Speaker 1: I love the concept of this is the second act
Speaker 1: of my life. Yeah, because if I look at the
Speaker 1: first act, I had a long fucking life.
Speaker 2: I did a lot of it. She did a lot, yeah,
Speaker 2: from like.
Speaker 1: All through school, yeah, all through my twenties, like finding myself,
Speaker 1: making mistakes, doing shit. So now I get to start
Speaker 1: this second act from who I am now forward.
Speaker 3: Welcome to Off the Cop, my personal anti anxiety antidote.
Speaker 3: This episode is special because I'm coming to on Location.
Speaker 3: Nineties con is happening in Hartford, Connecticut this weekend, and
Speaker 3: I traveled here.
Speaker 4: With one purpose in mind to interview this guest.
Speaker 3: Now, I grew up with this person, not literally, of course,
Speaker 3: but in the way we all grew up with this
Speaker 3: person if you were between the ages of eleven and
Speaker 3: twenty five in the nineties. And I remember watching the
Speaker 3: first episode of nine h two and zero vividly. It
Speaker 3: was like I had just discovered a drug.
Speaker 4: I was young. I was probably too young.
Speaker 2: I think I was like eleven, bad parenting.
Speaker 3: Woh yes, no, But I hit it from my parents. Okay,
Speaker 3: I hit it because this show was not appropriate for
Speaker 3: an eleven year old. But I was so hooked along
Speaker 3: with the rest of the nation, and that show gave.
Speaker 4: Us so much. For ten seasons.
Speaker 3: It covered sex, date, rape, racism, drugs, eating disorders, you
Speaker 3: name the teen affliction, and this show did it and
Speaker 3: then some. I think for a lot of us there
Speaker 3: was something we could attach to somewhere in this show,
Speaker 3: something that reflected our life, even though we were never
Speaker 3: as cool as these kids were. Well, now one of
Speaker 3: the cool kids is here on my podcast, which is
Speaker 3: so wild.
Speaker 4: Brian Austin Green, Welcome to Off the Cup.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 4: It's so excited.
Speaker 1: Like when you I said this before, when you reached
Speaker 1: out to me, Yeah, I was flabbergasted.
Speaker 2: I was like, yet, absolutely because you had so you.
Speaker 1: I have so much respect for you and what you do,
Speaker 1: because it's so brave what you do. Like you you
Speaker 1: put your opinion out there knowing that there's going to
Speaker 1: be a massive swath of this country that hate you
Speaker 1: for it, absolutely, and you do it anyway, and it's
Speaker 1: that's amazing. I do not do that. I sit at
Speaker 1: these conventions autographs and you know.
Speaker 4: I try just a wash in nineties nostalgia.
Speaker 2: At this one. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: So this is it's they play all nineties music. It's
Speaker 1: all people from like say by the Bell, Like it's
Speaker 1: all the shows and the things that were going on
Speaker 1: at that time.
Speaker 4: It's awesome.
Speaker 1: Do you like doing these I love honest, So I so,
Speaker 1: I love so. I love doing these nineties cons They're
Speaker 1: really fun because it is it's my decade.
Speaker 2: They're my people.
Speaker 1: Some of these other conventions you do that are very
Speaker 1: h They cover all genres.
Speaker 2: So they've got horror people.
Speaker 1: There, they have fans of anime there, they have you know,
Speaker 1: Andy Serkis will be there and the kids from like
Speaker 1: Lord of the Rings. So then you kind of I
Speaker 1: kind of get lost back in the corner, except for
Speaker 1: you know, the parents that can show up after work,
Speaker 1: you know. And so I spend most of the day
Speaker 1: just kind of watching people go by and like trying
Speaker 1: to offer them goodies and shit from my table, hoping
Speaker 1: they'll come right right.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean it sounds really fun.
Speaker 3: What does it feel like to have people care so
Speaker 3: much about a character that you like.
Speaker 2: It's insane. They care a lot, it's insane. Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1: I get it because I felt the same way about
Speaker 1: shows that meant the world. Like I so for me
Speaker 1: meeting my heroes, Like my heroes are who are they? Skaters?
Speaker 1: I grew up in nor Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, so I
Speaker 1: grew up skating. So like the first time I met
Speaker 1: Tony Hawk, I was like, I don't care about anything else.
Speaker 1: This is the craziest moment in my life.
Speaker 4: So you get that that fantasm.
Speaker 2: So yeah, so I understand it.
Speaker 1: So I always try and keep that in mind when
Speaker 1: I'm meeting people, so I'm like authentically in it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't understand necessarily their fan Like I don't have
Speaker 1: the same connection to Nino two one zero that other
Speaker 1: people do, but I have a connection to life and
Speaker 1: things from when I was a kid, so we have
Speaker 1: so much in common that way.
Speaker 2: I try and approach it that way.
Speaker 3: Do you have any personal space rules when you're at
Speaker 3: these like or are you just like hugs, kisses, signs whatever?
Speaker 2: I so not.
Speaker 1: I'm no signing bras, but I otherwise I don't have
Speaker 1: space rules, Okay, Like I really, I really try, and
Speaker 1: because the lines get long and people are waiting hours
Speaker 1: for these things, and I can't give them a ton
Speaker 1: of time because I need to try and get through
Speaker 1: the line of people that are there, but I want
Speaker 1: to make it something special for people that are there.
Speaker 1: So I hug him, you know, like really make sure
Speaker 1: that I lock eyes with him when we're talking, and oh,
Speaker 1: what's your name.
Speaker 2: My name is Brian, Nice to meet you. What are
Speaker 2: we doing? You know.
Speaker 1: It's like I really try and make it as in a.
Speaker 2: Short period of time, the best experience it can be.
Speaker 4: That's great. Yeah, have your kids seen ny.
Speaker 1: So they haven't seen nine O two one, Oh, but
Speaker 1: they've seen like pictures and things I have. There are
Speaker 1: a couple fans of the show that are like mega fans.
Speaker 2: There's this guy.
Speaker 4: Sure more than a couple, but okay, but I mean.
Speaker 1: Like there they are a couple that are like they
Speaker 1: run all of it. There's this one guy, Darren Martin,
Speaker 1: who lives he's up north in Canada, and he's known
Speaker 1: as the nine O two one bro Keeper of the
Speaker 1: Code because he's literally got like he remembers everything that
Speaker 1: was ever done on the show. He started watching the
Speaker 1: show he was going through dialysis, so he had four
Speaker 1: hours to kill every time he was doing it. So
Speaker 1: he started watching the show and it became something that
Speaker 1: just he's so incredibly passionate about. So we have these
Speaker 1: people that really kind of they keep us in tune
Speaker 1: of what is really happening out there and what people
Speaker 1: like and love about it and what they're responding to.
Speaker 1: So he's put together these binders of press clippings of
Speaker 1: like magazine things and stuff that we did all through
Speaker 1: the show and even before. And he was kind enough
Speaker 1: to send me one of these binders because he made
Speaker 1: a copy of it for himself. So he was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: your kids are going to love this, and I was like,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of work that you're doing, but thank you.
Speaker 2: And sure enough, my kids love it.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I love it.
Speaker 1: They spent all this time going through and they're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, look at you when you were ten
Speaker 1: and twelve.
Speaker 2: And doing this stuff.
Speaker 1: It's like me break dancing and you know, doing all
Speaker 1: the stupid teen magazine shit that was happening.
Speaker 3: Well, we're going to get into it. There's a lot
Speaker 3: more that I want to get to. I feel like
Speaker 3: you talk about that a lot, and yeah, you're more
Speaker 3: than that.
Speaker 2: I am more than that.
Speaker 4: You're more than that. Well, you're a full person. That's
Speaker 4: what we try to do on Off the Cock.
Speaker 1: Wait, so can I asker you because I so, I
Speaker 1: do podcasts and I have a show also which I
Speaker 1: invited you on.
Speaker 2: So I yes, so I am.
Speaker 1: It's funny now when I sit with people, I want
Speaker 1: to ask like questions also and I want to Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I so you started. You watched the show when
Speaker 1: it was on before in the nineties.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 2: How how big of a show was it for you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And then how did you get into journalism? Like how
Speaker 1: did that happen?
