Speaker 1: Dead Ass podcasts. Is bouncing get crazy?
Speaker 2: Is it really?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: I think it might get a little crazy up in
Speaker 2: here if y'all spend a day with K.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass.
Speaker 2: Hey, I'm Kadeen.
Speaker 1: And I'm Devoued and we're the Ellis's. You may know
Speaker 1: us from posting funny videos with.
Speaker 2: Our voys and reading each other publicly as a form
Speaker 2: of therpy.
Speaker 1: Wait.
Speaker 2: I make you need therby most days.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 1: Yes, sir, we are.
Speaker 3: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 3: Li's most taboo topics, things.
Speaker 2: Most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 3: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead Ass
Speaker 3: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 3: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
Speaker 3: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 1: We about to take philosof to our whole new level.
Speaker 2: Dead Ass starts right now. All right, So, alright is storytime?
Speaker 1: Story time?
Speaker 2: Did you have a story time for me? You do
Speaker 2: have a story time? Honored that you have a story
Speaker 2: time for me? To talk about a day weight, K
Speaker 2: got a story that had a couple of go ahead
Speaker 2: do you think.
Speaker 3: This story is going to take us back to two
Speaker 3: thousand and seven. I was in the NFL, and that
Speaker 3: was way back. Kadeen and I were dating, living in Michigan,
Speaker 3: and Kadeen pretty much gave me an ultimatum, pretty much.
Speaker 1: Said, look, she get off the pot.
Speaker 3: I am not trying to be your living girlfriend or
Speaker 3: your baby mother. I want to get married, but most importantly,
Speaker 3: I have things I want to do with my life
Speaker 3: and I want to host TV shows. I want to
Speaker 3: be in front of the camera. I want to be
Speaker 3: an entertainment reporter. She she went through the list of
Speaker 3: all of these things that she wanted to do.
Speaker 1: And she just felt like at the time she was
Speaker 1: just stagnant.
Speaker 3: She had just graduated from college, got her master's degree
Speaker 3: in speech communications and performance, and I had to make
Speaker 3: a decision. And I was like, so, what are you
Speaker 3: saying is She was just like, nothing, like, if we
Speaker 3: don't make any you know, strides towards being married, I'm
Speaker 3: just going to move back to New York and start
Speaker 3: focusing on my career. And it was like clockwork. I
Speaker 3: think it was like three weeks later. That's when the
Speaker 3: the traffic reporter search was happening in Detroit, and I
Speaker 3: was like, yo, why don't you go out for that?
Speaker 1: And she made it to the top ten.
Speaker 3: But it was in that moment that I realized that
Speaker 3: got I got like a one percenter on my hands.
Speaker 1: I got a young lady here who.
Speaker 3: Has so many other gifts and talents, and the gifts
Speaker 3: and talents she shares me, if you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: But I looked at you, like, go through all of
Speaker 3: those different levels on that reporter search and it was over.
Speaker 1: I think it was over seven hundred people had applied
Speaker 1: and you made it to the top ten.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then eventually the top five made it.
Speaker 1: To the top five.
Speaker 3: And it was a time and sometimes even in your
Speaker 3: losses because you end up not getting the job, but
Speaker 3: the fact that you made it to the top five
Speaker 3: out of over seven hundred people shows that you're in
Speaker 3: the top one percent for people who can really do this.
Speaker 3: And at that moment, I say, you know what, I
Speaker 3: have to find a way for both of us to
Speaker 3: live out our dreams while being partners.
Speaker 1: For each other.
Speaker 2: That was great. I have something I was going to
Speaker 2: say that I just realized in this moment. But we'll
Speaker 2: save it until when we come back and we talk
Speaker 2: more about story time. Okay, all right, karaoke time. So
Speaker 2: in the day we k I didn't even give much
Speaker 2: thought to karaoke it because I feel like there's so
Speaker 2: many songs that could potentially bring true to the moment. Okay,
Speaker 2: however I might have I don't know if we did
Speaker 2: this song before, but it just is purposeful right now. Victoria,
Speaker 2: we just saw her at the Usher Experience when he
Speaker 2: had his residency down in Vegas, third to last show,
Speaker 2: and she has this song that's pretty much called Moment,
Speaker 2: and I forget how it starts. Oh, I got this
Speaker 2: feeling day brom me to you, so let me take
Speaker 2: away your pain and send it on my plane. And
Speaker 2: that man gave me a game hold life is fun
Speaker 2: of dream a few manifested slowly, so fucking fantasy is
Speaker 2: your motherfucking moment? Hey, it's my motherfucking moment, y'all?
Speaker 1: That this is a song, shoot man.
Speaker 2: I used to I was playing that song long before
Speaker 2: Victoria money on it, you was on it. That was
Speaker 2: like twenty twenty. I want to say, that was like
Speaker 2: one of my pandemic songs that I listened to all
Speaker 2: the time, like, when are we gonna have our moment again?
Speaker 2: And when I saw her and we met her backstage
Speaker 2: at the Usher Residency, she was so super sweet and
Speaker 2: I said, girl, I knew you were a star or
Speaker 2: the minute I heard that song. And I'm so happy
Speaker 2: for her. So shout out to Victoria Monteu and her
Speaker 2: accolades that she's accumulated over the past couple of years.
Speaker 2: She was a dope artist, beautiful person, beautiful spirit. So yeah, y'all,
Speaker 2: it's my motherfucking moment. I'm gonna tell y'all, why let's
Speaker 2: go take a break, pay some bills, and we're gonna
Speaker 2: come back and talk more about what we can expect
Speaker 2: from a day with k stick around. All right, So
Speaker 2: to address your story, time you telling that story about
Speaker 2: two thousand and seven graduating grad school because I graduated
Speaker 2: grad school in twenty eight was it was it?
Speaker 1: Did you do two years?
Speaker 2: No? I did two thousand and five graduate. You were
Speaker 2: twenty six.
Speaker 1: Seven year right, okay?
Speaker 2: Because I confused my years in yours sometimes because that
Speaker 2: was like a jumble for us. While I was finishing
Speaker 2: up grad school, Deval was in the NFL for his
Speaker 2: first year, so we had one year we were doing
Speaker 2: the whole distance thing. But you made me realize in
Speaker 2: that moment that a day with K what I want
Speaker 2: it to be is more than and what it will
Speaker 2: be is more than just an extension of Dead Ass podcast.
Speaker 2: But it's me getting a chance to finally put my degree,
Speaker 2: my tools, my talents to use. It's journalists. I didn't
Speaker 2: even think of it that way because we're so accustomed
Speaker 2: to the Dead Ass live experience being just like really entertainment.
Speaker 2: It's just like a fun night where people come out.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: We had the DJ, we had the theatric and I
Speaker 2: going to be that. However, a day with K not
Speaker 2: having you on the forefront, as you know, a co host,
Speaker 2: It'll just be me and having moments where I am
Speaker 2: displaying the things that I had worked so hard for
Speaker 2: that I haven't been able to exercise.
Speaker 1: And before we get here, the podcast in itself was
Speaker 1: all dedicated towards Kadeen becoming a daytime talk show host.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I remember we sat down with.
Speaker 3: Our manager at the time and they had asked us,
Speaker 3: you know, are you guys interested in doing the podcast?
Speaker 3: And I had said, at that time, the only way
Speaker 3: I'll do a podcast. If this can parlay into Ky
Speaker 3: getting her own show.
Speaker 2: That's a fact. And that's the reason why some episodes
Speaker 2: it almost seems as if I'm interviewing you. I mean,
Speaker 2: depending on the topic. But that's why it seems that way,
Speaker 2: or I seem of support to you, because a lot
Speaker 2: of times it's me trying to keep those you know,
Speaker 2: journalism skills sharp and you know it then became, of
Speaker 2: course Deval and Kadeen throwing some personality in there, and
Speaker 2: then in the live shows of course, including every one
Speaker 2: of the audience, including the rest of the cast at
Speaker 2: this point, which I feel like we have a cast
Speaker 2: between DJ Executive Triple and everyone. So a day with
Speaker 2: k is going to be just that, except we're going
Speaker 2: to pull the valve from it because Deval is now
Speaker 2: super busy doing his acting thing, which was the goal
Speaker 2: to begin with. So I have to in this moment,
Speaker 2: I know we're talking about to day, but I want
Speaker 2: to give you your accolades and flowers because you've worked
Speaker 2: so hard to establish yourself as a legitimate actor in
Speaker 2: the acting world in space and as you pull away
Speaker 2: from you know, the influencer title or the social media dad,
Speaker 2: the godfather of family content as you pull away from
Speaker 2: those titles and you really lean more into being a thespian.
