1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:01,720
Speaker 1: Hey, gek, how's it going?

2
00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,480
Speaker 2: You know, man, it's going all right. Uh. I think

3
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:11,000
Speaker 2: I started off this recording session with a lot of

4
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,480
Speaker 2: energy because but it's it's kind of I feel like

5
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,959
Speaker 2: I'm crashing a little bit. Has ever happened to you?

6
00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:24,079
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I I've been crashing a lot lately. Like

7
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:30,080
Speaker 1: I I don't know. It was definitely an after college

8
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:34,840
Speaker 1: type deal where I just I feel pooped a lot

9
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:35,400
Speaker 1: of the time.

10
00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:40,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, so tell me what is it you

11
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:45,360
Speaker 2: wanted to talk about.

12
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:50,440
Speaker 1: Well, there's a few things, I guess right now, I

13
00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:56,200
Speaker 1: am like pretty I am pretty depressed, I would say,

14
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:01,720
Speaker 1: but like there are things that I, like I should

15
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,720
Speaker 1: be happy about. I mean, shit, I'm happy to be

16
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,040
Speaker 1: talking to you right now, to be honest. But uh

17
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:15,160
Speaker 1: also have some O c D that drags me down

18
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:20,880
Speaker 1: a lot during the day. And it's just like filled

19
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,840
Speaker 1: with a lot of intrusive thoughts, a lot of like

20
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:32,560
Speaker 1: i'd like it's more like compulsions too to my thoughts,

21
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:36,120
Speaker 1: because like O c D is like more towards reassurance,

22
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:41,080
Speaker 1: Like you have to consistently like reassure yourself a lot

23
00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,840
Speaker 1: of the time, and it just takes up like hours

24
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:50,960
Speaker 1: of my day and like I could be doing more too,

25
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,160
Speaker 1: do better about it, but it's just it's been really hard.

26
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,200
Speaker 1: It's been really hard.

27
00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,880
Speaker 2: What do you? What do you? What are you attempting to?

28
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:06,720
Speaker 2: You assure yourself of on a daily basis.

29
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,920
Speaker 1: That I'm a good person. That uh I'm like, uh,

30
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,120
Speaker 1: like I'm a good guy. I know I'm a good guy,

31
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,880
Speaker 1: but it's like a lot of the times it's like

32
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:20,040
Speaker 1: I'm a good person. And then also this is like

33
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,480
Speaker 1: a weird one because when I was like very young,

34
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:30,720
Speaker 1: like MYOCD started with like you know, intrusive thoughts, you know,

35
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,440
Speaker 1: just like really weird ones. And then like it also

36
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,960
Speaker 1: it almost became a compulsion to like step on cracks

37
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:45,600
Speaker 1: on the sidewalk. And now it's like now it's like, oh,

38
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:52,120
Speaker 1: I can't use my left leg, and it's like, hey, Willhelm,

39
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,600
Speaker 1: you can use your left leg, like you can walk,

40
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,480
Speaker 1: you can use it. And it's starting to get out

41
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,080
Speaker 1: of hand where it's like a compulsion of just like

42
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:07,959
Speaker 1: not using my left leg. And it sounds like crazy

43
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,800
Speaker 1: because like that's what OCD does to you. It's like,

44
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,520
Speaker 1: you know, you just constantly reassure yourself when you feel

45
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,240
Speaker 1: like you're going in in a in a spiral, in

46
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:26,040
Speaker 1: a cycle, and yeah, so like it's sometimes it's like

47
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:32,040
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm like balanced, Like I like

48
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,840
Speaker 1: it's like a reassurance of like my body is like balanced.

49
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,880
Speaker 1: But also I think this I think what this really

50
00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:46,480
Speaker 1: stems from is it's like another thing too is uh

51
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,760
Speaker 1: probably I think it stems from like Bobby dysmorphia, to.

52
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:56,520
Speaker 3: Be honest, Yeah, yeah, well what kind of body.

53
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:04,080
Speaker 1: I think it's the sense that well, like I was

54
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:08,320
Speaker 1: like really fit going into college, Like I was a

55
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:12,600
Speaker 1: pretty sick guy. I went to the gym like very regularly,

56
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:22,400
Speaker 1: and then I like started smoking more wheat, and I

57
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,599
Speaker 1: think that's when a lot of the anxiety started to

58
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:28,960
Speaker 1: was around that corner. So it felt like I had

59
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:35,400
Speaker 1: to go for this perfection. And then this was also

60
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,479
Speaker 1: when COVID started too. This was like around I was

61
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:43,240
Speaker 1: like a freshman in college, and so there was like

62
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,080
Speaker 1: the built up anxiety of like I need this perfection

63
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:51,640
Speaker 1: of like my body. And then there's like also like

64
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,880
Speaker 1: I don't know, the anxiety from smoking. And then and

65
00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,680
Speaker 1: then on top of that, I got cooped up in

66
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,680
Speaker 1: an apartment you know, with some roommates. There were some

67
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:11,599
Speaker 1: nice guys, but there's just anxiety from that. And it

68
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,640
Speaker 1: was like a lot, it was a lot of like

69
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,800
Speaker 1: and during all of that, and sorry to cut you off,

70
00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:18,920
Speaker 1: but like during all of that, it was like a

71
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:24,680
Speaker 1: lot of internalization of like these feelings of anxiety.

72
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:29,279
Speaker 2: I've been. I don't know if the things I've had

73
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:31,400
Speaker 2: to say or in any way, shape or form related

74
00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:34,840
Speaker 2: to what you're talking about, but I think i've been.

75
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:40,440
Speaker 2: I was today, I was thinking about anxiety because I

76
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:45,080
Speaker 2: have a lot of anxiety. I think my anxiety has

77
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,920
Speaker 2: gotten a lot worse in the past couple of years.

