WEBVTT - Do You Accept This Q&A?

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<v Speaker 1>This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast

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<v Speaker 1>with iHeartRadio.

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<v Speaker 2>It's time for a little question and answer from the

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<v Speaker 2>listeners in our audience. We always appreciate hearing from you.

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<v Speaker 2>We have kind of one relational question Ashley, and then

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<v Speaker 2>we have a few that are a little lighthearted, more

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<v Speaker 2>bachelorette Bachelor focused. Let's start with a few bachelor focused

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<v Speaker 2>ones and then we'll end with the relationship question that

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<v Speaker 2>was sent to me via Instagram. Okay, we'll start with

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<v Speaker 2>this one. It's from Benny Ashley. If you had to

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<v Speaker 2>pick your favorite Bachelorette season and your favorite bachelor season,

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<v Speaker 2>who would it be? And it can't be the one

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<v Speaker 2>you were on?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, Well, my favorite Bachelorette season would be probably Caitlin's

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<v Speaker 3>because I was fresh off becoming friends with Caitlin, so

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<v Speaker 3>it was like watching a friend date all these guys. Obviously,

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<v Speaker 3>my husband and one of my best friends came from

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<v Speaker 3>that season, so you know, so many friends are from

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<v Speaker 3>that season, and so it's just that it's just that's it.

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<v Speaker 3>I thought that not just was the cast great, but

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<v Speaker 3>it just was constantly interesting, entertaining, and you guys, just

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<v Speaker 3>you all rocked it.

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<v Speaker 4>I loved it.

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<v Speaker 3>And then one that I didn't see from a personal

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<v Speaker 3>angle was Emily Maynard season. I just lived for that

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<v Speaker 3>season every single week as a fan.

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<v Speaker 4>Just I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I just loved Emily and I love the way she

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<v Speaker 3>handled herself. She was just badass. Barbie love her Bachelor.

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<v Speaker 4>Season and that was not my own.

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<v Speaker 3>Ben, I'm not going to choose yours because I'm not

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<v Speaker 3>going to suck up for that. I'm gonna say the

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<v Speaker 3>one that is the most monumental to me was the

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<v Speaker 3>first season that I ever watched, and that was Brad

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<v Speaker 3>Wollmack's second season. A lot of that has to do

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<v Speaker 3>with Emily because I just loved her and I was

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<v Speaker 3>just so intrigued by the show. It's just something about

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<v Speaker 3>watching the whole sequence of it through fresh eyes.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's fair.

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<v Speaker 3>So I don't know if it was Brad or like

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<v Speaker 3>anything from that, or if it was just the first

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<v Speaker 3>time watching My.

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<v Speaker 2>Favorite bachelorette season would go back to Andy Dorfmann. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know why, but that season stood out to me

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<v Speaker 2>in so many ways, and I had so many big

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<v Speaker 2>characters and so many twists and turns leading up to

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<v Speaker 2>even the finale.

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<v Speaker 4>You watched it before you were on it.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah you did, Okay, Yeah, but like really hardcore,

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<v Speaker 3>like actually watch week to week.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I don't know why. I think I was home

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<v Speaker 2>with my mom. I don't know if it was when

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<v Speaker 2>I had Mono in college or what, but I remember

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<v Speaker 2>watching it consistently and being intrigued, like invested into the show.

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<v Speaker 2>And I don't get that invested. I mean, I guess

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<v Speaker 2>since I've been on it very often. So my favorite

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<v Speaker 2>Bachelor season that it's tough. I haven't watched many. I

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<v Speaker 2>kind of only watched.

