1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEFM dot com 4 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 6 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, right now. 7 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 2: Muckle up and hold on tight. We got it for 8 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 2: you here It is Strawberry Letter. 9 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject take your time, young man. Dear 10 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,840 Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm a forty two year old single woman 11 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: and I was in a ten year relationship with my 12 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,879 Speaker 1: and my man broke up with me and then he 13 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: married someone else six months later. I was devastated and 14 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:45,200 Speaker 1: I became a serial dater. Then I met a younger 15 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:49,239 Speaker 1: man and decided to settle down. He's thirty, but mature 16 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 1: for his age. The only problem that I have is 17 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: that he tries to take the lead in our relationship 18 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: and I try not to flex on him, but I 19 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: always have to show him whose boss. He is also 20 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: inferior to me in the bedroom, and it's hard for 21 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 1: me to coach him without him getting offended. He needs 22 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: to slow down and pay attention to what he's doing. 23 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 1: When I told him that he needs to slow down, 24 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 1: he told me that I need to concentrate. That won't 25 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 1: even matter because the whole ordeal doesn't last long. He 26 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,399 Speaker 1: got mad at me the other night because I left 27 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 1: out of the bedroom after we had sex, and I 28 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 1: slept on the couch and finished the job myself. The 29 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: next morning, he facetimed his dad and I heard his 30 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: dad tell him, take your time, young man. I was 31 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: outraged that he would tell his dad about our sex life. 32 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: So now we're both offended, and it's his fault because 33 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: he doesn't know how to go nice and slow. 34 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:46,919 Speaker 2: How could he possibly. 35 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: Get mad when I give him constructive criticism. I cannot 36 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: waste time on another man that doesn't listen. What should 37 00:01:53,440 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 1: I do? Everyone doesn't like constructive criticism, ma'am, and no 38 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: one likes it during sex, no one. Okay, that is 39 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:09,399 Speaker 1: not the time to point out someone's mistakes or whatever. 40 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: All right, I don't even understand why you're with this guy. 41 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: You don't even like him. According to you, he doesn't 42 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: do anything right. He doesn't do anything right, nothing, from 43 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: his ability to lead all the way down to his 44 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: love making you have a problem. You say he's mature 45 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: for his age, but then you say you always have 46 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: to show him whose boss? And what does that mean anyway? 47 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 1: I mean you say you have to coach him in 48 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: the bedroom. He needs to slow down, it doesn't last 49 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: long enough, and on and on. You have nothing but 50 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:46,799 Speaker 1: complaints about this young man who's twelve years younger than you. Yeah, yeah, 51 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: discussing his sex life with his dad. Maybe a little weird. 52 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 1: But his dad did tell him to take his time, 53 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 1: which is what you want the young man to do. Right, 54 00:02:56,360 --> 00:03:00,799 Speaker 1: you're mad about that? Make up your mind? What do 55 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 1: you want? What do you want? Ma'am? 56 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 2: See, I don't have any advice for her. 57 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 1: Just make up your mind. 58 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 3: Well, I ain't got no advice, but I'm gonna tell 59 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 3: her the reason why her life going like this. 60 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 2: If you farty two, if you're a party. 61 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 3: Two year old single woman, you in a ten year relationship, 62 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 3: your man broke up with you and then married somebody 63 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 3: else six months later, I could assure you a good 64 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 3: part of that ten year relationship you. 65 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,399 Speaker 2: Was in he was in something else too. 66 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 3: That's obvious because six months after y'all broke up, he 67 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:44,920 Speaker 3: was married. Now I was devastated, and your response to 68 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 3: being devastated was. 69 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 2: You became a serial day. 70 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 3: You just dating everybody because you want somebody to prove 71 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 3: to you and show you that you are still desirable. 72 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 3: And so you just went out with everybody. And now 73 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 3: you met this younger man. Now you steal dating so hard, 74 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 3: you going twelve years under. I'm devastated. He's thirty and 75 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 3: you met this younger man. 76 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 2: Hold on, saiton, baby. 77 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,640 Speaker 3: Loud, and you met this younger man, you decided to 78 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:27,359 Speaker 3: settle down. 79 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 2: He's thirty, but he's mature. 