78
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:54,320
Speaker 2: It's maybe like doubled or you know, maybe like times

79
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,279
Speaker 2: one point five or whatever. But I think I've always

80
00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:01,000
Speaker 2: had a little bit of anxiety, and I've been thinking

81
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:05,760
Speaker 2: about it a lot, and I I've realized that, well

82
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:11,320
Speaker 2: a few things. Anxiety is like a is a it's

83
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:15,359
Speaker 2: like a thirst for control. I think like like like

84
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,200
Speaker 2: there's a weird comfort. There's a weird comfort and anxiety

85
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,520
Speaker 2: and it makes you, uh feel like you're in a way,

86
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,320
Speaker 2: it feels like it guides you. Like I don't know

87
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,920
Speaker 2: if you've ever experienced and I think maybe you alluded

88
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:32,279
Speaker 2: to this a little bit, that there's like a like

89
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,719
Speaker 2: when you're not being productive or you're not like moving

90
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:38,800
Speaker 2: your life forward in a meaningful way, Uh, it makes

91
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,960
Speaker 2: you anxious and in that way, and that anxiety, even

92
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:47,160
Speaker 2: though it's it doesn't make it makes that anxiety is

93
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:53,880
Speaker 2: weirdly like holding you accountable to do more with your life.

94
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:57,839
Speaker 2: But it's a weird paradoxical thing because on one hand,

95
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,960
Speaker 2: you could say that you're anxiety is helping to light

96
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,080
Speaker 2: a fire under your ass to keep moving your life

97
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,920
Speaker 2: forward productively, but it all but it also is making

98
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:12,560
Speaker 2: the version of your life that you're currently living worse

99
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:18,920
Speaker 2: because you're uncomfortable all the time. And so I don't know,

100
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,400
Speaker 2: but I don't I'm not gonna say if these are

101
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,160
Speaker 2: good things or bad things. I'm trying to let my

102
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:29,800
Speaker 2: anxiety go because after a while I do feel like, oh,

103
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,480
Speaker 2: if I'm like I use my anxiety to protect myself,

104
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,520
Speaker 2: you know, like like if I'm if I'm always anxious

105
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,520
Speaker 2: that something really bad is going to happen to me

106
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,680
Speaker 2: in some weird form, I think subconsciously, I feel like

107
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,800
Speaker 2: my anxiety that something really bad is going to happen

108
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:52,360
Speaker 2: to me is protecting me from the bad thing, because

109
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,960
Speaker 2: if I let my guard down for just a second

110
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,160
Speaker 2: and if I throw my anxiety away, if I put

111
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,480
Speaker 2: it away, that's when the bad thing is going to strike,

112
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,760
Speaker 2: and my guard is gonna be down. I'm not gonna

113
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,280
Speaker 2: be protected but U And so I've been thinking about

114
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,440
Speaker 2: that a lot because I would love to be less anxious.

115
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:11,240
Speaker 2: It would make my life better. And I think I'm

116
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:16,600
Speaker 2: slowly starting to arrive at a point where I'm gonna

117
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try one of my Like I know this

118
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,440
Speaker 2: is thinking very far ahead, but one of my twenty

119
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:26,200
Speaker 2: twenty five goals is to like let go of my

120
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:30,760
Speaker 2: anxiety and just like see what life is like if

121
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:37,920
Speaker 2: I let my guard down and just accept the circumstances

122
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:42,679
Speaker 2: of life instead of always trying to be on a defensive.

123
00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,600
Speaker 2: And I'm really excited for that. I don't know why

124
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,400
Speaker 2: I've I don't know. I don't know why I've chosen

125
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,040
Speaker 2: twenty twenty five to do that. I don't know why

126
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,079
Speaker 2: I can't just do that right fucking now. It's because

127
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:59,360
Speaker 2: I'm just procrastinating because I'm scared. But it's weird, I

128
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,840
Speaker 2: think anxiety. I think I I could definitely write a

129
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:06,000
Speaker 2: long list of ways in which my anxiety has helped me.

130
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,240
Speaker 2: But I could write a really long wait list of

131
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:15,400
Speaker 2: ways in which anxiety has just made my life uh suck.

132
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,440
Speaker 2: And I know and by the way I know anxiety,

133
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:18,960
Speaker 2: I know that that what I'm talking about is very

134
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,400
Speaker 2: differently from like O c D. Specifically, I know OCD

135
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:28,959
Speaker 2: is a very specific kind of anxiety. But I I

136
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,280
Speaker 2: I'm not a fucking I'm a dude in a gecko

137
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:36,720
Speaker 2: costume who's just who's experienced anxiety. And I'm anecdotally making

138
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:41,960
Speaker 2: these conclusions. But for me, if it's it's definitely a

139
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,120
Speaker 2: control thing. It's definitely a control thing. And if I'm

140
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:49,199
Speaker 2: letting go of that control, I'm what else do I have.

141
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:53,040
Speaker 2: I'm I'm naked, I'm bare, my supple body is exposed

142
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,559
Speaker 2: to the to the world.

143
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:55,200
Speaker 1: You know.

144
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if thats.

145
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:04,760
Speaker 1: No, it does because like I I agree on, I

146
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:09,520
Speaker 1: agree on like the seeking of control because like you know,

147
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:13,040
Speaker 1: when like I, so, here's crazy thing Like when I

148
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,480
Speaker 1: was little, I told you about the cracks, right, and

149
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:22,760
Speaker 1: this was like I don't know, probably like early middle school,

150
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:26,079
Speaker 1: and this, uh, this had gone on for a summer,

151
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,640
Speaker 1: like I would I would have to touch this crack.

