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Speaker 2: let's start with Chase of the Afterlife with Sandra Champlain.
Speaker 3: Welcome to our podcast. Please be aware the thoughts and
Speaker 3: opinions expressed by the host are their thoughts and opinions
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Speaker 3: your own research and discover the subject matter for yourself.
Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 3: I'm Sandra Champlain. For over twenty five years, I've been
Speaker 3: on a journey to prove the existence of life after death.
Speaker 3: On each episode, we'll discuss the reasons we now know
Speaker 3: that our loved ones have survived physical death and so
Speaker 3: will we. Welcome to Shades of the Afterlife. Have you
Speaker 3: ever wondered what your life purpose is? I want to
Speaker 3: ask you three questions just for you to ponder. You
Speaker 3: don't need to give a response, as it may take
Speaker 3: you a little while to come up with the answer.
Speaker 3: I will revisit this at the end of the episode
Speaker 3: and you'll know why then. The first question is if
Speaker 3: I knew I couldn't fail, what would I do or
Speaker 3: who would I be? Second question, if I knew I
Speaker 3: had one hundred million dollars in the bank, what would
Speaker 3: I do or who would I be? And number three,
Speaker 3: if I knew I only had six months left to live,
Speaker 3: what would I do or who would I be? Good questions. Right,
Speaker 3: our guest today has come up with his life purpose
Speaker 3: a different way, and I think many of us our
Speaker 3: hearts get cracked wide open when we go through the
Speaker 3: grieving process. As difficult as grief may be, it may
Speaker 3: have us asking these important questions of who am I
Speaker 3: and what is my life? For our guest today is
Speaker 3: a berieved father, a bereaved son, a bereaved brother, and
Speaker 3: a bereaved friend. You'll meet Tom Bender, creator and host
Speaker 3: of the Heroes in Grief podcast. On each episode you
Speaker 3: meet inspiring folks who turn their grief into purpose. You
Speaker 3: can find out more at Heroes in Grief dot com.
Speaker 3: Let's meet Tom now hear his story through grief and
Speaker 3: his belief in the afterlife.
Speaker 1: Now presently in Niagara Falls, New York. I'm a native
Speaker 1: Western New Yorker born in Buffalo, and there's been a
Speaker 1: lot of things in my life, a lot of different
Speaker 1: things to pull from varied background. I was a pastor
Speaker 1: for fifteen years in the Christian Church. I was spiritual
Speaker 1: care director at Niagara Hospice for three and a half years.
Speaker 1: I worked ambulance for a long time. I was back
Speaker 1: in the, as you were, the food industry for a
Speaker 1: while and did all kinds of different things. I also
Speaker 1: had been involved in music almost all my life, and
Speaker 1: so my past fifteen years or so has been a
Speaker 1: full time musician here in Western New York. And I
Speaker 1: played in nursing homes and things like that during the
Speaker 1: day times, and then clubs and other things at night,
Speaker 1: and bands and everything else, the whole gamut. But I
Speaker 1: was very privileged to be full time, and so it
Speaker 1: was nice. And then in February twenty third of twenty
Speaker 1: twenty three, my son Jeff passed. He was twenty seven
Speaker 1: years old, and he was living with us. He had
Speaker 1: come to us to get out of a lifestyle he
Speaker 1: had been in involving drugs and things, and so he
Speaker 1: came to live with us two and a half years
Speaker 1: prior to that, and everything was going relatively well, and
Speaker 1: as that sometimes happens, it has gripped him and did
Speaker 1: grip him, and so he finally succumbed to that on
Speaker 1: the twenty third, and that was horrific, of course, and
Speaker 1: changed my life dramatically. I'm still changing and evolving as
Speaker 1: a person since that time. It's not that long, of course,
Speaker 1: but I found amazing resources right away. I knew I
Speaker 1: needed help and tapped into resources that helped me online
Speaker 1: and searching out podcast books, just searching for something to
Speaker 1: grab onto, and I found immediate help through some of those.
Speaker 1: I began to progress in my grief, which I think
Speaker 1: everybody has to do. Early stages are tough because you're
Speaker 1: just trying to live and survive, of course, and so
Speaker 1: what it did is it started moving me onward to
Speaker 1: wanting to realize what's happening with in me. First of all,
Speaker 1: and that was that I was changing. You can't help
Speaker 1: but be changed in many ways, but internally it really
Speaker 1: worked in me, and I realized some things that I'm
Speaker 1: still trying to process and better myself in but I
Speaker 1: wanted to help people and I wanted to help them
Speaker 1: through if I could, the pain that I was going through.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what that was going to look like.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how that was going to happen. I
Speaker 1: quickly took a grief educator course through David Kessler that
Speaker 1: was on a grief group swanline with his organization, and
Speaker 1: again I didn't know exactly what I was going to
Speaker 1: do with that, but I thought, maybe I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe one on ones who knows. So I took that.
Speaker 1: I ended that in June of last year, relatively quick
Speaker 1: again into everything, and then the idea for the podcast
Speaker 1: came around that time, actually, but it just wasn't time.
Speaker 1: I could tell through the summer months and things got busy,
Speaker 1: and it was good because we were being occupied and
Speaker 1: that helps pad the grief process as you're going on
Speaker 1: and being amongst friends and all those things. Really what
Speaker 1: stirred it was that I heard other people's stories and
Speaker 1: they meant a lot to me. It didn't matter the
Speaker 1: circumstances of their grief, it was what came out of it,
Speaker 1: and it seemed like there was something that came out
Speaker 1: of every story that was applicable to my grief. But
Speaker 1: that is what really spurred me on when I saw
Speaker 1: what people were doing with their grief and so many
Speaker 1: people then turned it into purpose, and I thought, first
Speaker 1: of all, the stories should be getting out there for people,
Speaker 1: because different people relate to different people's stories, so the
Speaker 1: more we can get that out there, the better it
Speaker 1: is for everybody. And then to highlight the things that
Speaker 1: people are doing through their grief and the remarkable things.
