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Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, Hey, is this Lyle?

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Speaker 2: This is what is your name? Uh?

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Speaker 1: I'm Coco.

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Speaker 2: Coco. What's up? Coco? How's life going? We're recording the

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Speaker 2: show right now? Is that cool? Do you want to talk?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I saw. I was hoping i'd be able to

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Speaker 1: get on.

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Speaker 2: Actually, well, Coco, what's going on? How's life well?

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Speaker 1: Longtime listener, first time caller. Wait for a minute.

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Speaker 3: Rock and roll, rock and roll.

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Speaker 1: I often joke that I'm your oldest listener because I'm

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Speaker 1: almost forty. But I did hear somebody the other day

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Speaker 1: who I think was thirty nine, So that made me.

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Speaker 1: That made me feel atle bit better.

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Speaker 2: I think it's general. I mean it's a lot of

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Speaker 2: I think like eighteen to twenty five year old, but

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Speaker 2: there's people all over the all over the bend. I mean, shit,

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Speaker 2: we had a I totally talked to some lady who

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Speaker 2: was like fifty something and some lady was like sixty something.

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Speaker 2: So I would not say you're the oldest in the bunch.

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Speaker 1: Okay, makes me feel better, It makes me feel better. Well,

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Speaker 1: I've gotten the pleasure of seeing you live a few times,

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Speaker 1: and definitely I've seen you in Dallas twice, and I

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Speaker 1: saw you in Orlando.

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Speaker 2: Oh cool interest two very not connected at all cities.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, not at all. I had a little condo

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Speaker 1: in Florida about an hour away from Orlando, so I

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Speaker 1: was always kind of looking and hoping and praying that,

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Speaker 1: you know, you would somehow make an appearance there, so

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Speaker 1: I had an excuse to drive out there.

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Speaker 2: So well, yeah, I'm glad you came. Yeah, I was

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Speaker 2: just thinking about those those shows, not like those particular shows,

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Speaker 2: but I guess that tour and yeah it was. I

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Speaker 2: mean it was a good time because I feel very

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Speaker 2: honored to have gotten to do.

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Speaker 3: Any of that.

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Speaker 2: But you know enough about me, Coco, you said that

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Speaker 2: you are. I've been wanting to call into the show

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Speaker 2: for a while and if I wanted to give you

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Speaker 2: the chance, if is there anything particular you wanted to

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Speaker 2: call into the show to talk about. If not, it's cool,

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Speaker 2: we can just shoot the shit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, for sure. So a lot of life

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Speaker 1: changes have happened for me since I saw you last while.

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Speaker 1: So I am currently going through divorce after thirteen years

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Speaker 1: of being married. So for a hot minute, so I

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Speaker 1: feel like I have some wisdom maybe to offer in

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Speaker 1: that department. Maybe for some people. So yeah, And actually

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Speaker 1: at one of your shows, at one point you had asked,

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Speaker 1: is there anybody in here that's been married for ten

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Speaker 1: years or longer? And my husband and I at the

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Speaker 1: time are the only ones that raised our hands. So

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Speaker 1: I'm here to deliver some precautionary tales maybe to some

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Speaker 1: people who want to listen.

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Speaker 2: Sure, what do you have to precaution us about?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, Lyle, I feel like people are always

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Speaker 1: kind of right telling you what you need to do,

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Speaker 1: how you need to approach going into this, how cautious

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Speaker 1: you need to be, all of the questions that you

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Speaker 1: need to ask all of the time that you should wait.

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Speaker 1: But I'm definitely I'm an example of how you can

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Speaker 1: do all of those things and it's still not work out.

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Speaker 3: Hm.

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Speaker 2: So I mean, I guess in short, I'm sure there's

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Speaker 2: a lot of reasons, and I don't know, you know,

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Speaker 2: what you want to talk about and what you don't

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Speaker 2: want to talk about, But why did it not work

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Speaker 2: out after thirteen years at this point?

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Speaker 1: So I kind of I kind of walked around for

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Speaker 1: a long time carrying a lot of shame over exactly why,

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Speaker 1: or not really wanting to tell people what exactly happened,

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Speaker 1: but I kind of told like one person, and so

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Speaker 1: now it's just easy for me to trauma dump for

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Speaker 1: you know, with anybody who wants who wants to hear.

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Speaker 1: So I married a cocaine addict, So I've been I've

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Speaker 1: been dealing with that for the last four years, hoping

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Speaker 1: and praying that maybe he would either you know, come

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Speaker 1: to his senses, maybe he would finally listen to me.

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Speaker 1: Maybe someday he would just wake up and just you know, see, hey,

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Speaker 1: this is like not not a way to live. We

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Speaker 1: as a child together, very successful in his career, making

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Speaker 1: six figures pretty much mostly throughout the entirety of our marriage,

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Speaker 1: which is which is which is awesome, which is great,

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Speaker 1: which is great for him, was great for our family

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Speaker 1: and and all of that. But you know, you can't

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Speaker 1: make somebody else want that for themselves. And I mean,

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Speaker 1: I've I've been listening for such a long time. There

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Speaker 1: there are so many people who call in and and

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Speaker 1: struggle with this, either that would be know personally or

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Speaker 1: or with a partner like I have. And yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean you can you can lead a horse to water,

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Speaker 1: but you can't make him drink, right, mm hmmm hm.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I think, uh, I think being married for

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Speaker 1: thirteen years, having you know, close to a decade of

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Speaker 1: really fantastic memories and awesome experiences. I mean, part of

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Speaker 1: the reason we had the you know, condo in Floridas,

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Speaker 1: because he had been very successful in his career, and

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Speaker 1: then the last four years of our marriage. I mean

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Speaker 1: it just I mean it it went downhill quick. It

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Speaker 1: went downhill.

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Speaker 2: I assume he was not addicted to cocaine when you met.

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Speaker 1: Him, not as not that I no, I don't think. So.

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Speaker 1: He was a frat a frat boy, so there was

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Speaker 1: some red flags there lyle for sure, So for sure.

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Speaker 2: How did things begin to go down?

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Speaker 1: So I've spent a lot of time pinpointing maybe when, when, when,

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Speaker 1: when it happened? When did it start? I didn't I

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Speaker 1: didn't use with him or anything like that, And I'm

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Speaker 1: not really sure when when the when the first time was. Again,

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Speaker 1: this is a this is a you know, a frat

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Speaker 1: kid from the suburbs, So I mean could have been

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Speaker 1: at any point in time, right, But I don't want

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Speaker 1: to say it's a common trope, But there are definitely

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Speaker 1: a group of people who you know, started going to

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Speaker 1: doctors for legitimate pain care management and kind of got

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Speaker 1: in that that loop of being on pay medication legitimately

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Speaker 1: but still in in that in that horrible loop. So

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it was after he left to that

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Speaker 1: world behind that he just kind of dove into the

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Speaker 1: deep end of of of coke, honestly.

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Speaker 2: And is that what you would say, is the main

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Speaker 2: issue that led to the divorce or was there kind

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Speaker 2: of anything else peripheral to that?

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Speaker 1: You know, I think that was a huge contributing factor

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Speaker 1: to it. I mean, I know that, you know, drug addiction,

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Speaker 1: you know, doesn't just stand alone. You know, it's it's

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Speaker 1: definitely there's there's other lots of other things that at

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Speaker 1: play that that allow that to to live and thrive. Definitely,

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Speaker 1: he had some challenges throughout his life. Throughout his life,

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Speaker 1: he had a brother that that died when when they

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Speaker 1: were kids, and that had a major impact on their family.

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Speaker 1: My my in laws are very very conservative, very wasty,

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Speaker 1: very let's let's brush things under the rug and let's

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Speaker 1: pretend they didn't happen. So he definitely did not get

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Speaker 1: the mental health care and support that he really needed

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Speaker 1: early on in life. And so I definitely think that

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Speaker 1: that was a major contributing factor to right. Just it

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Speaker 1: set him right up for something, for something like that.

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Speaker 2: And how recently did this happen? That you guys got divorced.

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Speaker 1: So we separated in September. I told his parents. It

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Speaker 1: got to a point one day I went into his

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Speaker 1: office here at our house. I don't know why. Something said,

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Speaker 1: just go look in this briefcasete, go look in this pocket.

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Speaker 1: So what in his office? Put my hand in the

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Speaker 1: first pocket, pulled out a handful of about seventy to

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Speaker 1: eighty empty baggies of coke. Yeah, it was a lot.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't like I found one. I was like, damn you,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe you did this. I mean that this

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Speaker 1: was like one instance in a long line of things,

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Speaker 1: but in terms of the divorce popping off, that that

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Speaker 1: really what sets things off. So I found those and

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Speaker 1: I just kind of freaked out. And I had caught

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Speaker 1: him in other ways before, never at that level, but

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Speaker 1: it was at that time when I thought to myself, Okay,

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Speaker 1: holy shit, like this is beyond me. I can't handle

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Speaker 1: this alone. There's just no way. There's no me talking

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Speaker 1: to him this time. There's no me threatening him this

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Speaker 1: time that in any way, shape or form is going

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Speaker 1: to be appropriate for handling something this big. So that

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Speaker 1: was in May of last year, and so I call

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Speaker 1: his parents, which again, you know, there are people who

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Speaker 1: you know, don't don't really think that there's any problems,

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Speaker 1: and if there are, we're gonna we're gonna cover them

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Speaker 1: on up. So I called his mom and tears, saying, look,

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Speaker 1: there's this problem, and there's this big problem, and it's

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Speaker 1: out of my control. I can't handle it anymore. I

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Speaker 1: quite frankly, I don't know what to do. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm embarrassed. I'm mortified that I'm coming to you telling

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Speaker 1: you about, you know, your son and this problem. But

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Speaker 1: there was definitely a huge weight lifted off my shoulders

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Speaker 1: because she immediately said to me, like, this makes so

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Speaker 1: much sense with everything we've seen with him sleeping till

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Speaker 1: ten eleven noon, and you know again we have we

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Speaker 1: have a child together. Yeah, yeah, we're trying to maintain

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Speaker 1: a life, a family and all all this other you know,

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Speaker 1: all all all the other stuff that goes along with that.

