1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,240 Speaker 1: Welcome the season two of The Good Stuff. I'm Ashley Schick, 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: and I'm joined by my husband and co host, Jacob Schick, 3 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: a third generation combat marine and CEO of One Tribe Foundation. 4 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,160 Speaker 2: Ashley also comes from a family rich in military history, 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 2: and we've dedicated our lives to One Tribes, mission serving veterans, 6 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 2: first responders, and their families. We're coming to you from Dallas, 7 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,439 Speaker 2: so welcome to Texas. 8 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: And joining us all season long from Los Angeles, California 9 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: is our West Coast long haired friend and producer of 10 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: The Good Stuff, Nick Cassolini. 11 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 3: What's up, guys, Welcome to the first episode of a 12 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:37,240 Speaker 3: two part series about Carry the Load, speaking simply, Carry 13 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,879 Speaker 3: the Load is a huge Memorial Day event that culminates 14 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 3: here in Dallas, Texas, and, as you'll discover over the 15 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:46,199 Speaker 3: course of these episodes, its significance is truly monumental to 16 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:50,480 Speaker 3: the people who participate, from active duty military to veterans, 17 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 3: to family members and spouses of those who lost their 18 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 3: lives serving this country, to the random civilian just checking 19 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 3: it out. Carry the Load is truly a one of 20 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 3: a kind way to spend Memoria a day, weekend. 21 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 2: The care of the load evolution happens every May or 22 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 2: Memorial May, as we call it, and so this episode 23 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 2: is probably gonna drop who knows when, but probably nowhere 24 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 2: near Memorial May. And we don't care that it's oh well, 25 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 2: it's not May. We don't give We honor and remember 26 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 2: the legacies of these men and women and their families 27 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 2: every single day. It doesn't take a day that that 28 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 2: our government designates, okay, today you need to honor. 29 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 4: Remember. 30 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:34,119 Speaker 2: No, we don't give two dams. It is what it is, 31 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 2: and it still means so much to us. Whether it 32 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,479 Speaker 2: drops in May or it drops in October, it has 33 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 2: the absolute same meaning to us. We would encourage all 34 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 2: of our listeners that listen to this in a time 35 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 2: that is not Memorial May to just take it at 36 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 2: face value and listen to it and then internalize it, 37 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 2: because I promise you it'll make an impact if you 38 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 2: really really dig into it. Don't let that get in 39 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 2: the way of your intellectual mobility, please. 40 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 3: Jake, thank you very much for that. For our beautiful 41 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,639 Speaker 3: listeners out there. This is just a quick heads up. 42 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,640 Speaker 3: This show can explore some heavy subject matter, including talks 43 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 3: of suicide, so listener discretion is advised. 44 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: We couldn't be happier. 45 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 2: You're here again. Welcome to the good stuff, Jake. 46 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 3: Mister Jacob Shick, I'd love to hear in your words 47 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 3: from your heart, what Memorial Day is and what it's about. 48 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:38,359 Speaker 2: Memorial Day is a day to honor and remember all 49 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,960 Speaker 2: the men and women that gave their lives in service 50 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,800 Speaker 2: to this country and for the sake of freedom. I 51 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 2: think I can go as far to say, like, that's 52 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 2: not just what I think, that's what Memorial Day is. 53 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,919 Speaker 1: And there's a big difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day. 54 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: Veterans Day is in November. That's a happy day where 55 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: we think veterans for their service. Memorial Day is an May. 56 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 1: That's a day that we honor and remember our fallen. 57 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 2: And not necessarily it's not a happy day, I mean, but. 58 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: It's a day of remembrance. James Sex. 59 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 5: Here today. 60 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 6: Once again. 61 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 2: We want to welth have everyone to be carried the 62 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 2: Load our Dallas Memorial of Artsy five. 63 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,519 Speaker 7: I was so excited to have everybody. 64 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 3: Here today, Ashley. Will you tell me what carry the 65 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 3: Load is. 66 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: Carry the Load is an incredible event that was founded 67 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: fourteen years ago that really allows individuals, whether they're civilians 68 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: or gold Star families or veterans, first responders, law enforcement 69 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: officers and their families to come together and truly honor 70 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: and celebrate and remember our fallen. It's what that day 71 00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: and that month was intended for. And it is a 72 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: purpose filled, soul feeding event that brings like minded individuals 73 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: together to honor and remember the sacrifice of those who 74 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 1: paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms. 75 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 3: And what are some of the actual nuts and bolts 76 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 3: of what people do at carry the load? 77 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 1: You know? The idea is that you come together to 78 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: carry the load for them because they can no longer 79 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 1: carry it for us. They've paid the ultimate price and 80 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: it was expensive, but we walk to honor and remember them. 81 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: Some people carry rocksacks, some people carry mementos in their 82 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 1: backpack or on their backpack. Some people carry stones with 83 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: you know, those that they've lost, names inside of them. 84 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 1: You know. It is a great event culminating in Dallas 85 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 1: at Reversham Park where they have the bounce houses and 86 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: the food trucks and the field of flags for each 87 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 1: of those that have lost their life, as well as 88 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 1: the storyboards that line the trail on Katie trail in 89 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,359 Speaker 1: each each of those storyboards telling the story of a 90 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,720 Speaker 1: life of a family, of generations of people who were 91 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 1: affected by their service and their sacrifice. 