Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to the cool people who did cool stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Margaret Kiljoy, and each week I dig
Speaker 1: into history and find all the radius stories of the
Speaker 1: Rattus people who did ship like overthrow governments and smash
Speaker 1: patriarchy and each children ums most week, this week's is Halloween. Well,
Speaker 1: actually last week is the Halloween. It's kind of confusing
Speaker 1: because next week is Halloween for us, but last week
Speaker 1: is Halloween for you. Every day is Halloween. My guest
Speaker 1: today is the one and only Jamie Loftus. Jamie, how
Speaker 1: are you? Hi? Oh I'm so tired, but I'm great
Speaker 1: and I'm ready for Halloween. Do you have Halloween plans? Marcaret? No?
Speaker 1: I well, I'm I'm going to go be alone in
Speaker 1: the woods on Halloween. Okay, that's said that that counts
Speaker 1: as plans. Yeah, yeah, and totally won't be spooked out
Speaker 1: at all. What are your Halloween plans? What my my Halloween?
Speaker 1: Because halloweens on a Monday this year, which is troubling.
Speaker 1: So I have like a Halloween part time job that's
Speaker 1: occupying a lot of my time. But on Saturday, I'm
Speaker 1: going to see Danny Elfman in concert, which is very
Speaker 1: excited the Pumpkin King. I guess that he does like
Speaker 1: an annual Halloween show at the Hollywood Bowl. I didn't
Speaker 1: know about it before this year, but I'm going, baby,
Speaker 1: I can't wait. Yeah, Sophie Halloween plans. Our producer is
Speaker 1: the one and only Sophie Lectreman. Sophie, how are you
Speaker 1: where your Halloween? Plans? To dress my dog and as
Speaker 1: many costumes as possible, and um that I hope that
Speaker 1: kids still. I'm gonna put a giant bowl of candy
Speaker 1: in front of my house because um, I would like
Speaker 1: them to have the candy, but I don't want to interact.
Speaker 1: M M. But I hope they don't steal my ball.
Speaker 1: They prefer it that way too mean. I think we
Speaker 1: all do. UM. And then I'm gonna go do some
Speaker 1: spooky ship yea, wait, are you wearing a costume? Um?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I didn't get that far on the planning,
Speaker 1: was just told where to be in when I like.
Speaker 1: Outfit choice not confirmed. I have one more question, which
Speaker 1: is what size candy bars are you rocking? I feel
Speaker 1: like there should be a mid size between fun size
Speaker 1: and full size, but I don't know that that exists,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's what I got. To be honest,
Speaker 1: I feel like they don't. They're definitely not full size.
Speaker 1: They're definitely not full size. That's I got Goldilocks exactly.
Speaker 1: But and I feel like the pack I got, I
Speaker 1: was like, this is like a very good like there's variety,
Speaker 1: which I appreciate. Um, but yeah, I hope they don't
Speaker 1: steal my bowl. That would hurt my feelings. And I
Speaker 1: hope that one kid doesn't ruin it for everyone else
Speaker 1: by taking all the candy. That's my biggest electrified the bowl.
Speaker 1: What if I like solid choice, I don't know, not
Speaker 1: enough to kill because that's just probably illegal, but enough
Speaker 1: that's more and more important. Like if they still the bowl, okay, fine, like, okay,
Speaker 1: I get it, it's you needed the bowl. But if
Speaker 1: they if one kid takes all the candy from the bowl,
Speaker 1: that will upset me and Anderson will fully narc Yeah
Speaker 1: that that will happen is the word you meant to
Speaker 1: say that. I know. I feel like it will, which
Speaker 1: would not be cool. People. No, I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1: I saw it has been. I saw it happen and
Speaker 1: I did spot. No, it's and then you go up
Speaker 1: there and you're like, oh my god, that's so nice.
Speaker 1: They put a bull, you put your head in the
Speaker 1: bowl no candy, and then you're like, wow, this person sucks.
Speaker 1: It's like no, some little ship had kids sucks. Anyways,
Speaker 1: that's been my rant. You should hide in the bushes
Speaker 1: and then shout it's the tragedy of the commons. Don't
Speaker 1: stop them and don't explain what the tragedy of the
Speaker 1: commons is, um, but maybe actually then follow them down
Speaker 1: the street and uh, do tell this story about the
Speaker 1: Nobel Prize winning scientists who disproved the concept of the
Speaker 1: tragedy of the commons. And just tell the like eight
Speaker 1: year old this, and I promise you they'll never do
Speaker 1: it again. It's Justice through Pedantry, which is the name
Speaker 1: of the podcast that you're listening to, just the Pedantry. Today,
Speaker 1: I'm going to explain the difference between hanged and hung. Uh,
Speaker 1: and then judge everyone who gets No. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to do that, Jamie. I was gonna say, I I
Speaker 1: don't know what today's episode is about. So when you
Speaker 1: said that, I started mentally preparing myself. Well, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna plow ahead with my script, even though
Speaker 1: I've ruined some of the jokes. Jamie, have you ever
Speaker 1: heard of Halloween? Oh? Yeah, yeah, this isn't a story
Speaker 1: about Halloween. This isn't ano about Halllen. Okay, but so
Speaker 1: we were just catching up. But it's a special Halloween
Speaker 1: episode nonetheless, because instead of talking about a real person today,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about a fake person or in
Speaker 1: my head, a more real than real person, an archetype,
Speaker 1: a god to some. Because it's Folklore Week on cool
Speaker 1: people who did cool stuff and this inaugural mm hmm,
Speaker 1: this this inaugural Folklore Week. There's only one lady who
Speaker 1: fits the bill besides Jamie Loftus. Of course, sometimes this
Speaker 1: person helps people. Sometimes she eats people. She lives in
Speaker 1: the woods and she hangs out with geese. She scoots
Speaker 1: around the forest and an iron mortar, pushing herself along
Speaker 1: with an iron pestle sweeping up her tracks behind her
Speaker 1: with a broom, and her hut sits on chicken legs.
Speaker 1: Because she is the one and only baba fucking yoga.
Speaker 1: Oh I feel it's my lucky day. Wow, this is thrilling.
Speaker 1: I didn't know her house was on chicken legs. That's
Speaker 1: very very creative. That's very scary. I know it's actually
Speaker 1: it's one of the most unique parts about the Bobby
Speaker 1: yoga mythology is the like the chicken like in many ways.
Speaker 1: We'll talk about this later, but like in many ways,
Speaker 1: like she's like a witch, right and then like but
Speaker 1: her houses on chicken legs, and she like sits in
Speaker 1: a mortar like mortar and pestle, you know, the thing
Speaker 1: you grind up. You might know this, but I'm explaining
Speaker 1: to some of those are heavy tips. Yeah, yeah, totally. Well,
Speaker 1: in this way case, it sits in one that's like
Speaker 1: big enough for a person and then like scoots around
Speaker 1: like rides it like a little cart. That's so that
Speaker 1: sounds both first of all awesome but logistically inefficient and
Speaker 1: probably really allowed. Yeah, that's true. You could probably hear
Speaker 1: Bobby Agat coming. Yeah. Um, well, she she sweeps away
Speaker 1: the tracks with a broom as she goes, like to
Speaker 1: clear so you can hear her, but you don't know
Speaker 1: where she went because you got cleaned up. Very tree
Speaker 1: falls in the woods, except not really at all. Maybe
Speaker 1: the opposite here, if Bobby Agata moves through the woods
Speaker 1: and no one survives to hear to tell the tale.
Speaker 1: Did it ever happen? Then she probably knocked down that
Speaker 1: tree that she ruins around care. Yeah, yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: fucking forest. I think the best way to introduce a
Speaker 1: figure out of folklore is to to tell you a
Speaker 1: folk tale. And so I haven't done like a direct
Speaker 1: reading on this podcast before, but I'm doing this reading,
Speaker 1: which you can still interrupt, just to put that out there.
Speaker 1: We don't have to. I confuse that when I went
Speaker 1: to your when I went to your live event, you're
Speaker 1: not supposed to interrupt it. Those stood up and started.
Speaker 1: I just think everywhere I go as a podcast, and
Speaker 1: I can interrupt whenever I want. You're the guest at
Speaker 1: every event, Ladies and gentlemen, Jamie loftus I said, after
Speaker 1: Jamie walked through the background in a hot dog costume.
Speaker 1: This is a seven translation of a story called Vassilisa
Speaker 1: the Beauty or Vasilisa the Beautiful or whatever. But this
Speaker 1: relation translate the title is Vasilisa the Beauty. M hmm.
Speaker 1: Once in a certain country lived a merchant. He had
Speaker 1: been married twelve years and had only one child, a daughter, Vasilisa,
Speaker 1: whom everyone called Vasilisa the beauty when her mother died.
Speaker 1: I mean, everyone says everyone called her Vassilisa the beauty,
Speaker 1: but obviously some people called her Vasilisa the beautiful and
Speaker 1: some people Vasilisa the fair Vasilisa. I mean, I appreciate
Speaker 1: that that's the only thing that we know about her
Speaker 1: so far. Yeah, I think, let's be clear. She's hot.
