WEBVTT - Miss Emily Meade: Growing Up, Speaking Out, and Showing Up 0:00:08.840 --> 0:00:13.080 Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio. 0:00:12.320 --> 0:00:18.599 Podcast Emily mean, yes, are you a masochist? 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:19.680 Ooh good question. 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:26.960 I'm obviously a masochist because I continuously put myself in painful, 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:33.760 painful situations over and over, so like I must be emotionally. 0:00:34.000 --> 0:00:37.360 I'm asking you because this is like hitting me on 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:42.120 a personal level as well. Do you think that is masochism? 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:47.600 Emotional or like family trauma that's not dealt with this? 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:52.360 The second one, you're right, Wow, you're Are you a 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:53.040 little psychic? 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:57.280 I think, yeah? Are you? 0:00:56.520 --> 0:01:00.680 Yeah, you're very I'm very cures sat out the book 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:03.360 you were showing on Instagram. Oh there you go? Yeah, okay, 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:06.240 yeah I am. Yes, I'm trying to deal with that 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:10.280 because I actually think my lack of control over it 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.640 is fucking with my life. But yes, I think it 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:17.640 is the trauma and the pain being familiar more than it. 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:20.600 Maybe that's why I'm zero massacre because I feel like 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:24.600 people who are massacrests like maybe they don't didn't have 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:27.160 that much pain, and so like pain is exciting and 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:29.399 they need to create it For me. I'm like, I 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:32.480 don't I have a well of pain just waiting at 0:01:32.520 --> 0:01:36.319 any given moment, I don't need to like be whatever, 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:38.360 hit at whatever, whatever it. 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:42.120 Is, right, No, no, no, I agree, I don't. I 0:01:42.160 --> 0:01:45.399 feel like on from my perspective, for me, it's not 0:01:45.680 --> 0:01:49.840 as obvious from the outside. Maybe emotional trauma. I don't 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:52.680 know if it goes back to just the world I 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:56.480 was born into more than just like actual from my family, 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:00.800 being born in Hollywood and just like that everything focused 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:04.240 so hyper focused since I was born, and not having 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:05.880 that lack of control of how to even go back 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:09.040 and fix that. But you started this business so young, 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:10.560 you have that as well. 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:12.720 Yeah, no, idea, I wasn't born. 0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:15.240 The trauma of being born in I imagine is like 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:18.440 a whole world that I do not envy as much 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:21.959 as people are assholes about it and think it's enviable. 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:25.799 I imagine it is more not than it is. Even 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:28.520 if there's like perks, I feel like those perks come 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:29.120 at a cost. 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:30.280 But yes, I. 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:32.200 Started young, and I didn't think I started young. I 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:33.839 started at eighteen, and I thought I was like, Wow, 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:35.720 it's porty too late. Now I'm like, what a. 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:39.000 Little baby like you should have waited, you should have 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:42.320 protected yourself longer. I thought you started younger. Why did 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:43.960 I think you started like twelve thirteen. 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:50.960 Everybody thinks, Okay, I did a weird Italian singing contest 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:54.280 and that exists on the internet, so people are like, oh, 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:57.040 and then I did. I like started modeling at fifteen, 0:02:57.120 --> 0:03:00.160 and I did one weird indie movie then, and I 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.000 wanted to like performing our high school. But I didn't 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:05.160 like get an agent and start auditioning as an actor until. 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:09.880 I was eighteen. Okay, still a baby, tiny baby. I 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:11.440 didn't realize at the time, but yes. 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:16.160 My oldest child is eighteen and my second oldest is 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:19.080 a daughter, so I'm like hyper focused on her because 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:22.160 I'm like, oh my god, me at eighteen it was 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:26.400 just such a different world. But it's like they're such babies, 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:30.080 and I never thought of it that way. Like when 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:32.359 we were working so young, it was like just. 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:36.160 You saw you were an adult, and you know that 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:38.440 feeling when you're eighteen amongst adults and you really think 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.480 you're tricking everyone into thinking you're there. 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:45.240 Eight You're like that, yeah, you want so badly to 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:45.839 fit in. 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:49.840 Yeah, oh my god, I excelted. Yeah, you don't realize that. 0:03:49.920 --> 0:03:51.320 It's it's when. 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:53.520 You're eighteen it's transparent that you're even if you're like 0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:56.800 the smartest, why is this eighteen year old You simply 0:03:56.800 --> 0:04:00.000 have not experienced enough life to know certain things. 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:03.520 And I feel like you give in to so much 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:07.400 more to want to have that acceptance. At least that 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:12.000 was my experience just and I mean you've talked a 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:15.800 lot about this obviously, and such an advocate for women 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:21.440 and on set, but you know, being eighteen and the 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.000 boys were all joking around, I wanted to be fitting 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:26.120 so bad and I was like, you know, and they 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:29.400 weren't doing anything wrong, but on a set primarily filled 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:32.599 with men back then in the nineties, it was like 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:34.960 I just thought my inn. 