WEBVTT - The One Thing You Need Before Grit, Resilience, or Confidence (Pt 2) 0:00:02.600 --> 0:00:05.320 Everybody is Bill Courtney with an army in normal folks. 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:08.440 And we continue now a part two of our conversation 0:00:08.560 --> 0:00:12.039 with doctor Ashley Cross right after these brief messages from 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:30.600 our generous sponsors. All right, so that's the crisis intervention part. 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:31.680 What else? 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:36.199 We have the care Portal, which is one of my favorite. 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:37.839 I love the. 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:41.559 Care Portal for our listeners who haven't heardress for. 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:45.680 You know, the care Portal is a platform that DHS 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:49.080 workers as well as in our community. Now we've world 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:52.840 it out to some of the higher CPS reporting schools 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:57.520 and a charter school and so it allows for child 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:01.920 welfare workers and other helping professionals to communicate needs in 0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:05.600 real time to the community. We have twenty four churches 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:09.280 and that are collectively made up about six hundred responders 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:12.520 that at any given day they're receiving emails. 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:16.080 So if a kid's in crisis and needs something, yeah, 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:18.240 and there's no resources for it, and go to the 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:22.040 US post it on care portal. Yeah. And all you 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.960 have to do is have the care Portal on your 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:27.119 phone and when you see a need that you can fill, 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:27.759 you fill it. 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:29.560 And it's normal folks doing it. 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:36.720 That's right, normal folks, the easiest way to know that legitimately, 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:41.200 whatever you can give is actually going directly to the 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:42.960 service of somebody needs help. Yep. 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:46.200 Yeah, And they're all vetted needs, right, So these are 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:48.480 not people who can put their own needs into the 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:52.120 care Portal. It's vetted by a professional who's working with 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:56.600 the families. And we've been running that initiative for eight years. 0:01:56.640 --> 0:01:59.920 We've served about twenty five hundred children and how to 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:03.200 more than one million dollar economic impact in Monroe County. 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.600 But recently what we've done is we realized that the 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:09.440 care Portal has been used to reduce the number of 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:13.040 removals to children and foster care, which is amazing. It's amazing. 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:15.640 But what it got me thinking about was we've started 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:19.240 this initiative that's really focusing on narrowing the front door 0:02:19.280 --> 0:02:22.079 to child protective services, which is very different than where 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:25.600 I started my career. My career really started with foster care. 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:29.760 We need more foster families. These kids need families. One 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:32.240 day at down Dummuth, many of these kids have families 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:35.520 who really loved them and lost them because they could 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:38.919 not afford them right, lost them because they were navigating 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:42.560 poverty and to me, it's a huge injustice for a 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:46.000 family to be separated because their basic needs haven't been met, 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:49.880 because again we're talking about generational poverty. And so I said, well, 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:52.120 if the care Portal can reduce the number of removals, 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:54.240 then the care Portal can also reduce the number of 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:58.520 calls made to the state Central Registry by mandate reporters 0:02:58.560 --> 0:03:03.280 for issues that are not abuse but more neglected to poverty. 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:06.000 So that's why we're now, we're using the care Portal 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:08.359 to help narrow the front door to child protective services. 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:11.800 Care Portal says that seventy six percent of child welfare 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:16.000 cases stem from neglect link to poverty, not abuse. Yep, 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:21.200 in our seventy would have fault. I know it was 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:24.200 not poverty, it was abuse and fighting in the home 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:27.680 and all of the stuff that we expect. But care 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:32.600 Portal says seventy six percent of child welfare cases stem 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:38.840 from not from the neglect from abuse, but just simple 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:44.560 poverty seventy three quarters. So what you're saying is let's 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:47.480 keep kids out of foster care in the first place 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:51.040 by supporting them where they are with their families, which 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:53.600 I think when I read that, I was like, yeah, 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:57.480 and there's a few things. It was a light bulb. 0:03:57.280 --> 0:03:59.760 Moment for me too. Seven thousand calls to go to 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:03.680 that are in our community each year, seventy five percent unsubstantiated, 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:04.600 is that right? 