yeah, hey,

2092
01:45:31,920 --> 01:45:32,439
Speaker 2: I remember you.

2093
01:45:32,479 --> 01:45:35,559
Speaker 3: Cool, he'd be gone for a while, and when we.

2094
01:45:36,960 --> 01:45:40,920
Speaker 2: One of those times, it just I was in an

2095
01:45:40,920 --> 01:45:45,240
Speaker 2: abusive relationship and it wasn't anything that I talked about

2096
01:45:45,240 --> 01:45:48,960
Speaker 2: with anybody on earth. It was absolutely my private thing.

2097
01:45:49,800 --> 01:45:54,519
Speaker 2: And we went to go grab a table at a

2098
01:45:54,560 --> 01:45:58,760
Speaker 2: restaurant while the other guys parked the car, and he

2099
01:45:59,160 --> 01:46:00,960
Speaker 2: we really didn't know each other very well, and he

2100
01:46:01,080 --> 01:46:03,000
Speaker 2: just looked at me and the eyes across the table

2101
01:46:03,000 --> 01:46:07,479
Speaker 2: and was like, so are you happy? And it just

2102
01:46:07,720 --> 01:46:10,240
Speaker 2: sent this like shock wave down into my heart and

2103
01:46:10,280 --> 01:46:12,680
Speaker 2: my heart started beating fast, and I just felt like

2104
01:46:12,960 --> 01:46:14,960
Speaker 2: he knew something.

2105
01:46:15,040 --> 01:46:16,479
Speaker 3: And I don't think he really did.

2106
01:46:16,520 --> 01:46:18,640
Speaker 2: I think he was just being nice and he was

2107
01:46:18,800 --> 01:46:21,680
Speaker 2: you know, he's a mental health counselor, so he's just

2108
01:46:21,800 --> 01:46:25,200
Speaker 2: talking to me, but I don't know. I just sort

2109
01:46:25,240 --> 01:46:27,200
Speaker 2: of malfunctioned it didn't give him a great answer, and

2110
01:46:27,479 --> 01:46:29,760
Speaker 2: stalled until people came in. But it stuck with me,

2111
01:46:30,960 --> 01:46:32,920
Speaker 2: and it made me kind of realize my own feelings

2112
01:46:32,960 --> 01:46:37,240
Speaker 2: about how I wasn't and then I just started writing

2113
01:46:37,840 --> 01:46:39,519
Speaker 2: the beginning of every Redy to Life, how can you

2114
01:46:39,600 --> 01:46:41,720
Speaker 2: see into my eyes? Like open doors like and all

2115
01:46:41,760 --> 01:46:44,760
Speaker 2: of that, and then he was gone again. You know.

2116
01:46:45,000 --> 01:46:46,519
Speaker 3: It was just like this person in the back of

2117
01:46:46,520 --> 01:46:47,679
Speaker 3: my mind and he was in another.

2118
01:46:47,520 --> 01:46:51,320
Speaker 2: Relationship and I was in a relationship, and yeah, he

2119
01:46:51,400 --> 01:46:54,800
Speaker 2: just he just kept calling me, like a year later, like.

2120
01:46:55,439 --> 01:46:56,160
Speaker 3: Hey, I'm in town.

2121
01:46:56,240 --> 01:46:58,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, how did this guy get my number? Like

2122
01:46:58,160 --> 01:47:00,960
Speaker 2: I didn't even save your number, Like, please don't call

2123
01:47:01,000 --> 01:47:03,439
Speaker 2: me because I knew I liked him. And it was

2124
01:47:03,479 --> 01:47:05,200
Speaker 2: always like I'm not gonna I don't I don't have

2125
01:47:05,280 --> 01:47:07,320
Speaker 2: an energy for this. I can't deal with this person,

2126
01:47:07,439 --> 01:47:09,360
Speaker 2: like I don't I don't want to see you because

2127
01:47:09,360 --> 01:47:09,800
Speaker 2: I like you.

2128
01:47:10,960 --> 01:47:12,680
Speaker 3: And he's like, hey, I'm leaving town. You know, we're

2129
01:47:12,680 --> 01:47:13,320
Speaker 3: gonna see.

2130
01:47:13,120 --> 01:47:15,519
Speaker 2: Me, and we hooked up and it was just forever.

