Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nicky. Hello, welcome to show.
Speaker 1: It's a Nicklaser podcast. Here I am, It's Nicky Glazer.
Speaker 1: I am back in Saint Louis Zuri in our studio.
Speaker 1: So happy to be back home. What I don't even
Speaker 1: remember the last time I was here. I walked in
Speaker 1: the studio and there was like a setup for I
Speaker 1: think when I did the Bethany frankl podcast, I just
Speaker 1: like left it and there was a lot to do
Speaker 1: this morning to rearrange. UM. But I'm back and UM
Speaker 1: with me is Anya Noah An, Brian Frandy back again.
Speaker 1: You heard him yesterday. He's back and he's very close
Speaker 1: up to He's very close up to the video camera
Speaker 1: like he's you look like you're, you know, zooming with
Speaker 1: us from Ukraine. Lady Gaga at the Oscars with a
Speaker 1: weirdly close camera angle, did you oh wait, it was
Speaker 1: insane of her without makeup on. Yeah, but this it
Speaker 1: was like and now Lady Gaga. And then then it
Speaker 1: closes up way closer than anyone would ever think. And
Speaker 1: then it's just like it's like this, like her singing
Speaker 1: the whole time, like this just like in her, like
Speaker 1: her lips on her lips. I kind of like it.
Speaker 1: It was cool just have a so much filler in them.
Speaker 1: But she's not of that. I did see the clip
Speaker 1: of her helping that man up. Yeah, isn't that so
Speaker 1: nice of her doing a normal thing that I just
Speaker 1: last time? What did she do? Wasn't there some like
Speaker 1: old woman on stage with her or something or some
Speaker 1: old man. She was like, oh, yeah, okay, so what
Speaker 1: did she do with Liza? She just like was didn't
Speaker 1: kick her down the flight of stairs or something, and
Speaker 1: so we're all just shocked, Like I don't know which
Speaker 1: was flash cards coming. Gaga was like, I got you.
Speaker 1: She did it in a way that um was like,
Speaker 1: I am demonstrating to the rest of you celebrities that
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be nice to people like she did, like, look,
Speaker 1: I'm not just gonna walk past this man who tripped.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go and help him, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to do it in a way that hide. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: apparently she knew him, like she is, he's a photographer.
Speaker 1: She's familiar with him like that. My friend messaged me
Speaker 1: and was like she knows him and then did you
Speaker 1: see him? Like kind of pat her ass and she
Speaker 1: like didn't care for that. Did you see that aftermath
Speaker 1: of it? So she helps him and then he kind
Speaker 1: of like he's just like she's wearing this lit, very
Speaker 1: low back thing within like like a kind of like
Speaker 1: netting around it, so her like butt is kind of
Speaker 1: out but not and he kind of like pats her.
Speaker 1: I think he's he was just so confused, like embarrassed
Speaker 1: with what just happened. I think it's gonna be a
Speaker 1: new thing of photographers falling so that they can get
Speaker 1: attention and get this amazing shot. Because that was a
Speaker 1: huge That was a huge moment. People sold that footage.
Speaker 1: I mean that was a big thing. Can I just
Speaker 1: say another thing about Lady Gaga. There is a lawsuit
Speaker 1: against her by the woman who gave her dogs back.
Speaker 1: So Lady Gaga said, I will give five hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: I think there's a half million dollars for a return
Speaker 1: of my dogs safely, no questions asked. Now we all
Speaker 1: know what that is about. Like when someone says no
Speaker 1: questions asked, it's like, if you stole my dogs, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to prosecute you. Just give me my dogs back, right,
Speaker 1: Like this is a thing that is used with If
Speaker 1: I ever got my dog stolen, I would do a
Speaker 1: no questions asked too. I just want my dog back.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get you in trouble. You have
Speaker 1: to stay true to that in order for it to
Speaker 1: work for other people. So right now she's being sued
Speaker 1: by the woman who her stepson, I guess is the
Speaker 1: one who stole her dogs, and she found out and
Speaker 1: so she returned Lady Gaga's dogs. Now this woman is
Speaker 1: being charged with being an accomplice at some point, but
Speaker 1: she never got the five hundred thousand dollars. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: if you say, no questions asked, five hundred thousand dollars,
Speaker 1: you can't renag on that. You can't you You have
Speaker 1: to go through is it, no matter if they're the
Speaker 1: criminal or not. And I know it's not fair. I
Speaker 1: know everyone's like, how dare this woman sue? It was
Speaker 1: part of the that's how you get your dog back
Speaker 1: is that you promised five hundred thousand dollars, no questions asked.
Speaker 1: And now the boy who cried wolf No, no criminals
Speaker 1: are going to trust that now. So now people aren't
Speaker 1: going to get their dogs back when they say no
Speaker 1: questions asked, though kind of dogs, it doesn't matter. I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously designer fucking stupid dogs breathing issues, what targeted dogs
Speaker 1: that are worth a lot of money on the market.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's not just Lady Gaga's dogs, it's dogs
Speaker 1: of that breed. I forget what the breed it was. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, French bulled up. Yeah, this is the
Speaker 1: ones that have breathing issues because people like the way
Speaker 1: they look or whatever. It's really a cool practice that
Speaker 1: were If you have to, you're going to give a
Speaker 1: reward for your dogs back. You're gonna have to give caveats,
Speaker 1: like and this is not like the Lady Gaga situation. Yes,
Speaker 1: and that's a long poster. There's too many words. No
Speaker 1: one's gonna read it. And the FBI is going to
Speaker 1: be doing that now from now on. I mean, how
Speaker 1: are they gonna catch criminals? Well, everyone's so mad at
Speaker 1: this woman. How dare she asked for that? She was
Speaker 1: part of it? It's like, yeah, we know that was
Speaker 1: part of it. Is that's why you put no questions asked.
Speaker 1: If it was just an innocent person during in dogs,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't need to put that And so now you're
Speaker 1: going back on it. This isn't succession. You can't go
Speaker 1: back on everything you say that you're gonna do. What
Speaker 1: do you fucking Logan Roy? Stick to your word. Your
Speaker 1: word is gold. I'm annoyed by it, But every I
Speaker 1: think that I would have, I think that a lot
Speaker 1: of people would disagree with me. You know, in the
Speaker 1: Reddit threads I was reading, people are like, how dare
Speaker 1: this woman? She? You know, because she is now being
Speaker 1: charged with Oh, that's aiding and abetting them stealing the
Speaker 1: dogs because she maybe had a pardon it. It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter if she had a pardon in it. She returned
Speaker 1: the dog safely, she gets the half a million dollars.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but you know what they say, niggie, you
Speaker 1: can't make a tomelet without breaking some gregs. I yet,
Speaker 1: I get it. Maybe half a million dollars was a
Speaker 1: little bit over zealous. You know that sounds like an
Speaker 1: emotional number, not a logic, Like, I bet you they
Speaker 1: would have returned the dogs for like fifty thousand dollars
Speaker 1: and then she would have probably paid it. Yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I've five hundred thousand dollars version of Lady
Speaker 1: Gaga on her in her I'm doing an impression of
Speaker 1: Nikki doing it. Yeah, that's true. And what about the
Speaker 1: dog walker that got shot? Yeah, I mean that's the
Speaker 1: whole situation sucks, and uh, it was very upsetting. And
Speaker 1: it happened in Hollywood. Um, I have you know, like
Speaker 1: there's a my friend lives like right around the corner
Speaker 1: from here. It happened, and I'm frequently over there and
Speaker 1: I walked dog. It's a it's a rescue. Yeah. My
Speaker 1: dog is eleven year old Chihuahua mix that I don't
Speaker 1: think anybody would want to see. No, exactly, and that's
Speaker 1: why you did the right thing. You have a I'm
Speaker 1: sometimes my dad left the car door open when we
Speaker 1: were into the grocery store the other day and Luigi
Speaker 1: was in there, and I go lock it. He goes,
Speaker 1: no one wants this dog, and I go, that's a
Speaker 1: good point. I mean, Luigi is beautiful, but what a
Speaker 1: burden to You're not gonna resell Luigi unless you would
Speaker 1: want Luigi. I don't know, unless you knew about Luigi
Speaker 1: and how sweet he was first glance, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: want Luigi. Um, even though he's beautiful. But he's not
Speaker 1: gonna be Um. Yeah, he's not a commodity on the market.
Speaker 1: But um, speaking of dogs, I I've been messaging the
Speaker 1: shelter NonStop about this dog Huey that I saw on
Speaker 1: pet Finder, which is the tinder for you getting matched
Speaker 1: with an animal, and I found this little tild They
Speaker 1: won't write me back. I gotta call them today and
Speaker 1: maybe go to the shelter. I'm scared to go to
Speaker 1: the shelter because I don't want to see sad dogs.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see all the pit bulls that
Speaker 1: are just like sad in the corner or like I.
Speaker 1: That's why like rescues, they go in and they see
Speaker 1: the stuff and they get the dogs out. They I mean,
Speaker 1: that's why I always am so um reverential of rescues,
Speaker 1: because they do all they see all the stuff that
Speaker 1: I don't want to see, and then they they dress
Speaker 1: up the dog and they groom it and they get
Speaker 1: you know, fix it up. But they see horrible things
Speaker 1: that I just I don't know if I want to go,
Speaker 1: I will want to save them all. Um, did you
Speaker 1: get your dog from a rescue bran or did you
Speaker 1: go to the shelt Um? I got it from a
Speaker 1: rescue from the Real Bark, the Real Bark. There's a
Speaker 1: store called the Real Bark, and then the rescue is
Speaker 1: called Echo Bark. I'm pretty sure, okay, And uh yeah, no.
