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Speaker 1: All right, time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen.

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Speaker 1: If you need advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be

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Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're

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Speaker 1: going to read this one right here, right now. All right,

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Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the Strawberry Letter with

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Speaker 1: my good friends. Shirley straw Thank you, junior. Subject why

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Speaker 1: is he going through my dirty clothes? Dear Stephen, Shirley,

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Speaker 1: When you read my letter, I know you're going to

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Speaker 1: think my boyfriend and I are young. But I am

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Speaker 1: forty three and he is forty eight. We've been dating

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Speaker 1: for two years, and he is extremely intelligent. We both

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Speaker 1: love the Lord, and we have stable careers. So here's

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Speaker 1: the problem. I still go out with my girlfriends and

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Speaker 1: maintain a social life. Whenever I'm out, I'm not constantly

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Speaker 1: checking my phone because I want to stay present with

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Speaker 1: my friends. This was pre quarantine, so my boy friend

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Speaker 1: would want to know where I went, what I ate drank,

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Speaker 1: who was there, and what kind of men were there.

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Speaker 1: I haven't had the chance to hang with my friends

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Speaker 1: and months. So we got together last month and I

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Speaker 1: had a great time, drank too much and got home

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Speaker 1: too late. My boyfriend called me three times, and each

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Speaker 1: time I answered and told him I was fine and

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Speaker 1: enjoying myself. I got home, showered, and passed out. Early.

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Speaker 1: The next morning, my boyfriend popped up at my house.

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Speaker 1: He said he is convinced that I'm cheating because my

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Speaker 1: behavior has changed. He went into my room and the

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Speaker 1: outfit I was wearing was on a chair. He smelled

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Speaker 1: it and examined it. Then he did the nastiest thing

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Speaker 1: I've ever seen. He went through my dirty clothes hamper

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Speaker 1: and examined a few pairs of my panties. I just

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Speaker 1: let him do it because I knew right then I

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Speaker 1: was about to break up with him and put him out.

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Speaker 1: We've been broken up for two weeks and I've had

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Speaker 1: to him on social media. I started back answering his

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Speaker 1: calls last week, and he has apologized over and over.

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Speaker 1: He said he's so in love with me that he

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Speaker 1: can't help himself. He also said he wants to propose

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Speaker 1: if I'll take him back. Do you think he is

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Speaker 1: truly in love or will his paranoid behavior continue if

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Speaker 1: I take him back? Red flags, red flags, red flags

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Speaker 1: all over the place. You see them all through your letter,

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Speaker 1: and you already know the answer. You already know you're

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Speaker 1: asking if he's truly in love. He may be in

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Speaker 1: love with you, but this is certainly not the way

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Speaker 1: to express your love to someone you claim to love.

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Speaker 1: When you went out pre quarantine, he gave you the

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Speaker 1: third degree when you got home. What you aide, who

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Speaker 1: was there, what you drank? He was smelling your underwear,

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Speaker 1: smelling your clothes, going in the hamper, huh, and accusing

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Speaker 1: you of cheating. I just think he's too jealous. I

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Speaker 1: think he's too controlling. I think he does and trust you.

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Speaker 1: I think he's too immature. You know you haven't shown

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Speaker 1: him any indication where you're cheating. You you haven't been

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Speaker 1: out in a long time. You went out this time

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Speaker 1: because you got together with your friends after being quarantined

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Speaker 1: for a long time. He's saying he's so in love

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Speaker 1: with you. I just think that's an excuse to, you know,

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Speaker 1: justify his crazy behavior. I think these are all red flags,

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Speaker 1: and you need to pay attention to him, because you know,

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Speaker 1: we always want our men to change as women, but

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Speaker 1: they're not going to change. This is who he is. Okay.

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Speaker 1: If he's doing it now before you get married, it's

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Speaker 1: only going to continue and probably get worse. Sorry to say,

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Speaker 1: you know, if you do take him back, I don't

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Speaker 1: think you should. But if you do consider taking him back,

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Speaker 1: don't just marry him and think everything is going to

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Speaker 1: be rosy and all of that. Don't don't do that.

