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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters, one dating app then dares you swipe right.

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Speaker 1: The question is whose love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 2: It's Battle Love the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 3: It's the dating game show that's helping you spice things

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Speaker 3: up in the bedroom by putting giant googly eyes on

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Speaker 3: your partner.

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Speaker 2: Battle of the Tender Dates, where two.

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Speaker 3: Of our listeners go head to head to find out

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Speaker 3: whose dating life is the most tragic. And today it's

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Speaker 3: a special Battle of the Sexes edition, Man versus woman Who's.

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Speaker 2: Got it worse in the dating world. We're gonna decide

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Speaker 2: once and for all.

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Speaker 3: We'll explain the rules in just a second, but let's

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Speaker 3: meet today's contestants first. In this corner, he can assemble

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Speaker 3: an Ikea bookshelf in under seven minutes using nothing but

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Speaker 3: his teeth and one extra durable appendage.

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Speaker 2: That's why they call him power Drill. Will know it's

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Speaker 2: just required out for the most part, Right.

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Speaker 4: Well, I use both, Okay, that's how it's done.

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Speaker 3: And in the other corner, her favorite type of foreplay

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Speaker 3: is when you threaten her with legal action and send

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Speaker 3: her a court summons in the mail.

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Speaker 2: Say hello to Subpoena Serena Ristina here's how the game works.

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Speaker 3: One contestant will start by telling one of their worst

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Speaker 3: date stories, than the other will try and counter with

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Speaker 3: the nightmare story of their own. We're going back and

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Speaker 3: forth for three rounds until we declare a winner. And

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Speaker 3: in the spirit of chivalry, today we're doing ladies first.

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Speaker 3: So subpoena, serena, you're up.

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Speaker 1: I actually met my sender date at a coffee shop

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Speaker 1: and we were just talking about our hobbies, and that's

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Speaker 1: when he told me he could just show me his hobbies.

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Speaker 2: Oh my, whatever it is, I'm excited, saying, it's so much.

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Speaker 1: Worse than juggling, trust me.

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Speaker 2: Okay? Was it?

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Speaker 1: He pulled out bubble wrap out of his backpack.

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Speaker 5: Okay.

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Speaker 4: He told me that he.

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Speaker 1: Is a competitive bubble wrap popper and he started to

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Speaker 1: it so loud.

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Speaker 2: That's a thing. Wait, was it impressive? How turned on?

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Speaker 1: Were you not turned on at all? It was honestly

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Speaker 1: really embarrassing and a little.

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Speaker 2: How could you turn the bubble popping champ down? He

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Speaker 2: didn't say, he was yeah, cowards, real? Will can you counter?

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Speaker 4: I went on this date with this girl and she

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Speaker 4: texted me a link afterwards and I opened it and

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Speaker 4: it said, here are some live results on like a TikTok,

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Speaker 4: and it was ranking me along with ten other guys

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Speaker 4: that she had recently gone out with.

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Speaker 1: Wait, out of ten, where did you land?

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Speaker 4: Bro?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a little offensive.

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Speaker 1: He may have felt good if he was number one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, d Yeah, Well, first I was ranked top three,

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Speaker 4: and then I checked it all week and Saturday night

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Speaker 4: I dropped number seven.

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Speaker 2: Oh darning, he checked it out.

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Speaker 3: All right, We're on to round two in our special

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Speaker 3: Battle of the Tinder Dates Guys versus Gal's edition. Who

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Speaker 3: has it worse in the dating world, Serena, We're.

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Speaker 2: Back to you.

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Speaker 1: I went to a restaurant to meet up with my guy, okay,

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Speaker 1: except he looked way younger than I thought he would,

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Speaker 1: and I sat down and I actually started to think

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Speaker 1: I was being captain.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, this is the right guy.

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Speaker 1: It was so uncomfortable because he then told me that

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Speaker 1: he's actually twenty years old, and it was his dad

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Speaker 1: that was texting me the entire time.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, what do you mean?

