Speaker 1: The Nicki Gliser Podcast.
Speaker 2: Glaser.
Speaker 1: Here's Nicky. Hello here, I am welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: It's nick Glazer Podcast. I'm Nicki Glazer. I'm here in
Speaker 1: Saint Louis. Brian Frangie is in Los Angeles. Noah is
Speaker 1: in Arizona.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 1: Also city in Arizona. Noah.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah.
Speaker 1: I just want to like, I just want to know
Speaker 1: because you Noah just said she had an embarrassing story
Speaker 1: this weekend, and I don't want to, like, wait right
Speaker 1: off so that I'm sorry, Okay, we don't have to
Speaker 1: use it. I'll tell an embarrassing story first, Okay, Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: this weekend I went to the Grammy part Steven Tyler's
Speaker 1: Grammy's Party, a fundraiser for Janie's Fund, which Chris uh
Speaker 1: was singing all night. Jane's got a fund, which I thought,
Speaker 1: I'm like, did anyone not put that together? Yet? I
Speaker 1: auctioned off, so that part of it was so. Janie's
Speaker 1: Fund is like a charity that gives money to whim
Speaker 1: to support women who are coming out of foster care.
Speaker 1: They're aging out of the system and then they're just
Speaker 1: put out there and like the statistics are crazy. It
Speaker 1: was like seventy one percent of women that age like
Speaker 1: from foster care end up getting pregnant before they're twenty one,
Speaker 1: seventy one percent or something like that, and it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, and then high percentages of going to prison
Speaker 1: and being an abusive relationships and not yeah, not being
Speaker 1: able to get Taylor Swift tickets, just just horrible things.
Speaker 1: And no, it was it was just like devastating statistics.
Speaker 2: And so they raised money to give them guns.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they raise money for new face tattoos. No
Speaker 1: face tattoo removal would actually be part of the thing,
Speaker 1: but yeah, a lot of these you know, it's this
Speaker 1: is the thing is like I was on the red
Speaker 1: carpet right before the event. And I always do this
Speaker 1: where I like sign up for a charity event or
Speaker 1: like say yes to it, and then I don't know
Speaker 1: about the charity and then I get there and I
Speaker 1: like don't remember that that's what they're we're there for.
Speaker 1: But this one I actually did know a little bit about.
Speaker 1: But on the red carpet, they're asking like, why is
Speaker 1: this so important tonight? And I'm like, can I be honest,
Speaker 1: I'm here because I got invited. I it doesn't really.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that it's for a charity, but like I
Speaker 1: just wanted to go to a cool event. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I don't, I did. I did say I love a charity,
Speaker 1: and it makes me feel better that I spent all
Speaker 1: this money and put on all this effort to go
Speaker 1: towards something that I could like. And I auctioned off
Speaker 1: an item, so it was like, you know, I hopefully
Speaker 1: earned more money for them, but I'll get to that
Speaker 1: in a second. I actually don't think I did. But
Speaker 1: let's be honest, like it's it is really nice to Steven.
Speaker 1: No one asked Steven Tyler to do this fund, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like he's done. I don't think
Speaker 1: he's doing it for tax purposes, like he's I think
Speaker 1: he's genuinely like a good person who actually cares. But
Speaker 1: I would have been there either way. I would have
Speaker 1: and I like to give back, but it's it's it's
Speaker 1: hard for me to put that on of like oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that this is this is why I'm here tonight. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm here because I want to get a picture on
Speaker 1: a red carpet and seem like I'm interesting and and
Speaker 1: I've got stuff going on.
Speaker 3: You made page six Best Dressed Party like I did. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you made it last year.
Speaker 1: Wow, Hey I made it last year. What do you mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah at the Grammars when you were wearing that silver
Speaker 3: like gun metal dress with the choker, you were on
Speaker 3: the list as well.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah that was the Grammys too. Oh I forgot. Okay,
Speaker 1: well that's nice. Well that's all is my stylist Danny
Speaker 1: and Emma Style if you want to follow them on Instagram.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean so anyway, we were talking about
Speaker 1: it and I'm like yeah, like, and then we.
Speaker 2: Started getting into to the nobody's going to the Janey
Speaker 2: Foster charity events that Steven Tyler's not putting on, right,
Speaker 2: No one's going to a normal Janey Foster charity.
Speaker 1: Event that doesn't have a red carpet and doesn't have
Speaker 1: Stephen Tyler there and doesn't have tons of fee, which I.
Speaker 2: Guess an argument is why it's a good thing that
Speaker 2: he does it, because other none of these people would
Speaker 2: be there.
Speaker 1: And they raised like three million dollars in that room
Speaker 1: that night with bidding and auctions and everything like. It
Speaker 1: was seriously, uh, the.
Speaker 2: Much much person status thing to put on charity events,
Speaker 2: and it's just like something you gotta do when you're
Speaker 2: rich in order to you have your social status.
Speaker 1: But there is a tax incentive for sure to do it.
Speaker 1: And I don't think that's why he does it, but
Speaker 1: there there has to be otherwise none, no one would
Speaker 1: do it, right, Like not no one would do it,
Speaker 1: but fewer people would do it. Yeah, So I I was.
Speaker 1: I was happy to be there, but I was talking
Speaker 1: to these reporters about like why this is so important
Speaker 1: to you? And then I was like, actually, this is
Speaker 1: really important, because then I started going off in some
Speaker 1: tangent about you know, how I was born with a
Speaker 1: supportive family and the reason that I'm even able to
Speaker 1: be there that night is because I had I wasn't
Speaker 1: in foster care and I didn't I wasn't abused as
Speaker 1: a child, and I like kind of felt loved growing
Speaker 1: up and didn't have you know, I had a stable
Speaker 1: foundation to make me feel like I could do something.
Speaker 1: I had parents that's fancy naturally supported me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because most of the celebrities there probably were abused
Speaker 2: as children. That's why there's celebrities.
Speaker 1: Well that's why I also said, Yeah, I also said,
Speaker 1: these girls need this help because they've been through trauma,
Speaker 1: and trauma makes good art, so like, and it makes
Speaker 1: like for a really strong, cool person. And so I
Speaker 1: almost started getting off on my tangent about like if
Speaker 1: you're molested, you're cool, like I did. I almost went there,
Speaker 1: but I didn't, but I did. It was I was
Speaker 1: speaking to that and that, you know, I was checking
Speaker 1: my privilege at the door along with my umbrella because
Speaker 1: it was raining a lot and the event was really fun,
Speaker 1: but I at the end of the night, I had
Speaker 1: to give. So it was like this, we were just
Speaker 1: watching you go there and you sit and you eat dinner,
Speaker 1: and it's this really fancy, you know, three course meal,
Speaker 1: and I'm sitting at this table with all these celebrities
Speaker 1: and it's really fancy. Everyone's dressed like they're at the Grammys.
Speaker 1: The dress was rock and roll chic. So it's like
Speaker 1: it's it was. It was fancy. It was at the Palladium.
Speaker 1: It's big, you know, space, and it was so it
Speaker 1: was gorgeous. And I think, I don't know, someone like
Speaker 1: sponsored my ticket. I did not buy a ticket to go.
Speaker 1: I think there's like these tables you had to like
Speaker 1: buy a seat, but I because I guess I was
Speaker 1: giving I was doing one of the auctions they let
Speaker 1: me in for free or whatever. It was awesome. And
Speaker 1: but then the auction was after the Grammys. So we're
Speaker 1: watching the Grammys and I'll get into that later of
Speaker 1: like who is at my table and the dynamics there
Speaker 1: and trying to watch Taylor Swift win but not act
Speaker 1: like too much of the fangirl because I didn't want
Speaker 1: to seem lame because no one else really seemed to
Speaker 1: care that much. But it was the highlight of my
Speaker 1: night when she won, Like it was as if my
Speaker 1: best friend was winning. I was so excited. But at
Speaker 1: the end of the so we watched the whole Grammies
Speaker 1: and then after that that's when the auction start. And
Speaker 1: my auction item is like number ten, and my auction
Speaker 1: item is Taylor Swift's earrings that she wanted Cheese games
Speaker 1: them no because they they were like this is like
Speaker 1: they went for fifty grand, which isn't that much in
Speaker 1: the scheme of things, like other stuff was going for
Speaker 1: a lot. I think fifty grand was that's reasonable for
Speaker 1: it was some stacked rings, you know, like ring two
Speaker 1: or three rings that Jay Loo wore in a video
Speaker 1: music video and there's like a prominent picture of her
Speaker 1: like doing this and like yea posing with them, so
Speaker 1: you know she wore them, and they were the ones
Speaker 1: she wore. And then the earrings were the ones Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift actually wore to the Chief Game. I remember looking
Speaker 1: up these exact earrings because I followed Taylor Swift styled,
Speaker 1: which is an account that tells you how to buy
Speaker 1: her things. As you know, I frequent and so I
Speaker 1: remembered these earrings and I was really excited to have
Speaker 1: that be the thing that I was auctioning off or
Speaker 1: like I was. There was a guy doing the auction
Speaker 1: going like we got okay, I under you that. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: he there was a guy that did it and he
Speaker 1: was really good at it and sounded like what did
Speaker 1: you do. I was just like presenting the item and
Speaker 1: talking about it.
Speaker 2: But I, oh, cool, so what did you say?
Speaker 1: Was so nervous because it's like a room of a
Speaker 1: bunch of like celebrities and they're you know, mistresses and
Speaker 1: just different. There's like lots of people, lots of rich
Speaker 1: people in the room. For sure. There was there were
Speaker 1: people that were just like donating one hundred thousand dollars
Speaker 1: by raising their hand, just like okay, I'll just give
Speaker 1: that like really important people. And they gave me a script.
Speaker 1: This is always the way it is with these things.
Speaker 1: They give you a script and then they go but
Speaker 1: you can punch it up, and then there's no then
Speaker 1: but there's no like, Okay, here's the punched up script
Speaker 1: I wrote, and now you print that up for me.
Speaker 1: There's just like now here's They hand you the script
Speaker 1: and they're like, now here it is, and You're like,
Speaker 1: but you told me I could punch it up, and
Speaker 1: now you're handing it to me and it's the same
Speaker 1: one as before. Like I was just kind of gonna
Speaker 1: go off the top of my head. So I got
Speaker 1: this script and I'm like should I follow this? And
Speaker 1: then I was like, now I'll just go off the
Speaker 1: top of my head. I know, like what jokes I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make, And I just I went off the rails. Man.