152
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,280
Speaker 1: I felt like I had to touch this crack or

153
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,439
Speaker 1: you know if I even man. It was hard waking

154
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,040
Speaker 1: up in the morning because I had like blue carpet

155
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,680
Speaker 1: in my room, and the blue carpet would change to

156
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:45,800
Speaker 1: a blonde carpet into the hallway. So there's like that

157
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,280
Speaker 1: line that crack between the door leaning to the hallway

158
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,640
Speaker 1: in my room, and I'd have to touch it every day,

159
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,480
Speaker 1: and and it was a constant spiral of like I

160
00:10:56,520 --> 00:11:00,720
Speaker 1: need to, I need to, I need touch that because

161
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:05,160
Speaker 1: I have to remind myself that that I don't have

162
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,400
Speaker 1: to do that, so I need to show an example

163
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:11,720
Speaker 1: of you know me, you know, being able to walk

164
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,680
Speaker 1: through and like, you know, if I touch it, it'll

165
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,720
Speaker 1: keep me safe. And you know, it went on for

166
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,880
Speaker 1: three months, and you know, I didn't I didn't seek help,

167
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:27,000
Speaker 1: which I should have, but I woke up one day

168
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,400
Speaker 1: in my little tights car bed and I said, fuck this,

169
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,400
Speaker 1: and I walked past the crack and it felt like

170
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:39,000
Speaker 1: a lot. I felt like a lot of anxiety at first,

171
00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:44,600
Speaker 1: but like as the days went on, it did like decrease,

172
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:51,000
Speaker 1: and I eventually like escaped it, and I like, I

173
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:54,719
Speaker 1: think that's what, like, you know, could happen again. I

174
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,320
Speaker 1: know that's what can happen again if I, you know,

175
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:02,560
Speaker 1: oppose my compole shouldn't and my and my thoughts and

176
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,760
Speaker 1: my anxiety is that if I push through and not,

177
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,840
Speaker 1: like you said, let us you know, be be naked

178
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:14,080
Speaker 1: to the world. I think, you know, in a in

179
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,480
Speaker 1: a I don't know, analogy type way, we'll be able

180
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,199
Speaker 1: to find our clothes again.

181
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:24,160
Speaker 2: Well you ever, you ever, bro, you ever meet you ever?

182
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:28,560
Speaker 2: You ever meet someone who has no anxiety? You know

183
00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:29,800
Speaker 2: you ever meet a person like that?

184
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:31,560
Speaker 1: Yes?

185
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,280
Speaker 2: Yes, And you're just like, and I'm I'm always amazed

186
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,679
Speaker 2: by that. I'm always like, I don't know, I I like,

187
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:41,320
Speaker 2: it's like meeting a It's like a unicorn or something.

188
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:45,920
Speaker 2: It's like, this is a magical being and look at that.

189
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,840
Speaker 2: They're still alive and we were I think people would like

190
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,959
Speaker 2: And it's a weird thing, right because I think, Okay,

191
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,520
Speaker 2: like I'll just go back to like whatever anxiety of

192
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,000
Speaker 2: not being productive or of not moving your life forward,

193
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:06,320
Speaker 2: there's a weird paradox where like you're anxious that if

194
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,679
Speaker 2: you don't move your life forward, you're not gonna be happy,

195
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,959
Speaker 2: so you make yourself unhappy so that you can move

196
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,520
Speaker 2: your life forward so that you can be happy. Like

197
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:18,120
Speaker 2: it's a weird paradox, Whereas when you meet someone with

198
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:24,840
Speaker 2: no anxiety, they're just naturally okay and happy because they're

199
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,280
Speaker 2: fucking because they're living in the moment. That's what makes

200
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:32,679
Speaker 2: people happy. I think it's naturally okay. And every time

201
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,640
Speaker 2: I see that, I'm like, I had to fag you

202
00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:38,680
Speaker 2: get there, And I don't know, I really I wonder

203
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,440
Speaker 2: this a lot. Is like people who are like that,

204
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:47,120
Speaker 2: did they Was there a process they underwent in which

205
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:54,319
Speaker 2: they consciously decided to, through various repetitions, throw their anxiety

206
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,840
Speaker 2: to the curb so that that became the natural mode

207
00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:00,280
Speaker 2: of thinking. Or were they just born that way? Most

208
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,800
Speaker 2: of them are probably just born that way. Probably, But

209
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:09,360
Speaker 2: that doesn't mean that one cannot, through repetitions, become a

210
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:13,840
Speaker 2: less anxious person. And then also and not by the way,

211
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,719
Speaker 2: that's the internal side of it. There's also the external

212
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:20,640
Speaker 2: side of it. If you, I think, if you've experienced,

213
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,480
Speaker 2: if things are going well in your external life, it

214
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:28,400
Speaker 2: is easier to be less anxious, And then the inverse

215
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,480
Speaker 2: is true.

216
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,360
Speaker 1: Do you think like your ego gets in the way

217
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:39,200
Speaker 1: of like I don't know if it's like an ego

218
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,240
Speaker 1: of like, you know, like for me, it's definitely not

219
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,440
Speaker 1: an ego of like not seeking help. It's like I

220
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,000
Speaker 1: can do this, like I can get through it. And

221
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,720
Speaker 1: then it's like I get anxious and then I get

222
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:57,560
Speaker 1: lost in spiraling thoughts and compulsion and like I don't

223
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:02,200
Speaker 1: know if that's like like a like I don't know,

224
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:06,680
Speaker 1: like I guess, like for me, like you mentioned you

225
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,320
Speaker 1: know that person who you know used to be happy,

226
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,280
Speaker 1: or you mentioned a person who is a happy, go

227
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,680
Speaker 1: lucky person and you know they live like in the

228
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:21,560
Speaker 1: moments and you're like, holy shit, like how did that happen?

229
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:26,200
Speaker 1: And it's like for me, it's like I used to

230
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,960
Speaker 1: like be that person.

231
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,480
Speaker 2: And sorry, I don't want to cut you. I don't

232
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,720
Speaker 2: want to cut you. I don't sorry, I don't want

233
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,480
Speaker 2: to cut you off. But your phone is being shitty?

234
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,280
Speaker 2: Is there anything that you can do to make it not?

235
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,800
Speaker 1: Oh?

236
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,880
Speaker 2: Here in one second, Okay, we don't We don't have

237
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,680
Speaker 2: to cut this part out of the podcast. We can

238
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:52,760
Speaker 2: keep this, we can keep this in. Let's keep this technically, yes, yes,

239
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,680
Speaker 2: go I don't know why I want to keep it in,

240
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,680
Speaker 2: but I just it's something about it feels nice. Let's

241
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:02,760
Speaker 2: keep this particular tech glare. Okay, you were saying you

242
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,960
Speaker 2: were talking about the idea of a happy, go lucky person.