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, it was a it was a big show
Speaker 3: for me. Okay, it was a very big show. I
Speaker 3: think I kind of dropped off when y'all went to college. Okay,
Speaker 3: but for the years that you were in high school,
Speaker 3: it was I was you were like five years ahead
Speaker 3: of me, so you know, to me, I was looking
Speaker 3: at my future, which was way better than what my
Speaker 3: future turned out to be in high school. Okay, in
Speaker 3: an all girls Cathol high school, it was nothing like Okay,
Speaker 3: no to but no, I mean I was super into
Speaker 3: that show. It was a groundbreaking show to have this
Speaker 3: like soapy teen drama. And then I think I got
Speaker 3: real into my so called life, which was just one
Speaker 3: season like tragically, and then you know, i'd get I
Speaker 3: got into like friends and some of the older folks,
Speaker 3: but no, no, no, it was a big, big deal, big
Speaker 3: deal this show. And I got into journalism because I've
Speaker 3: always been a writer. I like asking questions, That's what
Speaker 3: I like to do. So I worked at the college newspaper.
Speaker 2: And then how did that lead to political journalism?
Speaker 1: Though? For you, because that is that was not such
Speaker 1: a leap, that was a huge sleep. That's a choice
Speaker 1: to make in life, like I am going to fight.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, it's it's not what I what I
Speaker 4: thought I was going to do.
Speaker 3: I was writing about like culture, and then nine to
Speaker 3: eleven happened, and I lived in New York City, and
Speaker 3: so I became then and patriotic, and you know, I
Speaker 3: tried to enlist, and my parents were like to their
Speaker 3: only child, they were like, no, please find some other
Speaker 3: more productive way to channel your patriotism. So I ended
Speaker 3: up writing about politics. Okay, that really snowballed and took
Speaker 3: over the main you know, my career.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so crazy, and it was it used.
Speaker 4: To be fun covering politics when it was normal.
Speaker 1: Well, but it's got to be fun covering on the
Speaker 1: level the fucking craziness of what is going on.
Speaker 3: It's always fun covering something novel and different. And as
Speaker 3: journalists we have a front row to history. That's an
Speaker 3: honor and a responsibility.
Speaker 4: But it's exhausting. It's exhausting covering politics for sure, Day Today.
Speaker 3: Okay, back to you, to you you are, Yes.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 4: You're heading into season three of Oldish.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's another podcast you host with Sharna Burgess and
Speaker 3: Randy Spelling.
Speaker 2: Any Spelling Toy's younger brother.
Speaker 3: Yeah, getting older is a journey, isn't it. Why do
Speaker 3: you want to do a podcast to talk about life
Speaker 3: at in your stage of life?
Speaker 1: Because well, what else am I going to talk about?
Speaker 1: I'm not going to talk about like the younger stuff
Speaker 1: because that's not I don't really I have five kids.
Speaker 2: Yes, I don't relate to that anymore.
Speaker 1: And it honestly started because Randy's been a professional life coach, yeah,
Speaker 1: for seventeen plus years. Like he lives in Portland, he's married,
Speaker 1: has two kids. He lives very like off the grid
Speaker 1: that way, like they're not they're not really watching TV,
Speaker 1: they're not using devices.
Speaker 2: It's it's really cool.
Speaker 1: So I saw him posting all the time on Instagram.
Speaker 1: And I used to do love lines in Los Angeles
Speaker 1: on the radio on camera, and I used to have
Speaker 1: so much fun doing that. And I love the fact
Speaker 1: that you had Adam Carolla who was out of his
Speaker 1: fucking mind, and then you had doctor True who had
Speaker 1: real information. Yes, And I was like, God, that's such
Speaker 1: a great blend. And I wish because the country is
Speaker 1: so right or left, but it's just it couldn't be
Speaker 1: more separated than it is right now. I felt like
Speaker 1: it'd be so great to have something that doesn't cross
Speaker 1: into that at all, that just like isn't formative. I
Speaker 1: love that that's fun for people to listen to. There's
Speaker 1: the nostalgia from us being up, from myself being on
Speaker 1: the show, and now you know I have I'm doing
Speaker 1: it with Sharna, who's the love of my life.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: So it it started as this, like, oh, it'll be
Speaker 1: a really fun thing, and then the more we did it,
Speaker 1: we changed the catchphrase of our show this year from
Speaker 1: age old problems meet New age solutions, and now we
Speaker 1: changed it to the more you know, the less you care.
Speaker 2: And it was like and it was like, yeah it
Speaker 2: makes sense. Yeah, great, that's great, And so we just we.
Speaker 1: Really have like we bring in guests and we really
Speaker 1: go hard in the paint people, like we really let's
Speaker 1: get into some talk like okay, we'll kind of cover
Speaker 1: the simple stuff that people want to hear, but then
Speaker 1: let's really and we make them discussions like they're not
Speaker 1: sit down interviews where we have just a bunch of quests,
Speaker 1: like we have questions that kind of give us a direction,
Speaker 1: but then it's like, oh no, all four of us
Speaker 1: or three of us, or whoever is in the room,
Speaker 1: we have this discussion where it's like we hear stories
Speaker 1: and we go.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that reminds me of the time when.
Speaker 4: I was doing and it can just go wherever it's
Speaker 4: going to go.
Speaker 2: It kind of goes wherever it goes.
Speaker 1: But then it becomes something where people that are listening
Speaker 1: or watching, they feel like they're a part of a conversation.
Speaker 1: They're a fly on a wall in something compared to
Speaker 1: just to sit down. Because people do sit down interviews.
Speaker 2: All the time.
Speaker 4: Yes they do, Yes, they do all the time.
Speaker 1: And you answer this, you end up answering the same
Speaker 1: question all the time, I'm sure.
Speaker 2: So it's so nice to get into conversations where it's
Speaker 2: like totally. It's oh, let's.
Speaker 1: Share our passion for things, right, share these these situations
Speaker 1: that are really so similar.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Right, we've lived You and I have lived completely different lives,
Speaker 1: but they're so similar because we are now in a
Speaker 1: public space and we're navigating that and it's a changing
Speaker 1: world constantly, constantly.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's nice to have.
Speaker 3: It's nice to have that experience where you can talk
Speaker 3: as people. Right, you're not a actor, I'm not a journalist, Like,
Speaker 3: let's just be people. And I try to do that
Speaker 3: here too, on Off the Cup, because the whole guiding
Speaker 3: principle of Off the Cup is to create a space
Speaker 3: where mental health can naturally come up.
Speaker 4: It's not the focus.
Speaker 3: I don't sit down and say, so, let's talk about
Speaker 3: your mental health, right, Sure, it's having a normal comversation
Speaker 3: the way you would with someone, and you'll cover maybe
Speaker 3: a challenge or a dark time or a you know,
Speaker 3: rough patch, and maybe.
Speaker 4: You talk how you got out of that, and talking.
Speaker 3: Like that and normalizing a conversation about mental health, well,
Speaker 3: it so does, and it takes the stigma away from it,
Speaker 3: it ends the silence. So I feel a greater purpose
Speaker 3: for sure in this podcast too, and that was important
Speaker 3: to me. I didn't want to sit down and just
Speaker 3: do a political interview.
Speaker 2: Because you do that all the time.
Speaker 4: Yes, So I love what you're doing at Oldish.
Speaker 3: It's great, and I think there's such an interest in
Speaker 3: talking about this stage of life that we're in, like
Speaker 3: whether it's parenthood or fucking perimenopause, don't even get me started,
Speaker 3: or you know, the stage in our career that we
Speaker 3: are that we are in, right, we're not in our
Speaker 3: twenties hungry, but we're not retiring.
Speaker 1: Like I think there's some responsibilities I have, like kids,
Speaker 1: Like I have a whole my life is completely different
Speaker 1: than it was to and I'm a whole different person,
Speaker 1: different person. Yes, I'm looking at my future in a
Speaker 1: new way. I'm looking at the life that I live
Speaker 1: in a new way.