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Speaker 1: I don't think he's going to change. I don't think

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Speaker 1: you should put yourself through this. And if you do,

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Speaker 1: because sometimes we get weaks, sometimes they can talk us

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Speaker 1: into it. Please please get some counseling and make sure

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Speaker 1: that his behavior has changed for over quite a while,

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Speaker 1: not just a few days or a few weeks. You know,

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Speaker 1: you you this is gonna be rough if you decide

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Speaker 1: to do that. I don't think you should. All right,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say that, I don't think you should

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Speaker 1: take them back. Steve, Lady, thislet of crazy. It's wrong

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Speaker 1: on so many levels. You all are too old, he's

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Speaker 1: too old for this. You've been dating two years. He's

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Speaker 1: extremely intelligent. Sounds stupid to me, but okay, you say

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Speaker 1: he's intelligent, I go along with it, smelling draws and

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Speaker 1: picking up pennies and looking at stuff on it's not intelligent.

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Speaker 1: Here's a problem. I go my girlfriends and have a

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Speaker 1: social life, and you don't check your phone a lot

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Speaker 1: so you can stay present with your friends. This was

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Speaker 1: pre quarantine. So your boyfriend want to know where I went,

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Speaker 1: what I ate, where I drank, who was there, what

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Speaker 1: kind of men was there? And then you know, a

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Speaker 1: quarantine hit. You ain't had a chance to be with

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Speaker 1: your friends. So we got together, had a great time,

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Speaker 1: all right. So now you you you trying to make

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Speaker 1: it work right, so you go out with your girlfriends.

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Speaker 1: Now he tripped, but you had a great time. But

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Speaker 1: you'll admit you drank too much. Got home late. Boyfriend

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Speaker 1: called you three times. Each time my answer told him

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Speaker 1: I was fine. I'm enjoying myself. I got home, showered

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Speaker 1: past our Early next morning, my boyfriend popped up at

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Speaker 1: the house and then here's where the hell stars. He said,

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Speaker 1: he is convinced that I'm cheating because your behavior has changed.

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Speaker 1: What did you do? What did you do? He called

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Speaker 1: your phone. You answered, what did you do? That convinced

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Speaker 1: him that you're cheating? This is from this really intelligent

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Speaker 1: man you've got so just through logic of deduction, tell

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Speaker 1: me what you did to make him think that you

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Speaker 1: were cheating? He went into your room and the outfit

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Speaker 1: I was wearing was on a chair. He smelled it

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Speaker 1: and examined it. Now, let me ask you a question.

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Speaker 1: What happens if he misinterprets a smeil? What to hell? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I notice Sam Gray f WHOA. We'll have part two

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Speaker 1: of Steve's response coming up in twenty three minutes after

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Speaker 1: the hour subject why is he going through my dirty clothes?

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Speaker 1: We'll be back right after this. You're listening morning show?

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, come on, let's recap this crazy Strawberry

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Speaker 1: letters subject why is he going through my dirty clothes? Well?

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Speaker 1: This man that doesn't trust you. When you go out

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Speaker 1: with your friends, who calls you? And so one night

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Speaker 1: you went out with your girlfriends. He called three times,

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Speaker 1: You answered each time, told him you was fine. You

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Speaker 1: got home and took a shower, passed out. He pops

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Speaker 1: up the next day, goes in your room, picks up

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Speaker 1: the dress that you had on and smells it and

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Speaker 1: examines it. And, like I said before, left, see what

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Speaker 1: you need to be concerned with us. What what happens

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Speaker 1: if he miss interprets a smell. See he didn't smell nothing,

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Speaker 1: but he's convinced you cheating? But what happens if he

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Speaker 1: if he if he's missinterpets a smell, are you gonna

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Speaker 1: get jumped on? I mean, what's his reaction gonna be?

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Speaker 1: Because you ain't found out what his real reaction is

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Speaker 1: once he locks in on. Now you cheating because now

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Speaker 1: he's smelling your Panis he all up in the Indian

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Speaker 1: in your underwear? You scared? Then he did the nasty

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Speaker 1: thing I've ever seen. He went through my dirty clothes

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Speaker 1: hamper and examined a few pairs my panish. I don't think.

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Speaker 1: I think he has a fetish and you just now

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Speaker 1: finding out about it. He got a panty fetish? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he got a pany fetish. That sounds like a fetish

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Speaker 1: to me. Now he all up in there, just a

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Speaker 1: handful of pantis just sniffing. I got a partner, got that.

