Speaker 1: The biggest drug. It's not cocaine, it's not heroin, it's
Speaker 1: not molly or Opioid's biggest drug's fame. Anything you want,
Speaker 1: everything you want. It's a thing. And if you can't
Speaker 1: handle this thing, the consequence is attached. Are severe? Do
Speaker 1: you know you? And are you okay with you? If
Speaker 1: you are not, it'll break.
Speaker 2: Hey. Everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one
Speaker 2: health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every
Speaker 2: one of you that come back every week to become happier, healthier,
Speaker 2: and more healed. And I'm so grateful for this community
Speaker 2: that we have here because I get to sit down
Speaker 2: with some of the most incredible minds in the world,
Speaker 2: people that I find fascinating not just personally and professionally,
Speaker 2: but because of the potential and the purpose that they have.
Speaker 2: Today's guest is someone who has been on my list
Speaker 2: to interview from day one, so it's a very special
Speaker 2: moment for me. I'm very excited. I'm speaking about someone
Speaker 2: the one and only Kevin Hart, Hollywood's box office powerhouse,
Speaker 2: opening eleven films at number one at the box office
Speaker 2: and grossing more than four point two three billion dollars
Speaker 2: in global revenue. Kevin has also become a successful entrepreneur.
Speaker 2: He's a chairman of Heartbeat, a global multimedia platform company
Speaker 2: creating entertainment at the intersection of comedy and culture with
Speaker 2: a mission to keep the world laughing together. I love that.
Speaker 2: Kevin is also the founder of Heartbeat Ventures. Kevin is
Speaker 2: the New York Times best selling author twice over, and
Speaker 2: his first audible original, The Decision, was nominated for an
Speaker 2: Audio Award for Best Original Audiobook. And I spent my
Speaker 2: last five hikes listening to his new audiobook, Monsters and
Speaker 2: How to Tame Them. And I have to tell you,
Speaker 2: and I'm going to tell Kevin right now because he's
Speaker 2: sitting in front of me. Dude, I have not been
Speaker 2: that into something for a long long time. And I'll
Speaker 2: tell you why. I have not stopped talking about the
Speaker 2: different monsters, the different personalities, to my wife, my team,
Speaker 2: to my colleagues. You've made it so relevant and accessible
Speaker 2: to talk about your flaws in a way that I've
Speaker 2: never seen before. So thank you so much for being here, man,
Speaker 2: and thank you so grateful to be sitting with you.
Speaker 1: Thank you, and you know, you know when flowers are
Speaker 1: thrown out, I believe that they should, uh, they should
Speaker 1: sometimes be returned and in this case, Man, I'm here
Speaker 1: for a reason. The work that you've done, success that
Speaker 1: you've had is groundbreaking. So major congrats to you. I
Speaker 1: just want to say there's an there's an equal level
Speaker 1: of appreciation and excitement for the moment. Man, You've done
Speaker 1: some groundbreaking podcast your guests to how you've gotten people
Speaker 1: open up, the conversations that you've had. More importantly, you know,
Speaker 1: the lives that you're saving by just being transparent, authentic
Speaker 1: and true to who you are. I think it's it's
Speaker 1: dope as hell. So, uh, it's an honor the sit
Speaker 1: across from you. I'm excited about the conversation and it's
Speaker 1: one that's been on my list as well. So I'm
Speaker 1: glad that you know, we finally got it worked out.
Speaker 1: It's where we can make this happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you. Man. That's that's very kind and it's
Speaker 2: really beautiful hearing that from you, honestly, So let's dive
Speaker 2: in before we keep going back and forth with Roses.
Speaker 1: Let's go.
Speaker 2: Let's get it. You know. One of the things I
Speaker 2: want to start off and this is going to take
Speaker 2: us anywhere and everywhere is how does it feel when
Speaker 2: you're winning and then you discover you got monsters? Because
Speaker 2: that's kind of the journey you've been on. And I
Speaker 2: want to go back and forth in this journey, but
Speaker 2: I want to start there, like, what does it feel
Speaker 2: like when you're winning, you're succeeding, but then you all
Speaker 2: of a sudden go, I've still got monsters in there?
Speaker 1: You know when you say and use the the word monsters,
Speaker 1: just for clarity so people can understand. Of course, we're
Speaker 1: talking about the different levels to you, right and within
Speaker 1: the levels that I've discovered in myself of myself, you know,
Speaker 1: you got your good versions and your band versions and
Speaker 1: the bad versions I refer to as monsters, but just
Speaker 1: because they're bad doesn't mean they don't have good quality.
Speaker 1: And when you're winning and you're succeeding, there's this idea
Speaker 1: that everything is right. There's this idea that perfection is
Speaker 1: now presented itself in life. Moving forward is going to
Speaker 1: be just an easy road. And it's not until you're
Speaker 1: in that position where you expect perfection and you think
Speaker 1: that that you start to see the true problems and
Speaker 1: flaws really present themselves and you know, my monsters have
Speaker 1: been masked in disguise in various different ways, but I've
Speaker 1: been able to pinpoint them throughout the years because some
Speaker 1: of those monsters grew got stronger developed. You're talking about
Speaker 1: the world of an ego, the idea of who you
Speaker 1: think you are versus what you are, or the idea
Speaker 1: of expectations and needs as to what you feel you
Speaker 1: need and what you have to have. That's a that's
Speaker 1: a monster that's feeding that right that that engine of well,
Speaker 1: now that I'm making money, this is what I should have,
Speaker 1: this is how I should look, this is how I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be. That's a monster that you're feeding, because
Speaker 1: ultimately you're buying into something that you're creating. You're you're
Speaker 1: enhancing this world of thought. And it's not till you
Speaker 1: sit down and you take a breather and you start
Speaker 1: to really kind of you start to really figure out
Speaker 1: the true definition of happiness for you, You start to
Speaker 1: really understand, uh, the adult that you have grown into
Speaker 1: and the level of maturity that has now I guess
Speaker 1: you can say have been banked inside the the the
Speaker 1: human that you are. It's you're banking so much over
Speaker 1: the years and ultimately you're you're shaping and molding yourself
Speaker 1: into this this grounded hopefully, this grounded individual that you're
Speaker 1: proud to look at in the mirror. At the end
Speaker 1: of the day, I had to start to I had
Speaker 1: to get to a place to where I was looking
Speaker 1: in the mirror and I was proud of what I
Speaker 1: was looking at, and I was okay with checking myself.
Speaker 1: I was okay with pointing out my flaws. I was
Speaker 1: okay with knowing what I do well and what I
Speaker 1: do wrong. And at the end of the day, there's
Speaker 1: no consequence to always improving, there's no consequence to growing.
Speaker 1: You're in the time now where people almost frown upon
Speaker 1: the world of growth, I embraced at I embraced the
Speaker 1: world of correction. So the monsters and the world of
Speaker 1: how to tame them came from me understanding the different
Speaker 1: levels of monsters that have presented themselves to me over
Speaker 1: the years, and me getting them to a point to
Speaker 1: where I put them in a place where I can
Speaker 1: control them. They're still there. They can rear their heads,
Speaker 1: but I can say sit down, that's not necessary, that's
Speaker 1: not needed, And I can tell when one is trying
Speaker 1: to take me back to a place of old. But
Speaker 1: at the age forty three, it's exciting to know that
Speaker 1: I've grown from so much and you know, the world
Speaker 1: of want is significantly different than what it once was.
Speaker 2: It's really interesting. You use the analogy of like looking
Speaker 2: in the mirror and being okay with yourself, And when
Speaker 2: you said that, I was thinking, Yeah, when you look
Speaker 2: in the mirror, there's no trophies. The reflection doesn't show
Speaker 2: the trophies, the wins, the money, that, whatever else. It
Speaker 2: just shows you you and the fact that you've had
Speaker 2: the courage to look at that. Where do you think
Speaker 2: when you track back. I've always been fascinated by memories
Speaker 2: that we hold from our childhood that have left an
Speaker 2: imprint that's really strong in our lives, whether it be positive, challenging,
Speaker 2: whatever it may be. What's a difficult memory from childhood?
Speaker 2: Do you think that has been the catalyst for so
Speaker 2: many things in your life? Is there anything that you
Speaker 2: go back to that you're like, I can see how
Speaker 2: that and I to turn that into a positive.
Speaker 1: I think the biggest memory for me is the one
Speaker 1: of being complacent. You know, as a child, I wasn't
Speaker 1: really a kid that embraced the world to challenge. Right.
Speaker 1: I was very complacent. I was okay with being a
Speaker 1: subpar to low average student. Right. I was okay with
Speaker 1: not trying. I was okay with not giving my all,
Speaker 1: and I was kind of okay with getting over. Right. So,
Speaker 1: the biggest memory that I have in my childhood is
Speaker 1: like when I got to that early teen years, at twelve,
Speaker 1: at thirteen, at fourteen, being sneaky and thinking that you're
Speaker 1: constantly one uping someone was the That's what I was
Speaker 1: embracing at the highest level. Do your homework, I did it?
Speaker 1: Did you really do your homework? I did it, and
Speaker 1: you taking my word for it and not checking my homework. Oh,
Speaker 1: I didn't do it, but you think I did. I
Speaker 1: got over ultimately year. You're slowly cheating yourself over the
Speaker 1: course of years, and it's not until you get a
Speaker 1: reality check as to why that work was necessary, as
Speaker 1: you realize you're just not doing what you're supposed to
Speaker 1: do with your life, right, You're not giving your all.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of different examples of that. I
Speaker 1: truly had a mom that made sure that I had
Speaker 1: and I didn't take advantage or embrace the real work
Speaker 1: that she put in until I got to an older
Speaker 1: age of true understanding. But to be honest, I really
Speaker 1: threw a lot of those things to the side. The
Speaker 1: extracurricular activities, the swim teams, the football teams, the basketball teams,
Speaker 1: the track and field, the baseball, all of these things.
Speaker 1: As a kid, you don't understand your parents are doing
Speaker 1: to try to provide you with the world of opportunity.
Speaker 1: They're trying to keep you occupied. They're trying to embrace
Speaker 1: this idea of hard work, effort, activity, engage. They're doing
Speaker 1: all these things or all of these things to their kids,
Speaker 1: or hopefully right for their kids, to put their kids
Speaker 1: in a position to just want right, want the best, compete, study, learn,
Speaker 1: be excited about their future. That light bulb went off late. Thankfully,
Speaker 1: when it went off, it went off at the right time,
Speaker 1: and I was able to identify a lot of stuff
Speaker 1: that I couldn't then. And also, thankfully that a lot
Speaker 1: of the lessons that my mom constantly embedded in me
Speaker 1: about you don't start things that you're not going to finish,
Speaker 1: You don't quit, apply your all, do this or don't
Speaker 1: do it. You're not cheating anybody but yourself. All of
Speaker 1: these things that I heard over the course of time,
Speaker 1: there was a moment when I got older it all
Speaker 1: hit at the same time. But the real memory for
Speaker 1: me now looking back is I'm glad that I do
Speaker 1: see that, that I am aware of that, because not
Speaker 1: being aware of that as the hugest loss, Thinking that
Speaker 1: I took full advantage, thinking that I really applied or
Speaker 1: tried myself, thinking that that was one hundred percent would
Speaker 1: be the real loss. So one of my best memories
Speaker 1: is knowing that at one point I was a slacker.
Speaker 1: You know, I was the guy that wanted to look
Speaker 1: like he was doing but never truly was unless it
Speaker 1: was something that I loved and embraced, and you know
Speaker 1: that was basketball. But the chances of me making that
Speaker 1: were very slow. But you know, that's to answer your question,
Speaker 1: it's a ballpark of those memories that I now look
Speaker 1: back on that I appreciate, but that also acts as
Speaker 1: the fuel for the hard work and one hundred percent
Speaker 1: that you see that I put into everything I do
Speaker 1: to that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's such a great reframe around what you saw
Speaker 2: as a bigger loss. I think that's so powerful for
Speaker 2: you to sit here and say, actually, I'm really happy
Speaker 2: that I can see that I wasn't putting my best
Speaker 2: foot forward, because that helps me be grateful to my mom.