2131
01:47:15,640 --> 01:47:18,920
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, fine, just finally gave in. But

2132
01:47:19,240 --> 01:47:22,560
Speaker 2: like before all that, like I remember telling him and

2133
01:47:22,680 --> 01:47:25,559
Speaker 2: like a mic drop ridiculous, very juvenile kind of way

2134
01:47:25,560 --> 01:47:26,840
Speaker 2: that I wrote Bring Me to Life about him, right

2135
01:47:26,800 --> 01:47:29,439
Speaker 2: before it came out, was like we were going it

2136
01:47:29,439 --> 01:47:32,160
Speaker 2: was during that pre pro time in La and we

2137
01:47:32,160 --> 01:47:34,320
Speaker 2: were going to go pick up like taco bell or

2138
01:47:34,360 --> 01:47:37,719
Speaker 2: something for everybody, Baha Fresh probably, and we come back

2139
01:47:38,320 --> 01:47:40,519
Speaker 2: and it was like okay, thanks bye, you know, when

2140
01:47:40,520 --> 01:47:42,479
Speaker 2: he was leaving town again, and I grabbed the stuff

2141
01:47:43,600 --> 01:47:47,240
Speaker 2: and like I was halfway out the door and I

2142
01:47:47,320 --> 01:47:49,120
Speaker 2: just dropped it on him. I was like, hey, listen,

2143
01:47:49,240 --> 01:47:50,760
Speaker 2: because Bring Me Life was going to be the single,

2144
01:47:50,920 --> 01:47:52,559
Speaker 2: was the one that all the focus from the label

2145
01:47:52,560 --> 01:47:53,920
Speaker 2: and everything we were doing was all about bring Me

2146
01:47:53,960 --> 01:47:57,240
Speaker 2: to Life. And I was like, listen, I just I

2147
01:47:57,280 --> 01:47:59,439
Speaker 2: just feel like I should tell you, like I just

2148
01:47:59,479 --> 01:48:02,640
Speaker 2: wanted you to know I wrote me to I mean,

2149
01:48:02,640 --> 01:48:04,960
Speaker 2: like I don't feel this way now, but I did

2150
01:48:04,960 --> 01:48:06,439
Speaker 2: write bring Me to Life about that one time in

2151
01:48:06,479 --> 01:48:09,160
Speaker 2: the restaurant when you asked me if I was happy,

2152
01:48:09,680 --> 01:48:11,720
Speaker 2: and I just want you to know that. But I

2153
01:48:11,720 --> 01:48:13,639
Speaker 2: got out of the car and closed the door before

2154
01:48:13,680 --> 01:48:16,160
Speaker 2: he could say anything, and I was reversy in his

2155
01:48:16,240 --> 01:48:20,960
Speaker 2: face in the window, like like looking like searching for

2156
01:48:21,000 --> 01:48:23,360
Speaker 2: words to say something, and couldn't think of anything to say.

2157
01:48:23,720 --> 01:48:25,280
Speaker 2: And then time went by again and I didn't see

2158
01:48:25,360 --> 01:48:28,400
Speaker 2: him for like another six months or something. This is

2159
01:48:28,600 --> 01:48:31,680
Speaker 2: really weird and then finally he called me and it

2160
01:48:31,720 --> 01:48:33,360
Speaker 2: was just like like I told you before, Like the

2161
01:48:33,360 --> 01:48:36,479
Speaker 2: timing was finally like, okay, I give in. So we've

2162
01:48:36,479 --> 01:48:41,040
Speaker 2: been married for eighteen years.

2163
01:48:45,600 --> 01:48:49,680
Speaker 1: Okay. When he then called you, you have some success

2164
01:48:50,400 --> 01:48:55,479
Speaker 1: at that point, right, So at what point does it

2165
01:48:55,520 --> 01:48:57,519
Speaker 1: become a one on one thing and what point do

2166
01:48:57,560 --> 01:48:58,200
Speaker 1: you get married?

2167
01:49:00,240 --> 01:49:02,000
Speaker 2: It was a one on one thing. As soon as

2168
01:49:02,040 --> 01:49:06,120
Speaker 2: I saw him that time. He reached out like it

2169
01:49:06,200 --> 01:49:08,519
Speaker 2: was right at the end of like another relationship, and

2170
01:49:08,560 --> 01:49:11,599
Speaker 2: I was still just like I was still in the

2171
01:49:11,640 --> 01:49:13,320
Speaker 2: sadness of the breakup. That's why I was like, oh,

2172
01:49:13,320 --> 01:49:14,040
Speaker 2: I'm not ready for this.

2173
01:49:14,720 --> 01:49:15,559
Speaker 3: But you know, we.

2174
01:49:15,520 --> 01:49:17,639
Speaker 2: Saw each other and it was literally like that night,

2175
01:49:17,800 --> 01:49:20,000
Speaker 2: it was like, dude, I'd like you a lot. I

2176
01:49:20,040 --> 01:49:24,840
Speaker 2: don't know. It was kind of instant, but it was

2177
01:49:24,880 --> 01:49:27,439
Speaker 2: different because like with him, it was never like that

2178
01:49:27,479 --> 01:49:33,120
Speaker 2: about the famous part that wasn't yeah, yeah, exactly.