Speaker 2: This is also going to allow me the space and
Speaker 2: grace to grow in a journalism or a more journalistic
Speaker 2: approach to how I conduct a day with K.
Speaker 3: And also also just to be clear, when we told
Speaker 3: you guys this was going to be a last day
Speaker 3: as podcast tour this past year, we were telling the truth, like,
Speaker 3: because of my work schedule and the fact that both
Speaker 3: of us still are really dedicated to being parents, we
Speaker 3: had to figure out what was the best thing for
Speaker 3: our family, what was the best thing for our careers
Speaker 3: moving forward.
Speaker 1: And we don't want to give.
Speaker 3: Y'all bullshit, Like we was like, we can just come
Speaker 3: out here and just throw anything together, you know, just
Speaker 3: to sell tickets. But we were like, no, it's just
Speaker 3: too important for us, yes to do that. But then
Speaker 3: K was just like, well, what about meet us doing
Speaker 3: a day with K where I go out on the
Speaker 3: road and I do all these things, And she had
Speaker 3: so many great ideas. You can tell them the ideas, maybe,
Speaker 3: but what you gonna do for the show, because the
Speaker 3: show is going to be slightly different, But what the
Speaker 3: show is and what it provides for the locations we
Speaker 3: go for those cities, it's going to be huge.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So before I start on that, you guys have
Speaker 2: been accustomed to and it makes sense for the Dead
Speaker 2: Ass podcast seeing Deval and Kadeen is the collective. But
Speaker 2: what we're trying to do more so now is to
Speaker 2: straight away from the Deval and Kadeen that you saw
Speaker 2: on like Black Love or like doing everything with family content.
Speaker 2: We also have individual paths that we're trying to pursue
Speaker 2: more actively, and I think both of us turning forty,
Speaker 2: we just kind of felt like, Okay, this was a
Speaker 2: good time for us to just breathe new life into
Speaker 2: what the Ellises have been, but also to what Deval
Speaker 2: and Kadeine looked like independent. So a day with k
Speaker 2: I'm excited about because when we go to these respective
Speaker 2: cities where I'm going to have these live shows and tours,
Speaker 2: I want to take opportunities in each city that I
Speaker 2: go to to highlight some local heroes, local businesses, up
Speaker 2: and coming people who are in those spaces who would
Speaker 2: like who have something interesting to share, something different. So
Speaker 2: think about if you will. Barbara Walters meets Oprah meets
Speaker 2: Ellen meets Kadean. I was gonna say Kadeen would be
Speaker 2: a little bit of everybody, kind of like pool together,
Speaker 2: but in a live experience so that people can I
Speaker 2: love what I wanted to maintain as I try to
Speaker 2: catapult myself into a talk show esque space. I do
Speaker 2: love the live show aspect. I love being in front
Speaker 2: of an audience. I love feeling the energy of the crowd.
Speaker 2: I love being able to look you all in the
Speaker 2: eyes and say, oh my god, y'all came out here
Speaker 2: for me. We're gonna have a good time. So there's
Speaker 2: going to still be a great balance of girls' night partying,
Speaker 2: getting together, karaoke, DJ and all that it's going to be.
Speaker 2: It's going to be fun, but it's also going to
Speaker 2: be mixed in with some deep down conversations. It's going
Speaker 2: to be mixed with a lot. So I don't want
Speaker 2: to give away too much because I want to give
Speaker 2: you a little bit of what to expect, but also
Speaker 2: to as we curate this show, to make it the
Speaker 2: best experience that it can be for you all. I
Speaker 2: just want to also talk to you and you can
Speaker 2: email Triple and and be like me, what are some
Speaker 2: things that y'all want to see on a day with K.
Speaker 2: What are some things that you want to see more
Speaker 2: of from me? Because that's been the request a lot lately.
Speaker 1: Let me be an executive producer in this moment.
Speaker 3: If you want to be a guest on a Day
Speaker 3: with K and we're coming to your city, because we
Speaker 3: are coming to your city. We're coming back to Chicago, Chicago,
Speaker 3: going finally coming to Florida, Gloria.
Speaker 2: Y'all been asking forever for us to get this. Y'all
Speaker 2: better show up and show out and sell out because listen,
Speaker 2: we haven't.
Speaker 1: Been to Florida.
Speaker 2: I have a special guest in Florida. So yeah, already,
Speaker 2: don't don't sleep, baby, don't sleep Houston.
Speaker 3: We're coming back to Houston to do another show there.
Speaker 3: But if you want to be a guest on a
Speaker 3: Day with K, if you have a unique story, an
Speaker 3: interesting job, a story that can help save lives. Because
Speaker 3: because Kadeen, when I tell you she's been on this
Speaker 3: health trip since she's turned forty, she is going to
Speaker 3: be speaking to some women who have some unique perspectives
Speaker 3: on how they.
Speaker 1: Save their own lives, oh for sure, and they're willing.
Speaker 3: To share that story for you guys, so that you learn,
Speaker 3: you know, everything doesn't always land on your doctor or
Speaker 3: your primary care physician. So this goal is to do
Speaker 3: some introspective lifestyle journalism. And if you want to be
Speaker 3: a guest on a day with K writing, if we're
Speaker 3: going to come to your city and you're going to
Speaker 3: be at the show writing, and we can make you
Speaker 3: a part of the show. Because remember Dad's podcast has
Speaker 3: always been about you guys. Anyway, anyway, you know, whenever
Speaker 3: we did the listener letters, when we brought people from
Speaker 3: the stands on stage, it's for y'all, And it's the
Speaker 3: same thing.
Speaker 1: It's just going to be K curating it the way
Speaker 1: she wants to do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to talk about everything, you know. I
Speaker 2: want to talk about business, I want to talk about motherhood.
Speaker 2: I want to talk about womanhood. I want to talk
Speaker 2: about the women three sixty. You know, there's so many
Speaker 2: different components that we have to be concerned about as women.
Speaker 2: So if I can find people who are doing things
Speaker 2: in different respective areas that can impact us and motivate
Speaker 2: us and inspire us as a whole as a woman,
Speaker 2: like hey, come on down. I am excited to see
Speaker 2: you start writing into Todad's advice at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: I think that was a good email address for now
Speaker 2: until we do anything further, but I think it's going
Speaker 2: to be really, really a good a good time.
Speaker 3: And also also just to be clear, it isn't a
Speaker 3: great space for women, but it's not only for women, right.
Speaker 3: I had so many dudes who ask me, like, yo,
Speaker 3: where could I find a place to meet a woman
Speaker 3: that is looking to be a woman through sixty who
Speaker 3: wants to have a career but also be a.
Speaker 1: Mom and a wife.
Speaker 3: These are the places, gentlemen, if you're looking for someone
Speaker 3: who is of equal yoke to you, if you're determined
Speaker 3: and deliberate about being a husband and a father and
Speaker 3: a provider and all of the an entrepreneur, come to
Speaker 3: these events and see that there are other women. There
Speaker 3: are women we are thinking just like you. People are
Speaker 3: trying to be delivered about the next steps in their lives.
Speaker 3: So this is not just for women.
Speaker 2: That's a fact.
Speaker 3: But be comfortable women when you come, because k is
Speaker 3: going to gear it towards you guys.
Speaker 2: That's a fact. And it's funny you mentioned that. That's
Speaker 2: good because I wanted to say also too, my guests
Speaker 2: are not only going to be women, right, I want
Speaker 2: to hear from men as well too. So if you
Speaker 2: are you know, a man who has a business, or
Speaker 2: if you're a woman whose husband does something, or if
Speaker 2: you just know somebody doing something interesting, I would love
Speaker 2: for that to be a space for y'all to come
Speaker 2: to because historically with our dead ass podcasts, it's funny,
Speaker 2: we used to see people come together couples and the
Speaker 2: women would bring the guys along, or one of the couple.
Speaker 2: One of the people in the couple, a man or woman,
Speaker 2: would bring their partner along, and one partner sometimes didn't
Speaker 2: know why they were there or what the show was
Speaker 2: about or what's the live podcast. But it's nice when
Speaker 2: you can just bring someone along for a date night
Speaker 2: and just make it an evening where we can have
Speaker 2: some fun together, you know, make it a weekend trip.
Speaker 2: If you want to come down to Florida with some
Speaker 2: girlfriends or with a couple of couples, you know, to
Speaker 2: have a good time. That's exactly what we're looking for.
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about.
Speaker 2: Sorry, so what are you most excited about?
Speaker 1: For it?