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<v Speaker 4>The sides of what we're working it.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, that's what I was going to say. I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>watch many before my time on the show, so I

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<v Speaker 2>hadn't seen many. I mean I watched Souls' season because

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<v Speaker 2>I thought it was valuable and important and I thought

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<v Speaker 2>that was really good. However, I would say my favorite

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<v Speaker 2>season would maybe be like everybody else's right Now and

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<v Speaker 2>a little recency bias would be Joey's. I just think

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<v Speaker 2>we needed right like we needed it now, and I

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<v Speaker 2>think it really stepped up and filled a gap that was,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, very needed during that time. So I would

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<v Speaker 2>say between those two, but those might be the only

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<v Speaker 2>two I've watched. I mean, Chris's was probably the only

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<v Speaker 2>one I watched for fun for fun before my time,

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<v Speaker 2>So it's kind of hard for me to say. And

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<v Speaker 2>I just think, for whatever reason, the Bachelor seasons in

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<v Speaker 2>the last few years have been subpar quite.

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<v Speaker 3>Honestly, Okay, I got a question from Kendall, which contestant

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<v Speaker 3>from any season would you think mate would make a

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<v Speaker 3>great lead. I was always wanting it to be Peter Crouse,

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<v Speaker 3>Like up until this year, I would have liked them

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<v Speaker 3>to pick Peter Crouse like aka, like right now, like

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<v Speaker 3>I wish he was currently the Bachelor, except for he

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<v Speaker 3>just announced that he has a girlfriend and crazy. I

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<v Speaker 3>met this girlfriend ten almost ten years ago at an

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<v Speaker 3>event in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. It was a Bachelor event.

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<v Speaker 4>I think she was just a fan there.

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<v Speaker 3>She was a local sports reporter and I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>this girl, like I could see her on the show,

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<v Speaker 3>like she she's got it going on. And then and

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<v Speaker 3>I followed her. I don't know, we like hit it

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<v Speaker 3>off at this event and she's one of like the

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<v Speaker 3>thirteen hundred people that I follow And then all of

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<v Speaker 3>a sudden, I saw her post about him and then

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<v Speaker 3>him post about her just as recently as like ten

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<v Speaker 3>days ago.

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<v Speaker 2>So who would you pick them?

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<v Speaker 4>Who would I pick now?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes?

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<v Speaker 4>On the market.

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<v Speaker 2>No, it's hard for me to even think of many

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<v Speaker 2>people that are on the market.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, everybody who I would pick I think is off.

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<v Speaker 2>The market now, so Peter Krause. And then who would

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<v Speaker 2>be the bachelorette choice for you? Oh?

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<v Speaker 4>The bachelorette choice?

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<v Speaker 2>This one's easy for me. I would love to see

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<v Speaker 2>Caitlin Bristow running back.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, fine, there you know, there you am.

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<v Speaker 3>I wish I could be interesting and unique and pick

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<v Speaker 3>up somebody who you didn't just say, but that is that?

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<v Speaker 4>It would be it.

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<v Speaker 2>I would love to, especially with her sitting where she's at,

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<v Speaker 2>knowing her personality.

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<v Speaker 4>She's a little taken, I think, too.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, true, good point, I even think about that she is.

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<v Speaker 2>I also think that secretly there's been some recent seasons

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<v Speaker 2>where some of those girls that we saw on Paradise

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<v Speaker 2>would be great leads. The I forget her last name,

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<v Speaker 2>but you know, is it jess geraldy? I think is

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<v Speaker 2>how you can say. And I think some of her

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<v Speaker 2>friends that she moved to San Diego with, I think

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<v Speaker 2>could definitely be a lead or contenders to be leads.

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<v Speaker 2>I think Victoria Fuller would bring a really funny season.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it would be pretty wild. She kind of

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<v Speaker 2>had the Caitlin Bristow mentality, and I think that could

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<v Speaker 2>be it could be fun. As far as MINGO.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm very curious to hear this.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, he's married and been married for a long time.

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<v Speaker 2>I always thought Wells or Dean would have been great leads.

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<v Speaker 2>I think they would have brought a really fun like

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<v Speaker 2>vibe to the show. That you know, they both kind

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<v Speaker 2>of do what they want when they want, and I

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<v Speaker 2>think that was something important. So those would be like

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<v Speaker 2>my men, leads that I would have loved to watch.

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<v Speaker 4>Neither one of them would have taken it seriously.

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<v Speaker 2>No, and it would have been great.