Speaker 4: I've learned so much. Yeah, it's it's a very.
Speaker 2: It's really interesting. It's it's a really cool age.
Speaker 3: And I love that we're sort of talking about the
Speaker 3: stuff that is happening to us at this age and
Speaker 3: there's an audience for that because a lot of people
Speaker 3: are trying to navigate all the same shit we are,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: So it's I think it's amazing too when people can
Speaker 1: do it in an authentic way. Yes, well you have
Speaker 1: to be authentic, like it in a very like we
Speaker 1: get very fucking raw and real on that show. I
Speaker 1: love that and and not just with the guests, like
Speaker 1: for me to go, I so relate to that and
Speaker 1: here's why, and to dig into it on my own
Speaker 1: ship because I I really learned four or five years
Speaker 1: ago that for me to be relatable and for people
Speaker 1: to relate to me, I have to show the human side.
Speaker 2: Have to get everything you have to get to give. Yeah, totally,
Speaker 2: like you cannot.
Speaker 1: You cannot have a guard up and be like I'm
Speaker 1: just going to give this, but I'm not gonna like
Speaker 1: you have to don't fucking do it.
Speaker 4: Don'n't do it. Just don't do it. There's no point.
Speaker 2: There's no point at all.
Speaker 1: Sit in your living room, watch episodes of Seinfeld when
Speaker 1: they come on. You know what I'm saying, I do
Speaker 1: and then and then and then like spend the you know,
Speaker 1: spend the mornings with your kids before they go to school.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, you're totally right.
Speaker 3: There's no point if you're not going to be real
Speaker 3: and raw and honest.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I want to know what you were like as
Speaker 4: a kid. What kind of kid were you?
Speaker 1: I was extremely hyper, okay, I was extremely small.
Speaker 4: Small in stature.
Speaker 2: I was like I was like five four for years
Speaker 2: when we did the first season of the show. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so tiny.
Speaker 4: When did you shoot up?
Speaker 2: I was between seven.
Speaker 4: Shoot up in size, not drugs.
Speaker 2: When did you so?
Speaker 1: I it was between like seventeen and eighteen, okay, I
Speaker 1: was a really late bloomer.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And we did the first season of the show, and
Speaker 1: Iron Zering, one of the guys who's on the show
Speaker 1: with me, used to pick me up by my neck
Speaker 1: because I was like this little and I'd hold his
Speaker 1: arms picked me up and it was like this joke thing.
Speaker 1: And season two we came back to work and I
Speaker 1: was six.
Speaker 4: Feet Oh my god, I remember that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And you were you were younger than most of yours.
Speaker 2: I'm the youngest on the cast.
Speaker 4: You were the youngest.
Speaker 2: Yes, yep. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Were your friends your castmates? Were they protective? Were they
Speaker 3: bad influences?
Speaker 2: They were?
Speaker 1: They were both tell me so they were. So they
Speaker 1: were fantastic.
Speaker 2: They were. We had a really.
Speaker 1: Unique, amazing cast there because we were all going through
Speaker 1: something that nobody but us understood. There was like new
Speaker 1: kids on the block were massive. Our show was massive,
Speaker 1: so it was like we took over for them, which
Speaker 1: was so surreal. It was the whole for me, being
Speaker 1: my age, the whole thing all tenure was was so surreal,
Speaker 1: Like I wish now I could travel the places that
Speaker 1: I did then because I would appreciate those things now right.
Speaker 2: Compared to then.
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, everybody at seventeen is you know,
Speaker 1: doing all this shit go to Japan to side right,
Speaker 1: isn't this what everyone does in life?
Speaker 2: Like, oh, I I love my twenties.
Speaker 4: Did you get to go to high school? I.
Speaker 2: For the most part, I went to high school.
Speaker 4: Was it like you had a normal high school experienced?
Speaker 1: I mean we it wasn't until my senior year that
Speaker 1: we started doing that on two and no.
Speaker 4: So acting the most in high school.
Speaker 1: I was mostly in high school. I did a lot
Speaker 1: of set school when I was working on things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know it wasn't None of it was as
Speaker 1: steady as nine or two one oh.
Speaker 2: None of it was a ten year run.
Speaker 1: So I'd do I would do days here and there,
Speaker 1: and I'd get my work from school, and I'd have
Speaker 1: to do three hours a day set school, which does
Speaker 1: not breed intelligence. No, not for the most part. There
Speaker 1: are certain people like Danica mckellary who came out.
Speaker 2: And she's a math coetian.
Speaker 1: My mind is a fucking you know, neuro and scientist
Speaker 1: and shit like that.
Speaker 2: And then there's me people. Then there was me that
Speaker 2: was like, wait, places on the map.
Speaker 1: I don't know continents, but I don't know what's the
Speaker 1: difference between the continent and the country.
Speaker 2: I don't understand. So so yeah, it doesn't.
Speaker 1: It doesn't breed smart Okay, but uh yeah, I started
Speaker 1: acting when I was nine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, then was it was it? Your parents no
Speaker 3: wanted to do it?
Speaker 1: So my dad is a drummer, my mom is a housewife.
Speaker 1: I was going to school all performing arts schools for
Speaker 1: music when I was a kid because I played the drums,
Speaker 1: which there's yeah, I'm said right there right off the
Speaker 1: off set. And I was going to a school on
Speaker 1: the USC campus. It was an elementary school, and student
Speaker 1: directors from USC would come and pick kids for their
Speaker 1: like graduate.
Speaker 2: Films for the project.
Speaker 1: So I ended up doing like three of those, and
Speaker 1: it was super fun because it's you spend a weekend
Speaker 1: doing it, and it was like, God, I normally all
Speaker 1: I do every day is the sun comes up, I
Speaker 1: leave the house.
Speaker 2: I skate until the sun's coming down, and my dad.
Speaker 1: Whistles and then it's like, oh shit, I better get
Speaker 1: it now, or he's you know, or it's I'm going
Speaker 1: to hear about it. So all of a sudden, it
Speaker 1: was something new to do on weekends and I really
Speaker 1: had fun doing it. And a kid that I rode
Speaker 1: the bus to school with was an actor. He had
Speaker 1: an agent, he was doing commercials. He was making money.
Speaker 1: He had like all the crazy like pong games and
Speaker 1: all the like really bad graphic gay you know, handheld
Speaker 1: games like great, you know, your car racing but it's
Speaker 1: like blocks coming down and so you're just moving the
Speaker 1: car from left to right and there were like three slots.
Speaker 1: You know, it wasn't it was pretty rudimentary, but it
Speaker 1: was at the time it was amazing.
Speaker 2: So we had all this stuff and I was like,
Speaker 2: are you rich, Like how ya? How do you have
Speaker 2: all this stuff?
Speaker 1: And he told me he was like, oh, I do
Speaker 1: commercials and my parents gave me a percentage of it.
Speaker 2: I was like I want to do that. That's amazing.
Speaker 2: I'll absolutely take that time.
Speaker 4: Amazing.
Speaker 1: So I told my parents and they were like, if
Speaker 1: in six months, you still want to do it, because
Speaker 1: they knew they were smart enough to realize how much
Speaker 1: it was going to take for them. Yeah, too, You're
Speaker 1: gonna have to drive me to auditions. We're gonna have
Speaker 1: to do headshots, they're gonna have to you know, acting classes,
Speaker 1: all the stuff, and it was going to take up
Speaker 1: It was a it's a full time job, preparent and
Speaker 1: six months later, I still wanted to do it, not
Speaker 1: realizing how much was going to go into it, And
Speaker 1: I went and met with my friend's agent and they
Speaker 1: signed me for commercials and theatrical work.
Speaker 2: I booked nothing for the first year.
Speaker 4: For the first year nothing.
Speaker 2: I had no idea what I was doing.
Speaker 1: I didn't understand the concept of, oh, these people are
Speaker 1: going to pay me, so I have to do what
Speaker 1: it is they want me to do.
Speaker 2: I was just young. Yeah, I was like, this.