Speaker 3: To be honest, man, I'm just I'm excited to see
Speaker 3: you in your journalism bag, but also in your entertainer bag,
Speaker 3: because I feel like oftentimes you had to be the
Speaker 3: host of that ass podcast. Well I entertained, made people laugh,
Speaker 3: That's how it naturally was. But I'm interested in seeing
Speaker 3: you do all of this on your own because I've
Speaker 3: seen you do it in different facets. I've seen you
Speaker 3: go out and you know, be guests on other people's podcasts,
Speaker 3: but also other hosts shows that are online and stuff
Speaker 3: like that, and I've seen you do that, and I
Speaker 3: just want to see you continue to do it more
Speaker 3: in a larger scale, yeah, you know, and not be partnered.
Speaker 2: With someone or something.
Speaker 1: You know that someone is me, I know.
Speaker 2: I mean, if I'm going to be partnering with anybody,
Speaker 2: you're the best person for me to be partnered with.
Speaker 2: But I'm looking forward to being able to get back
Speaker 2: into that journalistic bag, that lifestyle journalism, to really look
Speaker 2: at the facts. I feel like right now, with so
Speaker 2: many people having social media and the access to a microphone,
Speaker 2: you know, everybody got a podcast, everybody got to show.
Speaker 2: Everybody has something that they're producing and putting together, and
Speaker 2: you know, I kind of want to take it back
Speaker 2: to some fact based stories where we can really say,
Speaker 2: this is what's actually happening. Here are the experts in
Speaker 2: those fields, These are are the realities, you know, because
Speaker 2: for so long we talked about perception and reality in
Speaker 2: an episode where a lot of people's perceptions are based
Speaker 2: off of how they've been skewed by whatever they consume
Speaker 2: or the algorithm feeds them on social media. So I
Speaker 2: want to take it back to a space where we're
Speaker 2: not just getting together and we're shooting the shit and
Speaker 2: talking about you know, random things or current events, but
Speaker 2: things that are actually life changing people who are out
Speaker 2: there changing lives and doing things and moving and shaking
Speaker 2: and may just need that spotlight on them because they're
Speaker 2: doing things that are really progressive.
Speaker 3: Well, let me ask a question, who is this generation's
Speaker 3: Barbara Walters Oprah Winfrey, who's doing lifestyle journalism? Because that's
Speaker 3: what Barbara Walters and Oprah did. You know They didn't
Speaker 3: just go interview celebrities all the time and go to
Speaker 3: their house.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Barbara Walters.
Speaker 3: Interviewed Michael Jackson, Oprah Winfrey interviewed Michael Jordan and Tom
Speaker 3: Cruise like they did celebrities as well, which you're probably
Speaker 3: going to do as well too, because you have so
Speaker 3: many celebrity friends who would want to come down and
Speaker 3: share their stories with you, so you can expect that
Speaker 3: part as well. But who is the person that's also
Speaker 3: sitting down to the doctor who found a cure for
Speaker 3: a cancer or found a treatment that is helping people
Speaker 3: live longer with a cancer or an HIV, or who's
Speaker 3: helping women deal with their mental health. Like, who are
Speaker 3: the interviewers now that we know that we say, you know,
Speaker 3: when I watched this show or when I listen to
Speaker 3: this person speak, they're coming with fat base statistics and
Speaker 3: actual knowledge on what are the things affecting us as
Speaker 3: a community and not just infusing it with their own
Speaker 3: opinion or real journalism or.
Speaker 2: Being skewed by their network, right, because you have some
Speaker 2: people who are great with, you know, delivering stories and
Speaker 2: talking about what's happening, but it's also going to be
Speaker 2: of course packaged in a way that's suitable and approved
Speaker 2: by whatever their media outlet is.
Speaker 3: You know, that's that's a good point that you brought
Speaker 3: that up, because I think the greatest thing about A
Speaker 3: Day with K is that we plan on having sponsors
Speaker 3: we do, but everything is funded by us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so no one can tell you what to say,
Speaker 1: what to say, what guests to have.
Speaker 3: So you're not being skewed, like you said, by not
Speaker 3: only a network, but by the big money people who
Speaker 3: are saying, I'm giving you this money, so you can't
Speaker 3: speak about that.
Speaker 1: It's more genuine to.
Speaker 3: The people who live in those communities because we're not
Speaker 3: going to be skewed by anyone else saying no, that's
Speaker 3: off topic.
Speaker 2: Yep, that's a great point that you made. I mean,
Speaker 2: I think that's that rings true to how the Ellises
Speaker 2: have been conducting themselves in business since we started this thing,
Speaker 2: you know what, eight years ago now. Absolutely so many
Speaker 2: offerers have come in for TV shows in reality space
Speaker 2: and I could have picked up and said, you know
Speaker 2: what I can, Yeah, I can promote this and sell
Speaker 2: that and just be a business woman and do all
Speaker 2: these things. But at what cost, you know.
Speaker 3: And that's no knock on the women who've done those things.
Speaker 3: But Kadeen and I have made it very clear, and
Speaker 3: Kadeen was very clear with this that she was like,
Speaker 3: I don't want to ever take a job just based
Speaker 3: on the money. And people have asked you for a
Speaker 3: long time, So what's next for you, Kadeen?
Speaker 1: What's next for you?
Speaker 3: And even even when we're at the live show, so
Speaker 3: many women saying what's next for you? Kadeen could have
Speaker 3: been taken a job or a role or something, but
Speaker 3: it was never in alignment with what she wanted to do.
Speaker 2: It really was for her audience, for my audience, and
Speaker 2: you guys are really at the root of it. I mean,
Speaker 2: next to my family, and of course you like keeping
Speaker 2: in mind like I have four sons, I have my
Speaker 2: husband here. My family means everything to me, not just
Speaker 2: my immediate my extended family. So wanting to always control
Speaker 2: our narrative and not have somebody else control it for
Speaker 2: us or skew it in some kind of way, it
Speaker 2: just didn't work for me. And for some people that's
Speaker 2: okay and that's cool, but for me that wasn't the case.
Speaker 2: So I think a day with k is a way
Speaker 2: of propelling myself into that space where people can see
Speaker 2: me as a respected journalist again in a sense, lifestyle
Speaker 2: journalists who's just you know, really looking for those really unique,
Speaker 2: fun stories that can really impact you. Guys.
Speaker 3: I'm excited, I really am excited. Because even the idea
Speaker 3: of taking a daytime talk show, because that's what A
Speaker 3: Day with K is, and taking it to each city is,
Speaker 3: I don't think anyone has ever done that before.
Speaker 2: You can count them dead ass. The elis is to
Speaker 2: do something people ain't done before.
Speaker 1: Do something very different, different. Yeah, because I think it was.
Speaker 3: A matter of Josh one of them had pointed out
Speaker 3: to us that A Day with K is a daytime
Speaker 3: talk show because it's filmed in front of a live
Speaker 3: studio audience. It just so happens that the live studio
Speaker 3: audience happens to be the auditorium that we've curated with
Speaker 3: these people. So it's like we're filming a live daytime
Speaker 3: talk show in each individual city.
Speaker 1: It's dope. It's just dope.
Speaker 3: And focusing on their local artists, their local entrepreneurs just
Speaker 3: gives an opportunity for those some of those cities who
Speaker 3: never get to shine, to actually be upfront, you know,
Speaker 3: just be upfront and be on the forefront of all
Speaker 3: of these different things.
Speaker 1: I'm excited.
Speaker 2: The biggest question is because Deval was like trying to
Speaker 2: convince me of this, but I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 2: if it's going to work. So if you guys were
Speaker 2: at one of our shows this past February, one of
Speaker 2: our Love against the World tour shows, yes, it made
Speaker 2: sense for us to do a play on Devusher and
Speaker 2: Kansi because of course we were coming off of Usher's
Speaker 2: residency the super Bowl, then him announcing his world tour,
Speaker 2: and then you had Beyonce on the Renaissance tour. So
Speaker 2: it made sense for us to do kind of a
Speaker 2: spoof but a dance routine around it. I feel like
Speaker 2: you need to open a routine. I feel like you
Speaker 2: need a little something. It don't kind of be a
Speaker 2: full on dance with dances and costume changes and everything,
Speaker 2: but you need something. So if you vote for me
Speaker 2: to have a dance, I'm gonna listen to y'all because
Speaker 2: I was the first one to be like, I am
Speaker 2: not dancing.
Speaker 1: A hold on, can I put this in? Just put
Speaker 1: this in.
Speaker 3: You are not dancing in the leotar because that leotard
Speaker 3: got swallowed. And one thing we stretched, one thing we
Speaker 3: learned about, like performances and stuff. There's a reason why
Speaker 3: dancers do full choreography in their cost.
Speaker 1: Beforehand.