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Speaker 1: So that was in May and last year, and I

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Speaker 1: mean basically it was us staging interventions time and time

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Speaker 1: and time again for him just to say no, or

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Speaker 1: say I'll go and see a therapist, not i'll go

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Speaker 1: to treatment, not I'll go and do impatient or output.

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Speaker 1: And he would never agree to anything like that. He

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Speaker 1: would only ever settle for going to see a therapist

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Speaker 1: once a week. Who who told me at one point

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Speaker 1: and she lost all credibility to me when she said that, well,

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Speaker 1: I think weeds just as bad as coke. So and

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I really am not trusting

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Speaker 1: any of the choices he's making right now. But I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: I definitely wasn't confident in him, in him wanting or

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Speaker 1: maintaining sobriety on his on his own, I was pretty clear.

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Speaker 1: But so it was just me and his parents time

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Speaker 1: and time again. I spent time with his parents coming

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Speaker 1: up with lists of different rehabs and pros and cons

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Speaker 1: and you know, just kind of a game plan and

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Speaker 1: a game plan for our family and our life and

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Speaker 1: our finances because between you know, that time and basically

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Speaker 1: the time that we split up, I mean, any money

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Speaker 1: that we had just gone. He took out a one

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Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars loan from his parents, which I didn't

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Speaker 1: know about, which again big privilege. Totally understand that that's

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Speaker 1: a huge deal. And I mean, my family could could

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Speaker 1: never do that for me, and shouldn't. No, I mean,

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Speaker 1: really they were just enabling him at the end of

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Speaker 1: the day, I mean clearly. But I mean by this time,

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Speaker 1: I mean, he had not only just put our family

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Speaker 1: in danger, but we were just you know, close to

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Speaker 1: financial ruin at that point, and it was it was

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Speaker 1: an everyday thing, was I was learning. So we're basically

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Speaker 1: through the divorce process right now. We're waiting for the

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Speaker 1: divorce decree to be signed off on. But September fourth

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Speaker 1: of this year will mark a year, and I gave

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Speaker 1: him the ultimatum. Actually all of us did either either

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Speaker 1: leave or go get help, and he refused to go

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Speaker 1: get help. So he ended up we have the condo

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Speaker 1: in Florida, so he ended up taking off to go

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Speaker 1: live there, and he was there for about three months.

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Speaker 1: Don't really know what he was doing. I mean I

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Speaker 1: can only imagine. I mean, shit, as Cox you know,

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Speaker 1: not hard to get in Texas, It's sure as hell

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Speaker 1: not hard to get in Florida. So he spent three

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Speaker 1: months out there doing god knows what while I stayed

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Speaker 1: here with our with our kid and did everything and

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Speaker 1: paid for everything, and you know, all of the soccer

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Speaker 1: mom things and football mom things and the lunches and

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Speaker 1: me nat agting a new a new career and all

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Speaker 1: of that, while he just took off and did god

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Speaker 1: knows what.

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Speaker 2: M hm, how old is your kid? He's thirteen thirteen, Okay,

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Speaker 2: so he's not. This is not like a little kid

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Speaker 2: who doesn't know what's going on. This is like a yeah,

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Speaker 2: oh yeah, man, so what so dude? I mean, like,

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Speaker 2: so he just goes off for three months and he

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Speaker 2: has no contact with with your son.

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Speaker 1: He had minimal contact with him, but but definitely nothing meaningful,

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Speaker 1: and you know, just ceased to be, you know, a

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Speaker 1: fixture in his everyday life like the key had known

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Speaker 1: right for for all of his thirteen years. And and

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Speaker 1: our son is our only, our only child, and he's

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Speaker 1: incredibly bright. I've just you know, only have one. So

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Speaker 1: I've just funk everything into him, for better or for worse.

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Speaker 1: And I mean in some ways he handled it more

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Speaker 1: maturely than I did, which was which is just incredible.

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Speaker 1: But point before before his dad took off, I took

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Speaker 1: him on a walk and I said, hey, I think

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Speaker 1: it was definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done,

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Speaker 1: if not the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

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Speaker 1: And I had to tell him, Hey, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you're noticing, I don't know, you notice your dad is

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Speaker 1: sleeping until this this time, and you notice that he's irritable,

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Speaker 1: and you're noticing this, and and there's a reason, and that's, honey,

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Speaker 1: because that's that's because you know your dad is on

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Speaker 1: drugs and totally mortifying, totally, I mean, just all of

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Speaker 1: the things, even though of course, I mean I know,

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Speaker 1: I know now and I knew then that it's not

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Speaker 1: my fault. There's nothing that I'm doing wrong, but you know,

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Speaker 1: just having to admit that to your kid, and of course,

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Speaker 1: I mean, his his natural first first a question was

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Speaker 1: you know, what is it? And I just didn't want

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Speaker 1: to tell him. And I didn't necessarily think that that

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Speaker 1: was completely relevant that he needed to know. I know that,

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Speaker 1: you know, if I were in his situation, I would

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Speaker 1: be of course just you know, completely curious about everything.

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Speaker 1: But I just, you know, I didn't I think that

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Speaker 1: at that time. I just thought he needs to know

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Speaker 1: the facts, and I don't you know, need to tell

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Speaker 1: him that his dads are raging Koquead, this is this

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Speaker 1: is not the time yet, This is not the time yet.

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Speaker 1: So he he knew that things were going on, and

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Speaker 1: he knew things between his dad and I were not

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Speaker 1: in a good place because, you know, we were fighting,

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Speaker 1: we were arguing. You know, I would love to say

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Speaker 1: that we were a couple where we never fought in

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Speaker 1: front of our child. Now that's just absolutely not not true.

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Speaker 1: You know, it got so bad that we would bleed,

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Speaker 1: you know, into just anything that we were doing, you know,

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Speaker 1: because it was just this this dark cloud that hung

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Speaker 1: over us for for just so long. And so he

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Speaker 1: didn't know for a while what what his dad had

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Speaker 1: been doing. But his dad took it upon himself to

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Speaker 1: tell our son that that that that his dad was

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Speaker 1: dealing with with a cocaine cocaine problem.

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Speaker 2: So you told your son before your husband decided he

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Speaker 2: wanted to tell him right right? And then how did

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Speaker 2: what was it? What was the distance between that? Like

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Speaker 2: was there a period of time where like you wanted

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Speaker 2: him to just tell your son directly and he wouldn't,

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Speaker 2: or like, how how did that kind of play out?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 1: I just I never to me, I guess it wasn't

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Speaker 1: so much about what it was. I didn't feel like

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Speaker 1: that that was like super relevant, you know. I didn't

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Speaker 1: think he needed to know that his dad had a

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Speaker 1: coke problem versus cane told problem versus whatever kind of problem.

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Speaker 1: I just felt like it wasn't Oh sure.

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Speaker 2: No, no, I guess I don't. I don't mean, yeah,

296
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Speaker 2: I know, I don't mean like what it was. But

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Speaker 2: I guess it's like, uh, telling you son that he

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Speaker 2: had some kind of drug problem.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh, so I mean that was I mean that

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Speaker 1: I I spearheaded that if that's kind of what you're asking, Uh,

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Speaker 1: he he had, Yeah. I mean, my my ex husband

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Speaker 1: had had no idea that I was going to tell him.

303
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Speaker 1: And to be honest, I'm not even quite sure if

304
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Speaker 1: he knew when I did, because at the time he

305
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Speaker 1: was still living here, you know, we were still holding out

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Speaker 1: hope where we were still you know, somehow thinking that

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Speaker 1: you know, the next intervention, he's he's gonna he's gonna

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Speaker 1: do it this time. And and you know this is somebody,

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Speaker 1: you know again who has all these resources at his disposal.

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Speaker 1: You know, the people deal with this stuff all the time,

311
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Speaker 1: and they don't have means to go to rehab. They

312
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Speaker 1: don't have means to go kick off to you know,

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Speaker 1: fucking Florida condo or whatever bullshit.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: So you know, I guess just in my my heart

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Speaker 1: of hearts is just hoping, you know, eventually he was

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Speaker 1: going to say yes, I don't really My only goal

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Speaker 1: I think was telling our son was just somehow, you know,

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Speaker 1: giving him some idea that like, what you're seeing, you know,

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Speaker 1: isn't normal and it's a result of something like this,

321
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Speaker 1: you know, it's a result of drugs. And again, my

322
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:28,359
Speaker 1: our son is very mature, and and you know, other

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Speaker 1: than him saying like what is it, his next his

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Speaker 1: next response which it still always blows me away in

325
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Speaker 1: saying like, well, you know, he must be really struggling

326
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Speaker 1: a lot if he feels like he has to do that.

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Speaker 1: She's like who, Like, holy shit, I'm like she gets it.

328
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Speaker 1: And so I definitely feel like telling him was was

329
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Speaker 1: the right was the right thing to do. But I

330
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Speaker 1: also had a feeling like, you know, some shit's about

331
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Speaker 1: to go down, and I don't want to completely just

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Speaker 1: blindside our child and make him, you know, I don't

333
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 1: want to give him this false sense that things are great,

334
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 1: and you know, he's hearing this arguing and he's seeing

335
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Speaker 1: his dad sleep and not work and all this stuff.

