WEBVTT - Mary’s Journey 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:04.480 Oh Lato is I'm Gini Montaro. I'm senior producer for 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:07.920 Futuro Studios and also moonlight occasionally for a Latino USA. 0:00:08.600 --> 0:00:10.920 I've been with the company since twenty sixteen, and I 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:15.200 actually started as our company's engineer. I love all things 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:17.279 audio and sound design, which means when I go to 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:20.279 write stories, I'm always thinking about fun ways to play 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:23.520 with effects and music, because how you hear a story 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:26.520 makes a difference. The newsroom at Futuru was a breath 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:28.480 of fresh air from the news spaces that I was 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:31.720 used to working in. People like me with beaten two 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:35.960 worlds and two languages. It felt like home. Happy anniversary 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:40.240 Latino USA, Gerrace Porto, and thank you listener for celebrating 0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:40.839 with us. 0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:45.040 This is Latino USA, the radio journal of News and 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:46.480 Kurturre Latino USA. 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:49.840 Latin Latino USA. I'm Mariainojosa. 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:53.760 We bring you stories that are underreported but that mattered to. 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:55.840 You, overlooked by the rest of the media. 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:57.520 And while the country is struggling. 0:00:57.040 --> 0:00:59.040 To deal with these week listen to the stories of 0:00:59.120 --> 0:00:59.960 Black and Latino. 0:01:00.400 --> 0:01:02.040 A United Latino. 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:06.520 Front, a cultural renaissance organizing at the forefront of the movement. 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:14.080 I'm Maria ino Josa nose Bayan Gerido Igerida Radio Escucca. 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:18.240 Before we start, a quick warning there's explicit language in 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:21.039 this episode. Okay, here we go. 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:24.720 The calls can come at any time of the day, 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:31.640 multiple times a day. Sometimes it's early in the morning 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:35.000 when Mary Strata is getting ready for her administrative job 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:39.720 with the County of Los Angeles. Oftentimes it's during her 0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:42.919 lunch break, when she's eating alone in the car looking 0:01:42.959 --> 0:01:47.400 for some privacy. And usually it's in the evenings as well, 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:50.440 while she's at home in Pomona, a suburb east of 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:54.160 Los Angeles, where she lives with her sister and her dog, Coco, 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:55.680 a nervous wife poodle. 0:01:57.080 --> 0:02:00.520 When the phone rings, everything stops for Mary. 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:04.560 You have a prepaid call from an inmate at the 0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:08.560 Honatory Town of and Correctional Facility, San Diego, California. 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:11.560 It's her husband, Robert, calling from prison. 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:15.160 Mary has been picking up his phone calls and paying 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:17.519 for them for forty years. 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:22.400 And recorded hello, Hello, Hi baby good. 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:26.320 Even though she's not the one who's incarcerated, prison rules 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:30.200 Mary's life too. She lives on her husband's schedule, and 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:33.240 so do thousands of other women in the United States 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:35.240 whose partners are in prison. 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:43.120 From vudrou Media and pr X It's Latino USA. I'm 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:47.800 Maria Nohosa Today. Mary's Journey an intimate look at the 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:51.800 financial and emotional burden that women carry when they have 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:59.799 a loved one in prison. One in four women one 0:02:59.840 --> 0:03:03.200 in four in the United States have a family member 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:07.520 in prison, and those carrying this financial and emotional weight 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:18.079 are disproportionately women who are not white. While over ninety 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:22.560 percent of the prison population are men. It's women who 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:27.360 end up spending billions of dollars every year on phone calls, 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:33.520 prison store accounts, and in person visits. Mary Estrada is 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:36.400 one of these women. She's been taking care of her husband, 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:40.360 Robert for forty years, as he's been in and out 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:45.640 of prison throughout his adult life. Latino USA Senior producer 0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:49.040 Marta Martinez, who you heard at the top of our show, 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:53.920 spent a Sunday with Mary in February as Mary drove 0:03:54.000 --> 0:03:57.760 from Pomona, a suburb of Los Angeles, all the way 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:00.240 to San Diego in order to visit her husban been 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:03.680 in prison. This is what a regular Sunday looks like 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:07.200 for Mary and for so many other women whose partners 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:08.360 are incarcerated. 