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<v Speaker 4>Probably why they both weren't.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it would have been awesome.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, hey, Ashley, we only have time for one

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<v Speaker 2>more question here, and this is switching gears to a

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<v Speaker 2>more kind of relational, more intimate question. This is from

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<v Speaker 2>Michael and it was sent to me. He wanted us

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about it, and so Michael, I am answering

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<v Speaker 2>this question. He says, I'm from a small town in

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<v Speaker 2>eastern Canada called Frederic Fredericton, very clickie town. Everyone knows everyone.

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<v Speaker 2>I grew up without any social skills until university and

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<v Speaker 2>gain skills and confidence and friends when he was at university.

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<v Speaker 2>I was not diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so in

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<v Speaker 2>small towns you get labeled. That's an important sentence. Been

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<v Speaker 2>single on and off since mid twenties. I use dating apps, However,

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<v Speaker 2>I get bored usually any recommendations on how to meet

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<v Speaker 2>new people.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know how you get over it. I think

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<v Speaker 3>you probably get out there socially a little bit more.

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<v Speaker 3>You probably, like you know, join some community things, You

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<v Speaker 3>find more friends, and then the word is spread that

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<v Speaker 3>you know, this guy's actually really cool, we were wrong

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<v Speaker 3>about him all that, and then perhaps ladies or gentlemen,

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<v Speaker 3>whatever you're into, will get you know the word, and

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<v Speaker 3>then you can start hanging out with bigger groups. And

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<v Speaker 3>that's probably the best way of dating anyway, is meeting

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<v Speaker 3>through groups and through friends.

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<v Speaker 2>I did see recent statistic now that eighty percent of

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<v Speaker 2>people do meet online, and friends and family used to

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<v Speaker 2>be ninety percent of the way that people met and

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<v Speaker 2>that's dropped down to like thirteen percent here in the

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<v Speaker 2>recent years and only going to get more.

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<v Speaker 4>So that's why he brings it up. Yeah, dating apps

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<v Speaker 4>aren't the best for him.

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<v Speaker 2>I appreciate that Michael sent us this message. It means

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<v Speaker 2>a lot that he trusts us with his advice, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm guaranteeing he's listening with a hopeful ear of what

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<v Speaker 2>can he do. And I think actually touched on some

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<v Speaker 2>really important things. Here's what I've learned in my you know,

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<v Speaker 2>thirty five years on Earth. We all have something right

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<v Speaker 2>and there's really no way to quantify pain. There's different

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<v Speaker 2>levels of pain, different levels of trauma, but we all

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<v Speaker 2>have something that causes us to be different, and different

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<v Speaker 2>is good. And so here's my first piece of advice.

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<v Speaker 2>You got to own this difference, can be ashamed of it.

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<v Speaker 2>And so I think the more you advocate for people

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<v Speaker 2>like you, I think the more that you surround yourself

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<v Speaker 2>with friends, as Ashley said, and not that you're obsessed

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<v Speaker 2>with talking about this, you know, diagnosis that you've had,

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<v Speaker 2>but that you're not ashamed of it, because the truth

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<v Speaker 2>is it is what makes you you, and so you

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<v Speaker 2>own it so that it doesn't feel taboo. People can

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<v Speaker 2>ask you questions about it, they can be curious about it.

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<v Speaker 2>That's half of what dating is anyways, right, is asking

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<v Speaker 2>questions and getting to learn and understand somebody for who

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<v Speaker 2>they actually are. I think the other way to your

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<v Speaker 2>question of how you meet people, I think you pick

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<v Speaker 2>a few things that you're really passionate about, and I

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<v Speaker 2>think this goes It can be done in a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of different ways. You can sit down at home and

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<v Speaker 2>write down some things that really fire you up in life,

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<v Speaker 2>that really gets you excited, and as Ashley said, you

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<v Speaker 2>start to join volunteer groups. You start to join community

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<v Speaker 2>groups that are focused around these things. Maybe it's animals,

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<v Speaker 2>or maybe it's you know, children's hunger, maybe it's all

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<v Speaker 2>of those things, and you start to involve yourself in

