Speaker 1: Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 1: much baggage you claim and.
Speaker 2: Give us time and a terminol and gay a.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off InStyle.
Speaker 3: We want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgara.
Speaker 3: We are in the middle of what do.
Speaker 1: You call it, a global pandemic.
Speaker 3: It's catchy.
Speaker 4: We're going to talk about our feelings and then we're
Speaker 4: gonna scream.
Speaker 3: Then we're scream which is also therapeutic.
Speaker 2: I would like to say, I'm trying to find the
Speaker 2: silver lining and all the kind of very creepy clouds
Speaker 2: that are around us right now. I drove ninety five
Speaker 2: miles an hour down the one oh one at three
Speaker 2: forty five in the afternoon. That's a goddamn miracle. It's
Speaker 2: never happened. I don't think and.
Speaker 4: It's it's therapeutic. It feels good because I've seen other
Speaker 4: people do it.
Speaker 2: I'll be honest. I was run once I got off
Speaker 2: the freeway. I was running yellow lights. I was still
Speaker 2: going about eighty five like it's I'm enjoying the complete
Speaker 2: lack of cars.
Speaker 4: It's it's funny like in the last couple of weeks,
Speaker 4: I realized how much people really like that Matt Max
Speaker 4: movie because they are acting like they're in it, yes, aggressively.
Speaker 4: At first I thought people were acting like Dick's and
Speaker 4: now I noticed people are just being friendly from a distance,
Speaker 4: and I'm appreciating it. But yeah, I haven't been driving much.
Speaker 4: I've been adhering to this thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too.
Speaker 4: It's it almost is a bummer how easy it's been
Speaker 4: for me to.
Speaker 5: Adapt to this.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 2: It has been absolutely no adjustment from my normal life,
Speaker 2: except for I don't feel bad anymore.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: All I ever wanted was permission to not contribute, and
Speaker 4: I'm not and I'm not making light.
Speaker 3: For a lot of people. This is a big deal
Speaker 3: for poor people.
Speaker 4: Old I think of old no cool in an old
Speaker 4: folks home, who already know go wants to visit their
Speaker 4: smelling grandma and now they're just fucking sitting there present.
Speaker 4: I understand that it's a big deal, but I've been
Speaker 4: sort of enjoying it, so then I feel bad.
Speaker 2: Oh, I wouldn't do that. What's the point of that,
Speaker 2: because this is all bad. This is bad for everybody.
Speaker 2: You don't have to know the ice special qualifiers.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the permission for isolation I've been appreciating. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: I but when I when I've heard people post quotes
Speaker 4: though that are like, now's the time to focus on yourself.
Speaker 3: Treat it like a spa retreat or something.
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, not everyone has the luxury of this
Speaker 4: being like a cleansing experience, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Would it be different for you if it said treat
Speaker 2: yourself like you're on a camping trip indoors?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm like, I'm doing that.
Speaker 1: I am thank you.
Speaker 3: Quote that's from that's.
Speaker 2: My wallpaper you're talking about, says Chris, Yeah, holding a.
Speaker 3: Lantern up as I really am glad. I did that
Speaker 3: to my bedroom. For a while, I didn't know why
Speaker 3: I did that.
Speaker 4: I thought it was very strange, and now yeah, I've
Speaker 4: just been camping.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean things are really coming into focus in
Speaker 2: this global pandemic slash quarantine time.
Speaker 1: It's strange, though, you still got guys like this.
Speaker 2: You know, he's making the most of it by writing
Speaker 2: in the middle of the fucking lane.
Speaker 4: He's by himself as long as you're by yourself. Our governor,
Speaker 4: what's his name? Gavin Newsom? Newsome sent a nice letter
Speaker 4: out via social media and skateboarding was on it. Oh really,
Speaker 4: go hiking, biking, skateboarding. He puts skateboarding on it. I'm like,
Speaker 4: oh man, the guy can probably do a kickflip. No,
Speaker 4: I didn't realize how handsome he.
Speaker 2: He's handsome, he's young. And my sister just told me.
Speaker 2: She said, this is unprovable family gossip. But he grew
Speaker 2: up in the mission distarched in San Francisco, just like
Speaker 2: my mom and her family.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: And my dad said he believed from stories he's been
Speaker 2: told that my grandmother is Gavin Newsom's godmother. Oh wow,
Speaker 2: but it's such a My sister told me that on
Speaker 2: the phone the other day, and there was like five
Speaker 2: seconds where I was genuinely excited, and then I was like,
Speaker 2: what the fuck am I?
Speaker 1: Who cares?
Speaker 2: It's probably the most distant weird you didn't earn that,
Speaker 2: like glory moment.
Speaker 3: Still exciting because he's our little Justin Trudeau.
Speaker 2: He's California's answer to that hot Canadian piece of ass
Speaker 2: trust Justin Trudead.
Speaker 3: I just ordered his calendar.
Speaker 2: Mostly it's him drinking people syrup straight out of the tree.
Speaker 3: It's all Canadian based, so hot. But yeah, it's I
Speaker 3: was happy to see.
Speaker 4: That's as long as you're skateboarding with friends center six
Speaker 4: feet away from you, which you're never in tandem.
Speaker 1: No, that sound cool, right, so I've been.
Speaker 3: Doing Yeah, it's not us board built for two with.
Speaker 1: Like one arm around each other. I love both skating.
Speaker 3: I just didn't getting to know these guys. They're agent. No, no,
Speaker 3: I won't.
Speaker 4: It's hard to bring it up. You guys want to,
Speaker 4: I don't know. Let's skate on the same board to
Speaker 4: pull out like a double lung.
Speaker 2: Let's get goofy foot it. Oh, Karen, you just Karen,
Speaker 2: don't that would.
Speaker 3: Just mean your right foot forward?
Speaker 1: You knew that well, I know. But it isn't about
Speaker 1: surfing or is it both?
Speaker 3: I think? Yeah, surfing is what named it that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but does skateboarding get a lot of things from surfing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so this, Yeah, it's just I love her.
Speaker 2: That's what I was just doing on the freeway going
Speaker 2: ninety five.
Speaker 3: Crank in your pandemic mix.
Speaker 4: It is, Yeah, a lot of a lot of the
Speaker 4: terminology surfing started it that skateboarding came along in the sixties.
Speaker 1: That makes sense.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so goofy. Yeah, I don't know why. It's about
Speaker 4: half the population rides, but they're maybe more people are
Speaker 4: regular footed. It's actually kind of a nasty name. It
Speaker 4: really is right forward to discuss. They're not goofy at all.
Speaker 4: They're just like you and me.
Speaker 1: They're not different. And stop calling at the Chinese virus.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, just because they're long landed and you can't
Speaker 4: trust them.
Speaker 3: Just because of those two reasons, it doesn't mean they're goofy.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean it's goofy. It's totally valid. I footed.
Speaker 4: I don't want to sound alitos, but the three guys
Speaker 4: I skated with this morning all regular footed. I'm just
Speaker 4: saying it was a coincidence. I noticed it.
Speaker 3: Nor Like you're in a room pull of white people are.
Speaker 2: Your new skateboard friends, and you say they're age appropriate,
Speaker 2: so they're not twelve.
Speaker 4: No, no, these guys, no, they are yet a lot
Speaker 4: of times, it's so funny how normal it was for
Speaker 4: me to exchange phone numbers and make appointments to go
Speaker 4: skate with guys.
Speaker 3: That were in their late teens. Yeah a few years.
Speaker 1: Did they have their own phones? Or do you have
Speaker 1: to talk to their mom for their mom?
Speaker 3: I end to bring him home by dead.
Speaker 1: Her mom looked you up on It's sex offender list.
Speaker 1: You got cleared. Everything was there's no red dot over
Speaker 1: your apartment.
Speaker 3: You're free to babysit.
Speaker 1: Have you looked one of those fucking things up?
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm afraid.
Speaker 2: So in your own neighborhood, it's like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: Looks like a twister boy.
Speaker 4: Each color is a different severity, and they're on all
Speaker 4: four sides of me out every everywhere.
Speaker 3: I can borrow sugar from the worst of offenders.
Speaker 2: Please stay at least six feet away from every sex
Speaker 2: offender in your neighborhood. That's the new Gavin Newsom rule. Now,
Speaker 2: did Gavin Newsom right go skater go home? Or did
Speaker 2: he just say you can go skateboarding?
Speaker 4: He said skater die, actually, which I thought in the circumstances,
Speaker 4: you know what, not good word choice.
Speaker 1: My grandma said.
Speaker 3: He was like, oh, you and your grandma? What is here?
Speaker 3: God brother?
Speaker 2: He's uh, he would be my god uncle because oh
Speaker 2: my god, you gotta let him know he's.
Speaker 3: Your god uncle.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to get a ventilator. I mean, why
Speaker 1: not use a fucking juice while I have it.
Speaker 4: You gotta get one, as the god niece wreth the
Speaker 4: ventilator at least one. Now here's you want a mask?
Speaker 4: Remember when Trump was tossed in toilet papers? Yeah, in
Speaker 4: Puerto Rico.
Speaker 3: Well, I just want to mask.
Speaker 1: I hear you.
Speaker 3: I've been looking.
Speaker 2: You can make them by hand. That the crafty person
Speaker 2: that you are, you know you can hand make one
Speaker 2: for yourself.
Speaker 4: Well, so then I'm basically wearing one when I put
Speaker 4: a bandana around like I'm about to rob a train.
Speaker 2: No, no, I mean, I mean you can actually sew
Speaker 2: one that's like N fifteen five.
Speaker 1: You can make it so that it closes at the top.
Speaker 2: Huh, And it's all that's the point of the specific
Speaker 2: com Okay, and.
Speaker 3: Does that have a little ventilator on or a little
Speaker 3: event You can put.
Speaker 1: One on or a button, or you can sew your
Speaker 1: initials onto it.
Speaker 4: I do want I mean I want to look good
Speaker 4: first and foremost, but I also want it to have
Speaker 4: the function.
