1 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:07,440 Speaker 1: There's nothing worse than watching a young person cry because 2 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 1: they don't think they're good enough. But we're failing them 3 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: if we do their jobs for them. We have to 4 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: make them deal with it and then as an adult, 5 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: helped teach them how to get up so they can 6 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:26,240 Speaker 1: have success. This is The Reformed Sports Project, a podcast 7 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 1: about restoring healthy balance and perspective in all areas of 8 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: sports through education and advocacy. I'm Nick Bonacoort from the 9 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: Reformed Sports Project podcast. Joining me today is Frank Martin, 10 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: men's basketball head coach at the University of South Carolina. 11 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 1: Coach Martin and I talk youth sports development and specialization. 12 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 1: I'm really grateful and humbled having he's extremely successful, runs 13 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: one of the top programs in the country from the 14 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: basketball side, and head coach of the men's basketball team 15 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: at the University of South Carolina, The Game Cox Coach 16 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: Frank Martin, coach man, thanks for hopping on. Really pumped. 17 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: Its great to be here with you and extremely excited 18 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: to have a great conversation and love what you're doing, 19 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: Love the direction you're taking this in not not to 20 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: be critical of people, but to make everyone a little 21 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: bit more understanding of reality, so a lot of respect. Well, 22 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: I appreciate you there, And that's the whole premise here. 23 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 1: And this is where I want to start, because it 24 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 1: starts at a young age. We're talking youth sports, we're 25 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: talking athletic development. Nowadays, it's like we're taking professional athletic 26 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: ideology and trying to apply to six, seven, eight, nine, 27 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: ten year olds. It's like professional sports for young kids, 28 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: and it starts with this specialization. Forget about sample in 29 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:36,399 Speaker 1: different sports. And if you can get a layup in 30 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,320 Speaker 1: and the hoop and you're six years old, it's like, 31 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 1: forget about baseball. Put that down. You're playing basketball year round. 32 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:43,960 Speaker 1: I just want to ask you, what are your thoughts 33 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 1: of kids specializing really early and being pushed to do 34 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: so versus sampling of variety of sports, particularly at the 35 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: young ages. I mean, I'm not into telling people how 36 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 1: to be parents. I mean, they got to figure that 37 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 1: one out. But what I will say is if you 38 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 1: allow your child to play multiple sports, every sport requires 39 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 1: different muscle memory and different mind process and physical abilities. 40 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: When you combine them all, eventually, when they get old enough, 41 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 1: they're even a better athlete. Whenever they decide to pursue 42 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,919 Speaker 1: one sport rather than just always doing the same movements 43 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,160 Speaker 1: because you only allow to play a certain sport. Secondly, 44 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: you get them around different mindsets. Football players have a 45 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 1: different mindset, the basketball players. Basketball players have a different mindset, 46 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,640 Speaker 1: the baseball players. You get young children to understand the 47 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 1: different mindsets and the different approaches and the mentalities, and 48 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 1: I think it's conducive to a better prepared young man 49 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,519 Speaker 1: rather than this whole kind of just focus them in 50 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 1: on one sport and just where his rear end out 51 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,519 Speaker 1: at a young age, which I believe is then conducive 52 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 1: to knee injuries and our sport and basketball soft tissue 53 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: injuries and things of that nature, good injuries from stress 54 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: fractures because of overuse in doing the same things over 55 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: and over and over from a young age. You're touching 56 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: on the physical aspect of it. But as you're talking, 57 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,520 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about the mental burnout. I see it all 58 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: the time on the baseball side a lot of games, 59 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: but often here parents say, like, I think there's no 60 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: such thing as burnout burnout? Who gets burnt out? That 61 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 1: must not be a real athlete. What are your thoughts 62 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: on literally getting mentally exhausted kids burning out. I think 63 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: parents would say that are the ones that never went 