Speaker 3: Yes, because had we known that your ass was going
Speaker 3: to swallow up that leotar. We probably would have made
Speaker 3: some adjustments, but we didn't. You didn't dance until in
Speaker 3: that full uniform, until you got there the day off. Yes,
Speaker 3: but I'm just putting this out there as your executive
Speaker 3: producer slash husband, that you will not be doing no
Speaker 3: performances in the leotar.
Speaker 1: That's no more.
Speaker 2: We retired that TD Cakes.
Speaker 1: TD Cakes is not going to be performing anymore.
Speaker 2: Gave you that it was great, that it was great.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave it up to y'all. If y'all want
Speaker 2: to see me do a little you know, eight count
Speaker 2: situation whatever like that, I do it. But it's going
Speaker 2: to retire that.
Speaker 3: I'm just sitting here telling you I'm excited because even
Speaker 3: when I think about daytime TV, but also.
Speaker 1: Is it called late night television?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like you you move more towards late
Speaker 3: night television because even some of the jokes you say
Speaker 3: that even some of the things you do as a
Speaker 3: as a woman and a mom and a wife, it's
Speaker 3: not always daytime friendly.
Speaker 1: No, like you're gonna you still gonna be k Yes, that's.
Speaker 2: A good point to me because I know, yeah, because
Speaker 2: when you hear like journalistic approach, and you hear like
Speaker 2: lifestyle journalism. I don't want y'all feel like it's gonna
Speaker 2: be something stuffy, right and we're gonna sit and watch
Speaker 2: these long packages like that's not what That's not what
Speaker 2: it's gonna be. I'm still gonna be kk I'm still
Speaker 2: gonna be true to who I am, gonna be true
Speaker 2: to dead ass. I'm still gonna be dropping it, and y'all,
Speaker 2: y'all have to come prepared to be able to reciprocate
Speaker 2: that it's gonna be. You want the same energy, you
Speaker 2: want the same energy. I want y'all coming there, turning up,
Speaker 2: and it's gonna be a good It has to be
Speaker 2: a good time. But I want it to be a
Speaker 2: thing where you're gonna have so many emotions that you
Speaker 2: feel that evening. I want a couple of tears, because
Speaker 2: you have a couple of tears, because you can relate
Speaker 2: a couple. I want you to scream, I want you
Speaker 2: to dance. I want all the things.
Speaker 3: It's going to be a mix of Sherry. She's hilarious,
Speaker 3: but because she has that comedic aspect and she's funny
Speaker 3: and she gets out there and does stuff, but also
Speaker 3: a mix between her and Tam because when you look
Speaker 3: at what Tam has done in the journalist space, in
Speaker 3: the journalism space, like she's a legend.
Speaker 1: So it will be like a mix of the two.
Speaker 3: So be ready to come have fun and joke around
Speaker 3: and laugh, but also listen to some stories that makes
Speaker 3: you be like wow, like I didn't know that that
Speaker 3: was that important. But and also it won't be daytime
Speaker 3: because it's not gonna be PG like That's why I'm saying,
Speaker 3: it's more like late nights, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 3: more like late night now. And have there been many
Speaker 3: women who've done late night television? Most of the time
Speaker 3: is men.
Speaker 2: No, Like you have Jimmy Kimmel, you have, we don't watch.
Speaker 2: But there was woman at the time.
Speaker 3: There was a young woman who had a late night
Speaker 3: show for a little bit during the pandemic. I can't
Speaker 3: remember her name. She was an influencer at first, and
Speaker 3: they put her on late night. I remember it was
Speaker 3: Lily Sing. Lily Sing had a late night show. But
Speaker 3: even on her late night show, she did skits.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: She had a part where she had did like a
Speaker 3: little dance routine that was part of a skit. And
Speaker 3: when I think about what Lily Sing was doing in
Speaker 3: the late night space, I'm kind of like that reminds
Speaker 3: me of k I just feel like you're more journal
Speaker 3: You do way more journalism than Lily Sing because she
Speaker 3: was a comedian. She was a host, so she was
Speaker 3: being a host and a comedian. And although you can
Speaker 3: be funny, you're rooted in the truth and you're rooted
Speaker 3: in what the message is going.
Speaker 2: To be about the story is but.
Speaker 1: Doing it in a funny way.
Speaker 3: So if we had to go again, we would have
Speaker 3: to say it would be Barbara Walters slash Oprah, slash
Speaker 3: Tam slash Chrry Seppard slash Lily Sing.
Speaker 1: It's all of that wrapped up.
Speaker 3: Slash beyond little little sprinklings slash Beyonce. And you you
Speaker 3: are a little ratchets. So you got little Cardi, a
Speaker 3: little Cardi or is it more Nicki Minaje Cardi b
Speaker 3: Or is it little Kim Little? Because matter of fact,
Speaker 3: that was little, that was its more little Kim.
Speaker 2: It was my era.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's more little. It's a mix of all of
Speaker 1: those things.
Speaker 3: And because you Caribbean, you could throw a little Rihanna
Speaker 3: in there because you're gonna be a billionaire and I
Speaker 3: need that break.
Speaker 1: I'll be a little a sap on the side. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be chilling on.
Speaker 2: The side, like that's my baby, You're gonna come.
Speaker 3: If I'm not filming, I will definitely be in the building.
Speaker 3: I'm definitely gonna be back there with my headsets and
Speaker 3: our lights.
Speaker 1: Can we get the lights down? K need lights.
Speaker 2: I'm excited. I'm excited to curate the team. I mean,
Speaker 2: I also even just think, shout out to my team. Man.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about how much fun we had on tour
Speaker 2: for Love against the World with our crew. You know,
Speaker 2: we had a couple of changes to the crew, but
Speaker 2: it's like all great changes. I'm excited to see how
Speaker 2: we're going to curate this experience for y'all. You know,
Speaker 2: just just just tell me more, tell me more, because
Speaker 2: I've seen a lot of you. And Triple has also
Speaker 2: mentioned it too, that people write in like, you know,
Speaker 2: what's K doing with this? And can we see K
Speaker 2: do that? Now? Is your opportunity, y'all. I'm asking you,
Speaker 2: I'm asking you what you want to see more of
Speaker 2: because I'm dedicating this portion of my life for the
Speaker 2: foreseeable sable future into really seeing what this is going
Speaker 2: to look like for me as I propel myself into
Speaker 2: those spaces that I've always wanted to be in. And
Speaker 2: it really just also takes me back to thinking about
Speaker 2: being a high school student, high school graduate and really
Speaker 2: being on the fence about what I wanted to do
Speaker 2: with my life and how I was going to tell
Speaker 2: my family that I did not want to carry the
Speaker 2: medical field of torch and having the courage to say
Speaker 2: I'm not doing it inventional way, you know, doing one
Speaker 2: year local at Acunity College and then getting into a
Speaker 2: program where I'm doing communication, and for me, this is
Speaker 2: like very personal too. It's very personal because it's me
Speaker 2: proving to myself as well that I can do this.
Speaker 2: I even admitted to the crew last night that I
Speaker 2: am actually terrified to do this in a.
Speaker 1: Sense, I'm happy terrified.
Speaker 3: Do you want to know why you've been terrified to do
Speaker 3: a lot of things over this past year and delivered.
Speaker 3: I'm going to start because turning forty, you said, when
Speaker 3: we got the opportunity to walk in Fashion Week for
Speaker 3: the first.
Speaker 2: Time, oh my god, terrified.
Speaker 3: This and this is the truth, guys, and this is
Speaker 3: why I'm so excited. There were times in our relationship
Speaker 3: where I felt bad because you over ten year spin
Speaker 3: you got pregnant four times, and I felt like, damn,
Speaker 3: I got pregnant five times. He got pregnant five times,
Speaker 3: and I felt like I got a chance to chase
Speaker 3: all of my dreams without any hesitation or any pause.
Speaker 3: And there were times where I would just look at
Speaker 3: you and just be like, she's dedicating this part of
Speaker 3: her life to our family. I can't wait until all
Speaker 3: of this is done and she can get ready to
Speaker 3: dedicate her life to herself. And watching you over the
Speaker 3: past year, right starting with last summer, I know you
Speaker 3: guys have noticed how because these bodies changed, you changed
Speaker 3: your diet, You started going to the doctor more often,
Speaker 3: You're eating completely different. You're working out every single day,
Speaker 3: even days like today when we do two podcasts, She's
Speaker 3: leaving here and going to work out, and it's like
Speaker 3: it's it's and when I mean workout, I mean just
Speaker 3: going to a gym and just doing squats. She's going
Speaker 3: to a sports performance gym where she is training like
Speaker 3: I trained when I was getting ready.