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:10.080 Yep? And the highest seventy unsubstantiated. Yep. That's so interesting. 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:11.920 So when I look at okay, well, what are the 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:15.360 highest reports by allegation? Right, why are these kids coming 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:19.880 to the attention of child welfare? Inadequate guardianship, lack of food, clothing, 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:22.160 and shelter. What is lack of food, clothing and shelter 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:28.080 that already poverty? Educational neglect. Kids aren't going to school? 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:31.720 Why aren't they going to school? Right? Why aren't they 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.119 going to It depends. That's a good question we're learning. 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:36.680 We're in the middle of a pilot right now, and 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.159 younger kids who don't go to school is almost always 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:43.560 tied to poverty. Right, parents, transportation, kids missed the bus, 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:46.320 it's hard to get them to school. Older kids staying 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:49.599 back to watch younger siblings because mom can't afford childcare, 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:55.640 because child aware is expensive. We've also found illness right, 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:59.120 a sick parent that a kid feels responsible to stay 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:02.000 home to watch and to help. But then we're also 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:04.799 finding with our older kids it's actually like they're refusing 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:08.800 to go to school because they don't see the point 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:09.080 of it. 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:12.839 I see you talk about a lack of hope. 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.359 Yep, we have a kid that won't get out of 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:18.400 bed because they're like, I'm so far behind, I'll never 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:20.680 catch up, ever going to catch up. I'm never going 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.960 to catch up, which is hopeless. Or we have young 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:27.000 people who have unmat mental health issues and school feels 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:30.520 chaotic to them. They're like the thought of walking through 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:33.760 that door it makes me want to have a panic, 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:37.320 like I just I can't do it. So we're seeing 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:40.760 increased mental health challenges in our young people since COVID, 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:47.000 nobody's addressed that, right, So these kids were isolated for 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:50.600 years and now we're like go back to school, and 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:56.159 our school district just cut. I think almost half of 0:05:56.160 --> 0:06:00.960 the social workers in schools. So again earlier when I said, 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:02.359 you get that twenty six year old and you have 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:04.480 to say, okay, there's some systems that it failed. When 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:07.520 I look at our young people and I see their behaviors, 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:10.320 and I see the media and social media and all 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:13.279 of us pointing fingers at young people. I get it, 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:16.159 accountability is needed. But I'm also looking back and I'm saying, 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:18.640 but you guys just cut all the social workers. You 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:21.960 just cut social workers, right, We're not investing in mental 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:22.960 health at all. 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:28.320 Well, and the other thing is if you're dealing with 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:31.920 all of that as a kid. Back to the original 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:38.080 overarching picture that I hope our listeners get. No amount 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:42.160 of grit can help an eight year old overcome that. No, none, no, 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:48.400 And I can see it. I can see a sick parent. 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:51.520 I also wonder, and you said you started a pilot. 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:57.039 I'd be very interested to find out if young teenagers 0:06:57.120 --> 0:07:01.400 avoid school that are locked in poverty because they're embarrassed 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:05.039 about their food, what they're wearing, their hair, and just 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:09.400 their general appearance and ability to show up and feel 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:09.840 less than. 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:11.320 We had a young lady who wasn't going to school 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:14.600 because she couldn't her parents could afford hygiene issue hygiene stuff. 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:17.280 Yeah, that's that's a real. 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:20.040 Thing, yeap, And can you blame her? 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:24.800 I go back to when I was thirteen to school. 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:29.240 Some kids are just not nice and social media, so 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:32.120 I come to school and not looking my best, and 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:33.840 that'd be the day that somebody takes a picture and 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:36.000 it goes viral, like you have all these pressure. 