Speaker 1: I was nervous. Bill Burr was there. I get nervous
Speaker 1: ever doing anything in front of Bill Burr because I
Speaker 1: like him so much, and I just know that he
Speaker 1: like is cynical about everything, and I don't know, I
Speaker 1: just felt I know that if I were him, he's
Speaker 1: really nice and like he was he, I know that,
Speaker 1: and I put it out of my mind, and luckily
Speaker 1: he left before I went on stage. I like, I
Speaker 1: was pulled early from my table and he was sitting
Speaker 1: at my table, and then I was pulled early to
Speaker 1: like go in the wings and wait for my item
Speaker 1: to come up. And while I was gone, he had left.
Speaker 1: And I was so glad because afterwards, I was like
Speaker 1: I said to Chris, I was like, oh, I can't
Speaker 1: believe Bill Burr saw that. He was like, no, he
Speaker 1: left right before.
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, not that it.
Speaker 1: Really matters, but like it kind of does because I
Speaker 1: just was so I started out good. I made all
Speaker 1: my jokes that I wanted to make. I was like,
Speaker 1: these are the same earrings that she nervously played with
Speaker 1: while she while she watched Travis Kelce go in for
Speaker 1: a pass or whatever. I was like, she definitely like
Speaker 1: went like this, like h she was putting them in
Speaker 1: and was like do I get it? Like I was like,
Speaker 1: she's touched these or her DNA is on it. You
Speaker 1: can the technology is advanced enough, we can you could
Speaker 1: use these to clone her someday and I was funny
Speaker 1: and then I was saying and then there's some rings
Speaker 1: that Jaylo wore in a music video that no one
Speaker 1: saw and that didn't get a laugh, but Eat just
Speaker 1: got groans because everyone suddenly loves her now because whenever
Speaker 1: there's like a backlash, you know with Io. You know,
Speaker 1: did you see that now? You know the girl that
Speaker 1: is in the bear that won the Golden Gloves? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean she hosted sl She hosted with j Loo,
Speaker 1: and there was a video that came out or a
Speaker 1: podcast clip that came out where she was talking about
Speaker 1: it was called the podcast called Scam Artist, and it
Speaker 1: was she was like, you know, who's the biggest scam
Speaker 1: artist going? Is Jlo? This girl thinks she can sing.
Speaker 1: So it was like two years ago that she went
Speaker 1: off about j Loo being a scam and then it
Speaker 1: resurfaced right before she's doing the show with j Loo,
Speaker 1: which is really embarrassing. I've been there before, or where
Speaker 1: you mouth off and then you have to like work
Speaker 1: with that person because you just don't think you'll ever
Speaker 1: get to the place in your life where you're like
Speaker 1: next to Jlo being like I'm hosting SNL, this Week
Speaker 1: with musical guests. Jaylo I talked about two years ago,
Speaker 1: and she's gonna be singing the thing I told her
Speaker 1: you she can't do. Yeah, so but anyway, so it's
Speaker 1: kind of like there was this like there's a lot
Speaker 1: of chatter online about Canty singing whatever. And then I
Speaker 1: think that because I I just said, no one saw
Speaker 1: the video because no one did. There's no way anyone did.
Speaker 2: It was I did.
Speaker 1: There's you the name of it is something I'd.
Speaker 2: Never even heard realized was still doing music now.
Speaker 1: I was just making a joke. No one watches musical videos,
Speaker 1: music musical videos, No one watches music videos at all.
Speaker 1: You know, it was just a dumb joke, but got
Speaker 1: groans because how dare I? And and you know, how
Speaker 1: dare I? Because I'm less successful than jaylos So I
Speaker 1: can you can punch up? Everyone?
Speaker 2: Did?
Speaker 1: Everyone forget that you can punch up that that is
Speaker 1: that we've all agreed, that's allowed. That you're not supposed
Speaker 1: to punch down.
Speaker 2: But like to make fun of celebrities as Ricky Gervais,
Speaker 2: he gets away with it, that's it, doesn't.
Speaker 1: They like were mad at him at first when he
Speaker 1: did that.
Speaker 2: Cool, Well, maybe that's the difference. Then maybe it's just
Speaker 2: like you can't care if they get mad at you,
Speaker 2: and then you got to get mad at getting mad
Speaker 2: at you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm so sorry you did io did?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Okay? Yeah?
Speaker 1: She she kind of said, like, I'm I I'm embarrassed
Speaker 1: of things I said two years She kind of like
Speaker 1: alluded to it and did in a really classy way.
Speaker 1: I would have not handled it that well. I would
Speaker 1: have been like, can I get on a different show?
Speaker 1: Like I would have just begged to be on different
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would have done if I
Speaker 1: were her those because you know Jlo is going to
Speaker 1: see it or hear about it that you were mouthing
Speaker 1: off on a podcast about how she can't sing. I mean,
Speaker 1: I just hope I never have to cross paths with
Speaker 1: her because I don't think she can't keep. But I
Speaker 1: can't sing, So I'm allowed to call it someone else
Speaker 1: who can't sing, you know what I mean? Like, maybe
Speaker 1: I should only be to call someone else out if
Speaker 1: I could sing, But I think it's.
Speaker 2: Somebody who's a celebrity. Should you should be allowed to
Speaker 2: make fun of anybody who's a celebrity who's in the
Speaker 2: public light. They're choosing to be in the public light.
Speaker 2: Therefore they are choosing to.
Speaker 1: Know about that publically.
Speaker 2: Why. I mean, that's part of the game. If you're
Speaker 2: going to be a celebrity, a celebrity, you need to
Speaker 2: know that people are going to be talking about you
Speaker 2: at the whole point.
Speaker 1: Even though it's not in good taste. I do agree
Speaker 1: with Brian. Yeah, it's just it's yeah.
Speaker 2: It's celebrities politicians the same time.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be made fun of, but I know,
Speaker 1: but I do know that it's part of it. And
Speaker 1: I have been made fun of, and I just don't.
Speaker 1: I just you know, I I laugh along with it
Speaker 1: and I go, I know, if any it's nice when
Speaker 1: you hate yourself deep down, because anyone that says anything
Speaker 1: about you, you can just go, I agree, you know,
Speaker 1: like it's really But if Jalo likes herself, so I
Speaker 1: think that's the problem.
Speaker 2: That would be a funny reaction. If you're sitting in
Speaker 2: an audience someone makes fun of you, and you and
Speaker 2: it cuts to you and you just go, I agree,
Speaker 2: that would be a funny reaction.
Speaker 1: Oh you mean, like a an reward. Do I get
Speaker 1: made fun of? Yeah?
Speaker 2: You could do the Taylor Swift thing of just sipping
Speaker 2: your drink, but I think it'd be funny if you
Speaker 2: turn the person next to you and go, you know,
Speaker 2: I agree, she's making love.
Speaker 1: I think it's hatred, though.
Speaker 3: I want to just say it's like, I think you
Speaker 3: have self awareness, Like it's not. It's not the self
Speaker 3: hatred that makes you that way. You have self aware life.
Speaker 3: A lot of people don't know them.
Speaker 1: So when people are like, would anyone anything anyway, it's
Speaker 1: kind of nice because anything anyone could say about me,
Speaker 1: I just it doesn't. I know I felt that way
Speaker 1: before about myself. I agree with you on a deeper level.
Speaker 1: It's I'm not fighting you on it. I don't know
Speaker 1: why I'm famous either. It irritates me sometimes too or
Speaker 1: like I'm not even like you know, whatever label of
Speaker 1: fame I have, it confuses me as well, like anything
Speaker 1: that you could be, like what's her deal? Her face
Speaker 1: is weird, whatever you could say she has, I don't
Speaker 1: know her feet or gross. I agree with you, But
Speaker 1: so I get up there to do this auction and
Speaker 1: I just it's just start. I run out of jokes.
Speaker 1: I run through all my jokes. I say you know,
Speaker 1: Travis Kelcey's saliva might be on these earrings because he
Speaker 1: whispered in her ear later that night. His spittle might have,
Speaker 1: you know, gotten onto them as he whispered, baby, want
Speaker 1: to get hot wings? And I did another and then
Speaker 1: I then I just I think when I get nervous.
Speaker 1: It's like when jay Z said, when I get nervous,
Speaker 1: I get honest. Is that what he said? I tell
Speaker 1: when I get nervous, I tell the truth. That's what
Speaker 1: he said at the Grammys. And I was like, woff,
Speaker 1: do I relate to that? Man? Like when when all
Speaker 1: else fails, just just start. I don't even know if
Speaker 1: I got honest. I just got gross. I got I
Speaker 1: got I got really vulgar. And I'm not like a
Speaker 1: vulgar person, but everyone but I am, I guess because
Speaker 1: I don't have a problem saying these things.
Speaker 2: But I was like, you know, definitely to the general public, Yeah,
Speaker 2: stick up their ass. Celebrities who pretend like they're so
Speaker 2: open to all sorts of artistic expression and then as
Speaker 2: soon as someone says anything remotely offensive, they get the
Speaker 2: stick up their ass so far that they're like a
Speaker 2: fucking puppet. Yeah, I mean probably what is the most
Speaker 2: stick up their ass group of people.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, they all they you sang a song,
Speaker 1: you wrote a song, and you acted in something. You've
Speaker 1: literally done nothing for the world. That's literally nothing something.
Speaker 1: They don't even write the song yeah, mostly yeah, or
Speaker 1: sing it.
Speaker 2: That's why people love when Ricky Face goes off with
Speaker 2: the Golden globes and then says like, fuck you for
Speaker 2: even getting offended at this, because these people are just
Speaker 2: clutching their pearls the entire night.
Speaker 1: It's yes, and I'll add myself to the list. I
Speaker 1: just tell jokes. I am not like an calling me
Speaker 1: an artist is a stretch and artists aren't that cool
Speaker 1: and the world would be fine without it. I mean
Speaker 1: it would be a little bit boring because art like
Speaker 1: makes you feel good and stuff and makes you process
Speaker 1: your feelings. But we don't really need it. No, it's
Speaker 1: not like we're not really changing lives in the way
Speaker 1: we all think. We all anyway, we know that. So
Speaker 1: then I just go I just start saying, like, if
Speaker 1: you have a swift ye in your life, you need
Speaker 1: because I'm talking to men, because men are the ones
Speaker 1: that are you know. Actually, there's some women that bought
Speaker 1: some stuff and we're paying big money. This woman I
Speaker 1: think spent like five hundred thousand dollars on a car
Speaker 1: that was auctioned off. It was crazy, but I was
Speaker 1: just saying, to anyone who has a swifty wife, you
Speaker 1: will get your dick sucked so hard it will get
Speaker 1: sucked off. I was like, I didn't say it, but
Speaker 1: I was saying to I was even Dylan Chris, like
Speaker 1: you know I was. I was just joking as other
Speaker 1: people were doing auctions, and I was like, they just
Speaker 1: need to tell people that this will get them laid.