Speaker 1: She's falking hot. We are talking about a girl slash woman.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you would need to know
Speaker 1: about this character? Well? No, see, that's that's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's I need to know coming in that the protagonist
Speaker 1: is conventionally hot, or why would I continue listening to
Speaker 1: the story. Yeah, totally flipped my table in lea. Absolutely yeah,
Speaker 1: and don't worry. This whole story is absolutely there's no
Speaker 1: more problems, no, no, anyway amazing. So she's hot, yeah,
Speaker 1: and she's so oh no, but but she she does
Speaker 1: grow up, Okay. When her mother died, the little girl
Speaker 1: was eight years old. On her deathbed, she called her
Speaker 1: young daughter to her, took out from under the bedclothes
Speaker 1: a doll, gave it to her and said, listen, dear
Speaker 1: little Vasilisa, remember and fulfill my last words. I am
Speaker 1: dying and leave you with a mother's blessing this doll.
Speaker 1: Keep it always with you, and show it to no one,
Speaker 1: And whenever misfortune happens to you, give it something to
Speaker 1: eat and ask its advice. Thereupon the mother kissed her
Speaker 1: little daughter and died this merchant. The merchant, after his
Speaker 1: wife's death, mourned as long as was reasonable, which I
Speaker 1: don't know how long is reasonable. Yeah, that the fun
Speaker 1: that sounds like a fun um. There's certain phrases, and
Speaker 1: you know you're reading a translation where you're like something
Speaker 1: got lost there because that sounds so um, I don't know,
Speaker 1: no feelings. Yeah, yeah, no, totally. I actually switched to
Speaker 1: this translation from a different translation because the sentence made
Speaker 1: even less sense than the other translation. I can't remember
Speaker 1: it all the top of my head. Um. It was
Speaker 1: actually from a couple of years later, so I thought
Speaker 1: it would be more slightly you know, six year more
Speaker 1: contemporary translation. But post the post Titanic translation really changed
Speaker 1: the game. Yeah, absolutely, And I totally remember what year
Speaker 1: the Titanic went down. Oh, it's out. You don't want
Speaker 1: to know it went It went down between April fourteenth
Speaker 1: and April fifteenth, nineteen twelve. I used to sit on
Speaker 1: my roof every single year growing up during the times
Speaker 1: the Titanic was thinking and really just think about think
Speaker 1: about the lives lost during the Titanic. Very sick way
Speaker 1: to spend your childhood. Were you a goth kid? No,
Speaker 1: I was. I was just kind of a weird kid. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I feel like maybe we've talked about that. I
Speaker 1: don't remember. But I tried to fit into various alternative
Speaker 1: groups as a kid, and no one quite took me on.
Speaker 1: It was like just the wrong thing to mourn. No
Speaker 1: one mourns the Titanic. I tried. I tried the goth kids,
Speaker 1: but I couldn't quite hang. I tried the Juggalos, who
Speaker 1: were like such a nice group of kids at my
Speaker 1: high school, but they always played hacky sack in a
Speaker 1: circle outside and I wore a back brace and they're like,
Speaker 1: you can't play hacky sack happy juggalow. So I just um,
Speaker 1: I just played the oboe and minded my own business. Okay, Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I hope burns as long as is reasonable. Yeah, more,
Speaker 1: as long as it was reasonable, And then began to
Speaker 1: think about getting married again. He was a good sensible
Speaker 1: man and did not concern himself with the maidens. But
Speaker 1: best of all, he liked a certain young widow. She
Speaker 1: knew about children, had two daughters of her own, about
Speaker 1: the same age as Vasilisa, and of course could keep
Speaker 1: the house and do all that a mother should do. Okay,
Speaker 1: the mother married the widow who I don't think it's
Speaker 1: a name. Oh, I was about to say, I like
Speaker 1: the widow is my favorite so far, because I just
Speaker 1: like the energy that a second wife brings into a story.
Speaker 1: I have bad news for you about folklore and mother
Speaker 1: in law's Oh. I know folklore hates the second wife
Speaker 1: as an aspiring second wife. I'm always rooting for them. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: he made a mistake. He did not find her a
Speaker 1: good mother for his child. Vasilisa was the prettiest girl
Speaker 1: in the whole village, and the stepmother and the stepsisters
Speaker 1: were envious of her beauty. They treated her cruelly and
Speaker 1: made her do impossible tasks so that she might grow
Speaker 1: thin under the burden, and her complexion might turn dark
Speaker 1: under the wind and the sun. It was indeed, it
Speaker 1: was no life for her at all. Was she not
Speaker 1: going outside prior to this? Yeah, she was beautiful so
Speaker 1: of course she wasn't going outside. That's true. She had
Speaker 1: to she had to be kept indoors. But Vasilisa bore
Speaker 1: it uncomplainingly, and every day she grew more beautiful and
Speaker 1: plump than ever, while her stepmother and stepsisters grew uglier
Speaker 1: and thinner from ill temper, in spite of the fact
Speaker 1: that they never did anything but sit around with folded
Speaker 1: hands like fine ladies. How did this happen? Okay, that's
Speaker 1: literally what we do, so I'm still rooting for them. Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that's that's fair. Vasilisa's doll helped her. Had it not
Speaker 1: been for that, the poor girl could not have stood
Speaker 1: so much work. Vasilisa did not eat the daintiest morsels
Speaker 1: of her scanty, fair, but she put them aside for
Speaker 1: her little doll, and in the evening, when the rest
Speaker 1: had gone to bed, she would shut herself into her
Speaker 1: little room and give it the good things, saying, here,
Speaker 1: little doll, eat something and listen to my tale of woe. Here.
Speaker 1: I live in my papa's house, but I do not
Speaker 1: get any pleasure out of it. My wicked stepmother is
Speaker 1: trying to drive me out of the bright world. Teach
Speaker 1: me how must I behave and what must I do?
Speaker 1: This is like something that I would do with my
Speaker 1: American girl dolls and still do now as an adult
Speaker 1: American girl doll collector. This is, for example, a conversation
Speaker 1: I would have with my doll logan, have you ever
Speaker 1: been to the American Girl Doll Cafe? No? Where is
Speaker 1: this or anywhere? There's in most major American metropolitan cities.
Speaker 1: We gotta go. I think I'm like, I wonder if
Speaker 1: you would like it's um. They give you a three
Speaker 1: course meal you have to eat with a doll. If
Speaker 1: you don't have a doll, they'll lend you one. And
Speaker 1: yes they serve the doll tiny food. And yes you
Speaker 1: can drink there, and no, you don't need a kid
Speaker 1: to go. Um. I went for my twenty seventh birthday
Speaker 1: and I had a hell of a time. I think
Speaker 1: Margaret would either love or hate it. I kind of
Speaker 1: fund the fence on how you but it is um.
Speaker 1: It is fun. Just you know, just tip well and
Speaker 1: they cut you off it after after three blue moons. Okay, okay, good.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine drinking anything else in front of an
Speaker 1: American girl doll like no, absolutely and and they but
Speaker 1: and they will not serve the American girl doll a
Speaker 1: tiny blue moon, although I was hopeful that they might.
Speaker 1: I mean, it is a kid. It would be wrong,
Speaker 1: I mean, although some of them are probably older than me.
Speaker 1: I was. I mean, I would say that Logan, you know,
Speaker 1: if if I'm sticking to logan canon, I would say
Speaker 1: he would sneak a sip of beer, you know, sure
Speaker 1: as he canomically fourteen, Yes, but a lot of fourteen
Speaker 1: year olds sneap, sneak a little sip here and there.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to answer any of this about my
Speaker 1: own life. First drink, because my parents listen to this podcast.
Speaker 1: So I'm back on board with Basilisa. The doll would
Speaker 1: eat a little and give her good advice and console
Speaker 1: her for her sorrow, and before morning came, it would
Speaker 1: finish every one of Vasilisa's tasks while she was resting
Speaker 1: in the cool air or gathering flowers. The beds were
Speaker 1: weeded for her, the cabbage is watered, the pails filled,
Speaker 1: and the fire made. The doll also taught her how
Speaker 1: to avoid sunburn. It was fine to live with the doll.
Speaker 1: Does Logan do all that? All that? No, Logan has
Speaker 1: never advised me on my skincare routine even once. And
Speaker 1: I'm just realizing, like the magic of a doll that
Speaker 1: you're that you're dying relative gives you. Maybe it's that
Speaker 1: is the skin career. This is the second time skincare
Speaker 1: has come up on this podcast. Last time it was
Speaker 1: about the blood of children or the blood of the virgins.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I mean that's that is a classic skincare technique,
Speaker 1: and they don't You can still use it, but you
Speaker 1: they just call it something different now and I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say what it is, but it's highaluronic acid. That's
Speaker 1: the blood of virgins. Okay, okay, this gets deeper into
Speaker 1: anyone who listened to the episode where I talked about Batty,
Speaker 1: Now you know more about why that worked. Several years
Speaker 1: passed and Vasilisa grew up into a beautiful maiden. All
Speaker 1: the young men in town sought her, though none none
Speaker 1: of them would so much as look at her step sisters.