Speaker 2: It helps me understand it from a different perspective. And
Speaker 2: the one thing that came to mind for me when
Speaker 2: I'm listening to you say that is there's this quote
Speaker 2: that says, the day you realize your parents were right,
Speaker 2: your kids are telling you that you're wrong.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: And that's always been one of those statements that I
Speaker 2: think about that in my own self, I thought my
Speaker 2: parents were wrong my entire teenage life, and I think
Speaker 2: most teenagers do. And then all of a sudden, I
Speaker 2: hit my mid twenties and I'm like, oh, wait a minute.
Speaker 2: My mom's been through a lot. You know, my parents
Speaker 2: put in a lot of sacrifice, and so I love
Speaker 2: that you brought that up. I mean, one of the
Speaker 2: reasons we pushed this showback was you lost your father recently.
Speaker 2: And when I heard the news, obviously you know my
Speaker 2: love and condolences to your family, and I was I
Speaker 2: was looking at what you were sharing and commenting about,
Speaker 2: and there was this one thing that you said that
Speaker 2: that really stuck with me, and you said that my
Speaker 2: kids actually think I'm the coolest dad on the planet.
Speaker 2: I know why I am the way I am. My
Speaker 2: dad has a lot to do with that. The mistakes
Speaker 2: that my dad made, you know, the decisions to do drugs,
Speaker 2: being in and out of jail, in and out of
Speaker 2: your lives. I saw firsthand what not being present did.
Speaker 2: Because of that, I now know what being present means.
Speaker 2: I know what I can do, I know what effect
Speaker 2: it can have her in your child coming up. But
Speaker 2: it sounded like, obviously when you lost your father recently,
Speaker 2: it sounds like you've you'd reconcile, like you'd built somewhat
Speaker 2: of a connection.
Speaker 1: You know, me and my dad, we we weren't the closest,
Speaker 1: but we weren't not close my dad at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, I'm gonna love my dad simply being
Speaker 1: my dad. Now my dad's life, you know, I had
Speaker 1: several different versions of drastic downs. Right, a small amount
Speaker 1: of ups, but a lot of downs. I can easily
Speaker 1: sit here and ridicule to judge my dad for the
Speaker 1: mistakes that he made or for his past, but that
Speaker 1: does nothing. I don't I don't like to focus on problem.
Speaker 1: My focus on solution. Yes, So with me and my dad.
Speaker 1: In our relationship, it was always one of solution, like
Speaker 1: you can't go back and fix the years that you
Speaker 1: weren't present. There's there is nothing that we can do
Speaker 1: about that time. We can have a conversation about it,
Speaker 1: you can talk about it, and then me and my
Speaker 1: dad talking. My biggest thing was you don't have to
Speaker 1: focus on what you can't change the fact that you're
Speaker 1: here now and that you made a decision to get
Speaker 1: clean to turn your life around. It's never too late.
Speaker 1: My dad was, you know, fifty plus at the time
Speaker 1: when he said, I'm gonna go ahead and figure it out,
Speaker 1: and i'ma I'm gonna close that door and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: work on this other door. This door over here was
Speaker 1: like I said, jail, drugs in and out of his
Speaker 1: kid's life. Uh, to the point where you know, there
Speaker 1: was a there's a time where we didn't know where
Speaker 1: my dad was and I bumped into my dad on
Speaker 1: the train. I tell a story. I bumped into my
Speaker 1: dad on a public transportation in Philadelphia, Like not seeing
Speaker 1: him in years, I randomly saw my dad and my
Speaker 1: dad was so embarrassed he got on the train and rant.
Speaker 1: But it's like that's that's where that world and that
Speaker 1: relationship was, and what I do very well. I don't
Speaker 1: hold on to grudges or gripes. It takes too much time,
Speaker 1: it takes too much energy. Things will work themselves out.
Speaker 1: They never not have it always work itself out. I mean,
Speaker 1: my dad worked it out right, like it's about the grandkids.
Speaker 1: And our relationship got better as he embraced the opportunity
Speaker 1: to be a great grandpa and seeing him try to
Speaker 1: do that right was his way of saying, I wish
Speaker 1: I could have done this right for you. I can't
Speaker 1: like I know what you're saying without saying it. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you don't need words, although some people do need them.
Speaker 1: Sometimes your actions are a little better. And my dad's
Speaker 1: actions and trying his best to be an unbelievable grandfather
Speaker 1: made our father son relationship that much better. And you know,
Speaker 1: there was a lot of conflict between my brother and
Speaker 1: my dad and seeing that men over the time and
Speaker 1: just saying, look, I'm not supposed to be here, dad,
Speaker 1: look at what your son has done. Look at where
Speaker 1: I am being that I can I want to make
Speaker 1: sure that you get to see some dope things in life. Here.
Speaker 1: Let's do this and take that and live like this
Speaker 1: and do so things work themselves out. His reward for
Speaker 1: giving his energy to something positive and life changing was
Speaker 1: his son becoming successful and his son saying, Dad, huh,
Speaker 1: it's not expected. That wasn't the plan. You got a
Speaker 1: great piece of light at the end of that dark
Speaker 1: tunnel that you didn't expect. That I didn't expect because
Speaker 1: I didn't expect to be here. So everything kind of
Speaker 1: it works itself out, and you know, and losing my
Speaker 1: dad is when you look back and you go, yo,
Speaker 1: he was all right right, like mind for reflection, my conversation,
Speaker 1: my words when I speak on behalf of my father
Speaker 1: so positive and dope because he did good. I'm all right.
Speaker 1: I came out okay, Mom, Dad, he did good. Like
Speaker 1: how whatever whatever you did to to put whatever recipe
Speaker 1: in this pot, the food came out all right. I'm
Speaker 1: a good person. I got a good heart. I treat
Speaker 1: people with respect. Ultimately, I want the most that I
Speaker 1: can possibly get out of life. I love to love.
Speaker 1: I'm a good dude. Am I perfect? No? I got
Speaker 1: some of them imperfections over there. I got some of
Speaker 1: the ones from over here for my man, Dad. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's life. Of course I'm gonna figure it out, but
Speaker 1: I figure it out without the want or need for problem.
Speaker 2: That's real, man. I mean listening to you said that,
Speaker 2: what I appreciate so much is about how you're changing
Speaker 2: on perspective again that often we feel to heal what
Speaker 2: was broken needs to be fixed. And actually what you've
Speaker 2: just said is seeing him try with the grind kids.
Speaker 2: That's not even the area that needed fixing or was broken,
Speaker 2: but seeing that starts to create some healing.
Speaker 1: That's the best example that I can ask for. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's not about it's not about us, right Like
Speaker 1: me and my ex wife got to a point of realization,
Speaker 1: you know, after having a significant amount of ups and downs,
Speaker 1: you know, after our the voice, we got to a
Speaker 1: point where you realize it's not about us. Like we
Speaker 1: did it. We had our opportunity and we're now adults.
Speaker 1: How we choose to live as adults, Well that's a
Speaker 1: choice that we make. But we're trying to make the
Speaker 1: best choices so that they have a better life. So
Speaker 1: it's about them. When I see somebody making the efforts
Speaker 1: to make life for them better, well then we're on
Speaker 1: the same page.
Speaker 2: Have the same vision.
Speaker 1: We have the same vision. It's not it's not about
Speaker 1: us at this point. It's not about us as a generation.
Speaker 1: At this point, it's about us trying our best to
Speaker 1: do things to create change, to move ground, shift the
Speaker 1: gear so that they have a much better opportunity than
Speaker 1: what we did. That's that's the world of the buttime
Speaker 1: being passed correctly. And if you understand that you have
Speaker 1: that mindset, you approach your day to day differently. And
Speaker 1: I do. I do have that mindset, and it's one
Speaker 1: thing that I'm very thankful for. And through the things
Speaker 1: that should be problems or were supposed to be problems,
Speaker 1: I've never held on to them long enough. And by
Speaker 1: the way, just bringing it back for a circle, that's
Speaker 1: a monster, that grudge monster. That's a monster that I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get you you back. I'm on wait, you just watch.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hold on net and I'm gonna prove to you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you or I'm not talking to nobody
Speaker 1: over here. That's a monster. So you can feel that
Speaker 1: monster or that monster doesn't have to have an existence
Speaker 1: in me.
Speaker 2: Hey everyone, it's Jay Schetty and I'm thrilled to announce
Speaker 2: my podcast tour for the first time ever. You can
Speaker 2: see my on Purpose podcast live and in person. Join
Speaker 2: me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations
Speaker 2: with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert,
Speaker 2: or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences
Speaker 2: designed to inspire growth, spark learning, and build real connections.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on
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Speaker 2: It's really really interesting hearing that perspective again because one
Speaker 2: of my favorite lessons that I've learned is that often
Speaker 2: the thing that's holding you back is something you're holding onto.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's one of my.
Speaker 2: Favorite lessons, the idea that something that's holding you back
Speaker 2: is you're holding onto it. So, whether it's a grudge
Speaker 2: like you're saying the grudge Monster, or a feeling or
Speaker 2: an emotion or an idea, that you're not allowing it
Speaker 2: to let go when it no longer serves you, and
Speaker 2: being able to walk away from that requires real strength
Speaker 2: and courage. But one of the things that you said
Speaker 2: about you and your partner your ex wife that I
Speaker 2: think is really powerful is that when it's just about us,
Speaker 2: whoever that may be, you're either looking at each other
Speaker 2: or you're looking past each other. And what you just
Speaker 2: said is now we're looking in the same direction when
Speaker 2: it's the kids. And so that switch. If you think
Speaker 2: about any relationship in our life, when we think it's
Speaker 2: just about us, when it's not about anyone else, you're
Speaker 2: always going to be against each other. But as soon
Speaker 2: as there's a higher purpose, or there's a commitment, or
Speaker 2: there's a value that's super and understanding and understanding and
Speaker 2: understanding that comes with the world of communication and great dialogue.
Speaker 2: I can you know, and having this conversation, I can
Speaker 2: point to so many examples of how it's so hard
Speaker 2: to see the good if.
Speaker 1: You're only seeing the bad. Like there's so many people
Speaker 1: that struggle with their version of successes because they're looking
Speaker 1: at someone else's. There's so many people that struggle with
Speaker 1: their world of relationship because they're judging theirs based off
Speaker 1: of someone else's right. And when you're constantly in the
Speaker 1: space of not realizing or noticing your world, your reality
Speaker 1: because you're living in what appears to be someone else's, well,
Speaker 1: your shit is never gonna be right. It's never gonna
Speaker 1: be right.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Like if I'm looking at everybody's relationship with their father
Speaker 1: and I'm going I want that, Yeah, well, I'm not
Speaker 1: embracing the world of good that came from my dad.
Speaker 1: I could have went down the road that my dad did.
Speaker 1: I could have easily been wrapped into the same world
Speaker 1: of you know, drugs, gangs, violence, stick up boys, right,
Speaker 1: like the embracing the hood at the highest level. Not
Speaker 1: that I don't, because I do, that's where I'm from,
Speaker 1: but I could I could have embraced it at a
Speaker 1: much higher level and followed in the footsteps of my
Speaker 1: father because that's what he did. But I was able
Speaker 1: to realize the mistakes he made. I was able to
Speaker 1: go I don't want to go down that street because
Speaker 1: I see the consequences of it. That's a choice that
Speaker 1: I made, right. Some don't make that choice, by the way,
Speaker 1: no disrespect that those that haven't. It's to each his own.
Speaker 1: You do what you want based off of who you've
Speaker 1: seen or what you want to be true to live
Speaker 1: your life. Ultimately, we get one live it for you.
Speaker 1: Live it to the best, to the best space and
Speaker 1: place that you feel you can win at. That's my motto.