Speaker 2: For full all that's a push for myself, like.
Speaker 3: Doing high performance dynamic training, and I'm watching your body change,
Speaker 3: and I'm watching you age backwards. And you are going
Speaker 3: to be the representative of a woman who says, my
Speaker 3: dreams were deferred but never denied. I got everything I
Speaker 3: want out of life. Maybe I didn't get it at
Speaker 3: the same time, but I got it last year going
Speaker 3: into September, you were terrified to walk across that stage
Speaker 3: in fashion, and I watched you bust your ass to
Speaker 3: get in shape.
Speaker 2: Bro Let me just paint the picture real quick for y'all.
Speaker 2: When we got to the Actively Black Fashion Show. You know,
Speaker 2: as a woman, naturally you get there and you're looking
Speaker 2: at the other women around you. Okay, some of whom
Speaker 2: I'm like, do you have any kids? Do you have
Speaker 2: any kids? Because it's just so natural thing that happens
Speaker 2: when you have children that you are hyper sensitive about
Speaker 2: how your body has changed and it's not the same.
Speaker 2: And I got there into that room and I was like, man,
Speaker 2: I know I worked, but did I work enough?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I got these stretch bards. There's twenty something year
Speaker 2: olds in here. You know, bodies are on point. Never
Speaker 2: had a kid in they day, And I really at
Speaker 2: that moment was terrified and then had the incident where
Speaker 2: my legs were bruised. Yeah, you know the morning of
Speaker 2: and you.
Speaker 3: Know what happened when your back was against the wall
Speaker 3: and all odds were against you, you know what you did.
Speaker 2: Push it through?
Speaker 1: You showed up I did.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm excited about you being nervous, because when
Speaker 3: you get nervous, you over prepare, which means if you're
Speaker 3: over preparing for this because you're nervous, they're going to
Speaker 3: get a show that they never never expected from you.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm excited, and I want to see people
Speaker 3: just be excited for you. Not excited for you as
Speaker 3: oh that's Devoo's wife. No, just excited for that's Kadem,
Speaker 3: that's KK. You know what I'm saying like that, I'm
Speaker 3: just excited about that.
Speaker 2: I just I love that. Thank you, babe, Thank you,
Speaker 2: Thank you for always seeing me.
Speaker 1: And knowing you You saw me, you supported me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it really I'll be transparent with you guys
Speaker 2: in this moment and say, like a lot of the
Speaker 2: past decade, having children and coming back and stuff, it
Speaker 2: allowed for a little bit of I think self sabotage
Speaker 2: and self doubt to creep in because it made me
Speaker 2: feel like, all right, well, I'm pretty comfortable, like if
Speaker 2: I don't do another thing from a career perspective, pestionally,
Speaker 2: You've also made it clear that I would be okay,
Speaker 2: the family would be.
Speaker 1: You don't have to do it right, I don't have
Speaker 1: to have any of this.
Speaker 2: So I could easily be like, you know what, let
Speaker 2: me let this doubt and fair and you know, these
Speaker 2: these these insecurities that I may have, I can just
Speaker 2: sit in them, and I can just not do a
Speaker 2: live show, and we can just not do live shows anymore,
Speaker 2: and Devalu can go on to be an actor and
Speaker 2: I can be a wife and mom and continue to
Speaker 2: do my little brand partnerships and be a business woman.
Speaker 2: And I would have to be in this space. But
Speaker 2: what I'm doing is I'm forcing myself to step into
Speaker 2: a bit of a discomfort zone. If you will, I
Speaker 2: look at my boys. I can't preach to them about
Speaker 2: conquering their fears and doing things outside of their you know,
Speaker 2: comfort zone if I'm not doing it, and I want
Speaker 2: to be deliberate and have the conversations with my boys
Speaker 2: and let them know your mom is about to do
Speaker 2: a show by herself, Like, do you know how nervous
Speaker 2: I am, but how excited I am for it too?
Speaker 2: And I want them to see the process through for
Speaker 2: me in the next couple months as I prepare for this.
Speaker 2: That's important to me. You are about thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: I hope you know that, but I want that going
Speaker 1: to be un fucking real.
Speaker 2: And I just wanted to be a motivation to anybody listening,
Speaker 2: man or woman or in between, like I want you
Speaker 2: to know that if you really feel inside that you
Speaker 2: can do it, don't let fear stop you, don't let
Speaker 2: doubt stop you. You know, I know that anybody in
Speaker 2: attendance in that building is going to be someone who
Speaker 2: came there specifically for me, who pay their money for
Speaker 2: their ticket to see me. And I never take that
Speaker 2: for granted that you guys support us in so many ways,
Speaker 2: whether it's time, whether it's sharing, whether it's financially, whether
Speaker 2: it's you know, buying a book or buying a ticket,
Speaker 2: Like I really don't take any of that for granted.
Speaker 2: So I'm excited. I mean, I'm nervous, but in an
Speaker 2: excited kind of way.
Speaker 1: So you know, as a fan, like I'm over here smiling.
Speaker 1: I don't over here. I can hear it, but I
Speaker 1: can't wait to like, like sit.
Speaker 2: Back fan over here, y'all.
Speaker 1: No, I can't wait to sit back and just watch.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, because I've become a fan of yours
Speaker 3: as well. Whenever you do something without me, it's like
Speaker 3: I said, what happened, let me see you know, like
Speaker 3: when you wanted to go speak at Men's Choice, Like
Speaker 3: I want to see the video.
Speaker 1: I want to you know what I'm saying. We sat
Speaker 1: here and worked on your speech, and you.
Speaker 3: Have your own way of doing things, and I've learned
Speaker 3: to just be like, dang, like she really put that together.
Speaker 3: Like I'm controlling. I'm a control freak and I just
Speaker 3: I want everybody around me to do well. So I'm like,
Speaker 3: why don't you try this? Wyann't you do this? And
Speaker 3: you took a little piece in you like okay, okay,
Speaker 3: not using that, Yeah, you're using this. And then to hear, no,
Speaker 3: to see these twenty two year old men who don't
Speaker 3: have kids, didn't have girlfriends run up on us when
Speaker 3: we went to this next event and give you a
Speaker 3: big hug and talk about something. Your speech was so
Speaker 3: dynamic and I'm just like, at twenty two, I wasn't
Speaker 3: listening to no women's speech thinking that it was dynamic.
Speaker 3: But these men, these young men ran up on you.
Speaker 3: Was like, oh my gosh, mister Ellis.
Speaker 2: But you're right. Yeah, I spoken a More for Choice event,
Speaker 2: just shared my birthing story and how Devo was of
Speaker 2: support to me when I was pregnant and through my
Speaker 2: deliveries and all of that, and yeah, you're right. A
Speaker 2: couple of the young men after were just like, oh,
Speaker 2: miss Ellis, like you were so so dynamic.
Speaker 1: It said you were dynamic. They came up to me,
Speaker 1: was like, your wife is funny, and I'm just like, dang.
Speaker 3: I wish I would have been there to see it,
Speaker 3: because because one thing young men don't do now you're
Speaker 3: you're beautiful, you know, I get that. They didn't come
Speaker 3: up to me and be like, oh my god, your
Speaker 3: wife fine, because these.
Speaker 1: Are young you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: They came up to me and it was just like, man,
Speaker 3: your wife told her birthday story. Man, it was so
Speaker 3: dynamic and she's funny. Not once did they mention what
Speaker 3: you look like, which I understand at twenty two year old,
Speaker 3: that's the first thing you look at and a woman.
Speaker 3: But think about how many how many men right there,
Speaker 3: you've probably changed their perspective on what women.
Speaker 1: Are and can be in any space.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you got up there and you you were
Speaker 3: very deliberated about how you were going to dress as well,
Speaker 3: which is me, which is why I love why you
Speaker 3: do everything you do because you're aware of everything. You're
Speaker 3: aware of who your husband is, You're aware of who
Speaker 3: you are, You're aware of who's going to be in
Speaker 3: the crowd. You even said to me, I'm not going
Speaker 3: to go with a skirt because if I'm standing on
Speaker 3: the if I'm standing on the stage and there's a podium,
Speaker 3: they're going to be looking up.
Speaker 1: These are things that as a man, I've never even
Speaker 1: ever thought.
Speaker 3: About, but these are things that you are like I'm
Speaker 3: going to and I guess that goes back to your
Speaker 3: pageant days because you've done this before. But I cannot
Speaker 3: wait until people get a chance to see you, like
Speaker 3: in all of you and just know there's going to
Speaker 3: be so many more opportunities after this, Like.
Speaker 1: It's going to be it's already been delivered.