243
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:10,800
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, yeah, and like I used to be that person,

244
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:11,560
Speaker 1: like growing up.

245
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:16,120
Speaker 2: Oh so you went the other way around?

246
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:22,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I went the other way around here. One second, Yeah,

247
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:26,240
Speaker 1: I went the other way around, and like, yeah, I

248
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:30,760
Speaker 1: was very happy, go lucky. And part of my I

249
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,720
Speaker 1: think OCD or anxiety is like I want that back,

250
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:40,640
Speaker 1: Like I'm trying to reassure myself, like hey, like if

251
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,520
Speaker 1: you just do this, I'll get this back. And then

252
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,760
Speaker 1: it's like one little small mistake and it's like, oh

253
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,800
Speaker 1: my gosh, it's it's it's over or it's not over.

254
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:53,360
Speaker 2: Well, okay, so why did it hold on? Well, so

255
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,360
Speaker 2: you say you used to be okay, you used to

256
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,200
Speaker 2: be a person who had less anxiety, and now your

257
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,880
Speaker 2: person has more anxiety, and you you're correct pining and

258
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,400
Speaker 2: now you're pining for the past where you had less anxiety.

259
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,359
Speaker 2: Why do you think you have more anxiety?

260
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 1: Now? That is a good question, I think, uh m

261
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:34,840
Speaker 1: hm uh it might be a speaking of control because

262
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:39,399
Speaker 1: I feel like this is like a consistent theme with

263
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:43,960
Speaker 1: like you know, going after that that past of like

264
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 1: the happy go lucky self, going after this perfection. I

265
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:54,640
Speaker 1: actually lose what I had by going after it, and

266
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,159
Speaker 1: I you know, I don't know. I think, well, i'll

267
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:02,879
Speaker 1: tell you what my my is that because of my

268
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:08,200
Speaker 1: you know, when this started about you know, going after

269
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:12,200
Speaker 1: this this body, this perfect type or not even perfect type,

270
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 1: just like a very lean body, because I want to

271
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,920
Speaker 1: be an actor and I want to, you know, go

272
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,600
Speaker 1: into movies. And you know, I got caught up with

273
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:28,000
Speaker 1: you know, looking a certain way and going after this

274
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:35,400
Speaker 1: you know, this this body type. And you know, I

275
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 1: I think it was I think partially it was that's

276
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 1: going after something that's on it, Like you know this

277
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,720
Speaker 1: thing that you see through this the screen, you know,

278
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,440
Speaker 1: it's it's it's unattainable.

279
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,879
Speaker 2: So you're you're part of part of your anxiety has

280
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 2: increased because well let me ask you that, how old

281
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:54,960
Speaker 2: are you?

282
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,440
Speaker 1: Uh, I'm twenty three.

283
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 2: Okay, And this time period that this narrative that you

284
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 2: were less, that you were a happy, go lucky person,

285
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,920
Speaker 2: now you're not. When were you this so called happy,

286
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:09,760
Speaker 2: go lucky person.

287
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:18,800
Speaker 1: I'd say the last time was probably senior year of

288
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,679
Speaker 1: high school, freshman year of college.

289
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 2: Okay, so few, yeah, okay, because part of me feels yeah,

290
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 2: go ahead, or.

291
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:29,920
Speaker 1: I just want to give you more of a time frame.

292
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: The my first semester of college, no going into the

293
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 1: spring break of my second semester of my freshman year

294
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 1: of college is when COVID hit. But that's just I

295
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know why I need to mention that,

296
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 1: but there's some time frame for you, I guess.

297
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 3: Anyways, what were you Yeah, okay, so well I was

298
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 3: going to Okay, I actually take back what I was

299
00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 3: going to say that.

300
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 2: I think just growing up gives you a little bit more,

301
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 2: just gives you more anxiety. There's more responsibilities I was

302
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 2: talking about. My mom told me that because I told

303
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,719
Speaker 2: her I was anxious, and she she was like, well,

304
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 2: I think part of it is just yeah, when you

305
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 2: become an adult, you just have more shit you got

306
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 2: to deal with, though not inherently, I mean maybe inherently.

307
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 2: I mean you got to figure out a way to eat,

308
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:25,560
Speaker 2: and you gotta figure out a way to not You

309
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 2: just gotta figure out and not die. That's the and

310
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:32,120
Speaker 2: not dying gets a little bit harder when you become

311
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,120
Speaker 2: an adult because for most of your life other there's

312
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,679
Speaker 2: a lot of other people around you making sure that

313
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,440
Speaker 2: you don't die. And then as you get older, less

314
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,680
Speaker 2: and less people try to make sure that you don't die.

315
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,960
Speaker 2: And then you get really old, and then you and

316
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,680
Speaker 2: then you go into a hospital and then again, and

317
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 2: then you're again there's other people making sure you don't die,

318
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 2: but then you're more likely to actually die. I don't

319
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 2: know if that makes you.

320
00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:02,200
Speaker 1: Feel like it yeah, it's like a maybe it's sorry. Well,

321
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 1: maybe it's like losing. I don't know that it wasn't like,

322
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 1: you know, I wasn't a crazy kid.

323
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 4: It was like I'm invincible. I can withstand fire and

324
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 4: cars and whatever. But you know, there's that type of

325
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 4: like feeling. I don't know, at least for me when

326
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,879
Speaker 4: I was a kid, where I was like, oh, wow,

327
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,919
Speaker 4: it's gonna be a great day, Like it's gonna I

328
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 4: can't wait.

329
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 1: So what happens today?

330
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,439
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, let's talk about that. So when you were

331
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 2: a kid, you had a feeling that it was a

332
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 2: great that you woke up and you were like Oh,

333
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 2: it's a great day. I can't wait to see what

334
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 2: happens today.