92 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 7: Without further ado, mister Clint Bruce. 93 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 4: Well, good afternoon, and I know we're chomping at the 94 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 4: bit getting ready to go, but I just wanted to 95 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 4: tell you. I was standing in the back and then 96 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 4: Steven asked me to come up here. And I'm so 97 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 4: proud every time I get a chance to do this 98 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,799 Speaker 4: because Steven and I and some of these early members 99 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 4: can remember when the week before the very first Carry 100 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 4: the Load, it was about forty eight people had signed 101 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 4: up in thirty seven of them were related to Steven, 102 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 4: and uh, he's got a big family. That would have 103 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 4: been the whole family. But to see where it is now. 104 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,360 Speaker 6: My name is Don Nunn, formerly staffs are in the 105 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 6: United States Marine Corps. I am a founding member of 106 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 6: One Tried Foundation formerly known as twenty two Kill. We 107 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 6: have been involved with Terry the Load for over ten 108 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 6: years now. 109 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 4: One of my favorite things about this, and maybe hard 110 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 4: for you to tell it because you're out there, but 111 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 4: about eighty percent of the men and women here great 112 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,359 Speaker 4: American citizens, maybe only twenty twenty five percent of people 113 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 4: here are veterans, and one of the reasons the veterans 114 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 4: get up says, we think people don't care that we 115 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 4: lost our friends. But I promise you it is impossible 116 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 4: for you to continue to think that if you simply 117 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,479 Speaker 4: look around. 118 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 1: So to the. 119 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 4: Seventy eighty per great American citizens that have come out 120 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 4: here to let us know that you care that we 121 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 4: missed our friends, and that you want us to know 122 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,600 Speaker 4: about the people you miss too. You have to know 123 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 4: the healing that begins with you. So thank you. 124 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 2: Now. 125 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,679 Speaker 6: In the beginning, it just made sense. I'm a marine, 126 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 6: I've got brothers that I've lost that I've served with it. 127 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,799 Speaker 6: It just made sense for me to go out here 128 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 6: and remember them and honor them. After the first few years, 129 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 6: I started losing my own friends and brothers to suicide, 130 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 6: and that's when Memorial Day really really changed for me. 131 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 7: Please remove non religious head gear, had your heart allegiance 132 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 7: pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States. 133 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 3: Of America, intuity public for which it stands one issue 134 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 3: under God, as Memorial Day just changed for you over 135 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 3: the years. 136 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 2: Yes, In short, I'm for the most part I'm I'm 137 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 2: less angry. There's still times there's been a couple of 138 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 2: years where I do just I get I wouldn't even 139 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 2: say angry. In the beginning, I was angry, But over 140 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 2: the last few years, I find myself some some years 141 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 2: where I'm just frustrated because I feel like our country 142 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 2: just doesn't do enough to remember my dead brothers and sisters, 143 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 2: and that can be inherently frustrating for me. Yeah, we 144 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 2: can do better. We can do better on honoring those 145 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 2: men and women and remembering them because they're not just numbers. 146 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 2: They're human beings, and they have families, and they had 147 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 2: very close friends, and their tentacles stretched far and wide. 148 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 2: So I'm a lot better with it now, But that 149 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 2: that was from a lot of work that's gone into it, 150 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 2: because it's unfair of me to think or to expect 151 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 2: the rest of the country to feel the way I 152 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 2: feel when we have completely different life experiences on this 153 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 2: one day. Now, that said, I do wholeheartedly believe that 154 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 2: we can do better on that day a few years later. 