80 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 3: For his age. That's what she's saying. Now keep that 81 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,279 Speaker 3: in mind because this is important information. The only problem 82 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,839 Speaker 3: that this is a big problem that I have is 83 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 3: he tries to take the. 84 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 2: Reliad in our relationship. Why would he try to do that? 85 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 3: And I try not to flex on him, but I 86 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 3: always got to show him who's the boss. So now 87 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 3: you're dating this little dude that you say is so 88 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,080 Speaker 3: mature but you don't want hear. 89 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 2: I'm leading, and you got to. 90 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:07,280 Speaker 3: Flex on him to show him who boss. Well that's interesting. 91 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 3: So now exactly how mature is he? 92 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 2: Again? 93 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,479 Speaker 3: Because you said he's very mature, but you got to 94 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 3: flex on him, show him who boss. Maybe you don't 95 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 3: need to be a relationship. That could be it. I 96 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,559 Speaker 3: don't know where you're going with this, but I'm thinking 97 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 3: that's more like it. Then here go to other problems. 98 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:37,840 Speaker 3: He is also inferior to me in the bedroom. 99 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 2: Now that's you forty two, the boy thirty. 100 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 3: Well, you got twelve years on him. Now you don't 101 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 3: want nobody telling you nothing, so you flex on him 102 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 3: to show him who boss. But now let's talk about this. 103 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 3: We have way more experienced than him. Well we come back. 104 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 3: You might discover that you just way too much. You 105 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 3: thought about that. They may be just way too much, 106 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:18,600 Speaker 3: you know, you know. 107 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 1: All right, hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of 108 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the 109 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: hour of today's Strawberry letter. Subject take your time, young man. 110 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 2: Right after this, you're listening. 111 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: Hard morning show. All right, come on, Steve, let's recap 112 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry letter. The subject is take your time, young man. 113 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,720 Speaker 3: Forty two year old lady was in a ten year 114 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 3: relationship with a man. They broke up. Six months after 115 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 3: they broke up, this man married somebody. She was devastated. 116 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 3: She became a serial data, meaning she wants to go 117 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,280 Speaker 3: out and prove that she's still desired. She's dating a 118 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 3: whole lot of men. Finally she met this younger man 119 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:03,119 Speaker 3: who's thirty, twelve years younger than um decided to settle down. 120 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,359 Speaker 2: He's thirty, but he's mature for his age. 121 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 3: The only problem is she say, he tried to take 122 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 3: the lead in the relationship, and she tried not to 123 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 3: flex on him, but she always got to show him 124 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 3: who the boss. Well, now you done dated this boy 125 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 3: and now you want him to be beholden to you 126 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 3: and under you. But you just said he was mature 127 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 3: a minute ago, so when he tried to take the lead, 128 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,240 Speaker 3: you got to flex on him and show him who 129 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 3: the ball. All right, cool, So you know what this 130 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 3: is already. I don't know why you're trying to turn 131 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 3: this into something that it ain't. With good luck, let's go. Now, 132 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 3: here's the other problem. He is inferior to me in 133 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 3: the bed. Well, you forty two, he thirty. You've obviously 134 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 3: been using your forty two years to the best of 135 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 3: your ability, and then so you've also been using your 136 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 3: forty two two years to experience, experiment, explore, and indulge 137 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 3: into things that this boy ain't seen yet. So here 138 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 3: is school right now. Every time y'all go to bed, 139 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 3: this class time. All right, kids, get your pencils, let's 140 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 3: get your notes out. 141 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 2: It's time to go on in here. See what you 142 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 2: learned from yesterday? 143 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 3: Right? 144 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,559 Speaker 1: What is that? 145 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 3: And it's hard for me to coach here without him 146 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 3: getting offended. 147 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you right now. You probably wait till 148 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 2: the coach. 149 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:43,319 Speaker 3: You need to wait to the coach, and when it 150 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,319 Speaker 3: ain't in the middle of it, you gotta hey, listen 151 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 3: tomorrow and we do this well. I really like when 152 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,199 Speaker 3: you do this. If you could do more of that, 153 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,079 Speaker 3: you might have to go in like this. When you 154 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 3: do going that wrong, stop, don't do that. 155 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 2: Don't do that? What is that? Okay? Okay, so what 156 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 2: you think that's doing a right? 