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:38.800 Man, if you are ragged and stincty, you don't need 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:41.560 anybody to tell you, you know, you know, yeah, and 0:07:41.640 --> 0:07:47.880 you already have a have a self conscious of it. Yeah, yeah, 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:50.160 I can see all of that. And again that's all 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:52.680 linked back to poverty. And so what you're saying is, 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:56.200 let's let's stop it in the home with the family 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:59.320 before it becomes a foster care situation. 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:04.560 Yeah. I think one challenge is, you know, there's this 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:08.080 this thought that if you're living in poverty, it's because 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:11.760 there's a lack of trying or lack of effort, right, 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:12.240 because you. 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:15.160 On behalf of the right. 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:17.880 So it's it's if you're if you're poor, it's because 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:19.200 you're not you're not working. 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:20.880 Hard or nothing, you're not trying, And I'm like, lazy. 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:23.120 Do you know the people that I know living in 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:25.000 poverty are some of the hardest workers I know. They're 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:29.480 working sixty hours, seventy hours a week, two three jobs, 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.760 catching one bus to this bus to this bus, dragging 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:36.600 three year old to daycare, going They're very hard workers. 0:08:37.800 --> 0:08:39.920 And so it's not that they have a there's a 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:40.840 lack of trying. 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:41.600 Right. 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:45.400 We're talking about generations of poverty. And I always say, 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:46.720 you know, it's so easy to look at a parent 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:49.079 and say, why did they make that that choice that bad, 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:51.240 that bad decision that landed their kid and foster. Can 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.600 I can say, well, they actually did not have a 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:57.600 good choice to choose, Like there wasn't like out of 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:00.040 all of the choices that they had, their. 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.800 Was it It was just the least worst, get the 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:03.480 least worst. 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:08.520 Right, leave my child with my boyfriend that I you know, 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:12.439 barely know, leaven with the neighbor that I barely know, miswork, 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:16.520 and risk losing my job, Like none of those are 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:19.200 good options, but I got to choose one of those three. 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:25.640 So this diverse from your level of expertise, I think, 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:31.160 but it does speak to I mean, it's part of 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:33.720 the picture, I think is that I hear what you're saying, 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:38.280 and I know many of these people. I have people 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:42.360 that work for me that in Memphis fifteen dollars an 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:46.800 hour is let me, let me set this up for you. 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:49.440 I don't know our listeners are listening, but we are 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:52.800 now straight up in a chat. Even me, Okay, I 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:58.520 remember when President Obama. It was years ago, probably ten, 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:01.960 but he it was in a speech, and I was 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:05.120 half assed paying attention to him. To be honest with you, 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:09.960 I was in my den doing something, working at night, 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:12.280 but listening to the TV, and in a speech he 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:17.160 said something about the poverty level is this, and if 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:19.920 you don't make I think at that time it was 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:24.559 eleven dollars and twenty five cents an hour, you are 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:29.000 officially going to be in poverty. And nobody should work 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:32.079 forty hours a week and live in poverty. That is 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:35.840 not the social construct of America. And at that time, 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:40.000 this is again years ago. At that time I did. 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:42.640 I was starting people at nine to fifty an hour 0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:46.199 in the most laborious positions I had, and if they 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:48.040 made it thirty days, I got them up to ten. 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:52.200 But then I thought, I'm an employer with a business 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:56.240 and I have people. They're they're holding up there into 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:59.240 the bargain of the American construct. They're working forty hours, 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:02.480 they're doing their they're not out robbing people doing anything. 