Speaker 1: Is amazing, Like sign in and go in the room
Speaker 1: and like, hey, everybody, how you guys doing. And they'd asked,
Speaker 1: you know, ask for certain things, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll do them. But it's all about this, right, It's
Speaker 1: all about like just me being this like funny kid.
Speaker 1: And then I booked my first commercial and it was
Speaker 1: it was a bank commercial and it never aired, but
Speaker 1: something clicked for me when I booked it. And then
Speaker 1: I went and I shot it of like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: here to do a job.
Speaker 4: It's a job.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I'm a kid, but they're paying me to
Speaker 1: do something specific.
Speaker 4: It's adults.
Speaker 2: Adults are paying you, right, adults, they do not give
Speaker 2: a shit. Yeah, like I would rather be skating right right,
Speaker 2: you know, right right.
Speaker 1: And then from that point on, I booked literally everything
Speaker 1: that I went in.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did probably seventy five commercials as a kid.
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 1: I started doing a show called Knots Landing when I
Speaker 1: was about ten and a half, right, and then music
Speaker 1: just kind of had to I had to start compartmentalizing everything.
Speaker 1: And it was like, okay, music, even though I've been
Speaker 1: studying it my whole life, this is taking up all
Speaker 1: of my time.
Speaker 4: Do you have any regrets?
Speaker 2: No about that. I have no regrets. Yeah, I don't. Now.
Speaker 1: When I was younger, I did, of course, because it
Speaker 1: was like, oh but my you know, I'm missing such
Speaker 1: a big part of my passion and all that. Now
Speaker 1: looking back on it, I'm a big I'm a big
Speaker 1: believer in the fact that I have learned way more
Speaker 1: from my failures than I have for my successes. My successes.
Speaker 1: It's what's the old saying, if it ain't broke, don't
Speaker 1: fix it.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: So if it works, you just fucking keep doing it,
Speaker 1: keep going right, just keep going. It's the things that
Speaker 1: didn't work, yes, where I've had to sit down and go, Okay,
Speaker 1: why didn't that work?
Speaker 2: What do I have to do differently next time?
Speaker 4: Self examination?
Speaker 2: Self examination?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's a bitch, It can be a real bit.
Speaker 2: It's a bitch.
Speaker 1: But the end it's I always say, the road less
Speaker 1: traveled is called that for a reason. It's less traveled
Speaker 1: because it's a it's hard fucking road to go on.
Speaker 1: But the end of that road is so much more
Speaker 1: rewarding totally than the average road, and we'll just skate along.
Speaker 3: It's so true, and sometimes so like I had a
Speaker 3: mental breakdown, total nervous breakdown at forty at forty and
Speaker 3: I it coincided with a lot of things, but and
Speaker 3: I suffered from anxiety, but.
Speaker 4: My twenties and thirties.
Speaker 3: My career was on an upward trajectory the entire time.
Speaker 3: Right there were and I hustled, I was there were
Speaker 3: no lows. I worked my ass off and I kept
Speaker 3: moving up, up, up up.
Speaker 4: Then I plateau and not in the way that like,
Speaker 4: you know, not in the way.
Speaker 3: That like, well, I've made it to the top of
Speaker 3: the mountain, I'm just gonna sit here.
Speaker 1: No, like like no, there's more yeah, yeah, and I'm
Speaker 1: not getting there correct. It's like it's like having a
Speaker 1: gym membership and you're like, no matter what I fucking knew,
Speaker 1: I can't lose.
Speaker 3: No changes pounds exactly what it is. And it really,
Speaker 3: it really messed with my head because I had no
Speaker 3: tools to adapt or because I had been up, up, up,
Speaker 3: up right and not self examining and not checking with
Speaker 3: my mental health and just living anxiously not knowing.
Speaker 2: You were succeeding. Why would sing? Why would you check?
Speaker 1: You had nothing to check in with exactly right, like
Speaker 1: and broke fucking why fix it?
Speaker 2: Missed?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, And in the beginning when I started like therapy,
Speaker 3: and I really was angry that this happened to me.
Speaker 4: And then I'm having to do this.
Speaker 3: I'm having to self examine and I'm having to and
Speaker 3: now that I'm like.
Speaker 4: Five years in, I have such a different attitude about it.
Speaker 3: I was not a whole person before I started looking
Speaker 3: at myself and asking myself, Am I.
Speaker 4: Doing these things for the right reasons?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 4: Am I enjoying these things?
Speaker 3: What about the rest of me outside of work? Does
Speaker 3: is the is there a person there? And like, finding
Speaker 3: an identity outside of my work was hard.
Speaker 1: Cats and catalysts come in crazy packages and it's like
Speaker 1: and they hit you fucking hard something.
Speaker 2: So I had a neurological breakdown.
Speaker 4: Yeah, tell me about because I've read about, But tell
Speaker 4: me about what did you know this first?
Speaker 1: So, so, the first thing that I was noticing in
Speaker 1: my thirties was ulsterrative colitis. Came out of nowhere, like
Speaker 1: thirty five years old, really bad. And I went to
Speaker 1: a doctor, a GI doctor who was amazing. He's like
Speaker 1: top of his field. He's at Cedars in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: and he did the camera with all the stuff and
Speaker 1: he was like, Oh, you've got the sores of someone
Speaker 1: that's had colitis for like seven years. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I've had it for like seven days,
Speaker 1: so it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2: Do you know why he couldn't figure it out. It's like,
Speaker 2: it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1: So we started looking at my diet and things, and
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I'll stop with the dairy, like
Speaker 1: I'll do the you know, I'll stop the things that
Speaker 1: I think might have triggered it. But I would have it.
Speaker 1: Most people that have colitis they get it like monthly,
Speaker 1: Like these flare ups are constant. I was getting them
Speaker 1: like once a year.
Speaker 2: It's very odd.
Speaker 4: It was very strange.
Speaker 1: So then all of a sudd I was doing anger
Speaker 1: management with Charlie Sheen, who is the nicest guy.
Speaker 2: In the world by the way, let me just throw
Speaker 2: that throw that in.
Speaker 1: And I woke up one morning I was supposed to
Speaker 1: be at work and I had really bad vertigo. So
Speaker 1: for the first time, my first time ever in my life.
Speaker 1: So I text the producer and I said, hey, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling terrible, Like, I'll text you later on the
Speaker 1: day if it feels better, and we'll figure it out
Speaker 1: later on the day. I was like, nope, it's like
Speaker 1: I don't know, so let me just text you tomorrow,
Speaker 1: and he was like, no problem, we'll get the day done.
Speaker 1: It'll be fine, Thank God. Like the schedule and the
Speaker 1: way that show worked, it was fantastic.
Speaker 2: They were great.
Speaker 1: Next morning, Nope, still had it and twenty four hours
Speaker 1: a day like it wasn't it was.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The only time I didn't was when my head was
Speaker 1: on the pillow and I was laying God, as soon
Speaker 1: as I sat up, it would spin like ferociously. I'd
Speaker 1: get incredibly nauseous. Sure, I threw up probably fifteen times
Speaker 1: a day. I mean that's that's.
Speaker 2: Oh my God for you.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 4: No, but like so.
Speaker 2: It was horrible. And for three months I had him,
Speaker 2: No three months.
Speaker 4: In that time, that three month time where you felt horrible. Yeah,
Speaker 4: did you get depressed for sure?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Terrified? Yeah, Because there was no diagnosis.
Speaker 1: It was like I don't know, yeah, you know, I
Speaker 1: didn't know, like, oh my god, did I eat something weird?
Speaker 2: Like what why is this happening?
Speaker 1: And I was seeing a guy at Kech Institute at
Speaker 1: that point that was like a specialist in vertigo and
Speaker 1: all of that treatment, and he was like he did
Speaker 1: all the positions, all the stuff, nothing helped, And he
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know what is going on with you.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden one day that stopped out of nowhere.
Speaker 1: So I go back to and your management. They had
Speaker 1: kind of they the way the show, oh shot was.
Speaker 1: They shot it like it was a live audience show,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't. It was all just sort of can
Speaker 1: laughter and whatever. And we would do two episodes a week.