Speaker 1: The stepmother was crosser than ever and replied to all
Speaker 1: the suitors, we will not give the youngest one before
Speaker 1: the older ones. As soon as she had sent the
Speaker 1: suitors away, she would vent her spite on Vasilisa with blows.
Speaker 1: Now it happened that the merchant was obliged to go
Speaker 1: away from home for a long time on important business.
Speaker 1: The stepmother went to live in another house which stood
Speaker 1: near a dense forest, and in this was a hut
Speaker 1: where Baba Yaga, the witch dwelt. She was a wicked
Speaker 1: hat who never permitted any person to approach her, and
Speaker 1: she ate men like chickens. I love her girl already,
Speaker 1: I imagining the the like reveal of Angelica Houston and
Speaker 1: the witches as Bobby AGAs like reveal into the story. Oh,
Speaker 1: I love it. Having settled into her new home, the
Speaker 1: merchant's wife kept inventing pretexts to send the detested Vasilissa
Speaker 1: into the forest, but the girl always came back without accident.
Speaker 1: The doll showed her the way and did not let
Speaker 1: her go near the bobby Agaz hut. Autumn came. The
Speaker 1: stepmother one time gave the three girls their evenings work
Speaker 1: to do. She bade one to make woven lace, the
Speaker 1: second to nit stockings, but she set Vasilisa to spinning.
Speaker 1: She put out the lights throughout the house and left
Speaker 1: only one little candle where the girls were working, and
Speaker 1: she herself went to bed. While the girls were working,
Speaker 1: the candle began to gut her. One of the girls
Speaker 1: took the snuffers to trim the wick, but instead of
Speaker 1: doing so, she followed her mother's directions and as if
Speaker 1: accidentally put out the candle. Wait, what is the candle guttering? Help? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: no no, so so a candle guttering is where it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's okay, okay, it's it's doing the scary thing. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like starting to go out. Yeah. And then
Speaker 1: as for snuffers that somehow trimmed the wick, I do
Speaker 1: not know what this object looks like. I assumed it
Speaker 1: was one of those little bells that put on the candle,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't trim the wick, so there must be
Speaker 1: scissors on the someone who's listening knows. As an avid
Speaker 1: viewer of candle YouTube, I can say that a wig
Speaker 1: trimmer and a candle snuffer two very different investments. You
Speaker 1: should argue with this and translator, because I think that
Speaker 1: you would have done a better job. That's sounded sarcastic.
Speaker 1: I mean it wasn't earnest, but it was somewhere in
Speaker 1: between the two. I'm trying to make fun of Okay,
Speaker 1: now what are we going to do, asked the girls.
Speaker 1: There's not a light in the whole house, and our
Speaker 1: stints are not finished. We must go to the bobby
Speaker 1: Aga after a light. I have all the light I
Speaker 1: want from my bosom pin, said the one who is
Speaker 1: working on the lace. I won't go, and I won't go,
Speaker 1: said the one who was knitting stockings. I have enough
Speaker 1: light from my knitting needles. Vasilisa must go after the light,
Speaker 1: cried both of them. Hurry to Babba Yaga the witch
Speaker 1: and get it, and they drove her out of the room.
Speaker 1: Vasilisa went into her little room, set before her doll
Speaker 1: the supper that she had saved for her, and said, now, dolly,
Speaker 1: take your supper and listen to my tale of woe.
Speaker 1: They're sending me to the bobby Yaga after fire, and
Speaker 1: the bobby Aga will eat me. The doll ate the food,
Speaker 1: and her eyes gleamed like two candles. Do not be afraid,
Speaker 1: little Vasilisa, she said, sounding very much like a biblical angel. No, okay,
Speaker 1: go whi or they send you. Only keep me with
Speaker 1: you always. When you have me, you have nothing to
Speaker 1: fear at the witch's hut, So Vasilisa made haste, hid
Speaker 1: the doll in her pocket, and, having crossed herself, went
Speaker 1: into the dense forest. As she went along, tremblingly, a
Speaker 1: horseman suddenly galloped past her. He was white, his dress
Speaker 1: was white, the horse he rode was white, and the
Speaker 1: horses trappings were white. Outdoors, it began to grow light.
Speaker 1: So that's that's going to be a metaphor, And that's
Speaker 1: going to be a metaphor for something. What what did
Speaker 1: you read ahead of? You already knew this story. Okay, this,
Speaker 1: this damn doll is cracking me up. This doll goes
Speaker 1: back and forth between being like an employee of Vasilisa's
Speaker 1: and then randomly acting like the Godfather, Like I'm picturing
Speaker 1: the doll with like cutting a steak, being like, don't
Speaker 1: worry about it, bring me in Witch's house. We're going
Speaker 1: to take care of this. No. Like, the doll is
Speaker 1: absolutely the uninterrogated character in this Like all of the
Speaker 1: other characters have like these like explanations and like Bobby
Speaker 1: yagas like this crazy witch, but nothing about the fucking
Speaker 1: doll that is Like, this doll is very versatile in
Speaker 1: the roles they can fill in this story because it's like,
Speaker 1: I I love the doll, and I am picturing like
Speaker 1: kind of a Danny de Vito voice coming out of
Speaker 1: coming out of a doll to take to take care
Speaker 1: of the situation. I'm just I think the doll represents
Speaker 1: financial privilege, but I'm not sure. Because you can, just
Speaker 1: like your mom died, leave to here with this blessing
Speaker 1: where you don't have to do any work. You don't
Speaker 1: have to worry about anything because anytime you're worried, you
Speaker 1: just fall back on it, stand inside and be hot.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's the moral. Yeah, yeah, morals are not great. Okay.
Speaker 1: She walked farther and another horseman gallop past. He was read,
Speaker 1: his clothing was red, and he rode a red horse.
Speaker 1: The sun began to rise. Vasilisa walked all night and day,
Speaker 1: and only towards the next evening did she reach the
Speaker 1: clearing where stood the Baba Yaga's hut. The fence around
Speaker 1: the hut was made of men's bones, and the posts
Speaker 1: were decorated with human skulls instead of doorposts, where men's
Speaker 1: leg bones instead of shutters were arms. Instead of a
Speaker 1: lock was a mouth with sharp teeth. I'm getting the idea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would love if this description went on for ten
Speaker 1: bab pages. Like instead of a door knob, there there
Speaker 1: was a little There is a little vial of hair
Speaker 1: instead of a totally there's a fingernail instead of one
Speaker 1: of those things that goes on the window. The doorbell
Speaker 1: was just a guy who was like, you can hit
Speaker 1: me with a stick. I'll yell. You have to spank
Speaker 1: someone with a stick or she won't come to the door. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And actually, apparently in the original before this translation, they
Speaker 1: then talked about the chicken legs, but the translator was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know, that seems complicated, and it was like
Speaker 1: ruining his vibe. Wow, this translator, I really have some
Speaker 1: because like that's the part. Yeah, it's a big, it's
Speaker 1: a big. Yeah, that's very scary. Yeah, Vasilisa was benumbed
Speaker 1: with terror, and which obviously doesn't make any sense unless
Speaker 1: it's the chicken legs, so okay, But Vasilisa was benumbed
Speaker 1: with terror and stood as if rooted to the spot.
Speaker 1: Suddenly another horseman came riding along. He was black, his
Speaker 1: clothing was black, and he rode a black horse. He
Speaker 1: galloped up to the bobby AGA's gates and disappeared as
Speaker 1: if he had sunk through the earth. Night had come,
Speaker 1: but the darkness did not last long. In the skulls
Speaker 1: on the fence, eyes gleamed, and it was as light
Speaker 1: as noon all over the clearing. Vasilisa shook with terror,
Speaker 1: but not knowing where to run, she remained where she was.
Speaker 1: Soon a terrible noise was heard in the forest. The
Speaker 1: trees trembled and the dry leaves rustled. It was the
Speaker 1: Bobba Yaga coming. She stormed along in a mortar. She
Speaker 1: whipped it up with her pestle, and she swept away
Speaker 1: the tracks with her besom bessum which I looked it up.
Speaker 1: It's a It just means an old which sproom like cool. Wait,
Speaker 1: new word for bessm b e s o M. I
Speaker 1: don't know how to pronounce it. I probably should have
Speaker 1: looked it up. No, I'm into it. She came up
Speaker 1: to the gates, paused and sniffing all around. Cried, Foo
Speaker 1: foo foo, I smell Russian breath. Who is here? Vasilisa approached.
Speaker 1: Vasilisa approached the old Dame with fear and trembling, and
Speaker 1: bowing low said, it is I Granny, my stepmother's daughter,
Speaker 1: sent me to you to get some fire because there's
Speaker 1: like nowhere else in town. She could have gotten fire
Speaker 1: with two days walk. But you know whatever I'm imagining
Speaker 1: like be Arthur, like I'm trying to I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get a visual on Baba Yaga. But who do I
Speaker 1: want to hear storm out and say I smell Russian blood?