Speaker 1: I'm not here to tell you right for wrong. I'm
Speaker 1: saying identify things differently, and I make decisions based off
Speaker 1: of examples that I can look at as not bad,
Speaker 1: but ones that if I didn't have, I could have
Speaker 1: made that mistake. So without a lesson, that was intentional.
Speaker 1: My dad's given me lessons, right, it's not intentional. My
Speaker 1: dad never said I went to jail so you didn't
Speaker 1: have to. He never said that. But hey, man, seeing
Speaker 1: you in jail, Dad, that just made me realize I
Speaker 1: don't want to go there, hearing how you talk about it,
Speaker 1: hearing how many times you went, But I don't want
Speaker 1: to go there. Seeing what drugs did to you and
Speaker 1: you talking and telling the stories what you lost, what
Speaker 1: you had, Well, I don't want to do that. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm going to embrace my father. I'm going
Speaker 1: to embrace this imperfect human being because I'd be damned
Speaker 1: if he's not, if he's not positioning me for personal
Speaker 1: success in just understanding what I should and shouldn't do.
Speaker 1: And it seems so logical, it seems like common sense.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's not that easy. For some it's not that easy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And sometimes what I'm hearing is sometimes the greatest
Speaker 2: wisdom is unsaid and unintentional, right, Like, sometimes the greatest
Speaker 2: wisdom is not what someone said to you. And sometimes
Speaker 2: the greatest wisdom is knowing what not to do. I
Speaker 2: think we think of it as like knowledge or learning
Speaker 2: means someone's telling me what to do, and they told
Speaker 2: me the right thing. Sometimes it's looking and saying, well,
Speaker 2: I know what not to do now and what I'm
Speaker 2: fascinated doing. And I think You're going to give people
Speaker 2: a lot of hope listening to you today, because when
Speaker 2: you say that you are complacent growing up, and I
Speaker 2: consider you today to probably be one of the hardest
Speaker 2: working people in entertainment from what I see and observe,
Speaker 2: and when I've watched your interviews or listen to you,
Speaker 2: you work super hard. You give it, you're all, You're
Speaker 2: invested from a mission purpose point of view. But hey,
Speaker 2: wait a minute, this person says I was complacent growing up,
Speaker 2: and it's never one moment, it's never one thing. So
Speaker 2: I don't even want to simplify it with that kind
Speaker 2: of a question. And what are the shifts that needed
Speaker 2: to take place in order for you to go from
Speaker 2: being complacent to being one of the hardest working people
Speaker 2: who's committed to something.
Speaker 1: I'm big on, just like logic, right? And there's this
Speaker 1: there's this like moment that I had where I just
Speaker 1: kept saying why not? Like why right? And Russell Westbrook
Speaker 1: is a good friend of mine. I tease him all
Speaker 1: the time because the one saying that he has that
Speaker 1: I wish I would have had or I wish I
Speaker 1: got to first, is why not? Right? And it's so genius.
Speaker 1: It's so genius. It's so simple, but yet so profound.
Speaker 1: You don't just have to have one job and working
Speaker 1: any job, and whether their job is a nine to
Speaker 1: five or whether it's you know, half a day, full day,
Speaker 1: whatever it is. You don't just have to do one thing.
Speaker 1: You can do a lot of different things. But there's
Speaker 1: this weird this is mindset that a lot of people
Speaker 1: have that you can only do one thing. And when
Speaker 1: I realized, I don't have to just do one thing.
Speaker 1: I can do a lot of different things. You can
Speaker 1: be good at a lot of different things. But you
Speaker 1: don't know that you're good at a lot of different
Speaker 1: things unless you try a lot of different things. And
Speaker 1: when I looked around and I kind of just realized
Speaker 1: how the world goes around. It's all based off of creativity.
Speaker 1: It's all based off of ideas. It's all based off
Speaker 1: of thought provoking then groundbreaking opportunities. But the simplest things
Speaker 1: have come from an idea, from your chair to your table,
Speaker 1: to your wheel, to your light bulb, to your car,
Speaker 1: to your plane, to your helicopter, to the idea of
Speaker 1: a hotel, from hotels going to a place, of people
Speaker 1: renting out houses and being bes to taxis to then
Speaker 1: people driving their own cars, and these all ideas and
Speaker 1: the groundbreaking thought that I had and realizing all these
Speaker 1: ideas is that these ideas have the potential to touch
Speaker 1: the sky if a person believes that they can. If
Speaker 1: a person believes that they can, well, your world of
Speaker 1: idea changes your reason for getting up, your reason for
Speaker 1: putting your feet on the ground every morning. It can
Speaker 1: change if you believe that the purpose that you now
Speaker 1: have and that you're working towards based off of an idea,
Speaker 1: it's something that you can succeed in. I grasped that
Speaker 1: understanding and I attached it to everything that I tried
Speaker 1: to do. I did not set out to be the actor,
Speaker 1: the director, the writer, the producer, the CEO, the chair men,
Speaker 1: the advice. I did not set out to do anything.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna make it very clear, I don't have
Speaker 1: the educational background for any of these things. What I
Speaker 1: had was an idea to try, and after you get
Speaker 1: an idea to try, what I had was the patience
Speaker 1: to sit and listen, be a sponge, learn figure it
Speaker 1: out and figuring it out. There was another side of
Speaker 1: not being okay with the incomplete version of figuring out
Speaker 1: the thing that I didn't do well. Why did I
Speaker 1: go ask all these questions, but I'm not gonna try it.
Speaker 1: Now that I know how, all right, let me try it.
Speaker 1: The only consequence is failure. By the way, not trying
Speaker 1: is failing. I wanna make that very clear. Not trying
Speaker 1: is failing. There's a lot of things that people can't
Speaker 1: do simply because you've never tried to do it. And
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you should try everything. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that you're supposed to do everything. I'm saying that
Speaker 1: for me, when someone says something and I go, now,
Speaker 1: I never did that, I have to have a reason
Speaker 1: for why I've never done it and a justification. If
Speaker 1: you ask me something, I go no, and you just
Speaker 1: say why, and I go, that's not good enough for me.
Speaker 1: I like to have a reason why. And that's that's
Speaker 1: the foundation that I stand on. That's how I built
Speaker 1: this mindset, this this level of energy to go ahead,
Speaker 1: rhyme and reason within my why why not? It's the
Speaker 1: Russ again. I love you to death, my brother. It's
Speaker 1: the one that got away from me. And you're a
Speaker 1: genius for saying it because it's so simple but yet
Speaker 1: so profound. So everything that I'm doing that I'm attempting
Speaker 1: to do it is because I started so much and
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to finish it. Yeah, And I like
Speaker 1: the fact that I'm forty three and I still got
Speaker 1: energy behind what it is that I'm trying to do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like it's like where you're going is
Speaker 2: not as important as who you're growing into. For that direction,
Speaker 2: like the person that you're evolving into, the things you
Speaker 2: have to learn, the things you have to be surrounded by.
Speaker 2: And I think that's the part that I get excited about.
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, like you said, whether you get there
Speaker 2: or whatever there is or not, And it's not just
Speaker 2: the journey and the destination because I think that's the
Speaker 2: old cliche. But what I'm really hearing from you is
Speaker 2: the person you grow into, the people you surround yourself
Speaker 2: by in order to reach this big goal that is
Speaker 2: so fulfilling, and that pursuit is worthy, right. The pursuit
Speaker 2: is the happiness.
Speaker 1: It's everything. Jeff said this before, and you'll hear so
Speaker 1: many people say it that come from where I've come
Speaker 1: from the bottom, or what's considered to be the bottom.
Speaker 1: We are not stereotypically supposed to be in the rooms
Speaker 1: that we're in. And when we say that, there's a
Speaker 1: level of comfort. Right We're not supposed to be in
Speaker 1: these rooms. And it's kind of cliche when you say it.
Speaker 1: When you start getting these rooms, you know, oh wow,
Speaker 1: why are we not supposed.
Speaker 2: To be the rooms?
Speaker 1: Right? Like, it's so amazing when you get to the
Speaker 1: other side, you see the other side and you look
Speaker 1: back and you just look at what you've grown from
Speaker 1: the conversations that I'm able to have, the knowledge that
Speaker 1: I'm able to speak with and the understanding I understand,
Speaker 1: not because I'm a trained machine and I spent all
Speaker 1: of this time prepping for and you know, this is
Speaker 1: this is what the idea of education was all based
Speaker 1: off of. No, the idea of discovery enhanced the muscle
Speaker 1: that made me want for so much more information in
Speaker 1: the space of life that I chose to love so
Speaker 1: on entertainment and business. The level of failures that I
Speaker 1: have had that I'm still having in some regard the
Speaker 1: world of fixing, cleaning up, making better, understanding, growing relationships, building.
Speaker 1: There is nothing more intriguing than me than being able
Speaker 1: to turn around and look at Kevin at the age
Speaker 1: twenty two and then looking at Kevin at the age
Speaker 1: forty three, This was not the plan? What are you talking?
Speaker 1: Every day is a new day, and every day I
Speaker 1: found another thing to be excited about. Every day I
Speaker 1: found another goal that I decided to attach to my tree.
Speaker 1: And that tree got so many branches on it right now.
Speaker 1: And so many people say, you're doing so much, or
Speaker 1: why do you do so much? How do you do
Speaker 1: so much? What is the what's the end game? What's
Speaker 1: the goal? The game is being in the game, right
Speaker 1: like it's it's being in the game the foundation that
Speaker 1: I'm trying my best to create. I hope and pray
Speaker 1: that these four kids that I have, that they look
Speaker 1: at it, that they see that they understand. We just
Speaker 1: got a shot at something different. We gotta shot at
Speaker 1: generational wealth. We got a shot at changing the quote
Speaker 1: unquote trajectory within our culture of opportunity. We got a
Speaker 1: shot to make this normal. Once again, I'm looking past me,
Speaker 1: I'm looking at I'm looking at the bigger piece to
Speaker 1: the plan. My kids got a bigger shot at breaking
Speaker 1: ground and making this normal because other kids that look
Speaker 1: like us, that came from where we come from, and
Speaker 1: that grew up how I grew up, will now have
Speaker 1: a different level of association for what can be achieved.
Speaker 1: If it's based off of what I was able to do,
Speaker 1: I'm igniting a different level of thought, a different level
Speaker 1: of what, a different level of motivation and inspiration. I'm
Speaker 1: inspiring at a different level. Absolutely, when I get there
Speaker 1: and at the last second I miss it and I fall,
Speaker 1: I got there. I got there, And all that does
Speaker 1: is show them that they can get there. They're not
Speaker 1: gonna miss.
Speaker 2: And they can go further.
Speaker 1: They can go first. They're not gonna miss. They're equipped
Speaker 1: with too much of the weapons. I've equipped you along
Speaker 1: the way with so much, so you're prepared for all
Speaker 1: this war that's coming up here. You're not gonna miss.
Speaker 1: That might miss, that might fall, you're not. I love that,
Speaker 1: And the kids coming up from under them, they're not
Speaker 1: gonna miss. But you have to have this energy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's bigger than me.
Speaker 2: What's that one mindset that you're trying to pass on
Speaker 2: to that next generation, your kids, the kids that come
Speaker 2: off to that. Because it sounds like while you were
Speaker 2: honest and saying, look, I didn't know I was going
Speaker 2: to be a right director or an entrepreneur, or CEO.
Speaker 2: I didn't have these. I didn't have the education, as
Speaker 2: you said, but it sounds like you have some. You
Speaker 2: have the mindset that's very clear, we know that. But
Speaker 2: there's some core skills here that it sounds like you've
Speaker 2: invested in very deeply and that you're trying to pass on.
Speaker 2: If you could narrow them down to one, two or
Speaker 2: three for us, what would you say are the skills
Speaker 2: that you're like, this is how I want my kids
Speaker 2: to be able to operate in this world, and that's
Speaker 2: what they need.