64 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 1: through it at a young age, that never got forced 65 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: to play just one sport and were made to workout play. 66 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: You see, because parents of kids that are like fifteen 67 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: years old right now, like in basketball, summer basketball wasn't 68 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: as big as it is now. So parents, when this 69 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: age group and they were fifteen years old, you played 70 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: your high school season and maybe you played a couple 71 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,839 Speaker 1: of tournaments in the spring and summer. That's it. There 72 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: wasn't this every weekend, different tournament, different place, play four 73 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: games in one day. You didn't have that. You go 74 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: play at the park on Saturdays and played all days, 75 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: but you didn't play Monday through Thursday or Monday through 76 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: Friday all day. I mean, you might go and park 77 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: and shoot some balls or whatever, but that's it. And 78 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: here's the other part to that. There's no burnout if 79 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: you let the kid be. But the problem is that 80 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: you've got coaches coaching the kids, and then you've got 81 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: the parents hounding the kids during the game, and then 82 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: after the game, the parents in the car being critical 83 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,720 Speaker 1: of the young man to coach and whatever, and that 84 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,760 Speaker 1: young person eventually just like, holy cow, man, I'm tired 85 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: of this at a young age. And then what the 86 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,280 Speaker 1: kids do when they're tired and frustrated they shut down. 87 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,280 Speaker 1: So the people say they got bad attitudes. They don't 88 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: have bad attitudes. Are just young people that are just 89 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: bogged down. And so I think that's a problem. Well, 90 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: you bring me back to when you had mentioned when 91 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: when you went on your very very famous passionate press 92 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,960 Speaker 1: conference when you talked about quite frankly, the stands and 93 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 1: right yelling at officials and all that. And I've talked 94 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: to coach. My boys wrestle, they play all different things, 95 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: and I've talked to wrestling coaches. I've talked to umpires, 96 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,599 Speaker 1: I've talked to referee. There's like, as short as people 97 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,039 Speaker 1: don't want to go out there and call games regardless 98 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: of the event, because they're like, man, I don't you 99 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: get harassed by some people like over zealous, quite frankly adults. Parents, 100 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,479 Speaker 1: you talk about shutting down, what are we doing as parents? 101 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 1: From your perspective as a high level college coach, what 102 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: are we doing his parents that's impacting officials and ultimately 103 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 1: hindering the kid's experience From developing. I mean, I'm all 104 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 1: for structure, I'm all for discipline, but we can't all 105 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: discipline the kids on the same things. Like what do 106 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,920 Speaker 1: I mean, let's talk baseball. I'm an old baseball guy, 107 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: so I like talking baseball. Young kids strikes out or 108 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,279 Speaker 1: doesn't run hard the first base because he's frustrated because 109 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: he grounds out the second base, and and he just 110 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: doesn't run hard. So by the time that kid comes 111 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: off the base pass, the coach the manager is probably 112 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 1: gonna if he's doing his job making the kid understand 113 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 1: how to do things better. Well, you got the parents 114 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: screaming from the stands. That's embarrassing to the kid. So 115 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,160 Speaker 1: now the kid is embarrassed, so he shuts down. So 116 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 1: then when they're getting a car, now the parents all 117 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: over the kids. So now the kids being constantly disciplined 118 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: over the same thing by different people, which sometimes the 119 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: opinion of the parent is different than the opinion of 120 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 1: the coach's coaching the game. So that creates a mental 121 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: challenge for young people. I say this all the time. 122 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,360 Speaker 1: Professional athletes, Yeah, you can scream whatever at them. There's 123 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 1: a reason they make so much money. It's not just 124 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: that they're physically gifted, but mentally they're in a place 125 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: where they know how to like hide and keep just 126 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: what I call noise out of their heads. Young kids 127 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: don't know how to keep noise out of their heads. 