155 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,959 Speaker 6: You know, I've got a fifteen year old daughter that's 156 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 6: sitting right over there, and she was eight at the time. 157 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 6: You know, she was eight at the time, and you know, 158 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,600 Speaker 6: she would she wanted to come out and see what 159 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 6: Daddy did on Memorial Day, you know, every single year, 160 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 6: because he would disappear for a couple of days. And 161 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 6: you know, because I'm out here with with my tribe, 162 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 6: and she wanted to be a part of it. And 163 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,599 Speaker 6: I brought her out, and she wanted to stay the 164 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 6: night with us, you know, and she wanted to walk 165 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 6: with us. And you know, there was this moment where 166 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 6: I would I would take her, you know, when everything's 167 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,080 Speaker 6: kind of died down throughout the night, because but what 168 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 6: I would do with her, you know, I waited till 169 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 6: till nightfall, you know, when when a lot of people 170 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 6: went home for the night. I took her out at 171 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,439 Speaker 6: night and I would walk the trail with her, and 172 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 6: we would walk and we'd look at all the memorials 173 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 6: that Carrie the Load puts up on the trail and 174 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,199 Speaker 6: we read them. And you know, and my daughter was 175 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,200 Speaker 6: eight at the time. You know, I didn't really know 176 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:50,199 Speaker 6: if or knew is she really understood what Memorial Day 177 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 6: was about. But we got home the next day after 178 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 6: everything wrapped up, and she she just out of the blue. 179 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,680 Speaker 6: Drew me this picture and I still have it, you know, 180 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 6: of this cross and and a flag and and and 181 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 6: and us it was us walking on the trail and 182 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 6: and uh it in her eight year old mind, you 183 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 6: know that she was able to express to me what 184 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:20,199 Speaker 6: she she felt, what what Memorial did was about it, 185 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 6: and that another way, in another way change what care 186 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 6: the load was about. For me, you know, it reminded 187 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 6: me that it's my job, my duty to instill upon 188 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 6: the future, you know, of of our nation, that to 189 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 6: remind them that what what this day is actually about, 190 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 6: you know. And so so now you know, I've got 191 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 6: my whole family out here, and we walk and we 192 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 6: remember and we honor you, you know, and and and I 193 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 6: have no doubt that my kids, you know, from my 194 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 6: fifteen year old daughter now to my my ten year 195 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 6: old boy now, that that that they they know what 196 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 6: Memorial Day is about. 197 00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 3: It took a. 198 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 4: Stage retired general whole fun not. 199 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 7: Me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to explain this 200 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:10,680 Speaker 7: hap a Troop, first Squadron, ninth the Cavalry. I'm wearing 201 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 7: it for all my guys from that unit from Vietnam days. 202 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 7: If we got any Vietnam vets out there, all right. 203 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:22,520 Speaker 4: Good good. I'll just tell you, for. 204 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 7: Those vets, give them a special hug, a little pat 205 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 7: on the back, because they didn't get anything like this 206 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 7: when they came home. 207 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,679 Speaker 4: I promise you that it was not a good thing. 208 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,680 Speaker 7: The second thing I'd say is there are a lot of 209 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 7: young people here, including the folks running this effort, and 210 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,320 Speaker 7: and that young group of Scouts have came here and 211 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 7: presented the colors, and I see more young people here, and. 212 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 2: I think we're not in any trouble. 213 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 4: We got great young people in this country. And I 214 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 4: really believe that. 215 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 2: I mean, you. 216 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,439 Speaker 7: Guys are the country. 217 00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 3: So when you do it, actually, do you carry someone specific? 218 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:04,320 Speaker 3: Do you carry the weight of many? Do you carry 219 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 3: the idea? 220 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean all of the above. Each year for me, 221 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:11,160 Speaker 1: because I've done it thirteen years now, this will be 222 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: my thirteenth. 223 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:12,320 Speaker 2: You know. 224 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,960 Speaker 1: Each year for me, I've actually decided to pick a 225 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 1: different person to kind of honor, just because I know 226 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 1: it would mean a lot to their family members. So 227 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 1: I've carried my grandfather though the past few years. My 228 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: grandfather was twenty four years old when he was killed 229 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 1: in a training incident in Fairbanks, Alaska and my mom 230 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 1: was two at the time. Her father was Lieutenant Larry 231 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: Dwayne Voss. He was a pilot and he was co 232 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:42,359 Speaker 1: piloting a T thirty three jet and Fairbanks and they crashed. Unfortunately, 233 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:47,720 Speaker 1: he was buried shortly thereafter at Presidio in San Francisco. 234 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: And I'm blessed to have a mother that, even though 235 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 1: she's a gold Star daughter, and back in the nineteen 236 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: fifties when you know, there really wasn't a lot of 237 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,840 Speaker 1: support or resources for gold Star families. Blessed to have 238 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: a mother that raised us to be patriotic and to 239 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: really be hyper aware of what this weekend and what 240 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: Memorial Day is all about. And so I've been carrying 241 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,640 Speaker 1: Larry and you know, it's it. Jake alluded to it. 242 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 1: But for each and every individual that loses their life, 243 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 1: whether it be in action in the line of duty, 244 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: in training, or by their own hand, for each and 245 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:26,600 Speaker 1: every one of them, you know, it affects generations of people, 246 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: myself included. And my mom being so young when her 247 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: father was killed, I was always really interested in him 248 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 1: and his story, and I found out some amazing things 249 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: about him. I think one of the greatest compliments I 250 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 1: ever received in my life. Was my great uncle Bunner 251 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 1: one time told me that I reminded him of my grandfather. 