Speaker 1: The best skill that I have developed is the skill
Speaker 1: of noticing and understanding that nothing is done by one individual.
Speaker 1: No level of success is reached by one person. Right
Speaker 1: like the there is a team effort that goes into
Speaker 1: the smallest moment of success to the life charges and
Speaker 1: the person that wants the rewards and accolades for it
Speaker 1: all and that doesn't embrace the world of team and
Speaker 1: the foundation that stands underneath whatever that thing is is
Speaker 1: a person that won't last long. The thing that I
Speaker 1: am most thankful for and the thing that I that
Speaker 1: I'm glad that it has just improved over the course
Speaker 1: of time, is the world of inclusion. With the wei,
Speaker 1: there's no I and I hope that that's what I'm
Speaker 1: passing down to my kids is that you know, nothing
Speaker 1: is given, everything is earned, and for things to be
Speaker 1: earned correctly, you know, you have to surround yourself with
Speaker 1: people that you cannot only earn with, but that will
Speaker 1: support and embrace along the way. Right, I have an
Speaker 1: amazing team. After my team grows to be the stars
Speaker 1: of tomorrow, from execs to creatives, to talent to writers, producers, directors,
Speaker 1: everybody that's underneath this umbrella of heartbeat. Of heartbeat ventures
Speaker 1: of the brands and the brand partnerships and the space
Speaker 1: of entertainment and this ecosystem with the media that we've created.
Speaker 1: We flourished because they flourish. And knowing that, identifying that
Speaker 1: and try my best to support that. That's the thing
Speaker 1: that I have had to work on. And when we
Speaker 1: talk about Monsters Jay, there was a there was an
Speaker 1: eye monster, there was a I need to do it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make the call. I gotta I'm a boat.
Speaker 1: I'm no everybody move, watch y'all. I'm gonna show y'all
Speaker 1: how to do it. I'm gonna take the meeting hit.
Speaker 1: We're not listening to that we're gonna do it my way.
Speaker 1: There was this heavy thing of me, I I I
Speaker 1: not the way, Kevin, get out the way and let
Speaker 1: other people be great. They're only going to make this
Speaker 1: thing greater. You're prohibiting that by trying to stand in
Speaker 1: a moment of great so that people can look and
Speaker 1: point at you. Let other people do the thing that
Speaker 1: they were brought here to do, and while they do it,
Speaker 1: align yourself with them, embrace them, support them, and as
Speaker 1: they grow, we grow. That's the thing that I flourish
Speaker 1: in the most, which is why the first thing that
Speaker 1: I asked you think about it. The first thing that
Speaker 1: I asked you when we're here was setting up. I said,
Speaker 1: how long have you guys been together? That's just me
Speaker 1: asking because I want to see what the world of
Speaker 1: your team is. And when you say what you say, well,
Speaker 1: there's no coincidence that the level of success comes with
Speaker 1: relationships that's evolved from day to said date. It comes
Speaker 1: with an understanding that comes with a level of community.
Speaker 1: More importantly, a want for successful We have it together
Speaker 1: because we're embracing the world, not just one.
Speaker 2: I love that you went there, man, like that there
Speaker 2: could have been so many ways to answer that question,
Speaker 2: and the fact that you brought it back to being
Speaker 2: bigger than you. I mean that mindset, I mean that
Speaker 2: mindset is everything, but it's so easily missed because we
Speaker 2: grow up in a doggy dog society. We grow up
Speaker 2: in a U versus me. I feel like when I
Speaker 2: speak to people in the entertainment industry as well, for years,
Speaker 2: especially if you were a minority or a person of color,
Speaker 2: you were put against the only other person of color,
Speaker 2: and so it's like they can be only one person
Speaker 2: of color comedian, they can only be one person of
Speaker 2: color actor, right Like it's all divided.
Speaker 1: And so talked about this. It's you know, Dave, Chris, myself,
Speaker 1: we're very close.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love seeing that. That makes me happy.
Speaker 1: The reason why we're so close is because you know,
Speaker 1: there is no competition. We're not We're not competing with
Speaker 1: one another. And you know, we all have different level
Speaker 1: of success. That makes sense for us, right Like one
Speaker 1: success has nothing to do with the other. And the support,
Speaker 1: the love that we give each other that we embrace
Speaker 1: each other with, it's all done with the understanding that
Speaker 1: we can all exist at the same time. And the
Speaker 1: conversation of there can only be one is one that
Speaker 1: we've created as a culture. Like you know, we really
Speaker 1: do pit our own against our own right. We really
Speaker 1: have done it throughout the time. And by the way,
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with competition. There's nothing wrong with wanting
Speaker 1: to be the best. There's nothing wrong with that conversation.
Speaker 1: But it's a conversation that can be had and should
Speaker 1: be had without the malicious intent behind it, right because ultimately,
Speaker 1: success and success and that's what you're that's what you're
Speaker 1: in the game for, to have some type of level
Speaker 1: of success that checks the box for you. And you know,
Speaker 1: once again, if you get to looking across the street
Speaker 1: and you're looking at what the others are doing over there,
Speaker 1: or you're missing what you've done over here, and I
Speaker 1: just it's something that I think, over the course of
Speaker 1: time has developed. It didn't start off like this. I
Speaker 1: definitely was once again and being transparent. I was a
Speaker 1: young comic that was like, man, when am I gonna
Speaker 1: get my turn? I'm funny, I'm funnier than I need it.
Speaker 1: I don't understand. Oh my god, nobody wants like you
Speaker 1: do go through that, and rightfully so there's frustration in
Speaker 1: not knowing or not understanding why my opportunity hasn't or isn't.
Speaker 1: There's frustration in that, but there's also a sense of
Speaker 1: calm that comes in confidence of knowing that you're putting
Speaker 1: the work in for a reason and that it will
Speaker 1: pay off. And I had to make that change. I
Speaker 1: had to make the change of saying, I'm doing the work.
Speaker 1: Am I showing up every day? And am I prepared?
Speaker 1: And if this opportunity does come, am I ready for it?
Speaker 1: Because there's nothing worse than it comes. And I don't
Speaker 1: have a set. I don't have a tight five minutes.
Speaker 1: I don't have a tight ten. I didn't have a
Speaker 1: twenty five minute set. Oh my god. They wanted to
Speaker 1: clean material. I didn't have no clean material. There's nothing
Speaker 1: worse than not being ready.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: the work and make sure I'm ready. Let me go
Speaker 1: take these acting classes. Before I even got an acting role.
Speaker 1: I'm sitting in damn acting classes. I'm spending a little
Speaker 1: bit of money I got doing one on one sessions
Speaker 1: that I wasn't comfortable being in the class. I had
Speaker 1: to get this pace of comfort. I don't have any roles,
Speaker 1: I didn't have any auditions yet. I'm doing the work
Speaker 1: so that when I get there, I don't have to
Speaker 1: go backwards and do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that mindset. I think that is so underrated.
Speaker 2: Are you even ready? If the opportunity came knocking? Are
Speaker 2: you even ready? And two things that I took away
Speaker 2: from that. The first was something you said about you
Speaker 2: Chris and Dave, which and I love hearing about that friendship.
Speaker 2: It's so beautiful to hear about that. I read something
Speaker 2: from Bob Igo where he was talking about how at
Speaker 2: one point Spielberg, George Lucas and I think it was
Speaker 2: Tarantino they would show each other their movies before it
Speaker 2: went anywhere. So they'd sit in this tiny little theater
Speaker 2: or whatever. They'd show each other their movies, give each
Speaker 2: other feedback, and then did all launch their movies. And
Speaker 2: of course all of those people are you know, I
Speaker 2: mean icons. And it's unbelievable because you think they were
Speaker 2: so confident in who they were and what their style was.
Speaker 2: I mean, a Spielberg movie doesn't look like Lucas movie,
Speaker 2: and a Lucas movie doesn't look like a Tarantino movie.
Speaker 2: They were so confident in who they were and what
Speaker 2: they brought to the table that they could even show
Speaker 2: their best work.
Speaker 1: I trust your level of understanding, opinion, and story and
Speaker 1: the highest regard that even though we don't share the
Speaker 1: same love for genre material whatever you want to call it,
Speaker 1: right like whether it's sci fi to drama to action
Speaker 1: like these are all, like you said, different people, but
Speaker 1: you know story, you know character. I trust that you'll
Speaker 1: be able to watch my project, tell me if my
Speaker 1: characters are easy to track, and if you care, and
Speaker 1: if you don't care. I also trusted you'll be able
Speaker 1: to tell me why you felt you didn't. I also
Speaker 1: feel that in the space of solution, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: throw things at me that are not doable. You're gonna
Speaker 1: know the context of what I have that I'm working with,
Speaker 1: what's left on the cutting room floor, what I can
Speaker 1: possibly do to do reshoots. Everything that you're gonna tell
Speaker 1: me is within regards of having my best interests. That's confidence.
Speaker 1: That's also a strong relationship and a friendship that along
Speaker 1: the journey of success. As we've all gotten to the
Speaker 1: top of this mountain, we understand that your stance on
Speaker 1: your mountain has nothing to do with mine. Dave Schappel
Speaker 1: has made me and Chris Rock feel stupid at times
Speaker 1: when it comes to our choice and material. We have
Speaker 1: watched Dave in our earlier stages of just working on
Speaker 1: our set, and we would spend time at the seller
Speaker 1: and one would come and we would all go and
Speaker 1: Dave would go up, and me and Chris are just
Speaker 1: went up and we're happy about our material. We're giving
Speaker 1: each other notes we watched Dave. There's been times we
Speaker 1: have looked at each other and we balled our papers
Speaker 1: up and said, we got to start over. We got
Speaker 1: to start over. Not because of jealousy or envy, No,
Speaker 1: because we challenge each other and we spark and amp
Speaker 1: the world of like we want the best, but not
Speaker 1: only each other, but for ourselves. And you inspire me
Speaker 1: and you encourage me, and I love the reporter we
Speaker 1: have because we do exactly the same thing. Y'all think
Speaker 1: my hours ready? I want you to come see me,
Speaker 1: Christen what you think? Kevin like it, but I still
Speaker 1: think you can. keV come see me. I'm doing an
Speaker 1: hour and forty right now, hour and forty, Yeah, tell
Speaker 1: me what you think. I'm probably gonna trim twenty out
Speaker 1: of it. It is all right, I'm coming. David's up,
Speaker 1: come to Ohio. You don't like what I'm working on,
Speaker 1: I want your eyes all right like this. That's a
Speaker 1: strong relationship and it's one that I embrace and I
Speaker 1: celebrated often. Man, I celebrated often. I think it's very
Speaker 1: important for people to see other entertainers at this level
Speaker 1: just simply celebrate each other's success. I love it, whether
Speaker 1: it's rappers, singers, actors, actresses, comedians, writers, directors, whoever. I
Speaker 1: love to see a room where people are in it
Speaker 1: and they're celebrating one another. We're all a part of
Speaker 1: a fraternity, and you know, if we treated right, that
Speaker 1: fraternity will have an amazing stance forever. Yeah, right, Like
Speaker 1: you don't want to attach bad stories to it if
Speaker 1: we don't have to.
Speaker 2: And I think that's the most inspiring thing for the kids,
Speaker 2: because when I think about younger generations, if you grew
Speaker 2: up watching your favorite people and you knew they were
Speaker 2: all friends, how does that change the game now? Because
Speaker 2: if you're seeing your favorite people fight each other and
Speaker 2: battle it out for the crown, what are you going
Speaker 2: to do with the person sitting right next to you
Speaker 2: at school. And I think that's I saw that so
Speaker 2: much growing up, where I've always wanted to connect with
Speaker 2: people regardless of what we do in this space. But
Speaker 2: you saw so many people who are coming at it
Speaker 2: from the perspective of let's see who does better, let's
Speaker 2: see who does more. And again, I love what you said.