Speaker 1: Like that should be the incentive for every man. Like
Speaker 1: if you raise up your little paddle right now, your
Speaker 1: your wife will blow you or whoever. And so I
Speaker 1: just started saying, yeah, this will get this. If you
Speaker 1: want to get a blowjob tonight and you have a
Speaker 1: wife that likes Taylor Swift, this is the guarantee she will.
Speaker 1: And then I go, if you have a daughter that
Speaker 1: loves Taylor Swift, she'll forgive you for trying to bang
Speaker 1: her au pair. I was just like saying, I was
Speaker 1: like that by your buy your children's affection, you will
Speaker 1: be Your daughter will be cool at school, she will
Speaker 1: no one will fuck with her if she has these earrings.
Speaker 1: And then I said, you know what, I'll blow you
Speaker 1: if you buy these earrings, if you buy them for me.
Speaker 1: I have a boyfriend, he's sitting right there. I don't care.
Speaker 1: I'll blow you tonight if you buy these and give
Speaker 1: them to me, if you want a blow job from
Speaker 1: nig And I'm just like going off and I don't
Speaker 1: really mean that, but I kind of do. And so
Speaker 1: then then I look down and I have forgotten. There
Speaker 1: are children here right in front of me. This is
Speaker 1: a huge, huge room with probably like three hundred people,
Speaker 1: four hundred people, and there are children sitting right in
Speaker 1: the front. And I remember that I knew they were there.
Speaker 1: Steven Tyler had talked to them prior to the auction
Speaker 1: starting and was like, do you play drums? You know?
Speaker 2: And he was talking as the foster women who were
Speaker 2: raising money.
Speaker 1: For Oh my god, they were the poster women. All
Speaker 1: they're talking about is like how they used to, you know,
Speaker 1: prostitute and now they don't have to do that anymore.
Speaker 1: And I'm there, literally yeah, And so I see the
Speaker 1: kids and then I'm on this like rant, and then
Speaker 1: I stop it. And the guy's going off of like
Speaker 1: we got twenty five over here, we got to can
Speaker 1: we get twenty seven?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: And I see the kids and then I just go
Speaker 1: like deer in headlights, like I can't talk anymore. Like
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be chiming in with like and they're
Speaker 1: sustainably grown, their lab grown diamonds, blah blah. I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to keep giving details, and I'm I'm horrified by what
Speaker 1: I've done because I see the kids and I see
Speaker 1: like the parents kind of like coddling them, and I
Speaker 1: don't even know. I didn't say anything. I wasn't like,
Speaker 1: I mean, that's as filthy as a god. As I said,
Speaker 1: I will blow you. I promise i'll blow you. After
Speaker 1: the show, but I felt horrible. I haven't worked covered
Speaker 1: from it. I can't get over it. And afterwards I
Speaker 1: was walking around just like so ashamed. I wanted to
Speaker 1: leave immediately, but people kept coming out to me and
Speaker 1: being like, oh my god, that was nuts. That was
Speaker 1: the highlight of the night and say stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But it was like I kept going, I forgot there
Speaker 1: were kids here. I forget, and they were like, it's okay,
Speaker 1: they're gonna learn somehow, And I'm like, yes, I know that,
Speaker 1: but there when they're adults, they should don't worry about that.
Speaker 2: There's celebrities children, They're gonna be fucked up no matter
Speaker 2: what happened soon.
Speaker 3: And if they knew what blowjob meant, then that means
Speaker 3: that they've probably heard more fucked up things than what
Speaker 3: you've said.
Speaker 1: Okay, other wise they would describe what it was. I
Speaker 1: wasn't like I will somehow in Venus probably just thought,
Speaker 1: like a blow comes out.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm sorry, did you hear someone say blowjob on stage?
Speaker 2: Does that mean you're gonna star in succession? Like that? Faith?
Speaker 2: Like you're these kids? Are you fucking them up? Is
Speaker 2: only going to make them become stars in the future.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, they've helped them, Nicky even know it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: trauma leads to people overcoming things and working harder. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and okay, so it was good that I did. I
Speaker 1: just felt like, you know, I just thought filthy. I
Speaker 1: felt like, you get her out of here, she'll she'll
Speaker 1: not she won't be invited back. She didn't understand the tone,
Speaker 1: Like it's almost like I wore the wrong thing to
Speaker 1: the event, you know, like you just feel like you
Speaker 1: didn't get the message and like you're not one of us,
Speaker 1: like it just felt, and I hate the added thing
Speaker 1: of like she wanted to like offend all of us.
Speaker 1: And it was like, no, I didn't I promise you.
Speaker 1: I was only trying to sell those earrings and be
Speaker 1: funny and also just like survive, Like my survival instincts
Speaker 1: are just go to filthy jokes like and I don't
Speaker 1: even really intentionally I promise you. I don't intentionally do it,
Speaker 1: and yeah, maybe it is just like a crutch because
Speaker 1: I know it'll get a laugh, but I really didn't
Speaker 1: even it didn't even get a laugh. I did, and
Speaker 1: it was not guaranteed too. I just was drowning and
Speaker 1: struggling for a life raft and I had no intention
Speaker 1: of saying blowjub. I was only joking about blowdubs with
Speaker 1: Chris in his ear as I was like making fun
Speaker 1: of other people presenting items, and I was just suggesting,
Speaker 1: like they should just promise. And then that's because I
Speaker 1: had said it. It was in my subconscious and when
Speaker 1: I started, when I ran out of jokes to say
Speaker 1: or anything to say, and it was just awkward that
Speaker 1: I and I honestly think it hurt the auction because
Speaker 1: I think that if a man wanted to buy them
Speaker 1: and he's sitting next to his wife, she now is like,
Speaker 1: he's just doing that so Nikki will blow him or whatever,
Speaker 1: you know. Like I think I heard it by like
Speaker 1: making that part of it, and I was like, oh no, yeah.
Speaker 1: So then I felt so bad and everyone was like,
Speaker 1: I'm surprised they didn't go for more, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I know, and then I go, oh my god, it
Speaker 1: was because I fucking ruined it. It was so bare.
Speaker 3: Maybe they just wanted you, like they didn't want the
Speaker 3: kids to hear anymore, so they were just like, Okay,
Speaker 3: let's just bid a whole ton of money on this.
Speaker 1: So oh yeah, yeah, so close auction. No, they they
Speaker 1: they were one of the lowest selling and she had
Speaker 1: just won her fourth fucking artist Album of the Year Grammy.
Speaker 1: They're like, it's like everything was in place for them
Speaker 1: to And even the woman holding the earrings was looking
Speaker 1: at me like what the fuck? She was just there
Speaker 1: to like model them and just hold them, and then
Speaker 1: she goes she just she just won four fourth albums,
Speaker 1: she just set a record for four hour and I
Speaker 1: was like, uh, and she had four albums like I was.
Speaker 1: She was even trying to help me by giving me
Speaker 1: like talking points, and I couldn't. I was just once
Speaker 1: I saw that there were kids there, I was disgusted
Speaker 1: with myself. I wanted to get off the stage. I
Speaker 1: wanted to go hide in a hole. I couldn't. I
Speaker 1: couldn't even handle it. And then I walked back to
Speaker 1: the table and I'm just like I didn't even see
Speaker 1: the Bilberg wasn't still there because I was hanging my
Speaker 1: head so low. And then we got I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to the bathroom, and then Chris came with me,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't believe Bilberg just saw
Speaker 1: how bad that was, and he was like he's gone.
Speaker 1: And so that's how sad I was. I like couldn't
Speaker 1: even look at anyone. I wouldn't even look at he
Speaker 1: was sitting at my table, and I had not seen
Speaker 1: any left because I was just didn't want to make
Speaker 1: eye contact with anyone because then they have to go
Speaker 1: good job. And it's like, no, it wasn't. But everyone
Speaker 1: afterwards was coming up to me like that was the
Speaker 1: funniest thing. I love you so much and it was
Speaker 1: a lot of gay drunk men. So that that is
Speaker 1: that's my Yeah, yeah, that's the niche demo demo. I
Speaker 1: want it anyway. Yeah, they I love it, And so
Speaker 1: I felt like so so good that so many people
Speaker 1: came up.
Speaker 2: Probably, I think is that you want to be accepted
Speaker 2: by this group of people, and the truth is the
Speaker 2: only way to be accepted by these people is to
Speaker 2: act like you don't want to be accepted and be
Speaker 2: above them.
Speaker 1: Uh No, I just didn't. I think I just didn't
Speaker 1: want to offend anyone or have someone think that I'm dirty,
Speaker 1: or that I think I'm cool because I'm being dirty,
Speaker 1: or that I'm being dirty because I love to just
Speaker 1: rub my sexuality in their face. Like I don't want
Speaker 1: anyone to be like actually turned on by me offering
Speaker 1: a blowjob. I want it to be funny because obviously
Speaker 1: that's not what's gonna happen. But I think I sometimes
Speaker 1: toe that line between, like people don't know what I'm about.
Speaker 1: They just introduced me and the biggest swifty out there
Speaker 1: in Hollywood, Nikki Glazer, and it's like there's again no
Speaker 1: fucking context for what I am. No one knows who
Speaker 1: I am. In that room. It was like, you know,
Speaker 1: it was I was just the girls sitting next to
Speaker 1: Zoe Desh now, and we'll talk about that later. But
Speaker 1: and then Noah's gonna tell us Herbert embarrassing sory after
Speaker 1: the break, right after this. All right, we're back, Noah,
Speaker 1: what happened to you this weekend? That was embarrassing? Okay,
Speaker 1: So a.
Speaker 2: Little bit similarly, I asked a bunch of celebrities that
Speaker 2: I'd blow them anyway.
Speaker 1: No, I didn't do that. It's actually a little bit,
Speaker 1: like way different than your story.
Speaker 3: So I went bra shopping for my wedding dress because
Speaker 3: I have, like all I have are like discounted of
Speaker 3: sports bras that are really big.
Speaker 1: And all that. So I'm like, okay, I need like
Speaker 1: a nice little, yes, nice bra.
Speaker 2: So where do I go? Wait?