Speaker 1: I used to volunteer at an animal shelter and on
Speaker 1: Long Island and yeah, and uh it was it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's definitely really sad because there's just some dogs that
Speaker 1: just don't get adopted for whatever reason, and they're like
Speaker 1: amazing dogs and you go there and you walk them
Speaker 1: and they're like amazing, and uh, it just and they
Speaker 1: just sit there for for years and but they're so
Speaker 1: happy when you come walk them. They get to know you,
Speaker 1: like you're there. You would walk dogs, Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: go into the shelter, and you know, you can. You
Speaker 1: can volunteer to take the dogs out for walks, like
Speaker 1: you go like three days a week and you walk
Speaker 1: them around and or you and I also did like
Speaker 1: training where you can be a man that they attack
Speaker 1: if you get to wear that cool big suit. You
Speaker 1: wear a cool big suit and then you go in
Speaker 1: there and you get to dress like Brendan Frasier in
Speaker 1: the Whale. Yeah, it's a lot of process. I use
Speaker 1: the same exact suit actually that they're used in the
Speaker 1: Whale and the dog says, I didn't like that movie.
Speaker 1: And then they attack you, and that's pretty much the
Speaker 1: point of the hole. Then you have to give a
Speaker 1: speech at the end. Yeah, you have to look really unstable,
Speaker 1: Like I mean, poor Brendan Frasier. I'm happy everything's working
Speaker 1: for him, but when the fanfare like falls, when the
Speaker 1: fireworks are going up, there's fireworks and now the ashes
Speaker 1: are certain fault, there's gonna be this is a set.
Speaker 1: Someone should check in on Brendan Frasier this week. Yeah,
Speaker 1: next week actually, because this week is gonna be good.
Speaker 1: It's still gonna be like really exciting for him. But
Speaker 1: based on my own depression and when big things happen,
Speaker 1: and then it starts to just like everyone doesn't really
Speaker 1: care anymore because inevitably, no one cares anymore after you
Speaker 1: do anything in life, literally anything, especially women who are
Speaker 1: getting married. Anya not included because you are kind of,
Speaker 1: you know, level minded and Brian, Brian's getting married in June,
Speaker 1: Anna's getting married in July. No one's getting married at TBD.
Speaker 1: But like I always feel bad for women after weddings,
Speaker 1: like it's there's gonna be a fallout where no one
Speaker 1: cares about you anymore, and this whole thing that was
Speaker 1: your life planning is no longer there. And I think
Speaker 1: Brendan Frasier people do wellness check for sure on that
Speaker 1: unstable guy. And I'm calling him an unstable as someone
Speaker 1: who is unstable myself many times, and other people have
Speaker 1: called unstable online, so I get it. It's not it's
Speaker 1: not nice to do, but he is not. I can't
Speaker 1: watch his acceptance speech for the Oscars. It's just too
Speaker 1: it's too triggering of like, this guy is not well.
Speaker 1: There are so many whale metaphors too. If you listen,
Speaker 1: he wrote that speech with some nautical metaphor. Did he
Speaker 1: really yes? So it's it's hard to get swept up
Speaker 1: in the emotion of it because you're like, this is
Speaker 1: not off the top of his head, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: And yet there are tears, there's vocal quivering. Then he
Speaker 1: thinks his children, I think, and I'm like, I'm worried
Speaker 1: about his kids because their dad is not stable. They'll
Speaker 1: be fine. I mean, they're rich at least that. But
Speaker 1: everybody feeling somebody should do a wellness check on the
Speaker 1: photographer who fell. Next week, he's just gonna be a
Speaker 1: photographer again. I mean that's a really good point. I'm
Speaker 1: not the guy who fell anymore. But isn't that why
Speaker 1: people get like I really do. I used to have
Speaker 1: a joke about it, but people get let's just say
Speaker 1: people who have simpler lives, and simple is not It
Speaker 1: sounds negative, but you know, your wedding is like kind
Speaker 1: of the thing that you went you went to college
Speaker 1: to go find your husband, and then you get a
Speaker 1: husband and you get married, and then you have kids
Speaker 1: and then you get attention for that, and we're all
Speaker 1: seeking attention as someone I'm just saying, so I obviously
Speaker 1: seek attention. I found a way to get it, like
Speaker 1: fucking mainlined to my a order is that a fucking vein?
Speaker 1: But like women, you get what you do is you
Speaker 1: get in a relationship and then you go, oh my god,
Speaker 1: when is he gonna say I love you? Then he
Speaker 1: says I love you. Then you're like, when are you
Speaker 1: moving in together? Oh? We're moving in together. Oh exciting.
Speaker 1: Then you get engaged, Oh my god, we got engaged.
Speaker 1: Then you get married, Oh my god, we got married.
Speaker 1: And then you're like and then you're like, oh, now
Speaker 1: we're pregnant. Oh my god, I got pregnant. You have
Speaker 1: a kid, Oh my god, we got pregnant again. Another kid.
Speaker 1: Then you go and then you get divorced, and then
Speaker 1: you do it all over, like we need to keep
Speaker 1: getting because then and I do believe that, because i'd
Speaker 1: get do it. Every time I've finished something, I'm like,
Speaker 1: what's next. I can't celebrate it. It's just it's never enough.
Speaker 1: I need to go on to the next thing. Um.
Speaker 1: But I feel like you, guys, Brian, your fiance Ali.
Speaker 1: I don't know her that well, but just hearing you
Speaker 1: guys talk about the wedding, it doesn't seem like her
Speaker 1: life is like wedding and she's gonna be okay. She
Speaker 1: kind of has an identity beyond it. Well, I have
Speaker 1: a solution for you and all those people. I know.
Speaker 1: The answer is it. You gotta start. You gotta start
Speaker 1: planning your funeral. Yeah my god, I'll do a paperless post. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you find a caterer, you get a DJ, and then
Speaker 1: you know when the funeral happens, you're not going to
Speaker 1: have any postpartum depression. Oh my god. That says you'll
Speaker 1: be dead. Yeah, I'm gonna go on Tyler Henry's show
Speaker 1: when I'm deceased, and I'm gonna complain about how bored
Speaker 1: i am. Just to get more attention. I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: a press tour. Hey scribbling Tyler Henry. Wait a second,
Speaker 1: that's a really good point. Yeah, you go get a dress.
Speaker 1: You'll get a fitting, fitting for your funeral dress that
Speaker 1: you're gonna wear in your coffin. Yeah. I think about
Speaker 1: my death all the time, and I'm very like, I
Speaker 1: really did tell Chris because last week I had a
Speaker 1: really bad paparazzi photo, not paparazzi but like red carpet photo.
Speaker 1: I wish that guy would have fallen. I wish every
Speaker 1: single photographer who was taking pictures of me at ted
Speaker 1: Lasso would have fallen and it would have been blurry. Um.
Speaker 1: But I was really worried. It's still the it's still
Speaker 1: the most recent picture of me that's you know, Getty images,
Speaker 1: which sucks because I went to this thing over the
Speaker 1: weekend where I looked gorgeous, and I'm like, I'm refreshing.
Speaker 1: Getty constantly be like can I die? Because they're gonna
Speaker 1: pull the most recent and I need. I do, not
Speaker 1: that I plan on dying, but like I'm crossing streets
Speaker 1: a little bit more cautiously. I was a little bit
Speaker 1: worried on the plane plane yesterday, crash wise, because I
Speaker 1: even told Chris, I said, I'm not kidding you. If
Speaker 1: I die tragically, you cannot let them run the ted
Speaker 1: Lasso photos. You just can't. You gotta and I just
Speaker 1: need because I that's I mean, if you guys, you know, listeners,
Speaker 1: if you're not famous, you'll just pick out a picture
Speaker 1: right now that you put in your obituary, because that's
Speaker 1: gonna be the picture that they're gonna use. Like pick
Speaker 1: it out now you can, but I'm not gonna have
Speaker 1: control over it. If they don't use that picture, they're
Speaker 1: gonna use your graduation photo or the most recent photo
Speaker 1: of you, which is bullshit for old people. If you're
Speaker 1: an old person and you don't like the way you
Speaker 1: look right now, you better tell your family and friends
Speaker 1: this is the picture I like of myself from nineteen
Speaker 1: seventy seven. Use this because this was just as much
Speaker 1: me as this old woman or what old man is
Speaker 1: right now. Like I used to get upset because you know,
Speaker 1: when Barbara Bush died. I'm like, can we get one
Speaker 1: picture of her in her twenties? Did she was she
Speaker 1: ever in her twenties or did she always look like
Speaker 1: she was born in nineteen twenty, Like every single photo
Speaker 1: of her is I've never known her to look young.
Speaker 1: But the opposite. I think it's sad when someone dies
Speaker 1: and they're at ninety and then they only use like
Speaker 1: the twenty year old picture of them. It's like they
Speaker 1: had seventy years after that. You can't find a flat
Speaker 1: I don't like the picture of them when they're like
Speaker 1: ninety in a wheelchair and they're just like they look
Speaker 1: like that they should be. You know, remember on Today's
Speaker 1: show used to do like celebrate one hundred year olds
Speaker 1: birthdays when they would flash the picture and it would
Speaker 1: always it was always people who didn't know there was
Speaker 1: a picture being taken of them. It just looked like
Speaker 1: they're just like staring in the corner or their senile
Speaker 1: they're losing their mind, Like don't use that photo, like
Speaker 1: and use a pretty picture of them. But I get
Speaker 1: what you're saying. On you like, they have a full
Speaker 1: life after that. Just pick your picture that you want,
Speaker 1: run because we're all gonna die and if you want
Speaker 1: to have a nice little photo spread and like local
Speaker 1: newspaper which no one reads because everything's digital, Like pick
Speaker 1: out your photo. I have a playlist for my you know,
Speaker 1: funeral of like when you show the slide show, I
Speaker 1: do want you know, I hope you had the time
Speaker 1: of your life. I do want that. It really worked
Speaker 1: in the Seinfeld finale. It was also played at the
Speaker 1: funeral of my friend and it really brought down the
Speaker 1: house in terms of tears. I just think it's gonna
Speaker 1: be a good one. I would like to use that.