Speaker 1: Be Arthur, I think. Okay, wait, who's be Arthur. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna admit that I don't. She's the tall golden
Speaker 1: girl mark oh ship Okay, yep, yeah that would It
Speaker 1: works for me. It works for me, good, exclaimed the
Speaker 1: Bobby Aga. That is a good actor. No good, explained
Speaker 1: Bobby Aga. I know them. Live on and do some
Speaker 1: work for me and then I will give you some fire.
Speaker 1: But if you do not do it, then I will
Speaker 1: eat you up. She turned to the gates and cried, hey,
Speaker 1: my strong fence, give way, open my high gates open.
Speaker 1: The gates opened and the Bobby Yaga went in, and
Speaker 1: Vasilisa followed her, and then all was closed tight again.
Speaker 1: As soon as she entered the room, the Bobby Agatha
Speaker 1: stretched herself out and said to Vassilisa, bring me here,
Speaker 1: what is on the stove? I want to eat? And
Speaker 1: what do you think Jamie Loftus that that there was
Speaker 1: to eat which is hot? M m well, I could
Speaker 1: imagine some homemade stuff, but wouldn't it be better if
Speaker 1: they were, like maybe some sponsored products. I was just
Speaker 1: thinking that. I was thinking, what is better for Vasilisa
Speaker 1: and Bobby Aga and for you the listener than a
Speaker 1: hardy stew made of potatoes sponsor of the show, the
Speaker 1: concept of potatoes. You're sponsored by hardy stu made of potatoes.
Speaker 1: We are, we are. But I for sure thought one
Speaker 1: Jamie Loftus was going to come out and say hot dogs. Look,
Speaker 1: I mean, if there's good and if there's anything that
Speaker 1: is more likely to have the flesh of of question
Speaker 1: mark in it, is it not the classic dish the
Speaker 1: hot dog? The rumors are not baseless, all right, hot
Speaker 1: dog horror story. God it's too late, it's almost Halloween already.
Speaker 1: But a witch who blends children into hot dogs. Oh
Speaker 1: it's exciting. No one take the idea. That's my idea
Speaker 1: right now, change this sentence to bring me here, what
Speaker 1: is on the stove? I want to eat those hot dogs.
Speaker 1: Never mind who is in them, said the Bobby had gone,
Speaker 1: and you know what else was in them was all
Speaker 1: of the other products and sponsors of this podcast, like
Speaker 1: these ones, and we are back. And Vasilisa lighted a
Speaker 1: splinter at the skull's eyes on the fence and began
Speaker 1: to take down the food from the stove and give
Speaker 1: it to Bobby Aga. There was enough hot dogs for
Speaker 1: ten men. From the cellar. She brought bread and meat,
Speaker 1: obviously long meat and a long bread tube inat casing. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: beer and snap. I'm sure she's I think I think
Speaker 1: she I'm trying to think of, like, what is a
Speaker 1: villainous hot dog? I mean, but she's like I feel
Speaker 1: like she would know what she was doing. She would
Speaker 1: be it would be grilled, it would be natural casing,
Speaker 1: like she'd be eating good hot dogs. She's not boiling
Speaker 1: this ship, that's for sure. What about those, um, the
Speaker 1: really old the like twenty years ago vegan hot dog,
Speaker 1: the tofu dogs. I feel like that's the most villainous
Speaker 1: hot dog I can imagine. The Yeah that just like
Speaker 1: falls apart in your hands and you're supposed to be
Speaker 1: like thank you. Yeah, the old dame ate and drank,
Speaker 1: leaving for Vassilisa only a bit of soup, a crust
Speaker 1: of bread, and a morsel of roast pig, not even
Speaker 1: a hot dog. Then the bobby Aga lay down to sleep, saying,
Speaker 1: when morning comes, I am going out. Keep your eyes open.
Speaker 1: Clean the court, sweep the hut, get the dinner, prepare
Speaker 1: the bedclothes. Then go into the corn bin, take forty
Speaker 1: bushels of wheat and clean it a fennel. Have all
Speaker 1: of this completely done, or I will eat you up.
Speaker 1: After giving this command, the bobby agab began to snore Vasilisa,
Speaker 1: but the old dame's leavings before the doll burst into
Speaker 1: tears and said, now eat little doll, and listen to
Speaker 1: my tale of woe. The Bobba Yaga has given me
Speaker 1: such a heavy task perform, and she threatens to eat
Speaker 1: me up if it is not all accomplished. Help me privilege.
Speaker 1: The doll replied, if you're not Vasilisa, eat your supper,
Speaker 1: say your prayers, and go to sleep. Morning is wiser
Speaker 1: than the evening, which is actually good advice, that is
Speaker 1: an actual good moral, that is true. I mean, I
Speaker 1: feel like it's pulled from the same logic of like,
Speaker 1: don't go to bed angry, don't make any big decisions
Speaker 1: late at night. Yeah, but this is like the Dolls
Speaker 1: and Godfather mode again. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. While let's sitting
Speaker 1: there with a tiny fork and spoon eating the cutting up, yeah,
Speaker 1: cutting up a hot dog. It's taking a lot of effort,
Speaker 1: but they're so confident that you're like, ash, she'll get it,
Speaker 1: it's mine, and then it starts eating it like um,
Speaker 1: like when a Lord of the Rings villain is like
Speaker 1: eating really gross and sickly at a feast, and like
Speaker 1: it's like a representation. Yeah yeah, and then everyone's like,
Speaker 1: I have musophonia, please. Vasilisa did so. She awoke rather early,
Speaker 1: but the Bobby I got was up before her and
Speaker 1: was king out the window. The eyes and the skulls
Speaker 1: were growing dim, and now the white horseman galloped by
Speaker 1: and it became quite bright. The Bobby Aga went outdoors whistled,
Speaker 1: and before her appeared her mortar and pestle and bassoom.
Speaker 1: The red Horseman flashed by, and the sun came up.
Speaker 1: The Bobby Aga got into her mortar and started off.
Speaker 1: She spurred it on with the pestle and swept away
Speaker 1: the traces with her bassom. Vasilisa was left alone and
Speaker 1: she began to investigate the Bobby Eaga's house. She was
Speaker 1: amazed at the abundance of everything, and she could not
Speaker 1: make up her mind which tasks she would take hold
Speaker 1: of first. But she soon discovered that her work was
Speaker 1: done for her already. The doll was just separating out
Speaker 1: from the wheat the last grains of the fennel. Oh
Speaker 1: you are my dear deliverer, exclaimed Vasilisa. You have saved
Speaker 1: me from misfortune. All that is left for you to
Speaker 1: do is to get dinner, replied the doll, climbing into
Speaker 1: Vasilisa's pocket. Get it and God be with you. But
Speaker 1: now take a good rest for your health. Vasilisa is
Speaker 1: going to get hit with the invoice while lifetime from
Speaker 1: this doll to She's thinking, this is like some sort
Speaker 1: of long term internship. This doll is going to come
Speaker 1: back for her money. This is by it, okay. Toward evening,
Speaker 1: Vasilisa left the table and waited for the Bobby Aga.
Speaker 1: It began to grow dark. The black horseman galloped by
Speaker 1: the gates. Then the eyes and the skulls began to
Speaker 1: gleam the trees trembled, the leaves rustled. Up came the
Speaker 1: bobby Aga. Vasilisa met her. Is her work all done?
Speaker 1: Asked the hag. You can see for yourself, granny, replied Vasilisa.
Speaker 1: The bobby Aga looked all around and became very angry,
Speaker 1: because there was nothing to be angry about. We've all
Speaker 1: been there. Okay, yeah, wow hashtag relatable content from the
Speaker 1: bobby Aga. Very good, she said, sullenly. Then she cried,
Speaker 1: my faithful servants, my bosom friends, grind my wheat for me.
Speaker 1: Instantly appeared three pairs of hands seized the wheat and
Speaker 1: carried it out of sight. The witch ate her supper,
Speaker 1: laid down to sleep, and gave again Basilisa her orders tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Do the same as you did today, But above all,
Speaker 1: take from the corn crib the poppy and clean it
Speaker 1: of all dirt to the last seed. You'll cause trouble
Speaker 1: for someone if the least a bit of earth is
Speaker 1: mixed with the poppy. Then she turned her face to
Speaker 1: the wall and began to snore. As before, Vasilisa gave
Speaker 1: her doll something to eat. The doll ate it and
Speaker 1: told her what she had told her the night before
Speaker 1: pray to God and go to sleep. Morning is wiser
Speaker 1: than evening. All shall be done, dear little Vasilisa. In
Speaker 1: the morning, Bobby Aga again flew away in her mortar,
Speaker 1: and Vasilisa and the doll quickly accomplished the work that
Speaker 1: was to be done. In the evening, the old hag
Speaker 1: came home, inspected everything, and cried out, my faithful servants,
Speaker 1: my bosom friends, make some oil out of this poppy.
Speaker 1: Three pairs of hands appeared, seized the poppy, and carried
Speaker 1: it out of sight. The bobby Aga sat down to
Speaker 1: its supper, and while she ate, Vasilisa stood by in silence.