Speaker 1: Is your wedding dress like a maternity wedding dress? Yes?
Speaker 1: They sell those.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's actually a lot of nice options. I went
Speaker 3: for like a form fitting one that's like sparkle all right, and.
Speaker 1: It's really v cut.
Speaker 3: So I'm like, you know what, I have these puppies,
Speaker 3: let me use them while I still got them. Yes,
Speaker 3: And I was like, who has the best push up
Speaker 3: braw that I know of, and it's Victoria's Secret. So
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'll go to Victoria's Secret. I'll get like
Speaker 3: a huge push up raw. I'll make them look like gazungasies.
Speaker 2: Are going to grow up one day to be dogs,
Speaker 2: and I'll love them if.
Speaker 3: They stick around. So anyway, so I go in and
Speaker 3: I have no idea what my new bra size is,
Speaker 3: so I'm just kind of like looking. I'm like shuffling
Speaker 3: through these like white push up lace bras and one
Speaker 3: of the girls that works there comes up to me
Speaker 3: and she's like, do you need help with anything? I said, yes,
Speaker 3: I don't know my bras eye, so I'm trying to
Speaker 3: figure it out. And she's like, oh, well, I can
Speaker 3: measure you. So she measures me, and then she's like,
Speaker 3: what are you go in your clothes on or in
Speaker 3: the in the dressing room with my I just had
Speaker 3: my my T shirt on and she just did it
Speaker 3: over the T shirt and she's like, why don't you
Speaker 3: go into the dressing room and I'll give you like
Speaker 3: the like the stock braws to try on, just so
Speaker 3: we can kind of see, you know, just like get
Speaker 3: you the side perfect fit.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, I bet your right now A thirty four
Speaker 1: triple D.
Speaker 3: Incorrect, Okay, go on, I'll reveal the bra says if people.
Speaker 1: Stick around the g I think, so I don't know. Okay,
Speaker 1: well then it's I'm not because I'm not the top.
Speaker 1: I'm not there right, trying to trick druple D right,
Speaker 1: Like it's like triple is the most so double D no, no, no,
Speaker 1: not that, okay, okay, go on.
Speaker 3: So anyway, so she sends me to the fitting room
Speaker 3: and she brings me like the trial bras or whatever,
Speaker 3: and I try them on and we find like a
Speaker 3: good fit, a good size, and then she's like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna bring you a bunch. I'm like, okay, I
Speaker 3: need white or beige, so just and and I really
Speaker 3: like a push up. So she brings me like two
Speaker 3: and she she's like okay, I heard Noah, Okay, Noah,
Speaker 3: I'm putting them on the door and I'm going to
Speaker 3: get you some more.
Speaker 1: I'm like okay. And I was like, did I give
Speaker 1: her my name? Yeah? It's like I don't think I
Speaker 1: give her my name. How does she know my name
Speaker 1: is Noah?
Speaker 3: So then I'm like, maybe she just said now. So
Speaker 3: then she she comes back with some more and she's
Speaker 3: like hey, I think she said hey now, but she goes, hey, noah,
Speaker 3: I have some.
Speaker 1: More, and I was like, hey, now doesn't even make sense.
Speaker 3: I know she's she's maybe like twenty one. There's no
Speaker 3: way she's like listening to Howard Stern or nose now
Speaker 3: that Gary Shandling show.
Speaker 1: Where it's h okay. So so I'm like, that is
Speaker 1: so weird. So anyway, so I opened the door and
Speaker 1: I show her my like the size. So she gave
Speaker 1: me a thirty four d Okay. The cup was good,
Speaker 1: but it was way too tight.
Speaker 3: Around my waist. I was like, this is like, you know,
Speaker 3: it's I think I might have to go up in size.
Speaker 3: So then she's like, okay, well we can give you
Speaker 3: your your sister's size. What And I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: how the fuck does she know that I have a sister?
Speaker 1: I love that you're like thinking that she actually knows
Speaker 1: these things, like cosmically, she just senses it as opposed
Speaker 1: to this is a different person.
Speaker 3: You are, this naked, pregnant lady just standing there. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm sorry, how did you know that
Speaker 3: I have a sister and what her bra size? Oh wow, wait,
Speaker 3: where can this be?
Speaker 1: So so she's look, she's looking at me and she's like,
Speaker 1: your your sister's size. And I'm like, I'm like, you'ster.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I am so like and you
Speaker 1: knew my name? I don't think I gave you my name?
Speaker 1: And she's like what she got so scared.
Speaker 3: She's like this beautiful, like young, she was like either
Speaker 3: Polynesian and like Hispanic and just like just like so
Speaker 3: delicate looking. And here she is like appalled by my
Speaker 3: questioning asking her how she knew my name and that
Speaker 3: I have a sister. She had no fucking idea what
Speaker 3: I was talking about, because apparently did you know that
Speaker 3: you know, there's like two versions of your brass eye?
Speaker 3: So my sister size is actually a thirty six C No, no.
Speaker 1: No, no, I don't like this. We don't speak your
Speaker 1: industry jargon. No one knows, no sister side, no Nikki.
Speaker 3: Because I was walking around, I had to go back
Speaker 3: into the fitting room and she said it to someone
Speaker 3: else and that that girl understood what she was saying.
Speaker 1: She was pretending to under.
Speaker 2: Size. And I know you from the podcast, so I
Speaker 2: know that you're not on camera that often. What do
Speaker 2: you know me?
Speaker 1: And she's like, no, I had no idea.
Speaker 2: It's an industris.
Speaker 1: She has no idea who I was. It was just
Speaker 1: the language.
Speaker 2: I know what she said now.
Speaker 1: I think she said no. Yeah. I was like, my
Speaker 1: name is Noah. How did you know that? And she
Speaker 1: was like what, I didn't know that. She's fucking scared.
Speaker 1: She knows, but no, what does your sister size mean?
Speaker 1: It means like another size you could be like, that
Speaker 1: doesn't make it sense.
Speaker 3: So basically, when you go up in your waist size,
Speaker 3: your cup size becomes one size in your.
Speaker 1: You're not waste like ribcage size. Yeah, yeah, like ribcage
Speaker 1: size exactly. Okay, so if you go from a thirty
Speaker 1: four to a thirty six, you're gonna go from like
Speaker 1: a D to a C.
Speaker 3: Right, So I sat it up at a thirty six C. Yes,
Speaker 3: I used to be either a thirty four A or
Speaker 3: a thirty two B. Oh my god, my sister size
Speaker 3: was the thirty two B.
Speaker 1: Got it? So you okay? So that was I was
Speaker 1: just I felt so stupid and I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, but it's kind of cute. But it's that's
Speaker 1: because she assumed that you knew her stupid Victoria's secret
Speaker 1: made up like branding jargon that makes that just tries
Speaker 1: to make what they do seem more like family friendly
Speaker 1: or something like that doesn't make any No, It's one
Speaker 1: of these things people do, like, you know, these people
Speaker 1: that just assume you are in their brain and have
Speaker 1: had all your experiences, like, oh my god, I have
Speaker 1: my icy T test this week and you go, I
Speaker 1: don't know what that. Why would you you know me?
Speaker 1: How would you do you think I know what an
Speaker 1: icy t? I'm not in your industry. I don't work
Speaker 1: in you know whatever, public school education. I don't know
Speaker 1: what that certification class is. Stop. Like I catch my
Speaker 1: friends doing it sometimes where I'm like, do you think she? Like?
Speaker 1: Cause I'll see someone say something that I know the
Speaker 1: other person doesn't know, and like who this weekend? There
Speaker 1: was someone that did it this weekend and oh they
Speaker 1: were talking about it was just like they were mentioning
Speaker 1: their husband. I think, like they were just saying and
Speaker 1: then we were at with witheted but it was like,
Speaker 1: I know, my mom doesn't know Avi's name or whatever,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, so it just or
Speaker 1: doesn't even know that this person's married. So like mine,
Speaker 1: I have to keep I have to keep injecting context
Speaker 1: constantly and go, that's her husband's name. That uh uh.
Speaker 1: Kirsten doesn't Kurston does a lot, but she's not. She's
Speaker 1: she does it innocently because she just doesn't. It's not
Speaker 1: the same thing. She's not like everyone should revolve around
Speaker 1: my life, but she's just like she'll talk about where
Speaker 1: she works. She'll be like, so, yeah, today, so I
Speaker 1: went to Hillside and I go, that's the gym she
Speaker 1: works out, like we people don't know these words, and
Speaker 1: sometimes I do it too, Like I did it on
Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars where I said I've had a
Speaker 1: lot of rough sets in my life and everyone thought
Speaker 1: I said sex because no one unless you're a comedian,
Speaker 1: you don't really talk about comedian set like people don't
Speaker 1: know what that means. And so I've done it too,
Speaker 1: where I just think everyone is like in my brain
Speaker 1: and knows my life. But sister size is not a thing.
Speaker 1: It's a thing that you educate someone.
Speaker 3: About, and I just want to know because I am
Speaker 3: so out of touch with like like I don't read
Speaker 3: teen Vogue Anymore or teen Beet or all those magazines.
Speaker 3: So all the girls who are in their twenties that
Speaker 3: listen to this show. Is it a thing or am?
Speaker 1: I think maybe it's like this gen Z thing like
Speaker 1: Riz or like no Cap, like you think it's just
Speaker 1: a slang that everyone knows. I don't think it is.
Speaker 2: Maybe.
Speaker 1: I mean, no, you didn't, and I wonder if Ali
Speaker 1: would know. We should check.
Speaker 2: But yeah, but I do know what sister size is.
Speaker 1: You did not know that? Are you serious?
Speaker 2: No? No?
Speaker 1: Okay, of course good.
Speaker 2: I was like, what it? You know?
Speaker 1: What's so annoying about bras? My one of my favorite bras?
Speaker 1: The bottom you know, it has two clasps on it
Speaker 1: and the bottom one like you know, just like the
Speaker 1: wire bent in the laundry or whatever, and so it's
Speaker 1: just straight now and now it only I can't wear it.
Speaker 1: I can't stand when a bra is just like, oh God,
Speaker 1: like cliffhanger, like what one little class like I needed
Speaker 1: to be solid across otherwise it feels like tight, and
Speaker 1: the other ones it's just like spilling out on the end.
Speaker 1: I don't like it, And so that bra is dead
Speaker 1: to be now, I bro like bras are just so
Speaker 1: confounding and every it's so funny that there's so many
Speaker 1: memes about them and all women relate except.
