WEBVTT - Are Kids Technology Crackheads? 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.520 Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife, 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:04.280 and she couldn't. 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:06.840 She cleaned and cared for her children and the man 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:09.640 of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. 0:00:09.800 --> 0:00:12.240 She was both obedient and soft by nature. 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:15.600 She was a good woman who always made good choices. 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:18.720 We're good mom's bad choices. 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:21.520 Two single mom who said, but the patriarchy shared all 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:22.480 their bad choices and. 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:25.119 Sound out they were so bad after all, we're experts. 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:26.600 Overshares and your new besties. 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:28.240 Sit back and enjoy the ride. 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:29.400 I can do it. 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:32.839 Well. 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:34.720 Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices. 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:38.199 I'm me and I'm Erica. 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:41.600 And it's Wednesday, bitches, it's Wednesday. 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:42.720 It's September. 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:48.400 It's almost fall, and we're still here. We're still kicking. 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:50.680 We're still here. 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:53.720 We couldn't be and Mila, have we have You might 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:55.240 have not seen us in the studio in a while. 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:56.880 Don't worry, we'll be there soon. 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:00.960 It's just we're fighting for our lives, motherhood because school 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:03.600 has started, and this is what this is what happens 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:06.160 when you know. I just want to encourage the mom's 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:10.280 listening to parents listening, just like the come just to 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.640 come stop trying to fit a circle into a square. 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:17.920 Just give up a little bit, you know, giving up? 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:18.920 What are we giving up? 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:21.880 You know, like just go get the Chick fil a, 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:24.440 you know, just don't. You don't have to cook dinner 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:26.319 all week because it's week one or week three of 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:31.160 fucking like schooling. Like it's okay, you are good, mom, 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:34.560 and you don't have to prove it, Like we're done. 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:37.640 I'm done proving it. I've done. I've done trying to 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:40.800 like drive one hour to the studio when I know 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:43.640 my day is jam packed because I need to prove 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:45.880 that I am a business owner and I'm a podcaster 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:48.920 and I'm just no bitch. You're tired, So sit your 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:51.840 ass in your house, get on the zoom and record 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:54.600 the goddamn episode. I'm just in a season of make 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:57.720 your life easier. Stop trying to make it so fucking hard. 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:01.200 I mean, yeah, why it's the point of making it 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:04.240 hard when it could just be easy. And like Lauren 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:08.840 Lauren Hill said, it's just don't, yeah, don't make things 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:09.920 more complicated. 0:02:09.919 --> 0:02:11.480 And I think that also applies to. 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:14.560 Like your inner thoughts, Like sometimes your thoughts will come 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:16.840 and ruin your fuck up your day. And it's just 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:19.800 like you have to say, no, I'm not doing that. 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:23.000 I'm not going down that route. I'm not entertaining the 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:26.080 things that are going to overwhelm me and piss me off. 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:28.040 I'm gonna go this other route, which is. 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:30.800 La la la la la la la. I'm doing just fine. 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:33.639 I'm breathing, and I think we all kind of forget that. 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:36.720 If you're breathing, if you woke up this morning, you 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:40.040 have roof over your head, if you got some food, 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:43.880 what's really wrong with you? What's wrong other than that? 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:46.200 These are these are the core things that we need. 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:48.640 If you have love, you have family, you have shelter, 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:52.360 you have food, everything else will figure itself out. Just 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:54.720 stop trying to figure out everything in one time. It 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:57.160 just doesn't work that way. It never works that way. 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:00.320 So yeah, I'm going to succumb. I'm going to just 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:04.520 rest and not try to do and be everything at 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:08.480 one time and figure everything out. We have a friend 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:13.200 who is a Capricorn and she figures everything out at 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:16.520 the top level of all things, and I just realize, like, 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:19.360 I'm not her, and that's okay, But I can just 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:22.520 get I CA can just slow drip from her just 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:25.880 being around her. I think sometimes we have like people 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:27.800 in our circle that like you admire, but then they 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:29.480 also piss you the fuck off because they remind you 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:31.680 what you're not doing. But I'm like, I need a 0:03:31.720 --> 0:03:33.600 friend like that to remind me you don't have to 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:36.440 be to that level. But also it's nice to know 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:39.800 that there's people who are capable, and we're all capable 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:41.560 of different things in different times. 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:45.040 And that's okay, I'm. 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:45.760 Playing the you know what. 