128 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:25,039 Speaker 1: Young kids, and in today's day of social media, where 129 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,719 Speaker 1: they're gonna get beat up. Fifteen year olds are getting 130 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,599 Speaker 1: criticized on social media because they had a bad day 131 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 1: on the field or on the court, and fifteen year 132 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: olds read their social media. I'm lucky I'm at that 133 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: age right now where I don't read my social media. 134 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 1: I might use social media, but I don't read my 135 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: social media. Young kids read their social media. So now 136 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,279 Speaker 1: they're getting beat up by all kinds of different people 137 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: over the same thing. And that's not fair to young 138 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 1: kids because they're not mentally in a place to manage that. 139 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna shift a little gear, Sycus. That's a great point, 140 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: because does the parent just have to be a parent? 141 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 1: Parents get confused because they say, well, the coach doesn't 142 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: know what the hell they're doing. One thing I see 143 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 1: that gets lost. High school coaches I've literally heard tell 144 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 1: me it's hard to coach nowadays because you're afraid you're 145 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,239 Speaker 1: gonna get fired. You know, if you if you coach 146 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: the kid, you know, if you if the kid sits 147 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: the bench, Sure, whatever the case is. But at the 148 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: same time I hear from every college coach I talked 149 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 1: to one of the most sought after characteristics is competition. 150 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: Kids that love to compete, compete to win. How do 151 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 1: you push without being overbearing? Right? Coaching is probably the 152 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 1: one profession that everyone that doesn't coach has better opinions 153 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: and better thoughts than the people that do coach. You 154 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,240 Speaker 1: don't shoot around reading about people that are CEOs of 155 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 1: corporations and everyone's saying they don't know what they're doing, 156 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: they should have made the decision better. But in coaching, 157 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: that's the one profession that everyone feels that they have 158 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: a better answer on how to do things. And that's okay, 159 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: I mean, it is what it is. It's a difficult, 160 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: difficult time right now to be a disciplinarian. Heck, as 161 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 1: a parent, you gotta be careful. As a disc splinary, 162 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: I've always been a big believer of this. You better 163 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 1: have personal relationships with your players. This is not something 164 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: that I started now because times have changed. You've got 165 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,680 Speaker 1: to have personal relationship with your players. They have to 166 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,119 Speaker 1: know that you're committed to helping them above and beyond 167 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: the game of basketball. And when you do that, and 168 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:21,640 Speaker 1: they're more receptive to allowing you to be more I 169 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: don't want to say aggressive, that's not the right word, 170 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 1: but holding them accountable at a higher level. The one 171 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 1: thing that I've never had time for is you cannot 172 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 1: make it personal and negative towards a player. I don't 173 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,840 Speaker 1: believe in that. I say it all the time. I'm 174 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: really loud, but I'm really positive. I might yell a lot, 175 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: but I don't degrade people. And that's the one thing 176 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: that as long as you don't cross that line where 177 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,680 Speaker 1: you're creating a negative atmosphere in your relationship with a 178 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 1: player or a negative atmosphere with the words that you 179 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,319 Speaker 1: use because you're degrading a player, I think everything is 180 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 1: gonna be okay. But with that said, in our sport 181 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: and basketball, over the last four years, there are over 182 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:05,479 Speaker 1: eight hundred and fifty transfers a year in Division one basketball, 183 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,440 Speaker 1: and that is a direct correlation to what you just explained. 184 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 1: Parents not allowing coaches at the high school level to 185 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 1: coach their kids, and as soon as the coach tries 186 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,559 Speaker 1: to coach their kids. They either try to get the 187 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,440 Speaker 1: coach fired or they pull their kid and transfer them 188 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,959 Speaker 1: to a different school where they don't hold them as accountable. 189 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,440 Speaker 1: So they get to college and they're gonna be held accountable. 