Speaker 2: The sin too hey to bras being. I mean, this
Speaker 2: is like every man growing up is their whole existence
Speaker 2: revolves around being able to reach around and unclassics such.
Speaker 1: A simple thing that you guys freak out about, but
Speaker 1: I get it, and it.
Speaker 2: Takes any time at all. It's like an emasculating embarrassment.
Speaker 1: Like putting con I was on a banana. Yes, you
Speaker 1: should have to take a braw off a pumpkin, you know,
Speaker 1: like we should have that because I just feel like,
Speaker 1: regardless of if it's important or not, there's just so
Speaker 1: much anxiety that goes along with sex stuff. And like
Speaker 1: the other like like I didn't know that Dix could
Speaker 1: like go all the way up. I just thought that
Speaker 1: they would like go parallel or you know, perpendicular to
Speaker 1: a man's body. And like I didn't know they could
Speaker 1: go up more or curve.
Speaker 2: Those are like wild. I mean I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I just thought it would be like bone and then
Speaker 1: it was just like straight. I did, like when it
Speaker 1: you can just move it everywhere.
Speaker 2: I don't know that you could push like there are
Speaker 2: some dicks erect they do do like an arch like
Speaker 2: the stock market going up.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's so true.
Speaker 2: Those are like pornographic. Those are like the big bat
Speaker 2: blacklight of a pictures.
Speaker 1: Plane taking off. Yeah, yeah, that's I didn't know. Well,
Speaker 1: now I know. I thought dicks because you just see
Speaker 1: guys going like, oh, I'm getting their your litter dicks hit.
Speaker 1: I thought it was the dick getting hit that hurt.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize it was the balls. So like when
Speaker 1: I was first handling a dick, I was so delicate,
Speaker 1: like I was handling artifact from a you know, archaeological
Speaker 1: dig I just didn't want to touch it in any way.
Speaker 1: And now I realize it's the balls that have the
Speaker 1: dick get hurt too, I'm sure, but not the way
Speaker 1: the balls I mean yeah, yeah, I didn't know that
Speaker 1: it was mostly a ball or like.
Speaker 2: A crowd at a celebrity crowd at the Grammys.
Speaker 1: Sensitive yeah, stuck up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's all the dick is stuck up. The balls
Speaker 2: are sensitive.
Speaker 1: Oh the balls yeah yeah yeah. Did you guys watch
Speaker 1: the Grammys?
Speaker 2: No, I meant to Billy Joel was there. M M,
Speaker 2: that's my man, yep, he was there.
Speaker 1: I was like trying trying to watch it, but because
Speaker 1: we were at a dinner and there's so much talking
Speaker 1: going on and socializing, it's like hard to watch and listen.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but I really wanted too because I I
Speaker 1: and you think you're gonna go back and watch, but
Speaker 1: you just don't. I don't care about Dua Lipa's performance
Speaker 1: after the fact, I just don't care. I want it.
Speaker 1: I want to watch it live. I I I missed
Speaker 1: it because we were late getting there and everyone was like, oh,
Speaker 1: she killed it, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll just
Speaker 1: watch that later. Have I watched it?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: It has it come across my feet a bunch? Yes?
Speaker 1: And did I watch it? I didn't. No, I don't
Speaker 1: have the time, but I have all the time. Miley
Speaker 1: Cyrus's performance. I keep seeing clips of that. Have you
Speaker 1: guys seen that?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I didn't want to. Her looks, her hair, Yeah, oh
Speaker 1: loved it. Yeah. She never pull it off, but she did.
Speaker 1: I mean you could because you just have to be
Speaker 1: rock and roll, like you just got to be so
Speaker 1: confident and that that girl can pull off anything. Also,
Speaker 1: she has zero percent body fat, so she can wear anything.
Speaker 1: She also somethings she's had an eye operation that I like.
Speaker 1: I think it looks good, but there's no question to
Speaker 1: me that something's taken place there, And I can't believe
Speaker 1: more people aren't talking about it. But I guess it's
Speaker 1: none of our business. But to me, anytime someone gets
Speaker 1: face work, we all talk about it. But this were not.
Speaker 1: But maybe as part of her look like she had
Speaker 1: this wone book like blown back hair, and so her
Speaker 1: eyes were supposed to look like whoa, like they'd been
Speaker 1: blown back as well. Maybe that was it, but I
Speaker 1: can't imagine.
Speaker 2: Sounds crazy.
Speaker 1: No, no one's talking about it, Like I keep reading.
Speaker 1: This is when I whenever I suspect someone had face work,
Speaker 1: I just start to read the comments to go like,
Speaker 1: who's gonna confirm it for me? Who else is seeing
Speaker 1: what I'm seeing? No one's talking about it. Maybe she didn't.
Speaker 1: As someone who tends to look at these kind of things,
Speaker 1: I think an operation happened, which you know, no shade
Speaker 1: because I'll do the same thing. But I liked. I
Speaker 1: liked that she was like so excited that she won
Speaker 1: a Grammy. I thought that was really cool that she
Speaker 1: wasn't scared to just be like, I just won my
Speaker 1: first Grammy, but I would I would have thought she
Speaker 1: won more had she not say said that. Like I
Speaker 1: was kind of like, that's she's only one one. I
Speaker 1: was kind of like just yeah, I'd like how.
Speaker 3: You make it.
Speaker 1: But I liked that she said that because it it
Speaker 1: showed that she's not yeah, that she's she isn't just
Speaker 1: too cool for school, like it actually excites her and
Speaker 1: she's before kind of come across like she's too cool
Speaker 1: for school.
Speaker 2: She did, I just won my third Grammy And then
Speaker 2: like an announcer had to be like that was her
Speaker 2: first Grammy.
Speaker 1: No, they wouldn't. People would just go, I guess that's correct, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: Just make it that way on stage as a Grammy winner.
Speaker 2: You should have said that it's Stephen Tyler's thing.
Speaker 1: No one would question it.
Speaker 2: They'd go to one Grammy for comedy.
Speaker 1: Yeah of course, yeah I could. I could uh egg
Speaker 1: out of all the like the closest I could get
Speaker 1: to getting an egot is egg in what for?
Speaker 4: What I do?
Speaker 1: I think? But yeah, so she but I will say this.
Speaker 1: I liked what she she gave like a speech when
Speaker 1: she got one of her things and I kind of
Speaker 1: overheard it because it's coming back from the bathroom because
Speaker 1: I had to keep going to the bathroom because I
Speaker 1: forgot to wear fucking deodorant, and I started smelling so bad,
Speaker 1: and I like, I was just sitting at the table
Speaker 1: like this, like looking looking really awkward, nervous, couldn't lift
Speaker 1: up my arms because I was just so scared someone
Speaker 1: would smell it. I want to tell you something, Nikki.
Speaker 3: We had a parallel because I forgot to wear a
Speaker 3: deodorant when I went bra shopping, which was like another reason.
Speaker 1: Why I was dunk up those stock bra. I was like,
Speaker 1: please don't make me put my arms too high, sister sink.
Speaker 1: I found the best way to combat body odor is
Speaker 1: to say you have it. When you're around people, Just
Speaker 1: say I forgot deodorant. I know I might stink, and
Speaker 1: anything that they could think about you is out the
Speaker 1: window because you've already called it out.
Speaker 2: So just say it to people, but make people aware
Speaker 2: who weren't aware, but.
Speaker 1: At least you've called it out. The worst thing is
Speaker 1: to have someone smell it and think that you don't know.
Speaker 1: I think that's the worst thing. Like I could smell someone,
Speaker 1: but if if I know they know, then I'm like,
Speaker 1: and they're like, you know, they're nervous about it. They're
Speaker 1: not like, yeah, no.
Speaker 2: Stink weakness, that's cool in there, Like I stink and.
Speaker 1: I but I wasn't. Yeah, I wasn't good enough. I
Speaker 1: wasn't friends enough enough, like Zoey Deschanel and her boyfriend
Speaker 1: Jonathan Scott from Property Brothers. We were sitting right next
Speaker 1: to them at the table, and and I wasn't We
Speaker 1: were good enough friends at the end of the night. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But at the when I first started smelling myself, I
Speaker 1: was like, I can't tell them. I wanted to, but
Speaker 1: I couldn't.
Speaker 2: Before you leave, you go up the Zoe dish and
Speaker 2: I go by the way. I know, I stank all
Speaker 2: night and night.
Speaker 1: Really, if you see me in the picture with them, like,
Speaker 1: I'm scared to like put my arm around them because
Speaker 1: I was so stinky. So I kept going to the
Speaker 1: bathroom to wet down cloths, and my dress was so
Speaker 1: tight I had to go through I couldn't go up
Speaker 1: through the bottom because I couldn't reach the zipper behind,
Speaker 1: so I had to go through my neck and go
Speaker 1: in and wipe it. And I you know, wet a cloth,
Speaker 1: I put soap on it, wet it. Then I do
Speaker 1: another wet cloth and I dry it off. So I
Speaker 1: kept going to the bathroom to take care of that.
Speaker 1: And I was wearing this thong skims, so it was
Speaker 1: like a skims that like sucks you in. It really
Speaker 1: looks like a risk cough, like when you first put
Speaker 1: it on and it's it's so tiny, barely goes over
Speaker 1: your angle. Then you put it on, it sucks you in,
Speaker 1: but it slowly rides up through the night and it
Speaker 1: is splitting you. It's cleaving you in two because it's
Speaker 1: a song, so it's just slicing you up. And so
Speaker 1: then it was like severe advanced you know, almost like
Speaker 1: infectionary camel tooe happening where it was just like it
Speaker 1: hurts so bad. It hurts so bad when you have
Speaker 1: this rubber band slicing you up the front of your crotch.
Speaker 1: It was so painful. So I had to keep kept
Speaker 1: going to the bathroom to pull that out.
Speaker 2: And but what was it.
Speaker 1: Oh, so when I was going to the bathroom, I
Speaker 1: heard one of her speeches which was like I just
Speaker 1: want to say, this does not change anything for me.
Speaker 1: This doesn't really matter. I'm the same person that I
Speaker 1: was went out Wow God this morning and it I
Speaker 1: liked some of that of like, this isn't gonna change
Speaker 1: my life. So she had both of it going like
Speaker 1: she was very excited about it, but she was also like,
Speaker 1: don't think that this makes any me any different. And
Speaker 1: then I also love that during when she was singing
Speaker 1: I Can buy Myself Flowers, she you could tell that
Speaker 1: she noticed the crowd was being too cool for school
Speaker 1: and probably only Taylor Swift was like up dancing singing
Speaker 1: along because that's how she does at award shows because
Speaker 1: she has fun. But you could tell Miley was like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck, No one's singing along? And you see
Speaker 1: at one point she goes, oh, don't even act like
Speaker 1: you don't know what this song is, and she was like,
Speaker 1: she like calls them out, and she like fucked up
Speaker 1: a lyric to be able to say that to them.