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:06.040 They're working, and I'm not paying them enough to stay 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:08.079 out of poverty. And it never dawned on me as 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:09.920 a business owner, and I went to work the next 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:13.440 day and literally raised every single body up to a 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:16.880 quarter over whatever that number was. President Obama said, I 0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:19.160 could not look myself in the mirror and know I 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:23.199 had hard working people working for me forty hours, and I, 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:26.640 as an employer, was not giving them a wage to 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:29.080 keep them out of poverty. I did that. That's a 0:11:29.160 --> 0:11:34.600 real thing. Fast forward today, I have people that work 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:37.840 for me making fifteen dollars an hour, which by that 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:41.800 whole metric is two dollars an hour over in Memphis 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:47.520 what poverty level is. So as an employer, I'm trying 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:51.600 to do my part. Profits are necessary measure of any businesses, 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:53.600 it says. And as much as I'd like to pay 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:55.840 everybody a whole bunch of money, I still got to 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:58.120 put money on the bottom line. I answered to a 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:00.480 bank that I owe money to know if you could 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:01.000 say this or not. 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:02.800 But it's a low margin business. I don't know if 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:04.960 you're open to saying the percentage, but it's not some 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:06.440 businesses there's a lot of margin. 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:09.240 Yeah, my business is a low margin business. It's a 0:12:09.320 --> 0:12:13.040 high volume, low marching business. It's manufacturing, it's commodities, there's 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:16.080 all kinds of variables, will make real good money one month, 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:18.559 and thirty days later we'll lose that money again because 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.760 of the commoditized nature of my business. But all I'm 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:25.320 trying to say to you is, before I say what 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:30.040 I'm saying, I get what hourly wage looks like because 0:12:30.080 --> 0:12:32.440 I employ a lot of them, and I have tried 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:38.760 to do the right thing, all right. However, I know 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:42.679 that somebody making fifteen dollars an hour is still struggling. Yeah, 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:45.600 And I have people that work for me that do 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:48.200 that all day at my place, go take a couple 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:50.240 hours off, and then they go work in a kitchen 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:53.480 at a restaurant for another four or five hours, and 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:56.359 they're doing that to pay the rent and make ends meet. 0:12:57.240 --> 0:13:01.040 And I do wonder what their children are doing, you know, 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:07.280 I do. I wonder. And I know that I have 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:11.120 people that work for me that have the least worst 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:14.120 decision to make when things get tough, and I know 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:18.920 there's no way they have in savings ninety days worth 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:22.400 of an emergency fund, and so they are always living, 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:26.040 even if they're not in poverty, they're always living just 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:30.720 on the cusp of it. But as a business owner, 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:33.800 I also have to make money for our company, So 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:37.600 I can't just automatically raise everybody up, so those issues 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:41.880 don't So that to me is where the conflux of 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:49.480 you know, here's the question what do we do? Because 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:53.640 I can't do it all as a business owner, although 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:56.280 my heart wants me to. There is a reality of 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:59.040 owning a business, right And I tried to pay fair 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:02.000 wages and I listen to my president and I did 0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:05.240 do the things that I needed to do to at 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:08.120 least make sure at the very minimum no one worked 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:11.040 for me was earning below the poverty level. But the 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.040 same respect, I know it's really not enough for a 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:17.800 lot of folks. Yeah, so as a society, now you know, 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:19.840 and again I know this is kind of off, but 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:23.120 I do think because of your experience, you see the 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:27.240 people affected by these issues as a society, have you 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:31.280 have you thought about or got your arms around the 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:36.960 true fact is there's just always going to be people 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:44.720 trying to get up and that don't And it seems 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:45.960 like such a difficult issue. 