Speaker 1: There's so many resources available for people in grief that
Speaker 1: are from other people who have experienced grief, and there's
Speaker 1: nobody better, I think, to do that than those who
Speaker 1: know what you're going through. So that's where where the
Speaker 1: whole idea of heroes and grief came from. I struggled
Speaker 1: with the name heroes initially, and then I looked up
Speaker 1: and saw that there's part of the definition of heroes
Speaker 1: that fit perfectly, and I put that in the intro
Speaker 1: to it, and it's those who are doing remarkable things
Speaker 1: encourage and it doesn't matter we've made heroes into these
Speaker 1: superheroes and all these other things. And of course it
Speaker 1: applies to military and things like that, but most people
Speaker 1: the common person would not think themselves a hero in
Speaker 1: any way, but I found through that definition that it applied,
Speaker 1: and they are heroes and certainly heroes for those who
Speaker 1: receive something effective for them in their walk with Greece.
Speaker 1: I've been on a spiritual journey that now has changed
Speaker 1: and exploring meditation in those things. I don't do it
Speaker 1: as much as I should and as well as I should,
Speaker 1: but the benefits are incredible. I believe I'm being guided
Speaker 1: from the universe and from Spirit and from Jeff and
Speaker 1: spirit guides and all those types of things that people
Speaker 1: may be familiar with. I believe Jeff is present right
Speaker 1: here with me right now, and he's shown that in
Speaker 1: so many ways. I have signs that could fill a
Speaker 1: law book of evidence for me personally. So all I
Speaker 1: do is share that as well. And it's very freeing
Speaker 1: to be in the grief community. I've found people in
Speaker 1: the grief community are genuine and wanting help, and those
Speaker 1: who are giving the help are genuine. So it's been
Speaker 1: really refreshing to be part of something that is not competitive.
Speaker 1: People are genuine and real, and that's where you really
Speaker 1: came in for me. And I'll share this story now
Speaker 1: how Sandra and I got connected here to do the podcasts.
Speaker 1: I did a podcast with Roseanne Norris. She heads up
Speaker 1: Helping Parents Heal chapter in Binghamton, New York, and I'm
Speaker 1: part of Helping Parents Heal as well. It's an organization
Speaker 1: that is all for parents who have lost children. And
Speaker 1: so I had her on podcast a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: I knew she was acquainted with you, but we didn't
Speaker 1: get too deep into that. And so after the podcast,
Speaker 1: I sent her an email. And as I have with
Speaker 1: several other different people who very initially when I was
Speaker 1: in my throes of grief and just clutching for things.
Speaker 1: And so that's why I sent the message to Roseanne
Speaker 1: for you, is because I found your podcasts and things
Speaker 1: early on. You're very inviting in your conversation and things.
Speaker 1: I connected with that, and I just wanted to send
Speaker 1: you a message to say that you had a positive
Speaker 1: role in my process and moving forward. So that was
Speaker 1: my intention, and I sent an email to her and said,
Speaker 1: what do you think is the best way to contact
Speaker 1: Sandra so that she would see the message, because I
Speaker 1: didn't know if you actually do your social media and
Speaker 1: those types of things, and so that's all I sent her.
Speaker 1: And so then she sends me back a message and says,
Speaker 1: I contacted sand and she says she wants to be
Speaker 1: on your podcast and she wants to have you on hers.
Speaker 1: That was remarkable to me. So I'm very, very happy
Speaker 1: that you did that. And it's such a privilege to
Speaker 1: be here.
Speaker 3: Oh thank you. My mom says, make things happen, don't
Speaker 3: wait for them to happen. Make things happen. And I
Speaker 3: want to just highlight a few things that you said,
Speaker 3: and then I want to ask you about your connection
Speaker 3: that ongoing with Jeff as we love to hear stories.
Speaker 3: First of all our condolences for his passing. That is
Speaker 3: the one thing that unites all of us. Grief is
Speaker 3: a thing that hurts worse than anything in the world,
Speaker 3: but can actually crack us open to go on that
Speaker 3: spiritual journey that we didn't ask for, that we didn't
Speaker 3: think we needed, But in it there's transformation. There really
Speaker 3: is not only looking at your own spiritual beliefs the hereafter,
Speaker 3: but also who you are as a human being, what
Speaker 3: you're here for, and you have taken your grief and
Speaker 3: grief and action is what.
Speaker 1: You are doing.
Speaker 3: You are making a difference. And I know for myself,
Speaker 3: everything that I learned, I couldn't hang on too for myself,
Speaker 3: I had to just give it away. So you are,
Speaker 3: in fact a hero and grief as well as all
Speaker 3: the people that you interview, and they say it a
Speaker 3: ton of times. Even if you make a difference for
Speaker 3: one person, you never know when you can breathe life
Speaker 3: back into a person. And also sometimes we know grief
Speaker 3: is hard prevent them from even taking their own life. So,
Speaker 3: my friend, now if we can feel back the onion
Speaker 3: a little bit on spiritual beliefs. Now, you mentioned hospice.
Speaker 3: There's some great stories of things that happen in hospice.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've known or heard about some
Speaker 3: of those deathbed visitors. But also I really want to
Speaker 3: hear about your connection with Jeff, because we want to
Speaker 3: know that our loved ones are still around and what
Speaker 3: are real signs and maybe what is our imagination? And
Speaker 3: just if you could talk a little bit about the afterlife.
Speaker 1: Side, probably one of my favorite subjects right now. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: it's interesting. When I was a pastor, I always felt
Speaker 1: that God was bigger. That was the biggest thing that
Speaker 1: stuck with me. You can talk a lot about the
Speaker 1: context of the church and things like that, but I
Speaker 1: don't adhere to the dogma of religion anymore. I certainly
Speaker 1: believe in God and Spirit in a different way, so
Speaker 1: I don't try to get in battles with anybody in
Speaker 1: religion or anything like that. I just knew at the
Speaker 1: time that God was bigger, and when I went to hospice,
Speaker 1: I experienced it. I did see some of the things
Speaker 1: you're speaking of. I saw terminal lucidity, where a person
Speaker 1: who was not conscious or speaking or in their right
Speaker 1: mind for a long time, sometimes up to years. And
Speaker 1: usually these occurrences that I'm about to speak of happen
Speaker 1: and the person passes within a couple days.
Speaker 3: Of as usual, friends, it's time for a quick break,
Speaker 3: and I promised we'll come right back where we left
Speaker 3: off with Tom Bender. You're listening to Shades of the
Speaker 3: Afterlife on the iHeartRadio and Coast to Coast AM Paranormal
Speaker 3: podcast Network. Welcome back to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm
Speaker 3: Sandra Champlain and we're with Tom Bender, founder and podcast
Speaker 3: host of Heroes in Grief. He's had a varied background,
Speaker 3: including being spiritual director at a hospice. Let's continue with
Speaker 3: his story.