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:49.680 It's like you either there's women like that, but then 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:53.440 there's women like that also that do that me hello, 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:57.760 and like then you lose steam and you can't maintain. 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:02.440 So it's like you have to pay yourself right when 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:05.880 you're excited about something or like you're motivated about something, 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:08.000 like you can go balls to the wall and then 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:12.000 like halfway through your creation, you're fucking tapped out, like 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:15.160 you're exhausted. You you don't have any more ideas because 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:16.960 you put all of them on the table, like the 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:22.360 week week one, and like you don't like there's nothing 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:26.320 left to do, you know, Like so it's just it's 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:30.320 a slow burn, slow I'm letting. I'm letting this This 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:33.080 year of fifth grade which I can't believe my daughter's 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.920 in fifth grade. Today's her first day of school, and 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:41.920 it's just like slowburn slow burn. Also, like I said, 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:46.960 if like during the summertime, she has more responsibilities, Like 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:49.440 she literally has more responsibilities. I've been grooming her all 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:53.640 summer with responsibilities, cleaning, making her bed every morning. She's 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:55.800 starting to make her own dinners. Now, she's been making 0:04:55.880 --> 0:05:00.000 dinner for herself all week. She set her own alarm, 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:02.400 like on her phone. Like, girl, you've got a phone 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:05.200 set that goddamn alarm, Like, use it for other reasons 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:08.560 besides roadblocks. Please. She woke her us up at five 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:11.719 point thirty this morning, woke me up, scare the shit 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:13.560 out of me, was standing over me in the bed. 0:05:13.640 --> 0:05:15.280 Almost punched her because I was like, what the fuck? 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:16.360 And then she was like, mom, it's me. 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.480 And you know, I'm like. 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:22.920 Yeah, you do you do the adult take this season. 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:26.280 You cook your goddamn meals, you wake yourself up for school. 0:05:26.480 --> 0:05:28.080 This is what fifth grade is about, this is what 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:31.839 this season of motherhood is about. So I'm just letting 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:34.240 it happen. And also, this month has been a real 0:05:34.400 --> 0:05:36.520 true act of like I just got to surrender because 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:39.520 I'm like really not in control. So I'm just like 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:48.200 counting my blessings and just doing what makes me feel 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:52.560 like my nervous system can be regulated, because for the 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:54.960 past few months it's been so up and down and 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:59.640 I'm I'm tired. I'm tired, but i have like a 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:01.680 lot of to be grateful for us, So I'm just like, 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:04.039 you know, just chill, chill out. 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:09.560 I think it's time to bring back old school parenting, 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:12.640 which is like figure it out. I'm gonna show you 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:15.120 one time. I feel like the kids have become like 0:06:15.160 --> 0:06:19.040 a little bit soft and nurtured, like overly nurtured, and 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:22.440 they kind of are like less responsible, and it's it's 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:24.800 like the norm, and I just don't agree with it. 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:27.400 And so it's like, yeah, fifth grade, ten years old, 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:32.440 Luna's almost eleven, like she started school. But I just yeah, 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:36.400 like be responsible, be independent, because our goal is that 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:40.800 we we hopefully prepare you for real life, and that's 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.400 just not realistic if we're doing everything fucking for you. 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:45.920 And in fact, you just reminded me I'm gonna I 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:47.760 got to text my baby daddy to make sure we're 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:49.320 all on the same page. Everybody needs to be on 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:53.159 the same page. We all need to be doing the same. 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:55.480 I've also released the expectation of me and my baby 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:56.920 daddy being on the same page. 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:00.640 But you know what, they trick us. I think I 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:03.320 think they might be more independent over there because those 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:05.800 they are not doing much. So I think they're tricking 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:08.080 us to pretend like they don't really know what's going on. 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:10.240 But I feel like at the dad's houses, they are 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:12.560 waking them up and like making their own lunch and 0:07:12.600 --> 0:07:16.640 doing the things, because like, are they doing it? They are, 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:19.480 and they're playing us and they're getting home like what I. 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:22.680 No know, Well, let's see it's a little bit of that, 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:24.920 or they're playing them too, They're like and they then 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:27.120 they like, don't go to school because that would never 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:29.560 happen at our house, but for some reason at their house, 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:33.120 like they're saying, I had a sniffle, she needs to 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:35.239 stay home. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking? 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:36.720 No, you didn't want to wake up and take her 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:37.840 ass is what happened. 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.560 And you know what, maybe I need a little bit 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:42.960 of that energy, you know, Maybe I need a little 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:43.680 bit of that energy. 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:44.520 Oh you got a sniffle? 