Speaker 1: I want to say that I want to use in
Speaker 1: my life. The Beatles. I would like that one to
Speaker 1: be a part of it. The slideshow is gonna be
Speaker 1: pretty long. It's gonna be about seven songs. I gonna
Speaker 1: run out of photos I have. She's a jar clocked also, yeah,
Speaker 1: she's a jar. That's gonna happen. That might be like
Speaker 1: the procession when my dad walks me down the aisle
Speaker 1: um with a casket. Oh my god, just E j
Speaker 1: are going to do a first dance too? After that? Well, Pa,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I saw something on Reddit last night
Speaker 1: where people thought there was a fire because there's this
Speaker 1: black smoke like flying in the like just huge plumes
Speaker 1: of black smoke. And so this person, you know, went
Speaker 1: to go find the source of it to be like,
Speaker 1: what's burning down? And it was a crematorium and they
Speaker 1: usually burn bodies at night so you can't see it,
Speaker 1: but this was like they were backed up or something.
Speaker 1: So you just saw the black smoke in the air.
Speaker 1: Isn't that fucking scary? I don't even think about that, Yes, dude,
Speaker 1: but we know in the in memorium at the Oscars,
Speaker 1: did you watch that? Left off a lot of people?
Speaker 1: I heard, Yeah, any do you? How do you leave off?
Speaker 1: An hash? And UM's dad? And then there was one
Speaker 1: other guy, the woman who was killed in the movie
Speaker 1: that Alex Baldwin was in one job? Oh, Helena Hutchins.
Speaker 1: Well she died, was she maybe in the last one?
Speaker 1: Because she died in um September or something of twenty
Speaker 1: twenty one. Okay, Um, well, we have a lot to
Speaker 1: talk about, including um more Oscar thoughts. We're gonna go
Speaker 1: to break. We're back. We're here with Brian Franjie on
Speaker 1: your Marina and uh and we'll be back right after this. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're back, Um I just last night got into the
Speaker 1: Duh Murders say that name Murdo no series. I had
Speaker 1: to wait for Alec Murdoch to say his own name,
Speaker 1: and he says, Aleck Murder. It's it's Murdoch Murder Murder.
Speaker 1: Uh did you watch it? Noah? Have you seen it? No?
Speaker 1: But I've seen like stuff you know about? Yeah, stuff
Speaker 1: on it. It's not that good. Sorry, everyone loved it.
Speaker 1: I mean I was a little bit. Listen. I watched
Speaker 1: all three episodes, but by the end I was just
Speaker 1: it was fine. Um, it was interesting, but I think
Speaker 1: that they didn't spend enough time on like I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I don't know how he did it. Did
Speaker 1: he hire a hitman to kill his wife and son
Speaker 1: or did he do it? What do we think? I
Speaker 1: think he did it? He did it? You think I
Speaker 1: think I think he did it. I think his son
Speaker 1: was recording him, because he was probably fighting with his wife.
Speaker 1: His son recorded him. And then why do you know that?
Speaker 1: What is that? Where does that come? The sun has
Speaker 1: a video of his father talking to his mother angrily,
Speaker 1: and they won't tell us what's in the video, but
Speaker 1: it was about it was killed. Yes, Oh, well, maybe
Speaker 1: I didn't finish it. Okay, right, did you see Murda, Bryan?
Speaker 1: I didn't see it. No. I mean this is the
Speaker 1: every time you ask me if I saw something. I
Speaker 1: do watch things. No, I know it's okay, but I
Speaker 1: did in your backyard. Yeah, this week Possom Cam, don't
Speaker 1: have time to watch. I'm on the fifth season of
Speaker 1: Possom Cam now, and I gotta say it's really it's
Speaker 1: really gone downhill since Theosom season. The possum's not moving
Speaker 1: the whole time. It's pretty stagnant. Oh my god, wait
Speaker 1: for it, he wakes up. Oh yeah, Oh, there's a
Speaker 1: huge twist the finale. Um. But anyway, I watched Murdass
Speaker 1: last night. When I got home, I just got a
Speaker 1: new couch and it is so awesome. I was like,
Speaker 1: I've never wanted to, like sleep on my couch. I'm
Speaker 1: not someone who ever would sleep on a couch. I
Speaker 1: think it's uncomfortable. I don't get it, but this is
Speaker 1: like a bed couch. Instead of freezing my eggs, I
Speaker 1: bought a couch. I spent six thousand dollars on a
Speaker 1: fucking couch that by the way, I got this couch
Speaker 1: because my friend Sarahlena has this couch. I went to
Speaker 1: her house, I saw her couch and I was like,
Speaker 1: I already ordered Kurston's couch. By the way, I only
Speaker 1: get things for my house that like other people have,
Speaker 1: and I trust that my friends who have good taste,
Speaker 1: I just go, okay, I'll get that right, Like I
Speaker 1: don't have taste in my own. So I got Kurston's
Speaker 1: couch and then I went to Sara Lena's and I
Speaker 1: was like, cancel the order. This is the couch. And
Speaker 1: also Sarahlene was like, girl, this couch is thirty two
Speaker 1: hundred dollars. I just got this. And I'm like, this
Speaker 1: couch was thirty two hundred dollars. Mind you. She got
Speaker 1: the floor sample and she got like a huge discount
Speaker 1: for some reason. I think it's because she is a supermodel.
Speaker 1: It's just like she was just like, girl, you got
Speaker 1: and she just like is a savvy consumer. So she
Speaker 1: just got a disc like she's just good. And then
Speaker 1: I order it and it's six house dollars, just like
Speaker 1: how did I how did this happen? I know I
Speaker 1: had delivery fee. She like found a flatbed truck and
Speaker 1: had some guy deliver it probably for free, like I
Speaker 1: had to just you know, Um, but it is worth it.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful. It's too big for my living room. It
Speaker 1: should be an u multi multimillion dollar home that has
Speaker 1: a lot of space. So it's like a couch for
Speaker 1: like a rich person in a you know, fairly modest
Speaker 1: tiptoeing around it, like trying to get your body around it,
Speaker 1: and it's just huge. It's too big for the room
Speaker 1: for sure. It just looks it. It's it's nice though,
Speaker 1: but it's so cozy. Um, Chris and I will never
Speaker 1: have to touch each other again on the couch. That's
Speaker 1: nice for him. Old pillow fort he built up. He
Speaker 1: builds a fort of pillows between us at night. Brian. Um,
Speaker 1: that's just a thing like that he does. Um, I
Speaker 1: have to like sneak my hand through the pillows like
Speaker 1: a weird like a British garden snake through the rocks
Speaker 1: to like to access him. And then um, so yeah,
Speaker 1: he'll he'll enjoy that hand. We got a bed couch
Speaker 1: by this name, you know. Yeah, and me and my
Speaker 1: fiance Ali, we sleep in different in separate beds. You
Speaker 1: have sleep app in the air or what's happened. No,
Speaker 1: we just don't want to be in the same bed.
Speaker 1: We want to sleep were next to each other, same
Speaker 1: beds like some people put double beds together, like and
Speaker 1: I love Lucy where they're just like Lucy and no, no no, no,
Speaker 1: like sleep like you they're they're touching, but they're separate units.
Speaker 1: So that when you know, we have separate beds, separate rooms,
Speaker 1: separate rooms, rooms, and we have separate couches. Wait, do
Speaker 1: you just not live together? Is that what we're just?
Speaker 1: Did you sing? Here? I live in Tennessee and she
Speaker 1: lives in Nebraska, So that's a weird way to say that.
Speaker 1: It's a long distance relationship relationship. I've never actually met her,
Speaker 1: you know, she h saw pictures online. No, No, we
Speaker 1: have separate beds, separate rooms, and it's wonderful. How did
Speaker 1: you get to that? Did it start that way? Do
Speaker 1: you know? I lived with your boyfriend's brother, Tim. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And the moment that he said we decided to be roommates,
Speaker 1: I said, I laid down the ground rules. One of
Speaker 1: the first things I ever said to Tim was we
Speaker 1: are getting separate dishes. When if your dishes are dirty
Speaker 1: in the sink, not my problem. I'm gonna have clean dishes.
Speaker 1: And then we had separate dishes the whole time, and
Speaker 1: we never thought about dishes. So then when my mouth moved,
Speaker 1: when I moved, when we moved in together, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know who to say. I didn't move on
Speaker 1: with the hers. She didn't move with me moving together. Um,
Speaker 1: I said, we're doing separate beds, and she's like really,
Speaker 1: And I was like, you don't understand. It makes everything
Speaker 1: so much better. We both have different sleep schedules. We
Speaker 1: sleep differently. Jack sleeps in the bed that my dog,
Speaker 1: and it works out great, works out great. He doesn't
Speaker 1: have a separate bed, so he's Jack sleeps save dishes. Um,
Speaker 1: what's this sleep schedule? Still can't talk? What's their sleep schedule?
Speaker 1: Anya has temporary veneers. By the way, So if you
Speaker 1: hear her slurring, it's because wanting to kill herself. Um.
Speaker 1: I generally wake up early, and um, if Ali's not
Speaker 1: going to work, she'll still sleep in late. And um, yeah,
Speaker 1: like on the weekend, she likes to sleep in and
Speaker 1: I like to wake up early and start running the house. Okay,
Speaker 1: let me just let me just throw some lobs some
Speaker 1: questions your way. Or just lobs some things that like,
Speaker 1: because I'm on board with this, I listen. I'm someone
Speaker 1: who doesn't like commitment. I don't want even want to
Speaker 1: live with my partner yet, Like I it just seems
Speaker 1: like too much. It's kind of scary. I probably would
Speaker 1: do the same thing. I want Chris to like move
Speaker 1: into my building and live near me, like, but I
Speaker 1: do like after we like when we go to bed
Speaker 1: and we, um, you know, do our thing, which is
Speaker 1: just do the crossword puzzle together, no, like instead of sex.
Speaker 1: Right now, I would say mostly most of our time
Speaker 1: in bed, Chris and I are playing spelling bee or
Speaker 1: wordle or crossword puzzles. But spelling bee is our new
Speaker 1: thing and I got on you into it too. The
Speaker 1: New York Times spelling Bee it's like boggle, but it's
Speaker 1: really fun anyway. It's it's so hard and it's fun.