Speaker 2: Competition is not a bad thing. Let's not give it
Speaker 2: a bad name. But the idea that we've got to
Speaker 2: be able to hold two truths. We can compete and
Speaker 2: still be friends.
Speaker 1: Still be friends, And I think people friends, Yeah, you
Speaker 1: have to choose, but you still be friends. You know,
Speaker 1: there was a time where the USA men's swim team,
Speaker 1: the Olympic team, this team was just so elite. And
Speaker 1: this is in Phelps is like Phelps was Phelps a
Speaker 1: human fish, right, But when you look at a lot
Speaker 1: and you look at the other men that were competing
Speaker 1: on that team, and he looked at the world of
Speaker 1: petition between them themselves, those practices were more than just practices.
Speaker 1: The world of training before the Olympics and the battles
Speaker 1: that took place in those pools where they got ready
Speaker 1: and they were by each other's side every single day.
Speaker 1: When I tell you that Atmosphair is one that nobody
Speaker 1: else can understand except the ones that are competing to
Speaker 1: be great. By the way, at the end of every
Speaker 1: practice they would get out and shake each other's hands
Speaker 1: without me being here. I'm willing to bet and say,
Speaker 1: Gil when you push me today, you kick my ass today. Hey, tomorrow, man,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna see if I can lower my time. I'm
Speaker 1: not happy with my two hundred. I'll go. I'll do
Speaker 1: it with you. I'll push you. Hey, my backstroke is whatever. Hey,
Speaker 1: you know what today on those fifties we did the reption,
Speaker 1: seemed like you got stronger along the way. Well, I
Speaker 1: saw you next to me. That motivation, that motivation that
Speaker 1: you're pulling from being alongside of somebody that's quote unquote
Speaker 1: the best or the quote unquote greatest. You're using that
Speaker 1: as fuel. That's not bad. But not in one interview
Speaker 1: that you ever see them have any type of report
Speaker 1: that looked as if there was animosity or anger towards
Speaker 1: one success. The happiest people for Michael Felps with the
Speaker 1: people on his team. The happiest people were the people
Speaker 1: that got the silver that were on his team. That
Speaker 1: to me, that's the mold and the making of real champions, right,
Speaker 1: that's the mold in the making. Like if you're in
Speaker 1: it and you have said, this is what I'm destined
Speaker 1: to do, and I'm gonna give my all, and every
Speaker 1: day I show up with one hundred percent, regardless of
Speaker 1: the outcome, I'm showing up with one hundred percent. That
Speaker 1: day gonna come. Whenever it comes, I'm gonna be ready,
Speaker 1: it's gonna come. I'm gonna get my just doing my fulfilling,
Speaker 1: my fulfilling need and energy and want for knowing that
Speaker 1: I have just delivered for myself. That's what I can
Speaker 1: pee with. That's why I look at them here. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I let myself down because the things that I'm trying
Speaker 1: to do I should know I can't redo. Sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: chasing the thing that can't be redone again. Sometimes the
Speaker 1: lightning in the bottle strikes once, You're not gonna get
Speaker 1: that again. So there's times when I'm so hard on
Speaker 1: myself that I missed the moments of success that I
Speaker 1: should realize that I'm having because I'm chasing this thing.
Speaker 1: There's a time where I was doing two shows and
Speaker 1: arenas a night four shows in the city and arenas
Speaker 1: as a comedian. Go back on tour the next one,
Speaker 1: I only do two shows. Oh my god, I'm falling off.
Speaker 1: What's happening? No, sold out six seven shows of Matterson
Speaker 1: Square girlm what. I feel bad because I didn't do
Speaker 1: it again. That ain't gonna happen again. That was lightning
Speaker 1: in the bottle. You gotta get to a place of
Speaker 1: understanding and realization. But once again, it's the monsters, man, Yea,
Speaker 1: the monsters.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You talk about this in the audiobook and I
Speaker 2: loved it. It was all about the addiction number one. Yes,
Speaker 2: it's this idea and you love this. There was a
Speaker 2: study that I saw that said, because you brought up
Speaker 2: the Olympics, it's about my brain. There's a study that
Speaker 2: I saw that said people who win bronze are happier
Speaker 2: than people who win silver because the people who came
Speaker 2: second were this close to first.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But the person who came third, they were happy. They
Speaker 2: were like, we weren't gonna get first, but we got in.
Speaker 2: We got on the podium, and it's that podium syndrome
Speaker 2: of at least we got on. But the second the
Speaker 2: person in silver, they are mad at themselves. Yeah, because
Speaker 2: they didn't get number one.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And so that addiction to number one is so strong.
Speaker 1: It's a bigger addiction when there's multiple versions. I'm guilty
Speaker 1: of the multiple Like, Okay, I need it. Got a
Speaker 1: movie coming out, movie going to the box, I need it.
Speaker 1: I need number one. I don't get number one. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I failed flop. I don't get them one with a flop.
Speaker 1: It's a flop. I gotta get them one. It's one
Speaker 1: or a flop flop. There's no one between. It's one
Speaker 1: on flop like always got numb one, it's got to
Speaker 1: be number one. What happens is you're so you're so
Speaker 1: unrealistic in expectations that you're missing real success. Now I've
Speaker 1: been fortunate and blessed enough to have a ton of them,
Speaker 1: but I got to a place where the wind was
Speaker 1: attached to the project. The wind was attached to me
Speaker 1: finishing a movie and being happy about the movie that
Speaker 1: I did. Union workers are happy, and a director coming
Speaker 1: out with the finished piece of the product going you're
Speaker 1: gonna like this, and we see it and we actually
Speaker 1: like it, And then we screen it for fans, and
Speaker 1: fans go, we loved that's the wine, that's the win.
Speaker 1: This other thing and I'm trying to control, Kesh. Stop,
Speaker 1: you can't control that. And if you keep on going
Speaker 1: in the direction that you're going in, if and when
Speaker 1: that thing changes, you're going to be so hurt that
Speaker 1: the world of recovery might not be easy for you.
Speaker 1: Your logic and what you're now deeming as like reality
Speaker 1: for you, it's not reality if you don't grasp the
Speaker 1: real concept of what it should be. Now. It doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that you're saying that you are ready to fail.
Speaker 1: It's saying be prepared for the world of real to
Speaker 1: present itself at any point in time. Don't get caught
Speaker 1: up in the world of fake and me acting is
Speaker 1: if I control these numbers, is if I can navigate
Speaker 1: and direct and make it happen when and how I want.
Speaker 1: All the time, I'm setting myself up, so you know
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna check myself now, let
Speaker 1: me balance it out. Now, what are you doing? I
Speaker 1: love what I do, all right, well, then let's be
Speaker 1: happy in what we do. I talked to David Lettiman
Speaker 1: on my comedy podcast, Right Comedy God Minds, and Letterman
Speaker 1: said he was so dark at one point because all
Speaker 1: he did was show up and he looked at the
Speaker 1: numbers between him and the other.
Speaker 2: Shows every day.
Speaker 1: Every day, he said, every day I got there and
Speaker 1: I looked at it and I would my team, you
Speaker 1: were not working hard enough, and I was so hard,
Speaker 1: he said, I'm so hard on people. And when you
Speaker 1: hear him talk love David by the way, I don't
Speaker 1: know the letterment of old that some people ran into.
Speaker 1: I know the letterment of now. And he's so transparent
Speaker 1: the information and how he talks and what he's overcome.
Speaker 1: His stories were just it was so good to hear
Speaker 1: because when you hear people that are openly telling you
Speaker 1: you can't do this, you can't operate like this, because
Speaker 1: it eats away at you, it eats away. It made
Speaker 1: me realize I did go through a piece of that.
Speaker 1: I just was able to catch mine early.
Speaker 2: And in the worry of like we might fail, we
Speaker 2: risk being open to being broken, right, Like that's the risk,
Speaker 2: Like you don't want to go down, but you don't
Speaker 2: realize that if you I'm not prepared for that down.
Speaker 2: The down is gonna be far us.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be far worse man. We have had a
Speaker 1: live example of a lot of those downs. Right, like
Speaker 1: in real time, we're watching I called The Truman Show
Speaker 1: and for everybody listening to your podcast if you're not
Speaker 1: familiar with The Truman Show is a Jim Carrey movie,
Speaker 1: but basically, you know people's lives, it's the movie right
Speaker 1: we're watching We're watching real live movies every single day,
Speaker 1: and you're watching people make mistakes, recover from mistakes, not
Speaker 1: recover from mistakes, make rights instead of lefts, lefts instead
Speaker 1: of rights, and seeing that we choose to ignore it
Speaker 1: as if it's not real life. Yeah, we choose to
Speaker 1: ignore it.
Speaker 2: It feels like it's TV.
Speaker 1: And the biggest drug, the biggest drug. It's not cocaine,
Speaker 1: it's not heroin, it's not molly or opioids. And the
Speaker 1: biggest drug it's fame.
Speaker 2: And now it's more accessible in different doses.
Speaker 1: It's the biggest drug. And the reason why it's the
Speaker 1: biggest drug because it's a drug that makes you feel
Speaker 1: like you are powerful and like everywhere you go, anything
Speaker 1: you want, everything you want. It's it's a thing. And
Speaker 1: if you can't handle this thing. The consequence is attached
Speaker 1: to when that thing is removed. Are severe. Nobody prepares
Speaker 1: you for the world of fame. There is no handbook,
Speaker 1: there is no outline, there is no guide by guide
Speaker 1: step one to step ten. There's nothing. You get it,
Speaker 1: and yesterday you weren't, and today you are and tomorrow
Speaker 1: or not, No, we're done. People get shell shocked. That
Speaker 1: to me has always been the point of no return.
Speaker 1: At the end of this can wear off if and when,
Speaker 1: however sees or decides and if that were to happen, well,
Speaker 1: what am I? Where am I? It's all going on.
Speaker 1: It's all good with back too. Are you happy with
Speaker 1: who you are and what you did? Are you at
Speaker 1: a point where you are okay? Do you know you?
Speaker 1: And are you okay with you? If you are not,
Speaker 1: it'll break you.
Speaker 2: Your energy is incredible and just the depth. What I
Speaker 2: love about this and this was my vision with the show,
Speaker 2: and you are helping me achieve that, which I'm very
Speaker 2: grateful for, is I don't think and I love that
Speaker 2: you've been doing this more and more with the audible
Speaker 2: with heart to heart, like we're getting to see your depth,
Speaker 2: We're getting to see the mind behind you again, As
Speaker 2: we said earlier, we like to limit people. We like
Speaker 2: to limit people into like you just be a comedian,
Speaker 2: or you just be a race car driver, or you
Speaker 2: just be an actor. And it's like we're starting to
Speaker 2: realize that, like you said, you're not just watching someone's
Speaker 2: life on TV, there's a human here's there's a story here,
Speaker 2: and we're getting that with you. Do you think it
Speaker 2: was was this something? Was this an epiphany that you
Speaker 2: had before the accident, or was it that this really
Speaker 2: because in your audible when you talk about like how
Speaker 2: when it's just silent you figure out what really matters?
Speaker 2: Like when I heard that, I was just thinking, like
Speaker 2: all near death experiences, you were told when you came
Speaker 2: out of it you should be dead, and you're like, well,
Speaker 2: I don't remember anything. Does that feel like that was
Speaker 2: a moment that there is a massive awakening or were
Speaker 2: you already kind of working with some of this? No.
Speaker 1: I I was always a transparent and authoric person. But
Speaker 1: you definitely change, that's what you. You definitely change, and
Speaker 1: by the way, still changing. I'm not sitting in front
Speaker 1: of you, yes, as a meating, flawed man. I am
Speaker 1: my dad's child. And my mother's child as well. There's
Speaker 1: nothing more humbling than a quiet room. There's nothing more
Speaker 1: humbling then the realization of what is really necessary, what
Speaker 1: you take for granted, and what we don't think twice
Speaker 1: about is not until that's compromise that the true appreciation
Speaker 1: for life, I feel like, and sometimes we had. I
Speaker 1: don't want to speak for everybody, because I think there
Speaker 1: are some people that truly do get it, and that
Speaker 1: truly do think whatever their space or version of a
Speaker 1: higher power is daily for life and for what they do.