2179
01:49:33,520 --> 01:49:38,320
Speaker 1: Okay, but you say, now you're going and disappearing for

2180
01:49:38,360 --> 01:49:44,560
Speaker 1: all this time. Yeah, so how does does it sustain

2181
01:49:45,320 --> 01:49:48,880
Speaker 1: and then continue and then lead to marriage.

2182
01:49:49,120 --> 01:49:52,560
Speaker 2: Well, when we got together, that's when I moved to

2183
01:49:52,600 --> 01:49:55,439
Speaker 2: New York. He was in New York and we were

2184
01:49:55,439 --> 01:49:57,559
Speaker 2: talking about how we could be around each other.

2185
01:49:57,439 --> 01:50:00,519
Speaker 1: And move to New York because he was New York.

2186
01:50:00,920 --> 01:50:03,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, and I did. So that was that was

2187
01:50:03,760 --> 01:50:08,439
Speaker 2: after falling. But at this point, it was when I

2188
01:50:08,479 --> 01:50:13,760
Speaker 2: was writing for the Open Door and he was like,

2189
01:50:13,960 --> 01:50:15,680
Speaker 2: you know, I'll come to La I can move there.

2190
01:50:15,680 --> 01:50:17,320
Speaker 2: I I'll do it, you know whatever. And I was like,

2191
01:50:17,320 --> 01:50:19,120
Speaker 2: please don't. I don't want to be here. I'm tired

2192
01:50:19,160 --> 01:50:23,080
Speaker 2: of this down I had visited him before. I was like,

2193
01:50:23,120 --> 01:50:25,800
Speaker 2: I'd rather come to you. Like everything that I'm doing

2194
01:50:25,840 --> 01:50:27,840
Speaker 2: I can probably do from anywhere. Like, I don't have

2195
01:50:27,920 --> 01:50:29,960
Speaker 2: to be here. I was here before, you know, because

2196
01:50:29,960 --> 01:50:31,680
Speaker 2: we were trying to make it, but we made it now,

2197
01:50:31,800 --> 01:50:33,880
Speaker 2: Like I think I can probably live wherever I want.

2198
01:50:35,080 --> 01:50:38,320
Speaker 2: So I moved to New York and really fell in

2199
01:50:38,320 --> 01:50:40,439
Speaker 2: love with New York. You know I was. I was

2200
01:50:40,439 --> 01:50:42,280
Speaker 2: falling in love with him. It was kind of all

2201
01:50:42,280 --> 01:50:43,559
Speaker 2: wrapped up. I miss it very much.

2202
01:50:44,640 --> 01:50:47,520
Speaker 1: Okay, what does he do all day?

2203
01:50:48,120 --> 01:50:49,680
Speaker 2: Well, at this point, he spends most of his time

2204
01:50:49,760 --> 01:50:52,280
Speaker 2: making it, making this possible, and taking care of her baby.

2205
01:50:53,040 --> 01:50:59,759
Speaker 1: Okay, so how long after that moment when you say

2206
01:50:59,760 --> 01:51:02,439
Speaker 1: that leave the car do you get married?

2207
01:51:04,640 --> 01:51:06,000
Speaker 3: We dated for a year and a half.

2208
01:51:06,640 --> 01:51:10,040
Speaker 2: Okay, so we got married in seven relatively soon.

2209
01:51:10,439 --> 01:51:12,719
Speaker 1: How did you decide to have a child, or maybe

2210
01:51:12,720 --> 01:51:13,479
Speaker 1: you didn't decide.

2211
01:51:14,600 --> 01:51:17,839
Speaker 2: We always knew that we wanted that, but we actually

2212
01:51:18,360 --> 01:51:21,040
Speaker 2: we waited. So we hung out and had a nice

2213
01:51:21,040 --> 01:51:22,839
Speaker 2: time for seven years before going there.

2214
01:51:24,479 --> 01:51:25,160
Speaker 3: And it was fun.

2215
01:51:25,200 --> 01:51:29,160
Speaker 2: But like we all, we always knew that we wanted

2216
01:51:29,360 --> 01:51:31,280
Speaker 2: a child if that was going to be possible for us,

2217
01:51:31,280 --> 01:51:35,000
Speaker 2: and there was nothing but excitement and happiness when that

2218
01:51:35,040 --> 01:51:38,200
Speaker 2: finally happened. We waited for a while though, we were like,

2219
01:51:38,560 --> 01:51:41,320
Speaker 2: come on, let's go, let's be kids before we have

2220
01:51:41,360 --> 01:51:41,679
Speaker 2: the kid.