336
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the writing was on the wall

337
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:17,239
Speaker 1: for sure, but I definitely think that it was it

338
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 1: was the right thing to do to, you know, give

339
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:24,720
Speaker 1: him a heads up in hopes of giving him some clarity. Right,

340
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 1: so he knew he knew about it. And again this

341
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,439
Speaker 1: is like from a period of like from May to

342
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 1: September of last year. So I finally tell him after

343
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: finding those you know, seventy eighty bags of coke or whatever,

344
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 1: and going back and forth with his parents just begging

345
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 1: him to go get help, and you know, still staying

346
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 1: all the fine, nothing has changed, you know, Like I

347
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 1: knew it was bad when the only time that we

348
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 1: could get along was when he was high. I mean,

349
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,080
Speaker 1: the only time I would ever want to approach him

350
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,360
Speaker 1: about anything or ask him to do something was when

351
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 1: he was high, because that was the only time that

352
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 1: you know, he was kind, that he was agreeable, that

353
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 1: he would listen, you know. So it was this this

354
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:19,440
Speaker 1: really you know, sick cycle of you know, but of

355
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: just but then also just noticing he's just going further

356
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:25,200
Speaker 1: and further off the defence. It's it's just it's getting

357
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:29,679
Speaker 1: worse and worse. And so one day he would have

358
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 1: always fall asleep. Obviously he would sleep to like eleven

359
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,679
Speaker 1: and twelve all that kind of stuff, which again no

360
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,919
Speaker 1: judgment that, you know, we got a kid in a

361
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 1: house and all that kind of crap, you know, And

362
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,919
Speaker 1: he fell asleep with his phone open. And I'm not

363
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 1: a woman that's going to go through somebody's phone. I

364
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,399
Speaker 1: don't we do on each other's passwords. I just I

365
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,960
Speaker 1: don't think that's any way to live. But I knew

366
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 1: the app that he had been messaging with his dealer

367
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:59,120
Speaker 1: on and just being a dumb ass, you know, leaves

368
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 1: it on his Homeskoe Green doesn't leave it password protected,

369
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 1: which for some reason, I don't know why that bugged me.

370
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 1: I guess it was just because it was like so flippant.

371
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 1: It was just all like I don't care, you know,

372
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 1: I'm not even try to it was you from any

373
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 1: of this.

374
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I could see why I would piss you off.

375
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm hmm, Like come on, man, like you know,

376
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 1: to do something, try to hide something. So for some

377
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 1: reason my friends laugh about that, but that was for

378
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 1: some reason, that was really a really sore.

379
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 3: Spot for me.

380
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 1: But I finally, I finally get in there, and I

381
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 1: see the messages to and from his dealer, and it's wile,

382
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 1: it's every single day, It's every day, it's every night,

383
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: you know, like I'm an aw comedian convenience store, grab

384
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,880
Speaker 1: you know, a pack of cigarettes, or I'm gonna whatever,

385
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 1: run the store or whatever it was. It was. It

386
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 1: was because he was meeting his dealer, and it had

387
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: it had ramped up, but it was it wasn't even

388
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: further than that. I found out that he was having

389
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: drugs drug off when we were at home, and you know,

390
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,199
Speaker 1: the guy would roll through the alley, put it in

391
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,120
Speaker 1: the trash, can't put it in the mailbox, hide it wherever.

392
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 1: And I mean, this is again when me and our

393
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,639
Speaker 1: you know, our twelve year old son are you know,

394
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: at home doing homework, you know, just picked him up

395
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 1: from school or you know whatever, you know, normal type

396
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 1: of thing we're trying to do, and you know, we've

397
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 1: got some drug dealer rolling by the house and dropping

398
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,160
Speaker 1: off drugs while we're there. So of course, of course

399
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 1: that was super concerning but then I think also the

400
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 1: final the straw that broke the camel's back for me

401
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 1: because I didn't just find that, I found out that

402
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 1: he had been arranging the half prostitutes to our home.

403
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 1: So I mean, just completely in total violation of this

404
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 1: you know, sacred space that I thought that we had,

405
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: despite you know, this glary.

406
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 3: You.

407
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,720
Speaker 1: And that was it for me. I thought, well, you know,

408
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,880
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't be married to somebody who I'm

409
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,160
Speaker 1: just never going to let touch me again because that's

410
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 1: just never going to happen. And that's it, like this

411
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 1: has to be it, you know. And that was again

412
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 1: when I went to his parents, I said that, and

413
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 1: I didn't to this day, as far as I know,

414
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: they don't know either of those things. I didn't. I

415
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: just didn't think it was relevant. Didn't even want to

416
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 1: go down down that road. Was embarrassed enough that I

417
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 1: had to come out and tell them that their child

418
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: was a coke addict. Was not going to be the

419
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,919
Speaker 1: one that's like, oh hey, and guess what, you know

420
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 1: he likes hookers too, you know, Like it was just

421
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 1: it was just something that I thought, you know, like

422
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 1: this is it. I needed. I needed a you know,

423
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 1: the final nail in the coffin, I guess, and that's

424
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 1: kind of what this is. So I called them up

425
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,920
Speaker 1: and I just said that was it, and I can't

426
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 1: do this anymore, and you're a kid. It's got to

427
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 1: go get help or I'm leaving. I said, straight up,

428
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 1: I'm going to leave. I'm going to pack up the car,

429
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 1: I'm going to pack up our dog, uproot our kids life,

430
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: and we're going to go to the condo in Florida.

431
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 1: So that that was my goal. I obviously had not

432
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 1: thought things through very well, but I wasn't fishing clearly

433
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,919
Speaker 1: through a lot of this stuff. I was just kind of,

434
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 1: you know, like it was like triage, you know. I

435
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: just was trying to clean up whatever disaster or mess

436
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,359
Speaker 1: that I could. And the best way that I could

437
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 1: with with no was you know, there's no guide out there,

438
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 1: at least that I'm aware of. And I just said

439
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,160
Speaker 1: that that's it. And you know, they told me, hey,

440
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 1: you know, why the hell do you need to leave?

441
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,919
Speaker 1: You know, like, your son's in school, you know, you have,

442
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: you know, a life here. You know, why the hell

443
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 1: are you the one leaving? You know, she needs to leave.

444
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 1: I was like Okay, well, yeah that makes sense. I

445
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, okay, well let's you know, let's do that.

446
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 1: So we gave him one final kind of push, and

447
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 1: he just refused to go get help and decided he

448
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: was just going to go take off to Florida. I mean,

449
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 1: he had a place, you know, he it was all

450
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 1: set up, you know, and so he took the out.

451
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 2: He took the out, and and so he just goes

452
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 2: down to Florida for three months and then what happens

453
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 2: when he comes back.

454
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 1: I mean, it was a total shit show.

455
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 3: It was awful.

456
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: It was absolutely awful here I am, so I decided

457
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 1: to go into teaching. I'm an art teacher. For that

458
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 1: first year though, I was just kind of all over

459
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: the place, teaching different you know, grains and different subjects

460
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 1: and just really trying to figure out, like what the

461
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,920
Speaker 1: hell I wanted to do with my life because I

462
00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: knew that this this wasn't gonna work. So I filed

463
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: for divorce, and he filed stuff with his attorney saying,

464
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: I want to take our son to Florida. I'm going

465
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,479
Speaker 1: to move him to Florida. He's going to live here

466
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: full time. I'm going to go to school here. We

467
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 1: have no family there. My parents had had a little

468
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,360
Speaker 1: beach house there for a little bit, which is why

469
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 1: I got the condo. They sold it. We have no

470
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 1: family there, there's no reason for us to be there.

471
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 1: And I mean that's not that like the schools are

472
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: great in Texas, but they're definitely not good in Florida.

473
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:36,680
Speaker 1: And so his goal was to just take our kid

474
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 1: and kind of just go and live the life he

475
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 1: wanted to live with again, of course, not having gotten

476
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:46,199
Speaker 1: any help, not when you know, suck, any treatment or

477
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: anything like that. So I file in October, and he

478
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: goes back and forth with his attorney in mind trying

479
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 1: to get all of this craft that he wants, thinking

480
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: somehow that he is going to be able to take

481
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:03,879
Speaker 1: our son before and I guess somebody somewhere, you know,

482
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 1: knock some sense into him and said like, hey, dude,

483
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 1: like you know that, like you're not going to be

484
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 1: able to have like take y'all's kid and move him

485
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 1: to Florida. You know, like you had a drug problem.

486
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 1: And outside of that, they don't do that. They don't

487
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: they don't let they don't let one parents, you know,

488
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: take their child across the country. And just keep them there,

489
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 1: you know, and you know, he thought, well, our son's

490
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: old enough, you know, he he's allowed to choose where

491
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:34,959
Speaker 1: he wants to be. And unfortunately, and it was really heartbreaking,

492
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 1: but my son really wanted to.

493
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 3: Be with his dad.

494
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 1: He wanted to go live in Florida, which I also

495
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 1: can't blame him. I mean, it's you know, it's like

496
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: you're on you know, you're on vacation. All he knows

497
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 1: is being being there and being on vacation, right. He

498
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: doesn't know what it's like to live there. So it

499
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 1: was it was heartbreaking to be the parent doing everything

500
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 1: day and day out, and you know, having a child

501
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 1: who you know wants to go live with his dad,

502
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: you know, arguing with me and saying you knew what

503
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: was in my best interest, which you know was interesting

504
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 1: that you know he phrased it that way. But you know,

505
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:11,479
Speaker 1: if you knew, if you really knew it was in

506
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 1: my best interest, then you would let me go live

507
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 1: with dad. And so that that was also just totally

508
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: heartbreaking to have to have to go through too. Is

509
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 1: you know, feeling like the bad guy. You know, I'm

510
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 1: sure my son is thinking I'm trying to keep him

511
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 1: from his dad. Obviously that's not the case, but you know,

512
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 1: hell yeah, I'm absolutely not going to let him go

513
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 1: live in Florida with his dad full time by himself

514
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: when you have no idea what's going on at all.