Speaker 1: And when I went to hospice, I experienced it. If
Speaker 1: I saw terminal lucidity where a person who was not
Speaker 1: conscious or speaking or in their right mind for a
Speaker 1: long time, sometimes up to years. And usually these occurrences
Speaker 1: that I'm about to speak of happen and the person
Speaker 1: passes within a couple days of this. Usually there's a
Speaker 1: lot of studies going on with this type of thing.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: Actually here locally factor for Christopher Kerr, which is at
Speaker 1: Airy County Hospice or Buffalo Hospice, has done great studies
Speaker 1: on this. But terminal lucidity, a person comes into their
Speaker 1: regular minds and is talking to their family members. And
Speaker 1: I witnessed this. I saw this happen and they were
Speaker 1: just dumbfounded, the people around this person, because she knew
Speaker 1: every name, she knew every place, she knew everything that
Speaker 1: had been happening all around her in the recent history.
Speaker 1: And everybody was shocked. And of course it's difficult for
Speaker 1: the family members because they feel this is a rallying point,
Speaker 1: and really what it is because a kind of a
Speaker 1: picture of the end. But yeah, I experienced that, and
Speaker 1: it is a remarkable experience, and so we knew this happened,
Speaker 1: and we saw this happen. I saw it probably physically
Speaker 1: myself a couple times and witnessed it. I heard of
Speaker 1: it obviously other times from the workers there. And then
Speaker 1: there's other things where they see somebody who has passed
Speaker 1: on before them and they talk about it, and they
Speaker 1: see it and they talk to them, and they see
Speaker 1: them in the room, or they'll see them behind somebody
Speaker 1: when they're talking to them. These occurrences happened while I
Speaker 1: was there too, and I witnessed that happen. So those
Speaker 1: are actual things that people see. We're just normal people.
Speaker 1: I know you feel the same Leasander that you share
Speaker 1: these things. We are just normal people who have witnessed
Speaker 1: these remarkable things around us, and it has to be shared,
Speaker 1: or our society seems to squelch these things for some reason,
Speaker 1: or maybe we're just desensitized where it doesn't have the
Speaker 1: impact that it should. But they're extraordinary things. With Jeff,
Speaker 1: Oh boy, there's so many. One of the very early
Speaker 1: things that happened was in the immediate days and day
Speaker 1: of and days after Jeff passed, and he lived with
Speaker 1: us here in the house, and so I'd go into
Speaker 1: the bathroom and and of course I'm in my acute
Speaker 1: grief phase and you are in la la land. You
Speaker 1: don't even know what's going on. It's hard to find
Speaker 1: the door, you know. And so I'd walk into the
Speaker 1: bathroom and I would hear Dad, Dad every time it happened,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Jeff, I know you're there, and
Speaker 1: I'm here. I hear you. And I talked to him,
Speaker 1: you know, crying at that time, but talking to him.
Speaker 1: And he did it probably for about maybe a month
Speaker 1: or so, just every time Dad, and it was his voice,
Speaker 1: and so it was amazing. That was the first thing.
Speaker 1: About three weeks after he passed. Now, as I said,
Speaker 1: he'd lived with us, and he was a construction worker,
Speaker 1: a great worker, and helped around the house and did things.
Speaker 1: We had that bad snowstorm in Buffalo, which was around
Speaker 1: Christmas time in twenty twenty two, so he was here
Speaker 1: for that time and we got two or three feet
Speaker 1: of snow oh here, and so he was out shoveling
Speaker 1: one day. And Jeff was like a bull in the
Speaker 1: china shop. He was a big guy, but a tender heart,
Speaker 1: just a teddy bear, but he was like a bull
Speaker 1: in the china shop and we just shake our heads
Speaker 1: and say, Jeff, what did you do? Yeah, that type
Speaker 1: of thing. Remember he pulled in the driveway one time
Speaker 1: and knocked the extension cord holder off the wall and
Speaker 1: he had to fix that, but he could fix it,
Speaker 1: so it was like, OK, what he did this time? He
Speaker 1: was shoveling outside and all of a sudden he came
Speaker 1: in and he's holding the shovel handle in his hand
Speaker 1: and he goes, I broke the handle, you know. So
Speaker 1: actually we went and replaced it that day, or he
Speaker 1: went and got another shovel and he came back in
Speaker 1: and he had broken another shovel, so two of them
Speaker 1: while he was doing that. After that time, a few
Speaker 1: days after whatever, I fixed the shovel handle on the
Speaker 1: first one that he broke, and that was the one
Speaker 1: we used all the time, and we had used it
Speaker 1: several times multiple times since then. When Jeff passed, it
Speaker 1: was February twenty third, so this was two months after
Speaker 1: the snowstorm. And three weeks after that, I go out
Speaker 1: to our porch. We didn't really have any snow at
Speaker 1: that time, but we kept our shovel on the porch,
Speaker 1: and it really hadn't been windy that day either, and
Speaker 1: we have a carpeted porch. I have a picture of this. Actually.
Speaker 1: I opened up the door just to get some air,
Speaker 1: and the shovel's ling on the carpeted floor and the
Speaker 1: handle is broken off. And I just was like, Jeff,
Speaker 1: that is Jeff, you know, And how did it break
Speaker 1: on a carpeted floor, falling from just standing? And it
Speaker 1: was remarkable. So a great sign from him something recently
Speaker 1: that happened. And I've really been trying to get in
Speaker 1: touch with Jeff and in touch with the spirit world.