Speaker 1: Why don't you have something to say to me, asked
Speaker 1: the witch. You stand there like one tongue tied. I
Speaker 1: did not dare to, said Vasilisa, But if you will
Speaker 1: allow me, I should like to ask you something. Ask away.
Speaker 1: Only remember not every question leads to good. If you
Speaker 1: come to know too much, you will quickly grow old.
Speaker 1: Oh scary, uh, scary message. Also, why is the Vasilisa
Speaker 1: tried to poison her yet? Vassilisa is just come on,
Speaker 1: come on, yeah, well we'll actually talk about not that
Speaker 1: I want the Bobby you gotta get hurt because she
Speaker 1: sounds incredible. She sounds like a legend, and like she
Speaker 1: wouldn't fall for it. The the like why Vassilisa's a
Speaker 1: goody two shoes. Well, we'll actually end up talking about okay, cool,
Speaker 1: I only wanted to ask you about what I saw, Granny.
Speaker 1: As I was coming to you. I was overtaken by
Speaker 1: a white horseman on a white horse and white clothes.
Speaker 1: Who is he? That is my bright day, so the
Speaker 1: Bobby Aga. Then I was overtaken by another horseman on
Speaker 1: a red horse. He was red and in red clothes.
Speaker 1: Who is he? That is my red son, replied the
Speaker 1: Bobby Agaw. And what was the meaning of the black
Speaker 1: horseman who overtook me? Just at your gates? Granny, that
Speaker 1: was my black night? All are my faithful servants. Vasilisa
Speaker 1: remembered the three pairs of hands, but said nothing more.
Speaker 1: Why don't you ask something more, demanded the Bobby Aga.
Speaker 1: I am afraid of what you said might happen to me.
Speaker 1: If one comes to know too much, one grows old.
Speaker 1: It is good, said the Bobby Agaw, that you should
Speaker 1: only ask about what you have seen out of doors,
Speaker 1: and not what you have seen in the house. I
Speaker 1: do not like people to tell tales about me out
Speaker 1: of school, and I eat up those who are too inquisitive.
Speaker 1: And now I'm going to put a question to you.
Speaker 1: How did you succeed in doing the work which I
Speaker 1: gave you to do. Wow, my mother's blessings helped me
Speaker 1: talk shit and end up in a hot dog. That
Speaker 1: is I mean, that's your slogan. You have that back
Speaker 1: patch on your vest. But this is talk. If you
Speaker 1: talk about what you see in my house? Can I
Speaker 1: end up in a hot dog? What is that be
Speaker 1: gone for me? You daughter with the blessing. I don't
Speaker 1: want people who have been blessed. And she dragged Vasilisa
Speaker 1: from the room and pushed her out of the gates.
Speaker 1: Then she took down from the fence one of the
Speaker 1: skulls with the lighted eyes, put it on a stick
Speaker 1: and gave it to her, saying, here is the light
Speaker 1: for your step sisters. Take it. That is what they
Speaker 1: sent you here for. Vasilisa hastened home on the run
Speaker 1: by the light of the skull, and it did not
Speaker 1: go out till the next morning. At last, toward the
Speaker 1: evening on the second day, she reached her home. As
Speaker 1: she went through the gates, she was going to throw
Speaker 1: the skull away. Why of course, she said to herself,
Speaker 1: they won't need the light now. But suddenly she heard
Speaker 1: a quiet voice from the skull saying, don't throw me away,
Speaker 1: take me to your stepmother. Okay. Yeah. She looked up
Speaker 1: at her stepmother's house, and not seeing a light in
Speaker 1: any window, she resolved to go in with the skull.
Speaker 1: The first person she met spoke kindly to her and
Speaker 1: told her that since she had been away, there's been
Speaker 1: no light in the house. They couldn't make anything burn,
Speaker 1: and the fire which they tried to bring from the
Speaker 1: neighbors went out the moment it was brought into the house.
Speaker 1: Perhaps your light will keep, said the stepmother. They carried
Speaker 1: the skull into the house. Then the eyes gazed so
Speaker 1: steadily at the stepmother and the daughters that it burnt them.
Speaker 1: They tried to hide, but wherever they went the eyes
Speaker 1: always followed them. In the morning, they were burnt to ashes,
Speaker 1: but it did not touch Vasilisa. Wow, because she she
Speaker 1: didn't do ship and she minded her own business, Like
Speaker 1: how good girl. Yeah, you're starting to get you're starting
Speaker 1: to catch on This is not Bobby a Go's fault
Speaker 1: that she has used this way. Bobby, you got blameless.
Speaker 1: Ye did nothing wrong. Bobby a God did nothing wrong?
Speaker 1: Is a shirt totally. Then Vasilisa buried the skull on
Speaker 1: the ground, locked the house up, and went into the
Speaker 1: city and asked for shelter with an old woman with
Speaker 1: whom she had no relations, or who who had no relations.
Speaker 1: She said to the old woman, it is tiresome for
Speaker 1: me to have nothing to do. Granny, come by me
Speaker 1: the very best flax and I will spin it for you. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was like more evidence of them. She's acting so weird.
Speaker 1: Why is she acting so weird? The three Like, I
Speaker 1: know she didn't like her relatives and they were cruel
Speaker 1: to her, but they turned to ash and she's like,
Speaker 1: better bury this skull and go find someone to adopt me,
Speaker 1: Like what is wrong with her? All right? But but
Speaker 1: hear me out if I'm staying with some people. And
Speaker 1: then I murdered the ship out of them by accident,
Speaker 1: I might bury and then moved to a different city.
Speaker 1: I guess, So, I guess I'm just not expecting this
Speaker 1: from Vasilisa, who has not done really much active things
Speaker 1: so far. She was pretty. That's true, she was pretty,
Speaker 1: and she never got a sunburn, which this story is
Speaker 1: weirdly fixated on sunburns and just burned in general. Yep ye.
Speaker 1: The woman brought some of the very best flax, and
Speaker 1: Vasilisa sat down to her task. The work fairly glowed
Speaker 1: under her hands, and the thread that she made came
Speaker 1: out as smooth and as even as her hair. She
Speaker 1: made a lot of thread, the finest that was ever seen.
Speaker 1: No one could equal it. Vasilisa had gone to ask
Speaker 1: her doll's advice, and the doll had said, bring me
Speaker 1: an old comb in an old shuttle, even a curry comb.
Speaker 1: I will do it for you. So Vasilisa got her
Speaker 1: all that was asked for and went to bed, and
Speaker 1: the doll during the day made a splendid loom. Towards
Speaker 1: the end of the winter, the linen was all spun,
Speaker 1: and it was so fine that one could pass it
Speaker 1: through the eye of a needle like thread. In the spring,
Speaker 1: they bleached the linen and Vasilisa said to the old woman, Granny,
Speaker 1: take this linen and get some money for it. The
Speaker 1: old dame looked at the stuff and exclaimed, no, my
Speaker 1: dear child. No one except the czar should wear such linen.
Speaker 1: I will take it to court. What this is a
Speaker 1: very eccentric area, that's like imagine okay, imagine if you will,
Speaker 1: mark you you present me with a scarf that you've knitted,
Speaker 1: and I retort by saying I couldn't possibly wear this scarf.
Speaker 1: We've got to bring this scarf to the White House.
Speaker 1: We've got to Joe Biden needs this scarf. I need
Speaker 1: John mine and wearing this scarf today and I will
Speaker 1: personally what a wild reaction. Okay, okay, I'm on board
Speaker 1: that my adult that Taylor the American doult what's wait,
Speaker 1: what's your hi? Oh? Logan, Logan, Logan and Tyler are
Speaker 1: the same in my head. I'm sorry, Logan, same energy. Sorry,
Speaker 1: sorry too, Sorry to all the Logans and Tyler's out there.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, okay, so we're bringing we're bringing the Dolls
Speaker 1: scarf to the Joe Biden of the area. Interesting and
Speaker 1: what else should we bring to this ours court? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean you're supposed to bring certain offerings, and a
Speaker 1: lot of them I think should be sponsored goods and
Speaker 1: maybe even services. Okay, okay, well then let's let's let's
Speaker 1: listen and then pick through and pick our favorite, and
Speaker 1: we are back and none of those ads are good
Speaker 1: enough for Joe Biden. Wow. If there's one thing I
Speaker 1: know about Margaret Killjoy is that she wants what's best
Speaker 1: for Joe Biden. Nothing that can spreading about. Yeah, much
Speaker 1: like I feel about the Czar. So she went to
Speaker 1: the Tsar's palace and kept marching up and down in
Speaker 1: front of the windows. Bizarre saw her and asked, what
Speaker 1: do you want, old Dame. Your majesty, she replied, I
Speaker 1: have brought you some wonderful cloth. I do not want
Speaker 1: to show it to anyone except yourself. This doesn't turn
Speaker 1: into a murder of the Tsar thing, which is really
Speaker 1: confusing to me. Oh that's a that's a bummer. I
Speaker 1: was sort of hoping that Bobbig would have it in
Speaker 1: for the Tsar and something like, yeah, yeah, it's not
Speaker 1: where it's going though. No, although like I'm like, I
Speaker 1: probably shouldn't rewrite it on the flash. We could punch
Speaker 1: this up, but I think we'll worsh up this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: these are commanded that would be brought before him, And
Speaker 1: when he saw the linen, he was dumbfounded. Why did
Speaker 1: you think you should know? Um, what will you take
Speaker 1: for this? He asked? It will not cost you Anything's
Speaker 1: our father, I have brought it for you as a gift.