Speaker 1: You know, I believe in God, so I'm not as
Speaker 1: spiritual as some may be, but I'm very thankful for
Speaker 1: the life that God has allowed me to live and
Speaker 1: the opportunities that I've been able to embark upon. But
Speaker 1: I got a lot more appreciation after life was almost gone, right,
Speaker 1: Like you appreciate your toes, you really appreciate your fingers,
Speaker 1: Like do you really think about your movement, your joints, vision, smell?
Speaker 1: Do you really think about how fortunate and lucky you are?
Speaker 1: It's the only time where I get a little where
Speaker 1: I slow up, right, And when when I'm slowing up
Speaker 1: is because the reality of that was significant. I really
Speaker 1: almost died my kids and all that. Like, what as
Speaker 1: I'm moving so fast, I didn't even have everything dialed
Speaker 1: up for if said things were to happen. Oh, because
Speaker 1: I'm out here, I'm just Roman. I'm out here aimlessly living,
Speaker 1: and I'm moving so fast. I've yet to grasp the
Speaker 1: true concept and reality of responsibility. Immediately. Let me get
Speaker 1: my responsibilities in order, because if that had have been,
Speaker 1: it would have been a lot of people with their
Speaker 1: hands up as to what how when fame is great,
Speaker 1: the lights are great? Heart Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart, and
Speaker 1: one of one of one God was in that room.
Speaker 1: My goddamn wife, my brother, my kids. You look around.
Speaker 1: You got a lot of friends, You got a lot
Speaker 1: of people to love you. But then you start, well
Speaker 1: what really matters. That's when my mindset started to change.
Speaker 1: That's when you go, Okay, my approach to just me
Speaker 1: and working on me, it needs to be different. I've
Speaker 1: contradicted myself a lot since you know, I want to
Speaker 1: slow down. I'm to make sure I get my family
Speaker 1: more time I have. That doesn't mean that there can't
Speaker 1: be more. The day to day battle of am I
Speaker 1: giving enough? Am I? Guys? You know how much Dad
Speaker 1: loves you. I'm here, I'm like you know, always working
Speaker 1: to make sure to do more. But is it enough?
Speaker 1: My workaholic? Okay, but that's not a bad thing because
Speaker 1: you love the work. Yes, you do. That's passion you get.
Speaker 1: You got something that you go after every day. That
Speaker 1: is a driving source for me. I'm not in the
Speaker 1: business of letting that go. But or you better put
Speaker 1: your hands on these people and make sure. You better
Speaker 1: make sure that you are giving the time that you
Speaker 1: said you would when you were in that time of solace. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm constantly talking to myself. I had these
Speaker 1: conversations all the time. That's the beauty of taking my
Speaker 1: little runs, the beauty of working out, being in the gym.
Speaker 1: You talk to yourself. You better talk to yourself. You
Speaker 1: better have conversations, figure out a ying and yang of
Speaker 1: good and bad. For me, it was about personal evolvement
Speaker 1: after that accident and still trying. Man, it's the biggest battle.
Speaker 1: It's the big The biggest battle is just doing right
Speaker 1: all the time. That's a battle.
Speaker 2: And knowing you're gonna get it wrong.
Speaker 1: That's a battle. Man. When I go to a restaurant
Speaker 1: and they bring out a plate the way, just say
Speaker 1: it all the time. Don't touch that plate to play hot.
Speaker 1: You know what I do, Jay, You know what I
Speaker 1: say after I touch it. It wasn't it hot. They
Speaker 1: told me not to touch the plate. He said it's hot,
Speaker 1: But I still gotta I still gotta go and touch
Speaker 1: the plate anyway. It's a battle. So being okay with
Speaker 1: understanding that I'm going to lose and win in this battle,
Speaker 1: and this battle is not over until the day I'm
Speaker 1: in the ground. Because you're not gonna get it right.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna get it right. And there's people with
Speaker 1: this idea and his mindset of mentality. They're gonna get
Speaker 1: right and everything's gonna be perfect. It's not. Don't play
Speaker 1: that perfect game because all you will do is get
Speaker 1: let down because perfection does not exist. I do firmly
Speaker 1: stand on that and believe that it doesn't exist. Man,
Speaker 1: you should try your hardest to get things right. In
Speaker 1: moments where you got them wrong, figure out how to
Speaker 1: never get them wrong again. That's the world of compromise,
Speaker 1: that's the world of growth, that's the world of evolvement.
Speaker 1: I mean, I got a teenage daughter, nobody prepared me
Speaker 1: for the world of you know, like you're talking about,
Speaker 1: got to get it right. Are we talking enough? Am
Speaker 1: I loving enough? Am my present? Am I listening? Am
Speaker 1: I just delegating? Am my parenting? Am I your friend?
Speaker 1: And there's so much teenage son, little ones, I mean,
Speaker 1: my wife. It's a constant battle of energy and as
Speaker 1: a guy who is an output, right, and I don't
Speaker 1: complain about that output, but those that I'm taking in
Speaker 1: from I just gotta I gotta make sure that I'm
Speaker 1: receiving that and that I'm not I'm not hallassing or
Speaker 1: moving too fast. I'm not making the most of those moments.
Speaker 1: And that's this level of consciousness I did not have
Speaker 1: before the accident. I was, I was one thousand miles
Speaker 1: per hour, and not that I'm not still moving fast,
Speaker 1: but I look at my peripheral I'm looking at my
Speaker 1: rearview mirrors, slowing down, I'm stopping, I'm sleeping, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like I'm there is a difference. I
Speaker 1: know there's a difference, but it's still a battle. Still
Speaker 1: a battle. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love that you describe it like a battle, because
Speaker 2: what you just described is exactly the practice we have
Speaker 2: to have every day, which is you have to revisit
Speaker 2: how do I get it right today? There isn't a
Speaker 2: day where now you just get it right. From now
Speaker 2: to the end of time. It's revisiting that every day,
Speaker 2: saying I'm recommitting to this, I'm going to be a
Speaker 2: good dad today. Right. You don't get to make a
Speaker 2: decision to be a good dad in ten years. You
Speaker 2: got to do today and then you do tomorrow. And
Speaker 2: I think that what's really interesting. The reason why I
Speaker 2: asked that question too, was because I think memory is
Speaker 2: such an interesting thing. Sometimes when something big happens to us,
Speaker 2: we feel the shift that this is going to change
Speaker 2: how I think, and then all of a sudden, when
Speaker 2: things go back to normality, it can sometimes feel as
Speaker 2: if it never happened. But it sounds like for you, you've
Speaker 2: really used it as an anchor. Well, yeah, you've used it.
Speaker 1: Even when you say, like you said, like I'm going
Speaker 1: to be a good dad today, right, you can only
Speaker 1: try your best.
Speaker 2: Try your best, yeah, to do that.
Speaker 1: Ultimately, just because you say you're a good dad, don't
Speaker 1: make you a good dad, No, of course not. Just
Speaker 1: as you say you're a good boss, don't make you
Speaker 1: a good boss. I can say it every day, I
Speaker 1: can think I'm doing it, but if on the opposite side,
Speaker 1: if I'm viewed differently, well that will be because I'm
Speaker 1: doing something wrong and I'm not aware. What I now
Speaker 1: do is make sure that I'm looking at things through
Speaker 1: both lenses, not on one side of POV. It's not
Speaker 1: it's not just my perception of what I'm doing and
Speaker 1: how everybody else should see it. And doing that. The
Speaker 1: way that I try my best to back up the
Speaker 1: hope of me being perceived is that it is by
Speaker 1: putting the true work in to be there, making sure
Speaker 1: that I'm really engaged with the other people, making sure
Speaker 1: that there's a rapport, that there's energy, and you know,
Speaker 1: the wife and kids, the same thing, making sure that
Speaker 1: there's a rapport, that there's you know, I'm asking the
Speaker 1: questions and I'm getting the answers, but I'm I'm asking
Speaker 1: for things so I can get the proper feedback, so
Speaker 1: that if I do need to adjust, or if I
Speaker 1: do need to fix, at least I'm aware. Operating with
Speaker 1: the assumption that you are or that you're doing it
Speaker 1: can be a crutch like it can be It can
Speaker 1: be a bad thing if I'm operating with the assumption,
Speaker 1: because one day you'll wake up and they'll go. You know,
Speaker 1: I never liked when or where acted as a problem
Speaker 1: for me for all these was when you and then
Speaker 1: you just go, I never knew you never say nothing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And sometimes people don't want to say anything. Sometimes people
Speaker 1: don't know how to say anything. So the world of dialogue,
Speaker 1: communication and just openness is what I think I've gotten
Speaker 1: better at over the time. But once again, what it's
Speaker 1: a it's a constant space of improvement. Yeah, you're constantly
Speaker 1: trying to improve.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's and that's that is the only way
Speaker 2: it can be. There is no other alternative. And there's
Speaker 2: a beautiful conversation between the Buddha and a student that
Speaker 2: I love, and the student approaches the Buddha and says,
Speaker 2: what's the difference between I like you and I love you?
Speaker 2: And the Buddha says, when you like a flower, you
Speaker 2: simply pluck it, But when you love a flower, you
Speaker 2: water it every day. And I'm like that to me,
Speaker 2: is what you're describing that when I love my kids,
Speaker 2: I have to be trying every day to understand from
Speaker 2: their point of view, the flower is gonna show you
Speaker 2: whether you're watering or not, it's gonna die. It's gonna
Speaker 2: will is not bloom or whatever it may be. And
Speaker 2: I feel like you've got to be so in tune
Speaker 2: with yourself and someone else in order to sense that.
Speaker 2: But I know what you're saying is so true, and
Speaker 2: I really do recommend this to anyone who's a big
Speaker 2: fan of Kevin's as I am, please do go listen
Speaker 2: to the audiobook, because monsters and how to Tame Them?
Speaker 2: I mean, I have never heard someone be as open
Speaker 2: and transparent as you are in it. And you're so
Speaker 2: open about all your flaws. And there's one thing that
Speaker 2: you say here that again just I was like, I
Speaker 2: have to talk to you about this because it was
Speaker 2: just it stuck with me. And you talk about it
Speaker 2: and you say, you know, and you're just talking about
Speaker 2: the fame, and that's that's what the idea came for.
Speaker 2: You're just talking about how fame makes you feel invincible.
Speaker 2: And then when you talk about getting caught cheating, and
Speaker 2: you're like, I was in that frame of mind where
Speaker 2: I was like, it can't happen to me, right, It's
Speaker 2: not possible, And then you open up about it so raw,
Speaker 2: and in my head I'm thinking, what is it about
Speaker 2: the monster that gets you to do things even that
Speaker 2: are against your own values? Right, like the months to
Speaker 2: get so strong that you go as far as that
Speaker 2: and when you get caught, you go that was an awakening,
Speaker 2: but it still doesn't wake you up fully. Right, there's
Speaker 2: there's there's a limitation to walk us through that.
Speaker 1: Well. I mean, look, you're talking about fame, you're talking
Speaker 1: about power, right, and that idea of invincible Once again,
Speaker 1: this is a this is a thing that a very
Speaker 1: small percentage of people are going to be able to
Speaker 1: experience or understand right. And it's very easy from the
Speaker 1: outside looking in to go or how or I don't
Speaker 1: believe or how can right? But from the other side,
Speaker 1: not that it's right. First of all, wrong is wrong.
Speaker 1: You're never gonna hear me try to justify or excuse.
Speaker 1: Wrong is wrong. But in being wrong sometimes comes with
Speaker 1: world of situation, the world of opportunity. Right, if you
Speaker 1: constantly around bad apples and you're hungry and people keep saying,
Speaker 1: don't eat these apples, some people are gonna be able
Speaker 1: to hold off. You have some people that are gonna
Speaker 1: pick up that apple and bite it. It's not right.