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.120 Was always like what was I wearing? How did I look? 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:40.680 Was my you know? Oh everyone said my like my 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:43.599 waist was so tiny, like oh yay, why didn't they 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:45.240 look at my boobs today? Like it was just like 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:48.960 over and over. You're so conditioned to think like that's 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:52.000 the acceptance and it wasn't. I'm just going back to 0:04:52.000 --> 0:04:53.800 our eighteen year old self. So sorry, I'm not sweeting 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:55.240 on your behat here, but no. 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:57.120 No, I agree. It all resonates. 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:00.159 I look back now and I'm like, oh, I'm just 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:04.080 finding and obviously I'm way older than you, but I'm 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:07.960 just learning to be like, wait, I'm actually really smart. 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:12.200 There's value there. I'm funny, I'm smart, Like you know, 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:14.320 there's the physical, but it's just it's more than that. 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:17.479 And I never understood that then that that was useful. 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:22.120 Yeah, that's so funny because I was obviously in gearing 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:24.640 up for this, I was thinking about you, and I 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:27.200 was thinking about like when I met you, how I 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.320 described you, and I was like, she's actually really funny 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:32.440 and smart. I swear to God, and I'm sure you 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:36.960 like me. That's not the first assumption about you. For me, 0:05:37.000 --> 0:05:39.200 it's less. I think people are more surprised that I'm 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:43.120 like nice and smart, like I think people think I'm 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:47.120 mean and obviously stupid, but stupid in like at and 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:50.839 more like an aloof way, like you're more blondes, maybe 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:54.680 get more like a great. Mine's more like I don't 0:05:54.680 --> 0:06:00.760 speak English. But yes, and for me as well, the 0:06:00.839 --> 0:06:06.560 discovery of that I'm smart but a was a big husband, 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:08.880 or that I have value outside of not just beauty 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:12.719 but talent, like just as a human being, having nothing 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:15.719 to do with that this industry and what I have 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:19.760 to offer. It has been important life saving, really. 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:24.520 Understood and for the listeners. We met Emily and I 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:27.440 met on the set of Mother May Sleep with Danger. 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:30.280 Second rendition of it, You've the Champion. 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:34.719 Rendition, which the og one was in the nineties, and 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:38.480 I played the daughter stocked in college by her lover 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.479 and like her mom saves her and it was a 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:44.159 big Lifetime. It became like a cult classic, and I 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:49.160 think primarily because of the title. And then I got 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:53.200 the call literally one day. I can't unhear it. It 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:57.040 was the craziest call of my life. I was driving 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:59.400 to set and I got a call from my agent 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:01.640 and she was like, we have an offer for you 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:06.400 and Lifetime and James Franco are remaking Mother May Sleep 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:10.280 with Danger and he is reimagining it. And I was like, wait, 0:07:11.320 --> 0:07:14.000 you just said Lifetime. You just said James Franco. And 0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:16.160 then she's like, and wait, it's going to be a 0:07:16.280 --> 0:07:18.560 vampire lesbian movie. 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:21.280 And I was like, there's just like. 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:24.960 A long pause and my brain was trying to like 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:28.160 grasp all of the things she just said. And then 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:31.400 I was like, okay, I'm in, Like, I mean, you 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:32.440 can't turn that down. 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:35.600 Yeah, that's that's how I felt. I was told to 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:40.840 turn it down. But you guys don't get it, clearly 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:41.440 don't get it. 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:43.440 Yeah. 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:47.280 And it's interesting because I feel like, at least for me, 0:07:48.480 --> 0:07:54.160 we never really have talked about that experience. We actually after. 0:07:54.520 --> 0:07:56.200 I mean, you filmed a lot more than I did, 0:07:56.320 --> 0:08:00.520 but I just played the mom But I felt like 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:03.400 we didn't connect to like the very end. Yeah, and 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:05.320 then I felt the same way about you. I was like, 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:07.080 oh my gosh, I feel like we have the same 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:08.920 dark humor. Like I feel like we get each other. 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:10.200 And I was like, we. 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:11.160 Have to keep in touch. 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:16.360 And yeah, I probably had the same thing coming onto 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:16.720 that set. 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:16.880 Well. 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:19.120 I was scared of everybody coming onto that set because 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:22.440 it was such like I just felt like, oh my god, 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:25.760 James Franco is making this movie, Like do I even 0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:26.360 belong here? 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:27.680 What does he think of me? What is it? 