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:12.400 Here's Martha with our story. 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:19.960 Oh, good morning, how are you Macarty? That's fine. 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:22.400 You wouldn't tell how early in the morning it is. 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:25.719 By the way Mary Estrada looks, she has a perfect 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:29.599 blowout with some waves framing her round, delicately made up face. 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:32.240 It is cold, yeah, very cold. 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:35.160 I can hardly see her dark eyes under the extra 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:37.120 large eyelash extensions. 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:41.120 So today is Sunday. It is six forty one in 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:44.719 the morning. We're in Pomona, California, leaving my house to 0:04:44.800 --> 0:04:48.160 go visit my husband in San Diego and R. J. 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:49.240 Donovan prison. 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:53.320 Mary is fifty seven years old and she's been with 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:57.400 Robert Estrada since they were teenagers. She started visiting her 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:01.320 husband in prison some forty years ago. Robert has been 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:03.760 in and out of prison all of his adult life. 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:08.320 This is what most weekends look like for Mary. On Saturdays, 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:11.520 she gets on a video call with Robert. On Sundays, 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:14.400 she drives one hundred and thirty five miles each way 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:15.640 to see him in prison. 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:19.960 So this is my ritual when I go see my husband. 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:22.200 Sack out to get about three o'clock in the morning, 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.200 just to make sure I get there on time. If 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:30.520 there's no traffic. Because I'm drive fast, I get there 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:34.080 about I would say an hour and twenty minutes. But 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:35.920 if I go with the speed limit, I'll get there 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:38.799 in two hours. So today I'll go with the speed limit. 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:44.960 Robert is currently being held at Richard J. Donovan Correctional 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:48.479 Facility in San Diego, where he's serving a forty two 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:51.120 year sentence involving the use of a gun during a 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:55.679 robbery and voluntary manslaughter. We won't get into details about 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:58.280 his case because that's not what this story is about. 0:05:59.279 --> 0:06:02.520 It isn't about the harsh experience of being incarcerated either, 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:05.760 and we're not trying to undermine their reality or. 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:08.240 Compare with that of their partners outside. 0:06:08.760 --> 0:06:12.279 Robert has served eleven years so far, and he's expected 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:15.400 to stay in prison until at least twenty thirty seven. 0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:20.080 Mary is wearing what she calls her prison clothes. Dress 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:24.200 code is very strict for prison visitors. The California Department 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:30.040 of Corrections and Rehabilitation, or CDCR, advises to dress conservatively 0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:34.679 and modestly, which means no short skirts, no tight pants, 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:38.880 no blue jeans or hair extensions. Mary wears an airy 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:42.279 white dress with some embroidered flowers below the knee and 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:43.680 a black V shaped sweater. 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:46.800 On her chest hangs a silver crucifix. 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:51.200 Her nails are extra long and Barbie pink with glitter 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:53.080 butterflies on her ring fingers. 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:54.000 Nails look great. 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:57.720 Oh thank you. I took them off for like about 0:06:57.960 --> 0:07:02.320 two weeks and in type and I told my husband. 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:05.400 She said, oh, you're working on a car again. He 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:07.800 caused my hands. My candleccounts when I don't have nails on. 0:07:08.800 --> 0:07:11.120 But yeah, I have to have my nails on. I 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:17.360 think I'm a diva. I mean, you can't lose yourself 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:20.800 to this life. It's like you still have to get 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:23.400 up and get ready. I mean, I was brought up 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:25.400 that way. You'll never catch me walking out of my 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:27.760 house not made up. It's like I have to have 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:30.520 my hair done, my makeup. You never know if you 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:34.040 get into a car accident. You don't want to look ugly. 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:35.640 Tell me about your tachoo. 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:38.440 So I have a tattoo on my chest with his name. 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:41.440 It's a better Hawaiian flowers on the left side of 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:43.760 her chest with Robert's name on top. 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:44.920 All in black. 