Speaker 1: So sometimes I drive for a living. I drive for
Speaker 1: a charter company here in the Falls, and I was
Speaker 1: driving out to a school one time. It was in
Speaker 1: the evening and it was about hour long drive, and
Speaker 1: I put on meditation music. Now this isn't advice for
Speaker 1: some people when you're driving, but I just wanted something
Speaker 1: to mellow myself, to get myself in a mindful state,
Speaker 1: and so I did that while I was listening. You know,
Speaker 1: if you've ever seen the newer vehicles, sometimes they have
Speaker 1: like a holographic display on the windshield and it goes
Speaker 1: up there and it's a little rectangle that has holographic
Speaker 1: things on there. This is the way it came up
Speaker 1: for me. And I was just trying to get in
Speaker 1: a mindful state, and mindfulness is just getting in the
Speaker 1: present moment, releasing everything else. And so all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: I see that, just like a rectangle, and Jeff is
Speaker 1: down in the corner and he's just like like, hey here,
Speaker 1: I am his fun kid, funny, beautiful smile, and he
Speaker 1: was just like, hey here I am. I'm here. I
Speaker 1: love you, I know it. And I acknowledged him, and
Speaker 1: as I do, and I talk to him, and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, my mother shows up. Mother passed
Speaker 1: too years before Jeff, than my father. My dad died
Speaker 1: when I was ten. Then my brother, my brother died
Speaker 1: about ten years ago now maybe more. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: all the people in my life that I knew started
Speaker 1: showing up, and it formed like this big party of
Speaker 1: people there, and one by one I'd remember them and
Speaker 1: they'd show up and they were like hi, Hi, just
Speaker 1: kept saying hi, We're all here, and it was just
Speaker 1: such an experience and acknowledgement. Now, this is what happens
Speaker 1: a lot now for me. I need confirmations. We keep
Speaker 1: needing these knocks in the head to say this is real,
Speaker 1: this is real. They're there and they're they're with us.
Speaker 1: And so I couldn't think of one person that had
Speaker 1: passed in my life that it was close to me
Speaker 1: that didn't show up there. And so that is just
Speaker 1: something that happened recently that is pretty remarkable.
Speaker 3: I just want to ask that you were continuing driving
Speaker 3: when this is all happened.
Speaker 1: I did notice that while I was driving. Yes, I'm
Speaker 1: thinking of it as it's happening. I was thinking, in
Speaker 1: my head, you are totally present what you're doing here.
Speaker 1: I was focused on driving the guest right.
Speaker 3: And I know from personal experience we need to be present,
Speaker 3: we need to be in the zone, and sometimes driving
Speaker 3: is it. I've never heard an experience like that, and
Speaker 3: I know from my own experiences when they show up
Speaker 3: and in my mind it can be an image not
Speaker 3: outside of me, but I can tell what they look like,
Speaker 3: what they're wearing. It's different than when my mind says, okay,
Speaker 3: picture my dad, because then I have to slow down
Speaker 3: and okay, that's what he looks like, and okay, invent
Speaker 3: what he's wearing. But it's just like, there they are,
Speaker 3: And so it sounds to me like a similar thing
Speaker 3: that they just present themselves.
Speaker 1: There they are.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't even have time to try to figure out
Speaker 3: and imagine them.
Speaker 1: No, And I wouldn't have put him in the striped
Speaker 1: shirt that he had on. People when they see things
Speaker 1: or wonder if it's conjuring up in their own mind
Speaker 1: or if it's the reality of some of the spirits
Speaker 1: showing themselves that it's definite. It's definite, it's real. It
Speaker 1: wasn't like vague. It was very clear, and you just
Speaker 1: know it's real. It's not like some obscure thing that's
Speaker 1: just wavering out there or something. It was very definite,
Speaker 1: very clear. And all the rest of them that came up,
Speaker 1: they really didn't say anything. They were just like every
Speaker 1: one of them kind of just came up and like
Speaker 1: acknowledged me and waves said we're here, we're here, We're here.
Speaker 1: It's it's like pounding into my head. This is real,
Speaker 1: this is real that we are here. And so it
Speaker 1: was so awesome to experience that. And yeah, yeah, it
Speaker 1: was exhilarating.
Speaker 3: I just got a new to me car. It's a
Speaker 3: pre owned, and it has that hologram on the windshield
Speaker 3: so I can tell how fast I'm going and not
Speaker 3: going and blinks when I'm going over the speed limit.
Speaker 3: So I love it. But now next time I get
Speaker 3: into my car, I'm going to.
Speaker 1: Think of your story.
Speaker 3: Oh you spoke about you still talk to Jeff, which
Speaker 3: we should because they're very much alive. But what does
Speaker 3: that look like in your day? Is it just including
Speaker 3: him and things?
Speaker 1: And how do you? Yeah, you just feel him, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and yes and yes. Sometimes he reveals himself will remind me.
Speaker 1: And boy, you feel guilty sometimes, you know, when you're
Speaker 1: not thinking of it all the time. But we need
Speaker 1: to go on with our lives. They want us to
Speaker 1: go on with our lives. We have things to do.
Speaker 1: As you said, what we're doing is important, and so
Speaker 1: you have these things to do, so you can't beat
Speaker 1: yourself up about that. But sometimes I get eleven eleven
Speaker 1: on the time all the time. I dur Like I said,
Speaker 1: I drive during the days, and so I'll just glance
Speaker 1: at the clock. All of a sudden, it might be
Speaker 1: my arrival time, it might be the time that it is.
Speaker 1: But one time it happened seven days in a row,
Speaker 1: and unprovoked, I was like, okay, well you're getting my
Speaker 1: attention here for something, and you know, I just kind
Speaker 1: of used it as my internal working on that. Dad. Remember,
Speaker 1: do what you're supposed to be doing, you know. And
Speaker 1: I need those reminders. So that's good. But various ways,
Speaker 1: I've only had one dream with Jeff, and which is
Speaker 1: strange to me because I would love for those visitations
Speaker 1: and dreams. Of course, just recently, again, it was an
Speaker 1: acknowledgment that he's here. It was interesting. I don't know,
Speaker 1: dreams are so strange, you know, I know his dream
Speaker 1: it wasn't a visit really, Maybe that portion of it
Speaker 1: was a visit because I remember it specifically and clearly,
Speaker 1: but you know, dreams going on or whatever. But all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, Jeff just protruded out of a section
Speaker 1: of the visual field, I guess is the best way
Speaker 1: I can put it. And again, I haven't had a
Speaker 1: dream for Jeff. And it was just like pretty much
Speaker 1: that I'm here, I'm here, dad, you know that pretty
Speaker 1: much like that with his handouts, I'm here, Dad. And
Speaker 1: so when I woke up, I was distressed. I felt
Speaker 1: that that was meaningful and purposeful and so I just
Speaker 1: felt thank you, you know, and I acknowledge him. And
Speaker 1: it might be the coins I pick up. I find
Speaker 1: the coins all the time, and I've kept all the
Speaker 1: ones that I've found since then.