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:47.880 It is it is, But you know what, I think 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:50.680 that that is the beauty of what Agape is doing 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:54.920 right with trying to get an entire community to focus 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:58.080 on hope. Because I think that what happens is it's 0:14:58.080 --> 0:15:00.560 so easy to just say, okay, we need every business 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:05.960 owner to increase minimum wage, go past the threshold for 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:08.720 minimum wage. And I think that that's a start. But 0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:12.720 people who are living in deep poverty, they need communities 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:15.880 of people all doing a little bit of something that 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:20.400 helps change their condition. It starts off with their employer 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:23.960 doing the right thing, right, but it also moves into 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:30.640 so many other pieces of from you know, obviously policy, 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:33.640 and all kind of other things that would impact their conditions. 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:37.680 It doesn't just start with one. It starts with us 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:40.440 looking at schools and rec centers that can have safe 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:43.800 spaces for kids so that when parents are working, they 0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:46.320 have good options of where to send their children. 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:47.040 Right. 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.640 It starts off with us having conversations around how expensive 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:51.680 childcare is. 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:52.960 Right. 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:57.600 It starts with us ensuring that even employers are investing 0:15:57.680 --> 0:16:00.440 in their people, like trying to create ways for people 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:03.680 to increase their skills so that they can move up 0:16:03.720 --> 0:16:06.640 and not always have to be at the same position 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:08.640 that they're in. I think that there are so many 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:11.160 ways to think about it, and it's not just an 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:12.760 easy thing to solve. I think if it was that 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.200 easy you would have had somebody do it a decade ago, 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:19.000 probably so many decades ago, right, But I think that 0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:22.040 if you have a bunch of people who at least 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:24.720 care the way that you care to say, Okay, what 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:27.040 can I do? Like if everybody just says what can 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:27.560 I do. 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:33.040 It? We'll be fun. That's the whole idea about it, right, 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:33.840 it really is. 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:36.280 And so I think that that it goes right back 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:38.720 to you know, but I guess. 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:42.160 What I'm saying is that person who this all started 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:44.680 with some of the hardest working people you know, were 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:48.160 forty sixty hours and despite it, are still right on 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:51.480 that poverty level, and as a result, their kids end 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:56.400 up being in this at risk group. Right oftentimes not always, 0:16:56.400 --> 0:17:01.240 but sometimes how do they have hope? If you're working 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:03.880 yours off at two jobs six hours a week and 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:06.960 you're still barely keeping your head above water, and you 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:11.800 know that your children aren't getting everything they need, you know, 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:19.200 that feels pretty hopeless to me, And I just you know, 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:21.960 how do we help them have hope? 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:22.840 Yeah? 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:24.360 I think. 0:17:27.880 --> 0:17:32.000 One as a mom myself, right, I think every parent 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:36.680 finds some level of hope and inspiration in the achievement 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:37.360 of our children. 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:39.600 No, it's a good point. It's so true. 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:42.399 Like there's nothing more than I want than for my 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:48.720 children to life. I don't mind, while at the same time, 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:52.120 I do want someone to acknowledge that outside of being 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:55.280 a mom, I'm Ashley, and before actually became a mom, 0:17:55.320 --> 0:18:01.400 actually had goals and aspirations and dreams, and so they 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:05.280 need they need community too, right, Like mom needs someone 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:08.080 to say I remember five years ago you were saying 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:10.840 you wanted to go back and get your associates. When 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:12.480 are we going to do that? What's it going to 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:17.680 take to get you there? I know you're working sixty hours. 0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:19.400 What is it that you want? 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:19.600 Like? 0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:22.439 Can you start taking a class this summer? All right? 