Speaker 1: I really liked that her calling them out.
Speaker 2: She's that's the equipment to Ricky Gervais saying like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm sure you're so offended that I made fun of
Speaker 2: j Loo, Like when you do that, you're you're just
Speaker 2: showing them you just have to tell them how you're
Speaker 2: supposed to how they're supposed to respond to you.
Speaker 1: You're right, I was like towing that line of like
Speaker 1: wanting them to like me but also telling the truth.
Speaker 1: And you have to go all in and go, oh, really,
Speaker 1: are you so sad that I said, well, who here
Speaker 1: saw this video? Tell me one thing that happened in
Speaker 1: that music video? Can one person raise their hand and
Speaker 1: tell me one thing that happened in the video that
Speaker 1: would have been a great thing to do. You're right, Okay, I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna start seem like to upset. You can't seem you
Speaker 2: can't see like joy.
Speaker 1: You can't start That's how I felt. But you can't
Speaker 1: say that, Yeah, you can't get too emotional.
Speaker 2: Fine joke jab, I'm sure you all saw the video.
Speaker 2: Sure you all have a video on repeat on your man.
Speaker 2: I'm sure it's your your iPhone wallpaper? Is this picture
Speaker 2: of j Loo with her rigs?
Speaker 1: That's what whenever I do a joke about a burn
Speaker 1: victim or a burn survivor and my set not a
Speaker 1: joke about them, but I reference what a burn survivor
Speaker 1: looks like, and people go oh, and I go, what
Speaker 1: do you do? You think they look different? Am I Like,
Speaker 1: I'm just describing what they look like. I'm not being mean.
Speaker 1: It literally is just a description. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: convey what I notice. And people just get so go
Speaker 1: oh and I go oh, I get so mad. I go, really,
Speaker 1: I go, have you ever staying a burn survivor? Their
Speaker 1: faces looked aft, like I freak out because they just
Speaker 1: this whole thing of like I am offended. Why I
Speaker 1: didn't say they deserved it. I didn't say I hate
Speaker 1: them and think they should. You know, I was almost
Speaker 1: gonna say, be burned alive, but that already happened. I was,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just a fucking truth.
Speaker 2: But was it that said like this story where someone
Speaker 2: goes that that person is this you, that there's a
Speaker 2: person in a wheelchair, and then they go, oh my god,
Speaker 2: and that's you. That's and then yes, and then you go,
Speaker 2: he knows is that you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he knows.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 1: Yes. Thanks. Well. One time I literally I saw a
Speaker 1: burn survivor and a car next to me, like we
Speaker 1: were at a stoplight, and I like just looked over
Speaker 1: and I shrieked in horror, not on purpose, instinctually because
Speaker 1: there was a severely disfigured person that looked like a
Speaker 1: Halloween mass that looked frightening, because a burnt face should
Speaker 1: look frightening. You should try to This is survival you
Speaker 1: should try to have if you see things that look
Speaker 1: frightening or that could cause damage to like it's that,
Speaker 1: you know it. There's a reason I didn't like. I
Speaker 1: felt so bad, so bad, but I just can't help
Speaker 1: the way I react.
Speaker 2: You know, it's a natural reaction. It's hard to not
Speaker 2: react that way. The person who is burned is not dangerous.
Speaker 2: I don't know if like the evolutionary standpoint, but maybe
Speaker 2: in terms of like reproducing with them or something, but
Speaker 2: it is, Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's probably it. But they wouldn't have survived in back
Speaker 1: in the day and came in days you would never
Speaker 1: see a burn victim.
Speaker 2: It's tough to put yourself in their position and then
Speaker 2: just be thoughtful. Every every five minutes someone is shrieking
Speaker 2: in horror.
Speaker 3: You no, I know, you would also hope that the
Speaker 3: care that they receive a part of it is, you know,
Speaker 3: like learning to deal with people's reactions and how to
Speaker 3: not take it so personally.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's tough.
Speaker 1: It was. It was I felt. I felt horrible, but
Speaker 1: I also I couldn't blame myself. It's not like I
Speaker 1: wanted to have that reaction and now, and I think
Speaker 1: that it did. There was a lesson learned there where,
Speaker 1: Like I think after that moment, my brain was like,
Speaker 1: you don't get to react as soon as you want
Speaker 1: to on things when you're scared anymore, Like have a
Speaker 1: there's gotta be a little bit of a delay or something.
Speaker 1: I had to. I think that I adjusted my timing
Speaker 1: in my body because I felt so bad about that.
Speaker 1: But yeah, they must, they deal with that all the time.
Speaker 1: I mean, but to act like you don't, act like
Speaker 1: there's not a difference between their face and ours is
Speaker 1: an insane thing. And to not acknowledge it, that's where
Speaker 1: I just go like, oh really, Oh you don't see it? Cool?
Speaker 1: All right, we gotta go to a break. We'll talk. Brian,
Speaker 1: you got to come up with an embarrassing story for us.
Speaker 2: Did that it happened this weekend?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta have one. We'll see if you hate
Speaker 1: drums one up after this. So the Grammy party was
Speaker 1: super fun and it was worth the thousands of dollars
Speaker 1: I spent to do it for sure, because even though
Speaker 1: I don't know that I really helped this organization, when
Speaker 1: you meet Tyler, and I didn't want to bother him
Speaker 1: because he I know, the even reason I was there
Speaker 1: was because of doctors. I tells my surgeon who did
Speaker 1: my vocal cord surgery, he did Steven Tyler's vocal cords,
Speaker 1: and I think he told Stephen about me, and then
Speaker 1: Stephen booked me on an event last year in Vegas,
Speaker 1: and Stephen wasn't able to make it to that event,
Speaker 1: but then this year I got invited to this anyway,
Speaker 1: so I'm I'm on a list, and Steven's voice is
Speaker 1: really fucked right now, and he was like I shouldn't
Speaker 1: even be talking like when he was like presenting stuff
Speaker 1: like he was like I should My doctor says I
Speaker 1: shouldn't even be doing this, and so I Chris was like,
Speaker 1: you should go say hi, and I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't want to take any of that man's vocal
Speaker 1: cord energy. So I didn't meet him. But he was
Speaker 1: really funny and cool and looks amazing and played the
Speaker 1: drums and stuff and that was cool, but so A
Speaker 1: Deschanel was at my table and her boyfriend, and we
Speaker 1: became pretty great friends with them by then the night,
Speaker 1: I will say she asked for my number at the
Speaker 1: end of the night like that because I'm never gonna
Speaker 1: ask for her number even though I wanted it, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to stay in touch with it.
Speaker 1: She invited me to her birthday party, like she is
Speaker 1: so nice. We got along right away. She knew she
Speaker 1: already knew who I was, so that was nice. But
Speaker 1: she also she hosted the event and she was so funny.
Speaker 1: I was so impressed and so we it was it
Speaker 1: was just a nice way to bond over that where
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is a hell gig and you just
Speaker 1: killed it. And so we got along. And then I
Speaker 1: asked them how they met, because they're just like such
Speaker 1: a funny couple pairing. Everyone's like Zoe Desnel and the
Speaker 1: Property Brother, and it was really cool to hear how
Speaker 1: they met. They met on carpool karaoke. They were both
Speaker 1: doing carpoo karaoke and he's just so funny and so
Speaker 1: nice and so cool. And even Chris was like I
Speaker 1: remember just being real suspicious of that relationship of like
Speaker 1: why are they together? This seems so weird, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I could not support it anymore. He was like, I
Speaker 1: want to do a press tour about them and how
Speaker 1: cool they are and how much they belong together and
Speaker 1: how sweet they are, And it was just they were
Speaker 1: just so funny and so nice and just so personable.
Speaker 1: And you know, I don't like to bug celebrities, Like
Speaker 1: if they would have just wanted to stay and talk
Speaker 1: to themselves, I wouldn't have even noticed or cared. I
Speaker 1: would have been like, that's yeah, of course, Like they don't,
Speaker 1: but they went out of their way to include us
Speaker 1: in the conversation and just so nice. And Tiffany Hattters
Speaker 1: was at my table, and my friend Chris Porter, Dean
Speaker 1: del Rey, Greg Fitzimmons was there, Bob a Booie was there,
Speaker 1: Sammy Hagar Frasier was sitting right behind me. Who else?
Speaker 1: Bill Burr showed up and donated a bunch of money
Speaker 1: for just you know, at the start of the auction,
Speaker 1: before they did the items, they were just like, who's
Speaker 1: here to give one hundred thousand dollars? Who's ready to
Speaker 1: do that? And then people were just like just donating
Speaker 1: money without any incentive. They were like giving them a
Speaker 1: scarf that Stephen signed. But Bill Burr was one of
Speaker 1: the people that donated a big sum of money, which
Speaker 1: was really cool. And I was like, man, I can't
Speaker 1: wait to get to that point where I'm just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: ten grand, like let's do it. Just raise my hand
Speaker 1: casually while I'm in the middle of a conversation. He
Speaker 1: looked so cool and I'm trying to think of anyone else. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was it was fun. And oh and Bobby Burke
Speaker 1: from Queer Eye. I met him a while ago at
Speaker 1: my one of my friends, my friend who was my
Speaker 1: vocal coach for Dancing with the Star or sorry mass Singer.
Speaker 1: I became really good friends with her, Amy Chapman. She
Speaker 1: invited me to this like dinner that she was making
Speaker 1: one night, and Bobby Burke from Queerye was there. And
Speaker 1: I don't really watch Queer Eye, so I wasn't that intimidated,
Speaker 1: but I've come to find out it's like he's very,
Speaker 1: very famous and so talented and so cool. And so
Speaker 1: he was there again, so I got to see him again,
Speaker 1: which is always nice, and we hit it off again
Speaker 1: and that was fun. Yeah, it's just it's fun to
Speaker 1: it was a good night. It was Yeah, I was good.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It went It started at like three p thirty, but
Speaker 1: I probably got there at five and it went until
Speaker 1: we left it like eleven thirty.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: And then we went home and finished Killers of the
Speaker 1: Flower Moon, which I did have to chop into two nights.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to watch all the Best Picture nominees. Have
Speaker 1: you watched Killers of the Flower Moon?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I saw it in theaters.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, final thought, how did you get through
Speaker 1: that in one sitting? Did you go to the bathroom?