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Speaker 1: He told me he was just having a hard time

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Speaker 1: with the ladies, so his dad helped him to get

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Speaker 1: a date.

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Speaker 5: Oh dad, with the assists he showed up up something

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Speaker 5: will time to hit back.

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Speaker 4: I had this girl invite me to a pop up

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Speaker 4: art show and I.

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Speaker 2: Was like, oh cool, nice, I love art. That awesome.

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Speaker 4: Well, this is how it went down. We're driving through

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Speaker 4: this residential neighborhood and we went into a house and

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Speaker 4: it turned out she had taped up childhood drawings in

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Speaker 4: her own basement and placed a single flashlight on the

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Speaker 4: floor for what she called ambiance.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you, even.

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Speaker 1: Though you're a man, you shouldn't go into a stranger's.

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Speaker 2: Base, even if there is just finger paints lights in there. Flashlights.

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Speaker 3: We are onto the third and final round of Battle

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Speaker 3: of the Tinder Dates guys versus gals.

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Speaker 2: We need your best stories here, so subpoenas arena? What

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Speaker 2: have you got?

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Speaker 1: This one still gives me nightmares because we had a

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Speaker 1: nice time. But at the end, we ordered dessert and

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Speaker 1: this guy started having an allergic reaction. While you're eating desserts.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, what'd you do?

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Speaker 1: Well? He actually reached into his jacket pocket he grabbed

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Speaker 1: like one of those FTI pens and he actually shoved

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Speaker 1: it into his neck.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's kind of a badass move.

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Speaker 1: It was awful. I freaked out. We left, but then

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Speaker 1: when we got to his car, he started laughing hysterically.

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Speaker 1: He turned to me and says, it worked. We got

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Speaker 1: a free meal.

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Speaker 2: It was a set. No.

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Speaker 1: No, he bought a fake e fi pen on the

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Speaker 1: dark web.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I think, get you really sick after this, Masse.

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Speaker 2: I thought you were just heartless. I thought she was gross.

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Speaker 2: Got a great life hack.

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Speaker 5: Okay, good luck top and that listen.

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Speaker 4: I'm a pretty adventurous outdoorsy guy. And I was really

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Speaker 4: psyched because we went paddle boy together. Okayay, everything was

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Speaker 4: going well on the date, but out of nowhere, she

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Speaker 4: jumps in the water and then tells me she can't

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Speaker 4: swim and starts drowning. Oh god, Thankfully I was able

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Speaker 4: to get her out of the water and I pulled

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Speaker 4: her back up on board. That is when she told

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Speaker 4: me that she can actually swim, and she has this

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Speaker 4: lifeguard fantasy of being saved that she wanted to play out.

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Speaker 2: I'll give me a head.

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Speaker 1: I used to pretend like I drowned for my little

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Speaker 1: sister and make her save me.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it was too much. She kept doing it.

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Speaker 4: She did it two more times a day.

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Speaker 2: Let's get I was really working for her.

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Speaker 1: Good for you.

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Speaker 3: That's the final bell and we need to score this,

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Speaker 3: so let's go to the judges.

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Speaker 1: Alexis, who are you giving it to the EpiPen and

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Speaker 1: set up with the sun.

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Speaker 2: That's one vote for Serena Brooke. God, they're both so bad,

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Speaker 2: but that fake EpiPen.

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Speaker 5: I can't get over again.

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Speaker 3: Congraduals subpoena Surina, you are our super hero of single them.

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Speaker 2: How does it feel?

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you what it feels good to know I

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Speaker 1: have a horrible dating history.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's not yell, it's them. Yeah, right now.

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Speaker 3: The women have it worse and text in is seven

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Speaker 3: eighty five nine two. If you want to appear on

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Speaker 3: the next edition of Battle of the Tender Dates, we

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Speaker 3: got your phone tap coming up right after this.

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Speaker 1: Frooking Jeffrey in the morning,