335
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,680
Speaker 1: No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

336
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 2: You know, dude, I really want to be able to

337
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 2: describe this feel. I had this feeling last night. I

338
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 2: had this feeling last night that like everything was gonna

339
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 2: be okay. And I think I had been searching for

340
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 2: that feeling externally, and that feeling is not permanent. It's

341
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 2: gonna fade and I'm gonna go and say tomorrow, But

342
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,200
Speaker 2: I just like I had that feel. I had that feeling,

343
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 2: and I really I felt it deep. I felt calm,

344
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 2: and I was like, epiphanies aren't permanent. They that you

345
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,119
Speaker 2: have to have them multiple times over and over again.

346
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 2: But I had this little epiphany where I was like, oh,

347
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:30,640
Speaker 2: I really do think that all of this is perspective.

348
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:41,959
Speaker 2: I have nothing to envy about anyone else. I'm gonna

349
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 2: be alright in and of myself.

350
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:46,360
Speaker 1: Uh.

351
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 2: I just I don't know. I just adopted this perspective

352
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 2: that I don't need to be fucking anxious all the time.

353
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 2: And I just felt it. I felt it, and I

354
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,639
Speaker 2: felt like I could get there it just in my

355
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 2: own brain. And so when you say when I was

356
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 2: a child, I woke up and life was exciting and

357
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:21,680
Speaker 2: I was looking forward to things. I do believe that

358
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 2: that feeling that you're envious of your childhood's self about

359
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:33,479
Speaker 2: is yeah, is accessible to you, and you can just

360
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 2: kind of I know, I understand the the inkling to

361
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 2: believe that this is total bullshit, because some days I

362
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 2: do believe in it and some days I don't. But

363
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,639
Speaker 2: I kind of do believe that anytime you want, you

364
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 2: can just decide to feel that way. M Yeah, some

365
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 2: days it's going to be more difficult to make that decision,

366
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 2: and other days it'll come a bit more easy to you.

367
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 2: But I do fundamentally believe that life.

368
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 1: Is uh.

369
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 2: I don't always feel this way. I'm feeling this way

370
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,479
Speaker 2: in this moment right now as I'm talking about all

371
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 2: this stuff to you, But at my best, I'm operating

372
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 2: from a place that life is just about perspective, and

373
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 2: I think you can decide, you can just decide. I

374
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,439
Speaker 2: know this is I get where, but I think I

375
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 2: can just decide for me personally. I feel like on

376
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 2: there are certain days I can just decide to not

377
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 2: be anxious, and I can decide I'm going to enjoy life,

378
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 2: and I can decide to be optimistic, and I kind

379
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 2: of have that. I have that choice every day, and again,

380
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 2: sometimes it's easier to make sometimes it's not, depending on

381
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 2: what's going on around me. But I kind I really

382
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 2: just think that every day of the choice is here.

383
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 2: I don't know if that means anything.

384
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:10,400
Speaker 1: No, no, no, yeah, yeah, that's that's pretty helpful. I

385
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 1: I agree, because like, you know, uh, this childhood self

386
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:20,600
Speaker 1: of mine, like I I didn't care well like you know,

387
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:24,959
Speaker 1: if you know, I I didn't care if like someone

388
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 1: called me names at school, or if kids tease me,

389
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:33,159
Speaker 1: or you know, if I you know, I don't know,

390
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 1: uh did bad for an audition or I embarrassed myself,

391
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: like I mean, of course I'm human. Like I felt,

392
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 1: you know, maybe embarrassed in the moment or like I

393
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 1: was like, oh man, that was kind of mean, you

394
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 1: know whatever, But then I was like, oh, oh, well,

395
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 1: like you know, like hey, let's let's go over here

396
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 1: and see what happens and you know, have some fun.

397
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: And I think also, I think a reason I had

398
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,640
Speaker 1: this personerspective when I was young is my parents are

399
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: much older. When when I was a little kid, I

400
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 1: kind of just like I thought to myself, like oh

401
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 1: my gosh, like when I'm this age, like my parents

402
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: might be gone.

403
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, and.

404
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 1: Like you know, my my I told that to my

405
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: parents and they comforted me and you know, and I

406
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 1: don't know why, but like I think there's like something

407
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,359
Speaker 1: from that when I was a kid where I was

408
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 1: just like I I'm going to have this perspective of

409
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 1: just enjoying the day and then enjoying life. I mean,

410
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,199
Speaker 1: it could have been like a kid thing, you know,

411
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 1: type deal, you know, a kid perspective also like I did,

412
00:26:59,359 --> 00:26:59,640
Speaker 1: you know.

413
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 2: But it's not. Yeah, but it's not that is ah.

414
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,879
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, fuck, man, you can yeah, if

415
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 2: you really want Yeah, if you really want to, you

416
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 2: totally if you bro, if you really want to, you

417
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 2: totally can just sit in a room and go, oh

418
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 2: my god, I'm gonna die and my parents are gonna

419
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 2: die and all these bad things are gonna If you

420
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 2: really want to, yeah, you can. If you it's you

421
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 2: can totally choose to marinate in the all the misery

422
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 2: that there is to soak up at the temporary nature

423
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 2: of life. Uh, and you'd be right, and every single

424
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 2: marination would be correct, every single negative thought that you

425
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,360
Speaker 2: had about how life is suffering and you're gonna die

426
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 2: and everyone ever you'd be so correct and all of them,

427
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 2: but it'd be a bad way to live, you know,

428
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,159
Speaker 2: it'd be a bad It wouldn't be a good life

429
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 2: to live.

430
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 1: Uh.

431
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's comforting to you, but if

432
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 2: it's cot, we are we all are doing this, yes, sir.

433
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 2: Some of us live in slums and others live in mansions,

434
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 2: but we're all going in the same fucking place. And

435
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 2: that's I kind of that's comforting to me.

436
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,640
Speaker 1: Oh the oh you mean like, oh, oh, like we're

437
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 1: all going to this like same destination, like as in

438
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:24,199
Speaker 1: death in the end.