Speaker 1: Of a proper to keep, to keep you alive.
Speaker 3: Also not a sewer. I mean I can do other
Speaker 3: things with my hands, but I don't have a machine.
Speaker 2: Oh I thought for some reason, I thought you were
Speaker 2: into kind of oddly into.
Speaker 1: I am ye, why whatever it takes.
Speaker 4: My dad was a reupholstered some couches, like he's a
Speaker 4: good sewer, but he's the one that put all of
Speaker 4: my patches on my jackets.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no story of you sewing.
Speaker 3: And then you need to learn to sew.
Speaker 1: Didn't you sew curtains or something?
Speaker 3: I have my hand with a needle and threat, but
Speaker 3: I got the time.
Speaker 1: Fuck it, what do you have?
Speaker 4: When I lived with my buddy Ross, he started a
Speaker 4: little snowboard company and he learned to sew and made
Speaker 4: the glove, made all the mittens.
Speaker 1: That's amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you worked hard.
Speaker 1: Where's Ross? Now?
Speaker 3: We need Ross? Please sew me a mask?
Speaker 1: Yes, how about you make tons of do you need
Speaker 1: to ride masks?
Speaker 3: We'll pay you.
Speaker 4: I'll call him on the phone. I'm yelling at him
Speaker 4: right now, like he's outside the window.
Speaker 3: Ross, are you hearing that?
Speaker 1: Ross?
Speaker 3: Please?
Speaker 1: Ross stopping selfish? We need this.
Speaker 3: I dropped off some food at this for a food bank.
Speaker 3: It was at a church.
Speaker 4: I just got whatever it is. That's what I don't
Speaker 4: understand is why toilet paper? Why is it because people
Speaker 4: feel like they have control.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's cheap so they can go in and
Speaker 2: buy all of it and it doesn't actually break the bank,
Speaker 2: and then they their fear of like what if I
Speaker 2: have to shit into my own hand is cured.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess that's a fear of people.
Speaker 1: I mean, but it's very prime prime mordial.
Speaker 4: Well, it's primitive to shit in your hand, Yes, especially
Speaker 4: if you throw it.
Speaker 3: I mean, at that point, that's.
Speaker 2: Monkey behaviorasty business, that's monkey business.
Speaker 3: They're in the business of tossing in business. But I
Speaker 3: have a day that I.
Speaker 4: Received after coincidentally telling a bunch of Pooh stories on podcasts.
Speaker 3: They gave me one. I quit it.
Speaker 4: I installed it. That's great, So I've been using that.
Speaker 4: I still got baby wipes. I'm just doing that. Don't
Speaker 4: flush well, don't flush. Oh, they are fleshable.
Speaker 3: Great. At the dollar store they say flushable.
Speaker 2: Most of them are Do you think they have a
Speaker 2: stamp that they put that on the things when they
Speaker 2: need to.
Speaker 4: Sell them, it said flushable and the time most of
Speaker 4: them have a Ghostbusters circle crossover a toilet.
Speaker 3: But do not, do not please. We don't care how
Speaker 3: cute your baby is.
Speaker 2: But that when that trend kicked up, people adults, adult
Speaker 2: people using baby wipes on their own ass.
Speaker 1: I was so baffled by that. What are people doing
Speaker 1: that they need all this extra?
Speaker 4: And then right then they and they're they're like, get
Speaker 4: a load of this, and then they show you their pristine, pristine, clean,
Speaker 4: pink little bumhole.
Speaker 1: Like a cat. It bleach, No, did you get a tail? Oh?
Speaker 3: I was. You weren't supposed to focus on that.
Speaker 1: Have you seen there's your primordial ass primortial.
Speaker 2: Have you seen there's a fucking internet video and it's
Speaker 2: a guy standing in the empty parking lot of like
Speaker 2: a motel that's by the freeway, and he's pointing at
Speaker 2: this red card and he's like, yeah, see see that
Speaker 2: red carver. There there's a guy in there. I walked
Speaker 2: by the window. I don't know what's going on around here.
Speaker 2: But I walked by the window and he yelled out
Speaker 2: his window, hey, I'll give you a chocolate chip cookie
Speaker 2: if I can look at your asshole. And he's like,
Speaker 2: can you believe that shit that's happening around here? And
Speaker 2: then he points over to the car. He goes, yeah,
Speaker 2: that guy right there and he's holding a half eaten
Speaker 2: chocolate chip cookie.
Speaker 1: It's the funniest thing I've ever just like it a
Speaker 1: dirty dad joke. The guy just made. It's a joke.
Speaker 1: It didn't really happen.
Speaker 2: Oh, he's just being funny in this super darty way.
Speaker 1: It's like he took it and showed the guy's use.
Speaker 4: Wait, I'm sorry. Was this a big yeah? But it's
Speaker 4: a dad's video. He's like, hey, I'm oh, sorry.
Speaker 1: I should have said I meant dad like a dad joke,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: That seems like, yeah, look what I almost stepped in
Speaker 4: rude ofphen it's Santa Claus was ship in his hands, right,
Speaker 4: isn't that the.
Speaker 3: Around? Look what I almost.
Speaker 4: Stepped in with shed in your hands was always It's
Speaker 4: a classic, one of my dad's classics. But to see
Speaker 4: that play out in seventies VHS footage.
Speaker 3: It's beta Beta Beta Max.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, I didn't favorite God damn it. Why do
Speaker 1: I do that? I don't have it? How old Steve
Speaker 1: Stevie Stephen.
Speaker 4: Littee, little Stevie Wonder who records the songs?
Speaker 1: And it's a harmonica.
Speaker 3: He has no friends. He gets so good as the harmonica.
Speaker 2: Oh too good at it. But he took him away.
Speaker 2: He has friends now, just like the Jonas Brothers.
Speaker 4: All right, I've been sort of meaning to watch that
Speaker 4: documentary think you have? I mean, I watched The Backstreet
Speaker 4: Boys one I should watch the Jonas Bros.
Speaker 1: Was the backsp Boys? Good? It's great, They're great guys.
Speaker 4: I'm not so mad at him for no reason, just
Speaker 4: because they said Backstreet's back. All right, back from what?
Speaker 4: It's such a breakout hit. You know you're not back
Speaker 4: from shit. You just got here, you just arrived.
Speaker 1: I think that was the nineties.
Speaker 2: It was a time where everybody automatically hated everything, and
Speaker 2: it was like very Dennis Leary smoking a cigarette.
Speaker 1: It's very Mark Marinny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know that was back when it was like
Speaker 2: all anyone wanted to do was shit on things and
Speaker 2: take umbrage with things. So like yeah, we just did
Speaker 2: things like that automatically back.
Speaker 4: Then, And so they were trying to bypass the initial
Speaker 4: hate by saying, hey, we've been here, you can't hate it.
Speaker 3: Maybe we're back.
Speaker 2: I just mean because you were saying why did I
Speaker 2: hate them? And it's like, oh, okay, we had no choice.
Speaker 3: Those where gars.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're doing it. We had no other options. We
Speaker 1: didn't know what else we should do.
Speaker 4: I call it the marritime, and it's my marriedtime, the
Speaker 4: marriedtime law.
Speaker 1: But Maren, but Marin time, Marin time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Also I didn't like the music, true. Yeah, so
Speaker 4: in fairness to me, it were you were right. But
Speaker 4: then why do I have those whole song memorized? Like
Speaker 4: I watched this documentary, I knew all their body of.
Speaker 2: Music well because it was on the radio constantly. That
Speaker 2: was back when, trust youeral radio was more of a thing.
Speaker 2: It was pre internet, it was pre cell phone. It
Speaker 2: was still very we had things forced on us.
Speaker 4: Speaking of pre internet, pre cell phone. But viral videos
Speaker 4: that would be a dad joke anyway. Okay, let's just
Speaker 4: admit I'm changing the subject. Martha gave me a video
Speaker 4: way back that reminds me of what But it was
Speaker 4: great Martha Kelly, some the amazing Martha Kelly. She had
Speaker 4: a videotape that was puppets, but it was set to
Speaker 4: audio that this guy acquired by recording his neighbors. They
Speaker 4: were like drunk older men that lived together. I don't
Speaker 4: know if they are a couple or just roommates, but
Speaker 4: they're constantly fighting. Yeah, and he made a puppet show
Speaker 4: along to this audio. I remember it was like the
Speaker 4: Wonder Shows, but before all that. Yeah, it was just
Speaker 4: a tape in the late nineties, and they had a
Speaker 4: documentary about I know you drank the vodka because I
Speaker 4: marked the bottle and what's the name of it? I
Speaker 4: will never remember. And I want to ask Martha. I
Speaker 4: wonder if she's.
Speaker 1: There's a documentary about it, Like we could figure it
Speaker 1: out in one.
Speaker 3: So oh is there? Oh wow, okay, because it's it's
Speaker 3: like I.
Speaker 1: Hate you with my whole heart or something like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, something.
Speaker 1: It's really awful of it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wonder if that would hold up.
Speaker 4: At the time, it was the most amazing thing I'd
Speaker 4: ever seen, this this fountain. Oh, I think so to muppets,
Speaker 4: but it's what crank Ankers ended up being.
Speaker 3: I'm sure that that was.
Speaker 4: You know, the basis for making that show.
Speaker 2: Do you know that my friend Laura, who I missed
Speaker 2: terribly as usually.
Speaker 1: Well, but she did this.
Speaker 2: Thing and now I don't know which is say her
Speaker 2: name because but it's amazing they used to have oh
Speaker 2: you know what, I can say her name because she
Speaker 2: isn't the one who did it.
Speaker 1: Ye.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, remember think.
Speaker 1: Hit full breakdown.
Speaker 3: There we are.
Speaker 2: I realized, I realized we should sing way more on
Speaker 2: this show, because who's going to slop us with a
Speaker 2: with the training musical restraining order?