515
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 2: Of course, of course, so that.

516
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: That was a major uphill battle. But the probably the

517
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 1: hardest part for me throughout all of this is I

518
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: had my in laws to really, you know, my to

519
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: lean on. You know, I was very open and honest

520
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 1: about once things went down and what I found and

521
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: what their son was doing. You know, we became very close,

522
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 1: and you know, they were a great support system for me.

523
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: My parents didn't didn't live here, I don't really have

524
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: any family in Texas, so you know, having their support,

525
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: especially during that time, was just incredibly helpful. But somehow,

526
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: some way, I don't I don't know what the moment

527
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 1: was or what the thing what was said, but they

528
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 1: just completely turned on me and went to supporting their

529
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 1: son wholeheartedly, telling me he doesn't have a problem, he's fine. Now.

530
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 1: My mother in law called me and she's like, you, no,

531
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 1: you don't understand. He's fine now, he's fine, And I

532
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 1: had to be like, look, listen, listen, listen, listen. I

533
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 1: want that I hope that I pray for that. I

534
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: hope that he never does it again. You know, in

535
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 1: my heart of hearts that the day he left was

536
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 1: the last day. But like, let's be let's be pragmatic here,

537
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: let's you know, and kind of like look at the

538
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 1: facts and kind of like look at statistics, lady, and like,

539
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: you know, figure out some things here, you know, like, yeah,

540
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: it's highly unlikely that he's clean and sober, and regardless

541
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 1: of that, like, why the hell do you think it

542
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 1: would be okay for him to uproot our child's life,

543
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 1: take him out of mine, and go move him to

544
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: fucking floga, you know? And they could. They really never

545
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 1: had any response to that. They completely stop talking to me,

546
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 1: have nothing to do with me. He told him that

547
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 1: I had at several points quote manic episodes, which just

548
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: makes me laugh because I'm like, anytime I tell people that,

549
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: they're like, well, yeah, I would have after all the

550
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 1: shit that you dealt with. But also I'm like, dude,

551
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: are you really do you you go to a fucking

552
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: therapist who thinks weed is just as bad as coke?

553
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 3: Like, are you really.

554
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 1: Qualified to make that assessment right now, like what a

555
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 1: manic episode is? Dude? Do you really know? So I

556
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 1: don't really know exactly the narrative that he's fun to

557
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 1: his parents to make them just like completely hate me

558
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: over like a matter of like a few weeks. But

559
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: so they just they rallied behind him. And obviously he

560
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: comes from generational wealth clearly, you know, and his dad's

561
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: an attorney, so they just sunk all of their resources

562
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: and their time and their effort into, you know, his

563
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 1: legal case against me and doing whatever they could to

564
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: make him seem like, you know, this superstar dad, you know.

565
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 1: And and you know, he was gone like in Florida

566
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 1: for those whole three months and just had basically nothing

567
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 1: nothing to do with him. I mean, he didn't send

568
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: a dime. And here I was somebody who we had

569
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 1: a company together, and right as his addiction just progressed,

570
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: you know, I backed myself away from that and realized, okay,

571
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 1: I need to okay, now I need to get like

572
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 1: a job on my own.

573
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 2: You guys had you guys had a business together.

574
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: We had we had a few businesses together.

575
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 2: Oh really okay, but so and was that your guys'

576
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 2: full time thing? Together or did you each have your

577
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 2: own kind of independent jobs.

578
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, that was our that was our our thing together.

579
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 1: That was our thing together.

580
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 2: And how I mean so this, I mean, Jesus Christ,

581
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 2: that's a whole other, entirely crazy element to this. I mean,

582
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 2: how were the businesses doing while he was kind of

583
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 2: strung out?

584
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 3: Oh?

585
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 1: Terrible, terrible. I mean he he ran them all into

586
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 1: the ground. I mean, we had one that was incredibly successful,

587
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 1: and I mean obviously I'm not trying to doc myself,

588
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 1: but I mean it was it was quite successful. I

589
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 1: mean it had garnered like you know, attention and like

590
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: national media and and all kinds of stuff. I mean,

591
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: it was incredibly successful. And and also furthermore, it was

592
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: it was it was a product that a lot of

593
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 1: people relied on and it really actually like helped them

594
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: be able to manage their lives better. And yeah, and

595
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 1: so I could obviously sense that he wasn't doing what

596
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: he was supposed to be doing and in his job.

597
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 1: That was clear. Obviously I worked with him. I could tell.

598
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: I could just tell from the fact that I mean,

599
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: you know, he would just be in home all day

600
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,800
Speaker 1: and literally wouldn't do anything. He would do any work.

601
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: He would hardly move from this chair. So, I mean,

602
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: it was bad, bad, But when I started to when

603
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 1: I started noticing that with the with the companies and stuff,

604
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: that's when I was like, Okay, that probably he's going

605
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 1: to sink this ship on his own. There's only so

606
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 1: much I can do to help, So maybe I need

607
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: to like turn my effort, focus my efforts somewhere else

608
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,479
Speaker 1: to you know, come onto solid footing on my own

609
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,399
Speaker 1: without without any ties to him.

610
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 2: Basically, So you you weren't even like, Okay, let me

611
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 2: try to kind of salvage my own kind of make

612
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 2: my own fight for this business that I'm a part of.

613
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:32,839
Speaker 2: You were like, you know what, I don't even want

614
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 2: to put up that fight. I just want to get

615
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 2: out of here exactly exactly.

616
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was like I had always I had always

617
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: worried that if we ever had gotten divorce, our lives

618
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 1: were so intertwined that it was going to be just

619
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 1: so freaking difficult to untangle, and just even from the

620
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 1: from a professional standpoint. So I kind of at that

621
00:35:58,040 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 1: point I was waning. I mean, I STOs felt like,

622
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 1: you know, I follow the writing on the wall. I

623
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:06,240
Speaker 1: saw that like where he was going what he was doing,

624
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 1: he had, He had no motivation whatsoever to to to

625
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 1: do better, to be better, to you know, focus on

626
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 1: these businesses, pull them up whatever, or even just sustain

627
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: where they were. So I thought, you know, I really honestly,

628
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: any anytime I spend with him is not going to

629
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 1: be productive. So like, let's move on. Let's figure out

630
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 1: what I want to do so I can be stable,

631
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 1: and I don't need to I don't need to have

632
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 1: anything that's tied to him, you know, I need to

633
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 1: be self sufficient. So I really had just no freaking

634
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 1: idea what I was going to do. I went to college,

635
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 1: I have my degree, I have a paralegal certificate. I thought, okay,

636
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 1: I'll go work at a law firm. Tried that. Have

637
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,360
Speaker 1: lots of friends that are attorneys. None of them, not

638
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 1: one could find me job, not a one. And I've

639
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 1: always done art on the side. So that's when I thought, okay, well,

640
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: let me let me thinking about going into teaching.

641
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 2: M did you, like, were you able to keep any

642
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 2: savings from the divorce so that you weren't at least like,

643
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 2: you know, against the wall.

644
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 1: Yes, it was, it was not a lot. It was

645
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: not a lot. There were some and I really tried

646
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 1: not to ever touch any of the emergency phons that

647
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:52,399
Speaker 1: I had squirreled away over that time. That was kind

648
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 1: of my goal, even though it was definitely in an

649
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 1: emergency type situation. I just in my head, I'm always wondering, like,

650
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 1: I don't know, there could be some thing down the

651
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,959
Speaker 1: line that's way worse than that, or it's even worse

652
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: than that. So I ended up substitute teaching for and

653
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: I don't know how much. I don't know if people

654
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 1: really know how little substitute teachers make, but it's anywhere

655
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 1: between one hundred and ten, one hundred and twenty or

656
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 1: thirty dollars a day. So I mean, just just so

657
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: so small. And I thought to myself, Okay, well, you know,

658
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: I can't get a job in a law firm. No

659
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: one wants to hire me. I love kids, I love teaching,

660
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 1: so you know, I'm gonna just suffer through it, you know,

661
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 1: my one hundred and ten hundred and twenty dollars a day,

662
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 1: and you know, just see if I can, if I

663
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 1: can get by, you know. And there were some definitely

664
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: lean times, and I think about it now, I think

665
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 1: about you know, the amount that was in my bank

666
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 1: account and just totally shit, I don't know how I

667
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,799
Speaker 1: did that, and you know, I just it's just even

668
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: came back on it, I'm like, I can't believe that

669
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: was my life. But so yeah, I put my focus on,

670
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: you know, finding something for me and you know, making

671
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 1: you know, my own money. And you you hear about

672
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 1: this too from women that have been you know, married

673
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,760
Speaker 1: for a long time or that have been divorced after

674
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: being stay at home moms for for you know, decades.

675
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,799
Speaker 1: You know, they say, you know, don't you know, don't

676
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: give up your own career and always have your own money,

677
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 1: and and you know, it's it's it's solid advice. It's

678
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: very smart advice. I thought I was. I was in

679
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 1: that camp though, as somebody who had been working, and

680
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 1: you know, I wasn't just sitting at home eating bomb bonds,

681
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 1: and you know, I was obviously an active parent, but

682
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 1: I was an active you know, financial participant and you know,

683
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,839
Speaker 1: our life.

684
00:39:55,760 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 2: So how are you doing now? This has been I

685
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 2: guess it's been about a little over a year since

686
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 2: almost the year almost the year, so I mean, how

687
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 2: are you doing now? What's going on with you today.