2221
01:51:42,720 --> 01:51:46,560
Speaker 1: Let's go back to Arkansas. I grew up in the northeast.

2222
01:51:46,600 --> 01:51:51,599
Speaker 1: We're very judgmental Arkansas in our minds. Ultimately, Bill Clinton

2223
01:51:51,680 --> 01:51:54,639
Speaker 1: came from Arkansas. But explain Arkansas to me.

2224
01:51:55,720 --> 01:52:00,960
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I before Arkansas, I was, uh, we

2225
01:52:00,960 --> 01:52:07,800
Speaker 2: were living in Rockford, Illinois, and I was, yeah it

2226
01:52:07,840 --> 01:52:13,759
Speaker 2: was I thought Rockford was cool and I was just yeah, exactly,

2227
01:52:14,479 --> 01:52:14,960
Speaker 2: and I was.

2228
01:52:15,040 --> 01:52:16,720
Speaker 3: And my dad worked at the cool station that year,

2229
01:52:16,920 --> 01:52:17,880
Speaker 3: like he was at.

2230
01:52:17,760 --> 01:52:22,280
Speaker 2: Like, uh, the pop rock actually playing Cats in the

2231
01:52:22,280 --> 01:52:25,240
Speaker 2: Cradle and stuff like that. Really funny like talking point later,

2232
01:52:26,320 --> 01:52:29,800
Speaker 2: but moving to Arkansas was like devastating to me, Like

2233
01:52:29,920 --> 01:52:34,799
Speaker 2: I absolutely hated the idea was so cringe, and also

2234
01:52:34,880 --> 01:52:36,880
Speaker 2: I didn't know anybody. Just like happing to start over

2235
01:52:36,960 --> 01:52:40,320
Speaker 2: when you're kind of starting to become a teenager is the.

2236
01:52:40,240 --> 01:52:43,400
Speaker 3: Most horrible, just horrible feeling. I did not want to go.

2237
01:52:44,320 --> 01:52:47,040
Speaker 2: So yes, I I tend to agree with your feeling

2238
01:52:47,120 --> 01:52:50,240
Speaker 2: on that going into it, But I mean that as

2239
01:52:50,360 --> 01:52:52,400
Speaker 2: kind of paid off because there was nothing to do

2240
01:52:53,280 --> 01:52:55,479
Speaker 2: and I didn't have any friends at first, you know,

2241
01:52:55,600 --> 01:52:58,160
Speaker 2: and I was just like the new weird kid and

2242
01:52:58,479 --> 01:53:03,320
Speaker 2: like you know, thirty, so felt like everything about myself

2243
01:53:03,360 --> 01:53:07,679
Speaker 2: was stupid and awkward and embarrassing. And I just leaned

2244
01:53:07,720 --> 01:53:12,840
Speaker 2: way into like the poetry and the music, and you know,

2245
01:53:13,040 --> 01:53:17,479
Speaker 2: found my awesome piano teacher, Missus Twombly and choir, got

2246
01:53:17,560 --> 01:53:20,559
Speaker 2: really really into choir and not art nerds and stuff.

2247
01:53:20,600 --> 01:53:23,960
Speaker 2: So yeah, being an Arkansas meant that you have to

2248
01:53:24,040 --> 01:53:26,519
Speaker 2: make your own fun and starting a band and all

2249
01:53:26,560 --> 01:53:28,680
Speaker 2: that stuff. It all really came out of Like it

2250
01:53:28,720 --> 01:53:30,599
Speaker 2: wasn't like there was so much stuff to do.

2251
01:53:30,960 --> 01:53:36,240
Speaker 1: Okay, you've lived in New York. Time keeps marching on

2252
01:53:36,280 --> 01:53:38,479
Speaker 1: the internet, cable TV, every It's not the same like

2253
01:53:38,520 --> 01:53:42,439
Speaker 1: it used to be. But give me your take on Arkansas.

2254
01:53:42,960 --> 01:53:46,639
Speaker 2: Well, I love going back there now to visit my parents.

2255
01:53:46,680 --> 01:53:49,200
Speaker 2: They settled there and they'd live kind of in the

2256
01:53:49,200 --> 01:53:54,040
Speaker 2: woods and it's really peaceful. And you know, obviously by

2257
01:53:54,080 --> 01:53:55,599
Speaker 2: now too, I have so many memories there.

2258
01:53:56,280 --> 01:53:58,599
Speaker 1: Okay, how do you decide to move from New York

2259
01:53:58,640 --> 01:53:59,440
Speaker 1: to Nashville.

2260
01:54:01,600 --> 01:54:06,559
Speaker 2: Well, after my brother passed away, my family, so to

2261
01:54:06,680 --> 01:54:12,200
Speaker 2: drive there from here is like five hours. And actually

2262
01:54:12,920 --> 01:54:15,000
Speaker 2: it's just one of those things, like I love New

2263
01:54:15,080 --> 01:54:16,240
Speaker 2: York so much, like just.