Speaker 1: Anyway? When there's a global pandemic, who cares?
Speaker 2: Come and get me, Come and get come and get
Speaker 2: the legal system to support you.
Speaker 4: Bring a six foot hook to put him around my neck?
Speaker 4: So I assume they'll grab me, like pulling me off stage.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they'll yank you out of the car. What does
Speaker 1: that dog doing? Oh chocolate, what are you doing? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good one. He's like, I don't feel like
Speaker 1: going anymore.
Speaker 3: Yeah he's old.
Speaker 1: Don't make me walk anymore.
Speaker 3: I love a dog with bad hips.
Speaker 1: He's a bad hit.
Speaker 3: Look at him.
Speaker 2: He would absolutely murder anyone that came towards your child.
Speaker 1: I love that dog.
Speaker 2: So Laura had a boyfriend who had an upstairs neighbor
Speaker 2: in this apartment, and the guy would come home from work.
Speaker 2: He was British and get shit face drunk, and he
Speaker 2: had his own karaoke machine in his apartment, which was
Speaker 2: not common back then, this was like early nineties, and
Speaker 2: he would sing the songs, but then he would start
Speaker 2: talking about the people he worked with in the song.
Speaker 1: So he would basically make up a song about people.
Speaker 2: That he hated and all the people that are driving
Speaker 2: him crazy, they're hearing it. They he was recording it himself,
Speaker 2: and one day the boyfriend or the friend of the boyfriend,
Speaker 2: some like a couple people out, which is why I
Speaker 2: think it's okay to tell the story, went upstairs and
Speaker 2: stole the tape and so we to listen to this tape.
Speaker 2: We would get drunk and come home from bars and
Speaker 2: then put the karaoke British karaoke.
Speaker 3: Guy on Amazing.
Speaker 4: We built this city kind of like my friend Larry
Speaker 4: that works for the city and he has bad breadth
Speaker 4: back this.
Speaker 2: City exactly, and usually it was more like it would
Speaker 2: be my way, but he'd be like, no, fuck you Diane.
Speaker 3: When he wants to kill Diane.
Speaker 1: We all hate our coworkers. Look, that's how it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was amazing.
Speaker 2: And when you're drunk, it's even more amazing because you're drunk.
Speaker 1: Everything's great when you're drunk.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I suppose when I do karaoke, I have
Speaker 4: to have drinks because it scares me more than stand up.
Speaker 3: I want to do it, but I don't have the
Speaker 3: best voice.
Speaker 4: Of course, Yeah, there I got, but I there are
Speaker 4: always little Shakespearean asides. And it has to be about
Speaker 4: your life unless you got dirt on the record wording artists.
Speaker 3: Who are you gonna talk smack about? New lyric Who are.
Speaker 1: You gonna call? Don't flush this.
Speaker 3: In a minute?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 2: Explain you said earlier the Ghostbusters thing was around the whites,
Speaker 2: and I wanted to do that.
Speaker 1: Then I wanted to do it.
Speaker 3: Then I'm glad you put that in your pocket.
Speaker 1: Oh gross, some things you let marinate. Just o quit.
Speaker 4: We're all thinking about baby wife, So gross marinating baby.
Speaker 1: And it's been agret a baby wife.
Speaker 3: Don't this.
Speaker 4: Just some promotional video about sewage septic systems, some announcement
Speaker 4: from the city.
Speaker 2: You know that happened though in the eighties because that
Speaker 2: song was everywhere.
Speaker 1: You know, people did that to everything, and.
Speaker 4: I probably knew it and memorized it just like I did.
Speaker 3: We're in the Money with a scholarship from Crest. Yes,
Speaker 3: I can't. Why are these commercial jingles in my head?
Speaker 2: Because we just took them in with total innocence, Like
Speaker 2: we just absorbed them and actually kind of listened to
Speaker 2: them as children.
Speaker 4: What if someone was reading me mathematics. I know they
Speaker 4: probably were, and I wasn't listening. They're in the song
Speaker 4: glass my mind was collecting. Yeah, yeah, I know, a
Speaker 4: bill becomes a law. Unfortunately I have to sing it.
Speaker 4: It's embarrassing.
Speaker 2: I was going to say, some people always try to
Speaker 2: get me to do karaoke, and I finally realized that
Speaker 2: it was because someone else told me. They were like,
Speaker 2: of course you don't want to do it. You can't drink,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, yeah, that's the key. It's
Speaker 2: like you can't get high and sing. That makes it
Speaker 2: even worse. You're like so self conscious and crazy. Drinking
Speaker 2: is the only way it works, and like it's not
Speaker 2: an option.
Speaker 4: So yeah, and unfortunately years of drinking ruin your voice.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's right, my instrument I am.
Speaker 4: When I went to the Tattle Tale in Culver City.
Speaker 4: I think I've talked about that place before. It was
Speaker 4: that's when I first started going to this regular karaoke
Speaker 4: place because the group of people there would never otherwise be.
Speaker 4: There's cowboys over here. There's guys that look like they've
Speaker 4: probably killed people over here.
Speaker 3: There was a Vietnam veteran.
Speaker 4: There was a guy from Vietnam that was in the
Speaker 4: Vietnam War and his friend was a Vietnam veteran, and
Speaker 4: they both were friends, and they're like, we were all
Speaker 4: both in the war, but on the opposite side. You
Speaker 4: and they would sing duets together.
Speaker 3: I'm telling you.
Speaker 4: And I befriended this lady and we did a duet.
Speaker 4: We was saying, I just called to say I.
Speaker 3: Love you together her idea. I still sing the song
Speaker 3: in her honor.
Speaker 4: She died And then I went back one time and
Speaker 4: there was like a guy there crying and he said
Speaker 4: she died, and I'm like, I was just thinking of
Speaker 4: calling her. So I kept going there and singing with
Speaker 4: these people, just these different It was really interesting. There's
Speaker 4: a documentary called Karaoke Fever and That's why it's so bizarre.
Speaker 4: It's like so many different types of people and all
Speaker 4: they share is this.
Speaker 3: Love for karaoke.
Speaker 4: It's this whole world and I don't want to be
Speaker 4: in that world, but I do too late.
Speaker 3: I want to sing too late. We're going big.
Speaker 1: Part of it.
Speaker 4: What I don't understand is when people rent out one
Speaker 4: of those little rooms and sing to their friends and
Speaker 4: loved ones, well makes me nervous.
Speaker 1: I think it's that's funny.
Speaker 2: I have done that before in New York City because
Speaker 2: there's some place. Of course, New York is like there's
Speaker 2: there's no space, so it's like everybody just gets their
Speaker 2: own little room. And that was actually super fun because
Speaker 2: it was like, say, it's ten people from work, so
Speaker 2: you don't care about whatever anyone else thinks. You're just
Speaker 2: kind of trying to have fun with your group.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I think I've told you this story, But my
Speaker 2: friend Hayley, who's really one of the funniest people I've
Speaker 2: ever known, but when she would get super drunk, she
Speaker 2: was so hilarious and she did this thing where she
Speaker 2: put on her song and then and I think it
Speaker 2: was an ab A song from what I remember dancing queen.
Speaker 2: And then she walked out the door of the room
Speaker 2: and shut it so she could do an entrance.
Speaker 3: Oh that's greater.
Speaker 2: And then but then she kept missing her cue because
Speaker 2: she was drunk and she was just standing in the hall.
Speaker 2: She couldn't hear the song, and so then this song
Speaker 2: would just keep playing weed, I'll be like crying, laughing.
Speaker 2: And then she come and go oh okay again, started
Speaker 2: again and started againting.
Speaker 1: She did it like five times, missed the cue. You
Speaker 1: can't hear it. But she is like I had to
Speaker 1: do entrance everybody.
Speaker 3: Oh that's amazing.
Speaker 2: I think if you have a private room, you can
Speaker 2: get way more fucked up than you normally would, right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just my sister always wants to sing, like
Speaker 4: she got a little karaoke machine. And once we went
Speaker 4: as a family and for some reason, I don't, I
Speaker 4: get real nervous singing in front of my dad.
Speaker 3: I'll do my stand up, but the singing.
Speaker 1: Does he judging you? Is he holding his chair and nodding?
Speaker 4: I don't think so. I think he's just well, I
Speaker 4: don't know. I can't even make eye contact. Well, it's
Speaker 4: got to be strangers only.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes Sense Stranger or something dot com. I
Speaker 2: did back when Greg Barren and Dave Anthony were still
Speaker 2: doing Walking the Room, Yeah, legendary podcast. Yeah, I did
Speaker 2: it one time and Greg asked me if I would
Speaker 2: do one of my songs because it was like around
Speaker 2: the time I was doing those songs. But we were
Speaker 2: up in his like a walking closet in his upstairs bedroom,
Speaker 2: and Dave had to leave because he was so like
Speaker 2: uncomfortable with the vulnerability of me just playing rightings. Some
Speaker 2: people can't he couldn't do it. He was like, I can't.
Speaker 2: I have to leave, and I'm like, that's so insulting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had a part. Well, I don't know.
Speaker 4: They're like, I love Henry Phillips and I love what
Speaker 4: he does. I love it's comedy. I love it songs.
Speaker 4: But when we were at a party and everyone's around
Speaker 4: a fire or something and the guitar comes out, I
Speaker 4: do admit I get a little nervous. Yeah, like when
Speaker 4: it's intimate and it's like in a weird way, he's
Speaker 4: not looking right in my eyes, but he's sort of
Speaker 4: serenading me, and it's you know, there's a there's a
Speaker 4: I guess the romance and with singing, it's true it's
Speaker 4: a small group of people.
Speaker 2: Well, it's you know what it is, it's vulnerability. It's
Speaker 2: when you're singing. That was the reason that I started
Speaker 2: doing it is because it scared me so much that
Speaker 2: when I very first started like singing on stage, I
Speaker 2: could barely breathe, I could barely get the words out.