688
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: So I see I'm seeing the light at the end

689
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 1: of the tunnel. Now. I think a lot of the

690
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 1: hard part of the divorce is behind me, unfortunately, because

691
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: you know, my my ex does come from a family

692
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 1: that knows what they're doing with money and knows how

693
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,320
Speaker 1: to protect money. I got. I kind of got screwed

694
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 1: in the divorce. I really didn't get very much as

695
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 1: anything at all, which is funny to me because people,

696
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 1: you know, oh, you know, you get child support and

697
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: you get self with support, and you every you know,

698
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:54,520
Speaker 1: half of everything is yours. No, it's not. That is

699
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,800
Speaker 1: not true. If things are set up in a certain

700
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: way and people know what they're doing, No, it's you don't.

701
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:05,359
Speaker 1: You don't get half. So, you know, I was at

702
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,799
Speaker 1: least hoping that, you know, I would maybe get half

703
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 1: of our house, you know, half of our assets. You know.

704
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 1: He took a lot of things, sold them, hid them,

705
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,439
Speaker 1: so I didn't and I never really had a good

706
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: financial like a clear financial picture of our assets because

707
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 1: he was really good about about hiding that stuff for me.

708
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 1: So where I'm at now, I will I have to

709
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 1: be out of our house by the end of the year.

710
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:38,879
Speaker 1: So that's That's probably the biggest stressor on me right

711
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 1: now is just kind of like every moment, I feel

712
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 1: like that there's this this thing hanging over my head

713
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 1: because I know that, like I'm going to be moving

714
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 1: and I've been in this house for seven years, and

715
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 1: you know, this is the house that you know, my

716
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 1: kid has been in the first grade, and you know,

717
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 1: he's in eighth grade, so he's going to be going

718
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 1: into high school. So I had all of these, you know,

719
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,759
Speaker 1: just these pictures and and and stuff of you know,

720
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 1: of him coming home and you know, high school and

721
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 1: graduating and all of that stuff and being here in

722
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 1: the scheme the home base. So obviously that's that's out

723
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: the window. So that's that's the most difficult thing to

724
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 1: grapple with right now. Definitely the financial aspect of things

725
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 1: has been really difficult. But I I have a job.

726
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 1: I have teaching art, which is which was what I

727
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 1: wanted to be teaching. I'm almost a certified teacher. I

728
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 1: had to jump through a lot of hoops for that too,

729
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 1: and and doing all of the coursework and all of

730
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 1: the exams for that while I'm going through all of

731
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 1: this has been just immensely difficult. But I'm in the

732
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 1: better place. But I'm also in a place where there's

733
00:42:55,239 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 1: a lot of unknown for sure, and so that's that's

734
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,360
Speaker 1: probably the scariest part for me. But I do I

735
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 1: try to remind myself that hopefully, more than likely probably

736
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 1: the worst is behind me. And you know, I'm not

737
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 1: gonna I'm not going to be in this beautiful house anymore,

738
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 1: and I'm not going to be living this idyllic life

739
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 1: and and all of that anymore. But I definitely have

740
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 1: a lot more peace in my life. That's that's for sure.

741
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: That's for sure.

742
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 2: So where is your son now? Does he live with you?

743
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 2: Does he live with his dad? Is he kind of

744
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 2: in between?

745
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 1: Well, you know, a lot of people too, I guess

746
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 1: you know, there was that's a lot of assumptions made here.

747
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: They thought, you know, drug addict parent, You know clearly

748
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,400
Speaker 1: that parent's not going to get custody and this, that

749
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 1: and the other. I mean, no, it's not what happened.

750
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 1: We is fifty to fifty is fifty to fifty. I

751
00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:00,760
Speaker 1: had evidence out the wazoo of everything. I was really

752
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,920
Speaker 1: smart about keeping everything and timelines and photos and just

753
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,840
Speaker 1: everything you can imagine. I mean, it wasn't It wasn't dispute.

754
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,320
Speaker 1: There's just no way you could dispute that he had problems,

755
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: and he didn't deny it. But when it came down

756
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,360
Speaker 1: to it, it just it didn't really matter. They're like

757
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 1: fifty to fifty. You know, you get him fifty percent

758
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 1: of the time, you get him fifty percent of the time.

759
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,319
Speaker 1: So I mean, I guess in a sense that was

760
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 1: a win from where we started from, which is where

761
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 1: he just wanted to take him, you know, the whole time,

762
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:31,919
Speaker 1: and then just move them to Florida and just never

763
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 1: see me again. But you know, I still held out

764
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 1: some hope that you know, like, well, you know, maybe

765
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 1: somebody somewhere would see, hey, like this dude had a

766
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: raging coke problem for four years, you know, maybe he

767
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 1: should go get help. And and my only confession was

768
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 1: I said, I'm fine with fifty to fifty. If you

769
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 1: go get help, I will I do not. I have

770
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: no problem. I'm not going to fight you. We will

771
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 1: do fifty to fifty. I'm not going to be petty.

772
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 1: Just go get help, just go to treatment.

773
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 2: Did he didn't? He didn't do it?

774
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 1: Nope?

775
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,359
Speaker 2: So how I mean, so, how was the how long

776
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 2: have you guys been fifty to fifty four, like a year.

777
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 1: Probably since the beginning of this year. So yeah, I mean, yeah.

778
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 2: How's that? How's that been? Like? What's the schedule?

779
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 3: Is it?

780
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 2: Like he's with you for a week, he's down in

781
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:24,280
Speaker 2: Florida for a week.

782
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 1: So he ended up moving back to Texas. So he's

783
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 1: here now. But yeah, we do one week on and

784
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 1: one week off, and that seems that seems to that

785
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 1: seems to be to be good for us.

786
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,919
Speaker 2: Oh so your your ex, your ex husband is back

787
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 2: in Texas. He is Okay, cool, Okay, that's I mean,

788
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:50,280
Speaker 2: that makes life. That makes life three hundred times easier,

789
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:54,320
Speaker 2: you know. Yes, I mean my my parents were divorced

790
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 2: when I was growing up, and the nice thing it

791
00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 2: was nice that my had only lived like my dad

792
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:07,720
Speaker 2: lived like a fifteen to twenty minute drive from my mom,

793
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:09,879
Speaker 2: you know, so like we saw I know, I feel

794
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 2: like I got to see both of them, you know,

795
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 2: I mean I mainly lived with my mom. That was

796
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 2: kind of like like that place was the place I

797
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 2: had was home. But you know, both my parents were

798
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,919
Speaker 2: really in my life. I can't imagine what that would

799
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 2: have been like if my dad lived in like, you know,

800
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 2: a different state or something. It'd be tough, yeah.

801
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 1: Which I doubt was so my when my parents divorced,

802
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 1: same as you, they they lived very very close, probably

803
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,399
Speaker 1: even less than you know, ten minutes away from each other.

804
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 1: And then my my dad did end up moving out

805
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 1: of state when I turned twelve, so that that was

806
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 1: a huge adjustment for me. That I mean, I don't

807
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 1: think I ever really recovered from you know, So yeah,

808
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: I mean right, having having him close by made things

809
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 1: immensely easier. And didn't know that he actually ended up

810
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 1: moving here because that was that was hidden from me.

811
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 1: But yeah, so he's here now and we're about ten

812
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:14,560
Speaker 1: minutes away from each other, which is great for our kid,

813
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:20,839
Speaker 1: and it is very convenient for for us. And yeah,

814
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,480
Speaker 1: I mean I think I think we're we're managing okay.

815
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 1: I think our son has adjusted to the schedule. He

816
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: doesn't sit there and say go when she goes, let

817
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 1: mean what my dude, dud and and that's that's also

818
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 1: very helpful for me, and and that was really hard

819
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 1: for me to deal with for months on end. So

820
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: I think that we're in we're in a more stable place.

821
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 1: I mean, we're we're able to communicate, We're able to

822
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,600
Speaker 1: get along, and I mean we're actually probably in a

823
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 1: much better spot than I ever thought we would be,

824
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 1: you know, this far into things. But like if you

825
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:07,720
Speaker 1: asked me if I still thought if he was using,

826
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 1: I would say, yeah, absolutely. In fact, when we had

827
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 1: our mediation and stuff, that was one thing that he

828
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 1: really did not want to have. He did not want

829
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 1: us to be able to randomly drug test each other.

830
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:23,799
Speaker 1: And you know, my dad said, well that that there

831
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 1: you go. I mean, that should tell you everything that

832
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:27,799
Speaker 1: you need to know. If you had any doubt about

833
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 1: his sobriety, you shouldn't anymore if he's just completely unwilling

834
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,360
Speaker 1: to take any kind of drug test.

835
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:40,400
Speaker 2: So are you planning on trying to like date again

836
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 2: at all?

837
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: Yes, I am. I've went on a few gates. The

838
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:50,719
Speaker 1: one person I really liked ended up moving away to Colorado,

839
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 1: So there's there's that. But you know, I met my

840
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,319
Speaker 1: husband before dating absot like a thing.

841
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 3: So so.

842
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:07,760
Speaker 1: Just navigating that whole world is just just totally foreign

843
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 1: to me. You know, having good dates and thinking that

844
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,719
Speaker 1: they went well and somebody saying, oh that it's a

845
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 1: great time. I'm going to hang out again, and then

846
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:17,879
Speaker 1: you never talk to somebody again.

847
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 2: That's that's true.

848
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 1: It is, yeah, now now now I'm learning. But yeah, no,

849
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:29,880
Speaker 1: it's been exciting. And you know, I was really miserable

850
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 1: for four years, so and you know our marriage was

851
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:38,359
Speaker 1: done way before I filed for divorce. I mean, that's

852
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 1: just that's just how it is. And you know, I

853
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 1: don't want to be miserable forever. I alsouly just like people,

854
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:49,919
Speaker 1: I just enjoy the process of you know, meeting somebody new,

855
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:53,720
Speaker 1: learning about somebody, seeing things from a different point of view.

856
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 1: You know, I've definitely had some you know, moments of

857
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: commiseration with other war people, which for better for worse.