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:47.800 Yeah, call it a day. Baby, we're not going You 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:50.160 got about one more this is your last year. Maybe 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:52.360 you got one and a half more years of schooling 0:07:52.600 --> 0:07:55.480 that you can pull this shit before it actually counts. 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:59.960 And honestly, what did I hear someone really prolific recently 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:03.680 and we've been known this, but basically said college literally 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:05.320 is a waste of money. You don't have to go 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:07.360 to college anymore. At this point, am I going to 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:08.560 tell my daughter that? Maybe not? 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:10.800 Who knows, but like it's just. 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:15.559 Like live in your life because the world might be ending, 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:17.920 so you might as well just like skip school and 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:20.320 hang out. I've been trying to convince Iri to not 0:08:20.360 --> 0:08:21.560 go to school all summer. 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:24.640 But what's that type of parent? What's that type of 0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:27.280 schooling that like the Hippi white people are doing, which 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:27.640 is like. 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:29.120 Self learning, self guided? 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:31.360 Yeah, like self guided, like you didn't even have to 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:33.240 learn how to read until you need it or some shit. 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:34.480 I want to do that. 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:36.839 So that guy in an organ that I met when 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:38.760 I went and got put myself in a cave and 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:42.280 he told me that his children realized they needed to 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:44.640 learn because they didn't couldn't read like the school, so 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:46.920 they couldn't read the signs on the street and he 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:50.000 was like, well, maybe it's time that you learned to read, 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:53.000 and so they did. But I'm like, I don't know. 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:58.560 I know your brain needs to like be nourished in 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:01.760 certain things at a certain an age according to science. 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:04.480 So oh, it's called the war the World. It's the World, 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:07.160 the World off school, it's like the World off school, 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:11.920 or the Waldorf School. That's it's a Waldorf school whatever 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:15.839 that school is. The Waldorf School does that method where 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.839 you self learn when it's time and you really what 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:21.200 you need to learn how to read the cracker jack box. 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:23.160 But I also think that's what. 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:27.120 So they're going, They're we're paying the Waldorf School to 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:29.520 send our kids to school and then letting them fit 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:30.959 like self guide their education. 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:35.040 Loo key yeah, which is also like that's a scam. 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:36.439 That's a scam. I can do that at home. 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:39.720 That's true, But I also feel like it's a white privilege, 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:42.199 Like God forbid, a black child doesn't know how to 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:44.400 read it until they're ten, Like, oh my god, are 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:45.920 you kidding, We're gonna I'm going to jail. 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:48.079 That's crazy. 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:52.480 We're so uneducated that there's only there's only certain privileges 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:54.920 we have. But I mean, you can imagine before the 0:09:55.040 --> 0:10:01.280 establishment and the system of UHED like this very rigid 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:03.800 system of like an education system. 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:05.559 I'm sure that's what everybody. 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:07.559 Was doing, like go farm, go fucking help, and then 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.959 everything else came after. This type of school that we've 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:13.840 been doctrined in is really just to train us to 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:16.040 be worker bees and go to college and waste our 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:16.800 money and then. 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:19.800 Blah blah blah blah blah. You know, you know, you 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:20.760 know the government shit. 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:26.280 Yeah, no, it's true. That's why it's important that we 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:29.480 nurture the things that our kids are actually interested in now, 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:34.160 Like you know, like Luna loves to draw and create, 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:37.600 and you know, I really love I really love sports. 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:41.280 And I realized, like she's very social too, She's like 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:43.000 very she's very pro social. 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:46.200 So I'm like, how do I not pro social? What 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:49.480 do I do with that? She take her to the mind. 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:52.120 She can make a friend anywhere, like she really can. 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:55.240 I'm that's such a relief for me as a parent, 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:57.400 because I know that there's a lot of parents whose 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:00.439 kids struggle with that, you know. So it's like, so 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:03.440 I'm grateful that that's just not the struggle that I'm 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:07.760 facing with her right now, like today, like when she 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:10.080 she was like yesterday, she's like, I'm really excited to 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:12.200 meet the new kids at school, like the new ones 0:11:12.240 --> 0:11:15.480 that are coming, which is you know, not that I 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:17.400 was surprised, but usually it's like I can't wait to 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:19.959 see my friends, like those little bitches that were harassing 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:24.520 me last year. And she's like, I'm excited to meet 0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:25.960 the new people, and so I was like, you know, 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:29.760 I was like, that's a really that's a really big 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.440 deal for kids that are coming into a fifth grade 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:34.880 class with a bunch of kids that have been friends 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:38.000 for years, like that can be really intimidating for someone 0:11:38.640 --> 0:11:41.160 to come in and not know anyone, And so I 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:43.679 was just encouraging her to I was like, well, if 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:45.680 you're excited to meet them, make sure. Well at first, 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:47.319 I said, do you know in the scariest part of 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.920 the day is for new kids, And she's like when 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.600 I was like, lunch, Like, lunch is the scariest part 0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:54.000 of the day because it's like where the fuck am 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:55.640 I going to sit? We who do I sit with? 