Speaker 3: Friends, it's time for another quick break, and when we
Speaker 3: get back, there's more of Heroes and Grief podcast host
Speaker 3: Tom Bender. You're listening to Shades of the Afterlife on
Speaker 3: the iHeartRadio and Coast to Coast, a paranormal podcast network.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sandra Champlain
Speaker 3: talking to Tom Bender, host of Heroes in Grief. Tom
Speaker 3: has been a longtime professional musician. Well, I feel has
Speaker 3: the pause button on that career right now, and a
Speaker 3: lot has to do with grief. So let's continue with
Speaker 3: him talking about signs and his music and grief.
Speaker 1: It's strange because I've been in music in my life too,
Speaker 1: and music has not been a part of it. Really.
Speaker 1: I'm not involved in music now, so maybe that's it.
Speaker 1: People send me a lot of music in it initially,
Speaker 1: and I did not want to listen to anything. But
Speaker 1: that's still a place I kind of don't want to go.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you another story that happened today though, and
Speaker 1: this is interesting. I posted a poem on my podcast
Speaker 1: page and it's a beautiful poem. So I posted the
Speaker 1: poem and I had sent this actually to my daughter,
Speaker 1: to Jeff's sister, and I put the emojis on there.
Speaker 1: I put a couple emojis. I put a heart with
Speaker 1: stars on it, and then I put one hundred percent
Speaker 1: thing and then I put a thumbs up. And that's
Speaker 1: what I sent to her yesterday, and today I put
Speaker 1: it on the podcast. Well you know, I put those
Speaker 1: things on there. I posted it and I looked at
Speaker 1: it and there's a buffalo in there. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't click on the buffalo, and I was going
Speaker 1: to change it and take it out, and then I
Speaker 1: thought Jeff, Jeff and I were huge are huge Buffalo
Speaker 1: Bills fans, and we watched every single game together. We
Speaker 1: have his jersey up in our garage with lights around
Speaker 1: it on a memorial wall for Jeff and everything. I
Speaker 1: acknowledge him. Every game. We do jello shots for the
Speaker 1: Bill's touchdowns. I do one for him every time. You
Speaker 1: know so, but the Buffalo's in there, and I was like,
Speaker 1: of course, I mean, just crazy stuff, amazing.
Speaker 3: I's like he has a great sense of humor.
Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely, and being a young.
Speaker 3: Man, because you're a young man, there's technology, there's different
Speaker 3: ways I think they'll used to be in touch with us.
Speaker 3: You know, my grandmother died at ninety, so she probably
Speaker 3: not so much would use the emojis. I think our
Speaker 3: personalities and our interests dictate how people work with us
Speaker 3: and through us. So I think as much as you're
Speaker 3: focusing on slowing down, being present, paying attention, talking to him,
Speaker 3: he's being creative in different ways to be in touch
Speaker 3: from his side and what works, what doesn't work. Let
Speaker 3: me knock over the shovel.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I literally did laugh then, and it was
Speaker 1: a hurtful time and I just shook my head like, oh, Jeff,
Speaker 1: you know so typical, Like you said, such a humor
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Let's talk a little bit about grief because I think
Speaker 3: one of the reasons that we have such a difficult
Speaker 3: time with it, well, one is that's part of our biology.
Speaker 3: But other than that, death is kept so distant from us.
Speaker 3: Undred years ago, people grew up in a totally different
Speaker 3: time and funerals were in their living room. They're parlor, right,
Speaker 3: and it's funny because once they started moving out of
Speaker 3: the house that that's when the name living room came
Speaker 3: because before that it was parlor and that was associated
Speaker 3: with death. And so grief normally hurts awful, But then
Speaker 3: when it's caught out of the blue, and then we've
Speaker 3: never had training on it as human beings, which is
Speaker 3: amazing because people are raised learning how to rear a
Speaker 3: child or get a book on this, that and the
Speaker 3: other thing, but it's not taught about before we grieve.
Speaker 3: And so people like you and me and others and
Speaker 3: let people know that this is a very real thing
Speaker 3: and how to best navigate through it.
Speaker 1: Can we just talk a little bit about.
Speaker 3: Grief and perhaps your recommendations If somebody's going through a
Speaker 3: time where they're feeling extreme guilt, you know those could
Speaker 3: as should have would have moments and replaying things in
Speaker 3: our mind and the tremendous pain. Yes, we're going to
Speaker 3: point them to Heroes and Grief podcast. But what can
Speaker 3: we do? What are some tools that we can do
Speaker 3: on the court.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'll definitely address that first. First of all, you
Speaker 1: shouldn't grieve alone. Nobody should grieve alone. Were I don't
Speaker 1: think we're meant to. I think we're meant to be together.
Speaker 1: And especially in the greeting process, so many things can
Speaker 1: happen when you're associated with other people, and especially other
Speaker 1: people who have been grieving. They understand things on a
Speaker 1: level that you can relate to, and so it really
Speaker 1: helps that those things about grief or guilt and all
Speaker 1: of that, the troublesome scenes. I experienced that myself, the
Speaker 1: things that pop into your head, it's a retraining of
Speaker 1: the mind. You need to acknowledge it at the time,
Speaker 1: and you need to feel it. Anything with grief, you
Speaker 1: need to it and go through it or it's going
Speaker 1: to come back on you at some times. So if
Speaker 1: you want to lessen and quicken the process of living
Speaker 1: with more love than pain in your life through the
Speaker 1: grief process, then you need to deal with it. You
Speaker 1: need to sit down with it and go through it.
Speaker 1: So when the pain comes, when you experience it, when
Speaker 1: it goes through. For instance, that image came through my head.
Speaker 1: I was at the volleyball game and that popped into
Speaker 1: my head and I was like, what you know, and
Speaker 1: it hurt and tears came to my eyes and I
Speaker 1: sat with it for a second and then I said
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going to start replacing this with
Speaker 1: something else so that can move on from my mind.