858
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,399
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't love going on a date

859
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 1: and then the whole date is just us talking about

860
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 1: our divorces, right, So that's that's that's that's been interesting

861
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 1: for sure. But yeah, no, I mean I want to

862
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 1: be happy. I know I'll be happy again. I have

863
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 1: no idea if I'll ever get married again, because you know,

864
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 1: like how we started this call is is you know,

865
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 1: you can do everything right and and things just just

866
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 1: still just just not work out. But yeah, I mean

867
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 1: I still I still believe in love. I'm sure that

868
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 1: there's somebody out there somewhere, and you know, I am

869
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,760
Speaker 1: lucky in the sense that, you know, I am still

870
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:48,319
Speaker 1: seemingly you know, young, So you know how had I

871
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 1: waited another ten years, this would have been a lot

872
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:55,960
Speaker 1: more difficult, you know. So I'm I'm, I'm definitely it's

873
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 1: it's it's a moment in time where it's a lot

874
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 1: there's a lot of uncertainty there. It's just there's so

875
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 1: much uncertainty. But there was a lot of uncertainty when

876
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,200
Speaker 1: I was married and I was going through all of

877
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:11,239
Speaker 1: the things I was going through with him, you know,

878
00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 1: so that's just kind of what I have to you know,

879
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:19,399
Speaker 1: remind myself. But you know this this time also too,

880
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 1: isn't isn't you know about me? You know, I'm not

881
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 1: nothing is ever going to you know, supersede anything that

882
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,960
Speaker 1: needs to be done for my son or anything that

883
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 1: he has going on. But I do think, you know,

884
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 1: it is important for him, you know, to see his

885
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 1: parent right happy, but also knowing that, like you know,

886
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 1: your mom can have a life outside of her family.

887
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:54,240
Speaker 1: So absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah.

888
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 2: This was Uh, I felt like I've been listening to

889
00:51:56,200 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 2: my own podcast for the Fast fifty Minutes. I really,

890
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:08,319
Speaker 2: I sincerely, I really, I really appreciate you telling your

891
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 2: story and going in depth on it because I think

892
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 2: I'm sure that there will be people who resonate with it.

893
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 2: And it sounded like it was very, very difficult, and

894
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:27,719
Speaker 2: you're still kind of like, you know, optimistic of being

895
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 2: able to put together the pieces and move forward after

896
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 2: you know, the disillusion of something that's been kind of

897
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 2: your like day to day life over the last thirteen years.

898
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:40,839
Speaker 2: It's tough. I mean, it's emblematic of like life just

899
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 2: fucking throws things that you and disruptions and as you said,

900
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,400
Speaker 2: as you said, and it's a very interesting thing that

901
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 2: you said that you could do everything right, you could

902
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:52,799
Speaker 2: be patient, you could be It's not like you met

903
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 2: this guy at a gas station and you got married

904
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 2: that night. And it's not like it was like, oh

905
00:52:58,560 --> 00:52:59,800
Speaker 2: it was it was not like the writing was on

906
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 2: the wall when you guys met. You know, it's like,

907
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 2: you did everything right, as you said, and things still

908
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 2: don't work out. And dude, that's just fucking that's just life.

909
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 2: You know, life, It's just fucking life. And I think

910
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 2: it's uh something to like just learn, I guess, just

911
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 2: learn how to how to take and move on from

912
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:24,799
Speaker 2: the best that you can.

913
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

914
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, So I appreciate you sharing this story with

915
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:32,879
Speaker 2: us Cocoa right.

916
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, no, And I really appreciate the time. I again,

917
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 1: I've been listening to you for a long time. We've

918
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:44,160
Speaker 1: met actually, and I told you you pulled me out

919
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 1: of COVID because I was listening to you back in

920
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,279
Speaker 1: the day on on Reddit. You know, in my you know,

921
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 1: three hour long path that I would take because there

922
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:55,920
Speaker 1: wasn't shit else to do. And you know this, I

923
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 1: mean really I was kind of going I was going

924
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:01,920
Speaker 1: through this whole process, you know. Then you know, so

925
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 1: you've you've really seen me through a dark time in

926
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 1: my life.

927
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:10,319
Speaker 2: While when did we were we met in person in

928
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 2: or in Orlando, or we.

929
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 1: Did and with my ex Actually.

930
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:19,400
Speaker 2: Whoa crazy shit. You know, it's funny. It is funny.

931
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, uh, I don't like the idea of I'm like, oh, okay,

932
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 2: I probably met these two people and I took a

933
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 2: picture with them and they walked away, and the whole

934
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 2: I had no idea like of all their there had

935
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 2: was so much lore between them that would happen. It's

936
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,919
Speaker 2: like I only had like a little screen shot of

937
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 2: like that moment where I'm like, oh, this is a

938
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 2: couple and they're together and that's amazing, it's great, But

939
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:47,920
Speaker 2: I only had It's the and you know whatever, you

940
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 2: walk around life like that, you just have little screenshots

941
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:54,120
Speaker 2: of what appears to be and you have no fucking

942
00:54:54,239 --> 00:55:00,080
Speaker 2: idea about fucking and it's really wild. It's really the

943
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 2: the more I do this show and the more I

944
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 2: just live my life in general, probably more related to

945
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 2: just living my life in general, the more agnostic I

946
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 2: become about just absolutely everything about ideas I have of people,

947
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:19,879
Speaker 2: or about life, or about what I see in the world.

948
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 2: I just become more and more agnostic as I as

949
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:26,919
Speaker 2: I'm truly understanding how little I can actually gleam from

950
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 2: the screenshots of everything that I see, you know, day

951
00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:35,120
Speaker 2: to day and through life. It's interesting to think about.

952
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:40,600
Speaker 2: But you take it all in and you just, I guess,

953
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:45,200
Speaker 2: keep moving forward in however positive a way you can.

954
00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just, yeah, keep moving. I definitely have those

955
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 1: times where I'm just like your Lord, you know, like

956
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,799
Speaker 1: I just want to call onto to a hole and die.

957
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 1: But now I think one of I definitely think I'm,

958
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 1: you know, toxicly optimistic. I don't know if that's the right.

959
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:06,759
Speaker 2: Term, but I don't think you I don't think that

960
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:14,320
Speaker 2: it's toxic to be optimistic. Okay, good, Well listen, Coco.

961
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 2: Is there is there anything else that you know, I

962
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:19,680
Speaker 2: know we talked for a while. Is but is there

963
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 2: any other kind of like aspect of this or like

964
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,360
Speaker 2: anything at all that you UH want to want to

965
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:26,439
Speaker 2: cover before we go?

966
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:30,120
Speaker 1: No, I just want to say thank you. I want

967
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:33,840
Speaker 1: to say, if anybody out there is struggling, you know,

968
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 1: and you have a support system and you have means

969
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:40,640
Speaker 1: to go get help, do it, do it. There is

970
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:43,800
Speaker 1: there is something so much better on the other side

971
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:47,160
Speaker 1: that you just you can't even imagine, but you'll you'll

972
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 1: never know. You'll never know if you don't if you

973
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 1: don't make that leap and you don't try and attempt

974
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 1: to be the best version of yourself.

975
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:58,320
Speaker 2: Uh, Coco, thank you very very very much for UH

976
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,319
Speaker 2: sharing the story with us and the end the rest

977
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 2: of the UH and the listeners. I really appreciate it.

978
00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:08,000
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you so much. Get gek bless you, Mike, Oco,

979
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:09,840
Speaker 1: Thanks By.

980
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 2: That was really fascinating. That was a really interesting call,

981
00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:20,440
Speaker 2: and that woman was really, really, really smart. She she like,

982
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 2: I loved the way that she told her story. I

983
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:26,000
Speaker 2: was thinking that while she was talking. I liked the

984
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 2: way she told her story. She was very had a

985
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:33,880
Speaker 2: nice grasp on the situation, and you know, she really

986
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 2: took us through the I appreciate she that was she

987
00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:41,600
Speaker 2: was very generous with how in depth she took us

988
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,520
Speaker 2: through all the different aspects of that story, both kind

989
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 2: of like logistically and emotionally. So I appreciate I appreciated that.

990
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:53,080
Speaker 2: And uh yeah, the idea that you can kind of

991
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 2: do everything right and things will still go wrong, it's interesting,

992
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 2: right because she correct. She's correct about that with all endeavors, right,

993
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 2: And that's something you have to, I think, come to

994
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 2: terms with in life, whether it's a relationship or a

995
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:13,479
Speaker 2: business or a moving, a play or whatever whatever life

996
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:15,560
Speaker 2: thing is. The thing is, it's true you could do

997
00:58:15,640 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 2: everything right and things will still not fucking work. And

998
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:24,920
Speaker 2: I think accepting that and deciding that it's still I

999
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 2: guess worth it. I don't know, I might be taking

1000
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:31,160
Speaker 2: the wrong thing away from this cautionary tale, as she

1001
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 2: called it, but the idea that yes, you might do

1002
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 2: everything correct and it still won't work out, But I

1003
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:48,520
Speaker 2: guess you should just do it anyway. That's what I think.

1004
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:53,960
Speaker 2: Just do it anyway. Why not? You know, what are you?

1005
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:56,120
Speaker 2: I mean? Because well, what other option do you have?