Speaker 1: It's not something that's justifiable to some what's the worst
Speaker 1: is gonna happen. I'm gonna eat it and then what
Speaker 1: I'll probably be sick for a second and I'll throw
Speaker 1: up it. Then I'll be fine. Well, that apple kills you,
Speaker 1: but your way of looking at it in that moment,
Speaker 1: I'll be fine. The idea that comes with that level
Speaker 1: of success and that comes with opportunity based on situation,
Speaker 1: is one that you look at is I'll be fine
Speaker 1: as easy as nothing with it. It's not to your
Speaker 1: hands in the pot and you get burned or cord
Speaker 1: or whatever. You know that you gotta sit down and
Speaker 1: then you gotta think about it. You got to you
Speaker 1: gotta look at it, and then you realize the layers
Speaker 1: that are attached to it. And that's when the life
Speaker 1: changing side of thought happens. Right, and then it becomes
Speaker 1: about you and how you look at yourself. How do
Speaker 1: you view yourself and what do you expect from yourself? Right,
Speaker 1: it's bigger than just the partner of course that you
Speaker 1: want to respect. It's also about you and how you
Speaker 1: want to be viewed at that point, Like, what's important.
Speaker 1: Where are you at? Where are you at? With you
Speaker 1: and that mirror. You get to look into that mirror.
Speaker 1: You know if you are right, but what you're looking
Speaker 1: at and you're fine, flawed and all in all right.
Speaker 1: Getting older to put you in a position to where
Speaker 1: you just start to look at yourself and you're talking
Speaker 1: about the complete finished product that is and will be you.
Speaker 1: Those are the moments that you just got to do
Speaker 1: your best to not only overcome, but just get by.
Speaker 1: And you know, once again, it's a battle, right marriage, love.
Speaker 1: You got to learn it, and at a young age,
Speaker 1: when you're embedded into it, you're not going to get
Speaker 1: it right. You gotta learn it. It's unfortunate how the
Speaker 1: lessons come from whichever side however it happens. But when
Speaker 1: learned or when taking as serious as it can be,
Speaker 1: of course you reap the benefits and you see how
Speaker 1: amazing it is. But you know, I wasn't that smart,
Speaker 1: and I'm not going to act as if I was.
Speaker 1: And that's from my first marriage to that.
Speaker 2: It's is it hard to forgiving yourself or is it
Speaker 2: hard to asking for forgiveness?
Speaker 1: I think it's I could be hard on myself. I
Speaker 1: can stand in the fire having another person do it.
Speaker 1: That's where it gets tough, right, Like you throw rocks
Speaker 1: at me all day when the other person is in there.
Speaker 1: I think that's that's a different level. And the mistakes
Speaker 1: that I've made in my life, the biggest side of
Speaker 1: kind consequence has always been the effect that it's had
Speaker 1: on others. I'll figure it out and do my best
Speaker 1: to evolve and grow and however that has to happen
Speaker 1: with me. But I can't dictate how you would receive
Speaker 1: and how you would handle or how you would do. So,
Speaker 1: you know, watching other people hurt, that's never good. I
Speaker 1: think that would be ever the toughest side of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, that's a really thoughtful Lonso man. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: feel like that's that genuine compassionate heart saying I know
Speaker 2: I can figure my way out, or why would I
Speaker 2: put someone in that situation where they have to figure
Speaker 2: it out for themselves. It was someone was reading me
Speaker 2: a quote the other day and it was like saying,
Speaker 2: how it was Nietzsche who was saying I wish pain
Speaker 2: and suffering on anyone because that's what helps them grow.
Speaker 2: And I was like, hold off, Yeah, I was like
Speaker 2: I would not wish Jesus. I was like, yeah, there
Speaker 2: was someone ready out to me and I was like,
Speaker 2: I was like, I can't subscribe to that.
Speaker 1: That a lot.
Speaker 2: It was a lot. I was like, you can't wish
Speaker 2: pain and suffering under anyone, because even though we know
Speaker 2: you grow through tough things, and you've grown through so
Speaker 2: many tough things that were not your choice and then
Speaker 2: some things that were your choice, but we shouldn't expect
Speaker 2: that other people can navigate those situations.
Speaker 1: It's good when you say, like, you know the choices
Speaker 1: that you make. Right And because of our times today,
Speaker 1: the world of what one does or has done is
Speaker 1: amplified because we're in a position where everybody can have
Speaker 1: an opinion and there's a space to voice said opinion. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna dumb it down and I'm going to go
Speaker 1: to the lowest level right now, when people do some
Speaker 1: of the dumbest mistakes from crime, theft, deadly, cheating, all
Speaker 1: of the go all around. Who has vetted out the consequences.
Speaker 1: Nobody has sat and vetted out the consequences. Right. Everybody
Speaker 1: has robbed the bank as a tip to rob a
Speaker 1: bank because they found it to be a very easy thing,
Speaker 1: and I'm going here twelve o'clock. That man going break,
Speaker 1: he going break. I'm gonna go in there and while
Speaker 1: he don't break, I'm gonna get the money, and then
Speaker 1: we're gonna come out. All we gotta do is get
Speaker 1: back before he get back from lunch, and we we
Speaker 1: we got it. And they go in rob the bank.
Speaker 1: The alarms go off, inc blow up on the money.
Speaker 1: They don't know nothing, they don't know. They get locked
Speaker 1: up and they say something crazy like, yo, I ain't
Speaker 1: want I ain't mean to do this, and the world
Speaker 1: goes what you man ain't mean to do it? You
Speaker 1: rob the bank? No, some people are Some thoughts are
Speaker 1: that simplistic. Some actions are just that stupid and they're
Speaker 1: not thought out. But everything is not that deep. Everything
Speaker 1: to not have that many layers to the mistake. When
Speaker 1: the mistake happened, I'm grounded in the world of reality.
Speaker 1: Everything that I have done in my mind, I attached
Speaker 1: a piece of logic and made it made sense to me.
Speaker 1: You can make anything make sense to you if you
Speaker 1: want it to. And sometimes it's not until consequences present
Speaker 1: themselves that you realize the idiotic way to thinking or
Speaker 1: the idiotic approach to what you feel you can do
Speaker 1: the bigger than the world like mentality, humbling is something
Speaker 1: that has to happen. You can either welcome it or not,
Speaker 1: or we're all privy to it. Minds is count and
Speaker 1: and different doses, shapes and sizes. Man, But I just
Speaker 1: don't I don't want to say I don't like I
Speaker 1: think the thing that like. It Just you have to
Speaker 1: shake your head. It's not even worth the battle and conversation.
Speaker 2: It's simple, Yeah it's not. Yeah, it's not deeply thought through.
Speaker 1: Just not deeply thought through. I was watching Biden and
Speaker 1: there's a clip of Biden. But Biden says, and this
Speaker 1: is I probably watched this clip. I'm not into politics
Speaker 1: at all. But Biden goes, I got something important I
Speaker 1: want to say in the whole world needs to hear it.
Speaker 1: I need everybody to listen right now. And he takes
Speaker 1: a beat, he goes, I forget it for president of
Speaker 1: the United States. Nobody Biden didn't mean to do that.
Speaker 1: Bida didn't go up there and say I'm gonna set
Speaker 1: up for the best joke, and in the middle of
Speaker 1: it goes I say it to say it was it's
Speaker 1: something later that he went and watched. God, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: he apologized. I'm sorry. I know, I know, I know. Guys,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm sorry. Like he didn't mean it,
Speaker 1: he didn't plan it. I hope I hope my way
Speaker 1: of making my point makes sense.
Speaker 2: It makes sense.
Speaker 1: I hope I hope that I'm articulating you are correctly.
Speaker 1: I'm saying that there's no excuses there. There should never
Speaker 1: be any excuses. Wrong is wrong, problems are forever. I'm
Speaker 1: saying that I don't like it when people tell you
Speaker 1: how you thought about something and you go, wasn't necessary.
Speaker 1: I didn't even it wasn't that. Nope, I just I
Speaker 1: kind of just I just walked down there. I didn't
Speaker 1: even know that there was Yeah, do you think you
Speaker 1: just walked? Did you get out the bed? Did you
Speaker 1: put on those boots on purpose? Nope? I just there's
Speaker 1: actually no, I didn't. That's not what I did. It's like,
Speaker 1: I don't like that. Yeah, some thoughts are not that
Speaker 1: deep in that layer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's the difference I've found between being critical
Speaker 2: and being a critical thinker. Everyone's critical today where it's
Speaker 2: just we try and find the flow and what you're
Speaker 2: encouraging through this book, through your work, and what we're
Speaker 2: encouraging here on this platform is critical thinking. Let's be
Speaker 2: open to the fact it could be really basic, it
Speaker 2: could be really deep, it could be somewhere in between,
Speaker 2: and most likely you have no idea because you're not
Speaker 2: that person. Right, You didn't do that, You didn't have
Speaker 2: to live through that.
Speaker 1: It's a very slippery slope to go down when you
Speaker 1: talk about it, because, like I said, you're in a
Speaker 1: time everybody knows everything. Everybody's the smartest person in the
Speaker 1: room today. Yeah, that's a that's an amazing thing to me.
Speaker 1: Like everybody's right all the time. You're telling me nobody's
Speaker 1: wrong today, everybody, do you understand we're in a time
Speaker 1: where everybody's right, everybody knows everything, everybody is the smartest
Speaker 1: person in the world. I call them the best coaches
Speaker 1: that have never won a championship. People don't think about
Speaker 1: that enough. I mean, it's something that we're eventually going
Speaker 1: to have to get out of. The world of anxiety
Speaker 1: and mental health is at the highest level just that
Speaker 1: it's ever been. It's on the front page. I wasn't
Speaker 1: aware of mental health at the at the level that
Speaker 1: it is pre pandemic. I had no idea that existed
Speaker 1: at the level and that so many people suffered. I
Speaker 1: had no idea about the battles of real depression or
Speaker 1: real day to day I had no idea. But with
Speaker 1: that time did it put it on the forefront, and
Speaker 1: you get to see how people are truly battling, battling
Speaker 1: on a day to day based off of perception, doubt,
Speaker 1: and how they feel based off of what I think.
Speaker 1: You think like, that's a scary thing. It's a scary thing,
Speaker 1: and you know, I can only be transparent and authentic
Speaker 1: and hopes that people will find it is what it is. Man,
Speaker 1: be you unapologetically and as you are correcting or fixing
Speaker 1: or evolving in you understanding, you got a dope thing
Speaker 1: to look back at. And that's the old you versus
Speaker 1: the new attempt in who you are trying to be.
Speaker 1: That to me is beautiful. Every piece of art that
Speaker 1: I look at that I love, that I embraced. There's
Speaker 1: nothing better than looking at it from the start. What
Speaker 1: did it start out as every house that gets built?
Speaker 1: What did it start out as every car that gets built?
Speaker 1: What did it start out as clothes that we wear.
Speaker 1: What was the design in the beginning? Everything has stages
Speaker 1: of growth. Why in today's time are we forgetting that?
Speaker 1: Why are we forgetting that and expecting an immediate space
Speaker 1: of perfection. I didn't know the babies come out the
Speaker 1: womb and know it all off the back. I thought
Speaker 1: they have to be taught the way that we're talking today.
Speaker 1: That's tough. It's tough. So I tried my best to
Speaker 1: remove myself from as much as I can. I tried
Speaker 1: myself to act as a aid for laughter, happiness, joy,
Speaker 1: and I can only hope that the conversation attached to
Speaker 1: my name would be one of good. I can't control it.
Speaker 1: If it is great, man, If it isn't, I tried.
Speaker 1: That's where I'm at. Yeah, that's where my mind sett
Speaker 1: as today. Jay.