Speaker 2: And then it became this thing of like I am
Speaker 2: not fucking letting this get to me, Like I am
Speaker 2: going to get it to the point where I can
Speaker 2: actually sing these songs out loud.
Speaker 1: And that was just my.
Speaker 2: Goals, Like it's so hard and vulnerable, and you might
Speaker 2: as well just do this of course.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's what stand up was the only reason
Speaker 4: I'm not afraid to do is stand up is because
Speaker 4: I do it more right.
Speaker 1: And stand up.
Speaker 2: You're not vulnerable because you keep on making jokes. So
Speaker 2: it's like any moment of vulnerability, you just build that
Speaker 2: wall real quick. Yeah, you make them laugh and you
Speaker 2: get them away from you, And that's how you earn
Speaker 2: your space and protect your vulnerability.
Speaker 4: Exact my whole act, I'm just getting away from the
Speaker 4: previous joke but doing the next.
Speaker 3: One, building another Wall plus. As a kid, no one
Speaker 3: ever said you should be a singer. It was usually
Speaker 3: the comedy.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: My dad used to say, can you sing far far away?
Speaker 2: Classic insulting dad Joe, Oh that's great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't like it.
Speaker 3: Just holding a cookie. Didn't like it.
Speaker 1: This guy rid of here.
Speaker 2: He did it the perfect point on holding the phone
Speaker 2: up but pointing past your own phones.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I really emerged singing in a car and someone saying, yeah,
Speaker 4: who sings this?
Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh uh why I said yeah.
Speaker 4: I think at the time it was ever clear terrible myth,
Speaker 4: But then I was like, oh, everclear.
Speaker 3: He's like, yeah, let's keep it that way.
Speaker 6: A ship dad actually hurt my real Yeah that if
Speaker 6: it gets you and he has passed anyway, what your cat?
Speaker 3: Oh no, the.
Speaker 1: Guy, the guy who said that I was driving singing
Speaker 1: ever clear myth.
Speaker 3: It was my buddy's at Oh no, it's okay, I
Speaker 3: got it.
Speaker 4: You know, we get we get on and run a
Speaker 4: fun time, fun friend, funny and you know I got
Speaker 4: to bring it down with some death.
Speaker 3: It's always on my tongue.
Speaker 2: It's my favorite. Wait, no, I'm sorry because we drove
Speaker 2: by it. Dunkin donuts and it was open.
Speaker 1: Do you think drive through Starbucks is considered necessary? It
Speaker 1: can't be.
Speaker 7: Well, I went yesterday to the drive through. I went,
Speaker 7: it's still one, the one that we normally go to.
Speaker 3: It's still open.
Speaker 4: I went on the way before chickening out to help
Speaker 4: with the food bank.
Speaker 3: They didn't have masked cir gloves and I was out.
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 1: I'm that's fine.
Speaker 4: But on the way there, I walked into a Starbucks
Speaker 4: and I'm like, how is this different?
Speaker 3: But now they are.
Speaker 4: I think what was going on just four or five
Speaker 4: days ago is completely different.
Speaker 3: Yeah than now.
Speaker 4: But if we found a drive through one, we could
Speaker 4: get our yeah, coffee and then finally, oh, we're supposed
Speaker 4: to answer qu and make questions.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right.
Speaker 2: Well we had to, you know, we had to get
Speaker 2: our We had to first of all, connect because it's
Speaker 2: been like a month, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we had to dust off the friendship.
Speaker 1: We had to make sure it was still.
Speaker 3: It's shining and sparkling. It's under a layer a mock.
Speaker 2: It looks like that head that Indiana Jones sligns in
Speaker 2: the cave.
Speaker 3: Yeah, why wasn't it Dusty.
Speaker 1: The beautiful head wasn't dusty way back in that fucking cave.
Speaker 4: It always bothered me. There's dust everywhere. The head wouldn't
Speaker 4: have been shiny.
Speaker 1: They also bag his sand so exact.
Speaker 3: So exactly, Yeah, the exact way.
Speaker 1: Oh you knew, because you're so smart.
Speaker 3: Oh you knew it'd be exactly eight pounds.
Speaker 1: You know what.
Speaker 2: That movie's perfect. We can't even do this to it
Speaker 2: because it's a perfect film.
Speaker 3: I was doing a character. That's why I had to
Speaker 3: change my voice, because I didn't believe what he was saying.
Speaker 3: I refer to him as a heat.
Speaker 2: He is that you were playing a heat. It's very
Speaker 2: male of you to negate Indiana.
Speaker 4: Jones, there wouldn't be dusty darks.
Speaker 1: I have a male character as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yours has a slight stutter.
Speaker 5: You know, he's looking a bit, acting like it knows everything. Okay,
Speaker 5: the big thing. You didn't get under that thing in time.
Speaker 5: Just by the way, just so you know, no one's.
Speaker 3: That's tide of hand. I'll tell you that much. I'm
Speaker 3: a magician, uncle.
Speaker 1: No one's that good at whips. And you know it,
Speaker 1: and I know it too.
Speaker 3: We all know.
Speaker 4: Occasionally whipping your own face when you practice in the
Speaker 4: backyard with your hat.
Speaker 3: It's more of a hat, but I tell your head.
Speaker 1: Look, nobody can get a hat like that. It looks
Speaker 1: that cool, you know what. I feel like.
Speaker 2: I'm going right into a polly walnuts area, the old
Speaker 2: polly walnuts, poly walnuts from the sopranos.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, Poulie with a silver on the side. I've
Speaker 4: been wanting those silver wings. Oh yeah, I'm growing out
Speaker 4: my hair and I would it be weird if I
Speaker 4: just had silver comb over with things that I yes,
Speaker 4: so I guess it would be hirre.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd wait on that.
Speaker 3: You've got some time, You're right, I should wait until
Speaker 3: I around people. That's a drive through stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh look at all those cars.
Speaker 3: Hey, we got nothing but time.
Speaker 1: Those guys are all going in.
Speaker 3: It's nice and safe.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Wait, oh, I see where I am. I thought I
Speaker 2: was one street down.
Speaker 1: Because what about the one that's cut like on the
Speaker 1: way back. So I just get into that line. Looks
Speaker 1: a little crazy.
Speaker 3: It is six cars. We can do that. Okay, that's
Speaker 3: twelve beverages. Stop.
Speaker 1: Look, everybody thinks they can't go to the drive room,
Speaker 1: but they can't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm assuming they're by the pool beverage Park.
Speaker 3: I couldn't think of the word rules. That's because domin
Speaker 3: I used to work in the mine. The shaft of
Speaker 3: the mine, the worst part.
Speaker 1: Oh, softball area. Did you see that sign?
Speaker 3: I want it?
Speaker 4: It's caution softball area. It's so funny. It's not until
Speaker 4: you're locked up in a house less. It's been raining,
Speaker 4: so it's it's helped. But I want to go play
Speaker 4: softball now, got it? I want to play.
Speaker 3: Gotta got to, I got to and I want to.
Speaker 3: Softball didn't make it onto our Justin Trudeau list.
Speaker 2: That motherfucker's trying to take softball away. And there's a
Speaker 2: lot of girls named Shelby in northern California that won't
Speaker 2: have it.
Speaker 3: They won't have it with a fast underhand.
Speaker 4: Okay, when I said six, it's before these four cars
Speaker 4: showed up.
Speaker 2: There's literally one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Speaker 1: We're the tenth car.
Speaker 4: Well, now that we're let's go, let's do some questions
Speaker 4: just since we're in a line.
Speaker 1: Let's do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh yeah, we'll do another episode and continue to
Speaker 4: dust off our shiny friendship.
Speaker 1: You know it's funny. I was telling you earlier.
Speaker 2: But I'll tell the listeners at home and at work
Speaker 2: wherever you might be right now, hopefully not at work.
Speaker 3: Bathtub listening to.
Speaker 1: And us under right underneath Pavaratti.
Speaker 3: It's a great, great accompaniment.
Speaker 1: I forgot what it was gonna say.
Speaker 4: Oh, you might be at work, you might anyone listening.
Speaker 4: I need to know before that attention that we're about
Speaker 4: to dust off our shiny friendship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then you said it's.
Speaker 1: Because it is.
Speaker 2: Oh, I was just going to say, I have been
Speaker 2: listening to this podcast and lots of podcasts, because that's
Speaker 2: kind of how I spend my daytime.
Speaker 1: Is I'll clean my house or do something like a
Speaker 1: you know, give.
Speaker 2: Myself like a task, and then listen to podcasts and
Speaker 2: it feels like I'm socializr amazing.
Speaker 4: My apartment is spots so spotless amazing.
Speaker 1: I realized too.
Speaker 2: I think part of me is getting ready for when
Speaker 2: people will one day come over again.
Speaker 1: Like I want to keep everything right.
Speaker 3: Got to stay hopeful.
Speaker 4: Yeah, even if we know that half the state might
Speaker 4: get this in some way, whatever we're going to have party,
Speaker 4: it's going to pass.
Speaker 3: At some point.
Speaker 1: There will be parties again.
Speaker 3: These are blind promises. I do not have the data
Speaker 3: to back up what I mean.
Speaker 2: These are the kind of things you say when you
Speaker 2: have to say things like that. Yeah, yeah, and we'll
Speaker 2: and we'll say them.
Speaker 1: Yeah hell yeah.
Speaker 4: The other day I probably wouldn't have, But today I
Speaker 4: was in that baby position, you know, fetal.
Speaker 1: That's fine, he's fine.
Speaker 3: I better come out of us with some cool art.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you will.
Speaker 2: Oh, but I guess my point was just listening to this,
Speaker 2: I just need to feel the need to say that
Speaker 2: I never stop laughing during this podcast. But it's because
Speaker 2: you are so funny. But I listened to the podcast,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I sound like a mental patient.
Speaker 1: I just am laughing the entire time.
Speaker 3: When we first started, all I was trying to do
Speaker 3: is make you laugh.
Speaker 1: That's the point.