252 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 1: And here's this man that I never knew, you know, 253 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 1: two generations removed that my mom never really knew because 254 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 1: she was so young when he perished. But you know, 255 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 1: to me, it's an honor, and to me it's a 256 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 1: privilege to be able to carry him and to speak 257 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 1: his name and about all the accomplishments that he did. 258 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 6: You know, when every time every year I come out 259 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 6: here and you ask me who I'm carrying, you know, 260 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 6: I will always tell you that I am carrying my 261 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 6: friend Ben Adams, that I'm carrying my friend Stephen Jackal, 262 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 6: that I'm carrying one of my friend's friends that I've 263 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 6: never met, you know, but actually has a place in 264 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 6: my heart. And you'll see his postport as soon as 265 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 6: you walk out those gates. And his name is Sergeant 266 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:40,320 Speaker 6: Andrew Davis. You know that's I know of him through 267 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 6: a friend that I met the first time. First year 268 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 6: I was out here doing care of the load. I 269 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:55,840 Speaker 6: met this girl, this woman named Katie, and she introduced 270 00:14:55,840 --> 00:15:00,120 Speaker 6: me to who Sergeant Andrew Davis is and who he 271 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:04,440 Speaker 6: he was and how he died, you know, and uh, 272 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:07,200 Speaker 6: you know, it's one of those moments that I always 273 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,320 Speaker 6: remember that that it was kind of a reality check 274 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 6: that that reminded me exactly what and why we're out here. 275 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 6: And you know, all those names, unfortunately that I named 276 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 6: the sergeant Andrew Davis, Ben Adams, Stephen Jackal, you know, 277 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 6: they all died by suicide. And those are names that 278 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 6: that are very very personal to me. And and and 279 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 6: I yes, when you ask me who I'm caring those are? 280 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 6: Will we always been the first names out of my mouth. 281 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 3: We need to take a quick commercial break, but we've 282 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 3: got a lot more with Jake and Ashley and a 283 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 3: lot more from the heart of the event itself. Stick around, 284 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 3: welcome back. Before we introduce you to a few new 285 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 3: people here, I am with Jake and Ashley. Jake, over 286 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,960 Speaker 3: the years, specifically, how important has carried the load been 287 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 3: to you? 288 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 2: I would say that, you know, over the years, carry 289 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 2: those has been paramount to my healing process and it's 290 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 2: it's really helped me heal through my own growth. But 291 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 2: the countless other people that I've met who have sustained 292 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 2: tremendous loss through their growth. It's been a beautiful thing 293 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 2: to be able to hel together with a bunch of 294 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 2: people because of the same reason, you know, because loss 295 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 2: is loss is loss, just like pain is pain is pain. 296 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 2: It's all relative. It doesn't really matter what leads up 297 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 2: to it or how it happens. I mean, the end 298 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 2: result is what makes it all relative, and that to 299 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 2: me over the years has been invaluable, and not only 300 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 2: my healing process, but just my life process. I mean, 301 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,440 Speaker 2: it's that I could say with certainty that it has been. 302 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:13,160 Speaker 2: It's had a tremendous impact on making me a more 303 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:21,760 Speaker 2: effective husband, father, leader. It's helped in every aspect and 304 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 2: especially when done correctly, meaning you know, devoid of predominantly 305 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:31,399 Speaker 2: alcohol and drugs like it, you know, because that was 306 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 2: a suppression mechanism that I utilized for the first number 307 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 2: of years that I did it. But it's yeah, it's been. 308 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 2: It's been an invaluable part of my healing process every 309 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 2: year since I've done it, even when I was not sober. 310 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 2: I mean, it does have a huge impact and some 311 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,160 Speaker 2: of the coolest parts of it that I've been able 312 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 2: to bear witness to or even the people that, yeah, 313 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 2: I know, I never served. I don't really know anybody 314 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,360 Speaker 2: that's served. I just heard about this and figured i'd 315 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 2: come check it out to see how much it impacts 316 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 2: those people and how they leave a completely different person 317 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 2: than they showed up. Is that to me? Is I 318 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,240 Speaker 2: mean that you can't put a price point on that, 319 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,159 Speaker 2: you know, because they they show up not really understanding, 320 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 2: and then after a mere number of hours, they leave 321 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:22,880 Speaker 2: completely getting it. 322 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 4: Now, please welcome the first Cavalry Division band who will 323 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,639 Speaker 4: lead us in the national level. 