190 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:26,520 Speaker 1: And when they're not comfortable in that world, they do 191 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 1: what they learn in high school. They get up and 192 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: run from it. And that's unfortunate because young kids don't 193 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 1: want to run away from problems, but if you allow 194 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,079 Speaker 1: them to at a young age, they're going to become 195 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,959 Speaker 1: adults that run away from problems. And that's the one 196 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,319 Speaker 1: problem that we do have in society through sports in 197 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,840 Speaker 1: today's day and age. The word adversity comes to mind. 198 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 1: From my vantage point, I look back and I didn't 199 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 1: recognize that when I was seventeen years old going through 200 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 1: those tough times. But then you fall back on things 201 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 1: as an adult, least for me, I'm thirty five years old. 202 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about, Wow, I've been here before in different setting, 203 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: back in my college days or whatever. The terms helicopter 204 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: parents and snowplowed parents were paring the path for the 205 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: child as opposed to preparing the child for the path. 206 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 1: How important is it to allow the kids experience and 207 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: learn to work through adversity through their sport. I'm gonna 208 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 1: use an example doesn't involve sports. As a former mathematics teacher, 209 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 1: I had kids that came to class every day, They 210 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 1: did every homework assignment, They tried their rear ends off. 211 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: They were polite, they were respectful, they cared. They took 212 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 1: a test, they got a sixty on it. I didn't say, 213 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: you know what, they did all their work. They're a 214 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: nice kid. Let me give him a beast. No, they 215 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 1: gotta They gott a mask. And what happens is dealing 216 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: with failure. That's dealing with something didn't go right. So 217 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 1: now it's my job not to make it easy on 218 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 1: them by giving them a nice grade, by get them 219 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: the grade they deserve, but then helping him understand so 220 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: they can figure out what did they do wrong because 221 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 1: they put in all the effort, but something wasn't done 222 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 1: the right way, so they didn't have success on that test. 223 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 1: It's my job as a teacher that make them deal 224 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 1: with failure, but make them understand and how to grow 225 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: from failure. And I believe that's huge from a teaching standpoint. 226 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 1: That's what I do in coaching, and it's what I 227 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: do as a parent. It's the way I handle it. 228 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,679 Speaker 1: I told my son all the time, I said, it's 229 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 1: not my job to prevent you from failing. It's my 230 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: job to help teach you how to stand up when 231 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: you fail. And it's what I tell my children, it's 232 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: what I tell my players, and it's the way I 233 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,680 Speaker 1: handle the classroom. Some of us have been down a 234 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: certain road and we don't want our children to go 235 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 1: through that road. And there's nothing worse and watching a 236 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: young person cry because they don't think they're good enough. 237 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 1: But we're failing them. If we do the job for them, 238 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 1: we're failing them. If we blind them or home away 239 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 1: from adversity. We have to make them deal with it, 240 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: and then as an adult, helped teach them how to 241 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 1: get up, how to dust themselves off, and how to 242 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 1: go at it differently. It's better prepared so they can 243 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 1: have success. And I think that's the biggest difference in 244 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: today's day and age compared to how it used to be. 245 00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 1: That's Frank Martin, University of South Carolina men's basketball head coach. 246 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,480 Speaker 1: After the break, Coach Martin and I will talk about 247 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: adversity and teaching kids how to deal with failure. I'm 248 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: Nick Boncourt and you're listening to the Reform Sports Project podcast. 249 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Reform Sports Project podcast. I'm Nick Bonecourt, 250 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,679 Speaker 1: and today we have Frank Martin men's basketball head coach 251 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: at the University of South Carolina. Where we left off, 252 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 1: we were discussing the importance of structure and preparing athletes 253 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 1: for the opportunity to be successful. Nowadays, you're paying the play. 254 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 1: So if I'm a parent, which i am, and there's 255 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 1: many that are, you're paying thousands of dollars coach for 256 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 1: a sports season that used to be kind of like 257 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: fifty bucks, you know whatever, and you're paying thousands of dollars. 