Speaker 3: And that's all. Yeah, that's all I've ever heard. That's
Speaker 3: all I got.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's all we have in trouble times.
Speaker 3: But thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, it's well, it is.
Speaker 2: It's fun to actually see why people enjoy the thing
Speaker 2: you like.
Speaker 1: That's a nice feeling.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and have them very close.
Speaker 1: He needed to get to his home in the Glendale Hills.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: Also, it's a seventeen year old girl.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she this is bizarre. I mean we are almost
Speaker 3: kissing me.
Speaker 1: Not a great plan, but that's fine.
Speaker 4: You that's not six feet sir. I don't know where
Speaker 4: your car's being.
Speaker 1: The person just blocked them more.
Speaker 3: I mean they they could have handled that differently.
Speaker 1: I think, I think so.
Speaker 2: But you know what what it always is, and that
Speaker 2: circumstance a fucking BMW every time.
Speaker 4: Hey, no, of fancy if you're out there and you
Speaker 4: get but if it's new, sorry fuck you.
Speaker 3: If you got it used and it's cool and you
Speaker 3: worked on it.
Speaker 2: Maybe, but still, you know something happens to people in BMW,
Speaker 2: or if.
Speaker 3: You bought it and you're like, well, am I going
Speaker 3: to look like a douche? It's such a nice car? Hey,
Speaker 3: I get it.
Speaker 4: I've been behind the wheel wearing a disguise because I
Speaker 4: don't want anyone to see I'm in an asshole car.
Speaker 1: What kind of disguise do you? Where is it? It must.
Speaker 3: One of us, I guess.
Speaker 4: A guy who doesn't finish sentences mustache.
Speaker 1: Drive and drive the senor's voice. Oh you know that?
Speaker 3: Oh I know what's that from you?
Speaker 1: When you draw a little milk on your hands.
Speaker 4: You know, maybe I'll do that tomorrow during my lock in.
Speaker 4: Do different draw different faces on my hand yep.
Speaker 1: Senor very good?
Speaker 3: It does, really very good.
Speaker 4: Have you ever done the putting eyes on your chin
Speaker 4: and then looking someone else has to do it and
Speaker 4: then watch their mouth talk with the eyes so their
Speaker 4: chin is the top of that. Yeah, that always looks
Speaker 4: pretty funny.
Speaker 1: That blows your mind.
Speaker 3: It still does.
Speaker 4: Man, I don't need acid and uh, you know shrooms
Speaker 4: and ludes and uppers and quakers and downers and up
Speaker 4: and ups and side jammers.
Speaker 1: You don't even need side jammers. That's how great putting
Speaker 1: two googly eyes on your chain is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a drug to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got it.
Speaker 3: First question is that Tom.
Speaker 1: Petty in the car behind us?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Wow, the re animated corps.
Speaker 4: Have you've seen the It's on YouTube, Tom Petty and
Speaker 4: Carry Shandling where neighbors carry Shandling and Tom Petty hanging
Speaker 4: out in his recording studio. Yeah, they were like real
Speaker 4: life neighbors. And it's right before. I can't remember who
Speaker 4: died first. Oh that's good. They both died very similar. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and they were Tom Petty is so funny. He's just dry,
Speaker 4: and was listening to him talk and waiting his turn,
Speaker 4: and he'd fucking throw out a zanger.
Speaker 1: Because he's the genius.
Speaker 3: They yeah, they it made me.
Speaker 4: And he had like old equipment like his You could
Speaker 4: tell he'd lived in that house for a long time
Speaker 4: and he's still recorded in his studio and it was
Speaker 4: kind of like seventies looking sound.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's just.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's the coolest. You know.
Speaker 2: There's I think I've told you about this before, but
Speaker 2: there is a video clearly Tom Petty is on hard drugs,
Speaker 2: like probably acid or heroin, and they're doing break down,
Speaker 2: go ahead and give to me, and he during the
Speaker 2: bridge of that song put like I don't know if
Speaker 2: he takes his guitar off or if he's not playing it.
Speaker 2: Whatever happens, he walks over to the backup singers and
Speaker 2: like goes and hugs him for a while, and they're
Speaker 2: just like they don't really know what to do. They
Speaker 2: just keep singing the refrain.
Speaker 4: Basically gonna say it's on acid. Well, I've never done
Speaker 4: to heroin.
Speaker 1: Right, You're right. Acid's more of a reach out and touch.
Speaker 3: I've never felt better than on it. I highly read
Speaker 3: recommend it.
Speaker 4: Sorry, all the other ones I prayed will loserees aids
Speaker 4: for winner. Everyone should try it once a year, but
Speaker 4: remember you're gonna do it and like around four pm,
Speaker 4: and then you will not come down for hours and
Speaker 4: hours and hours.
Speaker 3: When I say it's great, it's while you're a week. Well,
Speaker 3: you're awake.
Speaker 4: When you go to sleep, you will see flaming spinning
Speaker 4: Mickey Mouse heads and they do not stop multiplying.
Speaker 1: Are you saying mine?
Speaker 3: Is that?
Speaker 2: Mine was goofy, no spinning, goofy faces.
Speaker 3: I saw Mickey Mouse spinning heads.
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 3: Yeah? And I'm like, why Mickey Mouse? I don't even
Speaker 3: care about Disney.
Speaker 2: That's what I said. It was goofy spinning like that.
Speaker 2: That's all folks. Circle But just like stewed.
Speaker 4: Would it be interrupted by you imagining getting shot by
Speaker 4: a machine gun?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: Okay, So it wasn't all Disney.
Speaker 3: It wasn't the happiest place.
Speaker 2: I was very disappointed in myself though, for the Like
Speaker 2: I close my eyes and would come up and it
Speaker 2: would come up in like in like five across five
Speaker 2: down grid of spinning goofy heads, and and then I
Speaker 2: just opened my eyes again and go.
Speaker 1: You gotta be fucking kidding out.
Speaker 3: You have a celloud things in come? We do that mine? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And are you related to Kevin?
Speaker 4: I think Jim Hamilton, he's we are our friend h
Speaker 4: Nate had a birthday and we did it was like
Speaker 4: a Smarties candy and I and I had I was
Speaker 4: the funnest time I've ever had. But he stayed at
Speaker 4: my place and he was in the living room. I
Speaker 4: was in my bedroom and neither of us could sleep.
Speaker 4: And I think he mentioned that he was seeing Mickey
Speaker 4: mouse heads and then all of a sudden that turned
Speaker 4: on the switch. So I Jim started it so it
Speaker 4: didn't come out of nowhere. But yes, Disney character heads
Speaker 4: disembodied amazing, rotating and multiplying until they they just wouldn't
Speaker 4: stop getting smaller.
Speaker 1: Horrifying. Okay, sorry, I'm going to pause you.
Speaker 2: I want to tell everybody we have so many gift
Speaker 2: cards from Starbucks that every person in this car should
Speaker 2: get at least one food item along with their coffee drink,
Speaker 2: just so we can start using up these gift cards,
Speaker 2: right And you.
Speaker 1: Don't even have one on me if you oh, I
Speaker 1: have in my purse.
Speaker 2: But if you need a sandwich. Stephen, Please don't be
Speaker 2: afraid to order yourself a dessert or whatever you want.
Speaker 3: You just have to remember to eat very closed now.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, well hate.
Speaker 1: That it is gross.
Speaker 2: Yeah, unless you're totally getting off on it, and that
Speaker 2: it's a different thing, you should be paying for it.
Speaker 3: Yeah right right?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, if you like it, I'll rub on some
Speaker 4: vinyl while I eat, if that's here.
Speaker 3: If whatever shakes your.
Speaker 1: Shakes, you, can I help you today?
Speaker 5: Hi?
Speaker 2: A couple drinks? Can I get a triple tall one
Speaker 2: pump mocha?
Speaker 3: What do you want? I'll have it? Yes, a vanilla
Speaker 3: almond milk latte? Do they do that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I can?
Speaker 2: And can I get a grande almond milk latte with vanilla?
Speaker 1: You got it? Ste You want your hot, hot, hot
Speaker 1: please in just one pump up the vanilla? Please?
Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you, Stephen? Could I actually try the
Speaker 3: Golden ginger drink?
Speaker 1: Would you?
Speaker 3: And then?
Speaker 7: Could I get a double smoked bacon and cheddar sandwich.
Speaker 1: Do you have the rice crispy treats?
Speaker 5: Yes? I do?
Speaker 1: Do you want one?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Can I get two of those? Please? And then we're done?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: I can't wait.
Speaker 2: Oh, guys, it's so normalizing to be here at Starbucks.
Speaker 1: I want to cry. It feels so normal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel it's it's comforting, it's nice. I don't
Speaker 3: want that lying to ever oh.
Speaker 1: Good, because it won't.
Speaker 2: Did I ever say Patrick Thornton gave us one and
Speaker 2: it says, uh, skip the straws, save the turtles.
Speaker 1: Patrick, Patrick Thornton. We always do, We always do.
Speaker 3: Pat.
Speaker 2: Thank you very much Patrick for giving us lovely. And
Speaker 2: then here's one from Margaret and Cecilia from Philly. We
Speaker 2: love you guys, dine North forever.
Speaker 3: Oh, I have a show in Philly next month. I
Speaker 3: wonder if it's canceled.
Speaker 1: Oh, I bet it is.
Speaker 2: But if it's not, Margaret and Cecilia, you better be
Speaker 2: there for Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 3: But I have a good, good comedy website, and see
Speaker 3: if I'm still coming.
Speaker 1: It's canceled.
Speaker 3: So is New York.
Speaker 1: I face it.
Speaker 4: I know that's all right. Meantime, I'm going to do
Speaker 4: some animations. We're gonna start. I gotta get that sewing
Speaker 4: machine you said I need to get.
Speaker 1: Oh right, Yes, you have to start making COVID masks.
Speaker 3: Yes, and what else?