324 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 3: So Muriel, my wife, and I are included in that 325 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:53,880 Speaker 3: lucky group of first timers showing up to carry the load. 326 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 3: Twenty twenty five, we flew down to Dallas to stay 327 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 3: with you guys and to experience it. Jake, unfortunately you 328 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:06,679 Speaker 3: are not joining this year, and I am wondering if 329 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,879 Speaker 3: you're comfortable talking a little bit about what's keeping you 330 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:10,920 Speaker 3: home this year. 331 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. So, you know, I've been dealing with some health 332 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 2: stuff and astal and I went to the doctor and 333 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,919 Speaker 2: they think that I have a blood clot and my 334 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 2: residual limb or my stomp, and so I can't wear 335 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:30,159 Speaker 2: my prosthetic. So I'm basically wheelchair bound for the next 336 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 2: number of weeks trying to get that to dissolve on 337 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 2: its own, and not only that, it's just I've been 338 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,199 Speaker 2: very low on energy and kind of lethargic, and so 339 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,479 Speaker 2: actually when I came to the conclusion that it's probably 340 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 2: just best for my physical, mental emotional health to sit 341 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 2: this one out and cheer on everybody from home, which 342 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 2: is tough. You know, it's the first one I've missed 343 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 2: in fourteen years, and so it is what it is. 344 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:06,199 Speaker 2: It's just one of those things that you know, it sucks, 345 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:10,439 Speaker 2: but I've got to make sure I take care of 346 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,919 Speaker 2: me in order to take care of others, and so 347 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:18,119 Speaker 2: it's a bummer, but it is what it is. 348 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 3: Jake. For people that aren't familiar with you and your story, 349 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 3: would you describe the injuries you sustained while you were 350 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:26,920 Speaker 3: in Iraq? 351 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I got blown up on a react mission. Our 352 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 2: hum V got hit and blew me out of the 353 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:42,119 Speaker 2: hum V. I ended up having an amputation below the 354 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 2: knee of my right leg, multiple compound fractures and my 355 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 2: left left leg, compound fractures in my left arm, lost 356 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 2: five inches of my ulna bone in my left arm, 357 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,879 Speaker 2: part of my left hand, essentially my fourth and fifth 358 00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:03,160 Speaker 2: digit metacarpals, my fifth digit completely, meaning Pinky broke my ribs, 359 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:10,439 Speaker 2: a shrapnel throughout my body and my neck, chin and face, 360 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,800 Speaker 2: some burns, and a traumatic brain injury because I landed 361 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 2: on my head. 362 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 3: Given that, Carrie, the lotus played such a vital part 363 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,920 Speaker 3: in your healing over the years, and you were denied 364 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,720 Speaker 3: that this year, how did you deal with that? What 365 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,680 Speaker 3: did did you do? Something in solitude? 366 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:31,160 Speaker 4: Yeah? 367 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 2: What I did was I just focused on being grateful 368 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,880 Speaker 2: that I was had the ability to still be here 369 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 2: and feel like shit, There's a lot of men and 370 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 2: women that don't have that ability, and I focused on 371 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:51,400 Speaker 2: the gratitude of that fact that, hey, at least I'm here. 372 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 2: I still get to hug and kiss my wife and 373 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 2: hug and kiss my boys. Yeah, so that's what I 374 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 2: focused on, is at least I'm alive to fill discomfort 375 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 2: because they can't even fill that. 376 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,360 Speaker 8: My name is Beth Burgess, and Hi, I'm Terry Burgess. 377 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:17,160 Speaker 8: Carry the load to me means that Brian is not forgotten, 378 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:21,400 Speaker 8: that people remember that, especially the farther we get from 379 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,879 Speaker 8: the war. It's easy to think that people have forgotten, 380 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,199 Speaker 8: but then you come to event like this, and you 381 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,199 Speaker 8: know that there's still a lot of people and we 382 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 8: have a lot of love and support. 383 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 2: Terry and Elizabeth are the epitome of what it means 384 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:37,959 Speaker 2: to be patriotic Americans. And they lost her son, Brian, 385 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 2: who died conducting combat operations in the army in Afghanistan. 386 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 2: And it has been an absolute honor for me. And 387 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 2: I know I can speak for Ashley when I say this. 388 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 2: Getting to meet and know the Burgesses has been an 389 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 2: absolute highlight of my life. 390 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 5: To me, Carry the Load is uh, it's it's people. 391 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,800 Speaker 5: I just saw Doug Peterson walking past, really good friend 392 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,720 Speaker 5: of ours. You look up, there's the posters of the 393 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:15,639 Speaker 5: fallen soldiers, and it is it's it's more than just 394 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:22,200 Speaker 5: Memorial Day. It is a it is a memorial and 395 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:27,240 Speaker 5: it it helps us understand. Like Bess said, you know, 396 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 5: we don't carry that weight alone. When we lost Brian, 397 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,880 Speaker 5: our son, we thought it was just going to kill us. 398 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,680 Speaker 5: We thought we were all alone in this. Nobody cared, 399 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,119 Speaker 5: nobody wanted to hear the stories, nobody wanted to listen. 400 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,920 Speaker 5: And then we find organizations like Carry the Load. They 401 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 5: encourage you to tell your stories, they encourage you to 402 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:52,600 Speaker 5: share your sons, your daughter's stories, your own personal journey, 403 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:59,959 Speaker 5: and you understand that pain in your heart while it's 404 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 5: still hurts, these people share that pain. You can you 405 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 5: can share your story with them without them giving you 406 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,639 Speaker 5: that weird glazed look in their eyes, you know, like 407 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 5: I don't want to hear this, I don't want to 408 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,960 Speaker 5: listen to this, but they will listen with tears in 409 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,560 Speaker 5: their eyes and then you get a big old hug. 410 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,920 Speaker 5: We just got a big hug from Clint Bruce. 