Speaker 1: Bizarre thanked her and sent her off with handsome presents. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's almost like the concept of folklore is to reinforce
Speaker 1: values that the society wants people to have. But how
Speaker 1: has bring the tsarre? Bring the tsar? All right? Whatever? Fine?
Speaker 1: From that linen, they started to make Bizarre some shirts.
Speaker 1: They cut them out, but they could not find a
Speaker 1: seamstress anywhere to make them. They searched long, and at
Speaker 1: last there's are summoned the old dame and said to her,
Speaker 1: you are clever enough to spin and weave this cloth,
Speaker 1: you must be clever enough to make some shirts out
Speaker 1: of it. Sovereign, it was not I who spun and
Speaker 1: wove this cloth of the old dame. It is the
Speaker 1: work of my adopted daughter. Well, let her make them,
Speaker 1: he said. The woman went home and told Vasilisa all
Speaker 1: about this I knew, said Vasilisa that this work of
Speaker 1: my hands would not suit them. She shut herself in
Speaker 1: her room and took hold of the work. She sewed steadily,
Speaker 1: without once letting it out of her hands, and soon
Speaker 1: a dozen shirts were ready. The Dame took the shirts
Speaker 1: the Czar and Vasilisa washed her face and hands, combed
Speaker 1: her hair, dressed herself and sat down at the window,
Speaker 1: waiting to see what would happen. Presently, one of those
Speaker 1: our servants came into the old dame's yard and said,
Speaker 1: our sovereign's are wishes to see the clever artist who
Speaker 1: has made him the shirts, and to reward him from
Speaker 1: his own hands. Vasilisa and went and showed herself before
Speaker 1: the eyes of the Tzar. When he saw the fair
Speaker 1: young girl who there's been no evidence that this character
Speaker 1: has grown old. Just be clear. I'm very curious. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you for clearing that up. Yeah. When he saw
Speaker 1: the fair young girl, he fell passionately in love with her. No,
Speaker 1: he exclaimed, I will never part with you. You shall
Speaker 1: be my wife. So the Tsar took Vasilisa town. Yeah place,
Speaker 1: this place is so stressful. It feels like Bobby Yaga is,
Speaker 1: or like the Bobby you got is the only person
Speaker 1: who is reacting to anything with the proper intensity. Absolutely, absolutely, so,
Speaker 1: the Czar took Vasilisa by her white hands and caused
Speaker 1: her to sit by his side, caused her to sit
Speaker 1: by his son cause oh this is so yeah, this
Speaker 1: translation is freaking me out, caused her. I'm imagining a
Speaker 1: soup lex like, I mean, what is marriage in a
Speaker 1: traditional night like back in the day anyway, But causing
Speaker 1: you to sit by someone else's side, I guess it's true.
Speaker 1: It implies lack of choice, and so they celebrated a
Speaker 1: great wedding. Vasilisa's father soon afterwards returned home. He has
Speaker 1: not like she's gone off and got herself adopted by someone.
Speaker 1: He was delighted with her good fortune. Go ahead, and
Speaker 1: it was he like, where is my wife at? Where
Speaker 1: is my step don't where do you care about that?
Speaker 1: You're right? His daughter has been caused to marry the csar,
Speaker 1: So his wife, he was delighted with her good fortune,
Speaker 1: and from that time forth he lived at his daughter's.
Speaker 1: Vasilisa took the old dame also to be with her,
Speaker 1: but the doll she kept in her pocket to the
Speaker 1: very end of her days. The end, the end. This
Speaker 1: story is confusing. I have I'm going to go full
Speaker 1: like the worst kind of YouTuber mode and be like
Speaker 1: all the plot holes and the Bobby Yugas story interesting,
Speaker 1: let's get into it. Looks like someone some writers didn't
Speaker 1: get the message that a story is supposed to have
Speaker 1: a beginning, middle, and an end. Jamie, you're triggering me.
Speaker 1: I do not like this. Wait, Jamie, where did you
Speaker 1: get that hat? What do you call that type of hat?
Speaker 1: Is that a Trilby or a Fedora? Lady, It's a Fedora.
Speaker 1: And in this essay I will be talking about the
Speaker 1: implications of the Bobbiaga why Vasilisa did nothing wrong? I oh,
Speaker 1: my god, what I do? That said? That said, I
Speaker 1: don't have a lot of questions about the Bobby God
Speaker 1: doesn't even get to come back. That's my said, that's
Speaker 1: my sadness. She disappears. So one of the things about
Speaker 1: the stories about Bobbia Gas, Bobbia Gas always a side character,
Speaker 1: Bobbia Ga sometimes Bobbia guys like the main villain, right,
Speaker 1: and this one Bobbia Gas barely even a villain. But
Speaker 1: Bobbia Gas always a thing that people are tested against
Speaker 1: rather than like really even a person. In a lot
Speaker 1: of ways. Um so, so I guess like in the
Speaker 1: internal logic of this story, like Vassily is a navigating
Speaker 1: and surviving the Bobby Yaga situation is just like what
Speaker 1: she needs to get her to get as our husband. Huh, Margaret,
Speaker 1: I have a question, which is what is the moral
Speaker 1: this story? So the moral of the story, as far
Speaker 1: as I can tell, the more of a lot of
Speaker 1: Bobby Aga stories is um, listen to your mother and
Speaker 1: don't trust the bad mother, which is either the stepmother
Speaker 1: or the wicked witch in the woods. Bobby Aga like
Speaker 1: often is the standing for like bad mom. It's like
Speaker 1: as the evil old woman figure. And so basically there's
Speaker 1: different like lessons. It's who gets thrown against Bobby Aga
Speaker 1: like leads to different things. And if you're a young girl,
Speaker 1: then being obedient is the way to deal with Bobby Aga.
Speaker 1: And I think if you're a grown ass man, being
Speaker 1: looking for a lady is a good way to interact
Speaker 1: with Bobby Aga. And yeah, I don't know, It's it's
Speaker 1: basically this like fear of the woods, like don't go
Speaker 1: into the dark woods of the which will eat you.
Speaker 1: But if you're good and obedient, you will survive that experience.
Speaker 1: And what is the scarier thing in this era than
Speaker 1: an older woman living by herself and seeming to have
Speaker 1: a nice time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, terrifying. And so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna talk a little bit. We're gonna talk about kind
Speaker 1: of who Bobby Aga is today and then when we
Speaker 1: come back Wednesday, we'll talk more about what it all means,
Speaker 1: and there'll be another story. There's another story, okay because
Speaker 1: this one. Sorry, I'm putting my Fedora on again. What
Speaker 1: is the so is the doll kind of this like
Speaker 1: personification of good good mommy, and then Bobby Yaga is.
Speaker 1: That's maybe the most famous story about Babagan. It's the
Speaker 1: one I run across the most um partly because there's
Speaker 1: this really beautiful art from edition of us Alisa the
Speaker 1: Beautiful that is like metal bands use it as their
Speaker 1: T shirts. Um, I have a Regana shirt, which is
Speaker 1: a really sick metal band. It's a do metal band
Speaker 1: and they use Specialisa the Beautiful as their art and stuff.
Speaker 1: But probably for others, Vasilisa is a popular character. That's
Speaker 1: yeah interesting. I mean I think it's like I think
Speaker 1: it's because the art. Honestly, there's like this like you know,
Speaker 1: Russian girl walking through the woods with a skull gleaming
Speaker 1: light on a stick. It's pretty fucking metal you know.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that was about It was about Okay, I
Speaker 1: see that shirt at the merch booth, I take out
Speaker 1: my credit Yeah, yeah, totally yeah, that's why. No, never mind,
Speaker 1: all right. And so, so she's the scary old crone
Speaker 1: that that lives in the woods and stories she helps,
Speaker 1: some stories she hurts. But in the ones which she helps,
Speaker 1: she always has the capacity to do great violence. She's
Speaker 1: never like, hey, little lost friend, here you go. And
Speaker 1: it's as I was talking about earlier, but now I'm
Speaker 1: just reading the script anyway, it's the clever girls, the
Speaker 1: ones who do as they're told, who survived their encounters
Speaker 1: with Bobby a gum. So who the fund is Bobby Aga.
Speaker 1: It depends on the story. You'll be shocked to know this.