Speaker 1: Did you miss the scene?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: What did you do?
Speaker 2: Complete cookie one? Complete cookie.
Speaker 1: On? Did you go You didn't go to the bathroom
Speaker 1: at all?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, wow, because I would have. I would have been like,
Speaker 1: can anyone pause it? Like I feel like with movies now,
Speaker 1: I just I can't go to movie theaters because I
Speaker 1: want to pause and rewind because I miss something because
Speaker 1: I was you know, like, yeah, you miss things. Now
Speaker 1: when you watch things at home and you stream them,
Speaker 1: you can really absorb the whole thing. So Killers of
Speaker 1: the Flower Moon so long? Three hours and forty seven minutes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can I just say no, no? You did?
Speaker 2: Really? I like when a movie well because think about it,
Speaker 2: most most isn't it days we're watching series and like
Speaker 2: a series is like ten episodes and it's like ten hours,
Speaker 2: and you get spending that much time with those characters.
Speaker 1: I get breaks.
Speaker 2: I appreciate the breaks, but I'm talking about like just
Speaker 2: sometimes I watch a movie that's an hour and a
Speaker 2: half and I'm like, I would have loved to have
Speaker 2: seen those characters for like five six more hours.
Speaker 1: Totally. Yeah, you know what, I will say that it
Speaker 1: is too long, but I loved being able to chop
Speaker 1: it up like like an episodic thing. So Chris and
Speaker 1: I watched it over two nights, and it was nice
Speaker 1: because I watched the first half and then I got
Speaker 1: to think about it and go, like, what is going
Speaker 1: to happen with this? Who did kill Anna? What is
Speaker 1: you know? Is Hal responsible for all? Like all that
Speaker 1: I was starting to it was rumor. I was able
Speaker 1: to ruminate on it. It was much like when you're
Speaker 1: watching a series, and then yeah, I was so excited
Speaker 1: to get home to finish it, to find out what happened.
Speaker 1: And then I was sad when it was over because
Speaker 1: it did feel like a TV show that ended too soon.
Speaker 1: But yeah, you got to chop that.
Speaker 2: Movie up on HBO Max or on Max where you
Speaker 2: can turn a movie into a series.
Speaker 1: That's a good idea.
Speaker 2: He'll chop it up for you.
Speaker 1: Leo was amazing. He is the best actor ever. His
Speaker 1: face was in a permanent perma scowl. The entire thing.
Speaker 2: You had, the old, the old, the face that all
Speaker 2: people from the eighteen hundreds had all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he had this, like Grimace, the entire thing that
Speaker 1: definitely is not natural for his face to look like that. Yes, perfect, Brian,
Speaker 1: that's it. Yeah, the whole thing. And even when he smiles,
Speaker 1: he has it. And it was so Its just I
Speaker 1: felt bad for him because I was like, that's gonna
Speaker 1: wrinkle his skin so badly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but what does he care.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: He's going to look better if he gets wrinkled. He's
Speaker 2: got transition into his old man face. Now, yeah, you're
Speaker 2: going to start the transition to where he's starting to
Speaker 2: play characters who are these grizzled like he still has
Speaker 2: a few like baby face features that he needs to
Speaker 2: destroy at this point.
Speaker 1: This movie did it. Yeah, his face contorting it in
Speaker 1: that way. He just looks like he's in pain. The
Speaker 1: entire the entire movie. But he's so man. I just
Speaker 1: saw a recent clip from Eating Gilbert Grape, What's Eating
Speaker 1: Gilbert Grape. It was the scene where he discovers his
Speaker 1: mom's dead and he's like, you know, dude, I can't
Speaker 1: believe how good he is. I'm watching that. I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is a child, and he seems so like mentally handicapped,
Speaker 1: like without question, he's making these little movements of his
Speaker 1: face and little decisions and apparently in that scene they
Speaker 1: just let him go and do what he wanted and
Speaker 1: it wasn't really scripted, and it was I just was
Speaker 1: reminded of what an incredible talent he is, like just superhuman,
Speaker 1: almost able to embody someone else.
Speaker 2: But I agreed day Lewis, which I'm so sad that
Speaker 2: he retired. But everything, every single thing that he did,
Speaker 2: I was just like, he elevates the movie, elevates the script.
Speaker 2: It's amazing.
Speaker 1: DeNiro was great. Martin Swors he was so distracting at
Speaker 1: the very end of the film.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was weird.
Speaker 1: I really disliked that. I get it that you want
Speaker 1: to hitchcock, have your hitchcock.
Speaker 2: Mo.
Speaker 1: Does he do this in every movie? Because I don't
Speaker 1: remember him in other films that I've seen. Has he
Speaker 1: inserted himself in every movie he does?
Speaker 2: He's been in movies before, but I don't know every movie.
Speaker 1: I love him. I loved him in Pretend It's the
Speaker 1: City or whatever he did with fran Leebowitz. I just
Speaker 1: love him. I'll watch him all day. But I did
Speaker 1: not like he needs to play a character that doesn't
Speaker 1: have an important role. So he comes into the end
Speaker 1: at him in a moment where you're like kind of learning.
Speaker 1: It's almost like the epilogue to the film is the
Speaker 1: last scene, and you're learning what becomes of all these people,
Speaker 1: and he has this monologue in which you really feel
Speaker 1: you it wraps it all up. And I realized halfway
Speaker 1: through I haven't heard anything he said, because I am
Speaker 1: so like, oh my god, that's the director. But I
Speaker 1: wonder how he directed himself. I wonder how I'm just like, ah,
Speaker 1: he looks like this, Oh he's actually a good actor,
Speaker 1: and like, my stupid you know girl mind is just
Speaker 1: going berserk about all the different things. And then I
Speaker 1: don't even realize that there's some really good you know,
Speaker 1: uh what's the word called uh? When they when they
Speaker 1: describe what's happening.
Speaker 2: What's it called narration?
Speaker 1: No, it's a word that that people will say, Yes,
Speaker 1: there's an amazing exposition happening right here. And I've lost
Speaker 1: it all because I'm so distracted by him. But I
Speaker 1: just kind of like it. I still liked it. I
Speaker 1: was a little dazzled. It was a little tricky. You
Speaker 1: just go, oh my god, that's Marty. Yeah, and I've
Speaker 1: been watching I watched Maestro last night. Have you seen Maestro?
Speaker 2: No, But I do want to say I looked it up.
Speaker 2: There's Martin Scorsese has a cameo on almost every movie
Speaker 2: that he really Sometimes it's audio only, like in The
Speaker 2: Wolf of Wall Street he was he was just audio only. Okay, Hugo,
Speaker 2: remember Hugo, the twenty eleven hit. He was just like
Speaker 2: a photographer. He took a photo.
Speaker 1: I think it's fun to the little Easter eggs. But
Speaker 1: that was just don't play a pivotal part like that.
Speaker 1: Because I was too distracted, I missed out on stuff.
Speaker 1: I will say that the actress in it was so
Speaker 1: beautiful and good and perfect for the role. But that
Speaker 1: is a role I would like to play. Do you
Speaker 1: know why the whole movie. You just look sad and sick.
Speaker 1: There's no other emotions going on. It's just always like
Speaker 1: and then there's sometimes perfect Nikki you got and then
Speaker 1: sometimes she's like it was amazing but not. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying anything bad about her performance because she nailed what
Speaker 1: the character required. But if we're talking oscar worthy, there
Speaker 1: were not every role is oscar worthy, no matter how
Speaker 1: well you act it. Do you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So there were like Wonka's probably not oscar worthy, even
Speaker 2: though Timothy it could be.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about like there was just wasn't a lot
Speaker 1: of different emotion worthy just say because well there I
Speaker 1: don't know because I didn't. There wasn't like a I
Speaker 1: guess for a character that I deem as an oscar
Speaker 1: worthy character. You there's like Peaks and Valley.
Speaker 2: Like a rangement.
Speaker 1: Yes, And like when I said, when I think about
Speaker 1: it again, yes I do. I think she was incredible
Speaker 1: and like the actual interesting thing about her performance was
Speaker 1: she didn't have to say much to know exactly what
Speaker 1: she was thinking.
Speaker 2: That's really obviously scene where and Lily Gladstone are having
Speaker 2: their first lunch and then there's flirting sort of flirting
Speaker 2: in like an eight imagine what it would be like.
Speaker 1: What about their last lunch? Oh that was a good
Speaker 1: one too, And and I mean, and she plays sick
Speaker 1: really well. I mean it was just I really I
Speaker 1: want to get I want to get a roll like
Speaker 1: that that requires me to just look depressed the whole time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and like and wrap myself in really gorgeous blankets.
Speaker 2: Like Dallas Buyers Club or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, I don't remember, but you know,
Speaker 1: but she she wasn't. I mean, that movie was amazing.
Speaker 1: There was just too there was a little bit too
Speaker 1: much of violence, but that's Scorsese. And like as we
Speaker 1: began the show, like someone gets their head shot off
Speaker 1: and I go, and Chris was like, this is gonna
Speaker 1: be the whole thing, and I was like, I know,
Speaker 1: but I gotta see it because I'm challenging myself to
Speaker 1: watch them all. So I'm glad I got through it.
Speaker 1: It was really good. Maestro also really good, really well acted.
Speaker 1: And he directed it to and wrote it Bradley Cooper.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 1: I mean, he like, this is this is what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about an Oscar performance.
Speaker 2: Like I do.
Speaker 1: I think the movie was the best I think The
Speaker 1: Killers of the Flower Moon was a better movie. I
Speaker 1: think that Lily got lad Zone it might be a
Speaker 1: better actress than he is. But he gave himself a
Speaker 1: character that has a lot to do.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: He's conducting and he's playing piano, and he's crying, and
Speaker 1: he's you know, he's thriving, he's doing coke off something.
Speaker 1: He's gay, he's straight, he's you know, there's just a
Speaker 1: lot of dynamics, which I guess, you know, who what
Speaker 1: do I I don't know anything, but I thought it
Speaker 1: was really really good, but a little bit I don't
Speaker 1: know what I was supposed to get out of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: these movies, I just go what what I get? What
Speaker 1: I learned from Killers of the Thought Moon. It taught
Speaker 1: me some history. It taught me. What did it teach me?
Speaker 1: It taught me, Yeah, it just taught me history. It
Speaker 1: taught me how we treated it Native Americans.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it taught me contextualize the plight of Native Americans.