411 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 2: You know. 412 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 5: It was a freaking amazing every time we come out here. 413 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 5: So that's that's what carry the load is to us. 414 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 5: It is it's family, it's friends, it's sharing, its understanding, 415 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:33,359 Speaker 5: and it's healing. 416 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:41,400 Speaker 2: How I memorialize the dead has definitely changed also over 417 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 2: the years, because before it would be you know, I'd 418 00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,919 Speaker 2: go to the bar and I get hammered in honor 419 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:54,440 Speaker 2: of someone. Well, that's completely counterintuitive to the greater good. 420 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:59,399 Speaker 2: And how I memorialize the dead is by trying to 421 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:04,480 Speaker 2: live well every single day, not just on Memorial Day, 422 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,639 Speaker 2: but every day. And that means right things, right reasons, 423 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,440 Speaker 2: you know, and God will take care of the rest 424 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:14,439 Speaker 2: like that. I definitely try. I'm actively trying to be 425 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,680 Speaker 2: a better human being every day in honor of those 426 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 2: who can't, which in turn helps me. Doesn't mean I 427 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 2: don't have bad days, of course I do. Everybody does. 428 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,200 Speaker 2: But I feel like that's the only way to truly 429 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 2: memorialize them is to live well every single day. And 430 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,679 Speaker 2: then you have these special occasions like Memorial Day or 431 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,240 Speaker 2: the day this man or woman was lost in service 432 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,679 Speaker 2: to the nation, that you can do something special on 433 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 2: that day to honor the way they live, not the 434 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,760 Speaker 2: way they died. And I think that those things are 435 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 2: vital to keeping legacies alive for those that will come 436 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 2: after us. So that's ultimately what I do is I 437 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 2: try live wall every single day. 438 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 5: So our son, Staff Sergeant Brian Burgess, he really was 439 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 5: the all American boy he had. He enjoyed sports. He 440 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:17,440 Speaker 5: played soccer from a very young age, and he played football, baseball, 441 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,360 Speaker 5: and he was really good at it, and he had 442 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,159 Speaker 5: a charisma about him. He was a natural leader, you 443 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,119 Speaker 5: could tell from an early age. We went on a 444 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:29,160 Speaker 5: train trip to Arkansas to visit my parents and took 445 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 5: the kids with us, Brian and Brandy, his sister, was 446 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,960 Speaker 5: with us. On the train, well, Brian got up and 447 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 5: he went, you know, to explore the train. Five minutes 448 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 5: later he comes back past. There's a herd of kids 449 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,959 Speaker 5: following him, like, what are you collecting? Children? What are 450 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:48,800 Speaker 5: you doing? But they just naturally followed him around. And 451 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 5: we saw that in his sports, We saw that with 452 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,120 Speaker 5: his leadership in the army. We talked to his captain 453 00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 5: and he said, we had our eye on Sergeant Burge 454 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,679 Speaker 5: just because he had that special balance. He had that 455 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,640 Speaker 5: love for his family, and then he had that love 456 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 5: for his men, and his men felt that and they 457 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:16,360 Speaker 5: literally followed him into Hell on that March twenty ninth, 458 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 5: twenty eleven. But we learned a lot of stories about 459 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,159 Speaker 5: Brian from his men. Stories we wouldn't that, you know, 460 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:30,800 Speaker 5: Brian probably wouldn't have told us. But he was an 461 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:37,560 Speaker 5: extraordinary soldier. He was an extraordinary son, a brother, husband, father, 462 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:43,320 Speaker 5: the father he was. He was a treasure to us. 463 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:48,560 Speaker 5: And when that treasure's taken away, you feel like a 464 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,120 Speaker 5: part of you is taken away and you don't think 465 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 5: you can ever get it back. But yes, and through 466 00:27:55,119 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 5: his men and his men's love for Brian, that that 467 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:06,640 Speaker 5: pain has decreased so much. It's turned into honor. It's 468 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 5: turned into respect and honor for my son. And I've 469 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,439 Speaker 5: told several people that I say, Okay, it's kind of 470 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 5: weird when your son becomes inspiration to the parent, but 471 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:18,800 Speaker 5: he did. 472 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 3: We're going to pause here for the last commercial break 473 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:35,720 Speaker 3: of the episode and we'll be right back. All right, everyone, 474 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:41,360 Speaker 3: we're back now, let's check in with Jake. Is Memorial 475 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 3: Day itself a taxing day emotionally for you? 476 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:51,320 Speaker 2: It can be, Yeah, it definitely can be, because you know, 477 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 2: we have a routine. We have a routine that we 478 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,160 Speaker 2: do every year and which consists of going to a 479 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 2: couple of different semits and paying respects to multiple people. 