Speaker 1: We would do one Monday Tuesday, first half a Wednesday,
Speaker 1: then the second half a Wednesday. Thursday Friday was the
Speaker 1: second one. So they saved up all my stuff. So
Speaker 1: I got to set and it was like, oh, we
Speaker 1: have three weeks of just you know, tons of your stuff.
Speaker 4: Hammered it out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hammered it out. Everything was great. So we finished
Speaker 1: the show. We had a series series finale.
Speaker 2: End of that year.
Speaker 1: I start noticing little weird things, like, so, I'm an
Speaker 1: avid driver. I loved I loved driving, and I was
Speaker 1: like oversteering and hitting curves and weird things.
Speaker 2: I was like, what else is scarying on? Scary? Then
Speaker 2: I start noticing that I'm slurring words here and there. Oh,
Speaker 2: and how old are you? I was in my forties, and.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what was going on, and I was
Speaker 1: working out with this guy, Harley Pasternak at the time,
Speaker 1: this amazing trainer. It brings a lot of people, and
Speaker 1: so I said to him. I was like, dude, I
Speaker 1: don't know what's going on, man, but like I've been
Speaker 1: noticing I'm slurring words here and there. And he was like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I haven't noticed anything. You seem fine.
Speaker 2: So we kept working out.
Speaker 1: We finished the workout, and at the end of it,
Speaker 1: he goes, so, I've heard you slur a couple.
Speaker 2: Words, and right away alarm bells go off.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, what's going on. So
Speaker 1: I go to a neurologist at CEDARS.
Speaker 2: He was like, I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1: I think you might have like a virus or something.
Speaker 1: You probably picked it up a couple months.
Speaker 2: It should be okay.
Speaker 1: It's a virus that you know, kind of attacked maybe
Speaker 1: the frontal cortex, so it's you know, so it affects
Speaker 1: those things or my ALM will know which part of
Speaker 1: the brain was was effective. I'm sure she's hearing this
Speaker 1: and she he's like, that's stupid wrong. Jesus Christ fucking
Speaker 1: set school.
Speaker 2: Here we go. It's exactly what you were talking about.
Speaker 1: So so I was like, okay, so that was at
Speaker 1: least something positive, where I was like, okay, it sucks
Speaker 1: right now, but there's an deal with this, there's an
Speaker 1: end to it, like it's you know, it's all right.
Speaker 1: And it just progressively got worse and worse. I was
Speaker 1: slurring more, my speech started to go, my equilibrium started
Speaker 1: to go, my ability to like straighten limbs and like
Speaker 1: it all started just rapidly declining.
Speaker 4: So does your kids notice?
Speaker 1: So I only had Noah was born, and then body
Speaker 1: was young, was really young, so it was he was
Speaker 1: way too young to notice at that time. But my
Speaker 1: twenty three, my now twenty three year old, he noticed
Speaker 1: for sure.
Speaker 2: So then I.
Speaker 1: Started it started just rapidly going, and it got to
Speaker 1: the point where I couldn't walk, I couldn't talk, I
Speaker 1: couldn't read, I couldn't write. I was in physical therapy,
Speaker 1: speech therapy, everything at cedar Cy and I three days
Speaker 1: a week and I had to rehabit like I had
Speaker 1: a stroke, even though I didn't have a stroke.
Speaker 2: And it took four and a half years.
Speaker 4: Did they ever tell you what happened?
Speaker 2: No diagnosis.
Speaker 1: So then I find a natural doctor in the valley
Speaker 1: who he does kinesiology, the study of like, you know
Speaker 1: what you're allergic to based on muscle movement and everything,
Speaker 1: and he's testing me and he tells me, He's like,
Speaker 1: you're one of the most toxic people I've ever had
Speaker 1: in my office, heavy metals, all sorts of things. So
Speaker 1: it turns out I had tons of internal inflammation from
Speaker 1: diet my whole life, but because it was internal, I
Speaker 1: had no idea that it was there. I'd always been
Speaker 1: physically active, I had always done stuff. And then the
Speaker 1: other biggest part of it was emotional m M.
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, so I need to your body
Speaker 4: was telling you something.
Speaker 1: I need to fucking hit therapy. Yep, hard I like,
Speaker 1: and I know, I know what my things are like.
Speaker 1: I know growing up in my household, my parents did
Speaker 1: the best they knew how to do, obviously, but we
Speaker 1: didn't have healthy debate around the dinner table, but we
Speaker 1: you know, they weren't open, like, hey, what are your
Speaker 1: thoughts on that? Oh my god, that's amazing and supportive
Speaker 1: because they didn't under to them. They learned these lessons
Speaker 1: in life, and then that's the fucking way that you do.
Speaker 2: It to teach your kids. You do it this way.
Speaker 2: That other way. That's the fun, that's the dumb one.
Speaker 2: This is the way that is the most productive. This
Speaker 2: is what.
Speaker 1: So then it built this part of me where if
Speaker 1: anybody disagreed with me, I could feel my blood boil
Speaker 1: and my heart racing, and I had major anxiety because
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'm not I know
Speaker 1: what my opinion is, but I'm not used to saying
Speaker 1: my opinion without it being shut down right away. So
Speaker 1: it became like I've got to throw this fucking grenade
Speaker 1: in the room of what my opinion is, and then
Speaker 1: I've got to get out, and it doesn't matter what
Speaker 1: is left. But that leaves you in this perpetual state
Speaker 1: of like fighter flight totally. I was in that all
Speaker 1: the time. Most people are in it when your body
Speaker 1: needs it. I was in it probably ninety five percent.
Speaker 2: Of the time. Me too. I understand it breaks down
Speaker 2: your body.
Speaker 1: It's exhausting, it's exhausting, but it then you remove the
Speaker 1: capability of your body to fight other things, right because
Speaker 1: it's so busy fighting itself totally the time.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 3: So my doctor said this could kill you because being
Speaker 3: in a state of fighter flight with the adrenaline coursing
Speaker 3: through you at all time.
Speaker 4: That's not normal. That's not natural, that is not healthy.
Speaker 4: That's how you have a heart attack.
Speaker 2: That's how I mean.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's real.
Speaker 2: It is absolutely real.
Speaker 1: It's real, but it's it comes from such a programmed,
Speaker 1: simple place that you don't even necessarily realize exists at
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 4: It's so obvious that you cannot see it now.
Speaker 1: I remember when they told me about it. I was like,
Speaker 1: what are you talking about. I'm happy all the time,
Speaker 1: and I was. I was always like, really easy going
Speaker 1: with people, and I was always a people pleaser. But
Speaker 1: it was costing me so much to be that way
Speaker 1: because I wasn't being that way in a healthy way.
Speaker 1: I still am that way naturally, but not at the
Speaker 1: expense of my own health and my own emotional and
Speaker 1: mental well being.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I had to learn that, and I found a
Speaker 1: great therapist that gave me these tools that allowed me
Speaker 1: to in a healthy way listen, like truly listen to
Speaker 1: people and not feel intimidated or judged for difference of opinion.
Speaker 1: But instead I learned to love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love having political conversations with people that do that.
Speaker 2: I do not see.
Speaker 1: Eye to eye with and going listen, I don't understand
Speaker 1: your views at all at all, but I so desperately
Speaker 1: want to please explain.
Speaker 2: Them to me.
Speaker 1: And as soon as you do that, then everybody else
Speaker 1: their walls come down and they they're not afraid of
Speaker 1: being judged, and then they get into these conversations and
Speaker 1: then you get into your views and all of a
Speaker 1: sudden they're open to listening. And most of the time
Speaker 1: you finish those conversations with people going, I fucking love you.
Speaker 2: This is such a great conversation.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy we had this, and it completely changes
Speaker 1: their views of things. Yeah, and I've had I've had
Speaker 1: those on social media, which I like, I had to
Speaker 1: learn how to navigate that because now I'm turning fifty
Speaker 1: two this year, so it's like, I that is German
Speaker 1: to me, Like I social media is crazy. So I
Speaker 1: had you know, I would have my twenty three year
Speaker 1: old is gay, and I would have people that would
Speaker 1: say something, you know, something stupid and kind of in
Speaker 1: passing of like, oh, that's so gay, why would you
Speaker 1: do that?