Speaker 1: So you deal with it, you acknowledge it. And so
Speaker 1: what I started doing, and it's the suggestion again that
Speaker 1: I got from David Kessler and his sessions in Tender Hearts,
Speaker 1: the group that he has online. You talk to somebody,
Speaker 1: and he said, when those things come, to replace them
Speaker 1: with better images and ignore knowledgement of the person and
Speaker 1: things like that. So what I do is I say
Speaker 1: I love you, Jeff, I love you Jeff, and I
Speaker 1: start thinking other things about Jeff, the better things, the
Speaker 1: life things, and retraining my mind to get away from
Speaker 1: that vision and those things that are going on. Eventually,
Speaker 1: that process changes as those memories come, and I deal
Speaker 1: with it a lot quicker now, you know, I certainly
Speaker 1: think of it still, It's still going to come up
Speaker 1: in my mind, but it's also dealt with differently. I
Speaker 1: am in a stronger sense with it. It's still hurts
Speaker 1: sometimes sometimes I sit in it and I just say
Speaker 1: it's horrible, and I go through some of the details
Speaker 1: of it and work through it. But then I still
Speaker 1: work to come out of it. And you need to
Speaker 1: do that. You need to look at those other things
Speaker 1: and retrain your mind to go in a different direction.
Speaker 1: So you talked about being more proactive in the grief conversation,
Speaker 1: and this is a huge passion of mine. It's just
Speaker 1: it's come out of nowhere. But I think that this
Speaker 1: needs to be part of wellness training, it needs to
Speaker 1: be part of early education. We're all going to go
Speaker 1: through grief. There's so many resources in the underground of
Speaker 1: us grief workers. And I found this out because I'm
Speaker 1: a good networker and on social media. You know, there's
Speaker 1: hundreds of podcasts out there about grief. Everybody's like, Oh,
Speaker 1: you're doing such a remarkable thing. There's plenty out there,
Speaker 1: people just don't know about them. This is where our
Speaker 1: society squelches the grief conversation and says, oh, we don't
Speaker 1: want grief. They're okay on a reactive situation. But we
Speaker 1: can be way more proactive than grief and the conversation.
Speaker 1: And I think it should be done at workplaces. I
Speaker 1: think it should be done in the student settings to
Speaker 1: help people be more equipped with grief. Whether it's for
Speaker 1: the grieving person or the people around them. They can
Speaker 1: be educated better how to be around a grieving person
Speaker 1: and make it a lot easier on you and them.
Speaker 1: So many people that'll ask the question, how are you doing,
Speaker 1: and then you start really telling them as an honest
Speaker 1: grieving person, and they don't want to hear that. They're
Speaker 1: not ready for that. They need to understand that they
Speaker 1: need to receive it and be ready to receive in
Speaker 1: love and compassion. Sometimes a grieving person, even though they're
Speaker 1: grieving for a long time, all of a sudden they
Speaker 1: just start crying at work, and somebody may think that
Speaker 1: they cause that to happen or whatever. No, it happens,
Speaker 1: and it still happens. So there's just a lot of
Speaker 1: things that people can be enlightened to. I think I
Speaker 1: would really love to be part of that process. I
Speaker 1: started a thing called Grief Talks, where I'm pushing to
Speaker 1: try to get into places to be able to do
Speaker 1: that type of thing, and of course also help in
Speaker 1: a grieving situation. If something has happened at a place
Speaker 1: or organization, whatever it may be, it doesn't matter to
Speaker 1: me where I go. So that's a big passion. And yeah,
Speaker 1: you struck a chord there beyond that, and it seems
Speaker 1: to come up again and again really for me. So
Speaker 1: that's how I know that the universe is kind of
Speaker 1: leading you in that way. You get these pushes and
Speaker 1: they keep coming up again and again. The same circumstances
Speaker 1: are people talking about it. So I feel that I'm
Speaker 1: heading that direct for sure.
Speaker 3: I know my listeners know my story, and I know
Speaker 3: you're going to be interviewing me next week, so I
Speaker 3: won't get too much into this right now. But with me,
Speaker 3: grief devastated me. With the death of my father causing
Speaker 3: a breakdown of my relationships with siblings, I hit rock bottom.
Speaker 3: And before that I knew I was going to someday
Speaker 3: share the afterlife stuff that I was learning, But it
Speaker 3: was really learning about grief and the impact and things
Speaker 3: we can do to move through the pain that gave
Speaker 3: me the kick in the butt to get these words
Speaker 3: out there. And I really did want to share what
Speaker 3: I knew about the afterlife. So the book's titled We
Speaker 3: Don't Die as Skeptics Discovery of Life after Death. But
Speaker 3: I thought, like it or not, I'm going to educate
Speaker 3: people on grief, and so that's chapter ten. So folks
Speaker 3: like it or not, but you do like it because
Speaker 3: you realize that grief isn't just when a loved one dies.
Speaker 3: It can be for so many different things that happen
Speaker 3: with relationships, and you know, so many different things. So
Speaker 3: I think anytime we can give somebody a helping hand.
Speaker 3: And for those people that are uncomfortable, they don't know
Speaker 3: how to deal with it, well, it's just because grief
Speaker 3: hasn't hit you yet, but it will. And I would
Speaker 3: much rather hear from somebody who's experienced grief because they know.
Speaker 3: It's like a club that we belong to that we
Speaker 3: didn't really ask to be part of, but it really
Speaker 3: helps people need people we don't want to be alone,
Speaker 3: and so I applaud you for that. What else can
Speaker 3: we find on your website, Heroes in grief dot com.
Speaker 3: There's a way to access your podcast there right.
Speaker 1: All the informations. There are links to go to where
Speaker 1: you need to go to. I have a couple groups
Speaker 1: that I started on Facebook. I searched resources early on,
Speaker 1: probably in the springtime, right after Jeff past I searched
Speaker 1: online for a local grief group on Facebook because I
Speaker 1: tend to do well online, so that's why I do
Speaker 1: that type of stuff. So I looked and there was
Speaker 1: no group. I was shocked to find that there was
Speaker 1: no grief group for Western New York people or Buffalo
Speaker 1: or any of the area. So I started one, and
Speaker 1: it's called Western New York Network for Grief and the Grieving.
Speaker 1: It's for people just to have a safe place to
Speaker 1: come and share grief with others. I have a Grief
Speaker 1: Talks Facebook page. I have Friends of the podcast page
Speaker 1: where people could discuss things about the podcast if they wish,
Speaker 1: and the YouTube page, and now the grief Talks that
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get out there as well. There's a
Speaker 1: shop on there and it has the books and resources
Speaker 1: from the guests that I've had on the podcast, so
Speaker 1: those are available there and the links who are always
Speaker 1: in the show notes of the shows that I do too.
Speaker 3: My friends. I'm going to stop for our break here,
Speaker 3: and why I'm doing that is because when we get back,
Speaker 3: Tom will continue talking about some interesting things he does
Speaker 3: as an uber driver to engage in the conversation. And
Speaker 3: then also we'll get back to those three questions I
Speaker 3: asked you in the beginning, so we'll be right back.