Speaker 1: But um, that's what we usually do. We play spelling
Speaker 1: bee separately, and then we share our words that we found,
Speaker 1: and then we reach genius level and then we feel
Speaker 1: accomplished and then we I sneak my hand through the snake.
Speaker 1: I kind of I go, I'm gonna get it, and
Speaker 1: then he goes don't get it, and then we kind
Speaker 1: of giggle and then we go to sleep. I enjoy.
Speaker 1: I enjoy in the middle of the night, Like if
Speaker 1: I go to the bathroom, when I come back, he's
Speaker 1: I guess he's not like a He's a really heavy sleeper,
Speaker 1: so if he wakes up, he kind of just goes
Speaker 1: like and he like sticks his head up and he
Speaker 1: like just like gives me his lips and I just
Speaker 1: like give him a kiss, and then we go back
Speaker 1: to sleep. I like those like intimate moments in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I
Speaker 1: like to like watch his back like rise and fall
Speaker 1: as he breathes, like I kind of like, I like.
Speaker 1: But then I also fucking hate that I can't like
Speaker 1: sprawl out and like put my leg up in a
Speaker 1: different way that I want, and that I can't listen
Speaker 1: to my phone without my air bots in because it's
Speaker 1: hurts your ears when you sleep on the airpot and
Speaker 1: so I would like to just have the speaker phone
Speaker 1: next to my head, which is what I do when
Speaker 1: I sleep. So there are benefits to both. Do you
Speaker 1: feel like you're lacking in any way when you can't
Speaker 1: share a bed and do you have a separate bed
Speaker 1: for hanky panky or whose bed do you go to? Well,
Speaker 1: that was a that's a great point about the earbuds
Speaker 1: because I listened to a podcast to go to bed
Speaker 1: every night. I need. I need somebody's talking in order
Speaker 1: to fall asleep. I can't. I need a bedtime story basically,
Speaker 1: and it has to be you know, sometimes I listen
Speaker 1: to a podcast at night and it's too interesting and
Speaker 1: then I'm two hours and I'm like, yes, one succession
Speaker 1: I was. I couldn't. I was choosing that over sleeping. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I need a podcast that's like, I need Sam Harris
Speaker 1: podcast because it's so dense. I try to pay attention
Speaker 1: and then my brain starts getting tired because I'm trying
Speaker 1: to figure out what the like He's using the word
Speaker 1: partitioned a lot, like I just there's words that I
Speaker 1: just am like so overwhelmed by that. It's so dense
Speaker 1: that I feel like it makes me fall asleep because
Speaker 1: my brain gets tired trying to keep up with it.
Speaker 1: And then Stuff you Should Know is also a good
Speaker 1: podcast to listen to because those guys have gentle voices.
Speaker 1: Do you recommend any what podcast is do you listen
Speaker 1: to to fall asleep? I need just anyone's I have
Speaker 1: not found one that consistently makes me fall asleep. Every
Speaker 1: time I think there's a boring podcast, all of a
Speaker 1: sudden they come out with a banger episode that keeps
Speaker 1: me up all night because I can't sleep. I'm like,
Speaker 1: wait to say that. Sometimes I'll listen to like fantasy
Speaker 1: football podcasts where they're just like listing out players and
Speaker 1: that I can fall asleep too, usually because it's like okay,
Speaker 1: they're just like this player is pretty fast, and then
Speaker 1: this player is slow, and then what about this player? Well,
Speaker 1: here's a tone of voices is so important. Like I
Speaker 1: just found this ASMR video that is crushing it for me.
Speaker 1: I want to just direct people to it if they
Speaker 1: need something to listen to to fall asleep too, And
Speaker 1: it might creep you out because you're not into ASMR,
Speaker 1: but if you, if you are, this is the this
Speaker 1: is the one to do. It's um. Her name is
Speaker 1: Astro seven seven seven. She only has like she doesn't
Speaker 1: have that many followers. Astro astros Space Glow seven seven seven.
Speaker 1: Glow seven seven seven is one and you listen to
Speaker 1: asmar magazine flipping soft spoken boom it. I cannot get
Speaker 1: through it. I have listened to it when I am
Speaker 1: wide awake. It I have not gotten past every time
Speaker 1: I go, oh my god, this is the last part
Speaker 1: I remember, and then I make it maybe one more
Speaker 1: sentence and then I'm out and it's um. It's worked
Speaker 1: for me now probably like seven times. There's also a
Speaker 1: ted talk about like loving yourself by this like Irish
Speaker 1: woman that I can't get that board. Oh yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 1: this isn't working for me. So there's some okay, so
Speaker 1: that the roofies you into sleep, Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: If there's something just so soothing about it, there's something
Speaker 1: about it that just it's like a lullaby. It's like
Speaker 1: the it's just being talked to. I have a theory
Speaker 1: that people who like Asmar didn't get enough love from
Speaker 1: their mother as a child in terms of like they
Speaker 1: were just stressed out as a child and they didn't
Speaker 1: get like a comforting like voice that like made them
Speaker 1: feel safe, or they did and it was like the
Speaker 1: thing they hung Like my grandma used to like rub
Speaker 1: my back and talk like really softly, and it was
Speaker 1: really like I would only get it you know, once
Speaker 1: every two weeks when I saw her, So I was
Speaker 1: always like Jones and for it and not that my
Speaker 1: mom is like not a loving person. She is, but
Speaker 1: she just isn't like a soft spoken like things are okay,
Speaker 1: Like I would just hear them like singing in the
Speaker 1: in the next room like Fleetwood Mac and it would
Speaker 1: just be like loud and annoying. Um, so okay, back
Speaker 1: to your sleeping situation. Um, can we talk about, um, uh,
Speaker 1: what you do for sexual relations and who's bad you
Speaker 1: choose and then how you guys like go like, uh,
Speaker 1: see you tomorrow, Like how do you like get her
Speaker 1: out of there? Um, I'll leave, I'll leave after and
Speaker 1: go into my room and you'll leave before begins. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what this is for me? She's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm good, thanks, but I got to get to my podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I oh, there's something else. I'm not changing the subject,
Speaker 1: but I wanted to go back to, uh, what you
Speaker 1: were just saying, which now I forgot you were just
Speaker 1: saying so that it affects me, Like when I'm on
Speaker 1: the subway train, I'd zone out all the time. And
Speaker 1: it's interesting that you say that because I did feel
Speaker 1: like I uh, you know, I have a great mom,
Speaker 1: but I didn't get a lot of I don't think
Speaker 1: we're not very like touchy. You know, there's not like
Speaker 1: a lot of hugging and stuff going on. That's interesting theory.
Speaker 1: And Molly Shannon has it, and I read Molly Shannon.
Speaker 1: Molly Shan was the first celebrity I saw to come
Speaker 1: out about ASMAR because when I first had it, it
Speaker 1: was really shameful that I liked. This thing is almost
Speaker 1: like pornography, because it's like these videos are so weird.
Speaker 1: It was just this community of like weirdos, and we
Speaker 1: didn't talk about it outside of it, and there would
Speaker 1: be videos about how to come out to your parents
Speaker 1: as having ASMR, like it was a weird thing and
Speaker 1: culturally accepted. But I remember Smilly Shannon was the first
Speaker 1: person on Conan. She talked about having ASMR and liking
Speaker 1: listening to people like brush people's hair or something, and
Speaker 1: that's not my trigger, but sometimes it is. And then
Speaker 1: I read her book and her mom died when she
Speaker 1: was four, and she never got maternal affection and like
Speaker 1: and consistent, like if you didn't feel safe as a child,
Speaker 1: like I was always scared of monsters and my parents.
Speaker 1: I would go like I'm scared, and they would just
Speaker 1: be like, go back to bed. There was there was
Speaker 1: never any like relief from it. I don't know why
Speaker 1: I would would have done in their shoes. They did
Speaker 1: the best they could and they weren't like dismissive of
Speaker 1: my feelings. But I just didn't ever feel I was
Speaker 1: always fearful going to bed like I was in you know,
Speaker 1: I was in a war zone or something like. It
Speaker 1: was just constantly like shivering under the covers. But I
Speaker 1: didn't want to be two under the covers because I
Speaker 1: would get hot, and then I didn't want to expose
Speaker 1: my skin because then the axe murderer could like chop
Speaker 1: off my arm, but the blanket would protect me from
Speaker 1: the axe. So yeah, that's interesting. I think there might
Speaker 1: be a correlation there. Someone more with a science brain
Speaker 1: should look into it. I do also want to say
Speaker 1: that your triggers why subway, Uh well, the camera where
Speaker 1: you this thing where you're like putting your hands close
Speaker 1: to the camera lens and like it covers like the
Speaker 1: top two corners of the lens. That uh, that triggers me.
Speaker 1: And then the droning what the lens when they when
Speaker 1: they when they cover up the lens. Wait wait and
Speaker 1: then they do no, no, no, I think he's just talking.
Speaker 1: This is separate. This is like the videos you watch
Speaker 1: on it on YouTube. Yes, and they'll be like they'll
Speaker 1: just this stuff. There's just hand moved. So that's like, oh,
Speaker 1: like brushing, like do you like the sounds of brushing
Speaker 1: or you like the visuals pett for some reason, like
Speaker 1: you're looking at it and it's just like you'll see
Speaker 1: some ASMR videos where they're like constantly moving their hands
Speaker 1: across the camera sting. That's why I like it. It's
Speaker 1: so much like porn because there are so many different
Speaker 1: ways to get off with an ASMR brain Like that
Speaker 1: would never do it for me. Whispering really haunts me.
Speaker 1: When be there like hi everyone, welcome back, and they
Speaker 1: like click their fingers or they like tap on something,
Speaker 1: I'm just like stop. It's like it's miss aphonia, like
Speaker 1: it hurts my ears. But then a woman just being
Speaker 1: like I really like Zoey Kravitz's outfit here. It's like
Speaker 1: I like how it's simple and the khakis pair with
Speaker 1: the white shirt really like perfectly, and I just I
Speaker 1: don't know, I think she's really cool, and then they'd
Speaker 1: turn the page. I'm just like, like, my brain is coming.