258 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,120 Speaker 1: So you want to return on that investment. So what 259 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 1: return on an investment is, Well, we gotta chase trophies, right, 260 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: we gotta win. If I'm paying this money, I better 261 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,080 Speaker 1: be seeing my kid win and it better be setting 262 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: it up to get a scholarship down the road. So 263 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 1: it's almost like this whole mantra of we're always living 264 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 1: for in the home at trophies and this is building 265 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: up to a scholarship down to talk about win it 266 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 1: all costs and the difference at least what you think 267 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,439 Speaker 1: of win it all costs, because I think there's a 268 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: difference at every level, but college livelihoods and professional are 269 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 1: paid to win, right, but not so much at nine, 270 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 1: ten eleven. Keep talking a little bit about win it 271 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 1: all costs and the differences of the youth and college 272 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,400 Speaker 1: and professional level. You just said one of the biggest 273 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: problems we have. It's been new to basketball. Used to 274 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,200 Speaker 1: be like one AU team maybe two per state. They 275 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 1: had tryouts, you made the team, you didn't make the team. 276 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 1: You didn't make the team, pretty much done. You went 277 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 1: back and just worked on your game all summer your 278 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 1: high school, or you went out and played baseball or whatever. 279 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 1: Now there's seven AU team for every neighborhood, so they've 280 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: got to have enough people to play. So then parents 281 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: are paying all this money for their child to be 282 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 1: on the team. Well, if you hit rewind And I'm 283 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,320 Speaker 1: not saying the way it used to be is better 284 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 1: and this way is wrong. I'm just comparing. We grew 285 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,840 Speaker 1: up playing at the park, Well, the park is free. 286 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: Now if you're are it, shows up at the park 287 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,320 Speaker 1: to complain because they didn't let you play, or you 288 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,640 Speaker 1: only played one game previous weekend or whatever it may be. 289 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 1: They're not going to disrespect your parents, but your parents 290 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:12,439 Speaker 1: are gonna leave. Next time you show up at the park, 291 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,319 Speaker 1: someone's will whoop your rear in, or you're never or 292 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 1: you're never gonna be allowed to play again. Being a 293 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 1: cry baby and not standing up and owning up to 294 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: your responsibilities now, because parents pay all this money, and 295 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: then not only do they pay money for their child 296 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 1: to be on a team, but then they have to 297 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: spend their money so they can travel to go support 298 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 1: their children. And it's not just one weekend, it's every weekend. Now. 299 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 1: Parents are invested, and if you're gonna ask them to 300 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,400 Speaker 1: be given all this money, it's hard as a person 301 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 1: that runs the club to then tell them that they 302 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: got to sit down and their opinions don't need to 303 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 1: be heard. I pay money for my children to play 304 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 1: in club teams, but I've lived the life of a coach, 305 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: so I go sit in a corner. I don't say 306 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 1: a work. As long as my kids are being treated 307 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 1: fairly and equally, I don't say a word. And when 308 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 1: I do have to say something, it's a conversation between 309 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 1: me and the coach or me and the club person privately. 310 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 1: It's not something out in front of everybody. And that's 311 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 1: the slippery slope that you're asking. Like high school teams. 312 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 1: Parents don't fund high school teams. The school does, so 313 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 1: it's easier to manage the parents because they're not financially invested. 314 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 1: When you're asking parents to give you all this money 315 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,680 Speaker 1: so and you can travel. And those parents want those 316 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: kids to play, and when they don't play, they're gonna 317 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 1: be mad. And my frustration is that when the parents 318 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: being upset, it's how they manage that moment when they 319 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 1: get upset. You can't be negative about other adults in 320 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: front of children, and unfortunately, we've created an atmosphere in 321 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:41,440 Speaker 1: youth sports where parents are always critical of coaches and referees, 322 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:44,200 Speaker 1: the other adults on the court in front of the children. 