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:29.640 There was so much going on in my head and 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:35.400 you and Laila were so great and I and yeah, 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:37.520 I was just like trying to fit in. And but 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:39.480 I probably was scared of you at first too. I 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:41.600 mean you were playing the vampire at last week. 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:42.360 Yeah, that's scared. 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:46.560 Yeah, you're like a larger than life. Yeah, I'm sure 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:47.880 a lot of people don't even think of you as 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:49.560 like a human because you're such an me. 0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:52.600 Yeah, like I'm scared to work with you. 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:54.800 That's always how it works. 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:58.320 Yeah yeah, yeah, of course, Like I would never think 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:01.040 that about me. But you're like, not you're a You're 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:04.079 you've become beyond human kind of, you're like immortal. 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:08.080 Yeah, well you're a compliment. 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:10.800 Yeah, it's a comment, but I also say it with 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:14.240 like empathy for like that's probably horrible, you know, like 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:18.160 that people are not fully seeing you as a human, 0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:20.360 which is why it's so cool to get to connect 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:26.240 with someone who's like a symbol at this point sort 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:29.600 of and then you're like, oh yeah, the human and 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.199 that's always really nice. And I think we all need 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:35.480 that when people like don't see us fully. I think 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:40.400 any actor, any performer is like ultimately, that's why people 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:43.440 can like, you know, say discusting things about us to 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:45.360 us whatever on the email, because it's like it's not 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:48.480 a human, right and we're supposed to just take it 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:52.840 and just yeah, I mean people, it's just you're not 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:55.240 a human. Like I almost I can separate myself in 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:56.760 the way of like you're not seeing me as if 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:58.280 I came into your living room. 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:01.360 It's I don't you do remember the movie nodding Hill? 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:04.480 Yeah, and like when Julie they hear like the guys 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:04.839 being like. 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:07.880 And she goes over. It's like, I bet your. 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:11.600 Dicks are tiny, like you know, like that's true like 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:14.760 people and they freak out. It's like, yeah, we're one 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:17.959 dimensional to people until we're in their presence. 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:21.520 Oh my, that's a T shirt. I'm not one dimensional. 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:26.000 Yeah, no for sure. And so you came on sorry 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:26.720 kind of segue. 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:28.240 You never know air. 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:32.360 No, no, I do. I go every which way. That's 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:34.720 how my brain works too, and then I'll come back 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:39.760 to where Yeah, that's so inches Sorry okay, So yes, 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:41.960 so we met on that movie. Wait, how did that 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:45.000 movie come about? Had you already done the Deuce? 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:47.880 Yes, it was it was between the first and maybe 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:49.920 it's between the pilot and the first season. 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:51.120 Because we had that's right, that's what he told me. 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:54.679 Yes, yes, I met James through and I didn't even 0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:55.120 get a call. 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.280 I just got anyone. 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.760 I mean, I'm sure many people have emails like this 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:02.240 from James Franco of just like in the subject high 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:06.360 it's James, and then like one sentence of like this, 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:09.600 I want you to be in this movie you play Pearl, 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:11.040 Like that's it. 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:11.439 Really? 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:14.240 Yeah, it was like that, and then I sent it 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:16.079 to my like but yes, it was. We had done 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:18.559 the pilot of the Juice at that point. 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:24.160 Yeah, okay, so you get that email. How do you 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:25.319 say no. 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:28.320 Like did you eat? What do you say? Could you 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:29.839 even read a script? Or you're like. 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:34.840 No, I mean I obviously on paper there was plenty 0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:36.319 of reasons jes say no. 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:41.160 Wait in the email, did he tell you the concept? 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:44.520 Yeah, but it was not like the way he writes 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:48.800 these emails are it's very rudimentary. It's like very He's 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:50.520 not He's an intelligent per but it's a little bit 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.600 elementary school level. It's just that it's like this is 0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:56.280 what I think you know, Like so it was like 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:59.200 it's a lesbian vampire. I don't There was no like 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:03.000 awareness of like the irony or the subversion of it. 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:06.080 It was just like very simple facts. Got it. 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:10.280 I've read it, and my agents at the time were like, you, 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:16.080 obviously this is a path and I was like, actually 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:20.800 to me, yeah, I mean I think that's another thing. 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:23.480 That it's different if you're actually in it versus watching it. 