1006
00:58:56,680 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 2: It's like, like I was talking to someone about this recently,

1007
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 2: like stow Is, I used to be really into stoicism,

1008
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 2: and then I realized stoicism is kind of just this

1009
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 2: ultimate act of avoidance, and it's this ultimate attempt of

1010
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:16,240
Speaker 2: like fully just diminishing, like let me, let me diminish,

1011
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 2: not do anything that might hurt my feelings. That's not

1012
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 2: really what I think stoicism is, But I think there's

1013
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 2: something about like surrendering to the true helplessness that you

1014
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 2: have as a person, to the events that happen to

1015
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 2: you in your life, and realizing that, yeah, you could

1016
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 2: do everything right and it's still could fuck up, but

1017
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 2: we should still do things. We should still try to

1018
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 2: find love and try to make stuff and try to

1019
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 2: do things even if they might not work, or they

1020
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 2: might might. They might not only not work, they might

1021
00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 2: fuck us up. They might kill us or leave us

1022
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 2: homeless or give us some cancer. I don't know, I'm

1023
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 2: I'm but we should still do What else are you

1024
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:19,080
Speaker 2: gonna do? You do nothing, you do do not, you

1025
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:23,880
Speaker 2: gotta do? You know, do something, fall in love, take chances.

1026
01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:25,320
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. You know what

1027
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:30,280
Speaker 2: I'm saying. Thank you, Coco for sharing your story. I

1028
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:35,400
Speaker 2: appreciate it. Hello, Yo, Hello, how's it going.

1029
01:00:36,920 --> 01:00:38,280
Speaker 3: It's going good. How are you.

1030
01:00:38,920 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 2: I'm hanging out. I think I smell like shit, but

1031
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,760
Speaker 2: that's fine. I haven't showered yet today because I know

1032
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 2: I was going to put on this paint and so

1033
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:49,720
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not gonna shower, just to shower

1034
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 2: again anyway. That's I know. You found that very interesting.

1035
01:00:56,760 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 2: What did you say? Your name was that? He just

1036
01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:02,240
Speaker 2: said it? All right, Kalem, Kalem, what's up, Kalum? Would

1037
01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 2: you want to talk about today?

1038
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:09,680
Speaker 3: I wanted to talk about how you can have any

1039
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 3: job in the world that you want. Yeah. I used

1040
01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:21,480
Speaker 3: to work as a construction worker doing remodels and like

1041
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:27,080
Speaker 3: stinky basements and stuff like that, and I really hated it.

1042
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:33,440
Speaker 3: So I just started applying at state parks and it worked,

1043
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:40,280
Speaker 3: and I'm currently in a state park right now, sitting

1044
01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 3: by a waterfall, counting how many people cross a bridge?

1045
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:46,200
Speaker 2: Do you have to do anything? Or you just kind

1046
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 2: of sit by the waterfall.

1047
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:51,920
Speaker 3: Right now, I'm just sitting by the waterfall. Like other days,

1048
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 3: I do other stuff, but like just stitting by a fall, now.

1049
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 2: That's pretty good. What do you normally do on a

1050
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:06,680
Speaker 2: day like this? In this job?

1051
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 3: I do a lot of stuff. I do like trail maintenance.

1052
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:15,080
Speaker 3: I'll like keep a trail nice and clean and cool.

1053
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 3: Where I do like chainsaw work, where I'll go and

1054
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 3: thin trees out stuff like that.

1055
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:28,240
Speaker 2: That's pretty cool. So you do you believe you can

1056
01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 2: get any job that you want.

1057
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 3: I think you can get I believe that you just

1058
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:35,840
Speaker 3: got to try for it. I mean, I got this job,

1059
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:38,720
Speaker 3: and I love it, and I'm sure that you enjoy

1060
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 3: your job from time to time.

1061
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:43,600
Speaker 2: Did you think that you wouldn't be able to get

1062
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:44,040
Speaker 2: this job.

1063
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:48,040
Speaker 3: No, it was just a shot in the dark. I

1064
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:54,920
Speaker 3: just kind of did it out of just boredom pretty much,

1065
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:56,080
Speaker 3: and I got it.

1066
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:56,920
Speaker 1: M h.

1067
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:06,080
Speaker 2: And uh, you're counting people who walk by?

1068
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:11,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, last tuesday here in the park they installed a

1069
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:17,919
Speaker 3: really big bridge with a crane across the river, and

1070
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:21,920
Speaker 3: and I and watch how many people cross it for

1071
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 3: data for the park.

1072
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,840
Speaker 2: Is are you formally counting anything? Or are you just

1073
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:28,360
Speaker 2: gonna go back and they're gonna be like, how many

1074
01:03:28,400 --> 01:03:30,760
Speaker 2: people cross it? And you're gonna be like, uh, seems

1075
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:32,760
Speaker 2: like a lot.

1076
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:37,120
Speaker 3: Uh, I am counting formally.

1077
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:42,280
Speaker 2: You're counting collies on. Sorry you you cut out a

1078
01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:43,920
Speaker 2: little bit. You're counting formally.

1079
01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 3: Formally thing.

1080
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:51,080
Speaker 2: Uh you cut out one more time. Say it again.

1081
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:53,400
Speaker 3: I'm formally counting.

1082
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:56,560
Speaker 2: Uh So, how are you so you're talking to me

1083
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:57,440
Speaker 2: while you're counting.

1084
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:01,000
Speaker 3: I'm counting. Someone's on the bridge right now and I

1085
01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:02,160
Speaker 3: just counted them.

1086
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:03,919
Speaker 2: How are you right now? Well, you have a little

1087
01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:04,640
Speaker 2: clicker right.

1088
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:08,320
Speaker 3: No, I just write a little tally on my piece

1089
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:08,760
Speaker 3: of paper.

1090
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:12,040
Speaker 2: So you're talking to me right now while you tally

1091
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:14,600
Speaker 2: up all the people that cross the bridge.

1092
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:15,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much.

1093
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:17,720
Speaker 2: Are there a lot of how many people cross the

1094
01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 2: bridge per minute?

1095
01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 3: Not a lot so far. I've been out here for

1096
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:25,560
Speaker 3: about forty minutes. I've gotten thirteen people.

1097
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,560
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, that's on that bad. I thought this

1098
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:30,840
Speaker 2: was like a okay, that's all right. That now sounds

1099
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:32,760
Speaker 2: like it's easier to do while you talk on the phone.

1100
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:32,960
Speaker 2: With me.

1101
01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 3: It's very easy to do.

1102
01:04:37,760 --> 01:04:39,440
Speaker 2: What job did you want when you were a child?

1103
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:44,480
Speaker 3: I wanted to own a candy factory.

1104
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:46,440
Speaker 2: Like Willy Wonka.

1105
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,360
Speaker 3: Just like Willy Wonka.

1106
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:50,960
Speaker 2: I was talking about with my friends last night. I

1107
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:54,160
Speaker 2: think Willy Wonka would have absolutely been like a Republican.

1108
01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:58,000
Speaker 3: You'd think so. I think I think he would have

1109
01:04:58,040 --> 01:04:59,560
Speaker 3: been green, talky.

1110
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:02,080
Speaker 2: I think he would have been like a Trump guy

1111
01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:06,640
Speaker 2: for sure, because right because he's probably like a like.

1112
01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:11,040
Speaker 2: He likes big business. He doesn't want the Oompa Loompas

1113
01:05:11,120 --> 01:05:13,920
Speaker 2: to unionize. He would probably be like an Elon Musk

1114
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:14,720
Speaker 2: type character.

1115
01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:18,000
Speaker 3: That's probably true. I bet if there was a tornado,

1116
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:20,880
Speaker 3: he would make all of the oopas keep working.

1117
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:23,760
Speaker 2: Did that happen in one of the movies?

1118
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:30,680
Speaker 3: No, that happened at an Amazon warehouse once.

1119
01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:39,640
Speaker 2: So you're counting, what what what? What are they going

1120
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:42,360
Speaker 2: to do with this data of how many people cross

1121
01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:43,920
Speaker 2: this bridge?

1122
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:48,400
Speaker 3: Well, it's actually pretty dramatic. Some some people at this

1123
01:05:48,520 --> 01:05:52,560
Speaker 3: state park really did not want this bridge at all.

1124
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:57,840
Speaker 3: There's some drama behind it, but it it's a pretty

1125
01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:02,480
Speaker 3: cool bridge. I think it helps climbers get access to

1126
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 3: a cool part of the park. But the climbers kind

1127
01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:10,120
Speaker 3: of wanted it to be an exclusive climber area, so

1128
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:14,320
Speaker 3: now any pedestrian can just cross it. So we're trying

1129
01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:19,880
Speaker 3: to see how much that's true, and so far no

1130
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:23,160
Speaker 3: pedestrian has gone really over there. They just kind of

1131
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:25,120
Speaker 3: take pictures with the bridge and then leave.

1132
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:29,720
Speaker 2: Do you like animals?

1133
01:06:31,960 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 3: Yes?

1134
01:06:32,600 --> 01:06:34,560
Speaker 2: What kind of animals are hanging out at the spark

1135
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:35,080
Speaker 2: that you like?

1136
01:06:37,040 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 3: I've seen a lot of deer and elk. I got

1137
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:45,760
Speaker 3: rattled at by a rattlesnake last week for the first time.

1138
01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:54,320
Speaker 3: It was pretty cool. Other than that, there's some like

1139
01:06:54,320 --> 01:06:59,840
Speaker 3: elusive ones that I'm not seen yet, like bears and porcupines.

1140
01:07:02,160 --> 01:07:05,920
Speaker 2: Are bears and porcupines known to inhabit this park.

1141
01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:11,000
Speaker 3: They are bears come in here during the night and

1142
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:13,400
Speaker 3: they knock over all the trash cans.

1143
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:16,680
Speaker 2: Is there any Is there any animal that you would

1144
01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:18,400
Speaker 2: be scared of? Like if you saw a bear, would

1145
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:19,520
Speaker 2: that freak you out?

1146
01:07:20,800 --> 01:07:24,120
Speaker 3: No? I think what would scare me is the most?

1147
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 2: Why a most not a bear?

1148
01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:32,680
Speaker 3: They're they're scarier, They they they're aggressive for no reason.

1149
01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:35,360
Speaker 3: They just they just kill people out here.

1150
01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:36,800
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmm.