157 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 3: Don't nobody want boy boy? Come on now, won't stop 158 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 3: all that hard breathing. You ain't got to do that. 159 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 3: You ain't doing nothing. You ain't doing nothing. 160 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 2: And so. 161 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 3: He don't like that. When I told him that he 162 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,319 Speaker 3: needs to slow down, he told me, I need to concentrate. 163 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 3: You're going too fast. It's going too fast, and it's over. 164 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 3: He told you you need to concentrate your last needs 165 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 3: to put some focus on because it's taking you too 166 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:41,520 Speaker 3: damn long. That don't even matter because the whole ordeal 167 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,559 Speaker 3: don't even last that long. Well, you just said he 168 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 3: was mature. He thirty the other night because I left 169 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 3: out the bedroom after we had sex, and I slept 170 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 3: on the couch and finished the job myself. The next morning, 171 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,119 Speaker 3: he FaceTime his dad and I heard his dad tell him, 172 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:03,319 Speaker 3: take your time, young man. Now that's all you heard. See, 173 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 3: you just heard that, take your time, young man. I 174 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,199 Speaker 3: was outraged, and he would tell his dad about our 175 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 3: sex life. Maybe he was just talking about how the 176 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 3: situation was going, and he was just saying, young man, 177 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 3: be a woman like this, just take your time, get 178 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 3: to know him better. You never know, but you assuming 179 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 3: they talk about sex because you're in charge yourself. So 180 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 3: we were both so now we're both offended. And it's 181 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 3: his fault because he don't know how to go nice 182 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 3: and slow. Well that's what he doing at thirty. He 183 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 3: ain't learned to take his time yet. But you have, 184 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 3: you know why, because you everything, you all of that, 185 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,439 Speaker 3: You got all this know how in experience. 186 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 2: Let me get to the end of this letter. 187 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 3: How could it possibly get mad when I give him 188 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 3: constructive criticism because don't nobody. 189 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 2: Like the way you're telling it. 190 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 3: I cannot waste time on another man that doesn't listen. 191 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 2: What should I do? 192 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 3: Well, Boss lady, Yeah, big boss, big by yourself. 193 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 2: Boss, the big b B. You buy yourself? 194 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 3: Boss, You so busy, bossy, you don't want another man 195 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 3: that don't listen. Seem to me like you don't know nothing, 196 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 3: because everything you're telling everybody about how to coach you, 197 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 3: how to do better things and make. 198 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 2: You feel good. 199 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,560 Speaker 3: See you, you need somebody to make you feel a 200 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,959 Speaker 3: certain way, and you don't even know how to make 201 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,839 Speaker 3: yourself feel a certain way. You're looking for happiness in 202 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 3: all the wrong places. Now you can find us a 203 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 3: thirty year old boy to replace your for the chier 204 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 3: old man who look at That's why you buy yourself 205 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 3: because you too much. You're bossy, You think you know everything. 206 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,560 Speaker 3: You don't want nobody telling you nothing. That's why your 207 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 3: other man left you got married to the other woman. 208 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 3: You ever cross your mind like that with a dead mind, 209 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 3: And I'm glad you wrote it. So now let's get 210 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 3: this out The way right here, you too much bad 211 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 3: down all this experience you keep bringing in the bedroom 212 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:05,679 Speaker 3: and everybody, everybody don't know all that right here and 213 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 3: here with all this crazy mess you want to hear 214 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:08,959 Speaker 3: brand what a candle wax? 215 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 2: Don't mind? Know what I don't do, candle Wax? 216 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:18,439 Speaker 3: What you asking me for about you? 217 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 2: No? 218 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 3: No, I don't want know candle wax. And I don't 219 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 3: want to be here now. I don't know how to 220 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 3: do that. 221 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: But what is she telling them though? 222 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 3: Hey, hey, hey, stop stop what you're doing. I can't 223 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,199 Speaker 3: hold my breath that long. 224 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 1: About your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook, 225 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free 226 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app. You can download that today. Coming up at 227 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,200 Speaker 1: forty six minutes after the hour, it's Junior and Sports Talk. 228 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:56,679 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening Morning Show