Speaker 2: And I was like, WHOA hold on a second.
Speaker 1: We would have these conversations and I had this one
Speaker 1: woman who was telling me then that her child is
Speaker 1: autistic and she's constantly having to protect him from people outside.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, so then how do you
Speaker 1: think this is for? Like would you ever speak this
Speaker 1: way and affect your son? And as soon as I
Speaker 1: put it in those terms, she was like, no, never.
Speaker 1: And I said, that's I have a gay child. Like
Speaker 1: that is not that. That is not a word that
Speaker 1: is in my vocabulary anymore, and it shouldn't be in
Speaker 1: yours anymore. We now live in twenty twenty two or
Speaker 1: whatever year it was when we were talking about it,
Speaker 1: and I said, that is not this is a new time,
Speaker 1: and like you need to think responsible or need to
Speaker 1: think bigger than you do not. Yeah, and you have
Speaker 1: you have a reason to you should understand it.
Speaker 4: Yes, you have a connection to this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, total you like you would die for your child.
Speaker 2: Guess what?
Speaker 1: There are a million fucking children and people dealing with
Speaker 1: their own shit that is just as important as that.
Speaker 2: You need to treat it as such, Like you need.
Speaker 1: To have a better blanket view of the fucking world
Speaker 1: around you. You need to open your eyes a little
Speaker 1: bit and instead of being in your little bubble and
Speaker 1: thinking like that's the world. It's like, No, the world
Speaker 1: is this massive place. You need to live within that
Speaker 1: space instead of this one.
Speaker 3: So how did all of this impact the way you parent?
Speaker 3: You know, coming from the way you believe you were parented,
Speaker 3: right you EXPERI as a kid?
Speaker 2: Yeah, going through what.
Speaker 3: You went through, did it change how you look at
Speaker 3: parenting and how.
Speaker 2: You're sure it did?
Speaker 1: It's raising good moral people has always been high on
Speaker 1: the list for me, but it really put me in
Speaker 1: a place of I want to teach my kids these
Speaker 1: tools that I've learned, like I really want to. I
Speaker 1: want to prop them up and tell them and show
Speaker 1: them how special they are for their beliefs and their things,
Speaker 1: And I don't want them to feel like what I
Speaker 1: know is the best at I say I'm sorry to
Speaker 1: them whenever I do anything, because I don't want them
Speaker 1: to put me on a pedestal or think that I'm
Speaker 1: some superhuman right that they live underneath and they'll never
Speaker 1: be able to live up to me. It's like, I
Speaker 1: want them to know we're on an even playing field.
Speaker 1: I've been doing this longer, so I've learned lot more
Speaker 1: along the way. But I absolutely want you all to
Speaker 1: learn as well, like, I don't want to keep somebody
Speaker 1: from traveling on their path and having their life experience
Speaker 1: the way they do. And I think that we rob
Speaker 1: people of that when we try and fix everything right.
Speaker 1: And it's not my job to fix everything. It's not
Speaker 1: my job to be their their best friend, because they're
Speaker 1: gonna have a shit ton of friends and best friends
Speaker 1: throughout their life, but they're only gonna have one father, yeah,
Speaker 1: and one mother.
Speaker 2: So it's like, that's that's my job.
Speaker 1: I like, And sometimes I'm going to say things that
Speaker 1: you don't want to hear, and I'm gonna have opinions
Speaker 1: that you're not gonna agree with, Like that's but like
Speaker 1: if we do it in a healthy way, and I
Speaker 1: and I do it in a loving way and I'm
Speaker 1: always supportive, then that's I'm gonna do it way better
Speaker 1: than the fucking world you're gonna walk out out to
Speaker 1: once you're you know, you move out of the house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And we talk about this a lot on off
Speaker 3: the cup, modeling your protection of your mental health to
Speaker 3: your kids, showing them how to be imperfect. Mom doesn't
Speaker 3: have all the answers, yeah, Mom. Mom sometimes has struggles
Speaker 3: and she asks for help importantly, you will have struggles.
Speaker 3: You can ask for help, you can talk openly.
Speaker 4: Mom is not perfect. It's so important.
Speaker 2: It's so important.
Speaker 4: We feel this pressure when we first become parents.
Speaker 2: How many kids do you have?
Speaker 4: Just the one?
Speaker 2: Just the one?
Speaker 4: You have five?
Speaker 3: I know, right, I have just the one. But you know,
Speaker 3: I was a hyper ambitious person. I wanted to raise
Speaker 3: not a perfect child, but you know, I put all
Speaker 3: myself into it.
Speaker 4: Sure, and my child's also on the spectrum.
Speaker 3: And I had this anxiety and I had this nervous
Speaker 3: breakdown and I felt like I was letting him down
Speaker 3: when I felt like I had just become imperfect. Suddenly
Speaker 3: was always imperfect, but in my mind, I had just
Speaker 3: become imperfect when I had this bringown. So it was
Speaker 3: really important when my therapist told me, like, this is
Speaker 3: so much better for your son to see in age
Speaker 3: appropriate ways, to see you being imperfect, yes, and not
Speaker 3: having it all figured out. That will resonate so much
Speaker 3: more and build him in such a way, give him
Speaker 3: so much many more tools then if you just saw impervious.
Speaker 1: Mom, I have days, you know, you have days that
Speaker 1: are just overwhelming, and it's like God, like I just
Speaker 1: have no patience today, Like I know, I'm snap, I'm snapping,
Speaker 1: I'm doing all those things. But I think if you
Speaker 1: then approach at the end of that day and you go,
Speaker 1: I had such a terrible day.
Speaker 2: It had nothing to do with you, right anything, And
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry if I snapped at you, and I was,
Speaker 1: But I'm going to have more of these days just
Speaker 1: like you are, So we're going to get through these together.
Speaker 1: And then one of the things, one of the other
Speaker 1: things I learned having five kids is they're all boys, right,
Speaker 1: all boys. I've raised them all the same and they
Speaker 1: could not be more different. So you realize that they
Speaker 1: are the people that they are when they come out.
Speaker 1: Like there's always that hope as a parent of like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you know, I hope he loves music
Speaker 1: the same way that I do. I hope that, but
Speaker 1: that's not if they do. They do on their own.
Speaker 1: It's not something you can push. I genuinely feel like
Speaker 1: my job as a parent is to make them morally
Speaker 1: good people.
Speaker 2: So I don't care what it is you do.
Speaker 1: I don't care if you are a drummer or you know,
Speaker 1: you're a studio technician. Just be a good fucking person
Speaker 1: while you're doing it simple because you're going to be
Speaker 1: an adult in the world. And I you know, and
Speaker 1: my legacy is not the stuff that I've done, the
Speaker 1: things that are on your paper, the questions, your ass.
Speaker 1: My legacy is going to be the person that I
Speaker 1: was to them, the grandfather that I was. That's the stuff.
Speaker 1: The friend that I was to people. That's what people
Speaker 1: are going to remember. Yeah, oh, and that's.
Speaker 2: Super important to me.
Speaker 4: You're so wise.
Speaker 2: I'm not wise like this is.
Speaker 1: I'm standing on the back and the shoulders of many people.
Speaker 2: This is just all stuff that I've learned along the way.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 3: I have so much in here, but I don't care
Speaker 3: because this is the This is the good stuff. This
Speaker 3: is the good stuff. And this sort of dovetails. I
Speaker 3: know people want to ask you about your relationships a lot.
Speaker 3: I'm less interested in that to be to be honest, okay,
Speaker 3: you know it's a little gossipy, but but I do
Speaker 3: want to know.
Speaker 4: And this kind of goes back to something we're talking about.
Speaker 3: I want to know at your age, when you look back,
Speaker 3: how you think about your love life. Do you look
Speaker 3: back with regrets, do you look back with that was
Speaker 3: that was all learning. Do you look back like, man,
Speaker 3: I could have been better here, or how do you
Speaker 3: look back?