Speaker 1: And there there are some things that they all tend
Speaker 1: to agree on. Bobbiaga is a wizened old crone who
Speaker 1: lives in the forest or at the edge of the forest,
Speaker 1: sometimes underground, but usually edge of the forest. Her hut
Speaker 1: stands on chicken legs. Sometimes it's two legs, sometimes it's
Speaker 1: four legs, sometimes it's goat legs, but usually it's chicken legs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, not that anyone asked, But I really love
Speaker 1: the chicken legs. I just think it's because also precarious,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, goat legs are sturdy. Yeah, chicken legs. Um,
Speaker 1: excuse me, Okay, sorry, I've bet Fedora on again. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is a it's a good Um. It's your inner self.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you're letting your true self be seen.
Speaker 1: The house can walk around on these legs. Sometimes it
Speaker 1: can move around, but more often it kind of stays
Speaker 1: in one place, and it can turn in place. Um.
Speaker 1: In a lot of ways, the house is its own entity.
Speaker 1: Often when the traveler arrives, they can't find the door.
Speaker 1: Sometimes the houses no windows or doors, and you can
Speaker 1: make the house turn around and face you with like
Speaker 1: the so you can see the door if you say
Speaker 1: the right command, which one of the examples of the
Speaker 1: right command is hut hut, stand with your back to
Speaker 1: the forest your front to me, which is very literal.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm saying that all the time. Yeah, totally. Um,
Speaker 1: that's what I do. That's super helpful. My self driving
Speaker 1: car that I totally own. That's how I get my
Speaker 1: car to come to me. Um, it's on chicken legs.
Speaker 1: That's it. That would be I mean, if there's anything
Speaker 1: that's going to get me on board with self driving cars,
Speaker 1: which feels near impossible. But if we're talking a little
Speaker 1: chicken legs that can read my mind, maybe plug me in. Exactly,
Speaker 1: they went down the wrong alley, like focusing on like
Speaker 1: Tesla and all these like scientists. It should have been
Speaker 1: focusing on on Bobby Aga, which is why I'm looking
Speaker 1: for investors company that will No, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: try and become an never mind. The hut is surrounded
Speaker 1: by a fence made of bones, with skull lanterns topping
Speaker 1: the posts. In some stories there's a skull missing, which
Speaker 1: is a spot waiting to be your skull. Oh, that
Speaker 1: is creepy. Inside the hut, she might be lying on
Speaker 1: the stove, her body stretched from one corner of the
Speaker 1: hut to the other, with her nose having grown so
Speaker 1: long it goes into the ceiling. Sometimes her breasts hang
Speaker 1: down over a car like a curtain rod um. A
Speaker 1: lot of old folklore is like really into being like
Speaker 1: and this lady is ugly, and by that I mean tits,
Speaker 1: saggy tits. People get really into that people, I mean
Speaker 1: people loves some some saggy tit imagery when it comes
Speaker 1: to a woman they're supposed to hate, picking up on
Speaker 1: some anti Semitic stuff. This is like, I feel like
Speaker 1: all the cartoon logic classics of a way to characterize
Speaker 1: a villain in the worst kind of way. But I
Speaker 1: love her. I love that she. How did she get
Speaker 1: so big? I'm not it was sometimes actually a lot
Speaker 1: of stories she's in ogress and like literally a giant um.
Speaker 1: And I'll talk a little bit about the origins of
Speaker 1: that version of it. Uh. Sometimes she stirs the coals
Speaker 1: of her fire with her nose. Uh. Sometimes she's a
Speaker 1: regular sized woman and is like rail thin and ugly.
Speaker 1: Sometimes she has bear claws for hands. Sometimes she has
Speaker 1: iron teeth, and sometimes has iron teeth like protrude from
Speaker 1: her gums, either like boar tusks or just like kind
Speaker 1: of like sideways like sticking out. Did she ever have
Speaker 1: guns for hands? Yeah? Probably, Um. I can't imagine a
Speaker 1: version where she doesn't have guns from hands actually, um.
Speaker 1: And like one of the things that a lot of
Speaker 1: there's a lot of feminists who quite like Bobby Agad
Speaker 1: for some odd reason, and one of the main one
Speaker 1: one of the things that comes up is that like
Speaker 1: she just does not give a ship that she's ugly.
Speaker 1: She like revels in her power, right, And that's like
Speaker 1: the beauty of being a crone is like your your past,
Speaker 1: the judgment of society that wants. Like Vasilisa only has
Speaker 1: one value, and it's that she's beautiful and obedient. I
Speaker 1: guess she has two values. Bobby Aga has all kinds
Speaker 1: of value because she can like funk everything up that
Speaker 1: she wants and she controls night and day and the
Speaker 1: sun and ship. You know, I love that rate of
Speaker 1: it because it's like, yeah, I mean, Vasily is the
Speaker 1: beautiful I know we're supposed to view her as the
Speaker 1: virtuous hero, but it's like everything about her that's considered
Speaker 1: societally desirable is what is also actively hindering her life
Speaker 1: totally being any kind of interesting of like, okay, you
Speaker 1: we think you're beautiful, so you can never go outside
Speaker 1: or have an experience and uh the czarre things. You're beautiful,
Speaker 1: so you actually have to marry him today right now,
Speaker 1: and you're going to be caused to sit next to him.
Speaker 1: Is that what it been? Is? Yeah? So it is
Speaker 1: like she's and and then the Bobby it got well,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm I'm sure that there are drawbacks, but
Speaker 1: it's like she's just completely liberated from anyone's bullshit, which
Speaker 1: does seem to have its merits. And she's a homeowner. Okay,
Speaker 1: she's a homeowner, I know. And she doesn't have aspirational
Speaker 1: like she doesn't. She is her own doll. She is
Speaker 1: her own you know, godfather figure. She right, she doesn't
Speaker 1: need a doll. She does in need uh, she's she's
Speaker 1: in need a mom meet. Although I would I do
Speaker 1: want to know what her mom was like. Well, we'll
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about her origins. Um. I think
Speaker 1: maybe more on Wednesday, but I'm not sure where is
Speaker 1: it in my script? Who knows? The only way to
Speaker 1: know is to go forward. Sometimes she has a leg
Speaker 1: made out of clay or iron or steel. Sometimes one
Speaker 1: one leg has been like shriveled down to bone. Sometimes
Speaker 1: the things that people say about her rhyme like Bobby
Speaker 1: y aga bony leg rhymes in Russian apparently. And she
Speaker 1: leaves every day she's off to you know, she very
Speaker 1: she gets a lot done. She goes off to wherever
Speaker 1: she's doing in the world, usually to steal children for
Speaker 1: her meals. Um comes home every night. Out in the world.
Speaker 1: She rides around in a huge mortar, like a mortar
Speaker 1: and pestle. She crouches in it with her knees almost
Speaker 1: up to her chin, and some of the depictions, some
Speaker 1: of them, it's like a little bit yeah, and in
Speaker 1: one hand you wields the pestle, which she uses like
Speaker 1: a kind of like a riding crop to drive the
Speaker 1: mortar along. Um, although I've also seen it where like
Speaker 1: she's like kind of paddling like a canoe along the
Speaker 1: ground with it. Oh, I like that again, You're just like,
Speaker 1: this is going to be very loud, uh and and arduous,
Speaker 1: which means that while maybe that she's not the most
Speaker 1: you know, mechanically minded, she must be pretty strong, That's true.
Speaker 1: I don't think I could if you're heaven that thing,
Speaker 1: especially if you're in the fetal position while you're doing it.
Speaker 1: That takes some serious upper arm strength on the bobby
Speaker 1: of gospel. And she has three horsemen who are obedient
Speaker 1: to her, and she's not like you there ride this
Speaker 1: around for me. You know. Do you think the horsemen
Speaker 1: are unionized? Do you think they're paid? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I wonder about the Four Horsemen and the apocalypse, like,
Speaker 1: is that a collective? Is it like work around? Because
Speaker 1: if so, I don't know, fucking bring it. What's the
Speaker 1: internal drama with the four horsemen? Because you know that
Speaker 1: there's like polycule, there's a polyguele in there, and you know,
Speaker 1: like and then there's there's one person who everyone is like, well,
Speaker 1: if we had to vote one horseman off the island,
Speaker 1: we all know who it was. Sorry, but we're not
Speaker 1: going to go there. Sorry, sorry to that horse. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. In her other hand, she has
Speaker 1: a broom, which she uses to sweep away the tracks
Speaker 1: and some of the newer versions of the fairy tale
Speaker 1: and might say newhere, I mean like a hundred years ago,
Speaker 1: like the mortar itself flies and then she uses the
Speaker 1: broom to like sweep away the like basically like the contrails,
Speaker 1: like the way it disrupts the clouds when she flies,
Speaker 1: she sweeps it away with the broom. She's often surrounded
Speaker 1: by birds. Sometimes it's flocks of blackbirds that announced her coming. Uh,
Speaker 1: the wind also announces her coming. Sometimes black geese follow
Speaker 1: her around on her daily quest, maybe helping her find
Speaker 1: a that. Yeah. I love that. Maybe chickens used to
Speaker 1: follow her around and then something terrible happened. They kind
Speaker 1: of like vultron up into the house. Okay, I like
Speaker 1: that better. She smells when people are coming in almost
Speaker 1: every story about her, specifically, she smells that they're Russian,
Speaker 1: and it kind of reminds me of Jack and this beanstalk,
Speaker 1: you know, like a fi fi fo fum I smell
Speaker 1: the blood of in English mm hmm. And that's how
Speaker 1: there's I feel like there's there's certain types of people
Speaker 1: they can smell into cure women from the New England
Speaker 1: area in in a similar way, and they're not afraid
Speaker 1: to announce themselves either. Whatever the modern modern equivalent of
Speaker 1: fi fi faull FuMB is, it might just be dm
Speaker 1: ngu hi every week until you die. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: line hi hi hi hi, I smell the blood someone
Speaker 1: who's visibly insecure. Yeah, exactly. Uh. Russian doesn't have a
Speaker 1: definite versus indefinite article in speech like the versus a,
Speaker 1: and it uses other context to get those ideas across.