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:27.400 It's like this industry is so horrifying in so many ways, 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:29.120 and there's so much bullshit and all the things people 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:32.320 think is art, there's like still so much evil in 0:12:32.840 --> 0:12:35.240 manipulation behind. So it's like, yeah, I want to do 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:40.200 something that's like actively bad, like actively fuck you to 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:43.200 like what is supposed to be art and good and 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:48.600 like that's a bucket like to be in a lifetime movie. 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:51.160 It's so over the top, it's so ridiculous. 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:51.680 Yeah. 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:54.520 Yeah, to me, it was a must. To them, it 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:58.880 was like are you okay right? Of course no. 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:03.200 I I remember my agents were like okay. I'm like 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:05.240 obviously it's an end for me, but like I'm gonna 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.360 say yes. And they're like, well, you know, James just 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:10.160 wants to do a call with you and like just 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:11.000 talk to you about it. 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.800 And I was like okay, So I like tried. 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:15.600 He was like on set or something I had like 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:17.520 and they were like, you know, when he can do it, 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:19.440 they were like, he has a free moment. I was 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:22.120 like hiding from my kids in my closet. I'm like okay, 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:24.720 And I talked to him and I was like such 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:26.600 a fan. I was trying to be like super cool, 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:29.360 and he was like, you know the Will Ferrell movie, 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:32.000 you know, the Lifetime it's supposed to be overtly like 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:34.520 and yeah, he gave me like the few senses and 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:37.080 I was just like, oh, yeah that sounds It was 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:38.520 obviously a yes, but I was like, yeah, that. 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:39.360 Sounds really cool. 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:42.320 But I was like I got the vision and I 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.360 got like what it should be. I still don't know 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:47.400 if Lifetime viewers got it. 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.680 I don't imagine did it do well. I'm like, like, 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:53.800 I don't feel like. 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:54.960 It didn't do well. 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.320 Yeah, they were like what is this? 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:02.280 Yeah it was I I've never really I've heard like 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.760 a few, like I've gotten a few messages or whatever 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:07.360 about it, but yeah, I don't I don't know if 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:11.000 it was clear. It's also I mean, when you watch it, 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:13.920 like it could be like fifteen minutes long instead of 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:16.640 a full movie, Like it's sort of just like a 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:20.200 music video over and over of like vampires Walking, which 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:23.680 is funny and great, but like I could want to 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:26.120 watch the whole thing necessarily. 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:28.600 Yeah, I feel like, in my opinion as a fan 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:32.080 and viewer, it didn't push it far enough to be 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:36.720 that kind of absurdity that you're like, waity, and I 0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:39.480 think that's part now when you were filming it, at least, 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:41.800 this is what they told me, that they were doing 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:46.400 two versions, two cuts, because they were going to air it. No, sorry, 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:48.840 there was a lifetime version and then a version they 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:50.400 were going to put in the theaters. 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:53.280 I don't even remember. It's possible they said that, but 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:55.880 like I've been lied to so much, like I don't 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:59.200 even I'm like, yeah, maybe, I don't remember. 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.680 So they were doing like a more edgy like they 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:02.160 were gonna do. 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:04.240 An edgy this is I was like, this is gonna 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:07.040 go to theater, okay, but I was like, okay, I'm 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:09.080 with you. It's James Franco, Like, you know, you can 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:13.320 get a theatrical release obviously. Yeah, it was gonna be 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:16.320 edgier and push the limits. And I don't know if 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:23.240 that involved dialogue or nudity, Like there was definitely scenes 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:26.800 that they I was told they were shooting two versions. 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:27.680 Yeah. 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:31.680 Interesting, maybe, I mean, at no point did we show 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.680 are like a boobs or anything. I thought the sex 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:37.040 scene I remember, because yeah, the sex scene between Leila 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:38.680 and I that on lifetime. 0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:40.240 I thought was like it was like because. 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:43.800 It's like embarrassing long and this, and there's like there's 0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:46.440 something about the detail of me, like moving my hand 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:47.200 in a certain way. 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:50.920 I'm like, it's so embarrassing. So to me, it was 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:53.080 pretty an intent. 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:56.040 Different like yeah, and I don't, I don't. We had 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:58.920 like the things on our nipples the whole time, like, 0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:01.400 so I don't. I don't remember shooting it. I just 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:03.200 remember shooting it like a sex scene. 