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:58.600 And so I don't know, I'm crossing my fingers because 0:11:58.600 --> 0:12:01.080 I think it's like, well, it's past lunch now at school, 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:04.080 but I'm hoping I encouraged her. I was like, at lunchtime, 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:06.560 I really want to encourage you to like find a 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:08.960 new person and have them sit with you, because that's 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:11.240 going to be really even if she's not your forever 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:13.679 friend all year, Like, that's going to be really helpful 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:14.960 for someone. 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:16.199 Who doesn't know anyone. 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:17.960 And she's like, oh, yeah, of course, mom, I did 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.959 that last year with my other friend. I'm like, okay, girl, 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:23.400 get your little pro social ass out there the inn. 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:26.679 I asked Lenna about that, like, are then any knew 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:27.360 kids at school. 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:29.560 She's like, no, I don't think so. 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:34.079 I'm like, okay, well, Luna don't. Luna is like Luda 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.480 is social. Luna has no problem making friends. 0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:38.560 No, no, no, I'm not saying she's not social, but 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:42.240 she is like she's has she's she's like me, She's like, okay, 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:45.000 let me analyze the situation. When when we were in 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:48.319 Costa Rica and the little girl who didn't speak Spanish 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:53.920 wanted to hang out, Luna was like, then, I know, 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.800 I know, like like five minutes later they're jumping in 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:57.120 the pool. 0:12:57.120 --> 0:12:59.280 But before that she was like resistant, she was. 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:02.319 Like she doesn't speak English, like I don't. 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:03.640 Know, and then I was like, well, how are you 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:05.320 She's like, we're such good friends. I was like, how 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.400 are you guys talking? She was like google translate. I 0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:11.319 was like, oh that's smart. Yeah, Luna's Luna Is has 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:15.520 definitely been here before, for sure, for sure, maybe more 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:21.199 times than me. This Actually recently, she went to Minnesota 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:24.920 this week with her dad and she's texting me and 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:29.040 she's like, remember, don't say anything, but remember daddy's friend 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:31.800 that I said was really nice, some girl that they're with, 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:33.839 that there's a new girl every other month, because that's 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:37.160 what happens when there's another fucking household. And I was like, yeah, 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.400 she's like I think she's drunk. 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:43.160 I'm like, this is how she's texting me. 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:46.120 I'm like, Patty now, She's like she's really really loud. 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:49.160 And someone just came by and said free wine and 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:54.400 she said me. I was like, okay, She's like and 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:57.440 she's talking and then she's like and she won't stop 0:13:57.559 --> 0:14:00.960 talking to me. I'm like, there's no other there. She's like, 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:02.400 I don't know, but I'm trying to get out of 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.400 this bus. It's like this is I feel like I'm 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.240 talking to my homegirl, like why are you texting me that? 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:11.600 She's like, don't tell daddy, but I think his friend 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:15.240 is drunk. She is my homegirl. But like the amount 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.400 of like awareness that you have, like why would you 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:20.320 even know what that means? And she is she's you 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:22.440 know what, I really I'm proud that she's just self. 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:28.200 She's self, like she doesn't really need a lot outside 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.440 of herself, like if someone's not fucking with her, if 0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:31.200 things are not what. 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:33.440 She's like, all right, I'm out by. 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:35.680 We had a barbecue at your house last weekend and 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:36.960 I was like, mom's about to leave. 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:37.400 Do you want to go? 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:39.200 She's like, yeah'll leave with her. I'm like, but everyone's 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:42.560 still playing. She's like I'm good. I'm like, okay, well 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:44.760 catch you later, girl' That's what I mean. 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:49.280 What I'm saying, Like she's good on her own, Like yeah, 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:50.080 I'm just saying that. 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:51.240 I just see Luna. 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:54.760 She's very independent, so like if she's in her zone 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:56.800 and she's good, she's like why do we need to 0:14:56.840 --> 0:15:00.680 interrupt the flow? We're fine, Like why do we need 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:03.000 a new friend? And then the friend comes and she's 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:07.720 like Okay, she's cool, she can stay I am. 