2264
01:54:17,680 --> 01:54:19,160
Speaker 3: It's hard to sum.

2265
01:54:19,040 --> 01:54:21,400
Speaker 1: Up, but it's a hard place to live.

2266
01:54:22,960 --> 01:54:23,559
Speaker 3: It can be.

2267
01:54:24,000 --> 01:54:27,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, some days it kicks your ass, but there's

2268
01:54:27,400 --> 01:54:32,560
Speaker 2: always something going on, Like there's inspiration everywhere. And I

2269
01:54:32,640 --> 01:54:37,120
Speaker 2: never felt lonely, Like it's hard to explain. And I

2270
01:54:37,160 --> 01:54:41,280
Speaker 2: also having grown up like being in Arkansas, Like as

2271
01:54:41,280 --> 01:54:43,600
Speaker 2: a teenager, I always felt weird. I always felt like

2272
01:54:43,600 --> 01:54:46,200
Speaker 2: the weird one. You don't feel like that in New York.

2273
01:54:46,360 --> 01:54:48,400
Speaker 2: I never felt like that. I always felt like I

2274
01:54:48,480 --> 01:54:51,200
Speaker 2: was exactly in just a world with a whole lot

2275
01:54:51,240 --> 01:54:55,320
Speaker 2: of other people, and everybody was different, and nobody was

2276
01:54:55,360 --> 01:54:59,640
Speaker 2: looking at me for wearing weird. Giant fuzzy shoes or

2277
01:54:59,680 --> 01:55:04,640
Speaker 2: whatever stupid thing having black hair. So I felt like

2278
01:55:04,720 --> 01:55:06,480
Speaker 2: a real sense of belonging to New York, like I

2279
01:55:06,480 --> 01:55:07,520
Speaker 2: didn't feel anywhere else.

2280
01:55:07,880 --> 01:55:10,440
Speaker 3: But after my brother passed away.

2281
01:55:10,360 --> 01:55:14,000
Speaker 2: It was like all that magic, all the inspiration and

2282
01:55:14,040 --> 01:55:15,520
Speaker 2: all those things about New York that I loved so

2283
01:55:15,600 --> 01:55:19,280
Speaker 2: much just didn't seem as important as being together with

2284
01:55:19,320 --> 01:55:22,520
Speaker 2: my family and being close to them. Just felt like

2285
01:55:22,640 --> 01:55:26,120
Speaker 2: time was passing and was precious and going home, you know,

2286
01:55:26,160 --> 01:55:28,360
Speaker 2: to Arkansas from New York is it's a hassle. You're

2287
01:55:28,360 --> 01:55:30,440
Speaker 2: taking two flights. You know, you stay for your chunk

2288
01:55:30,440 --> 01:55:31,880
Speaker 2: of time and then you go home. It's not kind

2289
01:55:31,880 --> 01:55:34,280
Speaker 2: of like you can pop over anytime. And I guess

2290
01:55:34,280 --> 01:55:35,880
Speaker 2: it's not really like that here either, but it is

2291
01:55:35,920 --> 01:55:37,800
Speaker 2: more like we could just get in the car. So

2292
01:55:38,720 --> 01:55:40,560
Speaker 2: I just I was just done. I just I just

2293
01:55:40,600 --> 01:55:42,480
Speaker 2: wanted to be close to my family really bad right then.

2294
01:55:42,800 --> 01:55:45,160
Speaker 2: That was the real reason. And also, you know, we

2295
01:55:45,200 --> 01:55:48,680
Speaker 2: found a place here where the studio like is in

2296
01:55:48,760 --> 01:55:51,400
Speaker 2: the it's separated from the house, like it's in the back,

2297
01:55:51,480 --> 01:55:53,040
Speaker 2: like it's like the pool house or whatever.

2298
01:55:53,520 --> 01:55:54,240
Speaker 3: And in New.

2299
01:55:54,160 --> 01:55:56,960
Speaker 2: York once, you know, when it was just us, it

2300
01:55:57,040 --> 01:55:59,600
Speaker 2: was one thing, but once there's like a baby sleeping,

2301
01:56:00,120 --> 01:56:02,600
Speaker 2: I can't like sing late at night and do my

2302
01:56:02,760 --> 01:56:05,080
Speaker 2: thing like I really need to and feel like nobody

2303
01:56:05,080 --> 01:56:06,640
Speaker 2: can hear me or it doesn't matter.

2304
01:56:07,960 --> 01:56:09,240
Speaker 3: It was it was harder.