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:48.280 Ink, and there's a story behind that. I had covered 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:52.440 his name because we had broken up for a little bit, 0:07:52.600 --> 0:07:55.480 and then we had gotten back together and he said, 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:57.600 why did you cover my name? Put it back on, 0:07:57.760 --> 0:07:59.960 and I said, no, I'm not a cow. I don't 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:03.520 need to be branded. And then he said, no, to 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:06.280 have my name by your heart means a lot. So 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.840 I put his name back by my heart. Yeah. My 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:11.080 husband too. He has my name all over his body 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:13.040 and he has a couple of portraits of me. 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:15.880 Mary says she wants to cover the tattoo on her 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:18.600 chest again and have Robert's name next to her color 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:20.120 bone on the right side. 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:22.440 But I'm not going to get it big because because 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:24.640 of work, I work with the public. 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:29.040 After many years working as an accountant for private companies, 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:32.400 Mary recently started working for the County of Los Angeles. 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.480 She hasn't told her colleagues that Robert is in prison yet. 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:38.960 For Mary, being able to take care of Robert was 0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:41.200 always above any job requirement. 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:44.560 I've always told them during my interviews, I need to 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:47.199 take phone calls when it comes in. There's no way 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:50.200 can I miss those phone calls. And I have to 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:53.120 take certain days off and if you guys can't meet that, 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:55.120 please let me know now, and I won't take the job. 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:58.679 Mary says she turned down at least two jobs for 0:08:58.760 --> 0:09:02.480 that reason already. From the se Justice Group, a nonprofit 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:06.520 supporting women with incarcerated loved ones, found that nearly half 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:08.920 of the women who are taking care of someone in 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:12.600 prison changed their personal plans and careers to support their 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.920 loved ones needs. Many of them end up working more 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:18.840 hours or switching jobs so that they can pick up 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:20.600 their calls or visit them often. 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:23.320 I remember the first time that I went to go 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:25.680 visit them because I've never been with anybody in prison, 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:28.200 and I was nervous because I didn't know what to 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:30.679 expect of it. But once I got through the process 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:32.920 and I was in there with him, it was just 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:34.880 like him and I. I was so happy to see him. 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:37.480 I got to hold his hands, we got to hug, 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:43.520 and we ate together there. The leaving part was hard 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:45.719 for me for a long while because I would leave 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:48.600 there crying. But now it's better, I think, because I've 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:50.880 been doing it for so long, you know, it becomes 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:53.760 like a routine to you. But there's still times we're 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:56.320 all crying because I don't want to leave them behind. 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:00.880 That feeling. I don't think it'll ever go away because 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:04.360 you want to bring them home and you can't. 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:17.760 So tell me what are we looking at? 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:21.000 So we're looking at my photo album on the glass 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:23.880 table in Pomona where Mary lives with her sister and 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:24.400 her dog. 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:26.679 There are three fat photo albums. 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:30.880 This was like one of his first terms, so this 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:34.320 was I want to say, this was falsome. This picture. 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:38.000 Falsom is a prison in northern California, the first one 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:41.520 Robert was incarcerated in as an adult. In the photo, 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:44.680 both Robert and Mary are in their early twenties posing 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:48.199 in front of a metal fence. Mary says. Robert has 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:51.400 been held in all of California's state prisons except for 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:56.000 Valley State Prison in Chowchilla. Falsam is the most beautiful one, 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:58.079 Mary says, because it looks like a castle. 0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:01.520 This is their first visit in a long time, so 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:03.200 I was kind of nervous, but then I was in. 