Speaker 1: You guys feel right good? Or does it just soothe you?
Speaker 1: Or does it produce an actual Like there's definitely a
Speaker 1: chemical reaction going off. It feels when I can trigger it. Brand.
Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but I it's like coming
Speaker 1: a lot like it. Honestly, you have to like kind
Speaker 1: of stay away from asmar for a little bit too,
Speaker 1: because you I think most people who are into asmar
Speaker 1: at this point, if you've been doing it more than
Speaker 1: a year, you have burnt out your asmar like the
Speaker 1: real where it floods down your like it's like a
Speaker 1: spinal t like it floods down your spine. It starts
Speaker 1: in your head kind of tingles, and it's kind of
Speaker 1: like goes. It's it's like a brain work that but
Speaker 1: I only have that one someone is talking right above
Speaker 1: my head. But then it's like a physical thing and
Speaker 1: I go oh, and it's like amazing feeling but tickly.
Speaker 1: But that's the only time I gets it's not that bad. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's sexual. I feel like that can be almost sexual
Speaker 1: because it's like a tickle. Asmar never feels like like
Speaker 1: Brian do agree. Asmar doesn't feel like something like whoa
Speaker 1: like a roller coaster, it's posts quitus. Yes, it's like okays.
Speaker 1: After you have finished, you are laying there and you're
Speaker 1: just like I nothing, uh, you know, you don't really
Speaker 1: you don't want to talk frequently, you might fall asleep,
Speaker 1: and it is just kind of like this zoned out
Speaker 1: like what I want to do. And this is why
Speaker 1: it's bad that happens on the subway for me, is
Speaker 1: what I wind up doing is I am just staring
Speaker 1: into space at nothing and I and I can't break me. Yes,
Speaker 1: as soon as I break the gays, then it's over
Speaker 1: and I don't want to be over. So I'm just
Speaker 1: like zoned out staring. And then sometimes there's like a guy.
Speaker 1: I hope I never do it when there's like some
Speaker 1: like a woman across me, but when I check myself.
Speaker 1: But when if there's like an old man with a
Speaker 1: newspaper and he's like, what the hell is this guy
Speaker 1: looking at out my percentage of the time does this
Speaker 1: happen to you too? When you're listening to Asmar one
Speaker 1: hundred zero zero For me, now like it's maybe I
Speaker 1: get triggered because I I'll wean myself off, so I'll
Speaker 1: just listen to podcast for a while to soothe myself
Speaker 1: to sleep, so I won't do Asmar videos. For a while,
Speaker 1: I was watching the eating Asmar videos and that gives
Speaker 1: me a soothing feeling. Like let me just say, like,
Speaker 1: for me now Asmar videos, most of the time, it's
Speaker 1: like having sex but not coming, like it feels good.
Speaker 1: And let me just say, most of the time, women
Speaker 1: don't need to come from sex, like I'm fine not coming,
Speaker 1: Like I think that men get in their head that
Speaker 1: like we need to come every time because you do,
Speaker 1: because it's like what would be the point of just like,
Speaker 1: but women can have fun and feel good during sex
Speaker 1: and we do want to come, but like sometimes trust us,
Speaker 1: if we are like we don't need to, it still
Speaker 1: feels good. So for me now I think ASMR is
Speaker 1: like it's intimacy. It's it feels like intimacy. But then
Speaker 1: there are times where I've staved myself for a while
Speaker 1: and I will get hit by of I'll just go
Speaker 1: into my YouTube and like find a new kind of trigger,
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, it's like whoa, and it
Speaker 1: lasts probably I don't know, like it lasts like twenty
Speaker 1: seconds for like the good, good feeling, and then it
Speaker 1: kind of just then you're in that numb state where
Speaker 1: you're like and then I probably fall asleep because I'm
Speaker 1: so relaxed. It's like it's the feeling of safety, warmth.
Speaker 1: It's like all it's the best feeling in the world
Speaker 1: next to orgasm. Like it's it's right up there with it,
Speaker 1: and I'm so lucky that I have it. But um, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's um. I definitely think it's due to mothers who
Speaker 1: are not that or children who felt distressed and sought
Speaker 1: like just a comforting voice like this. But I don't
Speaker 1: like when they try too hard, Like it's almost like
Speaker 1: the same way I look at porn. I don't like
Speaker 1: porn where the girl's like like, it's so obvious that
Speaker 1: you're acting. I mean, I think most people don't like that.
Speaker 1: I don't know why it's such a huge part of
Speaker 1: porn then for everyone to be like, like, why is
Speaker 1: that a part of it? Who likes that sounds like
Speaker 1: a baby crying listen, Well, I think they know what
Speaker 1: they're doing, and so I wanted to be natural. I
Speaker 1: wanted to be like a woman flipping through magazine the
Speaker 1: way she would if she were just like if her
Speaker 1: like her nephew was sitting like in the crook of
Speaker 1: her arm, and she was just trying to like, let's
Speaker 1: get ready to go to bed, and like talking softly
Speaker 1: but not trying too hard. I don't like when people
Speaker 1: are like tapping things too much. I'm like, would you
Speaker 1: just tap normally like that? No, Like, stop putting on
Speaker 1: a performance. I don't want it to be performative, much
Speaker 1: like I don't want to stand up to be performative.
Speaker 1: I don't like performative when things are opposed to be real,
Speaker 1: if that makes any sense. Yeah, Like I don't like
Speaker 1: I don't like Broadway shows. This is why I don't
Speaker 1: like Broadway. It is too locked into performative. There's no
Speaker 1: there's for me. There's just no. Um. Well, Broadway shows
Speaker 1: are like supposed to be the opposite of real. It's
Speaker 1: supposed to be as far away from real. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: But like I sometimes people say like, like Broadway shows
Speaker 1: are cheesy, and I'm like, yeah, that's the whole point.
Speaker 1: They're supposed to be. Yes, totally um, And I think
Speaker 1: I enjoy a Broadway show, you just have to go
Speaker 1: in knowing, like it's like when you're watching a reality show.
Speaker 1: It's like embarrassing to watch people act sometimes, and like
Speaker 1: even if it's like that, what's that one play that's
Speaker 1: like my four Sons or like all my Sons, what's
Speaker 1: the one that like all the best actors are in.
Speaker 1: You guys know what I'm talking about. Someone knows what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about, but like watching like stay, yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: it's about thank you San, that's my four Sons. I'm
Speaker 1: not kidding you think yeah, and it's like a yeah,
Speaker 1: mean Dad Sons salesman. Yes. And I saw Brian Dennihee
Speaker 1: in that, and like the Saint Louis like traveling production. Wow.
Speaker 1: I just remember being like this is awkward. He's just
Speaker 1: like we know you're acting. It's like I need it's
Speaker 1: just like right here and you're like and then they
Speaker 1: bow at the end and they're like break character, and
Speaker 1: it's just kind of embarrassing. Even though I'm dying to
Speaker 1: be in a musical at some point then I do
Speaker 1: love musicals. Have you ever seen a Lady in the Fountain?
Speaker 1: Lady in the Fountain? Was that I think a Phantom
Speaker 1: of the Opera, A mask man, half mask man. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: but uh yeah, I just um, ASMR needed to be real.
Speaker 1: Um wait, so what was I gonna say? Um? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you your bed habits. Can I say something about
Speaker 1: the window habits? Yeah? Please? Um, there's a real There's
Speaker 1: another reason why we can't sleep in the same bed
Speaker 1: is because frequently I'll wake up in the middle of
Speaker 1: the night screaming. Yeah, I'll be screaming, and I've done
Speaker 1: it this week because I'm afraid. I have a lot
Speaker 1: of well it's anxiety, and I think it's it's connected
Speaker 1: to ASMR too. I think people with high anxiety can
Speaker 1: experience the ASMR better because they need to chill. But
Speaker 1: like this weekend, I was, I was, I was afraid
Speaker 1: that the man, that the man next door is going
Speaker 1: to come attack me, and so I wake up screaming.
Speaker 1: And you know, there was one time when I was
Speaker 1: in college, I lived in a house with four other people,
Speaker 1: and one time I woke up and in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night screaming because I thought I saw a
Speaker 1: demon in the top right corner, like and it looks
Speaker 1: like a black, large hornet flattening. And you know that
Speaker 1: moment people have, Yes, you know that moment when you're
Speaker 1: like are about to wake up, but you're still asleep
Speaker 1: and so you're like semi aware. Well, that happened to me.
Speaker 1: I saw the demon hornet in the corner out of
Speaker 1: my bed, screaming, and I ran through the house screaming.
Speaker 1: And when did you realize you were screaming running through
Speaker 1: the house and there wasn't a hornet? Like there was.
Speaker 1: It dawned on you at some point and then you
Speaker 1: would like, slow down your pace. I heard the one
Speaker 1: my roommate go shut the fuck up, and I woke
Speaker 1: you up out of it. Yeah, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that was like, no, you don't understand there's a hornet.
Speaker 1: I understood immediately that there was no hornet, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, oh sorry, and then I went back
Speaker 1: to sleep. God, your mind betrays you. Everyone has this
Speaker 1: where you're like, our mind hijacks us and convinces us
Speaker 1: of something that's just not real and not happening. Yes,
Speaker 1: and that's dreaming. Is like people Sam Harris, I like,
Speaker 1: oh that. He always says people are scared to do
Speaker 1: psychedelics and they're like, where it's my mind going to
Speaker 1: see or they're scared to do. I guess it's like this,
Speaker 1: the fear of doing psychedelics, and he goes every single
Speaker 1: night you go to sleep, and your brain enters into
Speaker 1: a world that you have no conscious control of, that
Speaker 1: you are going, that you literally think you're in. You
Speaker 1: are in a hallucination every single night of your fucking life.
Speaker 1: What are you scared of? It's sleep is no different
Speaker 1: than tripping. It's just and you No one goes to
Speaker 1: I mean there unless you're in Freddy Krueger movies or
Speaker 1: unless you know. I think that there are people that
Speaker 1: are scared to go to sleep because they have to
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning and like get up and
Speaker 1: like I'm scared of sleeping. Sometimes not because of dreams.