323 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,280 Speaker 1: That creates confusion for a child. That creates a moment 324 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 1: where now the child child don't understand the monetary component, 325 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: but the child doesn't understand, well, my mom my dad 326 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 1: thinks this adult over is, I don't know what he's doing, 327 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,760 Speaker 1: so I get to be critical too, and it creates 328 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: that problem for young people. There are a lot of kids, 329 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 1: a lot of parents that are listen to us, that 330 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: are trying, they're working hard, they listen. I firmly believe 331 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,440 Speaker 1: all of us as parents, we genuinely want and I 332 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 1: think there's a lot of people that just misinformed. They 333 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: don't know, they don't have the experience, and they're seeking it, 334 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 1: so they'll listen to this looking for tips, and their 335 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 1: kids want to be college athletes. They're doing they're trying 336 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: to do the right things. The parents support the kid 337 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: allow them to fail. How can kids come play in 338 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: the SEC? How can they come play for South Carolina 339 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 1: and then forget they're not good enough, they're not talent 340 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 1: enough to play at that level. How about just becoming 341 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,040 Speaker 1: a college athlete? A student athlete at the college level. 342 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: What's the best way to do it. I'll start with 343 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,040 Speaker 1: this one because this one's always fun to me. You 344 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,240 Speaker 1: start recruiting a young person and the parents say to you, well, 345 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: I really don't care about athletics. I'm all about academics. 346 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 1: Talk to me about the academics at your school. Well, 347 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 1: when I see the kids transcripts, it doesn't appear that 348 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: the parents very involved in the academics at the high school. Level. 349 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 1: So that was always that line always find interesting. So 350 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 1: I say that because first and foremost young people need 351 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 1: to have discipline and everything that they do in order 352 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,960 Speaker 1: to have success at the collegiate level. So you, as 353 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,120 Speaker 1: a parent, better make sure that academically there is an 354 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:12,359 Speaker 1: environmental structure of direction and guidance at the high school level. 355 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,639 Speaker 1: And it can't be because of sports. It has to 356 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 1: be because of life. Then if once you take care 357 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,000 Speaker 1: of that part, and then you add the part about sports, 358 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,120 Speaker 1: because because here's the deal. Playing sports is a privilege. 359 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,920 Speaker 1: It's not a given, it's not a right. And if 360 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 1: you want people to understand it that way, then you 361 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,359 Speaker 1: better make them earn their way on the court. What 362 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 1: I do with my children as I make them to 363 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,360 Speaker 1: school work, I gotta make sure a do school work 364 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 1: and that teaches them work ethic, attention to detail, focus, 365 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,880 Speaker 1: working to achieve something which is better grades and then 366 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 1: obviously that creates knowledge and then that gives them the 367 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 1: privilege of playing the sport. Secondly, when it comes to 368 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 1: playing the sport, you can't make it happen. There's no 369 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:54,400 Speaker 1: magic Wand I tell kids all the time and their 370 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 1: parents and are recruited, I hear people say all the 371 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,119 Speaker 1: time we make pros. Let me tell you something. I've 372 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 1: been doing this dirty five years and I've coached guys 373 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,439 Speaker 1: that have played seventeen years in the NBA that I 374 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: am as close to as any other human being in 375 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 1: the world. If I had a magic formula to make 376 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 1: a probe, my guys will be in the NBA right now. Unfortunately, 377 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 1: that's not the way it works. I can't make it happen. 