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:06.440 I was just happy to see him. Your curly hair, 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:10.000 my curly hair that's in the eighties, my big hair. 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:12.920 And these are pictures YouTube. 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:16.400 In the prison. Yes, and the visits, Oh my god, 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:17.640 much so many. 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:21.760 There are hundreds of photos in them and they all 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:25.199 look similar. Mary and Robert in a half hag looking 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:28.000 at the camera and smiling, all with a prison in 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:28.679 the background. 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:32.640 He's been in and out of prison all his life. 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:38.680 I don't even recall him being home for two months. 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:43.520 Mary was born in the Philippines, but she grew up 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:46.800 in Los Angeles. She went to high school with Robert's sister. 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:50.680 Robert is two years younger than Mary. They were both 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:53.800 teenagers when they started dating, but they would break up 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:55.280 and get back together often. 0:11:55.720 --> 0:12:00.839 I was a troubled child, rebellious. I didn't complete high school. 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:03.720 I was molested, and it just took a lot out 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:03.960 of me. 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:08.040 Mary started drinking when she was twelve years old. At 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:11.040 the same age, a family member introduced her to drugs. 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:15.839 She smoked PCP or angel dust. She also did cocaine, 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:19.840 acid snorted heroin. She spent two nights in jail for 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:22.360 the first time at the age of eighteen for stealing 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:24.160 clothes at them all, I think. 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:26.400 With the drugs, I just buried my pain in there, 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:29.480 and every time I thought of my childhood, it just, 0:12:29.640 --> 0:12:31.480 you know, it ripped me apart. And it still does. 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.360 Robert's childhood wasn't easy either. 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:40.160 He grew up in the San Fernando Valley, a majority 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:44.720 Latino area. His mother is Mexican, his father is Italian Mexican. 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:49.400 His mother, she had custody of him, but she wasn't nurturing. 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.800 His father introduced him to drugs at the age of ten. 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:57.000 So my husband was like a throwaway kid, and he 0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:00.480 just he grew up in the streets just doing drugs. 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:04.000 Everybody could tell me, why aren't you with him, He's 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:06.520 bad news. Leave him. I didn't see that in him. 0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:08.559 I saw a kind gentleman. 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:13.880 Robert joined a gang, he started selling drugs, doing carjackings, robberies. 0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:16.680 When he was eighteen, he went to prison for the 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:20.120 first time as an adult. He ended up in solitary 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:24.720 confinement for about a week, so they couldn't talk, and 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:28.040 Mary missed him. She says that's the moment she realized 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:29.400 she was in love with him. 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:33.200 I never not had a boyfriend, and with him, it 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:37.880 was just so different. There was a connection that I 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.720 can't even explain. It's like this guy took my heart. 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:43.960 I knew that I was going to be with him 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:45.960 for the rest of my life. Whether he was out 0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:46.880 here or in there. 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:51.120 Mary started spending most of her weekends as an adult 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:54.440 visiting Robert in prison. She would go wherever he was 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:58.040 being held, like Sacramento, which was a nine hour drive 0:13:58.080 --> 0:13:58.559 for Mary. 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:01.559 What would your family or your friend's say. 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:05.320 That I was stupid for doing this journey for visiting him. 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.640 They said that I could do better. But he can't 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:11.640 control what your heart feilds, and this is who my 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:12.320 heart wanted. 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:17.120 Mary's family would organize trips every once in a while 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:22.360 to Hawaii to Memphis to visit Graceland Elvis's house, but 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:24.280 Mary refused to join them. 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:27.280 Because I didn't want to leave my husband behind. He 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:29.240 can't go, So if he can't go, then why am 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:31.640 I going to go. I'm not gonna have fun. I'm 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:34.680 just gonna think about him. So I'd rather be here 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:37.480 with him where I could visit him. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:38.080 and Sunday. 