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:23.960 How much debt do you have? How can we pay 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:27.040 this off? Can you talk to like it's and I 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:30.719 mean it's not easy, but it's at least acknowledging that 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:35.040 I see you. I know that this is not everything 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:37.720 that you want for your life to be. How can 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:40.840 we start working for you to get there? One thing 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:43.160 that I love about the hope theory and in Hope Rising, 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:45.520 you have the Hope scale, but you also have family 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:49.159 hope right like you can how do you increase hope 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:52.119 in all and a collective and a unit right, a 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:55.280 team of people. And so I really do believe that 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:57.720 when young people have the support that they need and 0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:00.600 their hope starts to rise. Did it frees family and 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:02.959 parents up to say, Okay, now I know my child 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:05.719 has the support that they need, that it's not just me. Like, 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:07.479 one of the things that helps my hope is to 0:19:07.520 --> 0:19:11.239 know that my kids are loved by so many other 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:13.560 people than just me. So I can be here Mephis 0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:16.080 with you today because my kids are taken care of. 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:18.800 And this is something that I'm passionate about that I love. 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:21.760 So I don't feel like I'm having to sacrifice my 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:26.360 dreams for my children because we have a village. 0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:28.240 We'll be right back. 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:42.280 One thing you're doing, Ashley directly on this in terms 0:19:42.320 --> 0:19:45.040 of a village and hope is I love the mentoring 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:48.000 model of multiple people around a kid. If you want 0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:48.560 to talk about that. 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:51.200 Yeah, yeah, there's a model that actually came out of 0:19:51.240 --> 0:19:55.800 Oklahoma's standard. The Gap Ministries has a life Launch program 0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:57.680 and I actually worked a life Launch program when I 0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:01.280 lived in Oklahoma, came to Rochester and wanted to continue that. 0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:03.920 And it's a group mentorship program for system impacted youth. 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:07.360 And the reason we do that is because some young 0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:11.600 people are can handle the one on one. Many young people, 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:14.720 because there's such a deficit of relationships in their life, 0:20:14.720 --> 0:20:17.119 they need more than one person, so we do group mentorship. 0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:19.679 So I'll give you an example. Me, my husband, and 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:22.560 my mom. We've been mentoring a twenty year old young 0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:24.480 man who is preparing to age out of foster care 0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:28.560 for the past two years. And it's great because he 0:20:28.600 --> 0:20:32.040 gets three people who are all very different that he 0:20:32.080 --> 0:20:33.639 can talk to about different things. He talks to my 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:35.359 husband about things that he won't talk to me about 0:20:35.840 --> 0:20:38.439 talk about, right, He talks to me about things that 0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:40.679 he's like, I'm talking to Melvin about this yet, or 0:20:40.720 --> 0:20:42.600 you know. And then my mom brings like the grandma, 0:20:42.720 --> 0:20:46.080 feel like she's the grandmother of But he graduated two 0:20:46.119 --> 0:20:49.919 weeks ago. No one was there but our family. He 0:20:50.000 --> 0:20:52.159 wanted my three year old there, the five year old 0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:54.439 that he wanted the whole family to be there to 0:20:54.440 --> 0:21:00.359 watch him graduate. And we tripled his social capital. Yeah, 0:21:00.440 --> 0:21:03.879 just by one connection, right, you know. I love mentorship. 0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:06.480 I love one on one mentorship, but many of the world. 0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:09.840 Hits him in the mouth, he at least knows he. 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:13.680 Can call you, and it has it has hit him right, 0:21:13.760 --> 0:21:16.920 and we've showed up. And I mean, and we've also 0:21:17.000 --> 0:21:19.800 learned a lot from him. Like I think that that's 0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:21.600 also a thing. Sometimes we go in just thinking that 0:21:21.640 --> 0:21:23.639 we're saving these kids and we do not realize like 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:26.480 we can actually learn a lot from them. 0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:31.200 If people listening to this were watching this, it was funny. 0:21:31.280 --> 0:21:33.880 You're you're affect and your face changed when you talked 0:21:33.880 --> 0:21:38.040 about him. Yeah you brightened up. Yeah, yeah, you got 0:21:38.080 --> 0:21:39.720 a whole lot less serious and put a small on 0:21:39.720 --> 0:21:41.280 your face when you're talking about him. 0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:44.720 Yeah, yeah, you know, he's him as well as I mean, 0:21:44.760 --> 0:21:47.480 my oldest daughter. I think when I think of stories 0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:49.879 like these are people who mean a lot to me. 0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:53.000 So it's not just a case study. Is not just 0:21:53.040 --> 0:21:57.960 like these. He's family. You know, my daughter Jordan, that's 0:21:58.040 --> 0:22:01.399 that's she's as much as my daughter is the babies 0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:04.320 that our birth right. And I'm just I think I 0:22:04.359 --> 0:22:06.479 smiled thinking about him because when we met him two 0:22:06.560 --> 0:22:09.720 years ago, he was just he was an incredibly guarded kid, 0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:12.960 lived in a group home, had a very negative experience 0:22:13.000 --> 0:22:16.480