1151
01:07:37,760 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 3: Like I live in Colorado and think mayor of a

1152
01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:47,080
Speaker 3: town I lived by got killed by most last year

1153
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:51,280
Speaker 3: or the year before. They just they just do it

1154
01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:51,760
Speaker 3: for fun.

1155
01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:58,120
Speaker 2: Is this the job you want for the rest of

1156
01:07:58,120 --> 01:08:01,320
Speaker 2: your life? Would you be extremely happy if I told

1157
01:08:01,360 --> 01:08:02,280
Speaker 2: you this was what you were going to do for

1158
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:03,600
Speaker 2: the rest of your life? Would you would make you

1159
01:08:03,640 --> 01:08:04,480
Speaker 2: extremely happy?

1160
01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:09,600
Speaker 3: It would? It would make me pretty happy. I am.

1161
01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:17,960
Speaker 3: I'm going to a class this winter for wilderness EMT.

1162
01:08:18,640 --> 01:08:23,280
Speaker 3: I'm want to do tons ofness environments, but I quite

1163
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:24,040
Speaker 3: like this job.

1164
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:27,040
Speaker 2: You cut out when you were talking just now.

1165
01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:31,759
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm sorry. I like this job, but I would

1166
01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:33,000
Speaker 3: like to do search and rescue.

1167
01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:35,679
Speaker 2: Ah okay, oh for like people?

1168
01:08:36,920 --> 01:08:39,120
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1169
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:40,599
Speaker 2: How old are you? Can I ask?

1170
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:42,360
Speaker 3: I'm twenty?

1171
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:44,400
Speaker 2: Oh okay, you're a young man.

1172
01:08:45,880 --> 01:08:46,639
Speaker 3: I'm a young man.

1173
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:49,559
Speaker 2: Okay. Oh yeah, you got tons of time to do

1174
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:50,160
Speaker 2: a bunch of shit.

1175
01:08:51,520 --> 01:08:51,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1176
01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:57,519
Speaker 2: Hmm do you think you could if you had to?

1177
01:08:57,680 --> 01:08:59,439
Speaker 2: Then you could fight a bear and win?

1178
01:09:01,040 --> 01:09:01,519
Speaker 1: Mmmmm?

1179
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:02,000
Speaker 3: Yes?

1180
01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:07,240
Speaker 2: Are you being serious? That was a serious question?

1181
01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:09,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm serious.

1182
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:12,800
Speaker 2: How's all you if it was?

1183
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:15,280
Speaker 3: If I'm six one?

1184
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:16,200
Speaker 2: Okay?

1185
01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:16,640
Speaker 3: How uh?

1186
01:09:16,960 --> 01:09:17,639
Speaker 2: What's your build?

1187
01:09:19,479 --> 01:09:23,000
Speaker 3: Uh? Like medium?

1188
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:23,920
Speaker 2: What do you bench?

1189
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,120
Speaker 3: Uh? I don't bench?

1190
01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:32,600
Speaker 2: You don't bench? No, how are you gonna fight a

1191
01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:34,439
Speaker 2: bear if you don't have muscles?

1192
01:09:36,439 --> 01:09:39,920
Speaker 3: Uh? Well, I wouldn't say I don't have muscles. I

1193
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,240
Speaker 3: just don't bench when I'm at the gym.

1194
01:09:42,680 --> 01:09:43,400
Speaker 2: What do you do.

1195
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:47,120
Speaker 3: Just like the other stuff?

1196
01:09:48,200 --> 01:09:49,320
Speaker 2: Like you like a run out of truck?

1197
01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:51,839
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1198
01:09:51,920 --> 01:09:55,720
Speaker 3: I did that, and like I usually use like dumbbells

1199
01:09:55,720 --> 01:09:58,679
Speaker 3: and stuff because my gym doesn't really have bars.

1200
01:10:01,479 --> 01:10:02,880
Speaker 2: Okay, but do you do like do you do like

1201
01:10:02,880 --> 01:10:04,320
Speaker 2: a chest press with the dumbbells?

1202
01:10:05,280 --> 01:10:05,679
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1203
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:07,000
Speaker 2: What you chest press?

1204
01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:11,400
Speaker 3: I guess? I guess one sixty?

1205
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:16,400
Speaker 2: You chest press? To you add you chest press using

1206
01:10:16,439 --> 01:10:22,040
Speaker 2: two eighty pound dumbbells. Yeah, that's pretty damn good.

1207
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:25,320
Speaker 3: I think I could beat a bear.

1208
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:28,120
Speaker 2: I don't. Yeah, I mean I don't know. That's a lot. Yeah,

1209
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:31,000
Speaker 2: maybe you could. Six one is pretty good. You could

1210
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:32,400
Speaker 2: be you could be like a small bear.

1211
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:35,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe like an adolescent.

1212
01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:39,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then you but then if you if you

1213
01:10:39,479 --> 01:10:41,559
Speaker 2: beat up a baby bear, the mom bear is gonna

1214
01:10:41,560 --> 01:10:48,160
Speaker 2: come and kill you. Well yeah, do people still have

1215
01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:49,120
Speaker 2: picnics at the park?

1216
01:10:50,439 --> 01:10:52,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's actually been a big problem here.

1217
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:55,720
Speaker 2: Why is it a problem? Isn't that what parks for?

1218
01:10:56,920 --> 01:11:01,639
Speaker 3: What it's there is like picnic areas. But but there's

1219
01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:08,920
Speaker 3: a fireban right now and people keep starting fires. Oh

1220
01:11:09,040 --> 01:11:10,040
Speaker 3: the cook meats.

1221
01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:11,639
Speaker 2: You know who doesn't like fires?

1222
01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:13,960
Speaker 3: Bears?

1223
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:16,280
Speaker 2: But there's a specific bear.

1224
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:21,160
Speaker 3: Oh uh, smoky smokey bear.

1225
01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:21,920
Speaker 2: Smokey Bear.

1226
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:23,599
Speaker 3: Yes.

1227
01:11:24,040 --> 01:11:28,200
Speaker 2: What do you think about Yogi Bear? I'd win, no,

1228
01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:29,680
Speaker 2: not if it could beat him up? Like, what do

1229
01:11:29,680 --> 01:11:31,520
Speaker 2: you think about him? Just like as a concept?

1230
01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:35,479
Speaker 3: Oh? Oh, you know, he's pretty cool. I guess he.

1231
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:42,720
Speaker 3: I respect his desire to steal from people's picnic baskets.

1232
01:11:46,600 --> 01:11:48,439
Speaker 2: Have you ever watched the Yogi Bear movie? I think

1233
01:11:48,439 --> 01:11:51,160
Speaker 2: it was like in two thousand, Paul, I'm gonna look

1234
01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:58,720
Speaker 2: this up. Yogi Bear movie ten. That's old, man. The

1235
01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:02,240
Speaker 2: Yogi Bear three D movie too, is fucking fifteen years old.

1236
01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:05,840
Speaker 3: That's I think I do remember that. I don't. I

1237
01:12:05,840 --> 01:12:08,800
Speaker 3: don't remember much about it, but I think I remember it.

1238
01:12:11,720 --> 01:12:17,639
Speaker 2: What's your name again, Kalem Kalum Callum? Is there anything

1239
01:12:17,640 --> 01:12:20,599
Speaker 2: else that I can do for you out of this conversation?

1240
01:12:20,720 --> 01:12:24,160
Speaker 2: Or do you feel like it was it was what

1241
01:12:24,200 --> 01:12:24,719
Speaker 2: you wanted?

1242
01:12:26,120 --> 01:12:29,559
Speaker 3: Uh, It's pretty much what I wanted. But I was curious.

1243
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:33,720
Speaker 3: I'm coming to New York in a bit, and I

1244
01:12:33,800 --> 01:12:37,080
Speaker 3: was wondering if you have a specific day you go

1245
01:12:37,160 --> 01:12:37,799
Speaker 3: to the park.

1246
01:12:40,200 --> 01:12:43,439
Speaker 2: No, I just kind of do it. It's not a

1247
01:12:43,479 --> 01:12:47,200
Speaker 2: thing that I premeditate or advertise. I just kind of

1248
01:12:47,240 --> 01:12:47,559
Speaker 2: do it.

1249
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:51,800
Speaker 3: Okay, but be there.

1250
01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:55,120
Speaker 2: I'll see you if I see you there, I'll see you. Yeah,

1251
01:12:56,320 --> 01:12:56,720
Speaker 2: because I.

1252
01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:59,360
Speaker 3: Know you like parks, all right, I do like parks.

1253
01:13:00,760 --> 01:13:01,760
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the

1254
01:13:01,760 --> 01:13:02,800
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go?

1255
01:13:02,880 --> 01:13:07,920
Speaker 3: Kleem, Uh, quit your job unless you like it.

1256
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:13,240
Speaker 2: Thanks for calling, Caleum, Thank you bye.

1257
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:14,800
Speaker 3: See.

1258
01:13:14,920 --> 01:13:19,960
Speaker 2: Klem has good optimism, and that is often actually what

1259
01:13:20,040 --> 01:13:23,760
Speaker 2: you need. You need an unbridled delusion. That kind of

1260
01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:26,360
Speaker 2: honestly goes into what I was ranting about at the

1261
01:13:26,439 --> 01:13:28,800
Speaker 2: end of the last call, which is that you need

1262
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:33,960
Speaker 2: unbridled delusion and optimism to even have a fighting chance.

1263
01:13:35,040 --> 01:13:40,880
Speaker 2: So shout out to Kalem for the inspiration he provides

1264
01:13:41,560 --> 01:13:46,320
Speaker 2: by simply being who he is, goes on the line

1265
01:13:46,560 --> 01:13:51,439
Speaker 2: taking phone calls every night, goes to his teaching you

1266
01:13:51,640 --> 01:13:55,480
Speaker 2: an expert