480 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:11,000 Speaker 2: And usually with the month of May, it's emotionally taxing 481 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 2: for me. And it's more so because it's you know, 482 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 2: I'm so deep in it every single day. But at 483 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:22,200 Speaker 2: the same time too, like I'm trying to pour myself 484 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 2: into other lots of other people to even not even 485 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,280 Speaker 2: get on the same plane I'm on, but like just 486 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 2: to even get in somewhat to the same universe. And 487 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:37,719 Speaker 2: it takes a lot because everybody's busy with life, their jobs, 488 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:43,000 Speaker 2: their families, their kids' extracurricular activities and just trying to 489 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 2: do the best they can to get by with what 490 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 2: they've got right now, and so it's it is emotionally taxing, 491 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,360 Speaker 2: but I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it. I'm 492 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,800 Speaker 2: definitely not complaining about it, because it's like I said, 493 00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,400 Speaker 2: I I'm reminded every day, not just in May or 494 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 2: Memorial Day that, regardless of how are what I'm feeling, 495 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,880 Speaker 2: every one of those men or women I'm sure would 496 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 2: give anything to feel that way one more time. I mean, 497 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:16,320 Speaker 2: of course it's emotionally taxing, but you're exercising emotion, but 498 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 2: it's not. It's not soul draining by any means. To 499 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,440 Speaker 2: me a matter of fact, it's quite the opposite. I 500 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,160 Speaker 2: feel like it's those souls that I feel like my 501 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,800 Speaker 2: souls fed and I feel like that's their spirit giving 502 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:37,720 Speaker 2: back to recharge and uplift me in return of honoring them. 503 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 5: After he was killed, I sank into a dark depression. 504 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,840 Speaker 5: It was scary. Beth was afraid to go to work 505 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 5: and leave me home because she thought when she came 506 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 5: home I would not be there in the worst sense. 507 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:57,080 Speaker 8: So I started looking trying to find some way to 508 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,880 Speaker 8: help us. I knew we had to be away that 509 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,760 Speaker 8: we could connect with other parents. So I started looking 510 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 8: and then I could find the great organizations for spouses 511 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:12,920 Speaker 8: and for children, almost nothing for dads. There's a lot 512 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:16,200 Speaker 8: for moms, there's very little for dads, and almost nothing 513 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 8: for the parents together. So I think in twenty sixteen 514 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,040 Speaker 8: twenty fifteen, a friend of us said, hey, let's just 515 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:28,480 Speaker 8: see if this works. Let's hold it a three day weekend, 516 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,520 Speaker 8: put the word out, let's see if anybody shows up. 517 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,720 Speaker 8: And we had forty sets of parents come from across 518 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,479 Speaker 8: the state and they were like, well, okay, and they 519 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,000 Speaker 8: all said, we've been looking for this, we can't find 520 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:43,240 Speaker 8: any way to connect with other parents. So we did 521 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:48,080 Speaker 8: it for a couple more years, and then everybody wanted 522 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 8: to come back, and we realized, Okay, if we're going 523 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,800 Speaker 8: to do this, we need to be a five oh 524 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:53,880 Speaker 8: one C three. So we became a five o' one 525 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,880 Speaker 8: C three and twenty seventeen and we've been doing it 526 00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:01,600 Speaker 8: ever since. And then three years ago partnered with American Airlines. 527 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 8: They donate miles Airline miles, so now we're able to 528 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,080 Speaker 8: fly parents in from across the country just to come 529 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:12,080 Speaker 8: just four days of just connecting and healing and talking 530 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,440 Speaker 8: about your son and your daughter and just talking to 531 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:18,680 Speaker 8: other people who have an idea of your loss, because 532 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 8: we said from the very beginning it wasn't just going 533 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,520 Speaker 8: to be killed in action, it was going to be 534 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 8: any loss. If you lost your child who was serving, 535 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:31,240 Speaker 8: please come. And those parents struggle even harder than we did, 536 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:33,920 Speaker 8: because you get they get the folded flag. We're very 537 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,640 Speaker 8: sorry for your loss, and that's it. And so we've 538 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,400 Speaker 8: had a lot of them with similar circumstances come and 539 00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:43,000 Speaker 8: connect with each other and then that connection lasts, hopefully 540 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,320 Speaker 8: for the rest of their lives. 541 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:49,160 Speaker 3: It sounds like you're describing a pretty significant connection with 542 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,880 Speaker 3: those that are no longer with us on this earthly plane. 543 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 3: Do you feel a connection to other members of your 544 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 3: community that are also memorializing them. 545 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:06,840 Speaker 2: Absolutely, yeah, because it is it's a process of connection, 546 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,320 Speaker 2: you know, And so I feel like it's something that, 547 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 2: like I said, I think it's a it's a great 548 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:19,720 Speaker 2: opportunity to bring people together because it's one very simple, 549 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:25,760 Speaker 2: common purpose for that one thing, and it's not difficult 550 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,400 Speaker 2: to do. Like it's not you're not you're not trying 551 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:34,680 Speaker 2: to resolve the theory of relativity, right, it's not extremely 552 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:38,520 Speaker 2: taxing when it comes to brain power, it's fairly simple. 553 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:42,920 Speaker 2: So yeah, there's a lot of connection throughout that evolution, 554 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:47,160 Speaker 2: which which is great and I think that attributes to 555 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 2: the soul food of the whole process. 556 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,720 Speaker 3: Will you talk for a minute about why you choose 557 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,080 Speaker 3: to use word evolution. 