439
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 2: No, yeah, we're all going We're all we're all going

440
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 2: to hell because we failed to accept Jesus Christ as

441
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 2: our Lord and savior. We're all going to hell. And

442
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:32,640
Speaker 2: that makes me feel better.

443
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

444
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: Well was this was this was helpful to you in

445
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 2: any way, shape or form?

446
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: This was? Uh yeah, I'd say this was pretty helpful.

447
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: You know. I I should journal more. I definitely should.

448
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 1: It's just like I don't know, it's definitely a perfectionist

449
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 1: part of me that I need to accept that I

450
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 1: am a damn perfectionist and I need to accept that

451
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 1: there is there's just all in perfection in the world,

452
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 1: and I just need to journal. But I think the

453
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 1: reason I hold that off is because I you know,

454
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, I'm journaling this to myself. I'm journaling

455
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 1: what I already know to myself, and you know, it's

456
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 1: it's nice to be able to talk to someone and

457
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 1: like really like flesh out like your thoughts and feelings.

458
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm really helpful. Good, Now, this was helpful for

459
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 2: me too. This was not a lot of the One

460
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 2: of the fun things about doing this show is like

461
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 2: I feel like I get to work out my thoughts.

462
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 2: I feel like I get to work out and express

463
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 2: my thoughts on things, and I kind of leave being

464
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 2: like because here's what's here's what I just before we go,

465
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 2: Here's what's going to happen. Is like I went on

466
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: a I went on a whole big speech about how

467
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 2: life is all and like that's great, and I met

468
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 2: and I meant every word of what I said in

469
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 2: the moment that I was saying it. But like tomorrow,

470
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 2: the line is going to be too long at the

471
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 2: fucking post office, and I'm gonna get pissed off, you know,

472
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna like like an actual fucking life, and

473
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 2: then I'll be able to remind myself. I'm like, well,

474
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 2: you just you went on that you know, big dumb rant.

475
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 2: So you know, maybe maybe try to be more like

476
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 2: the thing that you're ranting about on your dumb podcast.

477
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 2: So so thanks for giving me the opportunity to make

478
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 2: that that dumb rant. I appreciate that.

479
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: Dude. I'm awesome. I'm glad I could help you too.

480
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 2: Is is there anything else you want to say to

481
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go.

482
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: You can accomplish anything you set your mind to and

483
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: hard to. And I wish everyone the best in their life.

484
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 1: And you know, yeah, I just wish everyone the best

485
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: in their life. And I hope everyone has a prosperous

486
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 1: and fulfilling life whatever it means to them. And yeah,

487
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: I hope they have a good night too.

488
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 2: Thank you, Wilheim, Good luck, sir, have a good rest

489
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 2: of the night.

490
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 1: Good luck to you. Thank you bye.

491
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 2: I like that guy who was nice, He was a

492
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 2: good guy. His name Willheim, famous for the Wilheim scream. Brandon,

493
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 2: can we put a Wilheim scream in the like right,

494
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna at the end of me saying this,

495
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 2: We'll put a little moment here and can you just

496
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 2: put a Willheim scream right there? Thank you? Brandon. Shout up, Brandon, Brandon,

497
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 2: the producer of Therapy, getto the Wilheim scream. It's this.

498
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 2: You guys have probably heard that scream before, right, It's

499
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 2: like a It's like in a bunch of movies. You

500
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 2: guys know that scream. I would play. There's a live

501
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 2: stream watching this right now. I can't play it for

502
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 2: them because I don't have I'm not good at soundboards.

503
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 2: But well, we'll put it in the podcast.

504
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 5: Hello, hey man, how you doing.

505
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 2: I'm doing I'm doing all right today. I'm doing all right.

506
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 2: I'm not doing as well as I was doing yesterday,

507
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 2: but I'm keeping it together.

508
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 5: What you did sound really really like happy yesterday.

509
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: I'm good.

510
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 5: I just got off work, just at home chilling.

511
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 2: Interesting, I said, do I sound significantly less happy today

512
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 2: than I did yesterday?

513
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 1: Uh?

514
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 5: No, not really. I think you sound pretty fine. But

515
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 5: I mean that's I'm not I'm certainly not an expert.

516
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 2: It's weird. It's kind of interesting. Having I feel like

517
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 2: a fish and a tank sometimes and my behavior is

518
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 2: being analyzed. I don't really mind, though, I don't I

519
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 2: think so. You know how a lot of people I

520
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 2: may have gone on this rant before, but I'll do

521
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 2: it again. You know a lot of people they had

522
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 2: that kind of they have the kind of fear of

523
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: like being perceived. Oh god, yeah, sometimes and I'm I

524
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 2: feel I mean, you know, I do a show and

525
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 2: people listen to my voice and stuff, and I know,

526
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 2: I know empirically that I am being perceived heavily, but

527
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 2: I don't feel that way. Or actually, I mean I

528
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 2: feel that way sometimes, But at the end of the day,

529
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 2: like what like in my maybe in my head and

530
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 2: my anxiety, I feel perceived, but in my body and

531
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 2: then when I'm in the present, I'm just like, oh,

532
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 2: I'm just uh, eating and going on the computer. Anyway. Anyway,

533
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 2: I don't care. I don't. I don't, I don't. I

534
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 2: don't care. What's up with you? Tell me about your life,

535
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 2: Tell me why you called in.

536
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 5: Uh So, I was calling in today to talk about

537
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 5: a stinky coworker that.

538
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 2: I have, Like he smells bad.

539
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, he smells not good almost all the time.

540
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 2: Oh no, oh no, okay, what do you do? What

541
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 2: do you work as?

542
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 1: Are you?

543
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 2: Are you in a truck with him and you're close quarters?

544
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 5: No, I mean I I don't know if I want

545
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,719
Speaker 5: to say, like where I work, but we are in

546
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 5: close quarters like quite a bit.

547
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 2: What's the industry? U?

548
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 5: Military?

549
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 2: Okay, you're both in the military, right, are you in

550
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 2: like the killing people in military? Or the building ships military?

551
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 2: Which military?