Speaker 1: For sure, I looking back on your life, you can
Speaker 1: always look back and think I could have done that better.
Speaker 2: Hindsight is twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I look back on all this stuff and I
Speaker 1: called that was just the dumbest What was I thinking?
Speaker 2: You know? What was I doing?
Speaker 1: But no, I wouldn't change any of it because all
Speaker 1: of it has led me to what I have now
Speaker 1: and who I am now. And I absolutely love myself,
Speaker 1: not in like a narcissistant, yeah, sick way, but I
Speaker 1: couldn't be I couldn't feel more comfortable in my skin.
Speaker 1: I couldn't be in a better relationship. My fiance is
Speaker 1: just amazing. She's such an amazing step mom to the kids.
Speaker 1: She's such an amazing mother. So it took these stumbles
Speaker 1: and dumb things to do that. Yeah, yeah, it's you know,
Speaker 1: you don't it's it's rare unless you have a perfect
Speaker 1: family where it's like your mom and dad are still
Speaker 1: married and things are great, and you've got this example
Speaker 1: in front of you of like, oh, this is the
Speaker 1: healthy way that it's supposed to happen, right, then you
Speaker 1: move usually into a healthy thing to start.
Speaker 2: My parents are still together. They have an amazing relationship now,
Speaker 2: but they were learning and growing as I was younger,
Speaker 2: and so they made mistakes and I saw those mistakes,
Speaker 2: and so then it made me kind of go out
Speaker 2: into the world and go I want the opposite of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, okay, well that's the opposite is you know,
Speaker 1: that's a tough jungle that you're choosing to be in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, well I like that.
Speaker 3: I always I'm always curious about how people look back
Speaker 3: at the totality of something, the totality of their career,
Speaker 3: the totality of the relationships they are interpersonal relationships.
Speaker 4: I just think it's it's such an insight.
Speaker 2: We have this really cool thing too.
Speaker 1: Like, like I said before, I'm turning fifty two this year,
Speaker 1: and for me, I like some people go through midlife
Speaker 1: crisis and.
Speaker 2: All of that. Yeah, I so don't like.
Speaker 1: I I love the concept of this is the second
Speaker 1: act of my life because if I look at the
Speaker 1: first act, I had a long fucking life.
Speaker 2: I did a lot of it, did a lot. Yeah,
Speaker 2: from like.
Speaker 1: Being an infant all through school all through my twenties,
Speaker 1: like finding myself, making mistakes, doing shit. So now I
Speaker 1: get to start this second act from who I am
Speaker 1: now forward.
Speaker 3: But how did you get to a place where you
Speaker 3: could embrace that? Because that's a scary place for a
Speaker 3: lot of people to be.
Speaker 2: Which is what leads to the life of what choice do?
Speaker 2: I ask?
Speaker 4: Sure?
Speaker 3: But you're looking at it so intentionally and saying my
Speaker 3: intention is to embrace this.
Speaker 4: And be excited about it.
Speaker 2: Led me to this. It's so great that life has
Speaker 2: led me to this, Like I took.
Speaker 1: It took four and a half years for me to
Speaker 1: confidently walk and talk again.
Speaker 2: So if I can live through.
Speaker 1: That, yeah, all the rest of the ship right, it's
Speaker 1: all they're tiny little things.
Speaker 3: They're simple on a scale of one to ten, one
Speaker 3: being never, ten being daily. How often do you think
Speaker 3: about your mortality?
Speaker 2: I one, you don't. I don't.
Speaker 4: What's that like? Sounds amazing? I'm jealous? What is that like?
Speaker 2: It's you don't have any control over it?
Speaker 1: Yes, I've I've really realized in life that the only
Speaker 1: thing I have control over is who I choose to be.
Speaker 2: Today while living life. Right, life does this?
Speaker 1: Yes, it's gonna do this for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: Who do you want to be during all of it?
Speaker 1: Do you want to be somebody that like rises when
Speaker 1: it's during the fucking highs and then hits the really
Speaker 1: low lows when it's Or do you want to be
Speaker 1: someone that is, like, I'm going to in a healthy
Speaker 1: way deal with this if something is really hard or
Speaker 1: I'm really sad about it. It's fine to be sad, yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, but that doesn't mean sad to the point
Speaker 1: of cutting everybody else out and not listening, like not
Speaker 1: you know, being conscious in what in the choices that
Speaker 1: you're making every day and being the best person you can.
Speaker 2: It's just a choice.
Speaker 1: Like, it's not you're not either bred better than someone
Speaker 1: or worse than someone.
Speaker 2: It's all just a choice.
Speaker 1: You're either going to choose every single day to wake
Speaker 1: up and go okay and every situation.
Speaker 2: Who do I want to be in this moment?
Speaker 1: Do I want to be somebody that like is goes
Speaker 1: flies off the fucking hook rightly? Or do I want
Speaker 1: to sit back and take a breath and go okay,
Speaker 1: Like my nature is to react this way, but that
Speaker 1: is not the best choice right now, and I do
Speaker 1: I do it all the time, you know when when
Speaker 1: people say that your first instinct when someone says something
Speaker 1: shitty about you is you want to defend yourself. Yes,
Speaker 1: you want to like say whatever you need to say
Speaker 1: to clear your name. But is that the best thing
Speaker 1: to do at times? And if it's not on social media?
Speaker 1: If not, then don't fucking do it?
Speaker 4: Yeah, right right?
Speaker 1: Because people forget about this this shit that other people say,
Speaker 1: you leave it alone.
Speaker 2: It goes away in a day.
Speaker 1: You know, the world now they they they forget in
Speaker 1: thirty fucking minutes because a new story is out that
Speaker 1: takes total, huge precedence over somebody saying you were nasty
Speaker 1: at something, yeah, you know, or or you cheated them
Speaker 1: out of ten dollars on a thing like fucking cares?
Speaker 2: Yeah, who cares?
Speaker 4: I mean, that's good advice for everyone. But yeah, but
Speaker 4: that's not easy. It's not easy.
Speaker 1: Monks live on the top of a fucking hill because
Speaker 1: they literally can't have people around them.
Speaker 2: They're like, I need to live all by myself.
Speaker 4: The only way I can do that, Yeah, and.
Speaker 1: Scrub floors and do whatever I have to do to
Speaker 1: like stay focused. So it's not easy, but everybody is like, oh,
Speaker 1: monks are like these magical people that you know are
Speaker 1: able to live on It's.
Speaker 2: Like, no, no, they're not.
Speaker 1: They just make the choice to do that, to fucking
Speaker 1: live that way. It's not like in their DNA right right,
Speaker 1: They're not you know, more special that.
Speaker 2: They're just making higher level choices. Yeah, that's all.
Speaker 4: So what do you think happens when we die? I
Speaker 4: have no idea and that's okay.
Speaker 2: It's it has to be like what choice do I have?
Speaker 2: I have no idea and I'm going to die. Yes,
Speaker 2: it's going to happen.
Speaker 1: It's absolutely gonna but it's happened before because so I
Speaker 1: believe in rebirth. I belie leave in okay, you know,
Speaker 1: living multiple lives and having different experiences and your spirit
Speaker 1: and your soul kind of learning and growing as it
Speaker 1: goes until it gets to a lifetime where it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: I've like I'm done here now I'm going to go
Speaker 1: when I die, I'm going to go do who fucking knows.
Speaker 3: That's the premise of Have you seen a movie called
Speaker 3: Defending Your Life? No, Albert Brooks and Meryl Street. Really
Speaker 3: this is the prime. It's a comedy, but this is
Speaker 3: the premise that that you keep getting sent back to
Speaker 3: Earth to learn and it's a new life and you've
Speaker 3: learned that, and then when you're finally done, then you
Speaker 3: move on. And I think that's a concept that is
Speaker 3: both very comforting, right, but it also kind of makes sense,
Speaker 3: like it would make.