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:05.800 And then it seemed it's epically long. 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:11.960 I feel like that's it's really long. Yeah, I wonder 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:14.480 if they've changed it since the original airing, if they ever. 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:16.920 Yeah, I probably only saw it that time. 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:20.240 And was there an intimacy coach then? 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.120 No? Right before that was before? 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:27.760 Yeah, okay, So do you feel like if you had 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:30.680 to go back and they obviously everyone gets an intimacy 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:33.280 coach now, would you have asked for one on that movie? 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:35.640 I would have asked for one. I mean that's why 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:37.920 anything we've ever did what. 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:40.360 I did with it of making it things, because it's 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:45.480 it wasn't until me too, that I even realized how 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:48.760 how it has been for all of us. And but 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:51.680 so yeah, all of all of my experiences leading up 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:56.600 to my position with intimacy coordinators, I should have had 0:16:56.600 --> 0:17:00.840 an intimacy coordinator. And yeah, my first sex scene before eighteen, 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:02.600 when I was modeling I did movie. My first sex 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:06.159 ever was at sixteen, and even that it was like 0:17:06.200 --> 0:17:09.400 the guy just had a sock on his dick, like 0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:11.880 there was and it was like it was a rape 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:14.919 scene too, which is an interesting way to like start. 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:17.960 But yeah, I I've had sex scenes that weren't like 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:22.800 nothing bad happened, but I think there should have a Yeah, 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:25.280 there was, there were ones where bad things happened, and 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.800 just in general, like there was nothing bad in the 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:33.720 Leyla and I seem per se, but it was It's 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:36.760 still like a lot and you can't objectively see, you 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:40.159 can't objectively really make decisions while you're in that space. 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:49.600 I haven't done a sex scene in so long, I 0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:50.399 don't even remember. 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:54.520 Do you wish you had had intimacy coordinators? No? 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:56.840 Oh, I'm just kidding. 0:17:58.800 --> 0:17:59.159 I don't know. 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:02.440 Well, a lot of women are pretty mad about it. 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:04.600 A lot of people think I have a title tale. 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:10.520 Yeah no, no, no, yeah, yeah, I mean I don't feel 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:15.120 like any in my experience alone, anything has gone too far. 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:15.760 There was some. 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:22.159 I was more comfortable with certain people than others, and 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:25.440 I guess for that reason, yeah, I'd want. 0:18:25.240 --> 0:18:26.240 It to be less. 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:30.600 Do you ever feel now that, I mean, you've spoken 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:33.160 up so much about it and I have been such 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:37.119 an advocate. Now moving forward with your career, does it 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:39.720 somehow take you out of the scene when you're in 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:41.240 it having someone there or do. 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:42.200 You feel well? 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:44.720 The fucked up part is I think it fucked with 0:18:44.760 --> 0:18:46.520 my career to the point I have not worked with 0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:48.280 an intimacy coordinator since. 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:52.800 Really, yeah, yeah, I definitely. 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:53.960 Think it did. It did some damage. 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:57.720 I don't regret it, but it's I've worked the least 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:00.840 I have in my entire career since that, to the 0:19:00.920 --> 0:19:04.919 point that I have not. I have not worked with 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:09.520 an intimacy coordinator since creating co Create whatever the intimacy coordinator. 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:12.359 So I don't know. I don't know what it would 0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:13.960 be like. I know that's not true. 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:17.960 Alicia Rhodis, who was the first ever intimacy coordinator who 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:19.960 we worked with on The Juice, I did work with 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:23.879 her one more time recently on the Penguin because I 0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:26.119 was the mother and there was kids and I'm like 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:28.600 cuddling them and like, right, so I was. 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:29.280 I was. 0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:33.280 One they were watching. 0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:35.760 Exactly so that but that didn't really count because it 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:38.600 was not a sexual scene. And obviously when she asked 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:40.239 them if they were comfortable, they were twelve year old, 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:44.480 but they were like yeah, it wasn't really a complicated situation. 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:49.240 Although I still am always afraid of like accidentally traumatizing 0:19:49.359 --> 0:19:52.520 a child, but it was pretty it was pretty changing 0:19:52.840 --> 0:19:53.440 the cuddles. 0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:55.800 Any child in this business is going to be traumatized. 0:19:55.960 --> 0:20:00.840 Sure, Yeah, I just don't want to be a part 0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:03.640 of I don't want to be abide him. Yeah. 0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:08.240 I am a huge fan of your Instagram, which sounds 0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:13.640 creepy but it's not. And I often find myself thinking like, well, 0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:16.000 if I didn't know her personally, like would I be 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:18.600 as engrossed with your Instagram? And the answer is yes, 0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:24.800 a thousand percent like I And I mean, I know 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:27.960