Speaker 2: God, He's literally like now it's the time, and like
Speaker 2: you said something. Being deferred and not denied is so major,
Speaker 2: I think for so many components of our life, because
Speaker 2: there have been moments where were just like, damn, why
Speaker 2: didn't that work out?
Speaker 4: Why?
Speaker 2: And you don't question it after a while, like when
Speaker 2: you get to this maybe it's an age thing, or
Speaker 2: you just get to enough life experience you just realize that, like, man,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to question anymore why something didn't happen
Speaker 2: moment because I was not ready to receive that blessing.
Speaker 2: But I feel like God is walking me into a
Speaker 2: space where I am ready or he's saying ready or not, sis,
Speaker 2: He's kind of like it ain't really to ready or not.
Speaker 2: And I also think about the span of which you
Speaker 2: guys have gotten to know me. It's been about what
Speaker 2: eight years. Cairo was about to be eight, so it's
Speaker 2: been about eight years. And for the most part, most
Speaker 2: people have seen Kadeine the wife, the mom, and been pregnant, yeah, wife,
Speaker 2: the mom, you know, and coming back in between pregnancies
Speaker 2: and stuff. But it's a whole side of me that
Speaker 2: people don't even know, that people have not experienced, and
Speaker 2: that is a portion that I'm excited to let you
Speaker 2: guys into a little bit because I feel like that
Speaker 2: portion of my life was curated for social media and
Speaker 2: for a purpose because it worked at that time. But
Speaker 2: it was really at the root of it, Deval trying
Speaker 2: to expand his career as an actor, and then me
Speaker 2: trying to expand my career as a host, journalist, all
Speaker 2: of that good stuff. So this is going to be
Speaker 2: the perfect place in space to do that.
Speaker 3: And be very deliberate. You're not just the host. You
Speaker 3: are a journalist. You went to school for this. You
Speaker 3: had to take exams and pass tests and go through
Speaker 3: rigors to get your master's degree, graduated cum laude, right
Speaker 3: to do what you do. And I think that's important
Speaker 3: to when people even think about dead ass podcasts and
Speaker 3: like people say, it's just something different about that as podcasts.
Speaker 3: Feel like I learned so much in part because we
Speaker 3: have a producer in Trouble who always make sure that
Speaker 3: when we speak on something, we speak on something in
Speaker 3: a factual manner. It's not always based on opinions. We
Speaker 3: give our opinions about what we think. But that portion
Speaker 3: about facts and stacks was deliberate because this is also
Speaker 3: a part of journalism. It's not just about what we
Speaker 3: think about everything, and I think that's what's missing in
Speaker 3: today's society. You know, everyone has a platform, yes, but
Speaker 3: have you done any research to see if your words
Speaker 3: or what you're sharing or spewing to the general public
Speaker 3: is going to be helpful or hurtful?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Or what you're consuming there's already fact. But you know
Speaker 2: how many times I've heard people come to me and say,
Speaker 2: you saw that this, this is that happen, and I
Speaker 2: was like, did it really happen? And then you come
Speaker 2: to find a literally didn't happen. It was just something
Speaker 2: that was completely false, just saying it, just to say it.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that being said, I'm excited to spend some
Speaker 2: time with y'all. Be on the lookout for lots of
Speaker 2: announcements coming up in the near future about what A
Speaker 2: Day with K is going to look like. Dead Ass
Speaker 2: Podcast presents a Day with K, and I'm looking forward
Speaker 2: to curating a really, really awesome evening with you guys
Speaker 2: in your respective cities. So get excited. We're going to
Speaker 2: roll out the cities soon and you know, get those
Speaker 2: tickets on and popping.
Speaker 1: I got my moment of truth. So after we do
Speaker 1: this moment.
Speaker 2: All right, cool, wonderful, wonderful. All right, let's take a
Speaker 2: quick break. We're going to pay some bills and we're
Speaker 2: going to get back into some list of letters, because
Speaker 2: of course we have never had an episode with that one,
Speaker 2: so stick around. All right, we're back. Let's dive into
Speaker 2: some listener letters. Do you want to go first, babe,
Speaker 2: I'll go first, baby, Okay? Cool?
Speaker 1: What's up? Kadeen and Duvou?
Speaker 3: First off, absolutely love you guys. I'm low key scared
Speaker 3: to meet child because I may ugly. You are like
Speaker 3: my big brother and sister in my head, and I
Speaker 3: appreciate the guidance you provide me. I've been in therapy
Speaker 3: for four years now and have the same therapists. Absolutely
Speaker 3: love her and she has played a huge part in
Speaker 3: my mental health journey. Ninety nine percent of the time.
Speaker 3: I'm receptive and take accountability to do the work, But
Speaker 3: there is this one specific thing I can't seem to
Speaker 3: adjust my therapist has wanted me to work on. I'm
Speaker 3: a single, childless, thirty six year old who does is
Speaker 3: this Yeah, does desire marriage and family. I'm also okay
Speaker 3: if it doesn't happen, and my therapist thinks I should
Speaker 3: consider a man who could be walking on in his
Speaker 3: purpose and enjoys what he does. Example, she uses a
Speaker 3: teacher but doesn't make a lot of money, but is
Speaker 3: able to take care of himself. For me, would he
Speaker 3: be able to take on more than himself with that
Speaker 3: same income in a growing economy? For me, it's not
Speaker 3: about an actual dollar amount, but about mindset. I value
Speaker 3: stability in partnership, so I'm not looking to put sole
Speaker 3: responsibility on the man, but I do hope to have
Speaker 3: a partner with a growth mindset. I was raised very
Speaker 3: similar to you both as far as two working parents households,
Speaker 3: but only two kids. Could definitely use that third sibling
Speaker 3: in the world, so my values are also rooted in that.
Speaker 3: And two, I've had to watch and financially help my
Speaker 3: older by ten years struggling married with kids and dang
Speaker 3: ten plus years now, wait help my older by ten
Speaker 3: years struggling old must be SI sibling married with kids
Speaker 3: for ten plus years now, and believe a lot of
Speaker 3: my desires are coming from there as well, me not
Speaker 3: wanting to experience that. I understand that my sister's husband, Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's what we're talking about. Literally watches her struggle, be depressed,
Speaker 3: scrape by and lean on me and my parents and
Speaker 3: doesn't blink an eye. That's why she feels the way
Speaker 3: she is fucking corny. At the end of the day,
Speaker 3: accountability is on my sister for being and staying in
Speaker 3: this situation. Very true, But I do what I can
Speaker 3: now with boundaries solely for my nieces. I understand that
Speaker 3: marriage will have seasons where it's not always going to
Speaker 3: look the same as far as fifty to fifty, eighty twenty,
Speaker 3: et cetera. I'm not looking for them to have a
Speaker 3: certain number, but I can't see myself with a partner
Speaker 3: who would be okay with struggling and or just barely
Speaker 3: making it long term. I do all for myself now
Speaker 3: and will continue to work towards growth. I'm naturally driven
Speaker 3: and ambitious, so big brow and big systs. Should I
Speaker 3: compromise on my values or should I tell my therapist
Speaker 3: to shut that shit up?
Speaker 2: Shut that shit up, therapist? How dare you tell somebody
Speaker 2: that they should lower their sandals, their standards and just settle.
Speaker 2: That's just literally a recipe for disaster. Lowering your standards
Speaker 2: settling for somebody who is not in a growth mindset,
Speaker 2: and you have to end up struggling the fact that
Speaker 2: you said that you're thirty six desire marriage and children,
Speaker 2: but you are okay if it doesn't happen. I think
Speaker 2: is a good mindset to have. Yeah, yeah, because that's crazy.
Speaker 3: I agree to me. The mindset is more important than
Speaker 3: the dollar amount. A growth mindset means that no matter
Speaker 3: what amount of money you make, you're always in a
Speaker 3: position where you're trying to get more, which means you
Speaker 3: could be a multi millionaire, but you're like, hey, I
Speaker 3: want to continue to grow. And a growth mindset also
Speaker 3: allows you to be with a person, a person who
Speaker 3: welcomes change. You know, it's hard to be stuck with
Speaker 3: someone who only wants to be where they are in
Speaker 3: that moment, because if you like to grow, which it
Speaker 3: seems like she likes to grow, how can you sit
Speaker 3: there and settle with someone who doesn't. At this point,
Speaker 3: it's not even about the dollar amount. It's about the
Speaker 3: ability to.
Speaker 2: Change, to change much as.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't settle at all.
Speaker 2: Absolutely not, And that is literally going to lead to resentment. Yes,
Speaker 2: I can tell you right now, if you speak to
Speaker 2: your sister, she probably resents her husband, yes, or watching
Speaker 2: her struggle and scrape and scrap around, And yeah, I've
Speaker 2: experienced this with family members. I've witnessed similar situations happen.