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:41.080 Mary was working three jobs at the time, and she 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.920 would juggle her schedules around so that she could leave early. 0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:47.320 It was always on his schedule. It was about him. 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:51.000 And you know what, ninety nine percent of the prison 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:54.280 community with the wives and the girlfriends are the same way. 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:57.720 We have to get those phone calls, we have to 0:14:57.720 --> 0:14:59.840 get those appointments, we have to see them. 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:03.320 Flipping through the albums, I see a photo where Mary 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:04.600 and Robert are kissing. 0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:07.320 Oh that one. Yeah, that's when kissing was allowed and 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:11.760 now they don't allow it. It's not here's one of us. 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:16.520 Here's one of us making out. Oh who uses that word? God? 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:18.960 It was so long. This isn't in nineteen ninety two, 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:24.880 November ninety two. That's his writing, his nice penmanship. This one. 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:26.080 I was pregnant. 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.960 Mary had her daughter, Samantha, at twenty five years old, 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:33.640 and she gave birth on her own. California is one 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:38.440 of only four states that still allow conjugal visits. For Samantha, 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:41.480 growing up while her dad was in prison was tough. 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:44.360 All she remembers is going to visit him. 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:47.280 There, she because you stole my childhood away from me, 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.560 and I felt bad. I felt bad. She didn't have 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:53.080 a relationship with her dad for a long time. She 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:55.840 hated him. She wouldn't speak to him because of what 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:56.840 he's put me through. 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:05.560 The year nineteen ninety six was a turning point for Mary. 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:10.600 She spent four months in jail on drug charges, Mary 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:13.480 felt the only way she could work on herself and 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:18.560 get sober was to leave Robert, who was still using drugs. 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:20.160 They were apart for. 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:24.440 Ten years, then in two thousand and six, she visited 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:28.080 him in prison and decided to get back together. Things 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:31.040 got better over time with Samantha as well. She has 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:34.240 three children, and Mary says they visit Robert in prison 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:36.440 when they're in California. 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:38.320 Everybody tells me, it's like you put your life on 0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:40.720 hold and it's still on hold. When are you gonna live? 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:43.680 But this is living for me. I can't see my 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:45.560 life without him. Speak of the devil. 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:49.080 While I'm talking to Mary in her home, she gets 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:52.200 one of those phone calls that puts everything on hold. 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.880 Hello, you have a prepaid call from Robert. 0:16:56.840 --> 0:16:59.360 Robert and Mary chat about the problems with the food 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:03.400 sold by the prison cafe. Families could only buy their 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:07.080 fresh foods for their overnight visits also known as family 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:08.639 visits from one bender. 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:16.399 I'm taking great. 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:21.200 He married team tap with several other women to complain 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:24.240 about the food vender. They say he was selling them 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:28.119 rotten and expired food. They also point out that his 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:33.440 prices are higher than at regular source. Yeah, Robert tells 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:36.480 Mary that the news about the food complaints have spread 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:37.640 inside Donovan as well. 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:41.560 Okay good. 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:45.240 Mary is the one leading this movement, as she calls it. 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:49.560 Advocacy is a big part of Mary's life. She manages 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:53.200 several Facebook groups for families of the incarcerated in California, 0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:56.480 and two of them are dedicated to R. J. Donovan, 0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:00.000 the San Diego prison. Mary says there are more than 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:03.399 three hundred and thirty people in the Donovan group and 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:04.000 they're allway. 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:06.480 That has to change as well, because the food is 0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:08.800 rotten in there, and then like when you guys have 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:12.439 power outages, those machines go down, so all that melted 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:15.960 ice cream is still sitting there, and then we're purchasing it. 