Speaker 1: What else?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: Jokes? God? I gotta sit around write jokes.
Speaker 2: You know what we gotta do. We got to answer
Speaker 2: some fucking We are now forty good at that.
Speaker 4: If we had commercial breaks, it would never happen abruptly.
Speaker 7: By the way, Gary Shanley and Tom Petty were both
Speaker 7: the same age when they died at sixty six, but
Speaker 7: a year apart.
Speaker 1: And who went for chandling first got.
Speaker 7: So And oh in the name of that that puppet
Speaker 7: neighbors recording thing is called shut up, little man.
Speaker 1: Shut up, little man.
Speaker 3: I never know that. That is newest to me.
Speaker 4: It was seriously on it as if as if Indiana
Speaker 4: found it himself, a dusty old BHS type with no
Speaker 4: label lavel that that Martha just happen.
Speaker 2: You should watch the documentary though, because it's really Oh
Speaker 2: I will yeah, wow.
Speaker 1: Is that an earthquake? A size seize? Oh cool?
Speaker 3: Okay, right now, what it means they're gonna laugh?
Speaker 4: What just because it was, uh, this one has to
Speaker 4: balance on the bottom.
Speaker 1: Great pewter tosses, Oh toss please.
Speaker 4: So one of my friends, uh he called my blood
Speaker 4: and he's like, I bet that you will get a
Speaker 4: ns use saying bet and me out of theopholes.
Speaker 3: I'm like, bet, so it's in saying it in Japanese.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, bet the word bet bet. That's hilarious.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, you found a loophole.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Really like all of my you can't see them.
Speaker 3: I like everything covered up with these two. It's like
Speaker 3: it's all Japanese traditional.
Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. And then some sound waves. I like it.
Speaker 1: Are you an editor? I am not.
Speaker 2: I'm actually a My degree will be in caesiology kinesiology.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, cool, so you'd be a physical therapist.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't want to go for occupational or chiropractor if
Speaker 4: I decided to go that route.
Speaker 3: But right now I'm leaning.
Speaker 4: Towards going back to school and getting getting a master's
Speaker 4: in business management and hopefully opening up my own change
Speaker 4: of gyms.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's awesome. Yeah, thank you. Just have a
Speaker 1: good one. And then I made friends with Kevin.
Speaker 3: I didn't know what kinesiology was.
Speaker 1: It's the study of movement, human movement. Let's see it.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 4: Yes, we asked, We asked you guys for questions for
Speaker 4: us for this episode and probably the next one, since
Speaker 4: we were such wind bags.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we really did have to get it together.
Speaker 4: And this is what we got from Instagram and Twitter
Speaker 4: and yeah, and all the ways people reached out.
Speaker 2: Oh, I said raged out, but I meant reached out.
Speaker 2: I'm going to show you this, Chris, before we start.
Speaker 4: That.
Speaker 2: People started sending me questions on Twitter, and then the girl,
Speaker 2: the woman, or the person I should say in this
Speaker 2: day and age, I should be saying the person right
Speaker 2: right who said sorry, take so many pictures of my dogs.
Speaker 1: I really think it's that's the bestes. She looked like
Speaker 1: she just did something bad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there should be garbage behind her.
Speaker 2: El Jacobson or Ellie, I can't see. She asked us
Speaker 2: to tell our origin story. She said, maybe it's already
Speaker 2: been done. But Chris and Karen's origin story. And also
Speaker 2: I made that little car. So the picture we posted
Speaker 2: last week, Yes, that's Ellie Jacobs.
Speaker 4: Ellie made this perfect like envelope holder for the gift card.
Speaker 4: That was a cardboard almost version of the constant Designer
Speaker 4: Volvo driving a Volva.
Speaker 3: But it's Karen's streamcar.
Speaker 2: It's and that concert designer design of that. Do you
Speaker 2: need to ride with all three of us in the car?
Speaker 2: Is our favorite?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: It is that that.
Speaker 3: I you have a bunch of gifts. It's almost staggering.
Speaker 4: I've I've typed her name in you have a gift
Speaker 4: team out there, make I don't it's.
Speaker 3: One person gift. It's not true.
Speaker 1: And she listens to this too. You have other ones
Speaker 1: does it, but it's from Here's the thing. I don't
Speaker 1: like it.
Speaker 2: I love that she does it. I love that people
Speaker 2: use them. That's all fine. It's horrifying.
Speaker 1: It's not for me.
Speaker 3: A lot of them. I'm like, what the hell was this?
Speaker 3: Were you in a what were you in a music
Speaker 3: video where people are fighting in the background? Were you?
Speaker 3: Were you in the Fiona Apple across the university?
Speaker 2: Little that that's my and Eric made a video when
Speaker 2: I was in Chicago and my album had came out.
Speaker 2: Then I moved to Chicago to go work on a
Speaker 2: talk show, and so while we were there, the guy
Speaker 2: that was in charge of the field department, and sorry, Eric,
Speaker 2: I cannot remember your last name off the top, and
Speaker 2: you're one of my favorite people on the planet. It
Speaker 2: starts the mess anyway, he was like, that's what he
Speaker 2: was worked in the field department. But that's he loved
Speaker 2: making videos. That's he's a really talented director. It's my
Speaker 2: Christmas song Drink My Way through Christmas And basically I
Speaker 2: punched Santa Claus in the face and.
Speaker 3: Start a bar fight Claus in the background.
Speaker 2: Yeah, basically I'm sitting at a bar singing the song
Speaker 2: and then I punched Santa Claus in the face. Then
Speaker 2: it starts a bar fight that is insanely epic and hilarious,
Speaker 2: and then I just leave out the back door.
Speaker 1: All the place is going crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: That Who's the country artist that I probably didn't would
Speaker 4: never want to talk politics with.
Speaker 3: But he's total ke. Yeah, there's one. I love this
Speaker 3: bar or whatever, I don't know, and people are.
Speaker 4: Just fighting and he's singing well, glass is bouncing off
Speaker 4: his face, and I have to say, it's just such
Speaker 4: a reminder of my.
Speaker 3: Childhood of home. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, takes me back to Montana or gift scenes from movies.
Speaker 4: But who doesn't like like an epic.
Speaker 1: Bar fight takes me back to the TV?
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly that scene in Hooper.
Speaker 1: Where you know Yeah, yeah, sure, okay, Steven, let's do it.
Speaker 1: Let's finally stop teasing and one right now.
Speaker 7: No, This first question from mcgiggles on Twitter is what
Speaker 7: song would you lead your neighborhood in a sing along.
Speaker 7: Allah that viral video of the Italians quarantines in Italy.
Speaker 4: Oh, it's always hard because speaking of karaoke, I'm always like, oh,
Speaker 4: what's going to be. Everyone knows that you'll be a
Speaker 4: huge hit if you sing Sweet Caroline.
Speaker 3: But if you don't sing that, you're a hack.
Speaker 4: Yes, but I'm always confronted by it because I can
Speaker 4: my voice just can turn into Neil Diamonds. I'm not exaggerating,
Speaker 4: but listen to me now, I sound like Neil diamond
Speaker 4: Just listen.
Speaker 2: To me, right, Yeah, you're right there at all times. Well,
Speaker 2: I think Sweet Caroline, though, is a cropleaser.
Speaker 1: I think it is. You can't think that.
Speaker 2: That's again, that's our nineties upbra hanging. We can't think
Speaker 2: things are hacky just because they're popular.
Speaker 3: Imagine a whole block of people going bada.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it has to be hands where everyone there's like
Speaker 4: a interactive vibe to it where people chime in.
Speaker 3: Otherwise you're just singing. You're just you know. Robin Williams
Speaker 3: on the saxophone.
Speaker 4: Moscow on the huts, I guess was a stupid he's
Speaker 4: always playing saxophone.
Speaker 1: He was really he was a sad Russian playing saxophone.
Speaker 1: I think mine.
Speaker 2: I actually tried to write this as a tweet and
Speaker 2: it was too long and then I just quit. But
Speaker 2: I want to go out onto my balcony.
Speaker 1: And yell the dog Lady's monologue from rear window where
Speaker 1: she goes what I didn't do it to Mahu because
Speaker 1: he liked it. You know, when the lady finds her
Speaker 1: dog dead in the flower bed. She's like, because he
Speaker 1: liked it. It's one of the only nice people in
Speaker 1: this staborhood. And you had to do this to him,
Speaker 1: didn't you.
Speaker 3: So from your window you would yell out lines from
Speaker 3: the movie rear window.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would do. It's a very short monologue.
Speaker 2: It it's about fifteen lines, and it would just be
Speaker 2: me crying and accusing people of killing my dog.
Speaker 3: And then at the end they would all just clap.
Speaker 3: It's like, I believe that was a performance.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think she's auditioning for something, even though it's not
Speaker 2: pilot season and we.
Speaker 4: Know, Unlass, you're doing self tape. No one's auditioning right now,
Speaker 4: no one's interested. I haven't had one cat food commercial.
Speaker 1: Okay, we've done it all right.
Speaker 7: At Chloe Leisure says, would you rather do dinaer in
Speaker 7: a fanboat in the Everglades or in a hot air balloon.
Speaker 4: Oh that's a great question, just for noise reasons. The
Speaker 4: hot air balloon. Yep, that'll periodically be.
Speaker 3: Weird.
Speaker 1: Albatro the floor.
Speaker 3: Sorry I didn't. I just won up your bird noise.
Speaker 1: That's okay. Here's a pigeon.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, it's a chicken.
Speaker 1: Did you want to at least be accurate?
Speaker 3: That's what I call them. Their pigeons are just street chickens.
Speaker 3: I've always said that you have.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 3: They're dirty dusty doves. Dirty you, dirty dusty dog.
Speaker 1: No, this guy's back.
Speaker 3: Oh that is my normal laugh. By the way, I
Speaker 3: do not have the.
Speaker 1: Cove COVID nineteen. Hey nineteen? Is it fifteen?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I would sing. I'm from my window. I
Speaker 3: just go back to that question.