552
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 5: The ship's military?

553
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:31,800
Speaker 2: Okay?

554
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 5: Definitely not the killing definitely not the killing people.

555
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 2: Okay. I used to I might have said this on

556
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 2: the podcast right about say it again. I used to

557
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,439
Speaker 2: think everyone in the army, I just think that that's

558
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 2: I used to think that's what the army was, is

559
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: like it's call of duty. You like, if someone says

560
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 2: they're in the army, that means that they're like in

561
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 2: a war zone with a gun shooting at people. And

562
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 2: then I realized, oh, most of the most of the time,

563
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,839
Speaker 2: when someone says they're in the army, it's like they're

564
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 2: like on the computer.

565
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's mostly like most of the military at large

566
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 5: is just like with just stickle stuff.

567
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 2: Anyway. Uh, okay, So you have a coworker who smells

568
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 2: bad how long has he smelled that I do.

569
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 5: So I've only been working at this place for like

570
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 5: a few weeks now, and uh, pretty much like the

571
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 5: whole time I have been there. There's been like a

572
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 5: couple of days where I think maybe he's taken a shower,

573
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 5: But like talking to some of my other new coworkers,

574
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 5: apparently this has been an issue with him for like

575
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 5: a year and a half. Oh it's been like yeah.

576
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:30,479
Speaker 2: Okay, and you're in the and you're the new guy.

577
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 5: I am the new guy.

578
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 2: Yeah okay, so you're trying. Okay. So it's been established

579
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 2: in this group that this guy has smelled bad for

580
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 2: a while, nobody has had the heart to tell him.

581
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 2: And you come in and you come in and you're like, hey,

582
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 2: this guy smells bad. Uh, and then everyone's like, yeah,

583
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 2: we just deal with it. And you're like, oh no,

584
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: I need to be the you. And you're like I

585
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 2: need to be the change from within.

586
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 5: Go ahead, that's okay. So you're you're kind of half

587
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 5: right there. So our supervisors have told him like over

588
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,839
Speaker 5: time to like, hey, please like wash your uniform and

589
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,399
Speaker 5: like take a shower. Oh, I guess the guy he's

590
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 5: been told Yeah, like several times from what I understand, Okay,

591
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 5: so yeah, but yeah, I mean he's he's been told,

592
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 5: and you know, I guess it's like sometimes he'll get

593
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 5: better about it and then he'll just like fall back

594
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 5: into being thinky again. So I mean it's I mean,

595
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,399
Speaker 5: he's not a bad guy either, Like he's he's pretty cool,

596
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 5: he's pretty nice. He just doesn't shower or wash his

597
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 5: uniform as much as he should. And like being the

598
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 5: new guy, like I want to get there and like

599
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 5: see things that might be wrong and like try to

600
00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 5: like improve things and like make everybody happy and stuff

601
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 5: like that. But I it's just a weird thing to approach,

602
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 5: like telling a grown ass man like, hey, you smell bad,

603
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 5: please take a shower in like a nice.

604
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,319
Speaker 2: I don't know what the culture is because I've only

605
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 2: what's that move? What's the Stanley Kubrick movie Full Metal Jacket? Yeah,

606
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 2: where like that's that's the only thing I know about

607
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 2: the military is from that movie. Uh. And so it's

608
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 2: it's interesting because I would think that that ship is

609
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 2: like I view the military as a universe where a

610
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 2: ship don't fly, you know what I mean, Like people

611
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 2: are yelling at you and I'm like, how has this

612
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 2: guy been able to go this long without just getting

613
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 2: his ass reamed out by his superior? That's kind of

614
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 2: what happens. Is that not what happened?

615
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 5: I mean, it's it's usually not like a screaming at somebody,

616
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 5: but it's like, hey man, you're fucked up, like fix

617
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:55,280
Speaker 5: yourself kind.

618
00:37:55,160 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 2: Of thing, and and they're superiors told multiple times that

619
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 2: he's got to.

620
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 5: Wash up, right, yeah, like he like they had to

621
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 5: like watch this guy take a shower just to make

622
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 5: sure that he was actually clean kind of thing.

623
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 1: Like.

624
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,800
Speaker 5: It's it's it has gotten that bad from.

625
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 6: What I've heard, bro, I think you just got to

626
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 6: tell him because if this guy he's the If this

627
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 6: guy is a nice guy, two things.

628
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 2: One one is, if this guy is truly is a

629
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 2: nice dude, he would not want to make the life

630
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 2: of the people working with him more difficult by smelling

631
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,360
Speaker 2: like shit if he truly is a nice man. And

632
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 2: then two yeah, and then two and then two is

633
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 2: well I was going to say this, and then I

634
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,760
Speaker 2: realized that he's been told before. But if I smelled

635
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 2: like shit, I'd.

636
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 5: Want to know, you know, yea, you know, if I'm

637
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 5: exactly same if I have a booger hanging out of

638
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 5: my nose, like, please tell.

639
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 2: Me, yeah one time. If I have a booger hanging

640
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 2: on my nose and you tell me, I'll probably like,

641
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 2: I'll probably eat it with my tongue.

642
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 5: No, I mean yeah, just like real. I mean, you're

643
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,240
Speaker 5: a lizard, So yeah, Pat lizard.

644
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:16,479
Speaker 1: Shit.

645
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 2: Uh, why don't you tell you you're gonn tell him?

646
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 2: You're gonna tell this guy that he sinks.

647
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 5: I would like to. I think it's just like I've like,

648
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 5: like I said, like, it's it's telling a grown ass

649
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 5: man like, hey, you smell bad. I've never had to

650
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 5: do that before. Thankfully hopefully I'll never have to do

651
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 5: it again. But it's just like, how do I do

652
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:38,319
Speaker 5: this in a way where I'm not an asshole because

653
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 5: I don't believe in that ship like, hey, you're fucked up,

654
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 5: fix yourself types, Like I just want to like be

655
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:44,800
Speaker 5: constructive about it.

