WEBVTT - No response needed

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is that when a friend or relative or

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<v Speaker 1>colleague is going through a hard time, you should let

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<v Speaker 1>them know that you care about them without asking anything

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<v Speaker 1>of them. Make it clear that no response is needed.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you ever personally have been through a really

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<v Speaker 1>rough patch, you know that mustering the energy for even

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<v Speaker 1>basic life maintenance can feel challenging. When you are in crisis,

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<v Speaker 1>you certainly don't have the energy to answer lots of

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<v Speaker 1>questions or coordinate other people's attempts to help you. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>this may seem obvious, and yet when other people are struggling,

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<v Speaker 1>we often result to asking questions that the person might

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<v Speaker 1>feel some obligation to answer. How is your mom doing today?

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<v Speaker 1>Have you gotten the results from your biopsy? Who's taking

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<v Speaker 1>care of Rover? Do you want me to bring you dinner?

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<v Speaker 1>And if so, what are your favorite comfort foods? Questions

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<v Speaker 1>like these arise from a place of caring, but by

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<v Speaker 1>asking questions, you are giving your loved one one more

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<v Speaker 1>thing to do. So instead of asking questions, try expressing

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<v Speaker 1>your concern and caring a statements I hope your mom

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<v Speaker 1>is feeling better today. I love you and I'm thinking

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<v Speaker 1>of you as you wait for your biopsy results. If

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<v Speaker 1>you need help with Rover, he can stay with us.

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<v Speaker 1>Call or text me if you want me to come

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<v Speaker 1>get him. I'll drop off a hot lasagna on your

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<v Speaker 1>front doorstep tomorrow at six thirty and text when it's there.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll leave it in a cooler so it stays warm

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<v Speaker 1>if you don't get to it for a while. Statements

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<v Speaker 1>like these let your loved one know that you care

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<v Speaker 1>about them, but the person doesn't have to spend time

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<v Speaker 1>and emotional energy responding to your message. Maybe she'll reply

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<v Speaker 1>with thanks or a tap back heart, but even that

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<v Speaker 1>isn't necessary. You can also explicitly say no response needed

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<v Speaker 1>in your message. This is appropriate if you are expressing

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<v Speaker 1>love and support, so the person can just receive your

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<v Speaker 1>love and support without feeling the need to reply. No

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<v Speaker 1>response needed is also appropriate if you offer a specific

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<v Speaker 1>form of help and a planned course of action. If

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<v Speaker 1>the lasagna delivery seems workable, all the person needs to

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<v Speaker 1>do is check the front door around six thirty. If

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<v Speaker 1>the person doesn't need you to take Rover, then they

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<v Speaker 1>don't need to do anything. If they do want you

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<v Speaker 1>to take the dog, they know to text and say

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<v Speaker 1>please come get Rover this afternoon. By using statements and

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<v Speaker 1>a description of your actions rather than asking lots of questions,

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<v Speaker 1>you can let people know you care about them without

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<v Speaker 1>adding one more thing for them to respond to. When

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<v Speaker 1>someone is really struggling, reducing the burden on them can

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<v Speaker 1>be a welcome gift. Do you have strategies for supporting

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<v Speaker 1>friends and family through difficult times. I'd love to hear

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<v Speaker 1>about them. You can reach me at Laura at Laura

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<v Speaker 1>Vanderkam dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, face Book, and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod.

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<v Speaker 1>That's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcast at iHeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my

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<v Speaker 1>heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.