Speaker 1: Oh you need to change it.
Speaker 3: No, no, I guess I'll go Sweet Caroline.
Speaker 4: I'm my boat is hot air balloon, and I've never
Speaker 4: been ballooning. I've never been offered.
Speaker 1: You'll get there someday, thank you. I do. I am
Speaker 1: very interested in going on a fan boat in the Everglades.
Speaker 1: I really am.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they just skim along the top.
Speaker 2: I think we would have to save the recording for
Speaker 2: the in between time when we're just floating.
Speaker 1: But I really like that idea.
Speaker 7: Yeah, well, I just did the Everglades trip this past Christmas,
Speaker 7: and you'd be surprised as actually how quiet they are.
Speaker 3: It's actually very eary.
Speaker 2: Those you're kind of just gliding And this is a
Speaker 2: sound engineer saying that, So that really means, yeah, you're
Speaker 2: just kind of gliding over.
Speaker 7: It's very It kind of feels like it shouldn't be.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm into that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe you were on a new fancy one. Was
Speaker 3: it like a hybrid?
Speaker 2: I like when things feel unnatural. This feels wrong, like
Speaker 2: it's from the devil.
Speaker 1: Cool sign me up.
Speaker 3: Also, if there's a patch of mud or a small
Speaker 3: island right across it, those boats are I love this
Speaker 3: barn grill.
Speaker 1: Okay, moving on all right, This bar angry.
Speaker 7: At bad gen Bot says if you could choose one
Speaker 7: celebrity to be quarantined with, who would it be?
Speaker 1: And why? Thought?
Speaker 3: Ah celebrity do they like me?
Speaker 1: Yeah that's key, that's crucial. I would pick I'm not
Speaker 1: for everyone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm so and so, and because the reason
Speaker 4: is because they already liked me.
Speaker 1: I know for a fact they like me, so I'll pick.
Speaker 3: Them if I end up with this thing.
Speaker 4: I do want to just sit with Tom Hanks and
Speaker 4: Rita Wilson. When I heard that news, I'm like, who next? Yeah,
Speaker 4: fucking Danny DeVito and Ria Pearlman.
Speaker 1: For real.
Speaker 4: I'll take two lovable icons that are that have been
Speaker 4: together forever and then just right away.
Speaker 3: Well, they're sick, but I think they're better.
Speaker 1: I think they are.
Speaker 3: They're out of that Australia hospital.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they I think they're lucky because they got
Speaker 2: before that it hit Australia, so they were early on
Speaker 2: of colours. They're rich so they don't have to worry
Speaker 2: about really anything. Look at this drive through? How how
Speaker 2: long the line is here? Oh guy, guys, we're so lucky.
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, I like I've always wanted.
Speaker 4: There was a moment Mary Soble was in Venice and
Speaker 4: he was on the phone and he said, I'm talking
Speaker 4: to Tom Hanks right now.
Speaker 3: He's Patty.
Speaker 4: He lived near me, you know him, He's yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 4: he was on the phone and I didn't leave him
Speaker 4: and he handed me the phone. He's like, hi, Chris, Yes,
Speaker 4: this is.
Speaker 1: Tom Harry back on and I'm like, yep, so sorry, I.
Speaker 3: Did talk to him on the phone first split second.
Speaker 1: That's cool.
Speaker 4: So I don't think it's that weird if I say, hey,
Speaker 4: I'm sick now too, can I come over. I just
Speaker 4: listen to Rita Wilson's album album.
Speaker 3: I think it's great.
Speaker 1: That's nice of you. You do the kind of work
Speaker 1: to really be a fan.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 2: Also, I think in this scenario, the way I'm insisting
Speaker 2: that it actually play out is that we don't have
Speaker 2: to earn the relationship. If we're going to play this game,
Speaker 2: Emma Bot, then this the given is that they want
Speaker 2: to hang out, right, because to put us in that
Speaker 2: position and to have the celebrity not want or have
Speaker 2: the interest in hanging out is heartbreaking.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 4: I need to see a list of celebrity whoever they are,
Speaker 4: that either don't hate me or already.
Speaker 2: I would love that list. It sounds like you died
Speaker 2: and went to heaven. Yeah, here's a list of celebrities
Speaker 2: who like you. Could you imagine?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's all I need In the end, and at
Speaker 3: the end, famous validation.
Speaker 2: So I guess the person I'm going to pick. I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm trying to think of like six a
Speaker 2: six month hang. So it's got to be someone funny
Speaker 2: and smart. I think it would help if they were
Speaker 2: British because British people are low key.
Speaker 1: They've already been through World War Two. Most of them
Speaker 1: they know hardship.
Speaker 3: So like a Martin Freeman or a Benedict cumber bunch o.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or I was thinking Hugh Laurie.
Speaker 2: I love him, he's so you know, yeah, yeah, doctor
Speaker 2: house type would be great.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was thinking to him too, just but early on.
Speaker 3: Can it be back when he did sketch comedy?
Speaker 2: Sure, young Hugh Laurie. I mean I feel like you'd
Speaker 2: walk into the kitchen. He'd be like, I'm making you
Speaker 2: an omelet. You know what I mean, Like something really
Speaker 2: brings something to the table.
Speaker 1: Yeah, relative, yeah, yeah, we've done it.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You don't get mine, though, Well I got Martin Freeman
Speaker 3: and Tom Hanks. I have a lot of people over here,
Speaker 3: and they're all.
Speaker 1: Famous, fine, and they're on your list. Do you know
Speaker 1: for a fact they like you.
Speaker 4: You can have a grumpy doctor who limps and pretends
Speaker 4: to be American. Yes, that's my thing, that's my jam,
Speaker 4: good solid limb.
Speaker 1: Just a grumpy doctor in general.
Speaker 3: So fire news.
Speaker 4: Yes, there's an episode where he's skateboarding and he I
Speaker 4: can't remember why, but he was getting better and he
Speaker 4: didn't need his cane anymore. And you know, the formula
Speaker 4: for that show every time was like there, you're a
Speaker 4: loose cannon house. What are you talking about? And he
Speaker 4: figures it out and then they're like sorry, and then
Speaker 4: they do it again the next episode. But he figured
Speaker 4: out something that was making his whatever was wrong with
Speaker 4: his leg better, and then he just started skateboarding.
Speaker 3: He's like skating on a bench. And then just I
Speaker 3: was like, what is this show?
Speaker 1: Did he rebreak it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, he ended up hurting again. It just back to
Speaker 4: normal at the end. He played for the next episode.
Speaker 1: I have to tell you that I watched I watched
Speaker 1: that entire series.
Speaker 2: After a while, I couldn't watch it anymore because it
Speaker 2: went on for so long, but that the formula was
Speaker 2: very satisfying to me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I really liked it. Yeah, And it was so
Speaker 4: obvious that it was happening. It's like, oh, and then
Speaker 4: in act two we he starts to work on the
Speaker 4: ailment against all of his the demands of all the
Speaker 4: other and the rest of the hospital.
Speaker 1: It's just then he sends some internists or interns.
Speaker 2: Or whatever they're called in hospitals to the to the
Speaker 2: patient's home just to snoop around.
Speaker 3: And then one of them gets sick.
Speaker 1: Yep. Then that's when they really know what's going on.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then it's like amputated, like you can't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they have to offer offer themselves to the experimentation. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh god.
Speaker 3: Every episode.
Speaker 1: Let's see three cop cars just sitting in that parking lot. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's because we're right across from the police department. Oh.
Speaker 1: For a second, I was like, what the fuck.
Speaker 4: No, they just donated them to the Goodwill. They're parked
Speaker 4: in front of That's how people get these used cop
Speaker 4: cars there.
Speaker 3: I was driving around in Okay.
Speaker 1: Next question.
Speaker 7: Next question Steven, continuing on the Tom Hanks front, since
Speaker 7: this is from not My Dumbster, since our beloved Tom
Speaker 7: Hanks is currently quarantined. This was from a week ago.
Speaker 7: What is his best and worst movie?
Speaker 4: Well, I'm someone that loved as a kid The Man
Speaker 4: with One Red Shoe. Well, yeah, I doubt a lot
Speaker 4: of people have even seen it. I have him acting
Speaker 4: silly and being ridiculous and falling down and being the comedian.
Speaker 4: The comedic actor. Tom Hanks is my favorite. I'm one
Speaker 4: of the few people, along with the Matrix or whatever,
Speaker 4: I was not in the Forrest Gump.
Speaker 1: I just it's stupid.
Speaker 4: Yeah, where he's running and inventing bumper stickers, I'll guess
Speaker 4: it happens.
Speaker 1: It's terrible.
Speaker 4: I love Tom Hanks, but I'm not a fan of
Speaker 4: Forrest Cump. So your answer is I want to see
Speaker 4: when I get home.
Speaker 3: The Man with One Red Shoe. Okay, we all know
Speaker 3: Big is the best.
Speaker 4: I love Big. There's an extended version. I just watched
Speaker 4: it the other day. Hey, I live and breathe. I
Speaker 4: love the guy and I love Big and the Man
Speaker 4: with Mine Mine needs to be revisited. Also has Jim Belushi,
Speaker 4: America's I'm just kidding, but he's in it.
Speaker 3: He's like young Jim Belushi's his buddy. They play softball together.
Speaker 2: And so Forst Gump is bad? Yes, and show Yeah
Speaker 2: and Big because I think, oh and Big. Well, if
Speaker 2: it's hard to pick, I was going to say, right
Speaker 2: off the dome, the money Pit is one of my favorite.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah that movie is It used to be on.
Speaker 2: Cinemax all the time. Yeah, Dian from Teers, Shelley Long,
Speaker 2: Shelley La. And it's so funny and crazy. There's a
Speaker 2: ton of great physical comedy in it. Verbs is great,
Speaker 2: it's a confused Verbs is great, but it's money Pit
Speaker 2: is when they buy the mansion and then everything goes wrong,
Speaker 2: which is just frustrated. Tom Hanks is the funniest. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and also Splash, So I'm gonna pick those are my
Speaker 2: top two. Tom Hanks, it's so good.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He loves her so much and always has.