656
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 2: No, I don't think that you're trying. I don't think

657
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,760
Speaker 2: you're out here trying to police this man's life for power.

658
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 2: You're just trying to get through the day without wanting

659
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 2: to throw up pretty much. Yeah, So I think that's reasonable.

660
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:57,240
Speaker 2: I don't think that's being an asshole.

661
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 5: Okay, that's good. I think it's just how how do

662
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 5: I say that in a.

663
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:04,879
Speaker 1: In a nice way?

664
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:08,959
Speaker 2: I guess, well, I feel like a lot of people

665
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 2: in the military, they're like, I mean, they're like killing people, right.

666
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 5: Uh, I guess I haven't met anybody personally now, but okay.

667
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 2: So I mean general, that's I guess that's kind of

668
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 2: my bar for being an asshole. I suppose, Yeah, if

669
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 2: you're in the military, if you're killing people, and so

670
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 2: I think if you, like, if you were if you

671
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 2: said to me, this guy smells bad, I want to

672
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 2: kill him, I'd be like, I would say to you, what's.

673
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,760
Speaker 5: Your name, Brandon?

674
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,800
Speaker 2: I'd say, Brandon. That's kind of an asshole thing to do,

675
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 2: to kill a guy for smelling bad. But if you so, yeah,

676
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,800
Speaker 2: that's the situation where I would think you were an asshole.

677
00:40:56,840 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 2: But if you said to me, I want to how

678
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:04,839
Speaker 2: this guy smells bad because it's making everyone else uncomfortable,

679
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 2: I would be like, yeah, it sounds reasonable. So I

680
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 2: don't think you're being an asshole if you're not. If

681
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 2: you're doing that, yeah, is there anything else you want

682
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 2: to say to the people of the computer before we go.

683
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 5: I guess take showers and wash your clothes if you

684
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 5: don't already do it, you know, I don't know. I

685
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 5: think that's about it. I appreciate you taking the time.

686
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,800
Speaker 5: Like I said, I've first time calling in, so this

687
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:36,839
Speaker 5: really nice time to talk to you, and hopefully I'll

688
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 5: be able to see one of your lives show. Are

689
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,320
Speaker 5: you come into Southern California at any point.

690
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 2: Soonersh, Yeah, I'm coming to I'm coming to Los Angeles

691
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 2: the Masonic Lodge November eighth and ninth. November eighth is

692
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 2: sold out. November ninth has like a few tickets left

693
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 2: if you want to jog from that.

694
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:57,080
Speaker 5: Okay, that is a bit far for me, but I'm

695
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 5: going to think about it.

696
00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:59,400
Speaker 2: But I mean, if you come, he said, So you

697
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:00,800
Speaker 2: said you said southern California.

698
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 5: I guess I should have said San Diego specifically. If

699
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 5: you ever come down here, will most definitely be there.

700
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 2: Well, I did a show in San Diego a couple

701
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 2: of years ago and it bombed really hard, and so

702
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 2: I'm afraid to go.

703
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 1: But happened.

704
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,800
Speaker 2: I just was I just wasn't funny. I just was

705
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:21,319
Speaker 2: not good.

706
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 5: Well, I mean there's probably go maybe the people being kicked.

707
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:30,839
Speaker 2: No, I yeah something yeah, no, I think. I think.

708
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 2: Sometimes you just gotta know. Sometimes you gotta take the

709
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 2: l Sometimes you gotta be I think, if you like if,

710
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 2: sometimes you gotta be like, I sucked, I was not

711
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 2: I was not good because what the alternative is the

712
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 2: alternative to be like if if the alternative is genuine psychopathy,

713
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 2: to be like, the only reason one of my the

714
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 2: only reason one of my endeavors would not go well

715
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 2: is has to be because of other people. You're probably

716
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 2: a complete psychopath. So so sometimes you're gonna suck. Sometimes

717
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 2: you're gonna suck in life. Sometimes in life you're gonna suck.

718
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 2: Sometimes you're gonna suck. You're gonna be annoying. People are

719
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:15,800
Speaker 2: not gonna like you. You're gonna be really bad and

720
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 2: not you're gonna smell bad. But and that's so you

721
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,879
Speaker 2: have to accept that you're, you know, imperfect, and you suck.

722
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 2: Sometimes if it's always someone else's fault, then you know,

723
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe sometimes sometimes I do. Sometimes it

724
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 2: is sometimes it is, I don't know. Don't never don't

725
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 2: quote me on anything I ever say. Somebody on the

726
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 2: somebody in the YouTube comments quoted me. They like, I

727
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,879
Speaker 2: remember hearing that, Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh did I say

728
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 2: that already?

729
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 5: I think I think you mentioned it. I either heard

730
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 5: it in the podcast or on a street a while back.

731
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 2: Someone that quoted somebody had quoted you. Someone quoted something

732
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 2: I said, and I'm like, maybe uncomfortable. I'm like, don't

733
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,439
Speaker 2: don't quote me on anything. I'm just I'm just talking.

734
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,359
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just I wish. I wish all

735
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 2: these podcasts like someone can listen to them once and

736
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 2: then they disappear after everyone who's ever going to listen

737
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 2: to them listens to them. Because I don't know, don't

738
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 2: quote me on anything. I'm insane. Anyway, I'm sorry I

739
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 2: dragged this out for too long. And you know what,

740
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:23,839
Speaker 2: that's not your fault. That's mine. That's not your fault,

741
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:27,919
Speaker 2: that's mine. What's here? What's your name again?

742
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 5: Brandon?

743
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:32,440
Speaker 2: Thank you for calling Brandon? Is there anything else you

744
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 2: want to say to you already said? We already did

745
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 2: that part. We already did that part.

746
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 5: I think what Yeah, I think doing it twice might

747
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:38,359
Speaker 5: be a bit too much. Thanks, Lyle.

748
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 1: I appreciate you.

749
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 2: I love you. I love you.

750
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 5: Too, see you later Bye.

751
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 2: Goes on the line.

752
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 1: Every night.

753
00:44:53,880 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 2: Everything teaching expert