2305
01:56:09,640 --> 01:56:11,520
Speaker 2: So the idea of moving to a place where I

2306
01:56:11,560 --> 01:56:14,480
Speaker 2: could have my like studio structure and scream at the

2307
01:56:14,480 --> 01:56:15,920
Speaker 2: top of my lungs at three in the morning and

2308
01:56:16,280 --> 01:56:18,760
Speaker 2: sound like shit and not feel like anybody's judging me

2309
01:56:18,880 --> 01:56:22,240
Speaker 2: or anything, I just completely alone. Was It really has

2310
01:56:22,360 --> 01:56:26,800
Speaker 2: been an incredible thing to feel the space here. So

2311
01:56:27,280 --> 01:56:28,840
Speaker 2: both of those reasons, mainly I want to be close

2312
01:56:28,840 --> 01:56:31,800
Speaker 2: to family, but also it's cool to have a space

2313
01:56:31,920 --> 01:56:35,320
Speaker 2: like this. And it was lucky too because pandemic hit

2314
01:56:35,400 --> 01:56:36,240
Speaker 2: right after we moved.

2315
01:56:36,960 --> 01:56:40,960
Speaker 1: Nashville is not the only place closed to little rock

2316
01:56:41,280 --> 01:56:44,360
Speaker 1: and Nasha is a big music city, that's.

2317
01:56:44,200 --> 01:56:48,480
Speaker 2: Right, yes, And we actually we've been rehearsing here. We've

2318
01:56:48,920 --> 01:56:51,640
Speaker 2: we've rehearded. This has been our spot to get together

2319
01:56:51,720 --> 01:56:55,520
Speaker 2: and work and record and rehearse for a long time.

2320
01:56:55,560 --> 01:56:58,280
Speaker 2: And we're spread out all over the country at this point.

2321
01:56:58,280 --> 01:57:01,720
Speaker 2: I've got one in California, to in Florida, one in Atlanta,

2322
01:57:02,360 --> 01:57:04,840
Speaker 2: and now I'm here, so our stuff's here.

2323
01:57:05,200 --> 01:57:05,920
Speaker 3: I run down to.

2324
01:57:06,200 --> 01:57:08,919
Speaker 2: Our rehearsal space all the time and like grab a keyboard,

2325
01:57:09,200 --> 01:57:11,160
Speaker 2: come back here and go, Like I get to leave

2326
01:57:11,160 --> 01:57:12,080
Speaker 2: two days later for tour.

2327
01:57:12,120 --> 01:57:15,960
Speaker 1: It's the best, Okay, But Nashville used to be country

2328
01:57:16,000 --> 01:57:20,440
Speaker 1: people twenty years ago, people in La studio, musicians, other people.

2329
01:57:20,480 --> 01:57:21,760
Speaker 1: They all moved to Nashville.

2330
01:57:21,880 --> 01:57:26,680
Speaker 4: Then everybody moved to Nashville. So now are you Amy

2331
01:57:26,760 --> 01:57:30,160
Speaker 4: Lee in your house and it's Nashville. It could be Knoxville,

2332
01:57:30,320 --> 01:57:34,960
Speaker 4: it could be you know, Chattanooga, or are you intersecting.

2333
01:57:34,320 --> 01:57:35,920
Speaker 1: With what's going on in Nashville.

2334
01:57:37,040 --> 01:57:39,640
Speaker 2: Uh? Well, I have a lot of friends here, like

2335
01:57:39,640 --> 01:57:42,600
Speaker 2: like more than half of our Brooklyn community moved here

2336
01:57:42,640 --> 01:57:45,000
Speaker 2: before we did, Like we were some of those music once.

2337
01:57:45,240 --> 01:57:48,920
Speaker 2: We're not music people, ah friends, Yeah, most of them

2338
01:57:48,960 --> 01:57:51,760
Speaker 2: are music people. We've got some really close I don't

2339
01:57:51,800 --> 01:57:54,600
Speaker 2: know if you know their bands. We have some close

2340
01:57:54,600 --> 01:57:57,880
Speaker 2: friends that are the Lone Bellow. They're really good Zach Williams,

2341
01:57:57,920 --> 01:58:00,880
Speaker 2: and we've been friends with them forever. They were one

2342
01:58:00,920 --> 01:58:04,360
Speaker 2: of like our close family friends. We've got another music

2343
01:58:04,400 --> 01:58:07,520
Speaker 2: industry family friends that were very close with that moved

2344
01:58:07,520 --> 01:58:11,480
Speaker 2: here first. So and Beth live's here also, so it's

2345
01:58:11,520 --> 01:58:13,760
Speaker 2: like we already have like a community of friends there.