Speaker 3: Do you have a least favorite?
Speaker 2: It's also Forrest Gump. I think that thing is a
Speaker 2: gigantic piece of It is a.
Speaker 3: Big forest dump in your lamp.
Speaker 1: All the people in it were amazing and I love
Speaker 1: them all. But it was garbage, Oh Frans, Gary, Sanise,
Speaker 1: soul garbage.
Speaker 3: It was a trash bin of a film. Okay, gotta
Speaker 3: wash your hands after you watch that thing.
Speaker 1: Trash bin and filth.
Speaker 7: All right, we're gonna finish this Tom Hanks trilogy. Nice
Speaker 7: at Kanzos Underscore seventy five to seven. How many days
Speaker 7: would you last isolated at home before going full Tom
Speaker 7: Hanks and castaway.
Speaker 3: I yeah, it remains to be seen.
Speaker 4: I was surprised that I immediately was like, well, time
Speaker 4: to make my apartment look good and get on more
Speaker 4: of a schedule. As far as waking up early than
Speaker 4: I am or ever I'm on usually, I really milk
Speaker 4: the clock. I've been waking up at seven thirty and
Speaker 4: skating at underground garages with my new pals. I'm trying
Speaker 4: more than ever to have a schedule because there's nothing else.
Speaker 4: An income, of course, is the may It's hard not
Speaker 4: to worry about that. But I guess once I know
Speaker 4: I'm broke and they're taking the apartment away, that's when
Speaker 4: I guess I'll just put face paint on and run
Speaker 4: around in my underwear, defriend and deflated ball.
Speaker 2: I feel like, what's very cool is my cousin, Gavin
Speaker 2: Newsome is making sure that because all the states seem
Speaker 2: to be acting independently, so you know, Florida's like, fuck you,
Speaker 2: we're not closing the beaches.
Speaker 1: So that's it's it's dire.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're shoulder to shoulder drinking bud lightline.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Someone on Twitter today called them the super carriers. But
Speaker 1: so I think.
Speaker 2: My point was that I think they're going to enact
Speaker 2: the like rent freezes and all that shit, because it's
Speaker 2: like if no one can work, no one can pay
Speaker 2: the rent, and that that means landlords cannot come in
Speaker 2: and take advantage and just fucking ream people. And they're
Speaker 2: doing that like that's what they're doing in other countries
Speaker 2: and other places. And I think they're moving to get
Speaker 2: it done here. And I think instead of having to
Speaker 2: get it through nationally in like the federal government, because
Speaker 2: there basically isn't one because there's no central leadership anymore,
Speaker 2: I think they're going to do it state by state,
Speaker 2: and it would have to be they would do it
Speaker 2: in California in a second. Yeah, I believe because there
Speaker 2: was already there's already so much housing issues, housing crisis
Speaker 2: that you know, amazing people are already working on solutions
Speaker 2: for that.
Speaker 1: I would hope and believe. I believe that will happen.
Speaker 1: I do too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that is a hopeful, realistic thing. It
Speaker 4: certainly isn't going to happen on a federal level. We
Speaker 4: aren't even get we aren't even get and I get
Speaker 4: paper towels thrown at us.
Speaker 1: We aren't even getting tested.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the other thing. There's Kylie Jenner, I tested negative.
Speaker 3: Great story.
Speaker 1: Where where did you go to the three thousand dollars store?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I guess it's all the people with three thousand dollars store.
Speaker 4: As far as I'm not bragging, but insurance wise, I'm
Speaker 4: as I'm a dream come true.
Speaker 3: I'm fully covered.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you like to tell yourself that, Yeah, I got so.
Speaker 3: I just got.
Speaker 4: The most inexpensive hip replacement. I mean, if out of
Speaker 4: pocket it would have been one hundred grand. That's why
Speaker 4: I think that's the only way I'm rich.
Speaker 1: Is that because you didn't have to pay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I have a rich so yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I've been thinking about it. But we won't worry now
Speaker 4: because you know, anyway would it? I just changed the subject.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, but look, this is the This is
Speaker 1: what's truly scary about all this.
Speaker 2: Aside from the overarching vague what if everyone gets sick thing,
Speaker 2: there is this central like what you know, we can
Speaker 2: all people can be you know, reasonable and stay indoors,
Speaker 2: but like, what's gonna happen? Because people can't just not work?
Speaker 2: And businesses can't just close. We can't just you know,
Speaker 2: like there has to be a future plan and that
Speaker 2: can't be And now you can take out a bunch
Speaker 2: of really high interest rate credit cards, like fuck you.
Speaker 1: We can't have everybody get reamed because this is the
Speaker 1: way things.
Speaker 3: Need to go.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, people are actually trying to take an advantage
Speaker 4: of the situation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we'll see, we'll see.
Speaker 2: I think good things. People are being good to each other.
Speaker 2: I think people are jumping at the chance to be
Speaker 2: good to each other in the days. The way things
Speaker 2: are these days, and how awful this whole country feels sometimes,
Speaker 2: I think people are just like fucking here, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: did you see Christian Siriano, the designer who is an
Speaker 2: amazing dress designer and designs for people for the Oscars
Speaker 2: and the Emmys and all the big award shows, he
Speaker 2: just in me imediately started making masks. That's why I
Speaker 2: was saying that thing about oh you can sew masks
Speaker 2: is he immediately started turning his like all the stuff
Speaker 2: he has available to him, and just like, we'll start
Speaker 2: making him right now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I gotta figure out what I can do. I've
Speaker 4: been giving some of the Starbucks cards to people.
Speaker 3: I hope that's.
Speaker 4: Just like I don't have changed, but they have sandwiches
Speaker 4: at Starbucks. It's amazing how many people in my neighborhood
Speaker 4: like ome less folks. Now they're like, oh, yeah, I've
Speaker 4: had their wraps.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you're good, right, I mean, look, so
Speaker 1: not a.
Speaker 3: Bunch, but I've handed out a few. I don't know,
Speaker 3: but I think that's good. I saw it.
Speaker 1: Just be good to people.
Speaker 3: That's all I've been. Yeah, I am, I'm getting cast
Speaker 3: away in that.
Speaker 4: The answer to question, I'm starting with not using toilet paper,
Speaker 4: but it against using leaves, much like he did on
Speaker 4: the island.
Speaker 3: But it's my dying house plants. I got to remember
Speaker 3: to water those guys.
Speaker 1: Also, you have toilet paper.
Speaker 3: I do have a little. I'm sort of not wasting it.
Speaker 1: You know. You just want to wait and see we
Speaker 1: I open. Who's open.
Speaker 4: It depends on the movement. A taco place, Oh boy,
Speaker 4: that would be surprising. I guess if they serve food
Speaker 4: out a window already.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, I think that's what people are starting to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The Dollar store by my house just put up a
Speaker 4: giant sneeze guard like a plastic and there's a little
Speaker 4: hole in it's smart.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there was a dollar store we just drove by
Speaker 2: and there was all kinds of rolls of toilet paper
Speaker 2: in the window.
Speaker 1: And I almost stopped the car because I need to
Speaker 1: buy two. Yeah, me too, it's crazy. Then maybe another day.
Speaker 4: So should we say something conclusive and then continue to
Speaker 4: a part two.
Speaker 1: Of more Q and A yeah, because this is long
Speaker 1: ass already.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, this has been a long ass. Thanks for
Speaker 3: sticking with our long asses.
Speaker 4: Hey, we're going by Stinkers stinker who everyone, I'm a liar,
Speaker 4: skunk gasses.
Speaker 3: It does seem like something made up.
Speaker 1: It's it's like something you specifically would make up.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I could get accused of something and coerced during
Speaker 4: an interrogation. I know I could because I thought when
Speaker 4: you guys were like no way, I'm like, yeah, maybe
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 1: My experience doesn't count.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess that I did kill a bunch of people.
Speaker 3: On that note, Yay, you've been listening. Do you need
Speaker 3: a ride? Part one?
Speaker 1: Part one?
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening, everybody, and don't freak out. You're gonna
Speaker 2: be okay. We're all gonna be okay, stay safe, don't
Speaker 2: do weird errands. Don't as I was doing the other
Speaker 2: day in the rain, climbing a ladder to clean out
Speaker 2: the gutter that seemed a little too full, and then
Speaker 2: halfway up the ladder, I was like, what the fuck.
Speaker 1: Am I doing, especially in the rain.
Speaker 2: In the rain, basically welcoming a bad accident that would
Speaker 2: send me to a hospital.
Speaker 1: Do everything you can. Just stay healthy and and don't
Speaker 1: fuck around.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've had this infected finger. I'm like, I'll just
Speaker 4: poke it with a needle. No what if it gets infected.
Speaker 4: Just figure out where other ways you can get in
Speaker 4: the hospital.
Speaker 3: And don't do them.
Speaker 1: Don't do them.
Speaker 2: You know what, By when the next time you go
Speaker 2: to the store, By neosporin, by antiseptic things, by rubbing alcohol,
Speaker 2: by hydrogen peroxide, by things so that you can don't
Speaker 2: have infections, or there's all your wounds get healed very quickly. Yeah,
Speaker 2: take vitamin take a lysine, it's good for your cell regeneration.
Speaker 4: Take vitamin E, and in general, try and cut down
Speaker 4: on those household wills.
Speaker 1: Stop cutting. We love you.
Speaker 3: You've been listening to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 1: D y n Ar hawk at this bus. I leave
Speaker 1: it on you way bad.
Speaker 3: Next time on?
Speaker 4: Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: Is that toilet paper or is it looks like it's
Speaker 3: bathroom tissue? Yeah, you guys. Should we pull over and
Speaker 3: get some I need some toilet I do too,