Speaker 2: And it's something that is still we should still be
Speaker 2: aware of in America today. Like they still have their
Speaker 2: reservation in Oklahoma and they're large, they own a large
Speaker 2: chunk land in America. They're like a sovereign nation in America,
Speaker 2: and like, I didn't even know they existed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I didn't know. That's how the FBI started.
Speaker 1: I thought that was kind of cool. And living in
Speaker 1: the twenties, it's terrifying. You do whatever you want be
Speaker 1: murdered all the time.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you can do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: No one gave a fuck.
Speaker 2: There's that John mulaney joke where it's like they didn't
Speaker 2: have DNA, so a detective goes into a murder scene.
Speaker 2: There's a pile of blood on the ground and he's
Speaker 2: just like, blood, Oh, mop it up.
Speaker 1: Yeah. It was scary to watch, just thinking about how scary. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's that's it's a true story, right, Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's one's worth seeing. And Maestro is also worth seeing.
Speaker 1: I'm going to see Poor Things tonight with my mom.
Speaker 1: I saw Past Lives, I've seen Barbie, I've seen Open Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2: I'm worried about Poor Things. I feel like it's gonna
Speaker 2: be up to Artsy. I'm worried I'm gonna despise Poor Things,
Speaker 2: but I have to see it still.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm worried.
Speaker 2: It's one of those movies where they're like they're trying
Speaker 2: to like force you to They're trying to they're daring
Speaker 2: you to like it, so that it's like fine art
Speaker 2: where you're like, oh, I guess you just don't understand.
Speaker 2: What did you like?
Speaker 1: Everything all at once or whatever that movie was. I
Speaker 1: didn't see it, but I think that was that to me,
Speaker 1: that that description of like, oh weird, I dare you
Speaker 1: to like this.
Speaker 2: In description, the description of that movie feels that way.
Speaker 2: But the movie itself is much more like pop culture
Speaker 2: and mainstream than you would think. But I didn't like
Speaker 2: it as much as everyone. Everyone went crazy for that
Speaker 2: movie and I it won, right, it won Best Picture,
Speaker 2: And I thought it was a good movie. I really
Speaker 2: enjoyed it, but I didn't think it was like a
Speaker 2: mind blowing like I thought The Matrix was more mind
Speaker 2: blowing in terms of how it like distorted your view
Speaker 2: of the universe than everything all at once. I'm just
Speaker 2: kind of also sick of the multiverse because of Marvel,
Speaker 2: like and I just hate the concept of the multiverse,
Speaker 2: whether it's true or not.
Speaker 4: I just don't like this multiverse. There's other dimension, there's
Speaker 4: an infinite number of dimensions, so that so every single
Speaker 4: possibility that still happening. Sort of like that, but it's
Speaker 4: like every single thing that could possibly be happening is
Speaker 4: concurrently happening and so and this is back backed by
Speaker 4: theories and physics that have been tested, and it could
Speaker 4: actually be true. But when it comes to movies like
Speaker 4: Marvel and everything all at once, this is definitely extrapolating
Speaker 4: on the theories and taking artistic license. But I hate
Speaker 4: it because the purpose of movie is to tell a story,
Speaker 4: and when you introduce the multiverse as a concept, you
Speaker 4: are eliminating the stakes of any story by saying, well,
Speaker 4: every single outcome in this story is happening, so it
Speaker 4: doesn't really matter what happens to these characters. It doesn't
Speaker 4: really matter what happens in this story because nothing matters
Speaker 4: because everything is happening all at once. And I guess
Speaker 4: the point of the movie is that it tries to
Speaker 4: find meaning even in that. But me personally, I'd rather
Speaker 4: there be no multiverse in art at all, because I
Speaker 4: think it completely devalues the purpose of art, which is
Speaker 4: to say that take a meaningless universe and say this matters.
Speaker 2: And here's why.
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, I hear that, I like the idea though
Speaker 1: that nothing matters because it's I think that's an interesting
Speaker 1: point as well. I got to see everything everything you
Speaker 1: ant man, how is it? How does Marvel talk about
Speaker 1: this stuff? We're too late in the show to get
Speaker 1: into this. But like Marvel and everything all at once?
Speaker 1: Is those are similar.
Speaker 2: Their lengths, Yeah, because they both they're both premised on
Speaker 2: the theory of the multiverse.
Speaker 1: I've seen Action Hero movies and I don't think that
Speaker 1: I get bogged down by the fact that there's other
Speaker 1: realms where this is not happening, or it's happening in
Speaker 1: a different way. I don't feel like.
Speaker 2: The only movie like that that I've really thoroughly enjoyed
Speaker 2: was Into the Spider Verse because it was hilarious and
Speaker 2: someone on Yeah, there was only like five Spider Man's.
Speaker 1: Love on the spectrum. They liked that, and they kept saying,
Speaker 1: Spider Man into the Spider Verse. Yes, I've seen in
Speaker 1: Spider Man into the Spider Verse. Did you like Spider
Speaker 1: Man into the Spider Verse? Yes, I love Spider Man
Speaker 1: into the Spider Firn. They can say the whole thing,
Speaker 1: because I guess.
Speaker 4: You have to.
Speaker 2: It's one of the best animated films of all time. Okay,
Speaker 2: for sure, all.
Speaker 1: Right, good to know. Well, i'll see poor things. I'll
Speaker 1: give my report tomorrow or I mean next week. We're
Speaker 1: going to the super Bowl this weekend. Yeah, starting uh.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you'll be able to give you
Speaker 3: because our episodes are airing next week.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, so far.
Speaker 2: We should talk about our expectations about the super Bowl.
Speaker 1: Well, no, that's today's that's today's show. Real quick, what
Speaker 1: are your expectation expects? And thirty seconds or less?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, thirty seconds or less. Well, I hope.
Speaker 2: I hope we get some good guests, and I hope
Speaker 2: that these guests get what I hope if we get
Speaker 2: Zire Franklin to be one of our guests. I have
Speaker 2: a Zire Franklin jersey and I wanted to sign it,
Speaker 2: and I'll wear it. I'll wear it on the show.
Speaker 1: I'm exciting to listen to.
Speaker 2: I'm rooting for the forty nine ers because I'm anti Dynasty.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, the Chiefs won last year. Although if the
Speaker 2: Chiefs win the Super Bowl this year, I do win
Speaker 2: five hundred dollars from one of a bet I made preseason.
Speaker 1: Should definitely want that done.
Speaker 2: But I just like the Chiefs are like the evil Empire.
Speaker 2: Now they win all the time.
Speaker 1: Is there any part of you, Brian that's like someone
Speaker 1: was talking this weekend about how they don't want to
Speaker 1: They had a chance to go to the game, but
Speaker 1: they're Chiefs fans, and so they didn't want to go
Speaker 1: because they can't watch the game as easily when you're
Speaker 1: at the stadium as opposed to on TV, you can
Speaker 1: get up close and like you actually watch the game.
Speaker 1: Is there a part of you that's kind of like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be able to really watch it.
Speaker 2: No, because the Super Bowl in particular is always you
Speaker 2: can't watch it if you have a Super Bowl party.
Speaker 2: I think watching the Super Bowl is one of the
Speaker 2: worst game experiences of all time because you're at a party,
Speaker 2: you're eating chips, you're talking to people, and no one's
Speaker 2: actually paying attention to the game. I'd rather be sitting
Speaker 2: there on the couch and watching the game in silence alone.
Speaker 1: Why don't you do that then most times.
Speaker 2: Because you participate in society.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they do that too. Okay, my expectations are, will
Speaker 1: Ali bring me like a football thing to wear? Because
Speaker 1: I did not order anything in time? Does she have
Speaker 1: any kind of.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course she has something. Rad Is. It's going
Speaker 2: to be bears though we don't have chief stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh god, will I be able to buy a chief thing?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: In town?
Speaker 3: We could probably get you something. You're you're at an
Speaker 3: NFL booth. I'm sure that someone can give you something.
Speaker 2: You have ample opportunity to purchase an infinite what I'm
Speaker 2: worried about everything? Okay, take it to this a Super
Speaker 2: Bowl game experience just happening at the hotel where we
Speaker 2: can try to kick a field goal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's when you asked me about that. I'm like,
Speaker 1: am I gonna have to like throw things and catch
Speaker 1: them and.
Speaker 2: A lot of stuff. There's a lot of stuff. It's
Speaker 2: probably gonna be pretty crowded.
Speaker 1: Okay, wow, well, well you'll hear us from the super
Speaker 1: Bowl next week. Those episodes will air. I'm very excited
Speaker 1: about it. And yeah, do you guys go on Instagram
Speaker 1: live if you can over the weekend? Oh? Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be Instagram and all sorts.
Speaker 1: Of ship Okaylazer Pod.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you make it. You do a
Speaker 2: lot of stories on Instagram, and I'm kind of like,
Speaker 2: I think I should start doing more stories just to remind,
Speaker 2: because you know, I post a video every like two
Speaker 2: or three weeks, and then people forget that they're following me,
Speaker 2: and then posting the stories in between makes people like,
Speaker 2: oh I remember that main feed.
Speaker 1: No one, I'm not even about main feeds anymore. I
Speaker 1: just want to see stories. Yeah, you can post anything
Speaker 1: a story and it'll disappear. There's like, no, it's it's
Speaker 1: pretty freeing to do to do stories. I love it,
Speaker 1: and you can just start doing it. No one's gonna
Speaker 1: be like, oh, look who's trying to do stories? Like no,
Speaker 1: you know, like you can just do it and then
Speaker 1: not do it if you want to. But yeah, it's
Speaker 1: the stories.
Speaker 2: There's there's funny things in there. You're frequently propping up
Speaker 2: other comedians that I've never heard of, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I want to see what that person. Well that's nice, okay, Yeah, No,
Speaker 2: I really like your stories. And then sometimes you even
Speaker 2: break news for me. I'm like, well, I don't know that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Toby Keith died.
Speaker 1: I mean I didn't break that news, but I did
Speaker 1: see that today and that's really sad. He just performed
Speaker 1: in December and he died and it's February, like, how
Speaker 1: oh boy? All right, well, let's go to the super Bowl.
Speaker 1: We'll see you there next week. Don't be cut And
Speaker 1: I'm not doing just anymore. I'm just too exhausted trying
Speaker 1: to figure them out by a new sign up, a
Speaker 1: sign all right, brand storms, Brian Storms, Brian Storms. All right, bye, guys,
Speaker 1: be next week.