Speaker 3: You're listening to Shades of the Afterlife on the iHeartRadio
Speaker 3: and Coast to Coast am Paranormal Podcast Network. Welcome back
Speaker 3: to Shades of the Afterlife. I'm Sandras Champlain and we
Speaker 3: are here with the fabulous Tom Bender, host of Heroes
Speaker 3: in Grief podcast. Tom seems to have found one of
Speaker 3: his life purposes helping people through grief, and you may
Speaker 3: be surprised to learn how he engages people in conversation because,
Speaker 3: as we know, people need people. So let's continue with Tom.
Speaker 1: You are speaking, and it struck me too that so
Speaker 1: many people they may reach out to wants and have
Speaker 1: a bad experience or not get what they wanted. I
Speaker 1: just want to tell people you've got to keep pressing.
Speaker 1: There's something out there for you, and the same thing
Speaker 1: with resources. There's something for you there. And I just
Speaker 1: want to encourage people to press on in that and
Speaker 1: you can get help for sure.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Can we just do a little plug for
Speaker 3: our friends at Helpingparents Heal dot org and let us
Speaker 3: know the difference they've made or what's available.
Speaker 1: I am passionate about Helping Parents Heal and I'm in
Speaker 1: Helping Fathers Heal group. It's just dads we've lost children.
Speaker 1: It is a Facebook group, but we have a zoom
Speaker 1: session meeting with the men every Wednesday night. It's eight easterns,
Speaker 1: so whatever that works out in the other time zones.
Speaker 1: You want to be there every single week. And every
Speaker 1: man says that in the group, they're like, oh, I
Speaker 1: can't wait for Wednesdays. It's men sharing as men do
Speaker 1: and that is great. So helping parents heal in general.
Speaker 1: I got to go to the conference in August. They
Speaker 1: have a conference two years down in Phoenix. We had
Speaker 1: evidential mediums there who brought out the children for certain
Speaker 1: parents there. And one gentleman, his daughter came through and
Speaker 1: he was behind me in the conference room and it
Speaker 1: was so personal and obviously things that no way these
Speaker 1: mediums could know from any other source. And afterwards I
Speaker 1: said to that dad, and he's a rawnie guy, his
Speaker 1: military or whatever, and I said, were you like bawling
Speaker 1: because I was when they were saying what they were
Speaker 1: saying his daughter was coming through, and he goes, of
Speaker 1: course I was bawling. And so he's actually written this story. Now.
Speaker 1: Mike Johnson is paid remarkable on helping parents heal. But
Speaker 1: when I was there, and you want that and you
Speaker 1: desire that, and then I heard one of the speakers say,
Speaker 1: if your child's not coming through, don't get discouraged. It
Speaker 1: may be that possibly you don't need it as much
Speaker 1: as somebody else, or something like that. And I thought
Speaker 1: about that, and I thought that may be the case.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel okay and strong in this,
Speaker 1: and I know Jeff's president. And then I thought about it.
Speaker 1: And as I said to you before, if I thought
Speaker 1: about all the things that occurred to me through Jeff
Speaker 1: and with Jeff, that I would have a legal binder
Speaker 1: to take into court and show my evidence. It would
Speaker 1: be huge. I don't document it. I should. Everybody says
Speaker 1: about your and I know it's great, but I don't.
Speaker 1: But I would have that I don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about it. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Helpingparents. Heal dot Org is the website and there's somewhere
Speaker 3: around twenty thousand members, big organization. If you're not a parent,
Speaker 3: you can still access the YouTube channel and the website.
Speaker 3: There's lots of resources on the website itself, but the
Speaker 3: YouTube channel is loaded with just great videos and interviews
Speaker 3: and medium demonstrations and if people don't know, every Sunday
Speaker 3: at two pm Eastern time, we do a free inspirational
Speaker 3: non denominational service on Zoom. Everybody's welcome. In the last
Speaker 3: forty five minutes of each one is a medium demonstration
Speaker 3: occurred to me, Tom, while we're talking, I'm going to
Speaker 3: throw this out there. Would you like to be a
Speaker 3: guest speaker sometime on our Sunday gathering?
Speaker 1: Wow? What an honor. I would absolutely be honored to
Speaker 1: do that. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.
Speaker 3: It just words that I know will make a difference.
Speaker 3: So we'll talk about that after while we're here together.
Speaker 1: You're welcome.
Speaker 3: I just you're somebody that makes a difference and I
Speaker 3: can get your words to the most amount of people.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm here to do. I've taken courses in
Speaker 3: medium ship. I'm not an active medium. I don't do
Speaker 3: medium readings, but I feel like the universe is using
Speaker 3: me as a medium in a different way to get
Speaker 3: good people's stories out to the most amount of people,
Speaker 3: to help get through grief, look at life the bigger picture,
Speaker 3: and to know that we're each important in our own
Speaker 3: unique way. We're all those facets of the diamond, all perfect,
Speaker 3: whole and complete, and to know there's just such a
Speaker 3: bigger purpose. So Tom what else would you like to
Speaker 3: share with our minutes together, If there's anything I should
Speaker 3: have asked you that I didn't any maybe last words
Speaker 3: of inspiration you have.
Speaker 1: I continually go back to who I was, I think
Speaker 1: and where people may be. We progress in this, and
Speaker 1: we have this belief and trust in this now and
Speaker 1: confidence in this. And I think of the people who
Speaker 1: aren't there, and I can almost see it as being
Speaker 1: something that's almost not offensive but discouraging to them. So
Speaker 1: I'm sensitive to them, and it just keeps raising up
Speaker 1: for me too, And I just want to tell you
Speaker 1: that once again, we are just normal folks who have
Speaker 1: experienced these great things and are sharing them with you.