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:10.720 I'm really proud of her having that trade because it 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:13.360 took me a really really really really really really long time. 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:15.360 To like not care. 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:19.720 And she's just like, I'm fine, Like, Okay, that's that 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:25.119 Sagittarius energy for real, because she's just very self sufficient, 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.120 which I feel like, you know, like especially as girls, 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:30.600 that's something we have to learn, you know, we always 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:32.640 want to be included. We always want to like there's 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:36.360 just like this, we're we're programmed to like be a 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:39.600 certain way and like get validated outside of ourselves in ways. 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:41.640 And it took me a long time to learn that. 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:44.480 And she's just like, I'm cool, I don't need any 0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:48.560 of that bye, which I might, thank God a lot 0:15:48.600 --> 0:15:49.800 of Yeah, I. 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:54.360 Mean so many wife, not even it's not even just 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:56.480 a woman thing. I think people in general have a 0:15:56.520 --> 0:16:02.800 really hard time being alone in general. And you know, 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:04.920 if you can learn as a child, I think also 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:08.680 when you're an only child, it becomes I was having 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:13.000 this conversation with my friend Jared because we both like 0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:16.880 he's the youngest of his siblings by far, and I'm 0:16:16.920 --> 0:16:19.120 like the oldest of my siblings by far, so we 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:21.320 feel we have felt like a lot in our life, 0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:24.880 like we're only children, and I think only children a 0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:28.920 lot of times have this kind of like it's either 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:32.440 hyper independence or sometimes it's just like I'm good by 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:34.560 myself because I've spent a lot of time alone. Not 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:36.560 like your parents weren't around, but like you didn't have 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:38.720 a play buddy around a lot, so you had to 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:42.320 like kind of figure your shit out by yourself, right, 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:45.520 and so like as an adult, I don't really have 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:49.000 a hard time being alone. And that's good. That's can 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:50.360 be good and it can be bad because I can 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.560 isolate and be totally fine. And then but then I 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:58.640 also like I know that I need like socialization, and like, 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:00.840 like I see a lot of that. I see a 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:04.000 lot of that with people that were only children, Like 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:07.320 as I was thinking about that today and identifying the 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:10.360 people in my life that didn't grow up with siblings 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:12.720 or like much older or younger, I see them a 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:16.880 lot like okay doing taking solo trips by themselves, going 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:22.040 on solo dates, do going places alone. Like so I 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:24.679 don't know, maybe, but you know, Ari is she's not 0:17:24.720 --> 0:17:28.800 really an only child, I guess. So I'm curious to see, 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:31.080 like what her relationship will be like with her alone 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:34.879 time because like even my mom when we were in 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:37.000 Costa Rica, she was like I don't because I told her. 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:38.480 I was like, Mom, just go to the beach, go 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:41.119 buy go be by yourself, like go go like you 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:44.480 know ground and she's like, Erica, I know, like I 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:46.360 don't know why you think I like being alone. 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:48.280 I don't like to be alone. And I was like, 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:49.840 oh okay. 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:51.120 I thought all adults. 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:54.439 I was like, I'm like, are we all waiting to 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:55.879 be left the fuck alone? Like? 0:17:55.960 --> 0:17:58.840 No, okay, well just me? Huh. 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:00.880 I was like, do you want me to come with you? Fuck? 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:01.320 All right? 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:02.080 Well here I come. 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:05.160 You know, it's so interesting. 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:08.320 I was just reading this uh well, not article, because 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:11.400 who does that anymore. I was reading Instagram and there's 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:13.639 a tea there's I thought I sent it to you, 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:17.680 but maybe I forgot. There was a teacher saying it's 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:22.439 really really scary that like teaching kids in this in 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:24.560 this day and age, that they really don't know how 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:28.199 to be bored, and they're basically constantly waiting for like 0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:31.720 a dopamine drop, and like if you don't teach in 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:36.840 fucking one minute, colorful, fucking snap reels. Then they're just 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:39.120 like looking at you with dead eyes. Like she can 0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:41.400 literally be in front of a classroom and literally there's 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:45.720 nothing there, nobody's home, and you know, within like three minutes, 0:18:45.760 --> 0:18:48.000 if they're not stimulated of their board, they're on their 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:51.359 phones and like it's literally She's like, it really does 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:54.720 resemble like teaching a bunch of drug addicts because they're 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:59.000 like they're they're so reactive if they if someone takes 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:03.159 away their technology, takes away their phone, And I'm like, 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:07.240 what kind of world are we producing with the children? 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:08.040