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Speaker 1: I've seen this up close before. He scared me. Wait, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he told me about it. I don't hate dog. You

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Speaker 1: need to go get some help. That's the first time

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Speaker 1: I've ever told a black dude to go get something

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Speaker 1: good advice. I just let him do it because I

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Speaker 1: knew right then that I was about to break up

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Speaker 1: with him and put him out. We've been broken up

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Speaker 1: for two weeks and I've had to block him on

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Speaker 1: social media. I started back answering his cause last week.

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Speaker 1: He has apologized over and over. He said he's sewing

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Speaker 1: love with me that he can't help himself. Now, let's

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Speaker 1: look at that statement right there. He's so in love

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Speaker 1: with you he can't help himself. So y'all been together

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Speaker 1: two years. He's so in love he can't help himself.

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Speaker 1: So what does he do with this so much in

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Speaker 1: love feeling and that he can't help himself? If you

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Speaker 1: get back together with him? What happens to the I

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Speaker 1: can't help myself? It don't go away? Shirley said, Jesus

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Speaker 1: red Flags sister, this dude right here, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to You have to come to an understanding of exactly

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Speaker 1: what you're dealing with him. This dude is a little

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Speaker 1: bit different now. He also said he wants to propose

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Speaker 1: if I take him back. Do you think he's truly

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Speaker 1: in love with me? Or will his paranoid behavior continue. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna continue. What's going to stop him from being

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Speaker 1: so in love with you and not helping himself. What's

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Speaker 1: going to stop him from being jealous? What's going to

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Speaker 1: stop him when he finally gets convinced that you're cheating

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Speaker 1: to act on it, because see, people like that, they

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Speaker 1: don't they don't search when I find out what it

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Speaker 1: is that I thank you cheating with me on that

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Speaker 1: has to be some more to the story. You ain't

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Speaker 1: even found out what the repercussions is for the cheating.

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Speaker 1: See you haven't even discovered that yet. And then you

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Speaker 1: said in the letter, do you think he's truly in

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Speaker 1: loved me? With me? I think the real question is

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Speaker 1: are you truly in love with him? Because while he

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Speaker 1: was going through your stuff, you say, it's cool, I'm

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Speaker 1: breaking up with him, So I don't really know that

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Speaker 1: you truly in love with him. You didn't say that

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Speaker 1: no where in the letter. All you got is this

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Speaker 1: real jealous dude. So if I were you, I would

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Speaker 1: be a little bit concerned, yeah, with this jealous paranoia

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Speaker 1: because once he is convinced that you are cheating, which

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Speaker 1: you are not, and he gets the smelling stuff and

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Speaker 1: miss interprets one smell, what's gonna be the consequences? And

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Speaker 1: if you got to do all of that? I just

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Speaker 1: smell these panties. What is this cigar smell? Exactly? Why

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Speaker 1: your panty smell like cigars? Where you being? Steve smoked cigars?

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Speaker 1: He dragged you into it. What you go write in

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Speaker 1: on on the letter? On? And now you are the

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Speaker 1: seeing him in everything. So lady, if I were you,

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Speaker 1: I would be a little bit concerned. Any questions about

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Speaker 1: this letter? Guys, I mean she put in here, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that they love the Lord. They both love the Lord

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Speaker 1: and have stable careers and all us love the Lord. Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: all us got stable is but we're not at the

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Speaker 1: house smelling now, mates, pen my god, so crazy, all

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Speaker 1: that bloody lord and all the Scott stable I'm not

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Speaker 1: in there smelling Marge's drawn and then he just pops

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Speaker 1: up over her house unannounced. Yeah, these are too many

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Speaker 1: red flags. It's just too much. So what if he

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Speaker 1: pops up over his house and he think you cheated

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Speaker 1: over your house? This dude, Yeah, this dude is difficult.

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Speaker 1: I just don't want her to get weak because he's

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Speaker 1: begging her back, you know, and take him back because

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Speaker 1: she thinks he's going to change. I don't want that

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Speaker 1: to happen, because that will that has happened, you know,

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Speaker 1: so many times before. Well, anyway, you know, don't take

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Speaker 1: him back. Please nah post your comments on today's Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram and Facebook. Coming

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Speaker 1: up at forty six minutes after the hour, Junior Sports

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Speaker 1: Talk in full effect. We got some sports to talk

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Speaker 1: about Junior Coming up right after this. You're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show.