Speaker 2: And I think you're doing the right thing where you
Speaker 2: say you can now solely help to provide for your
Speaker 2: nieces because they're here innocently based off of their parents,
Speaker 2: and they shouldn't have to struggle as well either. So
Speaker 2: I have been in spaces where I was deliberate, deliberate
Speaker 2: about supporting or providing for somebody specifically within the household,
Speaker 2: because that's the person I care to provide for, and
Speaker 2: then everybody else around that was there picking ass, not
Speaker 2: doing shit all day. Well, y'all had to figure that
Speaker 2: shit out. I'm going to help what I need to
Speaker 2: help or want to help in this moment, because if not,
Speaker 2: all you're doing is further coddling the situation and giving
Speaker 2: them a level of comfort that they're not ever going
Speaker 2: to get out of. They're going to be relying on
Speaker 2: you till that kingdom comes. So yeah, tell your therapists
Speaker 2: that we ain't about that life. We're not about to settle.
Speaker 2: I agree you should not have to compromise on your
Speaker 2: values and who's meant for you. As you continue to
Speaker 2: walk in your purpose of who you are, they'll meet you.
Speaker 2: They'll meet you.
Speaker 1: Can I say this too?
Speaker 3: We do live in a time now with social media
Speaker 3: that a lot everyone has the ability to have a platform,
Speaker 3: which is fine.
Speaker 1: Right, Just stay with me for a minute. How many
Speaker 1: people there on the earth.
Speaker 3: Let's just say it's six billion, right, six billion are
Speaker 3: not going to be overachievers. What's happening now is that
Speaker 3: I noticed that a lot of people who are overachievers,
Speaker 3: who aspire more, they're now being shamed.
Speaker 1: You know, you work too much. Your mental health is
Speaker 1: going to suffer. You think you're better than people.
Speaker 3: You should be comfortable being average, or be comfortable not trying.
Speaker 2: Or you're part of Illuminati. Did you hear that Kevi
Speaker 2: on stage just recently posted you said he first, he
Speaker 2: got his first like Illuminati comments or something like that.
Speaker 2: I agree with him, though, and I'm just like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I agree with it.
Speaker 3: But that's the mindset of these people that I'm talking about. No,
Speaker 3: for sure the minute now, you you had to worship
Speaker 3: the devil to get that. No, I just worked harder. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I thought more.
Speaker 2: It's a way for people to validate their mediocrity. Yes,
Speaker 2: and validate the stuff that you're not doing, because people
Speaker 2: are consistent, and they're working hard, and they're as every
Speaker 2: day every day, and it eventually starts to come to
Speaker 2: fruition whatever it is you see the fruits of your labor.
Speaker 3: So, Mama, this is what I will tell you. If
Speaker 3: you're listening to majority of the world who is going
Speaker 3: to tell you that it's okay to just settle, don't
Speaker 3: listen to them because it doesn't seem like anything you've
Speaker 3: ever done in your life has been about settling. So
Speaker 3: if you haven't settled in any aspect of your life,
Speaker 3: do not settle when it comes to picking a partner
Speaker 3: that you want to live the rest of your life with.
Speaker 3: I don't care how many people tell you your standards are
Speaker 3: too high.
Speaker 1: I don't care.
Speaker 3: Those people will never have to walk a mile in
Speaker 3: your shoes because they're your shoes.
Speaker 2: Period.
Speaker 3: Go get what you want. And here's another thing. Say
Speaker 3: you don't get married and you don't have kids. You've
Speaker 3: worked your ass off, you can afford to adopt.
Speaker 2: It's given rich Auntie to You can afford.
Speaker 3: To just have you a couple guys that you play
Speaker 3: with if you need to get your rocks knocked off
Speaker 3: a little bit.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like what I'm saying is right.
Speaker 3: What I'm saying is if you want to be swapped,
Speaker 3: don't don't settle because other people are telling you you
Speaker 3: should be comfortable settling.
Speaker 1: Therapist, I don't care. You know in your heart what
Speaker 1: you want.
Speaker 3: Don't let people shame you for warning more from yourself
Speaker 3: or more out of your person. At the same time,
Speaker 3: don't shame people who don't want more. We're not shaming them.
Speaker 3: You know what you want the same way I know
Speaker 3: what I want. And when you know what you want,
Speaker 3: go out and get it because you deserve it.
Speaker 2: Period poo. All right on to the next one. My
Speaker 2: husband and I are hardworking to pay off a three
Speaker 2: hundred thousand dollars debt, mostly business debt, half of which
Speaker 2: has amassed from specifically a bad business deal with an
Speaker 2: immediate family member on my side who left us with
Speaker 2: all the bills and no help after one year in business. Yikes.
Speaker 2: We both now work corporate jobs making four hundred k
Speaker 2: a year. As a household my husband was self employed
Speaker 2: for a year trying to manage the businesses. He also
Speaker 2: has a property that he also has a property that
Speaker 2: he doesn't do a good job managing, so we pay
Speaker 2: its mortgage while no one is living there. It's not familiar. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know somebody else has been through this. It needs
Speaker 2: repairs before we can sell it. His family has lived
Speaker 2: there in the past when needing to get on their feet,
Speaker 2: but never paid us. My husband lacks the focus to
Speaker 2: rent it out, being that he now works full time.
Speaker 2: All of this is very stressful individually. I wish he
Speaker 2: could take charge of it all. But take charge of
Speaker 2: all of this, but I'm the more detail oriented partner
Speaker 2: and the realist slash warrior, while he is more of
Speaker 2: the constant optimist. How do we say hopeful and keep
Speaker 2: this from splitting us apart? Signed Sleepless and newlywed hood
Speaker 2: and married man.
Speaker 3: Well, the first thing, the first thing stop doing is
Speaker 3: stop saying your family my family, because that creates resentment.
Speaker 3: You know, your family got us into this deal, but
Speaker 3: your family lived in this house. When you start the
Speaker 3: blame game, that's when it becomes more personal. And you
Speaker 3: guys have married your one union, so it's both your family.
Speaker 3: So deal with the fact that both of your families
Speaker 3: are fucked up freeloaders. So what and here's your truth? No, seriously,
Speaker 3: you guys make four hundred K year.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Did she say they have kids?
Speaker 2: I didn't see. They're new the weed, so maybe they
Speaker 2: don't do.
Speaker 1: Don't have kids?
Speaker 3: You make four hundred k year after taxes, you you
Speaker 3: know they're probably going to tax you. I don't know
Speaker 3: how they pay their taxes, but at least forty percent,
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So that's what one hundred and sixty k out of it.
Speaker 3: So you make two hundred and forty which is twenty
Speaker 3: thousand dollars a month you make.
Speaker 1: The first thing you should do.
Speaker 3: Since you have business debt is try to invest as
Speaker 3: much as you can front paying off that business debt
Speaker 3: because that's a tax right off, which means if you
Speaker 3: pay that business debt up front and.
Speaker 1: Tax right off, you'll get it back in your taxes.
Speaker 2: That's a good point.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And then and once you put the business debt
Speaker 1: up front.
Speaker 3: And then pay all of your bills afterwards, you'll have
Speaker 3: more money to get that done with. For example, if
Speaker 3: you make five dollars, right, you make five dollars and
Speaker 3: you pay all your bills first, and then you save
Speaker 3: and do everything like that. They're going to tax you
Speaker 3: higher because you had no ride offs. You have five
Speaker 3: dollars and you have this two dollars tax debt, and
Speaker 3: you pay that first. Now they're only going to tax
Speaker 3: you on three dollars. So then you pay your taxes
Speaker 3: and then pay your bills. So the taxes on the
Speaker 3: three dollars, of course, would be less than the taxes
Speaker 3: on the five dollars. So what you have to do
Speaker 3: is put that business debt up front, let the government
Speaker 3: know that you're paying off business debt. Use the current
Speaker 3: money that you have to pay off the business debt,
Speaker 3: and then now you'll get tax at the lower rates,
Speaker 3: so you have more money to use for your personal expenses.
Speaker 3: That's the biggest thing I can give you. That's just
Speaker 3: a business thing. Because they seem like they're a young company, you're.
Speaker 2: Young couple trying to figure things out. Yeah, she also said, no, no,
Speaker 2: finish your thought.
Speaker 3: What I was going to say is on top of that,
Speaker 3: that's just from the financial aspect, on top of the
Speaker 3: communication aspect. They should have every day at the end
Speaker 3: of the night, where are we financially what are we
Speaker 3: trying to do as a family moving forward, but also
Speaker 3: what are we trying to do for ourselves? Because if
Speaker 3: everything is always a focus on the business debt and
Speaker 3: your family did this, and my family did this, especially
Speaker 3: as newlyweds, your focus is only on the.