Speaker 1: Sense why you meet You meet old souls all the
Speaker 1: time exactly, and then don't you also meet people that
Speaker 1: are obviously young literally just cannot fucking get into another
Speaker 1: They can't like you, you spend two hours talking to
Speaker 1: him about something and they're like, so I really just
Speaker 1: need to like borrow fifteen hundred bucks, you know, because
Speaker 1: and you're like, wow, none of that's soaked in at all.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Those are the people that it's like, okay, you know,
Speaker 1: the next time, like it's you know, when they fucking
Speaker 1: call it quits and things go wrong, it's like you'll
Speaker 1: be back in like, you know, thirty days.
Speaker 4: That's so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And then you've got the old souls where you go, oh,
Speaker 1: you've been here before, you've been you've been doing this.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Our Sean and I are our baby who's a couple
Speaker 1: months away from three, which is cool. It's crazy how
Speaker 1: fast it happens. Yeah. He at the point when he
Speaker 1: was born, I was holding him and he was looking
Speaker 1: around the room like I've been here before.
Speaker 2: Stop it.
Speaker 1: You're not not like crying, not like oh my god,
Speaker 1: where am I What's going on? He just had that
Speaker 1: thing of like.
Speaker 2: I'm here again.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: He had that look in his eye. And he he
Speaker 2: is incredibly He wants.
Speaker 1: To do everything on his own. He hates being a baby.
Speaker 1: You can tell, Oh my god, he hates it. Everything
Speaker 1: is like I can do it, I want to do it.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's like stepstools and climb on the
Speaker 1: things and pour the stuff and do like it's he
Speaker 1: wants to do all of.
Speaker 2: It because he hates it.
Speaker 1: When you do it for him, you can tell he's
Speaker 1: uncomfortable in being in being a baby and dependent.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he hates it.
Speaker 4: That's fascinating.
Speaker 1: I wish that I didn't have to keep changing his
Speaker 1: diaper and wiping his ass Like I wish he had more,
Speaker 1: you know, sival.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish. I wish he was like, oh, let
Speaker 2: me fix this.
Speaker 1: Also, like body training doesn't seem that hard in the
Speaker 1: grand scheme of things. Sit on a fucking fake toilet
Speaker 1: and figure this ship out because I'm tired of wiping
Speaker 1: your ass.
Speaker 2: But you know, all the rest of it. He wants
Speaker 2: to do all of it.
Speaker 4: Oh that's great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to end with the Lightning Round and these.
Speaker 4: Are fun and fast and okay, let's do it easy. Okay,
Speaker 4: let's go. What is your love language?
Speaker 2: My love language is acts of service.
Speaker 4: Okay, yep, this is a quiz. What was the fictional name?
Speaker 2: So fast we've moved on from the Lightning Round. Okay,
Speaker 2: this is the Lightning round.
Speaker 4: Inside the Lightning Round.
Speaker 3: What was the fictional name of the record producer for
Speaker 3: Icon Records who wanted to produce David's album?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Zach No fantastic surge? Right? Was it
Speaker 2: really so close to surge? Tankian?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: There you go there, just to move it down.
Speaker 4: Do you still talk to Douglas Emerson?
Speaker 2: I do, yeah, for people you don't know.
Speaker 4: He played Scott's friend. He was sort of nerdy. You
Speaker 4: kind of moved on.
Speaker 2: From him and shot himself accentally memorable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so Doug. Doug joined the Navy after the show.
Speaker 1: He served for years and he he lives at home
Speaker 1: with his wife and his kids.
Speaker 2: And he's a fantastic human being.
Speaker 4: I love that. What was your least favorite episode?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, all of them? Stop. I So I
Speaker 2: was so that's okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've talked about it a million times. I was
Speaker 1: so fucking insecure, and I was. I did the show
Speaker 1: from seventeen to twenty seven, so it was like the
Speaker 1: most formidable years of my life. And I hated the
Speaker 1: fact that so many people were watching it. So I
Speaker 1: was just like, I didn't want to look at anybody
Speaker 1: in the eye because you.
Speaker 4: Were in a microscope.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's I.
Speaker 1: Was going through the hardest fucking time of your life
Speaker 1: with you know, one hundred and ninety countries watching our show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and like sleeping on our pillowcases and shadow.
Speaker 2: I don't want anything to do with any of this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay. What's your favorite movie?
Speaker 2: Jaws?
Speaker 1: Oh my god?
Speaker 4: My husband, who's here?
Speaker 2: You met him?
Speaker 4: That's his too?
Speaker 2: Is it really? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Okay. What was your best vacation?
Speaker 1: Uh, I've been to Australia a few times now, and
Speaker 1: I think that is spot. I that's my spot, and
Speaker 1: uh Kona is my spot? Oh yeah, the Fort Jwalai
Speaker 1: and ConA, Oh my God.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I go there with the kids and it's like, I
Speaker 2: do you.
Speaker 4: Like a vista?
Speaker 2: I do? Yeah.
Speaker 4: What's your favorite restaurant?
Speaker 1: My favorite restaurant is it's a sushi place, awesin Abo.
Speaker 1: It's on Ventura Bolivar, Okay and Laurel Canyon. It's in
Speaker 1: this tiny little strip mall and it's the best Japanese food.
Speaker 4: Sushi is like I mean, not always.
Speaker 1: But Ventura Boulevard, yeah, crazy enough has some of the
Speaker 1: best sushi in the country.
Speaker 2: So say that, I don't know why. Austin Abo, Okay,
Speaker 2: that's where I'm going.
Speaker 1: It'll it'll literally be one of the best meals you've
Speaker 1: ever eaten. I've sent people there that are like foodies
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh my god, that place. They go
Speaker 1: there all the time.
Speaker 3: Now restaurants are my thing, So okay, I'm gonna go.
Speaker 3: H The last question is the most important to me
Speaker 3: spiritually and culturally.
Speaker 4: When is it iced coffee season?
Speaker 2: For me? It's never ice coffee season.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, Ever, I like when it's boiling hot outside,
Speaker 1: I'll still get a hot like chilate that person.
Speaker 4: That guy, Yeah, I mean that that's fine.
Speaker 2: Right, but it's right totally.
Speaker 3: No, because I'm from Massachusetts. Dunk and Donuts. It's a
Speaker 3: part of who I am.
Speaker 2: It's like very in Massachusetts. Aren't you doing hot coffee
Speaker 2: a lot of the time?
Speaker 3: Never, it's always iced, it's always ice in freezing temperature.
Speaker 3: Big is wrong with you? Yeah, yeah, it's it's real.
Speaker 3: It's a part of my like where it is with you.
Speaker 3: I know, I know, but that's okay, that's okay. We
Speaker 3: can still be friends.
Speaker 2: We can't still be friends.
Speaker 4: I really loved this. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having I can talk to
Speaker 2: you all night, for reaching out. What you will.
Speaker 1: You're going to come on my show the next time
Speaker 1: you're in and then we're going to do more of this.
Speaker 2: I would love that.
Speaker 4: This was a very soul enriching conversation. It made me
Speaker 4: feel good. Thank you, Thanks Brian.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 4: Next week on Off the Cup, Donnie Deutsch.
Speaker 5: I remember getting in college the first day and meeting
Speaker 5: all these kids that you know, had their own BMW's,
Speaker 5: and I just remember I couldn't wait to play cards
Speaker 5: with them and take their money, you know, and because
Speaker 5: they didn't have but the one thing they didn't have,
Speaker 5: they didn't have both the street smarts, and they didn't
Speaker 5: have the same hunger I had.
Speaker 3: Off the Cup is a production of iHeart Podcasts as
Speaker 3: part of the Reason Choice Network.
Speaker 4: If you want more, check out the other.
Speaker 3: Reason Choice podcasts Spolitics with Jamel Hill and Native Land Pod.
Speaker 3: For Off the Cup, I am your host Se Cup.
Speaker 3: Editing and sound design by Derek Clements.
Speaker 4: Our executive producers are me Se Cup.
Speaker 3: Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman. Rate and review wherever you
Speaker 3: get your podcasts, Follow or subscribe for new episodes every Wednesday.