2346
01:58:13,880 --> 01:58:15,440
Speaker 2: That was the other thing that made it safe. Yeah,

2347
01:58:15,440 --> 01:58:17,160
Speaker 2: we didn't just pick a random town. It was kind

2348
01:58:17,200 --> 01:58:19,480
Speaker 2: of what was given to us. Like, look, this is

2349
01:58:19,480 --> 01:58:22,080
Speaker 2: where your people are. Just go be with your people,

2350
01:58:22,200 --> 01:58:25,000
Speaker 2: because that's really the truth. Home is where your heart is, Like,

2351
01:58:25,120 --> 01:58:26,080
Speaker 2: that's where your family is.

2352
01:58:26,600 --> 01:58:31,400
Speaker 1: Uh okay, pulling back as we said earlier, the landscape

2353
01:58:31,480 --> 01:58:35,040
Speaker 1: is changed. You can shoot somebody in the morning, it's

2354
01:58:35,080 --> 01:58:38,520
Speaker 1: not in the news the next day. Do you say

2355
01:58:38,800 --> 01:58:42,200
Speaker 1: I'm an artist, I just create and do what I want.

2356
01:58:42,680 --> 01:58:46,240
Speaker 1: Or are you psychologically managing your career all the time?

2357
01:58:46,600 --> 01:58:48,960
Speaker 1: Are you saying, well, you know, I haven't been in

2358
01:58:49,000 --> 01:58:51,680
Speaker 1: the public sphere, or I need to come back. They're

2359
01:58:51,680 --> 01:58:55,080
Speaker 1: going to forget me. What's your attitude about the whole thing.

2360
01:58:56,680 --> 01:58:58,720
Speaker 2: I don't think about that side of it too much,

2361
01:58:58,960 --> 01:59:01,120
Speaker 2: Like what do I want want to present? What I

2362
01:59:01,160 --> 01:59:03,200
Speaker 2: want to project? As far as like staying in it

2363
01:59:03,240 --> 01:59:05,160
Speaker 2: and striking while all the iron so hot, I've kind

2364
01:59:05,160 --> 01:59:07,000
Speaker 2: of broken all those rules enough to where I don't

2365
01:59:07,000 --> 01:59:10,400
Speaker 2: care about it anymore. I have found in my own

2366
01:59:10,480 --> 01:59:14,360
Speaker 2: experience that I can disappear for a few years and

2367
01:59:14,440 --> 01:59:17,240
Speaker 2: come back when I have something great to say and

2368
01:59:18,360 --> 01:59:20,600
Speaker 2: if the music's good enough that people will show up

2369
01:59:20,640 --> 01:59:23,680
Speaker 2: for it. We have really cool fans and they a

2370
01:59:23,760 --> 01:59:27,040
Speaker 2: lot of them have really just been around. And I

2371
01:59:27,040 --> 01:59:30,760
Speaker 2: will say too, like artists that I love and I

2372
01:59:30,880 --> 01:59:33,160
Speaker 2: have been really inspired by my life, a lot of

2373
01:59:33,200 --> 01:59:35,800
Speaker 2: them do that. They don't put out an album every

2374
01:59:35,880 --> 01:59:39,400
Speaker 2: year like one of my top bands, as Porta said,

2375
01:59:39,880 --> 01:59:42,040
Speaker 2: they have only made a handful of albums and each

2376
01:59:42,040 --> 01:59:44,680
Speaker 2: one is so good and special to me and worth

2377
01:59:44,720 --> 01:59:46,880
Speaker 2: the wait. And I never stopped being a fan or

2378
01:59:46,920 --> 01:59:48,920
Speaker 2: loving them in all those years that they weren't around,

2379
01:59:49,480 --> 01:59:51,880
Speaker 2: Like I just I've found out the good news. One

2380
01:59:51,920 --> 01:59:53,160
Speaker 2: day they were coming out with the new album and

2381
01:59:53,160 --> 01:59:55,400
Speaker 2: I went and picked it up. So I feel like

2382
01:59:55,920 --> 01:59:58,120
Speaker 2: I don't care about that part of it obviously. The

2383
01:59:58,880 --> 02:00:01,240
Speaker 2: thing about that now that is in my heart is

2384
02:00:01,280 --> 02:00:04,960
Speaker 2: about life and how long is my life? And you know,

2385
02:00:05,280 --> 02:00:07,840
Speaker 2: like that thought of like how long do I really

2386
02:00:07,880 --> 02:00:08,360
Speaker 2: have where.

2387
02:00:08,160 --> 02:00:09,720
Speaker 3: We can keep doing this?

2388
02:00:10,040 --> 02:00:14,560
Speaker 2: And it is very life giving to me in this time,

2389
02:00:14,960 --> 02:00:16,560
Speaker 2: like it is giving me life.