Speaker 2: Negative, right, and on the finance portion of it, because
Speaker 2: that seems to be where a lot of couples, you know,
Speaker 2: fall apart.
Speaker 3: They said eighty percent of couples that get divorced get
Speaker 3: divorced not because of infidelity, because of financial issues and woes.
Speaker 3: You can avoid some of that, like I said before,
Speaker 3: by putting a plan in place to pay that debt down,
Speaker 3: but also using part of that money to still love
Speaker 3: on each other.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know, if you make twenty thousand dollars a month,
Speaker 3: and that's after taxes, you make twenty thousand dollars after
Speaker 3: a month, Let's say your mortgage is five thousand a month,
Speaker 3: that's fifteen You got two card notes, that's another three
Speaker 3: thousand dollars, and you got twelve thousand dollars that you
Speaker 3: can still use. Okay, you got to pay a little
Speaker 3: bit of bills here. Okay, say you put three thousand
Speaker 3: dollars towards bills and food and stuff. You still have
Speaker 3: nine thousand dollars a month that you can use, right,
Speaker 3: you spend five thousand to pay off that debt. Four
Speaker 3: thousand dollars a month is for you, guys, to save.
Speaker 1: And do things that you can haven't build with.
Speaker 3: I gave them all the biggest numbers out right, But
Speaker 3: with that four thousand thousand a month, forty eight thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: For a year, you can travel and enjoy your.
Speaker 2: Life, do something and kid on those state nights. Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you do need to pour into your marriages born to you,
Speaker 2: and I also want to say, as newlyweds, there's also
Speaker 2: like a sacrificial period that I feel like most couples
Speaker 2: have when they're starting their life together. Deval and I
Speaker 2: had it. We always say the first five years of
Speaker 2: our marriage was just really difficult. We two had financial
Speaker 2: struggles and things that we were trying to work through
Speaker 2: as well, but at the root of it, we knew
Speaker 2: that we wanted to stay together. We had a new
Speaker 2: baby at the time, Like that was the core of it.
Speaker 2: Was trying to work around it. Your husband saying he
Speaker 2: lacks focus because he has a full time job, people
Speaker 2: have two full time jobs, people have a full time
Speaker 2: at a part time job. Let the focus be full
Speaker 2: time job. But then when you clock out, this is
Speaker 2: a priority if you guys want to get out of
Speaker 2: that dead. So maybe having the conversation with him saying Babe,
Speaker 2: I know that full time work can be a lot
Speaker 2: and it can be stressful, but in the time that
Speaker 2: we have or the time that we create, there needs
Speaker 2: to be a plan to get this space rented out
Speaker 2: so we're not paying to mortgages or in a mortgage,
Speaker 2: or there needs to be a way to offset some
Speaker 2: of that cost and take on that responsibility as well.
Speaker 2: And this is another thing in closing, it'd be hard
Speaker 2: to go into business with family.
Speaker 1: Facts.
Speaker 2: It's so hard to go into business with family. And
Speaker 2: it's hard to be in business with people who you
Speaker 2: look view as family too sometimes because when things fall apart, chiall,
Speaker 2: they can fall apart and they may be irreupparable. So
Speaker 2: shout out to you guys for writing and thank you
Speaker 2: so much and good luck as y'all continue to work
Speaker 2: off this debt while staying together and.
Speaker 1: Stop letting your family stay in that house and not
Speaker 1: pay rent. That's unfair. To you guys.
Speaker 3: Man, you guys are working hard, make good money. Yeah,
Speaker 3: don't don't let that like that's too stressful. It's too stressful. Man.
Speaker 3: When you have business, make sure that you get LLCs
Speaker 3: and do everything above board. Protect yourself, especially with dealing
Speaker 3: with family. Have contracts so that there's no arguments. But
Speaker 3: you said, fuck what we said contract pay all that paper?
Speaker 1: When does your family do that?
Speaker 2: So we got a baby crying, we gotta go. No,
Speaker 2: just kidding, all right, y'all. If you want to be
Speaker 2: featured as a listener letter, email us at dead ass
Speaker 2: Advice at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3: That's d E A D A S S A d
Speaker 3: V I c E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: And also use that email as well. Put in the
Speaker 2: subject so Tripple will know a day with K like
Speaker 2: suggestion or a day with K I did. If there's
Speaker 2: something that you guys want to share, If you know
Speaker 2: a local business, you know somebody who could be great
Speaker 2: for the show, pop that in there as well.
Speaker 3: Once again, So just to be clear, we are coming
Speaker 3: to Chicago, we're coming to la we are going to Florida,
Speaker 3: and we are going to Houston.
Speaker 1: So we'll see you in September.
Speaker 2: Baby cannot wait. All right, y'all, moment of truth time.
Speaker 2: We're talking a day with K and what that's going
Speaker 2: to look like. Okay, so you said you had a
Speaker 2: moment in the beginning of the show. Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 1: This is the most selfish moment of truth ever.
Speaker 2: What is it? You want to see me? The lea
Speaker 2: tard again? I know, No, don't worry all the Lea's ours.
Speaker 2: Let's be clear that SI he had me aware for
Speaker 2: the show. I have in my fun box, which I
Speaker 2: like to call it, have a drawer.
Speaker 1: You do have a fun box?
Speaker 3: You felt like, how could you say that that was going.
Speaker 2: To be too quick? And forget who I'm talking alongside?
Speaker 2: I have a fun drawer, so fun drawers to come on?
Speaker 3: Try another one, fun box ant fun draws and.
Speaker 1: Try it again. What do you got?
Speaker 2: I have a fun area in my class be fun
Speaker 2: that I have been recycling those outfits with.
Speaker 3: But yeah, seriously, I cannot wait to brag about my wife.
Speaker 2: Even more than you do already.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no, no no no. You think I
Speaker 1: was bragging?
Speaker 3: Now wait until you are on tour selling out theaters
Speaker 3: and I cannot wait. Like I look at the way
Speaker 3: jay Z looks at Beyonce. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I look at the way a Sap looks at Rihanna.
Speaker 1: I just look. I look at some of these men
Speaker 1: who have careers in their own right.
Speaker 2: Joey bad sincerit. They're like my newest like young couple.
Speaker 1: I love remember watching.
Speaker 2: The Essence Black Women in Hollywood. Beautiful couple, and they
Speaker 2: just are so into each other, and I love it.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 3: It's great to be a man and have your own
Speaker 3: career and your your own greatness and your own right.
Speaker 1: But to be able to say, like, that's my wife.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Like, I can't wait for
Speaker 3: people to be like, oh, Yukas, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: That's that's how I feel. Is your wife. I'm like
Speaker 2: my husband.
Speaker 1: That's why I can't wait.
Speaker 2: I can't wagest fans since you were eighteen, right, it's crazy.
Speaker 2: My moment of truth is pretty simple. I literally could
Speaker 2: not do this without you, guys, like I literally could
Speaker 2: not you devour shout out to the team Josh, Matt
Speaker 2: and Tripple who are here every month doing the Dead
Speaker 2: Ass podcast and then who have also spoken so much
Speaker 2: life into me. And and and make me believe even
Speaker 2: more in my that I'm capable of this. Brian Jordan Junr,
Speaker 2: who recently added the team, be added to the team
Speaker 2: for the Love Against the World tour. Just so many
Speaker 2: you know, my glam team. Everybody just like pours into
Speaker 2: me and praise over me, and I'm so grateful for them.
Speaker 2: I'm grateful for y'all for listening, for watching. Thank you,
Speaker 2: and I look forward to seeing you in this new space,
Speaker 2: in this new era of Kadeen as I introduce you
Speaker 2: to more of me slowly but surely slowly. But no,
Speaker 2: it's not the fun box, for the fun drawer or
Speaker 2: the fun anything. It's all the fun all right, all right,
Speaker 2: But be sure you bring the fun to me when
Speaker 2: we have our shows. And also be sure to follow
Speaker 2: us on Patreon if you have not been doing so yet,
Speaker 2: subscribe so that you can see all exclusive content between
Speaker 2: dead Ass podcasts, video, Elli's family content, a Day with
Speaker 2: K and then of course that's going to be uh well,
Speaker 2: a Day with K content as well, and just more
Speaker 2: family content there. You can follow us on social media
Speaker 2: also dead Ass the podcast, and you can find me
Speaker 2: at Kadeen I.
Speaker 3: Am and I am devout and if you listen on
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe.
Speaker 4: Dead Ass Baby Got dead Ass is a production of
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