Speaker 2: Well, when I listened to your audiobook, which I felt
Speaker 2: was a very intimate take on you as a human,
Speaker 2: not as an entertainer, I can honestly say that I
Speaker 2: walked away from it saying to my friends and people
Speaker 2: that I speak to, going, you know what, Kevin didn't
Speaker 2: have to do that. That's how I felt when I
Speaker 2: listened to I was like Kevin didn't have to do that,
Speaker 2: Like he's successful, he's winning, he's great at what he does.
Speaker 2: He didn't have to create anything to talk about his
Speaker 2: flaws like you just didn't have to do that. And
Speaker 2: to me, that's why I respect and admire you, because
Speaker 2: when I heard that, I was like, well, if he's
Speaker 2: happy to go there and he's happy to talk about
Speaker 2: how these monsters never die and he's happy to talk
Speaker 2: about how he's still dealing with them. I find it
Speaker 2: to be some of your most meaningful work, at least
Speaker 2: in the work I do, of course, And I don't
Speaker 2: want to feed your approval months to read them, but
Speaker 2: you know, like I really feel that way, Like I
Speaker 2: really feel that way.
Speaker 1: There's a place that you get to in life right
Speaker 1: when you start to you started like what did I do?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And what did I do?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Like what's And it doesn't mean like you healed the
Speaker 1: world or you you know, change world created this year
Speaker 1: like this, I'm not I'm not saying it for those answers,
Speaker 1: but for you, like the questions like what do I do?
Speaker 1: And I'm at a place where okay, outside of the
Speaker 1: success and the famers, like what am I? What do
Speaker 1: I want? What am I doing right? And the information
Speaker 1: that I now have the opportunity to give, like the information,
Speaker 1: if nothing else, the information. If you really want to
Speaker 1: have impact, you want to try to position yourself to
Speaker 1: help create the opportunities for change. Financial literacy in the
Speaker 1: black community, not understanding banking, haven't known it. My alignment
Speaker 1: would Chase and and and JP Morgan. My but my
Speaker 1: why that there's a why attached to it? Okay, I'm, I'm.
Speaker 1: This is a reason I got. I got something bigger
Speaker 1: than my famous success. Okay, this is a passion and
Speaker 1: something that we're trying to correct. Okay. In the space
Speaker 1: of inspiration motivation, there's a passion attached to me trying
Speaker 1: to simply inspire and motivate those that just simply aren't
Speaker 1: getting motivating messages on a day to day because some
Speaker 1: households just don't do it. Some may not have the
Speaker 1: households that do it. I didn't grow up in a
Speaker 1: mom and dad, the dinner every night, the family prayer
Speaker 1: at the table. I didn't have that. That's not my life.
Speaker 1: There's other people that do have it. There's some people
Speaker 1: that just them in their mom, them in their dad.
Speaker 1: Some people don't have anybody, whatever that thing is, you
Speaker 1: don't know who's pulling from what to try to get
Speaker 1: to wear like we have no idea. So if I
Speaker 1: can now act as a aid, that is giving you
Speaker 1: nothing but verbal warfare attached to truth and authenticity. If
Speaker 1: I'm giving you and adults and gems that are attached
Speaker 1: to a real life concept like this isn't it's not
Speaker 1: made up. I'm giving you simple information based off of
Speaker 1: me and my battles. I just told you there's no
Speaker 1: handbook for fame yet, and still I'm giving you, in
Speaker 1: some way, shape or form, something that can be camouflaged
Speaker 1: as an example of how I had to handle a
Speaker 1: just deal. I have an opportunity to have an on
Speaker 1: season and off season. My on season is movies, maybe
Speaker 1: a stand up comedy tour maybe not. My off season.
Speaker 1: I can go and I can I can be a
Speaker 1: speaker at I can talk to companies about I can
Speaker 1: go to said conventions and give X, Y and Z
Speaker 1: that's used to simply amplify, motivating and spot whatever those
Speaker 1: things are. Once again, I'm creating another door attached to
Speaker 1: a piece of passion that I discovered. I discovered this.
Speaker 1: I didn't set out to do it. I discovered it
Speaker 1: and those that I see doing it. You know when
Speaker 1: Will right now, Will Smith, good friend of mine. You know,
Speaker 1: Will's book had a tremendous amount of success. Will sold
Speaker 1: a million books. It's not just because of the Will
Speaker 1: Smith factor. Will Smith is telling you the truth. Hey man,
Speaker 1: you guys got the glitz and glamor of gold from
Speaker 1: the perception that I gave you without ever really pulling
Speaker 1: the veil back to show you everything else that was
Speaker 1: back here. I can't hold it no more. I was
Speaker 1: in this business fo thirty years or whatever. I cannot.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get to that point, so I
Speaker 1: do it all the time. It's still going, You're still working.
Speaker 1: But I promise you there's a person that will listen
Speaker 1: to this, that will understand it, and that will go.
Speaker 1: You know what, man, shouldn't be afraid to be who
Speaker 1: you are. If I can embody and embed the space
Speaker 1: of confidence for others to make people understand how dope
Speaker 1: it is to simply believe that you can do whatever
Speaker 1: you put your mind to. If I can help and
Speaker 1: just giving you that push, I did my part self
Speaker 1: confidence and belief. That's how dreams get met. Self confidence
Speaker 1: and belief. That's how you check off goals. That's how
Speaker 1: you march towards whatever your versions of success are.
Speaker 2: With a sprinkle of that humility.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kevin, it has been such a joy talking to
Speaker 2: you today.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: We end with five foss questions. These have to be
Speaker 2: answered in one sentence. Sorry, sorry, one sentence, one sentence
Speaker 2: only for each answert All right, Kevin Hard, these are
Speaker 2: your final five. Question One, what is the best advice
Speaker 2: you've ever received?
Speaker 1: Don't be local? Big logo Chris Rock. Yeah, do not
Speaker 1: be a local comedian? Love that make the world laugh.
Speaker 2: Second question, what is the worst advice You've ever received
Speaker 2: or heard?
Speaker 1: Worst advice I've ever received? The herd is, sometimes you
Speaker 1: got to make a studio respect you. He said, don't
Speaker 1: give long answers. After this, I'll summarize it was based
Speaker 1: off It was based off of, you know, after you
Speaker 1: get to a place in acting where you become number
Speaker 1: one on the call sheet, if a studio isn't doing
Speaker 1: things to your liking, well, you know, sometimes you got
Speaker 1: to not show up. And the reason why I say
Speaker 1: that's the worst advice that I've ever seved, I'm straightforward
Speaker 1: businessman and always have been. And the road of negotiation
Speaker 1: can be simplified, doesn't have to be the game of
Speaker 1: back and forth in true war. Right, So being in
Speaker 1: a room and having a face to face conversation with
Speaker 1: foundation of understanding of what you want versus what I want,
Speaker 1: you can succeed a lot more. And I've never not
Speaker 1: done that. All opportunities, all business, all relationships have flourished
Speaker 1: because of an understanding of communication that I've done in
Speaker 1: the room, whether it be my team, studio, studio me,
Speaker 1: my team. That that to me has allowed me to
Speaker 1: achieve much more success than allowing other people to talk
Speaker 1: for me, and other things to be elongated and go
Speaker 1: on and on, and you end up with a perceptionist
Speaker 1: not of you that's created based off of the idea
Speaker 1: of what people think you are because of the way
Speaker 1: that you've handled business.
Speaker 2: And what's great about that is it breaks the pattern
Speaker 2: so that other talent don't get that same advice absolute
Speaker 2: so that then it keeps perpetuating the patent and now
Speaker 2: twenty five years from now, your kids having to deal
Speaker 2: with it because that was the pattern that you continued
Speaker 2: and set. So yeah, I love that question. Number three,
Speaker 2: How would you define your current purpose?
Speaker 1: My current purpose is about embracing the world of wei
Speaker 1: and making the Wei bigger than the idea of me.
Speaker 1: And that's for anybody in the position of you know,
Speaker 1: whatever your version of star success is, it's embracing the
Speaker 1: world of we, making other people feel like they can,
Speaker 1: creating opportunities, you know, changing the economy by broadening your
Speaker 1: businesses and more jobs, more opportunities, et cetera. We right, more, father,
Speaker 1: how do we have more success? More wins?
Speaker 2: Question numb before? What's something you used to value that
Speaker 2: you don't value anymore?
Speaker 1: The world of approval that you can't control. I can't
Speaker 1: control what the world thinks or what people thinks. And
Speaker 1: I thought that I could. I thought that I could
Speaker 1: do everything to show you that I'm a good guy,
Speaker 1: nice guy, trying to do that because that's naturally what
Speaker 1: you are, who you are, and you want people to
Speaker 1: know that. But you can't control that. You can't control it.
Speaker 1: So one thing that I do not need is the
Speaker 1: idea or understanding that everybody loves you. Yeah, right, I
Speaker 1: don't need that. And once upon a time I thought
Speaker 1: that I did. There was a fear of what people
Speaker 1: don't like me. Why would I do? I didn't do,
Speaker 1: and that's that's not the case anymore.
Speaker 2: That's incredible, all right. Fifth to final question. We asked
Speaker 2: this every guest. If you could create one law that
Speaker 2: everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
Speaker 1: Practice what you preach?
Speaker 2: H that's a great load.
Speaker 1: Very simple. Yeah, practice be a definition of what you preach. Right,
Speaker 1: it's easy. It's easy to have words. It's easy to say.
Speaker 1: It's harder to do. Yeah. I would love to see
Speaker 1: a world of more doers than sayers.
Speaker 2: Everyone, Kevin hat I know you already watched the movie,
Speaker 2: has already watched the specials. Keep doing that, but please
Speaker 2: do not miss out on what's going on inside the
Speaker 2: mind of this human and don't miss out on everything
Speaker 2: else that's happening around building this mindset of we I
Speaker 2: want you to show Kevin a lot of love from
Speaker 2: our on Purpose community. Please tag us on whatever social
Speaker 2: media platform you use, sharing the greatest moments, insights, nuggets
Speaker 2: of wisdom from Kevin. There was so many great gems
Speaker 2: that he dropped today. I want to make sure that
Speaker 2: you screenshot the episode, share it everywhere that you share,
Speaker 2: and make sure that we see that because I love
Speaker 2: seeing the ideas that resonate with you, that stick with you.
Speaker 2: But most import the ones you apply, the ones you practice,
Speaker 2: the ones you put into your own reality and start
Speaker 2: seeing changes in your life. Kevin, thank you for being
Speaker 2: such a generous guest, such a present guest. I've felt
Speaker 2: every question I've asked you. I've felt your presence and
Speaker 2: felt your energy, and You've just brought it tonight, man,
Speaker 2: And I'm so grateful to you, and that was so
Speaker 2: special and beautiful.
Speaker 1: I hope you'll come back, and man, I want to
Speaker 1: say thank you. And you've created such an amazing environment
Speaker 1: of comfort to your community, and you just speaking to
Speaker 1: your community way that you do, You've built something amazing.
Speaker 1: And you know, when I'm talking about being in the
Speaker 1: space of trying to motivate, inspire or push however I
Speaker 1: can you know you do it now on a daily
Speaker 1: people come here and they're leaving with a sense of
Speaker 1: feel good. So congrats again, man, But I hope you
Speaker 1: truly understand like the real work that you're doing and
Speaker 1: that you've done, and the guests that you get here,
Speaker 1: they're coming here for a reason because we who are
Speaker 1: listening to you, and we're we're taking away anecdotes like
Speaker 1: your mindset, your perspective as a man, watching you as
Speaker 1: a husband with your kids, like you. As we pull
Speaker 1: from that, right, you find energy and motivation to seeing
Speaker 1: people do it correctly. So please continue to be the
Speaker 1: example that you are and and and put your life
Speaker 1: on display at the level you do. Man, the right
Speaker 1: people are watching, and I hope that you continue to
Speaker 1: get the response that you're doing well.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna keep coming to you and I need help too,
Speaker 2: just know that, but I appreciate it coming from you. Man.
Speaker 2: Very empowering, honestly very empowering.
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean every word. Man,