Speaker 1: I'm just scared of like I know this day, the
Speaker 1: next time over my eyes will be like work, I
Speaker 1: have to do it. Um. I'm not someone who um yeah,
Speaker 1: like you never. I never fear dreaming. If anything, I'm
Speaker 1: always looking forward to it. But to do hallucinogens, I'm
Speaker 1: terrified of that, of like what hornets are going to
Speaker 1: chase me? And that thing? Even though every time I
Speaker 1: fall asleep I'm bound to see something like I would say,
Speaker 1: once a week, I have a scary dream, but I'm
Speaker 1: not fearful all the time. Um. So, I just think
Speaker 1: that's interesting that we do surrender to this thing that
Speaker 1: we literally have no idea why it happens, how it happens.
Speaker 1: Science like has not broken it yet. We enter into
Speaker 1: that and we're not totally terrified. We don't judge it.
Speaker 1: But a hallucin like you know LSD and people are
Speaker 1: just like you know, there's so much stigma around that.
Speaker 1: Have you ever done hallucinogens? Brian No, And I am
Speaker 1: one of the people that's scared of it. The only
Speaker 1: drug I've done is is weed, and uh, every other
Speaker 1: drug I'm really scared of And like, um, that's sound
Speaker 1: really uncool. I'm just done. I've done doing weed is funny. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that just shows how I'm not cool, Okay, and
Speaker 1: I am not cool, and I'm proud of it. Thought
Speaker 1: you were kind of cool? Yeah you're cool. The possum
Speaker 1: stories cool is fun? Cool? Think it's good to be cool?
Speaker 1: I don't think it's good. What Okay, we have to
Speaker 1: take a break. We have to hear why being cool
Speaker 1: is not cool to Brian Francis clear to get back. Okay, Brian,
Speaker 1: we're back. Why is being cool not cool? Well, I
Speaker 1: think people that are are being cool are generally trying
Speaker 1: too hard to put on some kind of persona that
Speaker 1: isn't real, and it makes them, it makes them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: ok I listen to the podcast. There's actually there's two.
Speaker 1: There's one thing that I'm that I need clarification on. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: So you used to say very frequently, uh, Noah is
Speaker 1: in Arizona, And I didn't listen to the episode where
Speaker 1: that was that became a thing. So I want to know,
Speaker 1: is Noah in Arizona or are you saying, like there
Speaker 1: there's a city in is it Arizona? She lives in Arizona? Okay?
Speaker 1: And it was just yeah, it just sounds cool, but
Speaker 1: it's it's just true. When I heard that, I looked
Speaker 1: it up and it turns out there is a city
Speaker 1: in Arizona named Noah. Stop oh it has an H
Speaker 1: at the end. But I was like, maybe that's what
Speaker 1: they're saying. You're like, maybe there was like a thing
Speaker 1: about Noah Arizona. Yeah, And it's like as if you
Speaker 1: were saying, like and if you had a if your
Speaker 1: podcast producer was named Cleveland. If you're like in Cleveland's
Speaker 1: in Ohio, it would be like the same thing. That's funny.
Speaker 1: I thought it was that joke. Well, thanks for doing
Speaker 1: that research and making the making that thing any more
Speaker 1: than what it was than just a factual statement that
Speaker 1: Noah actually lives in Arizona. Brian. I mean this is
Speaker 1: pretty much because what you're talking about, like, anyone who's
Speaker 1: cool has put an effort to be cool. Therefore it
Speaker 1: makes it uncool, yes, and it makes them less happy
Speaker 1: because now they're trying hard to put on a Brisona
Speaker 1: and they're not truly being themselves. And I think the
Speaker 1: coolest thing you can do is be unapologetically yourself. Yes, honestly,
Speaker 1: yes that is. But you know what's so hard is
Speaker 1: you know, and I go back to this all the time.
Speaker 1: Chris always says to me, I've never met someone who
Speaker 1: wants to be something other than what they are more
Speaker 1: than you like, wants to like things that they don't like.
Speaker 1: And I've talked about this ad nauseum on here. So
Speaker 1: I apologize. But like I wish I was someone who
Speaker 1: liked to bake. I wish I was someone who liked
Speaker 1: to organize. I wish I was someone who liked clean
Speaker 1: linens and like to smell them, and like I would
Speaker 1: picture Anya like when you would like fold things and
Speaker 1: you would just stare at your closet of folded things
Speaker 1: and you would be like hmm, Like, I wish I
Speaker 1: was that kind of person that like liked Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: well even more so, why did I had to pay
Speaker 1: you to do that for me? That person? Today? Because
Speaker 1: I have a pile of shit all over my bed
Speaker 1: that needs to be folded. I really would love if
Speaker 1: you had an actual pile of shit um that you
Speaker 1: needed to fold. But uh, yeah, I wish I was
Speaker 1: that person, And I think that, yeah, when you are
Speaker 1: your coolest self, you're okay that you don't like those
Speaker 1: things like I. But it's so hard for me to
Speaker 1: like I just being traveling yesterday. Traveling makes me so
Speaker 1: depressed because you're just alone all day with your fucking
Speaker 1: thoughts and you're just on your phone constantly, so you're
Speaker 1: comparing yourself to everyone, and it's just so hard not
Speaker 1: to hate yourself for the things that you're not or
Speaker 1: like the you know, because I always talking about like
Speaker 1: if you have a good body, it's because you got
Speaker 1: lucky with genetically, or you're just a person who likes
Speaker 1: to work out or has a motivation to do so.
Speaker 1: And if you don't work out, it's not because you're
Speaker 1: a fat, lazy piece of shit, it's because you just
Speaker 1: don't have the brain that was you know that is
Speaker 1: conducive to working out every day. And you can't compare
Speaker 1: yourself to Kirstin Floorman, who loves working out because she
Speaker 1: was born with a athletic parents who have that genetic
Speaker 1: disposition to like working out, Like, it's not because you're
Speaker 1: a worse person, she just got lucky in that way.
Speaker 1: But it's hard not to think that why can I
Speaker 1: be that way? Like why did she get that? And
Speaker 1: I did in and and go down that spiral? I
Speaker 1: mean I was like I was. I'm never someone who's
Speaker 1: like I need to get off Instagram, but yesterday I
Speaker 1: was in a bad place with it of like it's
Speaker 1: Instagram's trying to get me to kill myself. I think
Speaker 1: they're really which is anti is antithetical to what they
Speaker 1: actually want, which is me to live and keep spending money.
Speaker 1: Why are they trying to get us to be suicidal
Speaker 1: and like hate ourselves? So much. And the truth is
Speaker 1: is because you can't sell anything unless someone feels deficient.
Speaker 1: You cannot sell a single product. I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I always have known that. But you have to understand people,
Speaker 1: no one even me selling this podcast to you. I
Speaker 1: have to make you feel in some way that you
Speaker 1: need this podcast in your life, that your life is
Speaker 1: not good enough without listening to me. In order for
Speaker 1: you to listen to this podcast, everything that is a
Speaker 1: consumer product, you need to convince the person the consumer
Speaker 1: that they're not good enough in some way, their life
Speaker 1: is lacking. So there is not a single brand of clothing,
Speaker 1: a single uh you know, face soap or face wash
Speaker 1: or lip balm or you know, plus sized jumper that
Speaker 1: is not trying to make that is actually trying to
Speaker 1: make you feel good about yourself. They don't want that.
Speaker 1: Maybe the people that created it, the woman behind this
Speaker 1: jumpsuit that cinches at the waist and makes you look thinner,
Speaker 1: she had a good thought in mind of like, I
Speaker 1: want to make bigger women feel confident about themselves. If
Speaker 1: you did actually feel confident about yourself, you wouldn't need
Speaker 1: this fucking waist tightening suit. So it does not actually
Speaker 1: you might think that you want people to feel about
Speaker 1: it about themselves, but you wouldn't sell this thing unless
Speaker 1: if people did, if people like themselves for who they were.
Speaker 1: The only person who really wants you to like yourself
Speaker 1: is fucking Lizzo and she's look and even she's selling
Speaker 1: Yiddy that clothing line, and and to buy that line,
Speaker 1: you have to feel deficient in some way in your
Speaker 1: life that I don't have that cute of leggings. I
Speaker 1: don't have like it's I I would never think that
Speaker 1: I'm someone that wants people to feel lacking in their
Speaker 1: life in order to sell what I'm selling. But I
Speaker 1: must because that's the only way to sell something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that's rule number one of sales is I
Speaker 1: think is you have to you have to establish a
Speaker 1: need and then you have to make them aware of
Speaker 1: that need, and then you can say I have a
Speaker 1: solution to your problem. Yeah. Those old school commercials with
Speaker 1: the vacuum cleaners is always like the black and white
Speaker 1: picture with the person with the shitty vacuum cleaner going,
Speaker 1: this is so hard, and then like is this you?
Speaker 1: And it's like I guess it is me, and then
Speaker 1: like check out this vacuum cleaner that's in color. Even
Speaker 1: like I feel like my what I like to do
Speaker 1: my product is making people feel less alone, talking about
Speaker 1: my insecurities and being honest with myself so that people
Speaker 1: feel less weird about themselves. But I need you to
Speaker 1: feel weird about yourself in order to need me. There's
Speaker 1: no shortage of that. You don't have to do anything
Speaker 1: because everyone feels weird about themselves like that. That's the
Speaker 1: thing about I think podcasts and like what what you're
Speaker 1: bringing to the table is that, like people, you're not
Speaker 1: providing the problem. People have the problem no matter what,
Speaker 1: and you're providing some level of comfort. Yeah problem. But
Speaker 1: you know products do bring comfort, you know the massages
Speaker 1: and you know beds like linen, like nice things, comfy clothes.
Speaker 1: They bring comfort, but you need to create an air
Speaker 1: of discomfort in order for that person to buy it.