Speaker 1: It's not like lacking that concept as far as I understand,
Speaker 1: but translators often struggle to understand. And so something that
Speaker 1: has come up a lot, is Bobby Aga specific person
Speaker 1: or is it like a type of creature? H you know,
Speaker 1: is she Bobby Aga or she the Bobby Aga or
Speaker 1: she a Bobby Aga. And the answer to that is yes,
Speaker 1: she is all of those things, depending on the story.
Speaker 1: I like that that good answer. Sometimes her name is
Speaker 1: capitalized in the Russian, sometimes it isn't. So sometimes it's
Speaker 1: just like you know whatever, um. And in some stories
Speaker 1: she has two sisters, their names names of her sisters,
Speaker 1: don't I'm gonna give you a chance to guess the
Speaker 1: names of her sisters. The names of her sisters. What
Speaker 1: is a riddle? Baba and Yrga. No, it's Bobby Yagan,
Speaker 1: Bobby Yaga, they all have the same name. Have you
Speaker 1: said what Babba Yaga? Does it translate to anything? Or
Speaker 1: is it just like yeah? Okay? So then this is
Speaker 1: this cuts into this cuts into Wednesdays. But actually this
Speaker 1: I'm like, I should have put this here, so I'm
Speaker 1: being such a big So Baba Yaga as two different things.
Speaker 1: Baba is grandma uh and then a lot of Slavic
Speaker 1: land languages baba means grandma. And that's why like characters
Speaker 1: are like being like hey granny, right, um, and I'll
Speaker 1: talk about some of the ideological that gets interesting, and
Speaker 1: then you got people have said, oh, it translates this,
Speaker 1: or it's etymologically similar to this. But there's like eighteen
Speaker 1: different things that people think it's similar to as far
Speaker 1: as I can tell us, basically just a proper name
Speaker 1: in this context, um, because it's like some people are like, oh,
Speaker 1: it comes from serpent, or it comes from deceiver, or
Speaker 1: it comes from which, or it becomes from this, that
Speaker 1: or the other thing. So there is like the most
Speaker 1: common direct translation of Babbiaga's grandmother, which which is very
Speaker 1: fitting to how because like, oh, there's a grandmother witch
Speaker 1: who lives in the forest, right, But yeah, sometimes she
Speaker 1: guards the water of life, which can bring people back
Speaker 1: from the dead. Sometimes she guards both the waters of
Speaker 1: life and death. The water of life brings you back
Speaker 1: from the dead, but the water of death reconstitutes your
Speaker 1: corpse because it's like the water of corpses. So if
Speaker 1: you're like beheaded or whatever, you can't just like sprinkle
Speaker 1: the water of life on you, right, or you'll come
Speaker 1: back from the dead entire, right, and then you'll just
Speaker 1: you'll just be in extreme pain. Yeah, so you need
Speaker 1: both the waters of life and death. Sometimes she sucks
Speaker 1: the life out of women out by their breasts. There
Speaker 1: is quite possibly a fair amount of lesbianism and the
Speaker 1: older stories that was kind of left out of the
Speaker 1: translations into English. And I've only found references to this
Speaker 1: in like an academic book that's like, oh and some
Speaker 1: of the subtext of this was left out of the translations,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, motherfucker, giving this subtext, this is all
Speaker 1: I want. Yeah, I was like, Um, there's maybe a
Speaker 1: lot of people out there who would love to hear
Speaker 1: a story about a mysterious woman in the woods sucking
Speaker 1: the life out of your table. There's maybe just a
Speaker 1: lot of people who want to hear that. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: think that we could probably make a living writing those stories. Actually,
Speaker 1: um fifty shape never mind, Um, maybe better than any
Speaker 1: of that. Anyway, she has and there's actually so Babbia
Speaker 1: got is the main name that people use for now,
Speaker 1: but she has dozens or hundreds of names. Uh, Like
Speaker 1: most of the iconic figures out of folklore. Um, she's
Speaker 1: most known for being Russian, but there's versions of her
Speaker 1: found in pretty much every Slavic culture, and echoes of
Speaker 1: her can be found throughout the world, and like comparable
Speaker 1: figures can be found in cultures are around the world.
Speaker 1: And one of the things that's interesting about her, she's
Speaker 1: the figure of the witch right, but in most Western
Speaker 1: European belief which is our individual mortal women who made
Speaker 1: some kind of pact with the devil um, bobby Aga
Speaker 1: is more of a force of nature herself. She doesn't
Speaker 1: need the devil. There's one origin for her story for
Speaker 1: her that involves the devil. The Devil's like, you know
Speaker 1: what I need? I need like a bad bitch. So
Speaker 1: he finds twelve of the worst women he could find
Speaker 1: and he throws them into the devil stupot, cooks them up,
Speaker 1: he inhales the steam, and then he spits back into
Speaker 1: the cauldron and out pops Bobby I hope he at
Speaker 1: least made like a sexy calendar with them, the twelve
Speaker 1: of the worst women in the world. That's a calendar
Speaker 1: that would be really appealing to me. Wait, so he
Speaker 1: boiled twelve women together, and then the Bobby Aga was
Speaker 1: the result. Yeah, boiled the women together and hailed the
Speaker 1: steam of the boiling women and then spit and Bobby
Speaker 1: AGAs was created from the spin of the devil after
Speaker 1: hailing the steam of the twelve the people that he
Speaker 1: hired for the calendar. Wow, that's it. That's a very
Speaker 1: um thorough cooking process. Um. I don't think that's where
Speaker 1: Bobby Got comes from. That's like one version, right, but
Speaker 1: it is a little bit later than Bobby A. Gaza
Speaker 1: as a specifically constituted mythical character. And when we come
Speaker 1: back on Wednesday, we'll talk about where she comes from
Speaker 1: as my cliffhanger. But doesn't we don't have to like
Speaker 1: end it there if you have like thoughts. But that's
Speaker 1: why I got for a cliffhanger. No, I mean, I
Speaker 1: have a million more questions, but I feel I feel
Speaker 1: as if all maybe revealed. It might be, but well,
Speaker 1: first let's reveal Jamie Lofti as a person who has
Speaker 1: stuff to plug. Mhm yeah, okay, I'm sorry, I'm like
Speaker 1: coming down from this Bobby Got high. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: to learn more about her. I've only heard about her,
Speaker 1: I think only in name. So this is thrilling. Um.
Speaker 1: I guess what I will plug is. You can follow
Speaker 1: me on Twitter and Instagram. Um, at Jamie Lofts. Help
Speaker 1: or uh, you can buy my book about Bobby Yuga's
Speaker 1: favorite dish, hot dogs. Uh, my my book all about
Speaker 1: the history and uh sort of, I can't think of
Speaker 1: the word. There's usually a big word I use. It's
Speaker 1: not coming right now. It's all about it's everything about dogs.
Speaker 1: It's called raw Dog. It's anti dist establishment. Terryan is
Speaker 1: everyone's go to big word the But yeah, you can
Speaker 1: buy Raw Dog. You can preorder it now. It comes
Speaker 1: out next May. It would be awesome if you pre
Speaker 1: ordered it. I hear that that's supposed to be helpful. Um.
Speaker 1: Or you can listen to podcasts including Ghosts Chure my
Speaker 1: Scary little podcast on cool Zone Media. You can listen
Speaker 1: to it right now. You can. Uh so if you
Speaker 1: have anything to plug, listen to Internet Hate Machine on
Speaker 1: The Colsonian's Newest show with Bridget Todd. Wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts. Yeah, oh yes, okay, I'm on the Internet
Speaker 1: under my name. If you search me, you'll find me
Speaker 1: on the Internet saying I wish I was on the
Speaker 1: Internet less, and everyone like ha ha ha, and I'll
Speaker 1: be like, no, I'm serious, and then they'll be like,
Speaker 1: that's kind of an asshole. Thank you you say, since
Speaker 1: we're all people who like being on the internet, that's
Speaker 1: something you can do if you would like, And I
Speaker 1: will talk at you on Wednesday. Bye. Cool People Who
Speaker 1: Did Cool Stuff is a production of cool Zone Media.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts on cool Zone Media, visit our website
Speaker 1: cool zone media dot com, or check us out on
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