378 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,919 Speaker 1: All I can do is teach and prepare them for 379 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,359 Speaker 1: the day they get an opportunity they can succeed. And 380 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 1: it's the same way I spent sixteen years as a 381 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:31,440 Speaker 1: high school coach. I can't guarantee those players scholarships. There's 382 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:35,440 Speaker 1: nothing I can do that guarantees them scholarships. All they 383 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,119 Speaker 1: can do is work their tails off and be a 384 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 1: good team. May be a good student. That way, Whenever 385 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,359 Speaker 1: somebody at the collegiate level shows interest in that young person, 386 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,399 Speaker 1: I can convince them as a coach that they're about 387 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,640 Speaker 1: all the right things. They have a work ethic, look 388 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 1: at their grades academically, They're gonna do what they're supposed 389 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,400 Speaker 1: to do. They don't get in trouble off the court, 390 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: so they're gonna protect you in your community. Then lastly, 391 00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 1: look how much better this young person has gotten every 392 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,880 Speaker 1: you're in high school, so guess well, when he gets 393 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 1: to your campus, he's gonna keep getting better. That means 394 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,400 Speaker 1: he's gonna help you win games. And parents, sometimes they 395 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 1: want to put the cart in front of the horse, 396 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,920 Speaker 1: and there's no shortcut. I heard someone say to the the 397 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,240 Speaker 1: other day, I'm gonna use professional basketball, but it's the 398 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: same for all the professional sports. That's an exclusive club. 399 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,959 Speaker 1: Not everyone is allowed in that club. It's not just 400 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 1: how how you can jump or how fast you can 401 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 1: run to get you into the club. There's a lot 402 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,399 Speaker 1: of things you need, and God's blessing comes first and foremost. 403 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 1: But that club is not for everybody, and eventually we're 404 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 1: all gonna have to understand and deal with that one. 405 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,040 Speaker 1: But that's what I would say. Just make sure that 406 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:43,680 Speaker 1: your child is accepting coaching, accepting discipline, accepting growth. Let 407 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,439 Speaker 1: it happen. Here's something I love listening. I'm not a 408 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 1: great reader. I read, but I'm more of a listener. 409 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,719 Speaker 1: So when people speak, I really pay attention. And I 410 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,640 Speaker 1: was driving in my car middle of the season last year. 411 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 1: Now I was frustrated because we're a really young team 412 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: and we weren't playing as well as I needed to play. 413 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: There's a motivational speaker in a radio station and he said, 414 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 1: always remember this. I have no idea why this guy 415 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 1: said this on this day, but it helped me and 416 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,560 Speaker 1: I used it for my team. I allowed me to 417 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: coaching better. He said, whenever you're trying to get a 418 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 1: rose to bloom, you can't make it bloom bigger or 419 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 1: faster than it's destined to bloom. All you can do 420 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 1: is keep putting water on it and allow it to 421 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:26,199 Speaker 1: bloom at its own rate into its own size. The 422 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,439 Speaker 1: same way we're coaching young it's the same way we're 423 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,639 Speaker 1: raising kids and coaching kids. You can't make them grow 424 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,800 Speaker 1: any bigger or any faster than they're destined to be. 425 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 1: All you can do is keep feeding them, education, feeding them, 426 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,719 Speaker 1: and feeding them, and allow them to grow at your 427 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: own rate. Coach Martin, that was awesome. I cannot thank 428 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 1: you enough. Frank Martin, South Carolina game comp man. I 429 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,280 Speaker 1: probably couldn't bention pounds, but I want to go throw 430 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 1: and try to put it up there and they'll probably die. 431 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,880 Speaker 1: But you got me you got me fire fired up. Coach. 432 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your time. I'm truly humbled. 433 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,879 Speaker 1: Keep going what you're doing. Man. We all need to 434 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 1: learn and the only way we learn is by folks 435 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 1: like you putting certain things out there for everyone to 436 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,520 Speaker 1: listen and learn from. And a lot of respect. Grateful 437 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,239 Speaker 1: for your coach, Keep up the great work man. Really 438 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,919 Speaker 1: appreciate you, sir An. Thanks to Frank Martin, University of 439 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: South Carolina men's basketball head coach for joining me on 440 00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:17,439 Speaker 1: the Reform Sports Project podcast. Thanks for listening to the 441 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:21,160 Speaker 1: Reform Sports Project podcast. I'm Nick Bonacourt and our goal 442 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 1: is to restore healthy, balance and perspective in all areas 443 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:28,720 Speaker 1: of sport through education and advocacy. For updates, please follow 444 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, or check out our 445 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,720 Speaker 1: website by searching for the Reform Sports Project