2390
02:00:16,640 --> 02:00:17,440
Speaker 3: I feel happy.

2391
02:00:17,520 --> 02:00:20,680
Speaker 2: I feel like when I'm working on something, that's when

2392
02:00:20,720 --> 02:00:24,040
Speaker 2: I feel the best. I really do, like I can't

2393
02:00:24,040 --> 02:00:26,440
Speaker 2: just sit around and do nothing. I feel like this

2394
02:00:27,080 --> 02:00:28,640
Speaker 2: I'm good at. This is what I was born to do.

2395
02:00:28,720 --> 02:00:30,560
Speaker 2: It gives me joy, it gives other people joy. I

2396
02:00:30,640 --> 02:00:33,560
Speaker 2: want to do it. So now there's an urgency for

2397
02:00:33,600 --> 02:00:37,400
Speaker 2: me that isn't really about my career what I want

2398
02:00:37,440 --> 02:00:40,600
Speaker 2: to do. I've done that. I feel pretty satisfied honestly

2399
02:00:40,800 --> 02:00:44,240
Speaker 2: with what we've done. But it's coming from a place

2400
02:00:44,400 --> 02:00:48,280
Speaker 2: of I guess just it's existential. It's like, I don't

2401
02:00:48,320 --> 02:00:49,920
Speaker 2: know how long we have and I love doing it

2402
02:00:49,960 --> 02:00:52,120
Speaker 2: and I want joy in my life, and let's go.

2403
02:00:52,200 --> 02:00:54,800
Speaker 2: Let's hurry up because who knows what comes tomorrow.

2404
02:00:55,640 --> 02:00:59,400
Speaker 1: I mean, that's well put. But you've had amazing success.

2405
02:01:00,280 --> 02:01:04,360
Speaker 1: Is there any holy grail or something beyond this that

2406
02:01:04,400 --> 02:01:07,640
Speaker 1: you want to achieve or is it more like you said,

2407
02:01:07,640 --> 02:01:09,600
Speaker 1: with the extential thing, I just want to produce.

2408
02:01:13,720 --> 02:01:16,920
Speaker 2: It'd be cool to win another Grammy with my band now,

2409
02:01:17,760 --> 02:01:21,120
Speaker 2: like the band that we've become, not the kids that

2410
02:01:21,520 --> 02:01:23,840
Speaker 2: were just starting out and everything has changed since then.

2411
02:01:24,320 --> 02:01:27,160
Speaker 2: Just scraping the surface. That would be cool. I would

2412
02:01:27,200 --> 02:01:30,720
Speaker 2: love that for us. It also be cool to go

2413
02:01:30,760 --> 02:01:32,200
Speaker 2: on SNL. I don't know why I've never done that.

2414
02:01:34,440 --> 02:01:38,560
Speaker 2: But like I can't say, I honestly can't tell you

2415
02:01:38,600 --> 02:01:42,160
Speaker 2: that I'm like striving and driving towards winning any award.

2416
02:01:42,880 --> 02:01:46,520
Speaker 2: Like that's not really what I'm not trying to sound cool,

2417
02:01:46,600 --> 02:01:49,840
Speaker 2: that's not really why I'm in it. There's a satisfaction

2418
02:01:49,880 --> 02:01:51,720
Speaker 2: that's just a lot bigger than that. But that would

2419
02:01:51,760 --> 02:01:52,640
Speaker 2: be cool. I would love that.

2420
02:01:54,320 --> 02:01:58,040
Speaker 1: Okay, Amy, thanks so much for being honest, forth right,

2421
02:01:58,080 --> 02:02:01,400
Speaker 1: and open, very verbal. I know you can turn it

2422
02:02:01,440 --> 02:02:03,120
Speaker 1: on when there are people there and other times you

2423
02:02:03,160 --> 02:02:05,080
Speaker 1: have to be in your own mind. But in any event,

2424
02:02:05,160 --> 02:02:06,760
Speaker 1: I want to thank you so much for taking this

2425
02:02:06,840 --> 02:02:07,919
Speaker 1: time with my audience.

2426
02:02:08,960 --> 02:02:10,160
Speaker 3: Thank you for taking the time.

2427
02:02:10,240 --> 02:02:13,440
Speaker 2: I've been your fan for quite a while and was

2428
02:02:13,480 --> 02:02:15,160
Speaker 2: excited when I heard that you wanted to talk to me.

2429
02:02:15,440 --> 02:02:16,800
Speaker 3: So thanks for taking the time.

2430
02:02:16,840 --> 02:02:19,400
Speaker 1: I was excited wanted to talk to me in any

2431
02:02:19,440 --> 02:02:23,080
Speaker 1: of them until next time. This is Bob left sets