Speaker 1: And I just think it now when I look at products,
Speaker 1: I just go like, this product line, no matter how good,
Speaker 1: they are, trying to make me feel like like they
Speaker 1: care about me, they don't. They don't like me, they
Speaker 1: hate me. They want they want me to be And
Speaker 1: by the way, if their product solve my problems, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't need it anymore. And they need repeat customers, they
Speaker 1: need you to come back. So it's not just it's
Speaker 1: pretty um disappointing when you think about it all. And
Speaker 1: I was just on yesterday. I told on you, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I gotta get off Instagram, and so we were, we
Speaker 1: made up, we both decided no more for today. And
Speaker 1: then I asked look at something and then she was like, god,
Speaker 1: damn it. And I was like, I forgot how I got.
Speaker 1: I told her, I go, I think I'm over it too.
Speaker 1: I'm good for the rest of the night. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to get on Instagram. And then I closed my
Speaker 1: app and I reopened it and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I told you to look at someone story that I
Speaker 1: don't want them to see that I saw their story,
Speaker 1: and I'm not that even I did it. I will
Speaker 1: not fucking make it a fake account to stock people.
Speaker 1: I will just ask my friends to do it. I'm
Speaker 1: not ever going to create a fake account to so
Speaker 1: to look at someone. I feel like that is so low.
Speaker 1: I'd rather tell my friends, hey, will you look at
Speaker 1: her story so she doesn't know that I'm monitoring what
Speaker 1: she's doing, you know, Like I would rather do that,
Speaker 1: and then they screenshot it and send it to me,
Speaker 1: and then I have screenshots in my phone of this
Speaker 1: person's life, like it's much more incriminated account. I do
Speaker 1: this with my friend too, and I'm like, can I
Speaker 1: FaceTime you through your computer and then you point your
Speaker 1: phones I could look at this story. That's so gay,
Speaker 1: But that's a good idea though. I mean, my friend
Speaker 1: the other day, I go, is he watching your stories
Speaker 1: about this this person that I was interested and who
Speaker 1: this person has blocked me on all of their things,
Speaker 1: so they I know they have a secret account to
Speaker 1: look at my stuff, but I know that I can't
Speaker 1: ever communicate with them knowing that they see it, you know,
Speaker 1: And I really want this person to like see how
Speaker 1: much I hate them. And it's not who you think
Speaker 1: it is. If you're whoever is listening, um listeners, you don't.
Speaker 1: It's not who you think it is or who you
Speaker 1: might be thinking. You literally have no idea who this
Speaker 1: person is. Brian, I'll tell you at some point, but um,
Speaker 1: my friend, I know that they they follow my friend
Speaker 1: and that they my friend they sometimes watch their stories,
Speaker 1: and so I was like, put me on your story
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna be like Kia and I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna do it. And she's like, I have like people
Speaker 1: watching this. I go, you have to sacrifice it, because
Speaker 1: the only way that I'm gonna get my message through
Speaker 1: into this person is to be like ka. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: every time I'm with her, I'm like, can we please
Speaker 1: shot some kids to throw this person's away? And then
Speaker 1: she screenshots it to be like he saw it. I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: he knows what I think of because he knows that
Speaker 1: I know that he's watching that. Because she doesn't have
Speaker 1: that many followers. It's like, it's totally, um, it's such
Speaker 1: a low thing for me to do. But final thought,
Speaker 1: when people watch your Instagram stories, that's how you know
Speaker 1: they're jealous of you. They're they like you, they hate you.
Speaker 1: Like if that is the number one litmus test, would
Speaker 1: you disagree to find out if someone's Like if I
Speaker 1: suddenly see a famous person or a certain guy or
Speaker 1: a certain girl watching my stories, I go someone's checking
Speaker 1: in on me, someone's jealous, someone's like it's because I know.
Speaker 1: That's the only reason I watch people's stories. I Mean,
Speaker 1: sometimes you go through stories because you're bored and you're
Speaker 1: just bad blah blah blah blah. But if you're going
Speaker 1: through someone stories that you've never gone through and you
Speaker 1: pop up undermine, I know what you're doing. I mean,
Speaker 1: I look at your stories, what does that mean? Because Okay,
Speaker 1: or you're their friend and you do it all the time.
Speaker 1: Like when you watch my stories, I'm not like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, he's jealous or he's checking in on me.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, it's my friend Brian, Like that's there's
Speaker 1: a caveat there. That's different. When Anya or Noah watching
Speaker 1: my stories, I'm not like, oh, she like is jealous
Speaker 1: of my skin tone today? I'm just like And by
Speaker 1: the way, when people think when I say it, I
Speaker 1: think people are jealous of me, I know that they
Speaker 1: shouldn't be. I'm saying this with like, I'm jealous of
Speaker 1: people all the time too, And I guess I'm just projecting.
Speaker 1: When I'm watching someone stories, I don't watch a lot.
Speaker 1: It's usually because I'm like, what do they get? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, what are they doing in their life? Why
Speaker 1: I'm comparing myself to them being like how am I deficient? Okay,
Speaker 1: sorry I interrupted? What did you say? Well? When you
Speaker 1: watch a story of someone that you're not following. This
Speaker 1: definitely applies. Oh yeah, I mean that's I. I have
Speaker 1: guys that I've met in passing or you know, I
Speaker 1: could they and then suddenly they just start showing up
Speaker 1: under my Instagram story and it's a way to flirt.
Speaker 1: It's a way to go, hey, I'm here. When I've
Speaker 1: been single before, I've done it where I've just start
Speaker 1: watching guys stories that I'm not following because I know
Speaker 1: that my blue check mark is going to send me
Speaker 1: to the top of their views and then they'll know
Speaker 1: I'm interested. And then that starts the discourse in a
Speaker 1: bumble type way. That is like me making the first move,
Speaker 1: but not really. And girls, by the way, if you're
Speaker 1: own bumble, do not make the first move. That's not
Speaker 1: going to work for you. Maybe do an emoji, but
Speaker 1: don't actually say anything like hey, what's your favorite movie?
Speaker 1: Like guys, don't you can't do that. Girls, don't make
Speaker 1: the first move. You can make emoji move, Okay, yes,
Speaker 1: but it has to be an emoji or something. Bumble
Speaker 1: forces the girls to make the first move, but just
Speaker 1: do it very subtly, like just a picture, like a
Speaker 1: like or a tap or something. Don't do an actual sentence.
Speaker 1: I think that's fantastic advice. I don't the question like
Speaker 1: a too hard question. I think is not a good
Speaker 1: thing to do. Oh no, guys don't want to be interviewed,
Speaker 1: and yeah, it's no, don't do that. And then let's
Speaker 1: real quick because just for the sake of doing it,
Speaker 1: because we had it planned, let's do a top one
Speaker 1: bottom one. Um, okay, and the category today because we
Speaker 1: have the The author and creator of Apple rankings dot
Speaker 1: com um is Brian Frangie, which you gotta check out
Speaker 1: Apple rankings dot com. It is so funny and it
Speaker 1: really is a passioned, hilarious take on every kind of apple.
Speaker 1: And and he does like a was it like a
Speaker 1: nine point rating system, a rubric You used the word
Speaker 1: rubric less n F one hundred, the frani one hundred.
Speaker 1: It is my namesake and my legacy. And I have
Speaker 1: no children, and this is all I say. This, This
Speaker 1: is all I have. UM. So it's a it's broken
Speaker 1: down into nine categories that are ten points to each
Speaker 1: except for one category, taste, which is weighed twice at
Speaker 1: twenty points, and it adds up to one hundred and
Speaker 1: then I do give bonus points for certain factors like use, uniqueness,
Speaker 1: things like that. But yeah, it's the F one hundred,
Speaker 1: so it's out of one hundred. But it's not like
Speaker 1: a it's not like a test where sixty five is
Speaker 1: pass and like you're not good if you're not a
Speaker 1: ninety or above. It's like a it's like a bell curve. Okay,
Speaker 1: well I don't know what that means exactly, but um, yes, okay,
Speaker 1: so it's but it's just you. Do you feel like
Speaker 1: your take on these apples is like the right take
Speaker 1: or is it just your opinion? Like do you feel
Speaker 1: like you have a better palette than most people? I
Speaker 1: don't feel like I'm superior to anybody other than that
Speaker 1: I have tried all these apples, and there's a lot
Speaker 1: of people who think they like an apple and it's
Speaker 1: just that they haven't tried enough apples. It's got it. Now.
Speaker 1: There's a few apples that people are passionate about that
Speaker 1: they all love, and I just can't get honey crisp. Well,
Speaker 1: the honey Crisp is is a tolla fiji. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: So like there's certain apples that everyone that many people
Speaker 1: are like mad at me, like my mouth is watering
Speaker 1: looking at his site, it's so weird. Well, don't you
Speaker 1: describe what do you describe Biting into a Red Delicious
Speaker 1: as it's one of my a leather glove coffee coffee
Speaker 1: grinds in a leather glove is with accurate. It is
Speaker 1: a thick skin, merely disgrace. And it used to be
Speaker 1: a good apple. It used to be a good apple
Speaker 1: back in the turn. Will you get them? Sometimes you
Speaker 1: can get a good red Delicious where you bite into
Speaker 1: it and it cracks off. You don't have to go
Speaker 1: there's no like, I don't even know if you have
Speaker 1: a word for that, where you have to like put
Speaker 1: your teeth through it. I like when you bite an
Speaker 1: apple and you can just go crack and you just
Speaker 1: crack it off and it's like a jawbreaker almost. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's so good. Okay, let's um. Let's do our top
Speaker 1: one bottom one today. It's gonna be rapid fire. This
Speaker 1: has to be quick. We're doing fruit. That's the category
Speaker 1: top one, bottom one. Let's start with bottom one because
Speaker 1: we always do what is your least favorite fruit? Brian, Well,
Speaker 1: I have a new bottom one. It's not it's not
Speaker 1: the least favorite apple. I'm gonna do not least favorite fruit.