Speaker 1: And I tell people sometimes these discussions come up in
Speaker 1: my car. I drive for a company here in the
Speaker 1: Falls that does charters and things like that, but I
Speaker 1: also drive uber and lyft during the day, and I
Speaker 1: decided to put a placard on the back of my
Speaker 1: seats that the people can see while they're riding in
Speaker 1: my car, and I put in there, and I believe
Speaker 1: I was led to put this. I put I saw
Speaker 1: Jeff past from Fennol, and then I put I'm okay
Speaker 1: to talk about it. And I think that line has
Speaker 1: made such a difference, and this has really brought out
Speaker 1: conversations with people and sometimes their addicts, sometimes they're grieving people.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they know somebody else in grief, and so I
Speaker 1: feel I was allowed to do that to foster this
Speaker 1: conversation even in that context. So I just want to
Speaker 1: tell people that there's so much available for you and
Speaker 1: if you can share with people who maybe alone in
Speaker 1: their grief. I did have a woman contact me recently
Speaker 1: lost her daughter and they just sit at the dining
Speaker 1: room table every day and don't do anything. It's been months,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you got to get together with people.
Speaker 1: The community is needed to get you through these things,
Speaker 1: and so you need to do that. And there's so
Speaker 1: many resources available that you know, and that's part of
Speaker 1: the podcast too. They can fit your style for every
Speaker 1: make or size of person, for or there's something out
Speaker 1: there for you and something you could connect with. Just
Speaker 1: start looking into it, start explore it like you would
Speaker 1: anything else. You'd research anything else, right, So just look
Speaker 1: into it. We don't have to recruit you. It's not
Speaker 1: about recruiting. We just tell our stories and what we're experiencing,
Speaker 1: and we get excited about them because we know that
Speaker 1: other people can experience that too, and that's the greatest thing.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you for that. You just brought to my
Speaker 3: mind the word inspiration. And when I was writing my book,
Speaker 3: I got some coaching that just start writing even if
Speaker 3: you don't know what to say, and it's like this
Speaker 3: wind of inspiration in spirit comes to help. Last night
Speaker 3: I was recording a podcast and I needed some help editing,
Speaker 3: and I just I was procrastinating. Just start and then
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, whosh, it came in. So, whether
Speaker 3: it's researching the afterlife, grief, whatever that is in your
Speaker 3: life that you're passionate about it, like you said, just
Speaker 3: keep pushing, take that one step in the direction of it.
Speaker 3: And I believe those in the unseen world that spirit
Speaker 3: or the soul within will kick in, but it takes
Speaker 3: us taking that very first action.
Speaker 1: Yes, and your journey is your own. You know where
Speaker 1: you are is all right. But I tell some of
Speaker 1: these people who talk to me in the car and
Speaker 1: they're just sometimes they just shake in their heads like
Speaker 1: where did this come from? And what I say is,
Speaker 1: for one thing, I do not believe in coincidences. They
Speaker 1: were there for a reason they were put in my car.
Speaker 1: We were connected for a reason. You're hearing this podcast
Speaker 1: for a reason right now, folks out there who are listening,
Speaker 1: and there's a reason why you've listened to it today.
Speaker 1: And so that's what I tell you to explore, not
Speaker 1: any particular thing that we've said or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but they are resources for you to explore that you
Speaker 1: were put here to listen or to receive what you've
Speaker 1: gained from whatever you hear or listen to from somebody.
Speaker 1: So that's the remarkable thing to me. I tell this
Speaker 1: person in the car, don't think of me or whatever,
Speaker 1: think of the fact that you were in this car,
Speaker 1: and there's reason why you were there, and that's what
Speaker 1: you need to explore.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, And yeah I know it's not about you,
Speaker 3: it's not about me. Where the messengers. If it was
Speaker 3: about us, we'd have a big egos and the world
Speaker 3: couldn't handle it. No, no, no, So just keep staying grounded.
Speaker 3: And also that's a really good tool for people to
Speaker 3: use what you put on the back of your seats.
Speaker 3: We connect when we can feel each other's humanity. And yes,
Speaker 3: you know, people post pictures of the food they eat
Speaker 3: on social media and all that good stuff, But it
Speaker 3: really is when we get into these heart to heart
Speaker 3: conversations and if we can give ourselves the permission to
Speaker 3: share some of those things, other people feel like, hey,
Speaker 3: if he's talking about this, I can too. And that's
Speaker 3: where you can make the real connections with other human
Speaker 3: beings and people need people.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you know that is something that came to
Speaker 1: mine as you were saying that, is that these people
Speaker 1: want it, they want that conversation, they've wanted it, and
Speaker 1: that's what I feel when they leave sometimes.
Speaker 3: Well, Tom, I needed doing what you're doing. And Tom,
Speaker 3: thank you so much for being our guest today.
Speaker 1: Thank you, And like I said, it's such a privilege
Speaker 1: in looking forward to hearing more about you.
Speaker 3: Tom and I have become friends and very soon you
Speaker 3: can find my episode with him on Heroes in Grief
Speaker 3: dot com. Tom has found a life purpose, as have I.
Speaker 3: But is it the life purpose? Is there a purpose
Speaker 3: to each of our lives like one? Nope, I don't
Speaker 3: think so. While we're on this planet, if you look
Speaker 3: at the person you've been being, what you've been doing,
Speaker 3: the people you've been with, you may see a trend
Speaker 3: our life purpose does not have to be one thing.
Speaker 3: It can be how we're being. I'm someone who likes
Speaker 3: to make a difference. I'm someone who loves to share.
Speaker 3: I'm someone who likes to have fun. All of those
Speaker 3: are part of my life purpose. But if we go
Speaker 3: back to those three questions, here they are. If I
Speaker 3: knew I couldn't fail, what would I do or be?
Speaker 3: If I knew I had one hundred million dollars in
Speaker 3: the bank, what would I do or be? And the last,
Speaker 3: if I knew I had only six months to live,
Speaker 3: what would I do or be? There's a time of year,
Speaker 3: my friend, that people make resolutions. Instead of looking at
Speaker 3: what's wrong, look at what's right, Look at who you've
Speaker 3: been being and what you've been doing. Answer those questions
Speaker 3: for yourself. Program your GPS in that direction, and I
Speaker 3: promise you when you take action, the invisible forces will
Speaker 3: kick in and add wind to your sales, bringing you
Speaker 3: towards the life of your dreams. As a reminder, come
Speaker 3: visit me at We Don't Die dot com. I'm Sandra Champlain.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for listening to Shades of the
Speaker 3: Afterlife on the iHeartRadio and Coast to Coast am Paranormal
Speaker 3: Podcast Network.
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to the iHeartRadio and Coast to Coast
Speaker 2: Day and Paranormal Podcast Network. Make sure and check out
Speaker 2: all our shows on the iHeartRadio app or by going
Speaker 2: to iHeartRadio dot com