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<v Speaker 2>those activities because your presence, your time, and your effort

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<v Speaker 2>are valuable. Those places need you and they need people

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<v Speaker 2>like you. So you get there because you're going to

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<v Speaker 2>meet people with similar interests, You're going to be able

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<v Speaker 2>to talk to them about the things that you're working on,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're going to become a vital part of that

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<v Speaker 2>community where people know you and they say, yeah, that

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<v Speaker 2>person is such a good volunteer. For this great organization

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<v Speaker 2>in this small town that we live in. I understand

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<v Speaker 2>the social skills aspect. But here's the point. Here's the

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<v Speaker 2>thing that I know to be true. There is gonna

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<v Speaker 2>be somebody, and I believe there's gonna be multiple people.

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<v Speaker 2>They're gonna love you for who you are once they

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<v Speaker 2>get to understand you, once they get to learn from you,

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<v Speaker 2>once they get to hear you know why sometimes you

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<v Speaker 2>need to step away and get in quiet because you

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<v Speaker 2>get overwhelmed or whatever you know it is that happens

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<v Speaker 2>to you. They're gonna be like that just makes Michael Michael, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>Michael needs a break. That's okay. That to me is

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<v Speaker 2>the place that you can get to. But this first step,

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<v Speaker 2>and I go back to it, is to get confident

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<v Speaker 2>in the fact that yes, this is you, this isn't

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<v Speaker 2>going to change, and to own who you are so

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<v Speaker 2>that people can are to ask the questions that they

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<v Speaker 2>need to ask, like hey, why do you you know

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<v Speaker 2>hide out or why do you seem to get really

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<v Speaker 2>angryly quickly and then feel so bad for it? Like

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<v Speaker 2>they can start to understand this about you and they

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<v Speaker 2>can start to fall in love with who you are

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<v Speaker 2>as a person this. I know it feels daunting, and

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<v Speaker 2>I know it feels like you're looking, you know, through

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<v Speaker 2>the window at everybody else who seems quote unquote normal,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're like, I just want to be like them.

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<v Speaker 2>Why can't I react the way they are? The truth is,

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<v Speaker 2>once you get to know people, all of us have

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<v Speaker 2>our differences, all of us have our thing. That's what

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<v Speaker 2>makes the world.

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<v Speaker 3>Cool, beautiful. Answer, So good luck to you. I think

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<v Speaker 3>I think he's going to do I think he's going

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<v Speaker 3>to take your advice to heart.

0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:43.400
<v Speaker 2>Yes, it doesn't.

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<v Speaker 3>It will be easy, right, It's always well because like

0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:50.080
<v Speaker 3>signing up for that stuff, becoming part of the community

0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:53.520
<v Speaker 3>can be a little awkward at first, but once you're

0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:54.839
<v Speaker 3>like immersed.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, then it's then it's like high flying. I mean

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<v Speaker 2>it's kind of like you said when it comes to university.

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<v Speaker 2>Right when you step into college, you're like eyes wide open,

0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:08.959
<v Speaker 2>so scared, so nervous. Everything you can do, it's amazing everything. Yeah, weekend,

0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:11.079
<v Speaker 2>you're like, I know all my favorite places, I know

0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:14.319
<v Speaker 2>when people I want to join this, you know, it happens.

0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:18.520
<v Speaker 2>It's just life and own it. Own the differences. Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>that's been another episode of the Almost Famous podcast. This

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<v Speaker 2>is question to answer is a few fun ones and

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<v Speaker 2>then one from Michael. The one from Michael is very

0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:29.280
<v Speaker 2>special to all of us. If you're out there and

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<v Speaker 2>you have some questions that you would love Ashley and

0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:34.679
<v Speaker 2>I to talk through in the very you know, carrying

0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:38.680
<v Speaker 2>way that we try, then please submit those questions to us.

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<v Speaker 2>Until next time, I've been Ben, I've been Ashley.

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<v Speaker 4>See you.

0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.240
<v Speaker 1>Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on

0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:49.520
<v Speaker 1>iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.