Speaker 1: But that's okay. I just found the golden russet apple,
Speaker 1: which I labeled a putrid corpse because it's like, it
Speaker 1: looks like it's a decomposing, you know, stinking corpse. It
Speaker 1: looks like the you know, like the Adams family. It
Speaker 1: looks like an apple that they would use. Um, it's
Speaker 1: good for side production. But the apple that I bought
Speaker 1: at the farmer's market they stink like shit. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: So an apple that stinks and looks like a corpse
Speaker 1: and then it doesn't taste good. God, what'd you call
Speaker 1: the golden russet? Golden russet? It's good for sight something
Speaker 1: a fucking a russet? A potato? Yeah, an apple parlance
Speaker 1: russet is the brownish, rust like skin. I don't need
Speaker 1: to finish a sentence. Okay, So okay, my least favorite
Speaker 1: fruit is uh great fruit. I don't get it. I know,
Speaker 1: it's like a diety, like everyone loves it. It tastes bitter,
Speaker 1: it's not good. It doesn't make it. I don't I
Speaker 1: had it in a salad the other day. Anya, you
Speaker 1: were you witnessed me eat it. I ate around it
Speaker 1: and then I was still hungry then and I was like, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: I'll eat the great fruit. And it was just like
Speaker 1: so gross and better MENO like, um uh, okay, on
Speaker 1: your what's your least favorite? Love the look of this fruit?
Speaker 1: Really disappointed by the taste of a dragon fruit. I
Speaker 1: don't know what a dragon fruit is. It looks like,
Speaker 1: you know, cookies and cream, ice cream. It's just it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's beautiful, but it tastes like shit. That was on
Speaker 1: I got to the hotel on Saturday and I couldn't
Speaker 1: eat it because I was just like or on Sunday
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't even I don't want
Speaker 1: to try this. Okay. So it's not a good taste,
Speaker 1: not very good, just not satisfacing, not sweet. Yeah all right, noah.
Speaker 1: My least favorite, I'd have to say, is the orange.
Speaker 1: Too much work, not enough satisfaction at the end. What
Speaker 1: about a little cutie? Yeah, those are no work. Those
Speaker 1: come off like so easily. Those are different ones. Fourth weeks,
Speaker 1: It's like like, like a tangerine is fine, but I
Speaker 1: just like orange, not into it. I don't like the
Speaker 1: way you say this whole bit about oranges. Oranges he hates. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Noah says a very long bit. Wait do you say orange, Bryan,
Speaker 1: you're orange? Orange? Okay, right, do you hear the difference? Noah,
Speaker 1: orange and water water water water water water? Yeah? Uh cute?
Speaker 1: Okay orange? Um orange? So okay, let's get to the best.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite fruit? Sweet tango? Favorite apple? Has a
Speaker 1: sweet tango apple. It's a it's a crisp, crunchy apple.
Speaker 1: It's only available in September and October every year. If
Speaker 1: you get it outside of those months, then it's probably
Speaker 1: been frozen and shipped from New Zealand. It's not gonna
Speaker 1: taste as good unless you live in New Zealand. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, rapid fire. Good to know sweet tango. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure you have um my favorite fruit. This is
Speaker 1: going to be controversial. Um honeydew. I love it. It
Speaker 1: is fresh, it is light, it is always sometimes it
Speaker 1: can be right like if it gets like, you know,
Speaker 1: it turns. I think that's when people get turned off
Speaker 1: from the honeydew. Is they It can easily turn and
Speaker 1: ruin a fruit salad and just be that stinky kind
Speaker 1: of like mildewy thing, but a fresh honeydew. I just
Speaker 1: I like the color. It's a soothing color. It's um
Speaker 1: feels light on sugar. You can eat a massive amounts
Speaker 1: of it, which I love anything that you can just
Speaker 1: eat a ton of and never stop and um, and
Speaker 1: it's really like hydrating. I just think it's so fresh.
Speaker 1: I like it better than cantelope. I know it's a
Speaker 1: that's a hot take, um, but that is how I feel.
Speaker 1: That is a hot take. Honeyde perfectly ripe. M No,
Speaker 1: I'll take it. I'll take it crispy, I'll take it
Speaker 1: like I don't you know, I just like it any
Speaker 1: I like it any way. I'm a m I'm a
Speaker 1: melon head, as I Chris used to call me because
Speaker 1: I would just eat melon all day. And I'm just
Speaker 1: I took a break from fruit for a while because
Speaker 1: I was just like trying to avoid sugar. But now
Speaker 1: I'm back in the honey honeydude, why do? Why pizza
Speaker 1: and honeydo? I'm back in baby like. I love it
Speaker 1: too much. Don't not combined obviously, okay, an ya, what
Speaker 1: is your favorite fruit? Well, even though I went through
Speaker 1: a huge mango phase of nicky nose, and a mango
Speaker 1: recently took out part of my tooth bonding. I have
Speaker 1: to go with braybur and apples. They're crispy, they're dependable,
Speaker 1: they're delicious, and burn aren't those kind of like aren't
Speaker 1: those like when you bite into it goes like no, no,
Speaker 1: it breaks off? Or is it breaks off? Okay? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What do you think? Can you tell us aboutburn? Brayburn
Speaker 1: is I called the civil rights apple because it was
Speaker 1: back in the fifties. Back in the fifties, single colored
Speaker 1: apples were the rule of the day. You had a
Speaker 1: red apple and a green apple, but you didn't have
Speaker 1: any apples that would sell that were multi colored. And
Speaker 1: the brayburn was the first apple that was both red
Speaker 1: and green, and it took over the marketing because people
Speaker 1: were like, I don't think this is a brand. It's
Speaker 1: like those cotton candy grapes. People are by it. It
Speaker 1: paved the way for multi colored apples to become a
Speaker 1: part of It's like the Winnie Harlow of apples. But
Speaker 1: they are disappearing because they are susceptible to certain diseases
Speaker 1: and they're really hard to make, and so there's a
Speaker 1: lot of Brayburn children that have Brayburn parentage that are
Speaker 1: becoming more popular than the Brayburn And over the next
Speaker 1: ten years, you're probably not going to see Brayburn's outside
Speaker 1: of Armor's markets or orchards. They're going to get disappear.
Speaker 1: I mean, you look like this close up shot of
Speaker 1: you looks like at MP our guy giving like a
Speaker 1: agricultural front lines. Uh report um, okay, good to know.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Brian for informing us about the
Speaker 1: heritage and the future of the braybur and apple. And
Speaker 1: then Noah, what is your favorite fruit? Okay, this is
Speaker 1: gonna be It's gonna be this is gonna be a
Speaker 1: crazy I just know your answer is gonna be insane. Okay,
Speaker 1: my true favorite fruit is the apricot. But I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say again and saying what the fun Those are only
Speaker 1: consumed dry? Has never heard of a wet apricot? Yes,
Speaker 1: they're not wet. That's the one that army hammer fucked. Um.
Speaker 1: And and that's an eight or is that of someone's
Speaker 1: arm A stone fruit? Okay, yes, okay, stone fruit is
Speaker 1: always you call it, yeah, because they have a little
Speaker 1: core that's a stone a pit. Okay, I never heard
Speaker 1: of that. I like that the pit is like always clean.
Speaker 1: There's like never any like like tents or anything like that.
Speaker 1: Clean pit. Yeah, all right, and then what you said,
Speaker 1: but but I want to hear Brian do a rapid
Speaker 1: fire about my favorite apple, which is the Granny Smith
Speaker 1: whoa yeah, controversial, bitter gran very divisive apple. It's an
Speaker 1: apple that I get a lot of flak four because
Speaker 1: I rank it very low because it I think it's sour.
Speaker 1: It's definitely the most sour app for baking, right, it's
Speaker 1: a baking apples get. I give it a fifty seven
Speaker 1: out of one hundred. It's too thick skinned, it's a
Speaker 1: very my stomach hurt thinking about my mouth is watering again.
Speaker 1: It makes your gums bleed. Scientifically, yes, yes, mouth watering.
Speaker 1: Your gums will bleed, your tooth enamel will road um.
Speaker 1: But it also has a lot of fibers, so it's
Speaker 1: good for pooping. And you just sold something for me
Speaker 1: from from childhood because I love I love Granny Smith.
Speaker 1: The one time I bit into one and there was
Speaker 1: blood in it, and I thought I ate a worm,
Speaker 1: but I but never explained to me why it starts
Speaker 1: really of blood. Do they Maybe they do. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't go fishing. There's actually an enzyme. There's an
Speaker 1: enzyme in the Granny Smith apple that makes certain people's
Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah, all right, Brian, I ask you really quick.
Speaker 1: My mom is from Kazakhstan, and she claims that apple's
Speaker 1: originated in Kazakhstan. And there's actually a book called that
Speaker 1: Is it true? Do you know this true? That is
Speaker 1: where the original apple came from. Wild apples all came
Speaker 1: from Kazakhstan. Thank you, Spica. Oh. I just got a
Speaker 1: text that my sister's dog is being put down today,
Speaker 1: so we gotta go. Um, everyone rip Wilson. He's filled
Speaker 1: with tumors and he has to be put down today.
Speaker 1: I just gotta text. I'm so sorry to end on
Speaker 1: a sad note, but um, that is the circle of life.
Speaker 1: He ate a bad apple. Um, oh, sweet Willie, it's
Speaker 1: so sad. Fuck. Okay, I'm sorry to end it on that,
Speaker 1: but I have to go because I actually am going
Speaker 1: to the dermatologist to get a bunch of stuff injected
Speaker 1: in my face so i'll look different next week. Um,
Speaker 1: there will be one less dog in the world. But
Speaker 1: maybe I'll add a dog to my life. I know,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I didn't mean above it ever your mind,
Speaker 1: but it's gonna be okay. He'll go peacefully surrounded by
Speaker 1: his loved ones and it's a better solution for him.
Speaker 1: Been living with all these tumors. All right, guys, thanks
Speaker 1: for listening. Have a great weekend. Um, I love you
Speaker 1: and don't be cut And jack fruit was not talked about.
Speaker 1: But is that a fruit? We'll discut us sever