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:17.520 Why do you think I never eat the ice cream? 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:19.879 I tell you stop eating it. 0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:23.400 Mary created a food committee with six other women from 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:26.280 her Facebook group. They reached out to the Department of 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:30.080 Corrections and other agencies to complain about the vendor and 0:18:30.240 --> 0:18:33.199 ask if he was authorized to sell fresh food to families, 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:37.520 among other issues. Mary wants the men inside Donovan to 0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:39.280 file a complaint on their end as. 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:43.919 Well, but I don't think well. 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:46.760 I need that started Babe. 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:47.480 I know. 0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:53.720 It's harder for the men to complain. They're afraid of retiliation. 0:18:54.320 --> 0:18:56.200 I can call it the health department and have them 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:58.520 look at all that unit and does shut it down. 0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:01.040 And the only reason why I don't it's because we 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:02.600 want our family visits. 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:06.840 It's not the first time Mary's being vocal about the 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:10.359 problems at Donovan. She's organized protests in front of the 0:19:10.400 --> 0:19:14.440 prison and talked to the media about Donovan's mismanagement during 0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:17.959 the pandemic. She has served as a family representative at 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:21.600 the prison, and she speaks regularly. We see the headquarters 0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:26.399 and all of that affects Robert too, But Robert is 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:29.480 very proud of Mary and her advocacy for the families. 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:33.000 He says Mary is the only good thing that's ever 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:36.040 happened to him, and that men at Donovan want their 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:38.919 wives to be more like Mary, the way she's always 0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:43.160 there for him and fighting to make things better. Last Christmas, 0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:46.040 Robert painted a portrait of Mary as a gift for her. 0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:49.280 In the painting, Mary wears a white hat with a 0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:51.760 blue ribbon that reads masterpiece. 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:57.560 And I'm sorry because I know that this also puts 0:19:57.560 --> 0:19:59.959 you in a position. I'm not trying to get anybody 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:01.720 in trouble. I just want what's right. 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:02.600 I had six. 0:20:04.240 --> 0:20:07.800 I love you all right, Yeah, I'm fine. 0:20:09.920 --> 0:20:11.320 Things. It's so dark at the picture. 0:20:11.960 --> 0:20:13.800 Shut up with you in your stupid picture. 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:17.680 I know, I think. 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:19.800 I love you. 0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:22.080 I love you. 0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:28.080 God, bless you. Okay, bye, honey, God. I hate that 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:33.040 prison always something. I'm sorry. I just get so passionate 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:38.640 about it. You can call it puppy love. But he's 0:20:38.720 --> 0:20:43.080 my true love. He's my best friend. Even though he's 0:20:43.080 --> 0:20:46.080 in there, I can depend on him for anything. He's 0:20:46.119 --> 0:20:49.640 my backbone, he really is. I'm gonna get teary eyed. 0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:01.520 Coming up on Latin the USA, we continue our journey 0:21:01.560 --> 0:21:05.680 with Mary to RJ. Donovan Correctional Facility, and along the 0:21:05.720 --> 0:21:08.840 way we meet another woman who's learning the ropes of 0:21:08.880 --> 0:21:11.120 being married to someone in prison. 0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:13.560 Stay with us, mayes. 0:21:24.720 --> 0:21:24.880 Hi. 0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:28.360 I'm Nando Villa, host of Shoot the Messenger. I want 0:21:28.359 --> 0:21:33.280 to congratulate Latino USA on thirty years of great journalism. 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:36.560 Over the past three decades, Latino USA has done an 0:21:36.600 --> 0:21:41.800 amazing job highlighting voices and stories that go unseen. The heart, 0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:45.560 creativity and empathy that the Latino USA team brings to 0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:50.679 their journalism is inspiring. On top of that, Mariaokosa's presence 0:21:50.720 --> 0:21:53.800 has been so important for journalists of color everywhere, finding 0:21:53.840 --> 0:21:57.800 their voice and place in audio from Shoot the Messenger 0:21:57.840 --> 0:22:01.119 and exile content. Thank you for this legacy, and please 0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:02.280 keep up the good work. 0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:16.360 Hey, we're back before the break. We began our journey 0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:19.960 to accompany Mary Estrada in one of her visits to R. 0:22:20.080 --> 0:22:23.199 Jay Donovan. That's the prison in San Diego where her 0:22:23.240 --> 0:22:27.119 husband Robert is being held. Mary's been visiting and taking 0:22:27.160 --> 0:22:31.399 care of Robert in prison for forty years. Latino USA 0:22:31.480 --> 0:22:34.879 Senior producer Marta Martinez is back in the car with Mary, 0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:36.359 and we're going to join them. 0:22:36.400 --> 0:22:43.520 Now, I hate driving. It takes a toll, but'd say 0:22:43.560 --> 0:22:46.400 we're not even halfways there. We're not even a quarter's 0:22:46.400 --> 0:22:46.960 ways there. 0:22:48.040 --> 0:22:50.280