558 00:33:56,280 --> 00:34:02,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, because for me, that's that's what that's what it is, right, 559 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 2: It's a there's a beginning, middle, and an end and 560 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,439 Speaker 2: and then it repeats. But it's not the same every 561 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:13,400 Speaker 2: single time. And so for me, you know, that's indicative 562 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 2: of an evolution is you're evolving through the process and 563 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:23,600 Speaker 2: it's different every single year. You know, I learned things 564 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,440 Speaker 2: every single year, and not just about individuals or new 565 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 2: people or meet family members of the fallen, which I 566 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:35,240 Speaker 2: do every single year, but it's it is definitely evolving. 567 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:38,879 Speaker 2: Like from the beginning of the first time I experienced 568 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,680 Speaker 2: Memorial Day at the age where I was mentally mature 569 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,839 Speaker 2: enough to understand what it was to now has been 570 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,640 Speaker 2: a different evolution every single year up to this point. 571 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:54,080 Speaker 2: And so that's why I use that word is because 572 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 2: it's a it's a learning curve every single time. And 573 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:03,600 Speaker 2: I think it's impot gospel to not learn while you evolved. 574 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:12,919 Speaker 1: One tribe is proud to have founded the Silent Midnight March, 575 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:16,879 Speaker 1: where we come together as a tribe and kick off 576 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,960 Speaker 1: Memorial Day actually at midnight by walking around six miles 577 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,760 Speaker 1: in silence. The only thing you'll hear is the clinging 578 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,360 Speaker 1: of the dog tags on Terry Burgess's backpack. 579 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,799 Speaker 3: Last final thing, would you tell me about what you're 580 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:33,960 Speaker 3: literally carrying? 581 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 8: Sure? 582 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 7: The backpack and everything. 583 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,120 Speaker 5: So every year at carry the Load, I have a 584 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:48,040 Speaker 5: backpack and it has the six names, has my son's name, Brian, 585 00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,160 Speaker 5: and the five names of the soldiers that were killed 586 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:56,840 Speaker 5: with Brian that same morning. So the backpack has the 587 00:35:56,960 --> 00:36:00,359 Speaker 5: names of the of the sixth fallen on it. And 588 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:05,360 Speaker 5: then it also has I don't know dozens of dog 589 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:09,200 Speaker 5: tags and metals from various events that Beth and I 590 00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:12,720 Speaker 5: have attended where we can talk about Brian and his brothers, 591 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,560 Speaker 5: And it has some of the challenge coins that we've 592 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:19,760 Speaker 5: clicked over the years. And on top of the pack, 593 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:23,080 Speaker 5: I have a pair of shoes. My daughter in law 594 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,400 Speaker 5: said she found a pair of Brian's old sneakers. He 595 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,239 Speaker 5: loved to run. He loved to walk, he loved to hike. 596 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,240 Speaker 5: So she said, you want his shoes? I said sure, 597 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,919 Speaker 5: But the thing was he had tiny feet. My feet 598 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,960 Speaker 5: are a little bit bigger than his. So I strapped 599 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,840 Speaker 5: him onto the top of my backpack and I just 600 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,239 Speaker 5: been a little sign on said my son's shoes, and 601 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,759 Speaker 5: I'm carrying my son's shoes. And we've had it here 602 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,600 Speaker 5: several years at Carry the Load. We've taken it to 603 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:54,720 Speaker 5: the Baton Memorial Death March at White Sands and walked 604 00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:57,920 Speaker 5: the honor fourteen miles with it there. We've had it 605 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:03,480 Speaker 5: at Fort Campbell and it's always emotional to me to 606 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,480 Speaker 5: have somebody stop me and they say can I touch 607 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 5: the shoes? Absolutely? Yeah. So it's kind of a backpack memorial. 608 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 3: Like Carry the Load itself. This two part series is 609 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 3: an evolution, and next week we conclude our story in 610 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,640 Speaker 3: a much different place than where it started. I want 611 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,520 Speaker 3: to thank Don Nowin and the Burgesses for hopping on 612 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,240 Speaker 3: the mic with me and joining the show. 613 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,960 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening to the Good Stuff. 614 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,400 Speaker 1: If you appreciate this show, please subscribe, like, and review 615 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,680 Speaker 1: The Good Stuff podcast, and connect with us on social media. 616 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,840 Speaker 2: We love hearing from you, so please reach out for 617 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 2: our website. Our links and contact information is in the 618 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,240 Speaker 2: show notes of this episode. 619 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,200 Speaker 3: And it would mean the world to us if you 620 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,480 Speaker 3: shared this episode with the people in your life who 621 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 3: might also enjoy it. We'll be back next week, but 622 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,719 Speaker 3: in the meantime, if you're looking for a companion piece 623 00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 3: of this episode, please check out our episode A Yellow 624 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,439 Speaker 3: Rose Never Dies with Judy Littlefield from season one. 625 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,800 Speaker 2: Put on your badass capes and go be great today 626 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,440 Speaker 2: and remember you can't do epic things without epic people. 627 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,080 Speaker 1: Again, thank you for listening to the good Stuff. 628 00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:29,520 Speaker 3: The Good Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob 629 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:33,479 Speaker 3: Shick and Leah Pictures, Hosted by Ashley Shick, Jacob Shick, 630 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:38,640 Speaker 3: and Nick Cassolini. Produced by Nick Cassolini, Engineering, editing and 631 00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:48,239 Speaker 3: post production supervision by Nick Cassolini. Music by Will Tendy.